Fledgling Emotions
by SaoryEmanoelle
Summary: The twins Roxas and Ventus just began High School. What should be just another school year however may change completely due to a black-haired teen. What exactly about him made Ventus feel so interested anyway? (Please check AO3 for Trigger Warnings!)
1. Chapter 1

His footsteps echoed through the house as he ran from the kitchen to his bedroom and then to the bathroom, racing against the clock. The sound of the hurried brushing of his teeth and of the water falling from the open faucet were the only things he could hear before another shout came from outside.

"Ven, hurry up! We're going to be late because of you!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Ventus replied although Roxas probably didn't even hear due to all the foam in his mouth.

"Well, I'm leaving without you, bye!"

Ventus spit it all out, grabbed his backpack from his bed and dashed down the stairs, giving his mother a goodbye kiss before jumping through the door to outside. Seeing Roxas a few meters away already walking down the sidewalk, he huffed and caught up to him, irritated.

"Would it be that hard to wait?"

That would be their first day at the new school. Finally, high school! They were so excited to know the place and figure out how classes would work that the brothers woke up earlier than they used to but, as Roxas expected, Ventus was late.

"You say it like I didn't! If only you had left the bed when I told you to… No wonder I am the oldest!" Roxas rolled his eyes, pretending to be mad.

"By seven minutes. Do you really have to bring that up every time? I just couldn't find my shoes, that's all! If you had helped me-"

"It is your stuff, you take care of it! What, you want me to make your bed, too?"

"Rox!"

Even if it was their first day in the new school they could have found it with their eyes closed: The boys lived in Twilight Town since they were born. They could easily find their way and go wherever they wanted to, except the most dangerous places where their parents didn't allow them to go and where they really didn't feel like going to anyway.

Soon they were walking among dozens of students who followed the same path as them, some for their first day as well and others to continue where they left off from the last year. As the twins went through the gates they looked at each other enthusiastically and walked straight to the schoolyard where the welcome ceremony would take place.

"This place is huge!" Ventus said after a few minutes of walking and looking around. Indeed, the schoolyard by itself was a lot bigger than the one from their last school!

"Wonder if we'll find Sora here with this many people though…"

"Oh, don't worry. If we can't find him I'm sure he'll find us"

"Heyaaa!" - Called a familiar voice behind them.

"See?"

"Sora!" Roxas greeted their friend with a smile and Ventus did the same.

"My bad, I overslept!" He put his hands behind his head "What did I miss?"

Just like them, Sora was a 15 year old. The brown-haired boy met them way back in kindergarten and just like that became their best friend. They had always studied together since then and this year it would be no different, which was just what the boys wanted.

It didn't take long before the principal took the lead, accompanied by the vice-principal. The former walked calmly and leisurely while stroking his long beard, his blue and yellow clothing stained out among everyone else. The vice-principal followed, wearing a formal white shirt and brown pants. The two stood before their students and waited until everyone was quiet to start speaking.

"Good morning! To those who return and those who are starting today, welcome! I am your principal and my name is Yen Sid" He pointed to his coworker "For me, for your vice-principal Mr. Eraqus and for all of our staff, it is a pleasure to be with you once again this year"

As the adults spoke Sora rolled his eyes "Here comes an encouraging speech and we are off to suffering. You know, I think high school won't be so different from what we already know"

"It'll be harder, probably" Roxas replied "I heard the math teacher is an ass"

Ventus ignored his brother and friend, focusing only on the adults before them. Yen Sid didn't really give them any important information, but the younger blond paid attention to him nonetheless.

Once the ceremony was over everyone went to their respective classroom. There were about thirty students in their class and the bustle had already begun as they chose their seats. Roxas and Sora used to sit next to each other and Ven behind one of the two. This time, however, they were too late. Sora had to sit in the front which he hated since he wouldn't be able to sleep in class anymore. Roxas sat on the last desk of the middle row and Ventus right in front of him.

He turned to his older brother "Looks like you'll be the one helping me on the tests this year"

"You wish!" He replied, boasting and smiling. Ventus laughed and then, as he sat upright, saw a student heading for the desk to his left.

He wasn't the only one there, of course, but something about him stood out. First, it looked like he was maybe two or three years older than most of them. Second, he was extremely like Sora, something Roxas noticed that as well. The black haired teenager walked unwillingly, already bored and maybe even angry. He took his notebook out of his bag, settled into his chair and let himself be, crossing his arms.

What truly stood out the most however were his yellow eyes. Ventus found himself staring into them, a little taken back but amazed at the same time. He couldn't say what exactly they were filled with, but Ventus felt a deep and strong emotion on the older boy's gaze.

"What are you looking at?

Only when the boy said that was that Ventus realized he was still staring at him. Taken by surprise, the blond shook his head.

"Nothing, I-"

"Tch" The boy grumbled and looked away from him, staring to nothing in particular. Ventus heard Roxas grumble behind him; his brother really didn't like when people talked to Ventus in that tone. He just hoped he wouldn't say anyt-

"Hey, you don't need to speak like that, you know?" Roxas said. Oh well.

The older student cleared his throat and spoke mockingly "Or what? Will you force me not to do it, blondie? "

Ventus looked from his brother to the other student, tense. To his relief, the teacher - A man with blue eyes, his goatee as blond as his hair and five silver piercings on his ears - entered the classroom at that very moment and everyone turned to him.

"Good morning, everyone" He started, a soft smile on his lips "I suppose you expect me to explain how our classes will work. However, I prefer to check how many of us are truly here before I begin. My name is Luxord"

The man then sat down and called the roll. Ventus rested his head on his hands, following the professor's eyes towards each student he called as in trying to know who it was he was referring to. When he called for _Vanitas_ , however, he didn't look to the teen.

"Here!"

It was that black-haired boy. Ventus turned to him automatically and was met by the raven staring right back to him. The blond was quick to focus on the teacher again and soon enough he called for his name.

"Ventus?"

"I'm here, sir!"

He lowered his head, slightly concerned. Roxas was very protective of him, but he didn't want his brother to get into a fight for a stupid reason like someone talking angrily to him. A few minutes later however he forgot about that, trying to have a good first day at this new school.

Vanitas, of course, was aware of the way he had been looked at. He frowned.

"Ventus, huh?"


	2. Chapter 2

The first week went by in a flash. For most of the students' relief some teachers spared them of an introduction speech and went straight for their class content. Just one week later it was already possible to identify the students who were part of that class.

Sora had already made friends with those who sat near him, especially a silver haired teenager called Riku. Ventus was already very fond of Ienzo - Who seemed to be a really studious guy - and they had spoken to each other once or twice. Roxas, on the other hand, limited himself to merely watch for a few days.

On Fridays they would have two Physical Education classes, then Biology and finally Sociology. There were rumors that the Biology teacher, Marluxia, was also responsible for the garden of the school and so, even before they got to know him, the boys wondered if they could get good grades by giving him roses.

Before Marluxia however they met Aeleus, their Physical Education teacher. He quickly introduced himself and explained they would have practical and theoretical classes. On that particular day they would go to the sports court on the second class and the students listened to him while he spoke of his teaching methods, everyone eager to go.

As they got there they all gathered at the center of the place while waiting for the teacher to arrive, carrying a rubber ball in his right hand.

"Today we will only do a brief warm-up but from next week forward I hope you all take what you're doing very seriously"

He threw the ball into the air then took it back "Everybody in here knows how to play Prison Ball, I believe"

The students agreed, some feeling excited, others not quite so. Among those were Ventus, Ienzo and also Xion, a black haired girl which seemed to be friends with Ienzo as well. She didn't really like sports and would always say she was too slow for those kind of games. Ienzo didn't really care that much, although he'd also rather read instead of run after a ball.

As for Ventus he wished he could avoid that class altogether. He was all in for exercises but only when he actually knew who he was playing with. He was a little tense because he didn't know his new classmates that well, which was to be expected of course, and so walked to his brother and looked to him as if asking for help. Roxas rolled his eyes.

"Relax, Ven! It's just a little game, what could go wrong?"

"All right!" Aeleus took a step forward "I want two students here to set up the teams. Do we have volunteers?"

"I'll go, professor!" Exclaimed the silver haired student Riku, his cyan eyes gleaming with anticipation.

"Very well. Anyone else? Will I have to choose someone?" He said after being greeted by silence.

"I'll do it" It was Vanitas and he walked to the teacher, hand in his pants' pockets. Roxas frowned.

"I want you to play fair and square!" Aeleus warned, letting them assemble their teams. Once Vanitas was chosen to begin he looked at his class colleagues (Everyone younger than him) until he saw Roxas staring at him. Was that brat still nervous about the way he had talked to his little brother? Vanitas smiled.

"Ven" He called, motioning for him to join his team. Roxas gritted his teeth. _Ven_?

Ventus approached him, even more tense as he watched his brother exchange glances with the raven. Vanitas smiled even more and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Let's show them!" He said, looking to he boy and smiling. He saw how Roxas stared at him; he was still angry and that was a good enough reason to piss him off by getting this close to his little brother.

Since some students hadn't come the teams were unequal. There were 13 people with Riku and 12 with Vanitas. Ventus stood as far as possible of the other team and was relieved when he saw Xion in his team. Sora and Roxas were on Riku's.

"Let the best man win!" Riku said before the match. Vanitas nodded and handed him the ball. The whistle sounded and the game started.

The first move already sent a student to the prison. They soon noticed that the two leaders of the teams were the strongest of the class and didn't think twice before hurling the ball with force and speed. Ventus considered himself to be well protected while staying behind his teammates, but as soon as they were hit and sent to the prison he couldn't hide anymore. He never jumped from side to side as much as he did that day.

"When will this end?!" He thought to himself when the ball came flying in his direction, but it hit the ground first and then he grabbed it. The boy stared at it for a few seconds before hearing the screams of his team, now composed of only five people who hadn't been hit, encouraging him to throw it. Unsure of what he was doing the took the risk and threw it without looking.

He could barely believe when it hit Sora.

"Ahhh, come on, Ven! Seriously?"

"To the prison!" Exclaimed the teacher. Sora stared at Ventus pretending to be angry but then smiled and ran to the other side of the court, joining Roxas.

"Only a few left now!" Vanitas said with a smirk. On his side were him, Ventus, Zack and Selphie. On the other were Riku, Tidus and Kairi. They were in greater number and had all odds to win.

Perhaps due to fear of losing, however, Riku reacted mercilessly. A few moves later and there were only Vanitas and Ventus - Ven leaned on his knees, gasping - against Riku alone. As much as they tried to hit him, Riku swerved too fast for them.

"Hey, raise that head of yours! There's no way we're losing now!" Vanitas screamed but Ventus barely heard him, out of breath. It was a miracle for him to get so far in the game and he really wanted to leave, but the strength with which the ball was thrown made him avoid any contact with it. The two continued as long as they could, Vanitas throwing the object and Ventus running away from it.

"I can't take this anymore!" Shouted the blond, praying for the class to end. Vanitas cleared his throat.

"Come on, brat! Stop whining and pay attention or else you'll get hit!" He sneered, looking at him. Then he looked at Riku-

And all he saw in the next seconds were stars when the ball hit him in the nose and Vanitas staggered back already dizzy, lowered his head and placed a hand over his face, grunting. Ventus stopped moving and Riku approached him.

"Oh shit! My bad, man!" Riku said, worried. Vanitas stood still for a few seconds, the pain rising to his head. There was laughter and then Aeleus approached.

"Are you alright?" The teacher asked and Vanitas waved his hand, saying that he was. He lifted his head slowly, wiping the blood from his nose with the back of his hand. Ven watched everything and almost stopped breathing when he saw how Vanitas stared at Riku, as if about to kill him. Contrary to his expression, however, he simply took a deep breath and raised an eyebrow.

"Fuck, man. You really are strong. Damnit!"

Riku laughed nervously "Hehe... Sorry"

Aeleus instructed the older boy to stop playing to what he agreed with but not before taking to Ventus "It's up to you now!"

"W-" He looked at Riku, terrified. The teen blinked a few times in silence and then smiled.

"You can still win this one" He said, shrugging as if it were nothing. Their classmates started shouting words of encouragement at them to Ventus' despair, now standing on the center of the field. Vanitas sat on the floor at a considerable distance from the game and stood there, watching.

Just as before all Ventus did was to run from the ball and let the ones from the prison help him. Sora jumped around like crazy and even Roxas barely contained his excitement while Ventus ran and even rolled across the floor to remain intact. There were only a few seconds left before class was over and at that moment he gave up, covering his face with his arms and waiting to be hit. With that, Riku simply threw the ball in order to hit him as weakly as he could and then it was over.

"I won!" Exclaimed the young man, folding his arms. His team approached him shouting and celebrating and even Ven's team congratulated him for having endured so much. In the end, he had proven to more agile than he thought he was.

"Awesome!" Roxas said as he ruffled his brother's hair and Ventus smiled, more out of relief than happiness. Aeleus announced the end of the class and the students began to leave the sports court as they talked and laughed, everyone getting to know each other a little bit better.

Ventus still took a few seconds to breathe before going after them. Sora kept talking about how Riku had been 'so cool' and how Ventus had betrayed him by hitting him like that, making Roxas laugh. When everyone was back in the classroom and in their seats, Ventus looked to the desk next to him and frowned.

Vanitas wasn't there.


	3. Chapter 3

Vanitas returned to the classroom a few minutes after everybody else. He walked to his place in silence and lay his head over the desk, closing his eyes. Ventus turned to him, worried about his nose.

"Are you okay?"

The older boy replied by simply nodding, leaving Ventus guessing if he was saying the truth. Not long after that, Vanitas fell asleep.

To endure the following classes was hard. The students were all tired after the game and to listen to the teacher talking about theories on the origin of life made them all feel sleepy. Ienzo seemed to be the only one focused on what the teacher was saying since not even Ventus could do it - He allowed himself to not pay attention this time after what he had gone through in the game and lay his head on the desk as well. Marluxia scolded his students several times, but he already expected that kind of discouraged reception; it always happened after Aeleus' classes.

"...it is the third theory we'll study: the Cosmic Panspermia hypothesis. It states that there are seeds of life which exist all over the universe and that living things may have arrived from outer space"

Ventus shook his head. Third? What were the first two? He rubbed his eyes, struggling to keep them open and Roxas gave him a nudge, whispering.

"You'll fall asleep if you keep your head down like that!"

"I'm tired, okay?"

"Yeah, well, say that to the the teacher!"

Ventus lifted his head and blushed, lowering his head in embarrassment after meeting Marluxia's reprimanding gaze. He coughed and stared to the blackboard, not even blinking for a few moments.

After what felt like years of struggle against fatigue there was an even worse class: Sociology. It didn't help that professor Saix always sounded so diplomatic. He opened his book on the first page and, as if the lengthy content he was teaching was not enough, gave them homework right away. Several 'ahhhh' were heard, displeasing the teacher as much as the students themselves. At least the weekend was already there and it was that thought that kept the teenagers (kind of) attentive.

When the bell rang they all got up as fast as they could, magically awake again. Sora approached his friends.

"We could buy some sweets for us to eat!" He suggested. The three were going to spend the afternoon at the twins' house that day "And soda too!"

"Did you bring the game?" Roxas asked, to which Sora nodded.

"I wouldn't forget the most important thing, you know!"

Since on the next week classes would start for good, with no more time for rambling or introductory speeches, they just wanted to chill for a while. That said, they walked home talking freely about their first days at their new school.

"Oy, am I only one who couldn't stop looking at Marly's necklace?"

Roxas laughed "Marly? My God, Sora, we barely know him and you already gave the guy a nickname?"

"What necklace?" Ven asked "I can't see much from back there"

"There's a scythe pendant on the end! And did you see how he stared at me? I felt like he was about to reap my soul for taking a nap in front of him!" Sora changed the subject without even giving them time to reply "And what did you think of the game, uh? Man, it was so cool!"

"Riku throws the ball too strongly, though" Ventus said, remembering the hard time he had had "It's kinda scary to play against him"

"I know, right? I thought Vanitas had broken his nose! Wouldn't want to be in his place!"

"I think no one would, actually" Roxas agreed. When they arrived, it was he who knocked on the door and entered first.

"Mom, we're home! Sora is with us!" He said and the other two followed him inside. His mother came to greet them, smiling.

"Hello, Sora! Couldn't get away from them, eh?"

He laughed "Yeah, they keep on following me! But I'm used to it!"

After putting their backpacks away the three boys went to the kitchen for lunch. They spoke of their day to their mother and laughed at each other remembering everything that had happened. Sora was pretty much part of the family after being with them for so many years and felt comfortable enough to talk nonsense in front of their parents. Once they were done, the boys ran up to their bedroom on the second floor where they spent the entire afternoon playing video games.

The brothers seldom left their house during the weekends. Ventus was not an outgoing person and Roxas didn't like to go alone. That weekend was no different and they decided to do nothing at all. Sora returned there on Sunday, but didn't stay for too long and before they realized it was already Monday again.

The first class was of mathematics with teacher Luxord. On their first class together he had made his students laugh with jokes and nonsense about the new school year, but now things would start for real and they would miss the first week's cakewalk.

"I hope you remember what you've seen until now or you'll find it hard to understand what I'll teach you" He started scribbling on the blackboard "I don't want to lose any more time so... Can someone tell me what is a set?"

The students looked at each other. It was general opinion that answering a math question was too risky.

"A grouping of elements?" Someone said; it was Ienzo.

"You could say that" He turned to the students and began to dig deeper into the subject. Although he hated losing time - saying that to do so was the same as to be defeated - , Luxord was a calm and patient teacher. He explained his lessons as many times needed and only moved forward when everyone understood it all.

Ventus didn't go too well with exact sciences. He preferred humans and even biological ones, but mathematics in particular had always been hell for him. Roxas was the opposite and listened to every detail, writing down as much as he could. Sora was a mix of both but the truth was he liked to sleep more than anything else.

That week they got to know their school teachers better. On mondays they also had classes with their History teacher Aqua, an extremely intelligent and patient woman and with their Chemistry instructor, Even. At first Ventus had been shocked by his stiffness. More than that, with the stiffness towards Ienzo especifically but it all made sense when he found out the boy was his adopted son ( _Poor guy_ , he thought to himself).

On Tuesdays they started the day with Music classes. Their teacher was Demyx, a young man who smiled and laughed all the time. It was the first class where Ventus saw somewhat of interest in Vanitas' eyes but it was still hard to see him do anything other than look at the blackboard or sleep. After that they had Geography lessons with Terra, Aqua's husband, and although he was one of the nicest teacher he couldn't keep the class silent for long; perhaps it was his way of teaching but it was not uncommon to hear him grumble dissatisfied with the lack of attention.

At the end of the day Xemnas began their studies on Philosophy. The worst part wasn't the content itself but the way the teacher spoke. He seemed to be always deeply absorbed in his own ideas and spoke with the calmness and reasoning of a true philosopher - Or at least he thought so. It seemed he was good friends with Saix and often mentioned studies they would have with him.

Wednesday. Two English classes with Larxene, another two of math with Luxord and, finally, Physics with teacher Braig whose sarcasm and irony were perceptible even in his expressions.

During many of those classes, Vanitas liked to see his colleagues struggling to understand what they were learning. He enjoyed watching them work hard only to be disappointed later and to kill his boredom he occasionally made little balls out of paper with sheets of his own notebook and threw them on anyone who was closer to him. In that occasion, Braig saw him do it.

"Why, look who's here!" He exclaimed aloud. The black-haired young man rolled his eyes. He hated the man "Wait, haven't I seen you in this room before? Oh yeah, you failed the year, didn't you?"

Ventus glanced at him as did everyone else. Vanitas crossed his arms, not looking at the teacher as he spoke.

"And it was not just once but two years in a row! Such a smart kiddo, eh? Are you waiting for your ex-classmates to leave before you do something? As if!"

Vanitas ignored him. The hell with what he had done, he thought to himself. Slowly the students turned their attention back to their instructor. If there was someone who made no effort to humiliate his students it was him, and with that in mind everybody remained silent.

On the penultimate day of the week they had two more English classes, two more of History and two of Arts. At last on Friday they met Aeleus, Marluxia and Saix again. This time, however, they weren't as lucky as last week.

"The seminar must consist of a report, slides and a mandatory presentation for everyone in the group!" Marluxia explained and Sora let out an audible sigh as he leaned over his desk "I repeat, everyone! The minimum number of members is three and the maximum is six. I'll draw the available subjects myself in a few minutes"

"But it's our second week!" Kairi mumbled to her friends Selphie and Namine "What are we gonna present?"

Marluxia raised an eyebrow listening to her complain "The base for the seminars will be taught to you in the next classes. You will have a month to work on it, so I will not accept excuses like 'I didn't have time' or 'I forgot'. I'll give you five minutes to choose your partners and give me your names"

Ventus turned to his brother ("Of course we'll do it together", Roxas said) and Sora waved at them from the front. Ienzo was looking around for someone when he saw Ventus and was quickly accepted in their group, joining them.

"Hey, Riku, wanna join us as well?" Sora asked his colleague sitting in the next row.

"Oh, I already have a group" He replied, pointing at Namine and Kairi "Maybe next time"

Sora nodded slightly disappointed and went to the twins "So, how many are we?"

"Four. Me, Ven, you and Ienzo. That's enough, right?" Asked Roxas.

"Sure, I'll give our names to Marly" Sora said and went to the teacher's desk where other students were waiting. A few minutes later, Marluxia reviewed the groups and each of the students. He squinted his eyes.

"We have 26 of you here today, but there are two students alone. I want Seifer and Vanitas in a group." Neither of them seemed very interested in that, actually. They both did not care much about the class or being there but they would have to do something. Ventus looked at Roxas but his brother shook his head; he didn't want any troublemakers with them.

"We can simply join those who didn't come today, ya know?" Seifer said, seeing no group he wanted to be part of. Vanitas stretched his legs and scratched his head carefree. Seeing no one would accept them voluntarily, Marluxia accepted Seifer's idea and let the two of them take care of that.

Ventus and Roxas group received 'Cell' as a subject. They would have to talk about everything from its physical formation, methods of reproduction and functions as a whole. It wasn't a difficult subject and everyone agreed to get it started as quickly as possible. After Roxas suggested they do so at their home, they got each others' cell phone numbers to confirm they would start on the following day. With that, each one of them settled back into their seats and waited for the time to leave.


	4. Chapter 4

The boys decided to start working on the next day and agreed to do it early so they could then spend the afternoon free. Sora arrived at 10AM while Ienzo, taken there by his dad, arrived at 10:30. Even spoke directly to the twins' father before leaving his son there.

"If there's any problem, you can call me at this number" Said the chemist, giving the man his phone number.

"Don't worry, Even. I am sure Ienzo will feel at home" He said. The boy said goodbye to his father and, seeing Ventus on the other side of the door, entered the house.

The twins' bedroom was at the second floor of the house and they quickly made their way up the stairs. Sora had already taken off his shoes and lay on the bed while reading a comic book. Roxas had just turned the computer on when they entered the room. Each of the brothers had a bed and there was a wardrobe facing them from the other side of the room, not forgetting they had their own bathroom as well. On the wall there was a huge clock and some posters of bands and games they liked, next to their computer and videogame. Ienzo smiled at the plush Ventus left over his bed, a cute yellow cat.

After greeting each other, the students sat down and began to discuss what they should do. Sora agreed to make the slides and Roxas the report; Ventus would write down the content they would talk about and Ienzo would define the presentation as a whole. Without further ado they began their research and thanks to the insistence of Ventus and Ienzo, they managed to make a lot of progress that day.

After taking a break for lunch, the boys returned to the room. Only Ienzo approached the computer this time.

"Are we not going to continue?"

"Ah... But I feel so lazy right now. Especially after eating the way I did!" Sora said.

"What if we wind up for today?" Roxas suggested and Ventus agreed.

"Yeah, we still have a month ahead of us before the presentation. We're early, Ien"

"Okay..." Ienzo laughed with uncertainty "So, what do you wanna do? "

Roxas smiled "I know! We're going to the best ice cream shop of the neighborhood! The only one that has the best ice cream flavor of all"

"Oh yeah!" Ventus celebrated "Sea Salt Ice Cream! You'll love it, Ien! Everybody does! "

They left a few minutes later. The ice cream shop was reasonably large, having more than just ice cream on sale. There were tables and seats both inside and outside the place, which were constantly occupied. Upon their arrival they chose an outside table for themselves and began to decide what they would ask for, picking up a small menu with all kinds of ice creams, milkshakes, sweets and chilled treats. Since they would get their popsicles later, they decided to wait for a while before someone came to serve them.

"Good afternoon. Have you chosen what to order?" Asked a familiar voice. The four of them turned around at the same time to see who it was and opened their eyes wide.

"Vanitas!" Greeted Sora, waving at him.

Vanitas raised an eyebrow, feeling nothing but pure boredom at the look of them. He was wearing a blue uniform, the same color as the ice cream shop's logo.

"I didn't know you worked here!" Ven said smiling. The older teen took a pen and a notepad out of his pants pocket.

"Yeah, well, someone has to work in order to eat. What will you want?"

Roxas spoke first "I want a, ahn, medium-sized chocolate milkshake!"

"The same for me!" Said Sora. Ienzo hadn't decided what he wanted yet so he said he'd ask later. Ventus thought a little bit.

"Ahn... A strawberry juice!"

"Juice?" Roxas laughed "Come on, Ven!"

"I'm thirsty!" He turned to Vanitas "Have you started to work on your seminar?"

"Nope and I won't" Replied the boy "When you decide what you'd like to order, just call me. You'll be served soon" He said to Ienzo and turned his back to them, taking their request. He sounded too formal and different but despite the strangeness it made sense since he was at work.

"When was the last time we came here?" Roxas asked after a few minutes of waiting "He didn't work here back then"

"Not too long ago... I don't know, maybe three weeks?" Sora replied thoughtfully "But then again we didn't know him. If he already worked in here we wouldn't even notice"

"He said he had to work in order to eat" Commented Ven "Does he live alone?"

"You guys like to talk about people behind their backs?" It was Vanitas, slightly irritated "Yes, I live alone. Why? Do you want to go to my place?"

The way he said that caught everyone by surprise. Ventus turned red and lowered his head. Only when Vanitas left and after a quick exchange of glances, they resumed their conversation and stayed for over an hour there.

Ienzo soon felt very comfortable with the other boys and, even after they finished eating, the four friends laughed and told silly jokes for a long time. Ventus however would occasionally look around. He felt bad for what Vanitas had said about 'talking behind people's' backs. He really didn't like anyone to feel bad or sad and was already thinking of a way to apologize, but since they didn't ask for anything else Vanitas didn't approach them again.

Only later Ventus saw him moving away from there, across the street and towards the square. Without delay, the black-haired boy sat down on one of the wooden benches, took a pack of cigarettes from his trouser pocket and placed one in his mouth, lighting it. He then plugged headphones on his cell phone and listened to music while apparently reading something on the device.

The younger blond watched him for a few seconds without realizing it. Vanitas always looked so discouraged or irritated. Bored. Sometimes even sad. He didn't know why that mattered since they didn't even talk to each other, but there was something on the older male that caught his attention. He was probably on his lunch break or else he'd have gone home. Of course, if he did really live by himself there was no need to hurry anyway... Ven started to think about that when Roxas called him.

"Ven?"

"Hm?" The three were staring at him "What is it?"

"Why are you so interested in that guy? He's not a good thing! If you stare too much, he might want to pick up a fight with you!"

"I... Don't know" Ventus scratched his head "It's just that he doesn't talk to anybody, but he looked alright when we played Prison Ball. And well, he doesn't seem interested in classes but there's nothing wrong with him"

Roxas crossed his arms "He just wanted to win the match. Of course he'd look alright!"

Ventus shrugged, unsure of what to say; Roxas was probably still mad because of their first day at school so he said nothing more. Just before they left they got their popsicles and paid what they owned and began to make their way back when Ventus stopped. He really wanted to apologize for what he had said.

"Wait a minute!" He said before quickly crossing the street and going after Vanitas. Roxas frowned, staring at him. The other two boys watched in silence.

"Hey! Ahn... " The blond started. Vanitas had just lit another cigarette when he looked up and saw the boy in front of him.

"Hm?" He mumbled without interest "What?"

Ventus took a deep breath. He probably sounded ridiculous right now "Well, I... Sorry for what I said back there!"

Vanitas raised an eyebrow, letting himself relax over the bench while looking at the boy. He blew out the smoke not taking his eyes off Ventus and remained silent seemingly expecting him to say something else.

"I was just... Thinking about it. It just came to my head-" He stopped talking when he saw Vanitas smile.

"Ah. That" He tapped lightly on the cigarette to get rid of the ashes "Relax, kiddo"

And he said nothing else. More embarrassed than before, Ventus nodded without knowing why and went back to join the others again. He turned around to say goodbye but Vanitas no longer looked at him, entertained by his cellphone. When he was by his brother's side, Roxas shook his head in disbelief.

"You're too good for your own sake, Ven"

They resumed their walk and Roxas took a glance back to see if the other was still there. Vanitas watched them from the distance.


	5. Chapter 5

"If I roll a six-sided dice what is the probability of getting an even number?"

Math. It was the third class of the semester and things already sounded way more complicated than they'd like them to. Ven didn't know the answer and put his hands over his head, numbers floating before his eyes.

"Damnit" He thought "The year barely began and I don't understand a thing!"

Well, he could always ask Roxas for help. Trying to convince himself of that, he focused a little bit more and turned his attention to the teacher. Bad idea.

"You there! What's your name again?" Luxord asked, pointing to him. Oh no.

"... Ventus, sir"

"Alright Ventus. Do you know the answer to this one?"

Answer to what again? Until now, nothing made sense to him. He stuttered "Ah, s-sorry teacher, I... Didn't understand the question"

Luxord smiled a little "Okay, let's try something else then. I have two six-sided dice. If I roll them at the same time over a table, what is the probability of their sum being equal to 5?"

Ventus felt like a crashing computer and stood right there, his brain twitching. Ugh. Was he so stupid that he didn't know something simple as that? Or was Luxord messing up with him?

Silence. The man looked at his students with patience "It's harder to answer when asked like this, uh? Worry not! Pay attention, I'll show you how to calculate this"

Ventus almost disintegrated over the table. Was that really needed? The boy sighed already wanting to give up that lesson when he heard someone giggling behind him. He turned around and realized it was Vanitas.

The older teen smiled at him and lifted his notebook. The number 1/9 was written on the center of the sheet. Ventus frowned.

"First..." The teacher continued "We have to know the number of ways we can get this sum of 5. In this example, we have 4 possible ways of adding values and getting this result, so keep 4 in mind. Now..."

Ventus lost the rest of the explanation. His mind drifted far away for some time as he realized he was bound to fail that lesson simply because it sounded too complicated to him and only regained his focus when the answer was already on the blackboard.

1/9.

He turned to Vanitas, receiving a grin of superiority in response. It wasn't fair. He had been there for two years! Certainly he had seen this same example several times by now. Why did Vanitas even show him the answer before anyway? Was it to mock the fact that he clearly didn't understand the subject?

Ventus looked to Luxord again, trying to pay attention. When a list of exercises was given, Roxas helped him to understand it and they ended up finishing them and waiting for the correction with plenty of time ahead. Vanitas had leaned over his desk and was apparently sleeping again.

From that day on Ventus unconsciously started to pay more attention to the black-haired boy. Maybe it was stupid to even think about it, but if he did understand the subject then why did he seem not to care? He rarely paid attention in class, always disinterested. Sometimes he scribbled something on his notebook or played games on his cell phone but not even once tried to hide what he was doing. The teachers also didn't really care except for Braig, who would always make jokes about him, and Aqua, who seemed really concerned about the teenager.

Watching him also gave Ventus a new perspective about who he was. He noticed how Vanitas would treat other people with equal disinterest, mocking them and staring as if he was better than anyone only to go back that his original unfazed state. He remembered what his brother said to him.

"Why are you so interested in that guy? He's not a good thing! You're too good for your own sake, Ven!"

In one occasion where a student bumped into him unintentionally Vanitas stared at her in such a way that frightened even those around him and, despite her apology, he kept on complaining and talking loudly about her inability to do things right. In another, he mocked a second-year student who was drawing, disrupting him and making him give up his work. More than once Vanitas made fun out of anyone he could and more than once humiliated younger students.

Despite how he treated others however there was dismay in the way he'd look to the twelfth graders. Perhaps he regretted failing two years and missed his colleagues... But it didn't appear to be that. No one spoke to him - unless it was to make fun of him - and it didn't look like he minded it anyway. Regardless of his motives though, if there was something Ventus utterly despised were people who would belittle others and, precisely because of that, he started to avoid the older boy.

Two weeks later however Ventus didn't hold back. First because as time passed it got more and more revolting to see him taking advantage of people like that. Second, because Vanitas decided to mess with one of his friends.

Ventus was coming out of the bathroom when he heard something fall. He glanced toward the noise and saw Ienzo sprawled on the floor, the three books he was carrying next to him. Most of the people laughed but Ventus didn't think twice and ran to him, offering help. It was when he noticed Vanitas there.

"Damn nerd!" He exclaimed "Not only you don't know how to move out of the way, you forgot how to properly walk?"

"Hey!" Ventus approached, helping Ienzo up "If you have nothing good to say then why don't you keep quiet?"

In that short time while looking at him, Ventus noticed a cut from his right eyebrow to his eye that was definitely not there the day before. He ignored that for the time being however and stared at him nervously. Vanitas rolled his eyes.

"And who called you here, kid?" The teen asked, crossing his arms. He looked even more irritated than usual.

"Ienzo is my friend! I won't let you treat him like that!"

"And what are you gonna do? Throw a tantrum? Or are you just pretending you're actually worth something, blondie?"

"Shut up!"

More students were approaching now, cautious. Truant officers were also getting close but that didn't stop Ven from speaking.

"Why are you so arrogant? Does that make you feel good?"

"I wasn't even talking to you. Why don't you go back to the classroom and complain about this to your big brother, uh? I'm sure he'll agree with me"

"Not having friends doesn't justify how you treat those who do!"

Vanitas was taken aback. He frowned and was about to say something when the place burst with exclamations and mockery against him. Ventus did not look away and Ienzo, grateful, stood beside him. All Vanitas could do was to stay there and listen to the people laughing at him, and while he didn't talk back he also didn't take his eyes off Ventus, who quickly regretted speaking like that.

"What is going on here?!" Someone asked aloud and everyone was silenced: It was Even. Not even the other teachers liked to mess with him. Seeing his son there and the books on the ground, he looked from Ienzo to Ventus and then to Vanitas, sparks coming out of his eyes.

"Nothing happened, dad!" Ienzo said promptly, fearing Ventus might get in trouble because of him "It's all settled now"

It was the cue Vanitas needed. He slightly lowered his head and left, heading for the classroom. Ventus didn't move, only watched him go, and soon everyone understood there was nothing else to see there and went back to mind their own business. Even approached Ienzo, demanding further explanations and reprimanded him for not paying attention to where he went. Ven stood close to give him some kind of support but the professor's gaze was frightening and he too slowly moved away.

Although there was an awkward feeling in the classroom nothing else happened after that. Before going home, Ventus glanced at Vanitas one last time paying more attention to the cut over his eye. The older boy wouldn't say anything else for a while, simply thinking to himself in silence. What was wrong with that guy?


	6. Chapter 6

"I heard a pipsqueak made fun of you yesterday"

Vanitas expected that. Whatever happened at school was soon quickly known by every student from every class. It was just a matter of time before his ex-colleague, Max, talked to him about what happened during their break between classes. They were waiting in line for their school lunch when he approached and started talking.

"Sarah told me. In fact, she told everybody. I was actually wondering when it would happen again" Vanitas barely looked at him, trying to ignore the boy "You never change, do you? Always throwing all of your chances down the trash as usual"

They took a step forward as the line moved. Despite the silence Max saw a well known rage reflected on Vanitas' eyes.

"How long do you plan on staying here? 6 years? Maybe even more? You do enjoy being belittled, don't you, Vani? You like that sick and stupid pride of yours!"

"Are you done?" Asked Vanitas, losing his patience. It was when Max finally saw the cut over his eyebrow, still healing.

"Don't tell me-" Max rolled his eyes "Vani, Vani... I wonder how long it'll take before you snap again. Don't you think about that?"

Vanitas took a deep breath, trying to stay calm "No. But I wouldn't want to be around when that happens if I were you" He replied, picking up his plate and leaving. That would go on for a few more days before it actually happened.

* * *

After that day Ienzo and Ventus became very good friends. Ienzo was grateful to Ventus for what he had done and wanted to be able to help him whenever he could too. Although he did not need anything in return Ven was happy about it.

However, when he remembered Vanitas's reaction to his words he felt uncomfortable. Despite the anger Ventus felt towards the boy, he felt that he had hit a wound. The silence that followed only served to reinforce this and he avoided remembering that, but it was difficult to do so sitting next to the raven every day.

Three weeks later there were Sora, Roxas, Ventus and Ienzo together again reviewing their seminar for the last time. Ven was nervous with anticipation, while Roxas kept calm as long as he had something - like slides, for example - to guide him. Sora was so laid back that he didn't need notes or pictures to keep himself on track, although he avoided any technical terms, speaking freely and informally about the subject. Finally, Ienzo was fully prepared to lecture on any of the subjects they asked for and spoke calmly, patiently, and not afraid to reformulate his explanation if needed.

The total of formed groups was seven and the first one (Formed by Riku, Kairi, Namine and Tidus) was already presenting. They would be the next.

Ventus felt so desperate he refused to look around, not taking his eyes off the summary he made for himself. He took a deep breath, trying not to think about anything before the presentation but, when he thought he would actually relax a little, he heard his colleagues clapping. The other group had already finished.

"Very well. The next ones may come to the front now" The teacher said while making his notes "Riku, you still owe me the written content"

Roxas stood up with the report in his hands and Ventus followed him, tense and trying to remember what he was supposed to say in those last seconds before the presentation. While Sora prepared the slides, Ventus approached Ienzo and took another deep breath.

"Relax, Ven. You know the subject, that's what matters!" Said his friend calmly. He nodded and waited.

"You were tasked with the subject 'Cell' " Marluxia said aloud "You may start"

Sora was the first to speak. He introduced their group and proceeded to explain some slides and talk about the outer layer of the cell and its basic transportation functions. Marluxia interrupted him a few times to ask questions, but he answered them without problems. Roxas went on, explaining about the organelles and then it was up to Ven to complement his part.

"So, ahn..." He started, pointing to the image of the organelles he was supposed to talk about "Uh, there are two kinds of endoplasmic reticulum"

Everyone stared to him, some paying attention and others not much, but regardless of how they were he felt his legs wobble slightly "It can be rough or smooth. They have different functions... The rough does... Synthesizes proteins, it is also called ergastoplasm from the Greek, and it sends the proteins to the outside of the cell while the smooth synthesizes fat and transports substances and it is formed by-"

"Ventus" He stopped talking. It was Marluxia "Speak a little slower"

"Y-Yes, sir," said Ven, trying to calm down. Though he was still nervous, the rest of the presentation went smoothly and Ienzo, of course, explained everything clearly. Finally, they finished it and returned to their seats.

"The next group can come to the front!" The teacher said again. Ventus smiled to his friends, relieved. Now he could actually pay attention to the other presentations.

During their break Ienzo gave Ventus some tips to avoid nervousness while speaking like that. It was easier said than done of course, but he accepted the advice. The four of them spent most of their time relaxing, talking about random stuff and their school life. It was only a few minutes before they returned to the classroom when they noticed a commotion on the other side of the schoolyard and looked.

The younger ones were getting away in a rush, scared. From a distance it was possible to see one student lying on the floor and another standing beside him, his fists clenched. For a split second the four of them were confused but they soon recognized who was standing.

Vanitas bent down and lifted Max by the collar, ignoring the bustle around him. "Who do you think you are to say that?!" He shouted before striking another punch against the boy's face and throwing him to the ground again. Max's colleagues came to his aid without thinking twice before defending their friend and two of them faced Vanitas while the others took care of pulling Max away from him. They were still able to swap a few punches before the school monitors finally caught up and separated the boys.

"Enough!" Xaldin exclaimed, holding Vanitas by his arms while his fellow work colleagues pushed the other students away. The three cursed loudly, rebuked in vain by the adults, and the uproar was so much that some teachers came to check what was happening. The vice-principal approached.

"What is going on here?! Xaldin!" Eraqus exclaimed, hoping the man would explain what was happening, but the students themselves did it for him.

"Vanitas, Mr. Eraqus! He hurt Max for no reason at all!" One of the students shouted and pointed at Vanitas who gnashed his teeth, enraged.

"It's okay, principal-" It was Max, leaning on the colleague who had helped him stand up "We all know what he's like"

"You son of a bitch!" Vanitas screamed, trying to free himself but unable to do so. Eraqus took the lead, standing between the students and staring at them. His authority was well respected there and even with the rage burning in their skin they all went silent.

"All of you, I want you to come with me to the principal's office! Should you do anything stupid you will suffer double the consequences!"

The school monitors released the students ready to intervene if necessary, but it was not. Everyone followed Eraqus silently, watched by those in the courtyard.

Max glanced at his friends, who looked at Vanitas. The black-haired teen did not look back, though he knew he was being watched, and walked in silence next to the vice-principal. Behind them, the silence was only broken by the bell warning the end of the break.

* * *

The students felt kind of weird after that, more so because everyone wanted to understand what had happened without being able to do it. Ventus did not say anything for the rest of the day, thoughtful. Vanitas had attacked the other boy without thinking twice... If he had done the same to him the other day he certainly wouldn't be feeling well right now.

When classes were over the four friends went together to the exit. They spoke little about what happened during the break, but everyone wanted to know whatever they could about it and they were surprised when they saw the students who were involved in the fight in front of the school, talking to each other. Had they been speaking to the principal all this time?

A few seconds later and they noticed a man they had never seen before coming out of the school. He was bald and appeared to be much older than the principal or vice-principal, walking slowly and with his hands behind his back. What was strange, however, was not him; it was the fact that Vanitas walked behind him, his head low.

Ventus did not remember seeing him that way before. He was staring at the floor, his hands in the pockets of his pants, and he looked annoyed but there was something else... Ven could not tell what it was.

"What a shame..." He and Roxas heard the man say without looking at Vanitas"Will you never stop shaming your father? What do I have to do for you to stop smearing my name?!"

"Mr. Xehanort" Max called out, showing seriousness "Please, do not blame Vanitas for what happened. Certainly he is not having a good day"

"He never is" The man replied nervous and walked on, Vanitas following. Only when Xehanort and his son were away was that Max and his friends started to laugh and mock the black-haired teen. Roxas pulled Ventus closer to him, not liking that attitude and also afraid after everything else.

On that day none of them said anything about what had happened.


	7. Chapter 7

The school classes went on and just like everything that happened there the fight was soon left behind. Even though Max returned the next day (And spoke of how Vanitas had freaked out for no reason at all) not even his classmates talked much about it.

Vanitas and the other involved teenagers were suspended for one week. No one knew the reasons behind the fight and the 9th graders wanted to keep speculating, but stopped when they were scolded by Terra.

"What happened and anything related to it is to be known and discussed only by the principal and the ones involved. I hope you won't act childishly by talking about it all the time!"

That way the following week went by before they could even take notice. More schoolwork was given and the teachers were already setting their test dates. Their lessons got harder and anyone who missed classes was sure to have a hard time in the future.

Another week later the suspended students returned except for Vanitas. After two weeks some wondered if he had left school. Ventus sometimes imagined what could've happened; the sight of him leaving while staring to his own feet didn't match the impression he had of him and Ven therefore thought about it often. It didn't help that when he went again to the ice cream shop he didn't see him there either. People had already accepted he had left for good and it was then that he returned.

It was Tuesday. No one noticed him at first because he was wearing a sweatshirt with its hood up, what was weird considering how hot it was. Demyx said nothing about it but Ventus couldn't keep himself from looking.

Vanitas was downcast. There were deep dark circles under his eyes and the lack of any light in them was observable. Incredible as it may seem, he looked even more bored for being there. Their class had already begun but Ven couldn't hold himself.

"Hey..." He called, but Vanitas didn't look at him. He stared ahead, impatiently tapping the desk with his fingers.

"Ven" Roxas called and shook his head. It was better to leave him alone.

After their break Vanitas took longer to return to the classroom and, when he did, sat on his desk with clenched teeth. Terra didn't mind him wearing the hood, but Xemnas wouldn't let that go so easily.

"Why are you so depressed in your loneliness?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow "If you've got nothing to hide I ask you to comport yourself during my classes"

"I'm not doing anything" Vanitas said in a relatively loud voice.

"Of course you're not. Take off your hood!"

"Professor! I think... That wouldn't be necessary" Xion said suddenly while the other students barely moved, not knowing how to react. Some of her friends agreed in silence but Xemnas didn't seem to care.

"When you're a teacher yourself then you may set your own rules, miss"

The teenagers looked at each other outraged. Wasn't Braig alone irritating enough? Ven tried to say something but Vanitas got up before he did, holding his backpack and going to the door. The teacher reacted.

"Who gave you the permission to leave?"

"Give me a break" Was all he said, leaving in a fast pace.

During that entire first week Vanitas would arrive late after their lunch break. The 9th graders soon began to ponder about what could be happening and some said he would enter the bathroom alone after the bell rang. No one said anything about it to the principal, afraid they'd be acting just like Terra told them not to, but something was clearly wrong. Everyone agreed that it would be better if one of the teachers spoke to him and, as if answering their prayers, it was Aqua who did it.

They were on the first History class of the day. Ventus had just started answering some questions they were assigned and saw the older boy lay his head over the desk once again. Hesitant, Ventus called him and not receiving a reply, poked him in the arm.

"H... Hey" Vanitas barely lifted his head, only enough to confirm that one of the twins had called him "Are... Are you okay?"

The raven narrowed his eyes and grumbled "Don't you have anything better to do?"

Ven ignored him "I think that... If you're not feeling well, you should talk to the teacher. She might be able to help you"

Vanitas rolled his eyes, looking away and laying his head over the desk once more, not knowing Aqua was watching them while helping other students with their lessons. Ventus stood quiet for a few seconds before speaking again.

"I... I am sorry about what I said that day. I was mean and even unfair to you" Vanitas looked at him "But what you did wasn't nice either!"

The other lifted an eyebrow "You think I care about what you think?"

"Why are you so harsh?" Ven's question made Roxas take his eyes off his notebook and look at them.

"Ven..." He started, but his brother continued.

"No one here treated you bad, you know. And... And everyone's worried! There's not reason for you to-"

"I don't give a damn" He replied between teeth, loud enough for more people to hear it "I didn't ask for anyone to worry"

"How-" Roxas put a hand over Ventus' shoulder, making him stop.

"Ven, he doesn't want to be bothered. Let him go"

"You should listen to your brother more often" Said Vanitas, laughing unwillingly "At least he seems to have a bit of common sense"

The younger blond still tried to say something but couldn't think of anything else and returned to his assignment. How could someone be like that? Why be so proud?

A little while later, the bell for the lunch break rang and the students left slowly. It was then that Aqua walked to the back of the classroom, sitting on the desk in front of Vanitas. Ven approached Ienzo and, curious, pretended to be reading his notebook so he could hear them.

"Vanitas" The teacher started with care "It's been a while since you've talked to me"

He didn't answer, crossing his arms and staring down. Aqua sighed, comprehensive and continued.

"How are things at home?" She asked, making Ventus pay more attention.

"Amazing" It was the only thing he said, now staring at her. The woman stared back to him with compassion, making him lower his head again "Same as usual"

"And are you calmer now after what happened a few days ago?"

Vanitas cleared his throat "With all due respect, professor, I don't need your pity"

"No, but you might need my attention"

Ventus looked at them no longer pretending to do something else. Ienzo started to walk towards the door hoping that Ven would follow him but he didn't.

"I thank you for you patience" Vanitas said with irony and got up "But no, thanks. I'm fine"

Aqua wasn't bothered by the way he acted. She knew him for two years and during all this time had seen his ups and downs. She had never managed to get anywhere with him but she wouldn't give up now. The woman also got up and, without warning, put her hand on his shoulder to show him support even if he didn't want it.

On that touch she saw him contract his arm a little. Although worried, Aqua thought best to talk to him about it in another moment and simply let him leave. He walked past Ventus ("Get out of the way") and left.

The teacher took a deep breath and looked to Ven "Hard, isn't it?"

He expected to be scolded for staying there so he found it odd when she spoke in that tone of voice. Seeing that Ienzo was waiting for him outside of the classroom, Ventus approached her.

"Why is he so like... That?" He asked, showing more worry than curiosity. She shook her head.

"It's... Hard to say. He avoids talking about it with anyone, but I know it bothers him"

"He acted kinda different with his father around" Ventus said in a low tone, realizing he was probably intruding into Vanitas' privacy, but his teacher didn't reprimand him. On the contrary, she smiled at him.

"You are Ventus, right? I saw you talking to him during the lesson" She went to her own desk, getting her stuff so she could go.

"Ah... I tried, I guess" He shrugged "But I don't think he cares"

"Well, among everyone else in the class, you tried. That really makes a difference"

She smiled once more and Ventus did the same, nodding. He then walked to the hall next to her before joining Ienzo again.


	8. Chapter 8

After what Aqua told Ventus he wondered if he should try to approach Vanitas or not. Ventus hated to be or to feel alone and it was sad to imagine how it would be if he didn't have any friends to share his feelings with.

He wanted to talk to Roxas about that but his brother wouldn't like his will to speak to the raven boy and, knowing that, he talked to Ienzo instead. Ventus knew Vanitas had mocked him before and that made it even harder to talk about that matter with him, but Ienzo didn't take it personally. On the contrary.

"I admire your worry and, well, if you think it's worth trying to find out what's happening, then go ahead. Just, well, know when to stop; we know he's pretty unpredictable".

Two days later, on wednesday, once again Vanitas went to the bathroom as soon as their lunch break was over. When Ventus thought he'd finally gather up the courage to go and see what was going on Roxas talked to him.

"Ventus, I already told you to forget that guy" He crossed his arms. Sora walked right beside him.

"I'm not doing anything, Rox! Can't I even look anymore?"

"You're not simply looking, you're watching him! I understand that you'd like to do something but you can't. Even his former classmates stay away from him. I don't want you to get in any trouble, Ven"

Ventus didn't reply unsure about what to do and Sora kept quiet, not wanting to get involved. The older twin sighed and gave a caring pat on his brother's back "Come on, let's go. You know how Luxord hates delays"

The three then returned to the classroom. Ven was thoughtful, constantly considering to go back. Sora didn't know what to do and did not like when his two friends disagreed like this. They had just turned left when someone called them.

"Good morning! Excuse me!"

They turned around. The person who had called was a man a little older than them (A 21 years old to be precise), hair as red as flames and eyes of a shiny green, who seemed to be in a hurry and carried a folder with him. He smiled at the boys.

"Do you guys have classes with Professor Saix? You wouldn't know where he is right now, would you? I forgot to ask the principal as I came here" He apologized, laughing at himself. Sora thought about it.

"Hmm... I think that on wednesdays he lectures another class of 9th graders" Ventus agreed.

"Yeah, it's next to our classroom! Come with us, we'll take you there. Ah, and I'm Ventus, but you can call me Ven!" Said the blond, friendly as usual. The young man did the same.

"Nice to meet you, Ven. I'm Axel. You two are?" He asked, already walking next to them.

"I'm Sora!" Said the boy, waiting for Roxas to say something but he didn't say a word "Rox?"

He was staring to the man who had just arrived with a hard to read expression on his face. He looked as if in a trance and blinked many times before finally speaking.

"Ahh- I, I am-" He cleared his throat "I'm Roxas. Nice to meet you"

Axel nodded "Cool! You're twins, right? I also have twins in my class, I find it awesome" They still talked about one thing or another before they got to their destination and Axel saw Saix exactly where they said he would be, waiting for his students to enter the classroom before doing the same.

"This is my cue, guys. Thanks for the help!" He said, waving quickly and walking to the teacher. They seemed to be friends for Saix greeted him with a wide smile. The boys didn't have time to watch them for long, though; Luxord was already inside so they got in and went to their respective desks. Ventus looked to his brother.

"Roxas, are you okay?" He asked. He looked a little bit off somehow but replied anyway.

"Yes"

What a rather curt reply, Ven thought. He turned to the front, confused by his brother's reaction... And then saw the empty desk next to him.

He'd hardly have another chance like this one again, seeing as his brother was so quiet out of a sudden. He then got up, walking up to Luxord.

"Professor, I- I forgot something outside! I'll be right back!" And without waiting for an answer left the classroom in a hurry.

The schoolyard was empty as expected. There was a school monitor to the extreme left, but he wasn't looking at him so Ventus took the opportunity and walked to the bathroom in silence, skulking next to the wall and looking inside.

Vanitas was standing up with his hands over the sink. He had taken his sweatshirt and put it over his left shoulder, now only wearing a thin and black tank top. His right forearm was wounded with what looked like cuts, although they were already healing. He was washing that spot and, by the way he did it, was lost to his own thoughts. Ventus watched him for a few seconds before shifting his gaze to his right shoulder and widening his eyes.

There the wound looked deeper. He remembered how Vanitas had contracted his arms with Aqua's touch and when he saw his skin like that Ven understood he did it due to pain. Had he come there everyday to clean his skin? Why not do that in his house? Without realizing, Ventus took a step forward.

"Ahn..."

Vanitas jumped, startled by him and turned around while desperately trying to cover his forearm with the sweatshirt, but it was too late.

"You-" He started, clenching his fists. Shit; he hadn't even heard the boy!

Ven didn't move. He did not know what to expect nor what to do. What would happen now? Was Vanitas going to scream at him? To beat him, perhaps? He was certainly gonna be sorry for being there but didn't consider running. Instead he stood in place and swallowed; Vanitas looked as surprised as him.

"Y... You're hurt" He Ven. Vanitas pulled himself together and spoke cynically.

"Wow, I wouldn't know if you didn't say it. Want a reward?"

"How were you... Going to clean your shoulder?" Ventus got closer, to Vanitas' disgust "You came here everyday to take care of those cuts yourself? Why didn't you ask for help?"

Vanitas sighed irritated. The boy had barely arrived and already talked a blue streak! By the heavens, what did he want?

"You really do like intruding in other people's lives, don't you, brat?" He put his sweatshirt over his right shoulder now so Ventus wouldn't be able to look at the wounds. Contrary to what he expected the boy to do, though, he didn't look at him scared but rather... Worried? Vanitas ignored that and continued "You'll go back to the classroom, pretend you never saw me here and never ever talk about this with anybody! Do you understand or do you want me to write it down?"

"Why are you doing this here and not at home? You can hurt yourself even more if you don't clean this up correctly!" Was the blond's response. Vanitas narrowed his eyes, approached him and put a hand over his head. Ventus closed his eyes afraid he was gonna get beaten but Vanitas didn't do anything.

"Hey, are you even listening to what I'm saying?!" He expected any reaction but not that one. If Ventus continued to talk like that, he would end up calling someone else's attention. The younger boy lowered his head.

"You... Shouldn't hide it like that. If you wear heavy clothes over it, it'll make it worse!"

Vanitas grumbled with impatience. Why didn't he shut up?

"Ventus, pay attention-"

"I won't tell anyone! But staying like that won't help you heal, Vanitas!"

The black-haired teen took a deep breath, rolling his eyes and washing his arm again "You're wasting your time here. Won't your brother miss you?"

Ventus ignored this and got closer. All he was doing was to wash over the skin, not actually paying attention to what he was doing!

"Turn your back to me" Ventus said.

Vanitas faced him "What the hell is your problem? You should be thankful I haven't punched you yet!"

"Turn your back to me! I'll clean this up for you!"

"You won't do anything other than shut the hell up! You're getting on my nerves!"

"I'm the only one who knows about this!" Protested Ventus. He shouldn't get involved, he knew it, but it was unacceptable for Vanitas to act like that when all he wanted to do was to help! Something inside him said that the only chance he would ever get to understand the older boy was there and he wouldn't let it go now "I can tell everyone if I want to!"

For a few seconds Vanitas looked at him with no discernible expression in his eyes. The blond boy felt his heart pounding fast against his chest; he had probably gotten into trouble with this but there was no turning back now.

When Vanitas started to laugh, though, the brave expression Ventus put was gone.

"And why would I care about that? Did you really think it could be as important to make me yield to a request from you? I don't want anyone to see this simply because I don't, not because it would change my life if it happened! Now why don't you fuck off and leave me, eh?"

Ventus felt his face burn with shame. That's what you get for crossing the line, he thought to himself. Idiot; he wanted to help Vanitas, not force him to something he didn't want. He was so impatient about it though that he didn't control himself. Now he would return to the classroom and have to endure not only Roxas' gaze of disapproval but also Vanitas', who would mock him for the entire year!

Regretful enough, Ventus lowered his gaze and walked to the door. Even if he didn't want to he had to return. He had barely turned around, however, when he heard Vanitas speak.

"If..." Ven looked at him "If even after this you tell someone, I'll make you regret it"

Vanitas muttered something. That brat; it was already the second time he had gained the upper hand. Of course, to leave his wounds exposed like that was the last thing he wanted to do. If someone knew about what had happened-

He crossed his arms somewhat tense and with that Ventus saw in him a little of the same Vanitas who walked next to his father in silence. Ventus then went to the door to make sure no one was coming, saw that the monitor had moved farther away and, hesitant, went back to Vanitas' side.

The cuts over his shoulder weren't the only ones he had; there were many other scars and markings over his back and he wondered if there were more hidden under his tank top. He tensed up thinking about it but tried not to express concern about that now.

With nothing there to help him Ventus got himself a long piece of toilet paper and wet it a little, now looking at Vanitas's scarred skin. It looked pretty bad due to the humidity and was also apparently inflamed. Ventus bit his lips and, with utmost care, cleaned the area surrounding it with the paper. He felt and saw the older teen's muscles contract, but Vanitas didn't say a word.

"Why... Why don't you do this at home?" Ventus asked, attentive while getting himself another piece of paper. He remembered when they saw him working at the ice cream shop and he said he lived alone. Was he saying the truth?

Ventus stopped thinking when he saw something in the most swollen area. There was an specific cut with something buried into the skin. Ventus stared at it for a few seconds... It looked like glass. Tense, Ventus wondered if he could pull it, but feared it would make it bleed and get worse. He touched the surrounding area with the paper to see if it would come out easily and that was when Vanitas moaned in pain for the first time, taking a step forward and looking at him.

"Fuck, what do you think you're doing?"

"S-Sorry.. B-but there's something in your skin, it's probably what's causing the inflammation"

Vanitas raised an eyebrow "And how will you take it out, with your nails?"

"I'm not sure pulling it out like this is a good idea... It can make things worse, you see"

"Can you pull it with your nails?"

"I don't know, I'm afraid I'll end up-"

"Try it!" He insisted, assuming his former position again. Ven breathed deeply, washing his hands and focusing on what he was about to do. Vanitas closed his eyes, holding in the pain and waited until Ventus managed to do it. It took longer than he expected but with patience he eventually pulled it out, throwing it in the thrash. While he cleaned up the area once more, he resumed speaking.

"I can't do much with only toilet paper and water. We need to disinfect it. If you come here tomorrow again, I can bring something to help you out. But..." He washed his hands again and Vanitas sighed relieved, now looking at his reflection in the mirror "Vanitas, why didn't you go to the hospital to see that? Or asked someone for help?"

"That's none of your concern" He replied, not angry but indifferent, and put his sweatshirt again. Ventus widened his eyes.

"What are you doing? You need to stop covering the-"

"I'll do that at home"

Vanitas walked to the door and Ventus stood there not doing anything; he was angry because of Vanitas' coldness and only got out of his trance when he was called.

"Are you staying? Come on! If someone asks why you took so long, just tell them I forced you to stay here"

Confused, Ventus nodded and quickly went to the raven teenager, walking by his side until they got to the classroom. When they arrived, Luxord smiled and all the students looked at them at once. Ventus went red and stood behind Vanitas until he got to his desk, Roxas's gaze making him want to leave again.

"Oh..." Luxord laughed playfully "So that's what you forgot, Ventus?"

Ven blushed desperately, staring at his own hands over the desk and didn't say another word until it was time to leave.


	9. Chapter 9

Ventus woke up earlier the following day. As careful and silent as he could be, the youngest of the twins got up and left his bed, going to the bathroom with an empty paper bag in hand.

His family had always kept first aid kits around. The twins got hurt so very often when they were little that they used it almost every week. What he was going to get, however, was not for him neither for Roxas.

Ventus put an ointment, antibiotics and a sterile gauze compress in the bag. He also added an antibacterial soap along with some elastic bandage. Perhaps he was exaggerating, but he'd rather guarantee Vanitas had everything if he needed.

The boy went back into his bedroom, put the bag inside his backpack and lay on the bed once again. Roxas had not even moved which was good since he'd probably ask what those were for. Of course he would end up finding out anyway, but Ven would like to postpone being reprimanded for a while longer. His disapproving gaze the day before had been more than enough.

The youngest blonde soon fell asleep again while staring at the ceiling, although feeling a little aprehensive about the day that awaited him. He was relieved for not being punched in the bathroom, but there was no denying he might suffer the consequences later. However, Vanitas did offer to help him if someone questioned his absence... Perhaps that was his way of being thankful?

At 6 o' clock, his alarm went off. Roxas, always on time, got up stretching and yawning and called his brother, going down the stairs and into the kitchen. Following their routine, the twins had breakfast together, picked up their stuff and left for school.

They didn't share any words on their way to school to Ventus's surprise. He tried to start a conversation but Roxas was apparently mad so he didn't insist on it. Was all that stress because he had arrived late for class one single day? He did understand his anger at the moment, but now?

As they reached the school's block Ventus saw Vanitas around the corner, his back against the wall while he smoked without paying attention to anything else. He was once again wearing his sweatshirt although its hood wasn't up, what was enough to surprise the younger blonde. Ventus had merely looked at him for a second though and Roxas grumbled next to him.

Perhaps arriving late yesterday hadn't exactly been the problem.

"They said Larxene likes to apply surprise tests... I wonder if she does that to ninth graders as well?" Spoke Ventus awkwardly.

"I don't know" Replied Roxas, seeing Sora in the distance and waving at him. Ventus sighed and say nothing else until classes were over.

On thursdays they had English Classes. Larxene was so inconsiderate and irritating though that not even Ienzo, the best student, liked her lessons. As soon as Aqua entered the classroom, however, everyone cheered up and forgot the boring classes they had just had.

Ven considered talking to her about what had happened and what he knew, but thought better. The two hadn't been seen and, no matter what people imagined that had happened there, he had agreed in not tellling anyone.

Vanitas was scribbling something in his notebook, sleepy. He now wore the hood up and was silent, not staring at anything besides the paper sheet, what made it harder for Ventus to talk to him directly. He'd do it during the break.

"Pay attention, everyone!" Said Aqua "In two weeks we'll have our first test of the semester. I suggest you start studying as soon as possible; we'll focus on ancient civilizations and the major differences between them. Every question will be dissertative"

The students sighed. As soon as one teacher set their test date, all of the others were bound to do it as well. After a comment or two, Aqua continued her lesson with no problems.

When class was over and the bell rang, Ventus waited a few seconds before he looked to Vanitas. He found it kind of weird that he was still there, since the raven was usually one of the first students to leave for break.

Roxas got up "Let's go, Ven" He called, waiting for him. Discouraged, Ventus stood up slowly and was following his brother when he heard Aqua call his name.

"Ventus... May I talk to you for a second?" The twins turned around "It won't take too long"

"Ahn... Sure" The boy approached her, asking his brother to go ahead while he waited next to Aqua. She took a look to the back of the classroom.

"Vanitas? Are you staying here today?"

"Yes, ma'am" He answered, laying his head over the desk. It was not uncommon to let students stay inside during their breaks, but Ventus wondered why he wanted to stay inside today.

"Would you walk with me?" Asked the woman and Ven did it, helping her with her books to the staffroom.

"Is something wrong, professor?"

"Today in the morning professor Luxord spoke of something that happened during his class... " Ventus froze "He said you left the classroom right after returning from break and only came back thirty minutes later along with Vanitas. Is this true?"

Why would Luxord talk about that? Did the teachers share their thoughts about their students during breakfast? He looked away; they obviously did. Everyone needed to know how things were during classes, but to talk about that...

"Yes, professor..."

"There's no need to feel nervous" She smiled to him with care "He just found it odd. You're a very good student, Ventus and, well... Everyone knows how Vanitas is"

"I'm sorry... It won't happen again!"

"That's not it" Aqua laughed a little, Ventus blushing "I just wanted to know if you got to talk to him. You said you had tried before... So I imagined you did the same yesterday?"

"Well, I was... Worried. He was taking long to return to the classroom every day, I wanted to know if there was something wrong"

"And was there?"

Ventus thought for a few seconds. He wanted to tell her everything. To say how Vanitas had reacted and talk about the many markings and scars he had on his back... But he couldn't. He couldn't because he had given his word that he wouldn't. It did not matter if Vanitas didn't care about him at all; he wouldn't break his promise.

"No... I think he just... Likes to flee from classes, really" He laughed unwillingly "We talked a little bit, but he didn't tell me anything"

The woman remained silent, looking to him. It was clear that Ventus was hiding something, but she wouldn't force it out of him like that.

"I see... Well, it was worth a try, right?" Her smile was comforting. It was at that moment that the boy realized he could trust in her more than in anyone else. The student nodded, relieved.

"You're a good boy, Ventus. Count on me for anything you need, alright?" She gave him a thumbs up, making him smile. He then thanked her, taking his leave and walking to the schoolyard alone.

Ventus waited the entire break sitting next to Ienzo, but Vanitas didn't leave the classroom. A bad feeling sat on his stomach; was that because of him? Perhaps the older boy was trying to avoid him and decided not to leave today. Ven only wanted to help but maybe he had done it the wrong way. Depressed, he waited for the bell to ring and returned to class.

When it was time to leave, Vanitas was the first to get up and go. Ven watched him walk away without looking back and that bad sensation from before became even worse. Once outside, the blonde couldn't avoid to at least look for him once again and since Roxas was chating excitedly with Sora he didn't pay attention to that. Ven was about to give up when he saw him in the same spot as earlier, smoking in silence. He didn't look at the three boys when they walked by.

It was hard to do it, but Ventus turned around and went to talk to him.

"Ven, where-" Began Sora but stopped when Roxas realized what his brother was doing.

Vanitas only realized the boy was there when he was right in front of him. He took the cigarette in his hand and stared at him.

"Vanitas...!" Started Ven. The older boy merely looked at him with no expression "I-"

Silence. Why was he feeling so nervous?

"You" Said Vanitas, crossing his arms. Ventus tensed up but finally managed to open his backpack and take the paper bag out of it.

"Here!" He held the bag before him, hoping Vanitas wouldn't leave him waiting like an idiot "Y-You... Use this!"

The black-haired teen blinked a few times not understanding, but he couldn't deny his curiosity so he picked the bag and opened it with no idea of what was inside. When he saw its content, Vanitas widened his eyes and turned to the boy.

"You have... To clean it with a lot of soap and then use the ointment" Continued Ventus, staring to the floor "The gauze will... Will help. You should also make a dressing on your shoulder so you can use a shirt, it'll make you feel better too"

Vanitas didn't speak. What did this boy want and why was he so bent on playing the good fellow this way? What was in it for him?!

"There's some elastic bandage as well, you can use on your arm if needed. And..." Ventus finally lifted his head and looked him straight into his eyes "I'm sorry for yesterday"

Once again that awkward silence. Vanitas waited, wanting to understand the reason behind all of that, but Ventus said nothing more and went back to Roxas' side, his head low and face red. Sora didn't say anything and even Roxas remained silent, but he knew Ventus was troubled and put a hand over his shoulder to show him support.

Vanitas watched them walk until they could no longer be seen. He didn't get it; he had given zero motives for the boy to be good to him. What left him even more confused, however, wasn't the simple fact that Ventus had given him those things.

No. What left him confused was that he felt sadness in the boy's voice.


	10. Chapter 10

"Ahhhhhh" Sora sat on the floor at the center of the sports courts, his leg aching "It's no use!"

"Come on, Sora. Giving up already?" Said Riku playfully and walked to him. On that day the teacher Aeleus let their physical education class free. Since the students could choose what to do then, Sora challenged Riku to a race but was losing from 5 to 0. Kairi was watching and tried to cheer him up.

"You can do it! You're almost there!"

"Of course I can!" He took a deep breath "You can't win forever, Riku!"

"Wanna bet?" The silver haired boy smiled and, once more, they went to the other side of the sports court to start yet another race. Most students were playing volleyball together while the others simply chatted and waited for the time to pass.

Ienzo and Ventus were sitting on the stairs a few meters from there. Ienzo was studying for History's test and Ventus listened to music on his cellphone. They spent most of their time in silence before Ienzo tried to start a conversation.

"So, Ven..." Ventus stopped the music player, looking to his friend "You haven't told me yet"

"Told you what?"

"About wednesday... What actually happened between you and Vanitas?"

Ventus's cheeks turned red and he stuttered "W-What do you mean what happened? Nothing happened, Ien!"

Ienzo raised an eyebrow, calm "Ah, well... You took long to come back. I thought you'd finally managed to talk to him"

The blonde nodded in agreement, momentarily wondering why he had blushed so much. Ienzo meant nothing by that and here he was, dying of embarassment.

"He... Doesn't talk much. But he didn't do anything to me either"

"That's good" Ienzo finished reading another page of his book "Also Ven, you shouldn't think too much about that. You looked way too nervous when you returned to the classroom that day"

"Yeah, well, Roxas looked as if about to kill me... And everyone kept staring-"

"Tch. Don't mind them" Said his friend, turning his attention to the book once again. Ventus said nothing more, waiting for a few minutes before listening to music again.

The boys stood there until class was over. After that, they had two extremely interesting lessons with Marluxia while studying about the reproduction of plant cells. At last, lessons with Saix.

No one really enjoyed his classes much, but their expectation for the weekend made the students handle it with more ease. The youngest of the blondes walked to his desk, took a quick glance at Vanitas an-

He widened his eyes. Vanitas had rolled up his right sleeve and now looked to his forearm. To the cuts now covered with a layer of elastic bandage! The boy looked away, pretending he didn't see it. If that was done on purpose or not he couldn't know, but Ventus felt relief seeing he had at least done something. He wondered if he took care of his shoulder too...

Ventus was thoughtful when he heard Roxas exclaim an "Ah" behind him as he looked to the door and so he did the same. When he realized why his brother did that, Ventus smiled.

The young man they met on wednesday had just entered the classroom walking next to Saix. He talked with no worries in the world and smiled to the students when he entered. The teacher shook his head, but smiled too.

"Students, this is Axel. He is my student at the college and will be with us during today's lesson. I hope you treat him well just as you do with everyone else"

"No need for ceremonies, Saix" Said Axel, seeing an empty place at the end of the classroom and walking to it "I just want to remember what my teen days were like for a bit"

"Enjoy it while you can" Replied the teacher, putting his books over his own desk and walking to the blackboard.

The red haired man sat down as if he already belonged, putting his folder over the desk and stretching his legs. He looked around and, seeing Ventus and Roxas, waved directly to them.

"Hey there! You are... Ven... And Roxas, right?"

Ventus nodded, smiling and greeting him from a distance. Roxas lifted his hand in a incomplete greet, suddenly tense. There from the first desk Sora called him, who quickly answered before the lesson began.

Axel was a beautiful young man, it was evident by how many of the girls of the class looked to him. No one paid as much attention to him however like Roxas. He was mute and forgot the lesson, staring at him. Axel would sometimes say something about the class and when they were assigned some activities he didn't hold himself, helping the students who were around him and talking to anyone who spoke to him.

Ventus realized his brother was different when he turned around to ask him about the lesson. He was so distracted that he jumped and Ven laughed at him, thinking about how he had reacted on wednesday. He wondered...

"Ohhh, cool! It sounds amazing, ahn... I forgot your name" Spoke Xion after Axel told her what it was like at the college. He put his hand over her head in a caring way.

"I'm Axel, little one. Get it memorized, will you?"

She laughed "So... Why are you here? Not wanting to sound nosy, but..."

"Saix is helping me with my Final Course Assignment. He's my adviser and we agreed he would help me with it on friday mornings... So I asked him if I could watch his classes, I really miss high school. You know, when things were easier and all..."

"If this is easy, I really don't wanna go to college" Sighed Ventus, making everybody laugh - Except for Roxas, who was still silent and serious "But wait. Do you think you'll be with us every week then?"

"I don't think so. He made an exception for me, you know. I never even studied in this school... But I''ll definitely be around"

The class seemed to last longer than usual, but it eventually came to an end. Vanitas stood up as soon as the bell rang and soon everyone left to enjoy the weekend that was about to begin. Sora, Roxas and Ventus said goodbye to Axel and started walking towards their home.

"Say, Rox..." Began Ventus, putting his hands behind his head, relaxed. Sora did the same, knowing what he was going to say just by the way he looked to his brother "What was that all about?"

"That what?" Exclaimed the other, already on the defensive.

"Oh, come on, Roxas! You can tell us!" Continued Sora, laughing.

"Tell wh-"

"You froze when you saw Axel on wednesday. And today you wouldn't stop staring at him!"

"... And?" Roxas lifted an eyebrow to his brother, so Sora took the lead.

"By the way you were acting... I'd say you really fell for him, eh?"

Roxas turned red, not only with shame but also with anger. He raised his voice.

"Are you mad?!"

"It's alright, you know. He is kinda pretty, I'll give you that. But damn, you were so obvious back there!" Sora continued and Roxas grunted.

"Can't I even look anymore?"

"It's not looking... It's watching!" Replied Ventus, using the same words he had heard before. Touché.

"Roxas probably never saw such a beautiful person before. Just imagine what he'll be like now that we'll see Axel every week!" Sora started to laugh. Ventus did the same and, througout the rest of the way home, all Rox could do was to stay silent while blushing desperately.

* * *

After lunch, Ventus lay on his bed to relax for a while when his cellphone vibrated. It was a message from Ienzo. He read it without paying too much attention at first but then sat upright, eyes wide, and reread it to make sure he had understood it right.

 _Hey there, Ven. I thought I should tell you this... I had just left school when Vanitas approached me and my father._

 _Ven, he apologized to me!_


	11. Chapter 11

The doorbell of Ienzo's house rang. Even went to the door and opened it, already knowing who it was.

"Ah, Ventus. My son told me you would be coming here today. Good morning!"

It was saturday. Ventus had been brought by his mother and both now stood before Even. The two adults greeted each other and shared some words between them before Ven said goodbye and was invited to enter. He and Ienzo had arranged to study History together and, of course, talk about what Ien had told him the day before.

Ienzo walked to him with a soft smile. It was funny to see him wearing more relaxed clothing since he was always very well dressed, even for school, and kinda weird to see Even talking with no serious tone in his voice. Ventus asked for his permission and then approached his friend.

"Son, don't forget the pie in the oven!"

"Sure thing, dad!" Replied the dark haired teen and called Ventus to his impeccably clean and organized bedroom. Ven smiled.

"Must be nice to have your father as teacher. Or not..."

"It is, at least most of the time" He put his book over the bed, telling the other to do the same "I get the chance to learn a lot of things. Besides I also get practical chemistry classes, which is really great too"

"You do?"

"Didn't I tell you? My dad has a laboratory in the basement. He's always doing experiments down there and we usually spend some time together so he can teach me. In fact we've been working in a project since early in the morning!"

Ventus thought that was amazing. A laboratory at home? He did not like chemistry - Or exact Sciences in general -, but if he did have something like that in his own house he'd certainly try harder to learn! Or at least that's what he told himself.

"On the other hand, he can be pretty strict sometimes... And he's always watching over me when it comes to my studies. Of course he just wants me to give me my best and reach my goals so it's a win win" Finished Ienzo, smiling as he spoke. Even adopted him when he was one year old. The two had always lived alone and had a really strong bond that was hard to explain or even understand. Father and son were together whenever they could be and seemed to actually know what was going on inside each other's head.

"And can't you... Take a look at the tests before he gives them to us?" Asked Ventus, making his colleague laugh.

"I could if I wanted to... But I shouldn't and I'd feel bad about it. Would you?"

"... It depends on the lesson, I guess" Replied the boy, sitting on the bed while Ienzo sat on the chair. Way too curious to let the talk for later then, he continued "Ien, about what you told me last night..."

"Yeah. So..." Ienzo closed the book he had just opened "You know that I wait for my father everyday for us to come home, so I get to stay outside for a while. I had just opened our car's door when I saw him getting closer. I found it odd, but not much happened after that"

"And he... How was he? I mean, did he sound serious?"

Ienzo nodded "Uhum. But he was also clearly uncomfortable and unsettled. Still he didn't sound ironic nor anything like it. I was really surprised because, well, he didn't have a reason for that I guess. You said he didn't tell you anything that day in the bathroom, right?"

"No... He's pretty quiet" Replied Ventus, trying to redirect their conversation away from that subject "What about your dad? Did he say something?"

"Oh, he just asked what that was all about as we came home. I explained that it was probably from when I dropped those books and that was it. Like, there really isn't too much to say, but taking into account the circumstances, I thought you should know about it"

"Thanks, Ien!" Ventus smiled to himself. It might be just a hopeful thought but he would be really happy if the reason Vanitas had apologized was because he reconsidered the situation after receiving his help. Even if that wasn't the case, the mere fact he apologized was something unexpected...

The blonde finally opened his book and continued "Alright then, let's do it!" The two studied during half an hour, exchanging ideas about the lesson and writing some stuff in their notebooks when Ienzo's cellphone alarm went off and he stood up.

"I'll go check the oven. Do you want to come?"

When they got to the kitchen, Even was already there. He was preparing a fresh tomato and lettuce salad for them and greeted the boys when they approached, already setting up the table. Ventus was surprised when he saw that it was almost 1PM; time had passed by way too fast.

As they sat to have lunch together, Ventus felt tense for being in the presence of a teacher, especially in his own house. He didn't speak too much and merely watched while Ienzo put the pie over the table.

"So, are you having progress?" Asked Even to the boys. His son replied.

"Yes, History is not too hard. What about you, did you get your work done?"

"Yes. Now I just need to elaborate onto the 11th graders' tests. Unlike this not-too-hard lesson of yours, I suggest you two to study hard for mine"

"Yes, sir" Replied Ienzo and got himself some salad. Ventus had just taken a piece of the pie and, when he put it into his mouth, tasted something he had never tasted before.

"Whoa!" He exclaimed "This is wonderful, professor!"

"It certainly is" Replied Even and looked to Ienzo. He could be strict, but it was clear that he loved his son and was really proud of him "My son's culinary skills surprise me everyday"

Ventus looked to his friend, a wide smile spread across his face "You made this? Ien, this is so very good!"

"Thank you" The teen said, shy.

"Also, Ventus..." Continued the adult "We are not at school. You can call me by my name here. And also get yourself to feel more comfortable when you're around me"

"Y... Yes, sir!" Replied Ventus, not used to Even acting like this, and restarted to eat.

* * *

That monday Ventus once again woke up earlier without knowing why. He wasn't taking anything to school today and had nothing to do now but sleep. Still, he felt strange. He supposed it was anxiety, but from what?

As much as he pretended he didn't, Ven knew exactly why he was feeling that way. He expected some reaction from Vanitas after what Ienzo told him. Perhaps it was too much to think that the raven would come and talk to him too but, well, he _did_ use his first aid kid, didn't he? It would not be an exaggeration to imagine he could come and thank him as well, would it?

"...Ven?"

Ventus jumped. It was still very early; what was Roxas doing awake?

"Rox? Are you alright?"

Roxas went silent. He had turned around to talk to his brother, but now stared downwards trying to avoid visual contact.

"I have been thinking..."

He stopped talking again. Since when did Roxas get so hesitant like this? Ventus quickly sat upright on his bed, staring to his brother with attention.

"You know, on friday... When you, me and Sora came home and you two were joking all the time..."

Ventus laughed awkwardly "Oh, don't mind us, bro. We were just fooling aro-"

"Why did I act that way, Ven?" Roxas interrupted, a little tense "Why did I... Keep staring at him all the time?"

The younger blonde blinked many times. He didn't understand what was his brother's point with this talk, out of sudden.

"Ahhhhn... He's beautiful" Said Ventus in an attempt to support him but as he heard those words Roxas merely covered his face with both hands.

"Ven, I can't take him out of my head!" Sighed the boy. He felt extremely conflicted; he had seen Axel only two times, but couldn't stop thinking about him. He stood in silence, thinking and overthinking while Ventus watched, unsure of what to say. What exactly was he supposed to in a situation like this? Should he just stay there and support him in silence? Walk to him? Change the subject? Before he realized it, he was even more nervous than Roxas himself.

"R... Rox, look! There's nothing wrong with it, you know, if you think he's cool and... I don't know, if you're thinking about him, that's okay" Started Ventus, speaking hurriedly but all the time afraid of making matters worse "He'll be with us once in a week now, won't he? We can try talking more to him so we get to know him better and become friends!"

Roxas stared to his brother. He looked confused, very different from the always serious and dedicated boy he usually was "I never felt like this before... And I know I only saw him two times, fine, but still I am... I don't what I am" He laughed of nervousness, making his brother laugh too. Ventus lay on the bed again, staring at the ceiling.

"Well, when you find out, just talk to me. But if you want, I can actually get him to spend more time with us. You know I'm better at making friends than you are"

"Oh yeah? Like when you tell someone to come stay with us and then leave them with me while you go do your stuff? I know you pretty well, Ven!"

"I don't do that!"

The two laughed and Roxas settled down on the bed, now laying like his brother. They still had one more hour to sleep before their alarm went off, but none of them did. The older blonde did feel relieved after talking about that matter, even if just a little. And Ventus...

Ventus waited anxiously for the day to truly begin.


	12. Chapter 12

When they got to school later that day, Ventus automatically looked around searching for Vanitas but was disappointed when he didn't see him standing at the street corner. Perhaps he had not come today or maybe he was already inside. Not saying a word, the boy accompanied Roxas to the schoolyard where he once again searched for the black-haired teen with no success.

Once inside the classroom, Ventus pulled his stuff from inside his backpack and opened his notebook. Right on their first class they were told there was going to be a test in two weeks; professor Luxord announced it with a smile, telling his students about the topics they should study.

"It would have been easier if he said to study everything" Grumbled Ventus to himself while writing everything down. There was only half an hour left of that particular class when someone knocked on the door.

"I'm sorry for being late, teacher"

Ventus widened his eyes. It was Vanitas; he didn't look worried about being late, just waiting for permission to enter the classroom. It wasn't his calm or patience that called Ventus' attention however but the fact that he wasn't wearing that heavy sweatshirt from before! He now wore their usual school uniform and no longer covered his arms in bandages either. The wounds did not even look that bad anymore - It helped that those weren't as deep as the ones on his shoulder, he thought - and he kinda looked calmer as well.

"Lost track of the time, eh?" Said Luxord, allowing the teenager to enter the classroom and proceeding with his lesson as if there had not been any interruption. Vanitas said nothing, walking to his desk and sitting down. Ventus smiled happy for seeing him like that and, not really thinking before speaking, spoke to the raven.

"Good morning!" Vanitas looked at him, frowning "You look much better now wearing only a shirt"

"Hmpf" The older boy gave him a weak smile and then turned his attention back to the teacher. Ven only realized what he had just said when Roxas stared to him in utter disapproval.

Ventus gasped silently, turned to Luxord's direction and stood there, staring to his own hands. _You look much better now wearing only a shirt?_ What did Vanitas think of him when he said that? It wasn't like Ventus was talking about his appearance or his body ( _No way!_ , he told himself), he was just glad that he no longer wore that damn red sweatshirt! Considering how Vanitas now laughed at him as silently as he could, however, he was probably blushing more than he wanted to.

Luxord ended his lesson right after that. The students quickly opened their Physics Book and it was with surprise that they saw Terra entering the classroom.

"Good morning, everyone!" Greeted him "Professor Braig won't be able to come here today. So tomorrow you're having Physics classes with him and I'll be with you guys today instead. Is that okay?"

Everyone nodded, relieved. Braig knew how to be an awful teacher when he wanted to; they could spend a day without seeing him no problem!

"Well then, today... We'll carry on with our studies about absolute and relative locations. I want you to pay attention and write down as much as you can, because after your break we're having an assignment about what we see now" He explained, opening his own book and making the teenagers do the same.

Soon enough almost all students were talking about anything but the lesson. It was known by everyone that Terra didn't have much control over his students and, that said, usually spent more time trying to make them calm down and speak less than actually teaching something. Listening to the bell announce their break was as much a relief for him as it was for the students.

Ventus left the classroom right after his brother and once they were on the schoolyard both were called by Sora to play volleyball. Ven denied it but told his brother to go and merely waited for him while sitting by one of the tables.

Vanitas sat down in another table a few meters away from him, crossing his arms and watching the younger boys play as well. Seeing that as an opportunity, Ventus walked to him and sat by his side. The raven rolled his eyes; amazing.

"It's great to see your arm is better!" Exclaimed Ven, smiling "Did you make the bandages by yourself?"

Vanitas sighed. He smiled, but this time there was irony in his voice "Come on, blondie. You can stop that already"

Ventus looked at him confused "Stop that what?"

"There is no need to pretend you don't know!" Replied Vanitas, resting his face on his hands while looking to him "It's obvious that your friend told you about what I did. Ienzo, isn't it? The nerd?"

"Ahhhnn... Yeah?" What did one thing have to do with the other?

"So that's that. You already got what you wanted, little Ven. No need to play the good guy anymore"

"Got what I- What are you talking about?"

"Oh, come on!" Vanitas gritted his teeth in exasperation "What other reason did you have to come after me that way? Do you think I don't see how you look at me?"

Ventus felt his face turn red but didn't look away. It was true that he... Looked sometimes, but he didn't have bad intentions!

"W... Well, you were hurt. I couldn't ignore that now, could I?"

"I suppose not. Anything to be a step ahead of me, uh?" Vanitas laughed "I get it. I hurt your little buddy so you forced me to 'see my mistakes' and apologize. Well, very well. I've done it. You can go back to living your life now"

For a few seconds none of them said a word. Ventus was so confused that he started to laugh.

"You... You think I helped you for that? To prove something?"

"Wouldn't be the first time someone does that" Vanitas gestured his hand in disdain "I'm just being nice with you, kid. I won't bother you or your friends anymore, so-"

"You're wrong!" Interrupted Ven "I didn't... Want to prove anything. I was actually worried about you!"

"Really now? And why? Will you tell me you don't know?"

"Because-" Ventus stopped talking for a few seconds. He didn't have a reason exactly, just felt like doing something. He breathed deeply "Because you're always too quiet and all by yourself. And... And you looked sad. I wanted to help! And to..."

 _To get to know you better_ , was what he wanted to say but once again he stopped. When they played prisonball together during their first Physical Education class, he had seen Vanitas act pretty differently than he did now. He had been encouraged by him and even cheered everytime they scored. There was something about him that attracted the younger teen but he didn't know what that was and seeing him in such a depressing state after that day made Ventus want to help somehow.

Vanitas lifted an eyebrow at him, trustless. That 'reason' was way too exaggerated even for that way-too-shiny blonde "Kid, no one does anything unless there's a reward for it. You wouldn't have done it unless it would be worth for you. Want me to write that down?"

"That's not true!" Complained Ventus. How could someone be so bitter? "It is not and... And I'll prove it to you!"

"Prove it? Há, há! Good luck, then!" Replied Vanitas right before the bell rang again and he stood up "You can't"

He took the lead on the way to the classroom but Ven didn't allow him to walk away; instead, Ventus ran after him, holding him by his arm.

"Wanna bet?" Questioned the smaller boy. There was confidence in his eyes and that challenging tone of voice was uncommon for him. Vanitas stood still, watching him from head to toe. Damn brat!

"Bet, hm?" He smiled with superiority "And what happens if I win?"

"If you win... I will never... Ever talk to you or... Look at you again" Said Ventus, trying not to sound as hesitant as he really was. The raven nodded.

"Now that's a great reward"

"So you accept it?" Ventus still hadn't let go of him.

"Hold on! You still have to tell me what happens if, in the worst-case scenario, you win the bet!"

The students were all heading back to their respective classrooms and the ones who were playing volleyball did the same. Roxas was next to Sora and Riku when they walked by his brother and Vanitas. They didn't do anything but surely noticed the physical contact and how Vanitas seemed to be enjoying the situation while looking down at the boy.

"If... If I win..." Ventus swallowed "You will stop being so freaking lazy and actually try to study harder!"

Vanitas' smile disappeared.

"What?"

"It's my bet! Will you accept it or not?"

He was really determined to do that. Why it mattered so much Vanitas honestly didn't understand but, hell, what was the worse that could happen? It would be funny, fun even, to see the boy struggling for something so stupid. Behind that brave face of his there was so much inocence that it was pitiful.

Vanitas smiled once again "Alright then. It's a bet... Ventus! You can let go of me now"

"So it's a bet... Vanitas!" Replied the younger boy and let go of his arm, both now side by side while they walked to the classroom. While Ven tried to hide his victorious smile, Vanitas took a quicky glance at him; that would be interesting.

* * *

Terra waited for all of his students to arrive before giving them their assignment. It was a paper sheet with ten questions, all of them dissertative, about what they had been taught before the break.

"You can do this assignment in pairs or trios and I want it finished before class is over, no exceptions. You may start!"

Roxas poked his brother in the arm "Ven, wanna do it together?"

Ventus nodded and pulled his desk next to his brother's. He had already sat down again when he realized Vanitas was staring at him.

"Or trios..." He muttered, pretending to be serious "Perhaps I could help you two"

"Eh?" Ventus found that weird unlike Roxas who denied it immediately.

"Not you! You'll only slow us down!"

"Rox!" Exclaimed the other twin, hesitant. What should he do? He didn't even have time to think about it before Vanitas continued.

"Come on, Ventus. I thought you were being serious about the bet"

Damn it. Damn it, damn it! Now it was Ven who didn't know what that had to do with the bet, but it didn't matter. What mattered was that Vanitas shouldn't have spoken about it, not here, not now, not in front of Roxas.

"Bet... Ven?!" Roxas turned to his brother, nervous. Ventus even tried to defend himself but ended up mixing his words and, in the end, gave up on his explanation.

"I'll tell you later, Rox. Honest! Now can we just get this over with?"

"You better tell me everything... In details, Ventus!"

"So I'm in, right?" Celebrated Vanitas, pulling his desk next to Ventus' so he now was between him and Roxas. The older blonde grumbled irritated and Ventus put their assignment over his desk so everyone could read it.

"So... Will each one of us answer a few of these questions or are we gonna answer them all in one go?" Asked Ventus, opening his notebook so he could read all the notes he took earlier. Roxas and Vanitas did the same, although Vanitas had no writing at all in his own notebook. That was enough to make Roxas even angrier.

"Let's get this over with!" Murmured him, reading the questions aloud. All the time while he and Ventus searched for the answers, Vanitas merely stared and let them do everything. Of course none of them liked that.

"Hey!" Roxas called while writing the answer to exercise 4 "If you want to be a part of this then you better help us!"

"I _am_ helping! I'm rereading everything you wrote down to make sure you got it right. See?" Replied Vanitas in the most annoying tone of voice he could manage. Ventus sighed.

"You could actually write the answers down then" Suggested the boy "That way you will at least do something"

Roxas agreed, giving him the paper sheet and the pencil. He was tired of that nonsense anyway "Have fun"

With a playful smile, Vanitas pulled the sheet closer to him and put it on his desk, once again reading what was already written "There's a mistake here, Rox"

"Who do you think you are to call me Rox? We barely even talk to each other!"

"Man, you're boring" Grumbled the raven "Your brother lets me call him Ven!"

"No, I-!" Started Ventus, lowering his voice until he could no longer be heard "don't..."

"Is there any problem back there?" It was the teacher, now with his arms crossed and an angry look on his face. They lowered their heads and carried on with the assignment but Vanitas helped with nothing, only wrote down whatever the twins told him to. It was obvious he was doing this to annoy Roxas and, of course, embarass Ventus. Why?

When classes were finally over, Vanitas stood up and stretched his arms over his head, glancing at Ventus with a smile. So that's how it was going to be, uh? He thought it would be easy to make him give up and lose the damn bet, eh?

"Thank you, boys. Looks like I'll do well in Geography at least"

Roxas clenched his fists, the will to fight the older teen growing with each second but he managed to remain calm while they rearranged their desks and went back to their respective places. Ventus had just looked to Vanitas when he felt Roxas poke him in the arm again, this time harder.

"We need to talk!"

It was at that moment that Ventus realized he would rather deal with an annoying Vanitas all day long instead of facing an angry Roxas at home.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hello there! Hope you're enjoying what you've read so far :3**

 **Just thought I should tell you: I've changed this fic's rating from Teen and Up Audiences to Mature. I did that because even if there isn't much going on at this moment, the chapter I'm currently writing (In portuguese) contains things that fit better in Mature.**

 **Just a reminder: Fledging Emotions is a fanfic about two young teens getting to know each other while dealing with their own issues. If you take in consideration what each charater has been through in the original series, that might give you a hint of what kind of things to expect.**

 **Hopefully you'll enjoy it all! I'm trying to make it as clear and enjoyable as possible even if not on my native language for you all :3 Have a great day!**

* * *

"I can't believe it was you who had this brilliant idea!" Exclaimed Roxas angry, moving his hands without stop while they walked home "What were you thinking?!"

"Come on, Rox! It's no big deal!"

"Don't you remember what he did to that Max guy? Or how he beat those other two? Ven, he's not good company and it's obvious he only wants to take advantage of you!"

Ventus sighed "He doesn't-"

"Look, I know you get angry when I speak like this, but I'm worried, damn it! Of all the people in class why him?!"

"Because I want to, alright?" Replied Ventus, now irritated himself "I want to help him, Roxas! Let me at least try!"

"Help him? Ventus, he doesn't need your help! Who needs help is you for being so dumb and letting him approach like this!"

"Shut up!" Ventus took the lead, trying to leave his brother behind. He was always like this! Always criticizing everything he did and treating him like a kid! They had the same goddamn age, he could take care of himself. And even if he couldn't, he'd rather risk it than try to explain himself to someone who did not care enough to listen!

He entered their home and went straight to the bathroom, washing his face and staring into the mirror. Deep inside, he knew Roxas was right. He felt that, in the end, he would end up like an idiot for even trying and probably be made fun of for it. Confused, Ventus sat on the toilet and stood there for a few minutes, waiting for his anger towards Roxas to wear off so he could go to their bedroom.

During the rest of the day both barely talked to one another. Roxas couldn't understand why Ventus was being so stubborn! If their parents knew about this they would certainly agree with him and want their son to stay as far as possible from Vanitas. He wanted to tell them, but decided to wait. If his brother wouldn't learn it for good, he would have to let him learn the hard way, even if it hurt him.

Tuesday. Teacher Demyx entered the classroom, joyful as he always was.

"Good morning, everyone!" He waved, not even waiting for his students to reply "I have great news for you today!"

Everybody looked at each other, wondering what it was. The teacher, the youngest of their teahcing staff, cleaed his throat and continued, smiling.

"I have spoken with Principal Yen Sid for a few days now... And today I got the confirmation that the classroom next to our library can be used for our Music Lessons! Also... We're having at least one musical instrument for each one of us!"

All of the students celebrated! Until now, all they had got to study was musical theory. Demyx always encouraged his students to bring their own instruments to class but only a few had them and it was kind of difficult if not everyone could participate. Now that everyone would get a chance, however, the lessons were sure to be improved!

"When are we starting practical classes then, teacher?" Asked Kairi, excited.

"Probably in two weeks... But, if you want, we can start to clean up the place next week so we can, you know, make it feel like its actually ours and even decorate it if you'd like!"

All of them agreed, excited by the teacher's enthusiasm and, on that same day, they started to talk about how to make the place feel like their own for when the instruments arrived. There was a certain doubt about it really happening - It was a public school, after all, and if something went wrong it was likely that everything would go down the drain -, but they were all so euforic that they left those ideas aside at least for the moment.

Ventus looked to Vanitas, seeing the interest he had in this lesson shining in his eyes. Demyx's classes were the only ones where he'd really pay attention and, even if he didn't do anything, he didn't bother anyone either.

"You like music, don't you, Vanitas? What's your favourite instrument?"

"Guitar" He replied without turning his gaze away from the professor.

"Cool! I like the piano... But I've never played before"

Vanitas didn't reply, hoping to drop the subject right there and Ven understood that. Oh well. It was not going to be easy to talk to him.

Nothing more happened for the later classes. Braig, as they had been told the day before, gave them his lessons before and after the break. As if that wasn't enough, he gave them an assignment (Harder than Terra's, obviously) and set his test date for the semester. Xemnas did the same.

"If you don't want to fail in my class, I suggest you study everything we've seen in class so far. Extra subjects may also be included with no previous warning" Said the Philosophy's teacher.

"What do you mean?" Questioned Sora, speaking a little louder than he wanted to "This is absurd!"

"You say that as if you actually paid attention to my classes, Sora..." Xemnas smiled and the boy lowered his head.

Once classes were all over Roxas left first, not looking back. Ventus felt bad because of that but, at the same time, thankful that he didn't say anything. He didn't want to be angry at him anymore, sure, but it was worse if Roxas didn't even talk to him. He got his backpack and was already walking to the door when Vanitas talked to him.

"It will be hard for them to get a piano for our music lessons" Ven looked to him. Only now he replied to his comment from the first class?

"Ah, yes... Agreed"

"But an electric keyboard wouldn't be impossible" He stopped by Ventus' side, looking to him with no discernible expression "If we do get ourselves instruments, that is"

"Yeah..." Ventus sighed, annoyed by the way Roxas was acting. Trying not to think too much about it, he tried to continue their conversation "Do you know how to play a guitar?"

"Kinda. I had one once, but not for too long" They now walked through the corridors, straight to the school courtyard.

"What happened?"

"I had to sell it" Replied the older boy with somewhat of bitterness in his voice. Ventus realized that his reason for doing so certainly wasn't too pleasant.

"Hm..."

When they got to the school's entrance Ventus saw his brother waiting for him outside. Vanitas took a glance at him and, smiling, waved to the boy. The older of the twins would be capable of jumping down on his throat, but he kept his cool and did nothing while Ventus walked to him.

"Well, I'm leaving now" Said Ven, saddened by how Rox looked at him. Still, he tried not to let that show and smiled to Vanitas before leaving "See you tomorrow!"

Walking back home Ventus started to think. Roxas would stay mad at him for as long as he kept contact with Vanitas, but he wouldn't give up on his bet and would try to approach him more. Perhaps the only way he could get both to get along was to be the winner after all.

Their History's test was scheduled for the next day after the break... He wondered if he could ask her for an advice if he spoke to her before they began... And he did. As soon as the bell for lunch break rang, he ran to her desk.

"Professor Aqua!"

"Hi, Ventus!" She smiled to him, caring as usual "Why such a hurry today?"

"I... Wanted to tell you something. A-And you can call me Ven!"

Seeing he was anxious to tell her whatever it was, Aqua called him to once again walk with her to the teacher's staffroom while he spoke.

He told her about trying to get closer to Vanitas and how he had made a stupid bet with him and he accepted it. He spoke about how he was hesitant to talk about something with him and also mentioned his brother's reaction to all of that. Aqua listened with all of her attention; Ventus wasn't joking when he said he was worried about the older teen.

"Look, Ven... Vanitas is a little complicated because he hardly talks about himself, and even when he does it's always on the defensive"

"Yeah... It's as if he's hiding something. I... I fear I might make things worse instead of helping him"

"If you force him to something that might actually happen. But look, Ventus... I think that for you to get what you want, you should stop thinking too much. Just... I don't know, follow your heart?" She smiled and Ventus lowered his head, a little down. The teacher thought a little bit.

"You know... By coincidence, or maybe luck, I might be able to help you with that today" She caressed his head showing affection.

"Help... Me?"

Aqua said nothing more and took her leave when they got to the staffroom. Ventus watched Terra walk to her with a warming smile and then followed to the courtyard, wondering what she meant by that.

By the end of the break all students quickly returned to the classroom and left only their pencils, pens and erasers over the desk. Aqua arrived a little later, turning to them.

"Well, we don't have much time..." She gathered all the test sheets, ready to distribute them "You'll be doing it in pairs. I want you all to switch places really fast for me"

The students cheered happily, choosing their pairs as fast as they could but, before they could actually do it, Aqua continued.

"Oh, I'm sorry, sweethearts... I will be the one to choose your partners today"

Silence. Everyone looked at each other, fearing who would be chosen and, without wasting more time, Aqua started calling the pairs by names.

When she spoke "Ventus and Vanitas", Ven understood what she meant by help.

He pulled his desk to the raven's side and sat down without a word. Both just stood there, staring forward quietly. Ven was anxious about the exam. Vanitas didn't care.

"Did you study?" Asked Ven, aware of the answer. Vanitas cracked his neck.

"No. I don't need to study for History"

"You don't? But you don't write anything down!"

"And why would I?" He smiled, putting a finger on his head "I know it all by memory, little Ven"

Ventus went silent, slightly relieved. If Vanitas continued to show off like this maybe they could talk for a while longer. The blonde took a deep breath when they received their sheet and put it on the center of the desks before starting to read the first question.

"What were the causes of the Great Roman Civil War? Describe it."

He stopped right there, rereading the question. Vanitas rested his face on both hands, not paying attention to the exam but to how Ventus suddenly looked so nervous.

"Ahnn... Doesn't it have something to do with that proposal from Caesar to the Roman Senate?"

Vanitas laughed "Must be. Go on, write it down: When Caesar..."

"But that's not it!" Replied Ven, frowning "I... I remember I read about it..."

"You didn't study, did you?" Vanitas pulled the sheet to himself "Give me the pencil"

"What are you going to write?" Questioned Ven, tense but curious enough to approach and see him write. And Vanitas wrote... A lot. Ventus said nothing while he did, only seeing how focused he was at the moment and four written lines later, he returned the pencil to Ventus.

"I think this will do"

Ven didn't expect that. So Vanitas actually knew what he was doing? Or was that a made up answer thrown in a way to make it seem like he did?

"... Okay" Ventus continued to read "The Battle of Actium is known as a decisive confrontation in the final war of the Roman Republic. Considering what you know about it, dissert about the results of the battle"

"Lots of people died" Answered Vanitas "And someone probably was heard of, since that happens to anyone who is killed in a war"

"I'm serious here, Vanitas"

"So am I!"

Ventus started to think. Although he was calmer now, however, he wouldn't stop shaking his leg up and down not even for a second. Vanitas kept staring to him, entertained by how he had calmed down so fast and now looked closely to the test.

"While I think about this one, try to read the others and find the answer" He suggested and the older boy nodded, taking a look on the other questions. He didn't even know why he was doing it since he would end up failing the year once again. Leaving that aside for now, he continued to read and write the answers mentally while Ventus thought about the second question. As focused as Vanitas was, however, that shaking under the table had started to irritate him.

"Hey, can you stop?!" He exclaimed, taking Ventus off his trance and scaring him a little.

"Ah- Sorry. I-I think I got the answer!" The two exchanged a quick idea about it and decided to write it down in the end. Vanitas offered to answer the third question, explaining what he was going to write and making Vertus once again wonder how much he pretended he did or didn't know.

Time was going by fast. There were two questions left now and fifiteen minutes before class was over. Aqua warned her students about the time and Ventus once again felt nervous, his leg trembling uncontrollably.

Five minutes. Vanitas was finishing the last question now, but that shaking finally got to his nerves. He wrote a word wrong once, twice, thrice and then he finally lost it.

"Would you stop moving that fucking leg?!" He exclaimed, turning around in a swift movement and holding Ventus' leg against the chair, his fingers closing over it. He was nervous and stressed but his anger turned into confusion when Ventus widened his eyes and turned red as a beetroot.

The young boy stopped moving at all, staring to Vanitas not understanding what just happened. What he felt exactly he didn't know, but he blushed so hard that he desperately felt the need to turn his attention to something, anything but the test, Vanitas or the hand that still rested on his leg. The older teen raised an eyebrow and, ignoring that, turned to the paper sheet once again and finished writing.

"Alright. You may return your tests to me now, sweeties!" Said Aqua, waiting for her students to come to her desk and watching those who were still finishing theirs. She smiled to each one while they approached her but found the look on Ventus' face strange.

"Ventus, is everything alright?" She looked to his paper sheet. Every question had been answered and, at a first glance, everything seemed to be in order. He wasn't like this because of Vanitas, was he? Had he said something to Ven? The boy finally replied-

"Y-Yes, teacher. Everything... Everything's alright"

-and then turned around before she could ask anything else. He picked up his pencil, pen and eraser before pulling his desk back to its place and sitting down in silence.

"Oy!" It was Vanitas. Ventus really didn't know what had just happened, but surely didn't feel like looking to him. He would blush again and feel his heart beat faster in the same uncomfortable way as it did a few minutes ago. Why did he feel that? Why-

"Hey, I'm talking to you, Ventus" Insisted the raven and Ven had no choice but to look to him. As he knew it would happen he felt his cheeks go red and didn't look Vanitas in the eye when he spoke "I think we did well"

"Oh yeah, uhum" Replied the blonde, looking away as if looking to his other classmates. Vanitas crossed his ams, intrigued by that. The way Ventus had stared to him-

The boy narrowed his eyes and laughed to himself. Suddenly, things had become even more interesting than he had expected them to.


	14. Chapter 14

Ventus took longer to sleep that night, laying on his back while staring to nothing in particular, thinking. He wasn't trying to exactly understand what happened, but he remembered very well what he felt and that feeling alone made him blush in the dark. It was strange; Vanitas was mad at him, angry because he couldn't keep his stress under control during the test. He should have felt afraid, even irritated, but instead he felt... That way.

Ugh. He rolled on his bed, trying to avoid these thoughts. Now in the following day he'd have to pretend nothing had happened... Yeah, he'd do that. If he let Vanitas gain the upper hand after this, he would end up losing his chance to get closer to him. At the same time, if he was going to feel that way again, maybe it would be better to stay away after all...

But of course he wouldn't do that. Every day Ventus instinctively searched for him when they got to school; if he wasn't smoking outside, he was probably sitting by one of the tables inside or just waiting for the bell to ring in front of the bathroom. Roxas watched his brother every time he looked around; even if he was still angry, they at least were talking more and waited for each other before leaving home.

Vanitas was awfully tired that day. He had barely slept last night and even getting to the classroom was a struggle now. When he arrived he didn't think twice before dropping his backpack on the floor and he leaned over his desk, his head spinning. He barely closed his eyes and was already falling asleep .. And he would have done it just fine if it wasn't for one small detail.

"Good morning!"

Ventus. The raven lifted his head and stared to the boy.

"What do you want?!" He asked louder than he should.

"Oh- N-Nothing! Sorry!"

And Vanitas once again leaned over the desk, ignoring the existence of anyone around him, A few seconds into the first class and he was fast asleep, drooling over his arms and worrying about nothing at all. He only woke up because Larxene walked to him and he jumped when she hit his desk with her ruler. Vanitas rubbed his face with both hands while she spoke, mocking him.

"If you are going to sleep all the time, then why even bother coming here?" She asked, looking at him while he sighed. He looked as if drunk by the way he stared at her and remained like that for the rest of the day.

When the bell for break rang, the sleepy teenager decided to leave the classroom and try a little harder to stay awake, thankful no one had spoken to him. Yawning and tearing up of exhaustion, Vanitas washed his face and sat at one the tables on the schoolyard, taking a deep breath and trying to pay attention to something. He was lost in thoughts with no meaning when someone approached. Already irritated and knowing who it was he turned around to look; Ventus smiled and sat next to him.

"Here" He gave him a chocolate bar. Vanitas took it unwillingly, grumpy "I don't know if you like this one in particular... But choolate always helps me to concentrate when I'm sleepy"

"...Hm" Vanitas stared to the candy; it was one of those sold at school, the famous Lucky Lucky. For a few seconds he didn't say anything, wondering whether to accept it or not. Well, there was no reason to deny it, so he didn't and started to eat.

"Larxene can be really awful, uh?" Said the smaller boy, trying to start a conversation "I mean, you didn't do anything for her to do that"

"That was nothing" Said the other, tasting the chocolate "She gets worse as the year goes by, you better get used to it"

"How do you know? Oh, yeah, you fail-" Ventus stopped speaking, embarrassed for saying that, but Vanitas didn't seem to mind.

"I failed for two years. With this one, it'll be three" Exclaimed the teen, smiling. He looked... Proud. Ventus didn't understand that.

"Don't you want to complete high school?" Vanitas didn't have problems with learning. Even if he didn't do anything, he seemed to have enough knowledge about the lessons and also ease to apply it. It was as if he really didn't want to leave school considering how he didn't give a damn.

"What difference would it make?" He threw the last piece of chocolate in his mouth.

"Ahn, well... It's another stage, right? Complete high school... Then go to college"

"Cool. And for what?"

"For... Well, ahn, I don't know, to complete another stage! And..."

"And follow the same routine everyone else does. Like a machine" He looked to the boy "Believe me, we're all trying to be important in some way but in the end we are all the same: A bunch of sad people, unsatisfied with the life we have"

Ventus listened to him in complete silente. Indeed, he had never thought about why he wanted to go to college or even if he wanted to. Perhaps he was led to do it by others... At the same time, it wasn't like he could not do anything, right?

"You know... I understand what you mean. But... To simply do nothing isn't a good a idea either" Vanitas stared to him "If you have nothing to achieve or nothing to fight for, you end up losing interest in things... And getting depressed"

"Hm" Vanitas smiled "You're pretty straightforward, aren't you?"

"I-I wasn't talking about you!" Apologized Ven, slightly tense seeing Vanitas now laughing out loud.

"Well... You have a point there" Said Vanitas, standing up "Not that it matters, of course. You're free to do whatever you want"

Ventus nodded, not knowing what to answer and stood up as well, walking next to Vanitas back to the classroom without saying another word.

The second lesson with Larxene was even worse than the first. The teacher didn't keep her eyes off her students not even for an instant while they did her assignment and kept talking about a test she hadn't even scheduled yet. The rumors about her giving her exams by surprise seemed to be real and a noticeable fear of being surprised by her started to take over the students.

As soon as her class was over everyone started chatting excitedly when the vice-principal Eraqus entered the classroom. They all stopped talking and he greeted them.

"Good morning, students. I have brought you some news. For personal reasons, your Arts' teacher won't be working in this school anymore" The teens looked at each other, wondering what happened "We still don't have a substitute for today, but next week I assure you'll be having those lessons. We can't send you home now, but you're allowed to go to the schoolyard of the sports court and wait until you can leave. The school monitor Xaldin will be accompanying you"

He didn't have to say it twice. A few seconds later and the students got up, all of their material now safe inside their backpacks, and left for the schoolyard. Xaldin already waited for them there; his presence was a little intimidating but, even if he was quiet and serious, he certainly cared about them all.

"Very well; what do you want to do in those two classes?" He asked, the key for their deposit (Where all the material for their physical educations classes was kept) in his hands.

"Let's play volleyball!" Exclaimed Tidus. Riku intervened.

"No, let's play Prisonball!" He turned to Vanitas with a playfull smile on his lips "Wanna lose again?"

"I'll pass" Replied the older teen. Just to remember that first game made his nose ache.

"Hey, Ven. Do you want to play chess?" It was Ienzo and Ventus accepted immediatelly. Soon each student was after something they could use. Most of them went to the sports court while the others stood there, talking or having fun with board games (Card games were prohibited).

Ienzo and Ventus sat on the smallest of the tables, setting up the chessboard. Vanitas already walked away with nowhere to go when he was called.

"Vanitas!" It wasn't Ventus; it was the nerd. Curious, he turned to the boys "Would you like to play with us?"

"I don't like chess" He replied, disinterested.

"But you can stay here if you want" Continued the boy to Ventus' surpise. Ienzo barely talked to him but still wanted him to stay there after what he did? "At least you won't be alone. Unless that is what you want, of course"

Ventus had said nothing until now. He didn't want to force Vanitas' presence and he had decided to try a slower approach, so he was surprised when the raven decided to return to them on his on, standing next to them and watching the game.

"Do you want to go first?" Asked Ienzo.

"Nah, I'll let you have an advantage!" Replied Ventus and soon both were paying attention exclusively to the game. Vanitas watched them without saying a word, not even to bother, and ended up sitting next to Ventus so he could see better. Sometimes the two players mocked each other playfully but nothing that went on for too long. They were really focused on the game but then Ienzo suddenly turned to the other.

"You seem to be interested, Vanitas. But it also seems... That you don't know how to play, isn't that right?" Vanitas stared at him without replying "You're trying to understand why each piece moves differently since you sat down. I can see by the way you look at the board"

Ventus looked from Ienzo to Vanitas and couldn't hold his laugh. He was used with Ienzo being like this - Always silent and watchful, seeing everything and saying nothing - but the look on Vanitas' face was priceless.

"Hey, just because I'm not playing doesn't mean I don't _know_ how to play it" He narrowed his eyes "I just don't see what's so fun about games like this"

"Really? Oh, what a shame..." Ienzo moved one of his rooks three houses to the left "Can you tell me the pieces' names at least?"

Ven turned his attention away from the game for a minute. What did his friend want with all that teasing?

"Should I?" Questioned Vanitas.

"So you really don't know. Ven, your turn"

Vanitas rolled his eyes. Damn know-it-all; what reasons did he have to challenge him like this? He could play that stupid game if he wanted to. It couldn't be that hard.

Ventus smiled to him "There's nothing wrong with not knowing how to play. But to say you don't like it without actually knowing it..."

Vanitas shrugged pretending not to care but there was a hint of irritation in the way he stared to the board. Not too long after, Ienzo declared check-mate against Ven and the two congratulated one another for the game.

"We still have some time before we can leave. Wanna go another round?" Asked Ventus. Vanitas seemed to be trying hard to understand why he had lost since he had more pieces, which made Ienzo laugh.

"Nah, I'm done for now. Why don't you show Vanitas how to play?" He asked and did not wait for an answer before leaving. Ventus looked to him for a while but was ignored and replied with silence. When he turned to face Vanitas, he was staring to him.

"What's your friend's problem?" Ventus didn't know what to reply.

"So... You... Want me to teach you how to play? At least we do something until we can leave? And, well... That way you can play with us next time!"

Vanitas gave it a thought. He was bored and didn't give a damn to that but, of course, he didn't like how Ienzo had spoken to him. If he needed to learn how to play in order to win against the damn nerd, so be it.

"Fine, whatever" He sat on the other side of the table, looking to Ven "So?"

The blonde rearranged the pieces on the board. He was a little tense, not for having to teach him but for being alone with him. At least we wasn't so close like during their History tes- _Control_ _yourself, Ven!_

 _"_ The goal of the the game is to capture your opponent's King while protecting your own! _"_ He began "Whoever plays with the white pieces is the one to start"

"And who decides who gets the white or the black ones?" Asked Vanitas, arms now crossed.

 _"_ It depends. When playing among friend you can simply choose" Ventus then continued and explained to him how each piece moved, showing him while speaking. Vanitas kept quiet, looking to the board and occasionally to Ventus. That kid was too happy for his liking.

"And that's it!" Ventus smiled when he finished "Any doubts?"

"Well... Your explaining skills suck. Try again"

"Eh?! What do you mean? Why didn't you say earlier?"

"Don't you want me to learn? So explain it again"

"It was you who wanted to learn, so why didn't you say anything before?"

From afar, Ienzo looked to them. Vanitas was laughing and Ventus looked nervous. Of course the older teen found it fun to tease the boy but, if Ven really wanted to get closer to him, then why not help a little bit?


	15. Chapter 15

In the end Ventus decided to go through the rules of chess with Vanitas once more the following day. He had a smaller board at home and offered to take it to school on friday so they could play during their physics education class. If they couldn't, there'd be at least the break.

Roxas saw how excited he was that moning when he got his backpack and put the chessboard inside, but said nothing about it. The twins were talking to each other almost as much as before now, but Roxas was still worried. More than once he had seen Ventus get attached to someone only to be left behind and suffer because of it and Roxas hated the possibility of that happening again.

During their class they were forced to play basketball. Almost no one was good at it so the teacher spent most of their time teaching them how to do it right. As soon as the third class was over, however, Ventus got his chessboard and called for Vanitas (Who looked a lot more willing to play than yesterday).

Since the schoolyard was full, the boys sat on the floor next to the entrance of the school where almost no one stood. Ventus arranged the board quickly.

"Okay... Let's go through it once m-"

"No" Vanitas took the lead "I'll go first"

He turned the board around so he could get the white pieces and Ventus widened his eyes. Had he studied the rules by himself? Without questioning, they started to play.

Vanitas certainly had studied at home. He was focused on his pieces and clearly much more relaxed today while he waited for Ventus' turn. That was the first time when both felt fully comfortable with each other. Vanitas had no other intentions but to win - He wanted to face Ienzo as soon as possible - and Ventus was so excited about him playing with him because he actually wanted to that he ignored everything else.

They didn't have too much time, though. Twenty minutes later and the bell rang, forcing them to stop playing.

"Shit. It will be hard to play during the break" Vanitas sighed.

"Is your cellphone with you?" Asked Ventus.

"Hm?"

"I left mine back in class... And you're always with yours, aren't you? We can take a picture of our progress so we can continue playing next monday!"

He thought a little about it and took his device out of his pants pocket. It wouldn't hurt to do it, he thought to himself. Besides, if they were going start a new game everyday day he would never get the chance to win due to lack of time so he took the picture and put the device away.

Both were returning to the classroom when Ventus saw Axel walking around the place. He smiled and waved to the red-haired man, waiting for him to come to them.

"Good morning! You are..." Started Axel.

"Ventus! And this is Vanitas!" The raven looked to Axel with disinterest. Why had he been introduced again?

"Hey man!" Axel greeted him with a shake of hands "Where is your brother, Ventus?"

"He must be back inside already... We're actually going there. Are you coming with us today?"

"Not today... I came here earlier because of that, I need to talk to Saix before his lesson and go home"

"You should stay with us during the break on next friday!" Said Ven, thinking about Roxas. He had told him he'd try to become Axel's friend and he really would.

"That's actually a pretty good idea!"

After that small talk, Vanitas started to pay more attention to Ventus. No matter who talked to him, he always replied smiling and excited. He was very sociable and kind even with those who didn't deserve such treatment. He scratched his head, ignoring these sudden thoughts about the boy. It was only a waste of time anyway.

Right before the end of their school day, Ven walked to him once again "Hey, can you send me the picture you took of the game?"

"Why? I'm not gonna lose it, if that's what you think"

Ventus laughed "Of course not! But it isn't fair if only you can study your next moves while I'm left in the dark, isn't it? Want me to give you my phone number?"

"If you want to" The raven handed his device to him "Put it in there so I can send you the picture. Then I'll delete your contact and we're good"

Ventus lowered his gaze, not reacting to that. He needed to remind himself not to get too comfortable or hopeful about the older teen. He did what he had to and then returned the phone, thanking him.

"If you have any doubts about the rules, just ask me!" The blonde then waved and said goodbye, running towards Roxas and Sora (Who was spending the day with them today). Vanitas watched him walk away and, more than quickly, went to his contact number ('Ventus'), sent him the picture and then chose it to be deleted.

"Tch... That brat"

Vanitas canceled the deleting process and put his device back into his pocket.

* * *

The first thing Ventus did when they got home that day was smile as the delicious smell of spaguetti reached him. Roxas and Sora smiled too and the three ran to the kitchen, greeting the twin's mother and already praising her for the food. They were going to the mall later that day and happily enjoyed their day as if it would never end.

They were so hungry that they ate all the spaguetti, talking all the time about every kind of stuff. As soon as the twins' dad arrived home, they all left for the mall and spent the day there. After watching a movie they also had dinner and went to a gaming shop to take a look at the releases. The three friends spent all the time together and, thinking about the great day they were having, wished for the upcoming weekend to last forever.

* * *

The first thing Vanitas did when he got home was sigh as the unpleasant smell of beer reached him. Too tired to care about it, the teenager left his stuff over the couch and went to the kitchen, that awful odour following him everywhere.

On the table, as expected, were a few bottles of beer. He didn't count but there were clearly more than five by the way they were gathered and that without counting the ones that were on the sink and the others that he would definitely find around the house. Damn; it was not even lunch time yet and he had already drank this much?

Vanitas started to pick every bottle he found with utmost care, putting them inside a garbage bag to take it to the yard. What was going to happen to it was none of his business, like his father always said whenever he questioned how much he had been drinking lately. Since he was already cleaning, Vanitas ended up going to the sink and gathering whatever he needed to make his food.

While he waited for the rice to boil, the teen picked up his backpack and took it to his bedroom before cleaning it as well. He heard his father snoring loudly in the other room and rolled his eyes, closing the door. He put his things away, made his bed and changed his clothes, now wearing a simple shirt and a shorts. A while later and he could already smell the rice.

When he was about to leave his room he heard a mumble from his father. He stopped walking, now listening.

"...V... Vanitas!"

Shit. He probably made too much noise.

"What is it?"

"C- Come 'ere!"

He was awfully drunk. Vanitas knew this by how he spoke and let out a heavy sigh when he entered the room. Its windows were closed and that stench annoyed him. Xehanort lay on his bed wearing only his underwear, what made the teen turn his look away. Suddenly tense, Vanitas clenched his teeth.

"Oh for God's sake. Do you know what time it is?"

"S-Stop blabbering and h-help your father!" Complained the man, struggling to simply sit straight on the bed. Not a surprise, considering how much he drank. Disgusted, Vanitas entered the room and helped him up before taking him to the bathroom. He left his father there, returning to the kitchen before his food turned into ash. He only had time to lower the heat and taste the rice before he was called again.

"I'm coming! Goddamn..." Vanitas put the fork over the table and walked unwillingly back to the adult. When he arived a new wave of discouragement hit him "You could at least be more careful. Look at this mess! You look like a child!"

Xehanort said nothing. He needed to eat and drink something for the alcohol to settle down a little bit. The two went to the kitchen where the teenager made the salad while his father sat at the table, annoyed and mad as usual.

"You're taking too long to bath yourself, brat" He started, speaking in a lazy way but fully conscious of what he was saying "The bill is too high! When are you going to get a job?"

"I'm searching" Replied the young man, putting his plate on the table "Just... Please, next time make sure you put away the garbage? Did you seriously need to drink that much? The house is stinking!"

"And who do you think you are to say that? You can't stay a single fucking day without your damn cigarrette!"

"At least I know better than to smoke inside!" Replied Vanitas, washing his hands and sitting down as well "Unlike you, I don't want my house to smell like-"

Xehanort grabbed him by his shirt, pulling him closer " _My_ house. You only get to stay here because I **allow you** to! Did you forget?!"

Vanitas looked away "No, sir"

"Insolent son of a bitch..." He let go of the boy, crossing his arms "You better really be searching. The bills don't pay themselves"

"... They would, if you didn't spend all our money in drin-"

Xehanort slapped his face so hard and so suddenly that all he could was to close his eyes. He didn't look to the man after that; he couldn't. It was one of the rules he should follow if he didn't want to get into trouble. A few seconds passed in silence and Vanitas still didn't move, frozen by the humiliation once again. Xehanort stood up, getting himself some water before going to the living room as if he had done nothing. Considering how frequently he did that, it really felt that way.

Vanitas restarted to eat, now with no apettite whatsoever. After doing it in silence, he washed the dishes and returned to his bedroom, laying on the bed. Every friday it was the same thing and if Xehanort was already like this he could only imagine the hell that awaited him this weekend.

It was hard to stay quiet after so long, hard to say nothing while he hurt him day after day. But he knew he should never stand up against his father when he was drunk... As if being beaten when he was sober was any better. Sometimes it was even worse. Vanitas lay there for one hour doing nothing, not even thinking. It had been days since he managed to actually get some rest and he felt today would be equally hard to sleep. With nothing more to do, he pulled himself together and went to take a shower to relax.

Looking to his reflection on the mirror, the black-haired teen ran his hand carefully over the long scar he had over his chest. Leaning on the sink, he took a deep breath and tried to calm himself down... If he wasn't careful, things could get even worse. He turned the shower on, letting the water run through his hair and body with no interruptions for a while.

As hard as it was, he knew he only lived there because Xehanort allowed him to. He had nowhere to go if he was evicted. He had no authority to say or do anything about it and if the constant screams and insults weren't enough to remind him of that, then the wounds that covered his body would.

Thinking about what had just happened in such little time, Vanitas wished for the upcoming weekend to end as fast as possible.


	16. Chapter 16

Saturday wasn't as good as Ventus thought it would be: He had forgotten that was their week of tests at school so he and Roxas had to spent their entire saturday studying and writing.

The worst subjects were definitely Philosophy and Sociology; there were so many texts to read and too many notes taken! Because of that, the twins decided to sum up everything they knew so far in a pdf file so they could share it with their friends as well.

"Lazy as he is, Sora must be crying right now" Ventus laughed .

"We all are" Roxas joined him before he opened his Philosophy book. When they finally finished around 5:00PM, Ven put the file in his cellphone and started to send it to his contacts.

"I'll send it to Ienzo, but he won't even read it. I'm sure he knows all by memory by now" Remarked the young blonde, talking about each friend of his while sending them the file. Who else was left? He had already sent it to Ienzo, Sora, Riku, Kairi... There was Xion, who was always with Ienzo and quickly became their friend too... And then there was Vanitas.

He thought about what the boy said last friday. Had he really deleted him from his contacts? Blocked him, perhaps? Well, it was worth a try. He chose _Vanitas_ from his contacts list and sent it.

"So... Can we call it a day? We can read it all again tomorrow morning" Suggested Roxas.

Ventus agreed "Finally! Wanna do something?"

"I dunno" He lay on his bed, arms wide open "Want to get some ice cream?"

"You bet!"

A few minutes later they went to the ice cream shop of their neighborhood, the only one which sold Sea Salt Ice Cream. The last time they went there, Ienzo and Sora were with them. That was some time ago already and Rox wondered why they had taken so long to come back. The twins could already see the ice cream shop in the distance when someone called for them.

"Sora!" Roxas greeted him and the twins smiled to their friend, now walking to them. He wasn't alone "Heya, Riku!"

"Hey" Greeted the silver-haired boy. He wore jeans pants and a red t-shirt, just like Sora except his shirt was blue "Where are you going?"

"We're having ice cream! Do you want to come with us?" Asked Ven and Sora happily agreed. Riku and Roxas shared glances thinking the same thing: Sometimes, those two were waaay too happy for them.

"Of course! That is if you want to, Riku!" Continued the boy, with such a warming smile that it would be impossible to say no. The older boy accepted it and the four then chose a table for themselves. The afternoon was very pleasant, a calm and cool breeze ocasionally touching their faces. They chatted for a while not really caring about the time, only thinking about it when Ventus' cellphone rang.

"Hi, mom! We're having ice cream with Sora and Riku, we'll be back soon!" He listened for a second and turned to his brother "Did you bring our keys? They're going out"

"Of course I did. I mean, you never do it! If I dependen on you..."

"'Kay, 'kay, yeah, he brought it, mom! Have a good evening you two!"

His brother laughed. Seeing the twins like that was a sign that they were no longer fighting one another, which was great for Sora and Riku too! After the call they stood there for a few more hours before saying goodbye and leaving. The stars fully covered the sky by now, blinking randomly over the brothers that walked home without hurry.

They entered their house now silent due to their parents' absence, and enjoyed the rest of the night each in their own way. Roxas ended up going down the stairs and fell asleep while watching a movie in the living room while Ventus remained in their bedroom and lay on his bed to read. Totally distracted by the book, he jumped when his cellphone vibrated: He had forgotten that he sent the resume to his friends!

 **Ienzo**  
Thanks, Ven! I'll read it and send you what I have too!  
 _17:15_

 **Kairi**  
Thanks, Ventus! Can I share it with everyone else?  
18:00

 **Xion**  
Thx, Ven :D I'm so lost in those subjects :(  
I hate Xemnas

 **Sora**  
Holy shit, I didn't even start to study yet o-o  
That's a lot of content, omg  
t.t I'm so doomed

 **Riku**  
Now I think I can get a good grade this time, haha. Thanks!  
21:16

 **Vanitas**  
Cool  
21:48

Ventus frowned. He expected everyone to reply, except Vanitas. It wasn't the best reply ever, but it was... Something? It had been 25 minutes since he sent it... Was he still awake? Should Ven reply? The boy thought about it while talking to his others friends and, in the end, decided not to send anything.

* * *

Vanitas had spent his entire saturday away from home, leaving his CV anywhere he could. He hated to do that, mainly because there wasn't much to tell about himself. Since he started to work when he was 13 he did have some kind of experience, but it had always been off the books and he never managed to stay in the same place for more than six months.

"How is it possible" Complained Xehanort, time after time "for someone to be so useless to the point they can't keep a decent job?"

"Beats me" He replied, totally uninterested.

"You should study at night and work during the day! Maybe then you'd find something good for you! Not like you would keep it anyway, knowing how you are"

Vanitas sighed; it was no secret that he would rather stay away from home all day long and only go back to eat, bathe and sleep and for that exact reason he used to spend his weekends outside. 'To look for a job' was the perfect opportunity to leave early in the morning, kill some time and only return after his father was sleeping.

When the black-haired boy arrived home that night he found himself alone. Locking the door then he sighed in relief and threw himself on the couch, enjoying that momentary peace and silence. The raven then picked his cellphone, turned the wi-fi on and was about to watch a random video on the internet when he got a new message.

 **Ventus**  
Hi! Me and brother wrote a simple resume for Xemnas and Saix tests. I thought it might be helpful!  
17:13

Vanitas snorted. It might be helpful... If he had the slightest will to read its content that is. Aware that he would not even open the file, he sent a message - "Cool", just not to leave the boy hanging-, stretched his arms and, too tired to do anything else, lay down and fell asleep as well.

His father's screams were his alarm that sunday.

"... sleeping! How can you do anything useful if all you do is to stay here doing nothing?! I'll tell you-"

He complained for a while longer but that was something Vanitas was already used to so he ignored him. Only when Xehanort stopped speaking was that the boy sat upright, his body aching due to him sleeping all night on the couch. Running his hand through his extremely wild hair, he yawned and checked the time on his cellphone: 11:55 AM.

Too late to complain now, he thought. Only after a while he realized there was an unread message; he raised his eyebrow and read it.

 **Ventus**  
Good morning \o We're having a Chemistry test tomorrow after the break, right? Do you still want to continue our chess game or would you rather study?  
9:15

Vanitas had even forgotten about the game, but of course he wouldn't back off now. He quickly replied ("If you're afraid of losing, we can leave it for another day") and stood up, going to his bedroom.

Vanitas used to wake up at 5:40 every day of the week. He would then put the water for his coffee to boil while he bathed and, once he was done, drinked a cup while smoking in the sidewalk. Without eating anything, he then picked his backpack and left. It was a 20 minutes walk to school and he was always alone, thankful for having no one to bother him. On that monday his routine was no different and he arrived early, taking his time to relax.

"Good morning!"

That voice. Vanitas knew he would listen to it constantly now that Ventus taught him how to play chess. If the blonde was still thinking about their bet or not, that was something Vanitas wasn't so sure of.

"What's up" Said the raven, only now seeing that Roxas didn't leave them behind as he usually did; he was right there next to his brother, arms crossed over his chest and staring at him "Good morning to you too!"

Ventus smiled and turned to Roxas. The older of the twins had agreed on staying with them during the morning, even if not too happy about doing it (Roxas was willing to do anything as long as it made Ven happy, actually). The younger blonde then took the lead and the other two followed.

"Did you study the file I sent you?"

"A little" Vanitas yawned and Ventus raised an eyebrow.

"You didn't even open it, did you?"

"Clever boy!" Mocked the older teen, unable to take his eyes off Roxas. What was he now, a bodyguard for his little bro? "What matters is... Do you think you can focus on the game knowing we're having a test after, little Ven?"

And Ventus did. He played so well that he actually won, smilingly proudly to an irritated Vanitas. On the same break they started yet another game and Ienzo watched them play, giving his opinion on Vanitas' moves all the time. It was clear to him that the only way to get something out of the black-haired boy was challenging him like that and Ventus soon realized that as well.

"You have to play more carefully... There's no need to rush" Said Ven while Vanitas took another picture of their pieces alignment over the chessboard "You're too desperate to win!"

"Fine, fine. Whatever!" He put his cellphone in his poket "Let's just go back to the classroom"

Thanks to Ienzo, Ventus now understood Chemistry better than before and managed to get himself a good grade on that test, unlike some of his friends. In the following day, however, he freaked out during Xemnas' test, more due to his intimidating presence than to the exam itself. He left the classroom depressed, joining Sora and Roxas in their sadness.

"Man, he really wants us to fail, doesn't he?" Cried Sora while they walked back to the school's gate.

"If this was our first one, just imagine what awaits us in the future" Said Roxas, Sora and Ventus now even more down.

"The second one is easier" It was Vanitas, approaching the three boys. Roxas glared at him and he continued, not looking to any of them in particular "He always gives the worst of his tests in the beginning, then comes the easiest one and, in the end, there's an assignment. Pretty hard to fail if you ask me"

"Hmm... So why did you fail two years in a row, I wonder?" Asked Roxas suddenly. Ventus widened his eyes, staring to his brother angrily and Sora didn't react, tense.

"Because I wanted to, blondie. Want another reason?" Replied Vanitas, his voice making clear that he certainly didn't luike that comment but held it in. Ventus sighed; those sudden reactions from Roxas bothered him.

"Don't mind my brother!" Ventus said, glaring at him "He's having a bad hair day"

The two stared at each other and Sora, not knowing where to go, walked a little slower not to get in the way.

"Relax!" Exclaimed Vanitas and, satisfied with the anger reflected in the eyes of the older twin, put his arm around Ventus neck, bringing him closer to himself and making Ventus blush desperately "Your brother is just jealous of you"

"Hands off my brother!" Exclaimed Roxas, all the students who walked next to them now turning their attention to the boys. Ventus tried to say something but before he could Vanitas had already let go of him.

"Okay, okay! Geez!" Vanitas put his hands in his pants' pockets and walkd with them to the gates. When they arrived, he said goodbye and sat on the sidewalk of the street corner where he always stood, taking his cigarette pack out of his backpack. The three kept on going and Ventus waited until they were far enough to say something.

"Why do you hate him?" He questioned, not raising his voice but clearly irritated.

"I don't hate him, Ven! But I also don't want him getting in our way! It's annoying!"

"Fine, but he did nothing wrong back there! Did you need to talk to him like that?"

"Seriously, why do you like him anyway? He only talks to you because you won't leave him alone! That's not friendship!"

"You don't know what I know about him, Rox!"

"You know nothing about him, Ven!"

That discussion didn't make them stop talking to each like the last one did, but it was more than enough for Sora to stay quiet all the way to his house while they shouted at one another. He lowered his head.

Maybe he could still turn around and stay with Vanitas?


	17. Chapter 17

The students' discontent didn't wear off until the next day when their History tests were returned by Aqua. She was always the first teacher to return them, exactly one week after they were done, and as soon as she arrived in class she started to call for her students.

"Ventus and Vanitas!"

The blonde quickly stood up and walked to her with somewhat of worry in his eyes. Seconds later however he returned to his desk with a big smile while holding their test sheet before Vanitas "We got 9 out of 10! 9 out of 10! We make a good team, uh?!"

Vanitas merely crossed his arms and smiled ironically "He. Not bad for a certain someone who couldn't stop shaking that day. Don't you agree, Ven?"

That was enough to wipe Ventus' smile from his face as he turned red.

On thursday the two of them went to their usual spot to play chess. Since they played there almost every day of the week, they soon were noticed by the school monitors and even by other students. Occasionally some of them even went there and watched them play while making some comments. Ventus didn't mind, unlike Vanitas who'd speak in a loud voice about nosy people and those who had nothing better to do than watch them play.

On friday, however, they didn't play. Everyone who received Ventus' and Roxas' resume of Saix's lesson went to their spot that day and studied the file in a hurry, each one of them with their cellphone in hand. Vanitas sat on the floor with his back against the wall, watching his colleague's despair with a relaxed smile on his face while they made questions to each other.

Xion sighed "I've had enough of being humiliated by Xemnas... I wish I didn't fail on Saix' test as well"

"Everyone will fail, Xi" Replied Sora, accepting his fate and sitting next to Vanitas "Let's just chill while we wait for the next class"

"Sora, stop being lazy!" Exclaimed Ventus. Riku laughed and Sora started to talk nonsense, trying to change the subject. Ven, seeing as everyone's focus was slowly being lost, tried to call his friends' attention.

"Guys, come on! We don't have much time left, we need to-"

"You don't have much time for what?" The students looked around to see who it was. Axel waved to all of them "Hey, you're on fire today! It's not every friday that everyone gathers here!"

"Hi, Axel!" Greeted Sora. Roxas said a very low 'hi' and turned his attention back to his device once again "We're not here for a very good reason, though"

"Saix's test is today!" Exclaimed Xion, covering her face with both hands and giving up.

"Saix's test? Hmmm..." Axel frowned. Did the teacher forget to tell him about it? If that was the case, they probably wouldn't have time to discuss his final course assignment today...

"We're doomed!" Continued the girl, nervous "I swear I studied at home, but this subject makes no sense whatsoever!"

The others agreed except Ienzo who, although with a better understanding of it than his friend, was also having some difficulty and tried to help the others without success. Axel smiled to them and walked to Xion, caressing her head.

"Relax, girl! You'll do just fine! Everyone's studying together, isn't that right?"

"Yeah, but no one understands shit" Laughed Vanitas, sincere.

"Yeah, we're all pretty lost this time. It's too much content to understand" Agreed Riku.

"Well, you two seem to be pretty cool about it though" Axel turned around to face Sora and Vanitas. The black-haired teen nodded without interest.

"Sora already studied at home. Vanitas doesn't care" Said Roxas, looking from one to the other "That's not what I'd call being pretty cool about"

"Ah, come on, everyone. It can't be that hard! What exactly don't you understand? Maybe I can help you"

"Can you teach us everything from day one?" Xion said playfully, giving Axel her cellphone so he could read the file they were studying.

"Okay... yeah, that's a lot of stuff, but I think we can try... Alright, what do you wanna know?"

Except for Roxas, who was quiet all the time, every student asked Axel to explain one thing or two. He didn't remember everything in the terms they used now but it helped to be studying something that involved all of that. In ten minutes, he managed to calm his friend's nerves a little bit, speaking slowly and giving them examples of easy understanding. Once the bell rang everyone said goodbye and returned to the classroom but Ventus stood and walked to him.

"You know, we barely have time to chat due to our classes but, if you'd like to, we could go out one of those days together!" Maybe it was kinda risky to invite the young man like this, even though they all liked him a lot. At that moment, however, he only thought about Roxas and how he was always mute next to him "If you have a cellphone, we could also talk through messages!"

Axel smiled "Sure, why not? Here" He gave Ventus his number and the blonde thanked him, now walking back to the classroom. Vanitas was waiting for him.

"You two going out for a date?" He asked but Ventus didn't mind. He was getting used to Vanitas' behavior and so he ignored his comment and changed the subject.

Although Axel couldn't talk to Saix that day (The professor apologized deeply for that) he decided to wait for the teens to leave class so he could talk to them a little bit more. When they were all back to the schoolyard, Sora said goodbye to his friends and left with Riku. Vanitas accompanied the twins - Ventus wouldn't shut up for a second! -, and it was him who saw Axel walking to them.

"So, how did it go?" He asked, holding his folder under his arms.

"Well... Kinda good, I guess?" Replied Ven, being interrupted by Vanitas.

"You mean kinda crappy"

"Nah, it really was pretty good. Better than I thought it would be, at least" He laughed to himself.

"What about you, Roxas? How did you do?" Continued the young man, a little unsettled by his silence. The teen thought for a little bit before speaking.

"I don't know... Probably fine. Your explanations during the break actually helped a lot, Axel" Roxas smiled and he did the same.

"Great! Time to go home, then!" Suggested him and the four then took their leave.

"Are you from Twilight Town too?" Asked Ventus, taking a glance at his brother.

"Nope, I'm from the neighboor city, Radiant Garden. I just come here every friday, it's just a 20 minutes trip"

"How long before you graduate from college?" It was Roxas to Ventus' content. The younger blonde took a step to the other side, forcing Vanitas to do the same.

"Just a few more months! Hopefully I'll graduate in July!"

"And what are you getting a degree in?"

"Human and Social Sciences!" Axel smiled proudly. He started to tell Roxas about its courses even before he asked, which was great since Rox didn't really knew exactly what to ask. Ventus turned to Vanitas with a big smile on his face and he, understanding what was probably going on, let both talk without saying a word.

"I got his number!" Exclaimed Ventus when he was alone with his brother.

"You what?!"

"What? It's no big deal! At least we can talk to him more often now"

Roxas rolled his eyes but he was thankful for that. Unlike Ventus, he didn't have too much predisposition to get close to people, to meet them or simply to say something. He didn't like how Ventus was getting attached to Vanitas like that and yes he was jealous of his little brother, but deep inside he wished he could make friends as easily as Ventus.

"...Thanks"

And Ventus and Vanitas... Their chess matches actually made them get closer to each other and talk more during their classes. Vanitas hardly started a conversation,but as soon as the blonde started to speak he didn't take long to reply. Due to their hell's week everyone was always busy and nervous, but even when they were discussing their tests' contents, Ventus usually got him to stay with them too. Although he was quieter among other people, he didn't seem to be uncomfortable. Even on weekends Ventus managed to message him a few times. It was only silly stuff, like funny pictures or jokes, but for Ventus the mere fact that he actually replied was great.

On tuesday of the next week Demyx entered the classroom eevn more excited than he usually was. The students were so focused on their tests that they completely forgot the musical instruments that were supposed to arrive today. The teacher put a hand on his waist, waiting until they were silent.

"I have good and bad news for you, guys!" He said once everyone looked at him "The bad... Is that we'll have to share the instruments since we didn't get too many of-"

Everyone shouted joyfully. If they would need to share, that meant they had them! Demyx laughed.

"Alright, you already know the good one. Come on, let's go, but in silence please!"

It was not possible to stay silent while they followed their teacher, all of them anxious in some way. Ventus walked slowly behind the other students and Vanitas slowed down as well to stay close to him, noting how he said nothing until now.

"... What are you thinking about?"

"Do you... Do you think they got an electric keyboard?" He asked hopeless. When they got to the classroom where they'd have classes now they stared to each other. There were two bass guitars, three electric guitars, three high tom-toms, a snare drum and five flutes. Maybe it wasn't much for a class with 30 students but for who had nothing, those were more than enough.

Demyx stood before them "I really wish we had a complete drum set, guys... But we can apply what I taught you about rhythm at least. Everything is in very good state and we also have drumsticks so we can make some cool noise in here!" He smiled "Do any of you play an instrument?"

Even those who did said nothing, taken over by shyness. Ventus looked to Vanitas, smiling as always.

"Now you'll be able to play again, Vanitas, until you get a guitar for youself!"

The raven said nothing, trying to understand why that blonde looked so happy even though he wouldn't be able to play what he wanted. Demyx continued to speak, explaining how their classes would work from now on and how they'd see the musical theory in a way that could be reproduced there. He also made it clear that they would need to choose five students to stay with the flutes and that those couldn't be changed. Knowing every teen in that room was excited, he let them spend their time trying out eevry instrument they could.

Xion got herself a high tom-tom "Hey, Rox! Check this out!" She drummed a little bit with her hands in a lost rhythm and soon other joined her and tried to play songs that they knew with no success. Despite his dead silence, Vanitas was dying to play one of the electric guitars and Ven realized that just by the way he looked at them.

"Want me to get one for you? I'll bring it here and-"

"I don't play" He replied suddenly "Just a few notes. And I don't want to play among everyone else"

"Are you shy? You don't need to be!" Ventus pointed to Sora, who was trying to play something with a bass guitar and laughed at his own incapability "Everyone is just having fun, no one would mock you or anything"

"Maybe next time"

Ventus didn't insist on it. Instead, he waited behind the other students who wanted to play it as well. He knew nothing about string musical instruments but wanted to try it out and once it was his turn, he chose the red and black one.

It was lighter than he imagined but he was totally lost and didn't even know where to start. He risked playing a few notes and was happy once the sound came out, even if it made no sense. It felt weird to just stand there, a little tense even if there was no one waiting in line to play after him. A few seconds passed and Ventus was already giving up when Vanitas walked to him, serious.

"Your turn?" Offered Ven. The older boy looked impatient and somehow... Hesitant? He remained quiet for a while before speaking.

"You're holding it wrong"

The blonde didn't get it at first. Vanitas then got even closer to him and adjusted the instrument in the hands of the boy, showing him how to hold it with ease.

"This way you can move your fingers... And strum the guitar without worrying about letting it fall" He explained. Ventus followed his instructions and, just a little later, played a random sequences of notes. The boy looked to the guitar for a few seconds without saying a word and then to the older boy, waiting for his reaction.

Yeah... Much better now" Said the raven and Ventus smiled happily. Vanitas raised an eyebrow and, captivated by the happiness of the boy just in playing a few notes, smiled as well.


	18. Chapter 18

That friday they would have their last test of the month. Everyone was happy, especially because it wouldn't be too difficult: Biology. On those last weeks they found out that Marluxia was of the most dedicated teachers of the school. He loved to teach and did so with ease. No one seemed really worried about failing because they all enjoyed and understood his lessons.

The test was after the break. Ventus wanted to buy something to eat that day and called Vanitas to go with him. Maybe he would buy the same chocolate he gave him that other day. The two silently waited in line until it was their turn.

"Do you want something? He asked but Vanitas denied "Okay. I want... A Lucky Lucky!" Said Ven, paying for it and getting the candy. The boy then went to their usual spot, neither of them wanting to play chess that day, and were surprised to see Sora, Riku, Roxas and Xion there.. It looked like they were waiting for them to arrive and Xion pointed to them as they got closer.

"Hey, guys!" Greeted Ven, offering his chocolate to his friends "Any news?"

"We were talking about today's test" Began Riku "It will be our last before we're free and we all agreed we should celebrate!"

"Celebrate is kind of an excuse, but we can go with that I guess" Played Sora.

"An excuse for what, exactly?" Wondered Ven.

"For us to go to the mall tomorrow! We we're thinking about watching a movie of just enjoy our free time"

"Yeah, we could also play something in the arcades! And there's also bowling!" Said Roxas.

Ventus smiled, already imagining how it would be "Sure! It'll be awesome" He turned to Vanitas "You're going too, right?"

"I don't know. I'm out of money" He replied not in the mood.

"We won't spend too much there! Unless you want to, of course" Said Xion "And I think no one would mind buying you lunch!"

"Yeah! It'll be cool, Vanitas!" Insisted Ventus and Vanitas looked to him, wondering what it would be like. He wouldn't allow anyone to buy him anything of course and he would have denied it right away if it wasn't by the way the blonde looked to him. Vanitas sighed.

"Fine. I'll go" He replied at last, Ventus smiling even happier now. Roxas continued.

"We just need to call Ienzo as well and we're all set!"

"What if we called Axel too?" Suggested his brother, making him wide his eyes "I have his number.. And, well, I did say he could spend more time with us. What do you think?"

"Sure, call him as well!" Agreed Xion.

"Yeah, he's cool! No problem at all!" Sora said. Roxas shook his head in disbelief but smiled softly to Ven. Success! The younger twin took his cellphone out of his pocket - He got used to walking with it now, just like Vanitas did - and sent Axel a message.

They walked home happily after the test, their expectations very high. Ventus said goodbye to Vanitas and continued his conversation with brother while the black-haired teen followed his path alone. He was going straight home that day; he needed to find a job but had forgotten his CVs over the desk in his bedroom.

Friday once again. Time was passing by fast and he could only imagine how vacation would be. Luckily he could find some odd jobs when he wasn't studying to stay away from home at least...

Vanitas went straight into his bedroom, not without noting that there were no bottles of beer around. A tense feeling settled in his stomach; deep inside, he preferred his father drunk. Under the alcohol's effect he didn't use too much force and consequently ended up calmer than usual. Hoping he wasn't home, Vanitas entered his bedroom without checking and locked the door.

After changing clothes and making his bed, he walked to his wardrobe to check how much money he had left. There wasn't much in his wallet, just enough to buy his cigarettes and lighters, but he kept the rest in his wardrobe, deep inside in a place his father couldn't find. Counting what he still had, Vanitas sighed depressed. He shouldn't spend that money with foolishness but he really wanted to go to the mall the next day.

But why? He didn't even enjoy going out, even less with many people like that. The last time he went to the mall had been to buy a shirt a long time ago. Not to mention that he was always alone; thinking about the mess he was gonna face was enough to make him give up... And perhaps he'd really do it, but he would say nothing for now. Ventus was way too happy for him to simply say no minutes after agreeing to go. At the same time, why should he care? It wasn't like they were real friends; he merely tolerated him while they walked together. Or at least that's what he told himself.

He left his room, his CVs now in his backpack, and took a quick glance to his father's bedroom. Xehanort was sitting on the bed and talking on the phone; there was a cynical smile on his face and he was apparently taking advantage of something. Vanitas hoped he didn't see him leaving...

When he arrived home around 7PM, he found out that he had been seen.

"So" Began Xehanort from the couch in their living room and Vanitas stopped as soon as he entered. It was something he had learned to do since he was a child, when he would still be beaten simply for looking away or trying to explain himself. He closed his fingers around the handler of his backpack, not looking to his father "I hope all that hurry to leave home was because you were doing something useful for once"

"I'm looking for a job" Replied the teenager, still looking to the opposite direction.

"The time for looking is up! You should already be working, helping with the house!"

"I do what I can, dad. It's not my fault if you want more than that"

"Of course it's your fault!" Xehanort stood up and approached his son, glaring at him "You would still be working if you didn't mess up the last one at the ice cream shop!"

"You don't even know what happened!" Retorted Vanitas. His last job had given him a reasonable amount of money even if he worked only part-time. But of course something bad had to happen and here he was again, unemployed "And why such a hurry, anyway? What do you want to pay with my money this time?"

"It's none of you business" Said Xehanort, irritated "As long as you're under my roof, you'll do as I say! And don't you dare deny it!"

"Or what?" Exclaimed Vanitas, aware that he was gonna pay for that. It was one of the rules he was always breaking and Xehanort hated whenever he broke a rule. The adult hit him in his temple without thinking twice and Vanitas, disoriented, felt his father's fingers close around his shoulder with force, gradually pressing it more.

"Or you'll have to learn it the hard way, you damn brat! Do you want this?!"

Vanitas didn't answer, staring to the floor.

"Do you want this, boy?!"

"No, sir"

"Look me in the eyes when I'm talking to you!"

Against his will, he lifted his head and did as he was told. He hated those eyes. He hated to see his reflection in them and lose himself in empty possibilities.

"No, sir"

He hated to have them. Those damn yellow eyes of his father.

* * *

"Is he coming?"

Ventus received Axel's reply around 4PM on that same day. He accepted the invitation , even telling them he'd be free the entire saturday. Ventus told his parents about this, of course, and both asked as much as they could about the young man.

"He comes once a week to school and stays with us in our classroom, because he's in college and our teacher is his adviser there! He even helped us in our Sociology test!"

"He's meeting you in the mall? How many of you are going?" Asked the boys' mom.

"Ahm... Both of us, Sora, Riku, Xion and Ienzo" Said Roxas.

"And Vanitas!"

"If he goes!"

"He said he'll go!"

"Boys!" It was their father calling for their attention. Ventus replied.

"Oh yeah, I gave him the adress to the mall and a few landmarks as well" There were few minutes of silence before their mother spoke.

"Why don't we do it the other way? Give him our adress, we meet him here, and then you're free to go"

Roxas coughed, apparently choking in his rice. By the end of the day they decided that Axel would drive to their home first to meet their parents. Roxas was nervous for the rest of the night, but Ven managed to calm him down a little bit although he felt nervous himself. It would be the first time he would be with Vanitas outside of school... Not that it meant too much, but it was something he started looking forward to.

On the next day, a little after midday, their house bell rang. Roxas widened his eyes and Ventus ran down the stairs to get to the door. He opened it with a smile already on his lips.

"Heya!" Axel waved happily. He wore jeans pants and a shirt as red as his hair, highlighting his green eyes "How are you doing, Ventus?"

The boys' parents quickly came to the door as well, greeting the newcomer. They were soon captivated by how lovable he was and they talked calmly for a few minutes before Roxas arrived. He greeted Axel as well and returned to his quieter self. The young man even made sure the adults had his phone number in case they wanted or needed to talk to him and, once everything was settled, they left. The were all going on foot and would meet with Sora halfway before joining everyone else at the mall.

"Twilight Town... Living here seems so peaceful. Or at least more peaceful than living in my town"

"It depends where you live, though" Said Ventus, shrugging "Sora doesn't live in a very nice place"

"Oh yeah, what about Saix' test? Did you get it back? Sorry for interrupting you, Ven"

"Not yet" Replied Roxas "Saix said his eyes were bleeding from reading so much garbage and he'll only try it again next week"

"Oh my God!" Axel laughed out loud. He knew Saix pretty well and he was really capable of saying something like that.

Soon they saw not only Sora mas also Riku waiting for them on the other side of the street. The five friends them followed their path laughing and chatting until they arrived at their meeting point, inside the mall next to the movie theather.

Everyone was happy that Axel had come too and offered him a warm welcome just like they did at school. Xion, who had gotten pretty close to him, soon was talking about books and series, perfect subjects for Roxas to join in as well. Sora and Riku, of course, wouldn't stop speaking for a second and Ienzo stood close to Ven. There was no one else.

Ienzo knew Ventus would feel down due to Vanitas absence so he quickly tried to get his spirits up "I think he's just late. Are you with your cellphone? If anything happened, he's sure to send you a message... Or you can send him one as well"

"Yeah... Maybe" Ventus said. He really wanted him to come with them so it was impossible to hide just how upset he was. Roxas realized Vanitas wasn't there and, as much as he disliked him, felt sad on seeing his brother like that.

"Do you guys wanna check the movies? Maybe we could even watch something!" Sugested Sora and they followed him, checking which movies were going to be released and the ones that were showing. The laughter and jokes restarted right there, with Sora comparing his friends to the actors in the posters.

"What about this 'Birth by Sleep'', do you guys know what it is about?" Asked Xion. In the poster there were three people wearing armor in what looked like a graveyard, many creatures surrounding them. They discussed what it could possibly be about but soon left to take a walk around the place.

Spending time together was the real goal that day and that's what they did. Thanks to Xion, Roxas now felt more relaxed next to Axel and soon the three of them were laughing at one another while checking the many things they wanted to buy but had no money to. Ienzo didn't leave Ventus' side, going with him to the games' store where they delighted themselves. Ven smiled, but it was clear that he wasn't as happy as he could be.

They finally decided to eat something and then go to the arcades to have some fun and were all together waiting in line to get themselves milkshakes when Ven felt his cellphone vibrate. It was a message.

'''

 **Vanitas**

 _Something unexpected came up, I just got here. Where are you?_

 _''''_

Ienzo was sure of what it was. It could only be a message from Vanitas to make his friends get so happy all of sudden.

Ventus replied immediately, telling him where they were and left the line to wait for him, looking to both sides with attention. The others were already being served when he felt someone touch his shoulder from behind. He jumped and turned around at once.

Maybe it was the place or simply because he arrived out of a sudden, but Ventus could swear he had never seen the boy's eyes shine so much like they did now. He was wearing a black shirt with a blue stamp that said Chaos Ripper (A rock band's name, maybe?) and a black ring in his right hand. Ventus just stood there for a while looking to him... Then he realized. He had really come!

"Hi!" Exclaimed the boy, all smiles. Vanitas gave him a soft, kind of weak and tired smile, running his hand through his black hair.

"Had a few problems on my way, that's why I took long. But here I am. Where's everyone else?"

Ventus pointed to the others and they greeted him from afar. No one said anything about it but the contrast between Vanitas, wearing only black, and Ventus, with his light and happy clothing and blonde hair, was kinda unique. Roxas raised an eyebrow not saying anything but Axel, of course, smiled nicely to him.

"I forgot your name!" Said the redhead when they left the line and walked to both of them.

"Vanitas"

"That's right! It's great that you came, man. We're going for the arcades now"

"Arcaaaades!" Exclaimed Sora and Ven joined him, now acting just like the bouncy Ventus they were all used to. Vanitas, now the second older of them, didn't look as happy but nodded in agreement. Now that he was here, he'd have to endure.

"I still think we should play bowling" Riku spoke.

"Not everyone came with enough money, though, Riku" Replied Ienzo, who walked next to Xion. He would leave Ventus with Vanitas from now on.

"One day we gotta come here to play it, then!" Suggested Axel, so comfortable that it was as if he even studied with them "We can buy some stuff to eat and spend the afternoon here"

"I'd like that!" Said Xion.

"Me too!" Agreed Roxas, smiling and being followed by everyone else.

Vanitas was quiet for most of the time. He wasn't used to going out with such noisy people like that and, honestly, he still wasn't sure why he had even come. Ventus then grabbed him by the arm without warning.

"Look!"

He pulled him to a Musical Instruments store, being followed by his friends when they saw where he was going. Vanitas imagined he had seen a piano or electric keyboard, but he went straight to the electric guitars.

"Which one of them is your favourite?" He asked, staring to all of them in awe. There weren't too many, but just enough for them to want one. Vanitas took a look, not finding the one he was looking for.

"The one I had was a Void Gear. I don't think they sell those around here"

"Rikuuu!" This time it was Vanitas who jumped, scared by Sora's sudden call when he ran to the bass guitars and showed his friends the one they had played (Or at least tried to play) at school. They spent some time in there, wishing there were bigger stores like that one around.

"Did you take classes? Or did you study by yourself?" Ventus asked the raven, really excited; he wanted to ask him as much as possible while they were together like that.

"I took some classes online. Couldn't play much because of school and work"

"Couldn't you play on weekends?"

"...My father hates noise"

Ventus had thought about that for some time now, but ever since Vanitas said he lived alone, more than a month ago, it was obvious he was lying. And just to mention his father was enough to leave him clearly uncomfortable... Ven changed the subject.

"We went to the theather! There are some cool movies available now, and one called Birth By Sleep looks really great! We could watch it someday!"

"If I can afford it" Replied the older boy with his hands in his pants' pocket. Beside them, the chatting of their friends only got louder and louder.

They finally arrived at the place with the arcades. But that wasn't all: There were driving games, basketball games, toys for children and all kind of things for adults and kids to enjoy. Ienzo and Xion went to check for the stuff they could buy with tickets. Axel bragged about how he was oh so good at those driving games and challenged Roxas for a match. Vanitas didn't hold much interested in anything there so he simply walked around whenever Ventus was.

Then the blonde stopped before a claw machine.

"Are you going to try and get another plushie, Ven?" Asked Sora as he and Riku walked past him. The boy blushed.

"Sora!" He exclaimed.

"What? You always try at least once, I just wanted to kn-!" Sora didn't get why Ventus was blushing like that and Riku looked at him, apologizing in silence.

"Come on, Sora, let's play something else" Said the silver haired boy, pulling Sora with him ('What did I do wrong?! _'_ ). Ventus awkwardly watched them leave, not realizing that Vanitas had not even moved and just stood there watching him.

"So..." The older teen started "Are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Gonna try your luck on the machine?" Replied Vanitas slightly impatient. Still a little awkward, Ventus turned to the many plushies that he could get and stared to them for a few seconds.

"Well... I liked... That little dog over there!" He said, pointing to the stuffed animal inside. Both were silent for a while (Ventus could still feel his face burning) when Vanitas broke the silence.

"You need to buy a ticket"

"Oh... Oh yeah" They went to get the tickets. Although Ven was embarassed, Vanitas didn't really seem to mind that. Perhaps it was pure disinterest but it was still better than if he had said something.

Ventus then went back to the machine and started the game. A repetitive and annoying music started to play when he took control over the crane. With calm and focus, he directed it just over the plushie he wanted and pressed the button... Only to miss it for a matter of millimeters.

"Ah, damn it. I'll try it again!"

He put another ticket; he always bought three of them and was going to spend them right there.

"The claw will miss if you leave it hovering like that" Said Vanitas, arms crossed over his chest. Ventus nodded, trying to put it in the 'correct' position, but he lost once again.

"Just one more" Lamented the boy before trying for the last time. He was so serious and focused on it that he didn't see the older boy approaching him, now standing very close and observing the claw's movements with the same attention as the smaller boy.

"No, not there" He said while Ventus tried to position it over and over again "No, no, you'll miss it again"

"Then where?" He asked desperate.

"Here, let me try!" Decided Vanitas at last and, without looking, put his hand over the controls thinking that Ventus had already let go. He thought wrong.

Ven fully widened his eyes when he felt Vanitas' hand close over his, forgot the game that had just begun and turned to him. For a second that seemed to last too long, he blushed even more than before while Vanitas looked at him, still unsure of what was this feeling that those yellow eyes awakened in him.

The blonde took his hand away fast, not able to turn his gaze away and breathed a 'sorry' under his breath. Vanitas still looked to him before laughing and turning his attention back to the machine.

"Relax. Here, pay attention" He said. Ventus watched while he moved the claw around, just not as focused as before. Once he saw the dog being grabbed by the claw, however, he opened his mouth-

"You did-"

and then it fell.

"Oh, well. That was a close one" Said Vanitas. Ven nodded without reacting further and nnot knowing what else to say, told Vanitas they should go to their friends. He agreed and Ventus hoped he wouldn't tell anyone about that.

Roxas and Axel tied in their game and laughed happily while telling the others about it. Riku was still mocking Sora who had lost from 5 to 0 and Ienzo and Xion used their tickets to buy some silly rewards for their friends. When the two arrived, Sora looked to his friend.

"No luck this time, Ven?"

"Yeah..." Replied Ventus, avoiding eye contact with anyone else but Sora. Vanitas was just looking to them without paying too much attention and he kept quiet until the end of the day, when they finally went back home.

That night, Ventus would spend a long time thinking about why he had, once again, felt that way while staring into those yellow eyes. And Vanitas...

Vanitas began to wonder why exactly he was getting closer to that boy.


	19. Chapter 19

From the day they went to the mall those students spent more time together at school. Most of the time they gathered in Ventus' and Vanitas' usual spot, the place next to the entrance of the school, where they would all spend the break chatting or just relaxing until the next class.

Vanitas was accepted as part of the group by everyone, even if he didn't want to be. It didn't take long for the raven to notice the others were talking more often with him now and were getting used to his silent presence but it still felt... Weird to him. Ventus of course was always close, and unlike some people thought it would happen, Vanitas didn't complain about that. His only complaint was about how they were now constantly surrounded by others.

That wasn't the only thing that changed though. Vanitas constantly found himself thinking about Ventus, trying to understand why they were getting close like this. With each passing day he felt more and more comfortable around him, even if he hid that very well. Maybe it was the way Ventus was always smiling or even the way he expressed himself without fear or shame. It was something truly genuine, something Vanitas hadn't seen for a long time, at least not with so much innocence.

If anyone asked Vanitas the real reason why he got angry with this sudden every day presence of their colleagues though, he'd swear he didn't really care about it. He told himself everyday he didn't care. But the truth was he wished he could spend more time with Ventus alone. And that was because, for some reason, his days were empty as they always had been, except when there was a ( _stupid and irritating and-_ ) giggling blonde beside him.

At home, this one blonde had finally started to talk about Vanitas to his parents. Roxas rolled his eyes whenever he started but never said anything in order not to upset him. He, on the other hand, saw no problem in talking about Axel. From the moment he, Xion and Axel started to laugh together at the mall he felt they could be good friends and now instant messaged each other every day. Sometimes Ventus asked him about those feelings he had when he saw the redhead for the first time, but Roxas never talked much about it. He wasn't as tense as he was before though and that was enough to make Ventus happy.

That friday Axel decided to go earlier to the school so he could spend more time with his friends during their break. He arrived just in time to see them all gathering and... Ienzo and Vanitas talking? There was a smug smile on Vanitas' lips while he listened to Ienzo, their classmates now finding themselves a spot to sit on the floor and listening to their conversation.

"So? Will you accept it? Or are you scared of losing?" Asked Ienzo.

Vanitas always told himself that the reason he was practicing chess so much was to win a match against Ienzo and, of course, make him regret mocking him when he still didn't know how to play. So when the boy challenged him for a match he didn't think twice before accepting it.

"Let's make a bet" Contionued Ienzo, cracking his knuckles.

"Go ahead"

"You know that Biology's assignment we're supposed to bring next week? Well... Whoever loses..."

"Will have to do the winner's assignment as well!" Vanitas completed and Ienzo nodded to everyone's surprise.

"You... Betting on something like that, Ien?!" Questioned Ventus in shock.

"Something's not quite right here" Agreed Sora.

Ienzo grinned. He knew Vanitas would do whatever he could to get a good grade without doing anything and that was the perfect thing to bet. He had watched him play against Ventus all those days and knew how he played, which gave him an advantage. Not to mention that Vanitas was impulsive; when surrounded, he'd make reckless decisions which led him to defeat. Ienzo could win easily and the look he gave the older boy made this clear.

Vanitas smile widened "Well then. Why don't you start the match, Ien?"

The two of them sat on the floor just like Ventus and Vanitas always did. They aligned the pieces on the chess board which was between them and their friends got closer to see more clearly. Ventus sat right next to Vanitas and was entertained by the way he stared to Ienzo; he was really willing to win that match!

There was absolute silence. Ienzo didn't take his eyes off Vanitas, who looked pretty calm but kept reminding himself not to lose to the nerd. They were all pretty silent and some of them made a comment or two through the match, but overall everyone was really focused on the game. As they moved their pieces around, Ventus looked from one to the other, delighted to see how serious both were. However, after ten minutes playing things started to get dangerous; Ienzo had taken seven pieces from Vanitas and the older boy, of course, couldn't hide his anger. He really didn't want to do that assignment but do it two times? He'd rather be suspended!

"I think someone's gonna have to work twice this weekend" Mocked Ienzo. Vanitas didn't even as much look to him.

"The match isn't over yet, brat"

"Ah, but it'll be soon" Replied Ienzo and moved his Rook two houses to the left "Check."

Their friends got a little closer to see. Vanitas was surrounded by the Rook and if he moved to the wrong place he would lose the King. He narrowed his eyes, looking for an exit while Ienzo, in some way, relaxed. The bell rang but nobody moved, everyone excited for the outcome.

Vanitas let out a sigh. Instead of moving his King, like he should have, he moved the Queen to protect it. That was exactly what Ienzo wanted so he would be free to take that piece and finish the gam-

Vanitas had him in check.

"Wait... What, wait a sec-" What?! Damn it! He was so sure of Vanitas' next move that he let that one piece free and now it was he who was surrounded. He couldn't believe it, that wasn't possible!

"What happened? Cat got your tongue?" Vanitas smirked and waited for Ienzo to move. He waited for a few seconds, tried to find a way out but there was none. How could he let himself be fooled like this?!

"... I can't believe it" He whispered after making his last move.

"Check Mate!" Vanitas finished, smiling nonchalantly. Ienzo let out a sigh.

"He won?!" Riku gasped.

"Ienzo lost?!" Exclaimed Roxas and soon they were all talking about it, exasperated. Ventus started to laugh and Vanitas crossed his arms.

"Who's the one who doesn't know how to play now, eh Ienzo?" Laughed Vanitas. He was fully enjoying that feeling of victory, especially because he had wanted that for a long time and loved everything about it but mainly the look on Ienzo's face. It was when Ventus shouted an _Yay!_ and hugged him from behind.

"You did it, Vani!"

Vanitas widened his eyes, losing his breath for a second. Ventus was hugging him tightly, happy as he could be, while the others spoke excitedly about the match. The raven didn't move still trying to react to that and felt something weird inside him. That hug, a simple and quick hug, made his mind stop and his stomach turn. It felt... Caring. Ven was truly happy for him.

"Sorry!" Quickly apologized the blonde, letting go of him but not really ashamed of what he just did. Vanitas looked to him, still not knowing how to react not only beause of the hug but also because of what Ventus called him.

 _Vani_. He had been called like that before but it had always been in a pejorative way, reason why he didn't like that nickname. It always made him think of bad experiences and all the bullshit he had been through, but when Ventus called him like that he felt no anger or anything like it. He felt... Weird. And very, very confused. For a second he did nothing and only recovered from the surprise when Xaldin came to send them all back to the classroom.

Once everyone got up he finally spoke again, glancing to Ienzo with a playful expression "Well... We still have some time left before turning in Marly's assignment so... Do it nicely, okay?"

Ienzo didn't reply, surprised that he lost focus and lost to him. His friends fooled around, saying they were very sorry and wishing him a speedy recovery but it didn't take long for him to leave that behind and change the subject; it had been a good match and he wasn't a bad loser so he joined his friends as they walked back to the class, leaving Axel and Roxas behind.

"Your brother..." Started the older man "How long has he known Vanitas?"

Roxas didn't understand the reason behind that sudden question, but replied "Since... A few days after we arrived at school. I don't know why he got so attached to him"

Axel smiled to him "But you do see the way Ven looks to him, don't you?"

The blonde looked away, seeing his brother happily talking to Vanitas from afar. Ventus didn't talk much to him about that so it was hard to understand what was his point. Axel laughed.

"Go to the classroom, Rox, or you'll be in trouble. I'll be there in a few minutes!" He said and winked to Roxas, who smiled to him and then went for another boring lesson.

* * *

At the end of the day Vanitas said goodbye to his classmates and went to the bathroom alone before leaving. Once he left school however and followed his way home, he heard someone calling his name and narrowed his eyes; he knew who it was.

"Heya, Vani!" Greeted Max, approaching him with his hands behind his back. Next to him were the same friends who helped him during their little fight more than a month ago, Pete and Julius "How are you doing?"

"What do you want?" Vanitas asked, surly.

"Oh wow, I want nothing from you! Do you guys want something from him, boys?" His friends denied and laughed with what sounded like pity. The raven clenched his teeth and turned his back to them hoping they would leave him alone when Max continued "But that boy... The blonde..."

Vanitas stopped walking, turning to them without saying a word. What did he want from Ventus?

Max sneered "Yeah, that's right. That one. Tell me, asshole, isn't he the one who made fun of you in front of everyone?"

Made fun of him... Yeah, maybe it wasn't Ventus' intention back then but people did laugh at him. However, Vanitas didn't really care about that when it happened, even less now that they actually knew each other. It was Ventus, not him, who felt bad about it and apologized later... Then he saw him cleaning his wounds in the bathroom.

He turned his attention to the three boys before him "And?"

"And?" Max laughed, approaching his ex-classmate "Aaaand... The Vanitas I know wouldn't get this close to someone who made fun of him. What's wrong? Becoming a softie, are we?"

"Go fuck yourself!" Max would never leave him alone after what happened two years ago, that was a fact. They used to be friends before that until he found out about the abuse Vanitas suffered at home. Instead of helping him, he used that as an excuse to pick a fight with him, to mock him and make him feel even worse about it. That was the main reason Vanitas hated the teen and couldn't wait before he graduated and left school for once.

"Yeah, keep doing that! Get closer to him! Call him your 'friend', let him hug you like he did today... Thought we didn't see it? Just don't come back crying when you end up hurting him, 'cause I'm warning you now"

"I would never hurt Ven!" Retorted Vanitas without a second thought. The boys laughed.

"Ven? You're so intimate already!" Max approached him even more "It isn't enough to be a coward and a crybaby, so now you're a fag too, is it?"

Vanitas grabbed the teen by his shirt, losing his patience. Great. Great! Just what he needed on a friday "Call me a coward again and I'll break your fucking neck!"

But Max said no more. He didn't want to set him off now, not when there were so many people close by. He'd wait a while longer, enough for him to snap just like he did two years ago. Vanitas pushed him away and took his leave, taking just one step before Max spoke again in a low voice.

"Does your little buddy know about it?" He asked "Does he know you're afraid of daddy? That you cry at night while calling for mommy? Wait, that's too shameful, isn't it? You're better off hiding it from him, aren't you?"

Vanitas glared to him, his eyes glowing with anger "If you so much approach Ventus, you'll wish you had never known me, Max!"

The other boy smiled, protected by his two classmates "We'll see about that"

* * *

Two weeks had passed since Vanitas won the match against Ienzo. It was tuesday and the twins were walking to school when Roxas started to talk.

"You know, it's been a long time since Sora came to play with us at home"

"Indeed. He's spending more time with Riku lately" Said Ven.

Roxas thought a little bit "I... I was thinking if I could invite Axel home. You know, to spend the saturday with us?"

"If mom and dad are okay with it that would be awesome!"

"Yeah!" Roxas smiled "I'll ask him if he'd like to come"

"Cool! Then I'll ask Vanitas too!" Roxas stopped smiling, looking to his brother. Well, if he could call someone his brother might as well. It wasn't like he enjoyed the idea but he should at least respect his brother's will and his... Friends.

"Yeah, sure"

"Good morning, Vani!" Greeted Ventus when they arrived at the corner of the school's block where the older boy now waited for them everyday. He threw his cigarette away, brought his backpack closer and walked to the twins

"Morning" Vanitas stretched his arms above his head "Did you finish those Chemistry exercises? I wanted to check something"

"Of course! Once we get inside we c-" Ventus frowned, staring to him in surprise.

"What?" Vanitas raised an eyebrow.

"Ahhnn... Nothing!" He laughed and looked away. Vanitas asking about exercises? Really?

"Tch! What, you thought I couldn't do them?"

"That's not it! It's just..."

"What is it, then?"

"It's nothing, Vanitas!"

"Ven-"

Roxas smiled to himself, remembering yesterday when he and Axel where messaging each other. After talking about it with the redhead, he started to pay more attention to his brother and noticed how he looked to the older boy or how he'd get happier when around him. It was obvious by now that Ventus had started to feel something more towards Vanitas. If Vanitas felt the same that was another story, but he clearly changed around Ventus too. The older of the twins let them both talk and remained quiet until they arrived at the classroom.

After his small talk with Max, Vanitas was more watchful. More than once he saw him just standing there, watching him and Ventus during the break and even before they got to the classroom. Max had nothing against the blonde, he knew that. No, he wanted to get to Vanitas and the raven feared he'd hurt Ven to do it.

On that same day on their break Ventus left the classroom and went straight to buy a candy for him while Vanitas got some food. It wasn't usual for him to eat at school, but he was awfully hungry today. The moment he sat down to eat he saw Ventus coming from the bathroom and approaching him.

"You should get yourself some. This spaghetti is great" Suggested the raven casually.

"Nah, I'm good" He put his hand inside his pants pocket to get something, but didn't find it "Where is it?"

"Where is what?"

"My Lucky Luckys! I know I put them in my pocket!" He stood up "Did I leave them in the bathroom?"

"How the hell did you lose a chocolate?" Asked Vanitas, laughing.

"I'll go take a look! Be right back!"

Vanitas watched him leave hurriedly, not realizing he was smiling. That Ventus... He certainly forgot it over the sink or something, so he just waited while the boy went to look for it... But then Vanitas saw Max a little far from there, taking two chocolate bars out of his pockets and eating one of them while looking to him.

His smile disappeared. Ventus certainly had left them behind and didn't notice when they were stolen. He lowered his head, telling himself to wait. It was just a candy. No harm done at the moment.

"They weren't there!" Exclaimed Ven, disappointed when he sat next to Vanitas again.

"Didn't you forget them somewhere else?"

"No, I bought them and then went into the bathroom, I'm sure of it..." He sighed. He had bought one for Vanitas as well but now had none!

"Well, whatever. You can buy more tomorrow"

Ventus nodded, although still a little sad. Once Vanitas finished eating, he told Ventus to go to their usual spot while he'd go to the bathroom himself only he didn't go. Once Ventus left Vanitas walked to Max, staring at him and confirming his suspicions when his ex-classmate smiled with confidence. He didn't like that; it was just a chocolate now but that could turn into something more... Ignoring him for the moment, Vanitas went to buy a Lucky Lucky.

A little while later he rejoined his colleagues and saw Ventus and Ienzo laughing out loud. The blonde had told everyone about losing his chocolate already, having to endure Roxas telling him to pay more attention to things while Xion tried to defend her friend. Oh well, that was expected. Vanitas then sat next to the girl, simply answering whenever someone spoke to him and waited for time to pass.

Once the break was over, they returned to the classroom and each went to their respective desk when Ventus stopped before his. He frowned and then smiled.

"Hey, guys! Look!" There was a Lucky Lucky over his desk.

Vanitas raised an eyebrow at him, speaking with somewhat of irritation in his voice "Didn't you say you went straight to the bathroom, blondie?"

"But I-I did... I didn't come back here, I'm sure o-" Vanitas rolled his eyes impatiently "It's true, Vani!"

"Maybe you have a secret admirer" Exclaimed Xion out of nowhere, making their friends laugh and Ventus blush. So that was another chocolate, not the one he bought. But then who-

He looked to Vanitas once again who now stared to him with a frown "See it that you don't lose that one as well!"

Ventus nodded, sitting down and happily holding the chocolate in his hands. Since the teacher still had to arrive he opened it and broke it in two, giving half to the black-haired boy.

"Quick, before Marly comes" He whispered. Vanitas laughed, accepted the candy and threw it at once in his mouth while they waited for the lesson to begin. A few desks from there, Ienzo observed them in silence.

 _Nice move, Vanitas._


	20. Chapter 20

It was 10PM of wednesday and Roxas was out of breath from laughing while talking to Axel on the phone. Ventus was fooling around on their computer, wearing his green pajamas and watching videos on the internet.

"Sure, if you say so" Roxas took a deep breath to calm himself down "Oh yeah! I was talking to my brother and we wanted to know if you'd like to come home this weekend. We usually just play videogames but we can do something else if you'd like, of course"

Ventus was excited to invite Vanitas! Perhaps he didn't enjoy going out but he did go to the mall, right? Besides, Ven knew that he didn't particularly like to be surrounded by too many people, but it would be just the four of them (Six with their parents) so he could feel comfortable there!

"All set then!" Exclaimed Roxas and Ventus knew Axel agreed just by the way his brother was smiling "After lunch is great! We'll be waiting!"

"What do you think we should do? Just stay home?" Ventus asked once Roxas hung up.

"I don't know" He went quiet for a second "Did you.. Call Vanitas yet?"

"Tomorrow. I hope he can come!" Said the younger boy, turning the computer off and laying on the bed. Roxas didn't reply.

On the following day the twins woke up early, went to school and met Vanitas at the street corner just like every day of the week. Today however he wasn't smoking and Ventus happily greeted him for that.

"Good morning!"

"Have you heard?" Vanitas walked to the boys "That music school at the sandlot is public now"

"What?!" Roxas frowned. It had been years since they tried to make it public, but he didn't actually believe they could do it.

"You'll be able to play your electric keyboard, Ven" Continued Vanitas and Ventus stared to him with shining eyes. Ever since the musical instruments arrived at school, their music classes with Demyx were much better! Everyone was getting lessons on rhythm, solfege and harmony. However they didn't have full access to the instruments of course, unlike they would in a music school...

"And you will be able to play guitar again!" Completed the blonde, smiling from ear to ear. Vanitas agreed, smiling too.

That day they would finally have Art lessons since the last teacher left. After enduring a very boring lesson with Larxene and having a great one with Aqua, it was time to meet her.

"Good morning, everyone! I am your new Arts' teacher. My name is Aerith" She smiled "I know you spent a few classes without a teacher so we have a lot of content to catch up to, but I'm sure we can manage"

After talking a little bit with the teenagers and getting to know some of them, she decided to start. To her students' confusion however she told them to keep their books closed.

"Today we're going to have a practical class!" She announced excitedly "Next week we are going to have a lot of written content to talk about, so today we're doing something more fun!"

She gave each student a paper sheet. In it there was a drawing of what looked like a star made of five detached pieces and a symbol in the center. Above the drawing, the name read _Wayfinder_.

"We're making a really simple model of a Wayfinder. This lucky charm was created based on the Paopu Fruit, a common fruit from Destiny Islands; have any of you heard about it or maybe visited the place?"

Sora raised his hand "Me and my parents go to Destiny Islands every year!"

"Excelent, Sora. So you know what is a Paopu Fruit is like?"

"Yeah! It looks exactly like a star and it's very tasty too! We always bring some for ourselves when we go there"

"Very good! And do you know the meaning this fruit holds?"

Sora knew it, of course, but was ashamed to say it out loud "Not really..."

The teacher turned her attention to the others "The Paopu Fruit is a symbol of love between people. They say that if you share it with someone, you're destined to be with this person forever"

Most boys of the class laughed while the girls looked at each other smiling. Aerith continued.

"Ah, but I think you misunderstand me. To be with someone doesn't mean to be romantically involved. Love exists in many ways! The love for our family, for our siblings, for our friends and of course, for that special someone as well. We are going to make our own Wayfinders today and I want you all to understand this and show how much you care about your classmates"

Ventus smiled; that sounded super cute and really meaningful! He already knew who he wanted to give his Wayfinder to when it was done: To the first person that came into his mind of course. Ventus took a quick glance to him, to Vanitas, but frowned and sighed when he saw how very uninterested he looked. Geez...

A few minutes later and they were headed for the arts classroom, where was all the material they needed. There were six reasonably large desks in there and soon new groups were formed as they chose their seats. Ventus and Vanitas sat together along with Xion, Ienzo, Sora and Riku.

"Our version of the Wayfinder will be very simple, but once you get it right you'll be able to ornament it using any materials you want" After saying that, Aerith told the students to choose the paperboards they'd use. They also took glue sticks, pieces of strings, scissors, pencils and rulers to their desk. They would start by choosing the size of their models and then would cut the forms from the paperboard they picked.

"I'll make mine green" Said Ventus out of nowehere, thinking out loud "What about you, Vani?"

"I don't know..." He scratched his head "Maybe red"

"It'll look great!" Replied the blonde while drawing on his paperboard. Everyone did the same, chatting while they did except for Vanitas who followed the teacher's instructions in silence. Ventus ocasionally looked to him, unable to hide his smile; Vanitas looked so funny focused like that, so unlike his usually bored and irritated self. Ventus must've been really obvious about it though because Xion smiled to him as if delighted with that and he lowered his head to hide his blushing cheeks.

Almost everyone finished their models by the end of the day. Of course not all of them were as detailed as they could be, but some were very well made. Roxas made a yellow one which was very detailed. Both Sora and Riku made blue ones and now laughed at each other talking about how bad they looked. Ventus liked his; it wasn't the best but it was really adorable. He turned to Vanitas.

"How's yours? Whoa!"

It was really pretty! The cuts had been made with a lot of care and the strings carefully measured. There were black details on the tips and the red really highlighted it!

"Think I can get a good grade with this?" He asked, running his hand through his hair. Ventus nodded energetically and was about to say something but Xion did it first.

"Who are you going to give your Wayfinders to?"

They all looked to each other. Sora smiled.

"Secret!" He laughed and put his hand behind his head just like Ventus did "What about you, Xi?"

"I still don't know... There are many people who matter to me. Just like you guys! But I'm not making five Wayfinders, sorry" She completed, making them all laugh except for Vanitas, who lifted an eyebrow and looked away.

Ventus' cheeks turned red once again. Yeah, the Wayfinder could mean love between friends too but then he wondered... Would Vanitas get angry if he gave him his? Or would he simply accept it? He might understand it all wrong... Ventus tried not to think much about that; why worry, after all? It was no big deal, was it? Then it occurred to him...

Why did he even want to give him the Wayfinder?

The teacher walked from student to student, checking their work and giving their grade so they could take it home that same day. Almost no one gave their Wayfinder to someone else at school but, just a few minutes after leaving the arts classroom, the group of friends noticed two of them were missing...

And they weren't too far. Sora and Riku were just a few meters behind them and Sora was smiling from ear to ear, holding his Wayfinder before Riku and waiting for him to get it. Riku smiled back and gave the brown-haired boy his own before giving him a pat on his shoulder. The two of them shared glances slightly embarassed but Sora laughed happily and they resumed walking. None of their friends said a word about that, but needless to say all of them were happy.

They left the classroom straight to the entrance of the school, waving each other goodbye before leaving. Ventus followed his brother and was reasonably far already when he remembered.

"Ven, where-" Roxas barely had time to call for his brother; Ventus left running in the opposite direction, running after the raven, and tripped on his own feet right after calling for him.

"Vanitas!"

He didn't manage to stop though and all he saw was Vanitas turning around before bumping against him. Before both could fall to the floor, however, Vanitas held him and helped him stand up.

"Oh my God, Ventus! Why such a hurry?"

"I- We... Me and my bother are spending this saturday at home. And..." Ven lowered his gaze "I came to ask if you'd like to go. We usually just play videogames, it's what we do when Sora goes there, but we could also watch a movie or go out or anything else, like... I-I don't know, whatever you'd like and..."

He always talked too much when he was tense. He shouldn't be for there was nothing wrong in what he was doing, but he couldn't help it. Anxious, he lifted his gaze to meet Vanitas' and that made him feel even more nervous.

"And... And you're invited! I can give you our address!"

Vanitas thought a little about it before replying. _Look at his face_ , he thought. _All nervous and yet so bouncy and happy_.

"Well... I'll let you know if I can go. But it wouldn't hurt to give me your address, I suppose"

Ventus smiled "Alright! I'll... I'll send you a message once I get home!"

The raven let out a playful sigh "Alright. Just try to walk slower or you'll end up crashing against someone else along the way"

"'Kay! I'll be waiting for you!" Replied the boy and, waving once more, ran back to his brother.


	21. Chapter 21

The twins were equally agitated. Saturday had finally arrived and there they were, both anxious with the day that awaited them. Both Axel and Vanitas were supposed to arrive around 1PM! Their parents were home that day as well and couldn't wait to meet Vanitas, especially because Roxas didn't seem to like him.

1PM came and went and yet only the brothers were there, watching stupid videos on the internet while waiting. When the bell rang half an hour later, they looked at each other and ran down the stairs.

It was Roxas who opened the door, expecting Axel to be there. To his surprise and disappointment, it wasn't him.

"Hi, Vani!" Greeted Ven, now standing in front of his brother. Vanitas wore a white T-shirt that day and jeans pants as always, both hands in its pockets. He looked somewhat... Nervous.

"Looks like you had no problems finding our house" Said Roxas, kind of mocking him.

"Your brother is good at giving directions" He calmly replied. Ventus called him inside and he followed him while Roxas closed the door.

"Oh, hello!" It was the twins' mother. She quickly greeted him with a hug "You must be Vanitas! Ventus talks a lot about you"

"Mom!" Ventus blushed and Vanitas smiled. The woman had light blue eyes, really beautiful ones and he suddenly knew where the twin's eye color came from.

"Nice to meet you, ma'am" He said and at that moment their father approached him.

"Good afternoon! Welcome to our house, Vanitas! I hope you feel at home" Said the blonde man, shaking the young boy's hand.

"Thank you, sir. It's a pleasure to meet you"

Roxas watched it all in disbelief. Ventus on the other hand looked from one to the other barely able to control himself; he didn't really believe Vanitas would come and having him there made him feel so excited!

They were about to go back to their room when the bell rang again. Roxas jumped to the door.

"Axel!"

"Heya!" The redhead entered the house, greeting Roxas and walking to the others "Good afternoon, everyone!"

Vanitas observed how Axel behaved there. It was as if he was already part of the family due to how he talked to the adults and just played around speaking nonsense. He was indeed really sociable, so unlike himself... Vanitas couldn't remember the last time he went to the house of a friend. It wasn't like he ever had any friends to begin with anyway. For that reason he felt a bit uneasy there, seeing how they were treating each other. He was not used to kindness, even less to so much affection.

The four boys then went up and into the twins' bedroom. Axel wouldn't stop talking which made Roxas really happy, but Ventus had already noticed that Vanitas was a little tense. He really wanted to make him feel happy there...

"You gotta see this!" Exclaimed Roxas suddenly, choosing one of the many games they had and turning their videogame on. It was a racing game where the players could race against each other or play in teams. The teams could clash with each other's vehicle, and while one player took over the driving the other one would take over the weapons to shoot at their enemies.

Ventus put his hands on his waist, bragging while Roxas set up four controllers "No one can defeat us in this game!"

"Yeah, we practice a lot! I doubt you can win, no matter what you do!" Agreed his brother. Axel sneered.

"Oh yeah? Well..." He put his hand over Vanitas' shoulder, leaning on him "I bet we both can put you guys in the shade! Right, Vanitas?"

The black-haired boy grumbled, crossing his arms and clearly not fine with Axel touching him like that "I won a chess match against Ienzo. I'll obviously win against you two. And you can let go of me, Axel!"

Ventus laughed "Há, I'd like to see that! Just don't come crying when you lose!"

"Now it's a matter of honor!" It was Axel again, cracking his knuckles and totally ignoring Vanitas' angry look "Give us the controllers, Rox!"

The controllers weren't wireless so they had to sit pretty close to the TV. Ventus and Roxas sat on the floor, while the other two sat on Roxas' bed.

"We already have all the tracks!" Said Roxas "Let's choose the easiest one so you can learn how to play before we kick your asses"

"That's unfair, you know?" Axel smirked; he didn't know how competitive Roxas could get until now "You better not play dirty!"

Vanitas stared to the controller for a few seconds. He had played videogames before but that had been a long time ago and he didn't even remember where. It felt so weird not to know how to properly do it anymore but of course he wouldn't admit that. As soon as the game started, he paid attention to the twins' explanation of the controls and then they went to the characters' selection screen before heading for a level.

"Let's play this one for five laps so you can have more time to get used to it. The rest is up to you!"

"As if they had a chance!" Completed Ventus and Roxas grinned.

The level was full of turns and secret passageways, carefully choosen by Roxas who wanted to make things harder for them, of course. Axel laughed the whole time ("I knew you were going to do this, seriously!") but Vanitas didn't say a word. He was in last place but ignored that and tried to learn the controls better by himself. When the three other boys crossed the finish line they just kept looking to him while he played.

"Need some help?" Asked Roxas and Vanitas replied with an annoyed stare.

"Man, you guys didn't even use your abilities!" Exclaimed Ven "When you're together you can clash to use your weapons! We told you before"

"We would probably just explode our cars trying to do it, though" Said Axel playfully.

"Ha, ha, you bet"

When Vanitas finally arrived they chose another track and played again. The older boys used their clashing ability this time and played a lot better actually but Ventus and Roxas were undefeatable!

However, while playing Axel ocasionally looked to Vanitas, noting that he looked more and more apprehensive. He was really feeling umcomfortable, not because of them but because he didn't seem to belong to that place or even to that moment. He felt so weird, so out of place and started to consider leaving already but Axel wouldn't let that happen.

After losing once again, he gave the raven a friendly push on his arm "Ohh, you can do better than that!"

"Há, há"

"Even if you can't though..." He put an arm around his neck this time "what matters it to have fun, not win all the time! Got it memorized?"

"No, shit"

"Come on, laugh a little! Admit you're enjoying it!" Continued Axel but Vanitas rolled his eyes, too proud to admit anything. He then turned to the twins "And you two: It's impossible for both of you to be so good like this. We better make sure that you're not cheating!"

"Trying to get rid of Vanitas, eh?" Roxas teased again, but Axel gave him a challenging look.

"I want to find out which one of you is the best player. Ven! This time it'll be you and I!"

Roxas widened his eyes and stared to Vanitas, who finally looked like his usual self again and gave him a smirk. Damnit.

"Okay" Replied Ventus "Let's do it, Rox!"

Axel sat down on he floor next to the younger blonde and they both laughed at Roxas' glare. He sat next to Vanitas on the bed who, now a little entertained, pretended to be worried about him.

"You mad?"

"Shut up!"

They chose four other tracks with three laps each. As soon as the game started, it was clear that things had changed with Roxas and Ventus against each other. Now things would get interesting!

"Here, quick! Go, go!" Ventus told Axel, who immediately pressed the button so they could clash. The two shouted in excitement after shooting their rivals and go through without being hit.

"My God, you're terrible!" Said Roxas to Vanitas.

"What are you talking about? You're in 5th place!"

"And you're in 6th!"

"Like I care!"

They argued all the time contrary to Ventus and Axel. For three matches Roxas and Vanitas played together... And lost together.

"Well, what do ya know?" Axel gave Ventus a friendly pat on his head "Looks like Ventus is the real good player here!"

"It was Vanitas' fault! It's not enough to lose, he needs to bring me down with him!" Roxas looked to him, extremely angry by now.

"We wouldn't have lost if you hadn't missed that freaking entrance back there!" Replied the boy.

"Hey hey, you two! Another match then! The last one!" Axel said and blinked to Ventus, who giggled and agreed.

"Here's the deal: Wherever I go, you follow because I know the track. Got it?" Roxas clenched his teeth and Vanitas did the same.

"If we go together we'll end up losing like last time. Ventus also knows the track, idiot. Let's split up!"

"Uuuugh"

For the last match they put 5 laps in a random track. Axel and Ventus started already with a smile on their faces, unlike Vanitas and Roxas who were extremely focused now. On the third lap they started to talk to each other in a low voice, maybe because they were entertained or just so the others wouldn't hear them. Nonetheless they managed to get really close to the other two and it was already the last lap!

"Try not to miss this one now.." Murmured Vanitas, his finger hovering over the button.

"You missed everything last time..." Replied the older of the twins.

"Let's do it, Axel!" Exclaimed Ven.

"Alright!"

At the same time, the four clashed their cars! The boys' room was filled with screams of rage and excitement while they attacked each other. The finish line was right there and after shooting and trying to destroy one another the race was over.

The moment the ranking screen popped up, Roxas and Vanitas lifted their arms above their heads!

"WE WON! FUCK YEAH, WE FUCKING WON! FIRST PLACE, IN YOUR FACE!" Screamed both of them celebrating in their own way while Ventus and Axel watched them, surprised and a little scared. When they finally settled down the four started to laugh, all of them in joy, and stopped playing right after that.

"No way I was going home without winning at least once" Bragged Vanitas nonchalantly.

"I bet you didn't expect us to win this time, uh?" Completed Roxas, ignoring the fact that he didn't expect that himself.

The four still talked a little before being called to eat. They went down the stairs only to meet the twins' parents who had waited for them before starting to eat.

"Playing a lot?" Asked their father. It was Axel who replied.

"Aww yeah! You should have seen those two" He pointed to Vanitas and Roxas "fighting for the first place"

"I think we actually heard them" Their mother giggled "I hope they didn't scare you, Vanitas"

"Maybe a little" He said playfully. It was... Different to be there. There was this very perceptible sensation of comfort and freedom in the way they talked and smiled all the time. He avoided speaking unless someone talked to him, but after a few minutes he no longer felt out of place.

The boys spent the rest of the day talking about random subjects and seeing some videos on the internet. Ventus showed Vanitas all of his books and told him about each one of them, happy due to how interested he seemed to be. It was a great afternoon and they all enjoyed their time without worrying about what was coming next.

Around 5PM then Vanitas told them he had to leave. Ventus nodded and walked with him to the door but not before he said goodbye to their parents.

"I hope you had a great day! Come back whenever you'd like" Said the boys' mother, once again hugging him.

"You heard it, boy! You're welcome here" Their father agreed, shaking his hand.

"Yes, sir. Thank you, both of you"

"No need for such formalities" The man said and Vanitas then took his leave.

"I don't have your number yet, do it? I'll ask Ven for it so we can keep in touch" Said Axel out of nowhere and Vanitas gave him a thumbs up.

Roxas looked to him "No hard feelings, right? There's nothing wrong with being a bad player, you know"

"Sure. Same to you, blondie"

"That's how you do it!" Axel continued, putting an arm around Roxas' waist. The blonde crossed his arms, slightly red "Well, we're going inside then. We'll be waiting for you, Ven!"

Roxas agreed and had already turned around when it occurred to him what he was doing "Wait, what?"

"Bye, Vanitas!" Axel finished and pulled Roxas inside before he could contest, closing the door and leaving the boys alone.

There was an awkward silence. Ventus looked to nowhere in particular, pretending to be thinking about something. Vanitas, on the other hand, looked directly to him. Not in an intimidating way, however.

Ventus felt his cheeks burn for being stared at like that and looked to him embarrassed "Ahnn... So, what did you think? We can be really loud sometimes, and it's not thaaat interesting, but we have fun. I hope you had fun too and-"

"You have a beautiful family, Ventus"

The blonde stopped speaking. Vanitas took a few steps to him but now stared to the sky, thoughtful "Now I know why you're like this"

Ventus blushed "Like... This?"

"You're caring. And kind" Vanitas still wasn't looking to him "And... Sometimes way too happy"

"Ahn... Sorry?" He let out a shy laughter, scratching his head.

"Thank you for inviting me here. And, Ven..."

Vanitas turned to face him, staying like that for a few seconds as if wondering whether he should do it... And then put his hand over the younger boy's head, caressing his blonde hair. Ventus froze staring at him.

"I... Like how happy you are. Don't apologize for that"

Then he smiled. Ventus didn't say anything, still unable to move, but that had been an authentic smile! That, along with how Vanitas' cheeks were also a little red, made Ventus' heart beat uncontrollably.

"Time to go then!" Announced the older boy, as if noticing he shouldn't be there anymore and letting go of his sudden different behavior "See you around!"

"O... Okay" Replied Ventus and Vanitas left, waving to him one last time before truly leaving. Ventus still waited a few minutes before going back inside and stood there, just watching while the raven disappeared in the distance.

That smile...

It was the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.


	22. Chapter 22

Ventus was sleeping and happily drooling over his pillow when his alarm went off at 7:30AM. He rubbed his eyes, sleepier than he should be, and picked his cellphone to set on the snooze function when he saw there was a message for him.

 **Vanitas:  
** _It's tomorrow! Don't you forget -_ _6:25 AM_

The blonde blinked a few times so his eyes could get used to the sudden brightness and reread it, slowly waking up. Roxas was still asleep and, judging by the silence in the house, his parents were as well.

It was not uncommon for Ventus to wake up early on weekends. It was actually what always happened so he could enjoy his free day to the fullest and also buy bread for breakfast while they were still warm - Which was a little contradictory, considering how Roxas had to wake him up to go to school every other day of the week.

He properly sat on his bed, writing his response with a lazy smile on his face. It had been a week since Vanitas and Axel spent the day at their house and from that day on he and the black-haired boy talked to each other every day, even when outside of school. All of their friends and teachers as well noticed this sudden closeness, and everyone agreed that both were doing better at classes since then.

Aqua was the first one to notice that change. It didn't matter when she looked at them: They were always focused, something really unexpected for Vanitas since he always slept during classes. Whenever she gave them exercises the two of them even exchanged ideas on how to do it, truly concentrated on what they were doing.

To say Ventus was happy wouldn't be enough to express how he truly felt. He loved to be with Vanitas, even when he was quiet or stressed. It felt so good to stay close to him, and maybe the older teenager didn't talk much about it but anyone who saw them interacting would say he felt the same way. It was noticeable above anything else that he behaved differently when he was alone with Ven. He felt calmer, more relaxed and even laughed more than he did when there were other people around.

Something about that however bothered the raven: Max and his nosy friends. The more he got closer to Ven, the closer they got to them, watching their every move. He couldn't help but remember what his ex-colleague said last time; Vanitas would do anything to hide what happened to him from Ventus and everyone else... And yet, he'd risk it all if they as much tried to hurt the blonde. More than once he'd put his arm around Ventus when walking by them; there was no way of knowing if they'd do something but he wanted to make it clear that, no matter what they did, they would have to face him afterwards.

It was on wednesday's evening that Ventus received a call from the older boy. He answered a little confused, wondering what could be so important for him to call instead of sending a message.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Ven! Hear me out-" He proceeded without giving the boy time to reply "I'm here at the sandlot. There's a notice here saying that the subscriptions for the music school start next monday in the morning"

"What? Already?"

"Yeah. Apparently this 'music school turning public' thing has been going on for some time now, only we didn't know. The thing is, the subscriptions start in the morning" He repeated.

Ventus stood in silence for a few seconds, not understanding what he meant "Okay...?"

"Okay? Tch... Aren't you enrolling?"

"Of course I- Oh" _In the morning._ They would be studying at that time! There would surely be a lot of people there so Vanitas must be worried about arriving late and losing the chance of actually getting in the school "So, what do you want to do?"

"Simple. We skip classes on monday and come straight here to the sandlot"

It wasn't that simple for Ven, a student who didn't skip classes even if he was sick. At the same time if he lost that opportunity it would be a long time before he got another. Besides, Vanitas would be with him!

"Right... I'll talk to my parents and I'll let you know"

"Next monday, Ven!" Finished the raven and laughed before hanging up.

And thus sunday arrived and there was Ventus, reading the message and wondering what the following day would be like. His parents had let him skip school but he would wake up early just like every other day. Vanitas would be waiting for him at the bus stop and they'd both go from there. Although he didn't like skipping school like this he couldn't deny his excitement!

At last, the alarm went off on monday. It was weird to wake up not having to go to school but he did it without much trouble, changing clothes and putting the needed documents for the subscription in his backpack. Roxas woke up right after him, finding it odd how he was already up and fully awake.

"Be careful you two!" Ventus' mother told him as he got his backpack ready "And try not to come back too late, okay?"

"Relax mom, they're just going to the music school. No reason to come back late" Said Roxas "Right, Ven?"

"Yeah, no worries!" He agreed but his mother simply looked to him with a cheerful smile as if already expecting him to take longer to return. He smiled back, happy.

Roxas walked with him to the bus stop. Vanitas was already there, his back against the wall and a cigarette in his mouth. The moment he saw Ventus approaching, however, he put it out.

"Good morning, Vani!" Greeted the boy. Roxas waved to him without saying anything and he waved back.

"I'll take good care of your brother, relax" Vanitas said to Roxas who glared at him.

"It'll be easier for him to take care of you" Replied the older blonde, looking to Ventus "I'll see you at home, Ven"

"See you, Rox!"

The two waited without talking too much, each anxious for their own reasons and already getting their hopes up. A while later and the bus arrived; it would take them a few minutes to get there and they'd love to sit down but the bus was already full. The boys then walked to the back of the bus leaning on the seats to stay up, and Ventus put his backpack on the floor between his legs not to bother anyone else that was standing.

"Did you bring everything?" Asked Vanitas, even if it was a little late for that.

"Uhum. Where are your taking your documents?"

"In my pocket. The backpack annoys me sometimes" He said.

"I can't stay without mine. Even if just to carry some papers" The boy giggled. At every stop however more people got inside and the bus was getting more and more crowded.

"Damn, it's so hot in here!" Exclaimed Ven out of a sudden, looking around to check if all windows were open. If only they could stay closer to one... "Vani, let's go a little more to the back and see if we can get some fresh air?"

Vanitas nodded and they waited until the next stop to walk further inside. Once the bus stopped, however, there were way more people than they expected to and the others started getting pushed to the sides so everyone could fit. The mere seconds they took to get closer to the window was enough for the bus to get overcrowded and Vanitas was pushed to the front unable to hold himself.

"Hey, be careful!" He exclaimed as Ven turned around to face him, looking behind the raven to check how many people were there. Vanitas complained once again, forced to walk more than he could and before he could stop he had already reached the window... And was now completely pressed against Ventus' body.

He widened his eyes, his entire face turning red at once. Ventus froze feeling Vanitas body heat against him plus the heat from the bus itself. A little smaller than the older boy, Ventus lifted his head to meet his gaze... And realized that had been a bad idea, considering how they were extremely embarassed looking directly to each other and unable to move away from that position, both being pushed by the people surrounding them.

Vanitas was holding himself against one of the seats not to fall over Ventus, but even if he did that wouldn't change much since their chests were almost touching by now. He couldn't make the slightest move and neither could Ven, being forced against the back due to Vanitas' weight. He barely blinked, barely breathed, and the bus seemed to be getting hotter than it should. Something told him it wasn't just due to the many people there.

"P... Public Transport can get chaotic sometimes, eh?" He spoke, wishing he could just disappear. Vanitas looked away, to the other people.

"I know, right? Just... Ugh" He replied awkwardly. The two remained in silence throughout the rest of the way, still touching each other unintentionally. Ventus couldn't stop looking to Vanitas and got even more embarassed when he saw Vanitas blushing again. It didn't help that they were so close like this. That sudden approach...

"Fucking finally" Announced Vanitas relieved when the bus stopped and other people got off it and allowed him to move away from Ven. It had been hard to stay like that and he wasn't sure he enjoyed those butterflies in his stomach "Let's go, Ven!"

He got off first, running his hand through his hair. Damn. Ventus made him feel so strange! And he clearly made the boy feel strange too. The blonde got off the bus right after him, taking a deep breath and seemingly... Bothered? It hadn't been exactly a bother but...

The teenagers kept the dead silence until they arrived at the place. There was already a long line of people there, anxious to enroll in the school.

"It might take longer than we expected" Vanitas said, more to break the ice than anything else. Ventus understood that and thanked him in silence.

"No worries. We're not in a hurry... Right?"

"I'm certainly not"

"Look who's here!" Exclaimed a third voice and both turned around. It was Xion!

"Hi, Xi! Will you enroll in here too?" She ran to them.

"Yeah! I want to play violin! What about you?"

"I want to play an electric keyboard and Vani wants to play guitar. If there are available places until we get there that is..." He said, looking to the many people before them.

"Ah, I know we will. I just hope it doesn't get in the way of our schedules at school though..."

Luckily it didn't take too long before it was their turn. The three colleagues left the place happy and anxious for the beginning of classes (Which was due a few weeks only) and talked a little before Xion spoke.

"Where are you going now? She asked.

"Home, I think?" Ventus replied unsure and looked to Vanitas, who then looked to the girl.

"Why the question?"

"Because I haven't had breakfast yet and I'm seriously thinking about going to the bakery... So I thought you guys might like to go with me!"

Ventus thought about it. If they were at school they would be having break by now and were bound to feel hungry pretty soon too, but he didn't know if he should go.

"Sure, why not?" Vanitas said and Ventus stared to him in surprise "You're coming too, aren't you Ventus?"

"Ahn... Sure, if you want me to" He agreed at last. They then left the school where they would study in a few weeks and went to the closest bakery they found. Xion entered the place happily and the three of them sat down, taking a look to the menu.

"What are you getting?" Vanitas asked casually while choosing something for himself.

"Hm... A cappuccino would be nice! And you?"

"Ask them to put more cream, they'll actually do it if you want" Whispered Xion and raised her hand to call for a waiter. The boys looked to each other.

"I'll get something for me to eat. Wanna come with me or will you choose something else?" Asked the blonde.

"I won't eat anything, relax" Vanitas replied, asking for two medium cappuccinoss - With a lot of cream, please - while Ven got himself a sandwich. When everything they asked was on the table they started to talk about school and what they were looking forward to when Xion changed the subject.

"What about Roxas? Didn't he want to come?"

"Well, he never really showed much interest in musical instruments... Or at least he never said anything" Replied the blonde, smiling at his hot drink.

"And how is he... Feeling about Axel?"

Ventus stopped drinking, surprised. Vanitas raised an eyebrow.

"About... Axel? Ah, well, they talk everyday... And Rox seems to really like him, but that's all I know" He was quiet for a few seconds "Do you know something that we don't?"

Xion smiled "I talk to Axel a lot too. We became friends, you know. And well, he... Told me about it"

Ventus was shocked "Tell me everything!"

"Wait, wait! There isn't much to say... Only that Axel really likes him too. They have this connection, you see. And sometimes he sends me prints of their conversations and they're so cute!"

Ventus remembered how Roxas had complained about not being able to stop thinking about Axel and that memory brought him joy due to what Xion just told him... But Vanitas interrupted his thoughts.

"Roxas being cute?" He asked mockingly "I think you've mistaken him with someone else"

"And... Axel said he wanted to know if Rox feels something more for him but fears that might disturb their friendship, you know" Xion continued.

"They're friends though, aren't they?" Vanitas spoke "Even if he doesn't feel the same way, I'm sure they would understand and be alright with each other"

"I think so too!" She agreed "But you know how it is. There's always that fear of not being like they used to... That's why I asked you, Ven. If you told me something I could at least try to calm Axel down!"

Ventus laughed; that was too adorable! Roxas looked so happy when talking to the redhead! Just like he did himself when he was close to...

"I'll let you know if I find out!" Said the boy, proud and giving her a thumbs up.

The bus they took to go back home was empty and the boys managed to go all the way sitting ( _Thank God_ , they thought). Ventus checked the time; it was 11:00 AM.

"Ahhh I can't wait! Once we start it'll be great! And so fun! And we'll be together! I can't wait!" Ventus said it all at once, all bouncy.

"Of course" Vanitas replied and smiled softly while looking through the window, enjoying that quick view of the city.

"I know what we gotta do! We could arrange to study music together! You can come to my house at least one day per week! And if you want, I could go to yours too so-"

"No!" Vanitas interrupted him, suddenly alarmed. Ventus found it strange, not because of his reply but by how he suddenly seemed... Worried about that "I... It will be better if I go to yours. Believe me, you wouldn't like mine"

"Ah... Okay, no problem"

"It's not because of you, it's just... It really isn't a pleasant place. The neighbourhood sucks, it's dangerous even. And... I don't want you to fell uncomfortable"

"It's okay, Vani. I understand" Actually, he didn't. There was something more to that, he could feel it. The image of Vanitas leaving school with his father filled his mind... Did it have something to do with him?

They got off at the same bus stop from where they left in the morning and walked to Ven's home. As soon as they got there he invited Vanitas inside but the raven refused.

"Thanks, but I need to go. Gotta make today's lunch by 12"

"Okay... But whenever you want to come here, don't think twice! Just call me!" Replied the boy and Vanitas nodded. They waved goodbye and Vanitas turned his back to him, leaving.

* * *

That week there was a holiday on thursday and friday was an optional work day, which meant no school for them. Four days at home doing nothing; it was all Ven needed before got extremely bored and wished for classes to return.

Exactly on thursday Roxas asked his parents if he could go out with Axel; it seemed he had been invited for lunch in a nearby restaurant. Although a little hesitant at first, his parents let him go but not before they spoke with the man in person. That said, Axelarrived at their home around midday to ask their permission personally.

"There's no need to worry: I'll take care of Roxas. Of course, you can always call me on the same number I gave you last time" He said to them. Ventus watched them with a smile on his face, thinking about what Xion told him and hoping they would have fun together.

After the two left and he had lunch himself, Ven went back to his bedroom. Then came the boredom. He played around the internet a little and watched two episodes of anime but didn't have much interest in any of it anyway and turned their computer off. After throwing himself on the bed, the boy also tried to read a book but simply couldn't focus on what he read. He was so used to having someone with him that, when he was alone, things just felt wrong and empty.

He picked up his cellphone casually and started to reread the most recent messages, choosing Vanitas' name without realizing it. Their last conversation was just about their day basically and ended with Ventus sending him a cute kitty emoticon and Vanitas replying with an _haha_. Ventus sighed, stood up and went down the stairs and into the kitchen, looking for an snack.

"Hey there, son" Greeted his father when he too went to the kitchen "Me and your mother are thinking about going to the mall to watch a movie. What do you think? Want to come with us?"

"Sure, dad! Which movie are you watching?"

"We still don't know... But we can decide once we get there"

Ventus agreed, wondering if that 'Birth by Sleep' movie was still playing. Probably not though; how long had it been since he went to the mall with his friends? In any case...

"Dad... Can I call Vani to come with us?"

"Of course you can! Then him we'll go around 5:00 PM"

"'Kay!"He went up the stairs in a rush, getting his cellphone again and ready to send the message when he saw Vanitas had done it first.

 **Vanitas**  
 _I'm so bored I'm actually eager to go to school again - 1:15 PM_

 **Ventus  
** _Me and my parents are going to the theater! Wanna come with us? - 1:15 PM_

 **Vanitas**  
 _Just a minute - 1:16 PM_  
 _At what time? - 1:20 PM_

 **Ventus**  
 _We'll leave around 5! - 1:21 PM_

 **Vanitas  
** _I'll be there 4:30, is that good? - 1:21 PM_

 **Ventus**  
 _Yeah :D :D I'll be waiting - 1:22 PM_

Ventus then opened their wardrobe to find himself something good to wear. Vanitas would surely be wearing black clothing as always... Then why not do the same? He searched around and found a T-shirt of the band "Critical Drive" (That actually belonged to Roxas but Ven imagined he wouldn't mind if he borrowed it just once). Once he decided what to wear, he then went to take a shower and wait for his friends' arrival.

When Vanitas arrived exactly at 4:30 he was greeted by his parents and invited to enter "Ventus is almost ready. He'll be here soo-"

"Hi, Vani!"

"Oh, that was sooner than I expected" Joked the raven and looked to Ventus, caught off guard. He was so used to seeing him wearing light clothing but... He looked even cuter wearing black.

Ventus laughed seeing him, for he had the same reaction as he did: Vanitas was wearing a light blue T-shirt. The blonde approached and and gave him a hug before he could complain "There's something wrong in here"

"Indeed"

During the entire day the twins' parents let the two walk ahead of them. They had a really pleasant night and when Ventus told Vanitas that his bother was with Axel, he swore something else would happen.

"Why?" Ventus asked.

"Well, I think so. You'll see"

"Once he gets home I'll tell you about it then, ha, ha!"

In the end, 'Birth By Sleep' was still playing only in one cinema room so they got to watch it. Ventus didn't hold back any of his reactions while they watched it, making Vanitas pay more attention to him that to the movie itself; he found it extremely adorable how he got so close to the characters and how he really wanted them to win at the end.

Then, when the movie was over, Vanitas felt something different. Ventus looked to him with tears in his eyes.

"... W-Why did they have to end up like that?"

The first thing that came into the older boy's mind was to say it was just a movie, but he wouldn't do it even if he wanted to. Ventus started to cry, touched by the extremely depressing ending and covered his face with both hands as tears ran down his cheeks.

Vanitas didn't know what to do. He had seen Ventus sad before, sometimes irritated, but never crying like this. Perhaps it was because of a movie, but to see him sad like that hurt him. He realized at that moment that he didn't want to see the boy like this... That he wanted him to be happy just like he deserved to be!

Those were feelings he had never felt with anyone else. It explained why he left home to be with him, even though he hated going out. It explained why he didn't care about joining Ventus' friends even though he avoided being close to people. Vanitas might not understand what exactly that was all about but he knew it was something real, and once he realized that he let Ventus cry over his shoulder while he comforted him.


	23. Chapter 23

When Ventus and his parents arrived home that day Roxas was already there. The older blonde was at the living room watching TV but he wasn't alone.

"Hello son! Axel!" Greeted the boys' father. Axel was sitting on the sofa and Roxas lay on it, resting his head over the redhead's legs. Ventus smiled and waved to them.

"Hey everyone!" Replied the young man "I didn't want to leave Rox alone, so I decided to stay with him until you arrived"

"Of course, sweetheart. You can stay here as much as you'd like" The twins' mother said, leaving them alone and going with her husband to their bedroom. Ventus walked to his brother.

"Did you have a good day?" He asked.

"Uhum. Axel finally had Sea Salt Ice Cream today" His brother told him with a smile.

"It is the best ice cream ever, indeed. Can't believe I'd never had it before!"

Ventus giggled. He wanted to tell Roxas he had gone to the mall with Vanitas but that could wait, so he left the two alone and went to his bedroom. Not too long after that, he jumped on his bed and fell asleep.

Around 11:00 PM he felt someone poke his arm.

"Ven... Ven...!"

"N... Nngh..." He opened one eye, seeing Roxas kneeled next to his bed "R... Rox? Is everything okay?"

Roxas could wait to tell him about it the next day, but he wanted to tell him now! It was important that his brother knew and he felt this strong need to share the news with him. Ventus sat on the bed, rubbing his eyes.

"What happened?" He asked and his older brother sat next to him.

"I... Have to tell you something"

Ventus stared at him, now fully awake. Maybe it was something banal, but those words always left him worried. By the way Roxas looked to him, however, maybe... Had they-?

"What? What is it, what happened, Rox?" He asked again, more focused this time. His brother blushed and turned his face away.

"Well, it's... Me... Me and, hm..." Roxas stuttered, nervous.

"Yooou..."

"And Axel!" Roxas said at once, abruptly "He and I kissed!"

"You-" For a few seconds Ventus stood there, blinking in silence while looking to his tense brother. Then he smiled from ear to ear and his eyes shined with happiness "Really? How was it? Was it here at home?! I can't believe it, Rox, you two, I knew that-"

It was Roxas' turn to blink in silence. That certainly was not the reaction he had expected.

"Ahhhhnn..."

"I'm so happy, Rox! I knew you liked him, I knew it!"

"Ven, talk more quietly, please?!"

"Sorry" He exclaimed. Perhaps it had been only a kiss but it was something, alright "I'm... I'm really happy for you, big brother!"

Roxas sighed in relief. Why did he even worry that much before telling Ventus about it? He was the one he trusted the most and always had his support! How could he forget? Now truly relaxed, Roxas continued.

"It was he who... You know, kissed me first. I was afraid that he didn't like me, but..."

Ventus let him talk. He didn't give much details and Ven didn't really expect him to, but he told him about their day and how he felt around him, about how Axel kept him close and cared for him. The younger blonde laughed in joy while he spoke and they talked for a long time before going to sleep.

When Roxas lay on his bed he fell asleep right away, too tired due to spending the entire day outside. As for Ventus... He told everything to Vanitas and Xion. And Xion, of course, made sure to tell everyone else about it too!

* * *

The sun still had to rise when it started to rain. It was around 6:00 AM, friday, when Ventus opened his eyes unwillingly; days like that made him feel sleepier than he'd like to. The boy turned around on his bed and hugged his pillow when he remembered about last night's conversation with his brother and stretched his arms to pick his phone up. As he expected, there were new messages.

 **Xion**  
oh my God _8:25 AM_  
omg _8:25 AM  
_ OMG _8:25 AM_

 **Vanitas**  
I told you something else would happen! _9:17 AM  
_ I sent Axel a message, let's see what he says _9:17 AM_

 **Sora  
** Man, Xion told me Roxas and Axel are dating, like? Really? Why didn't you tell me? _9:24 AM_

Ventus rolled his eyes. Xion, Xion... He'd need to talk to her about that. That weekend would be remembered as the day their friends wouldn't stop sending messages and questions to the blondes, not a surprise for Ventus but something that bothered Roxas at first. Once he realized everyone was happy for him, however, he relaxed. It helped a lot when Axel sent him a message telling him that he received _Congratulations!_ messages from their friends.

"Gee, it was a only a kiss..." Whispered Roxas when Xion sent him another message.

"For now" Ventus teased.

"What did you say?"

"Nothiiiing!"

The rain didn't give any signs of stopping anytime soon. It was terribly hard to wake up on monday to go to school (The bed was so cozy and warm!), but they had to do it so the twins went down the stairs tripping over their own feet.

"Don't forget to take your umbrellas! And don't you forget them at school either!" Their father said, hugging and kissing them before leaving for work. The twins put on their jackets and left, walking slowly down the wet streets. At least it wasn't windy...

Vanitas wasn't at the street corner that day which was to be expected, so they went straight to the classroom to get warm. The raven wasn't inside either and Ventus wondered if he wouldn't come that day or if he was simply late. The lesson started but everyone was sleepy due to the rain and they all already waited for the day to end soon. When the third lesson began, Vanitas arrived.

"Excuse me, teacher"

He was soaked and the expression he wore on his face was almost indecipherable. He looked nervous but not angry, only fed up and tired, a broken umbrella in his hand. He entered the classroom without looking to anyone and went straight to his desk, lazily throwing the object at his feet.

"Damn... Did it break on the way here?" Asked Ventus. Vanitas was wearing the same red sweatshirt he wore to hide his wounds a few months ago.

"Yeah... The moment I set foot outside, it was pretty much destroyed" He replied, laying his head on the desk.

"You should have stayed at home! You'll get a cold if you stay soaked like this, Vani!"

"Nah, I'm fine" There was no way he'd be staying at home that day, not after he woke up with his father screaming and threatening him. He'd rather get sick instead of being near the man when he was like that.

The lesson went on with not much interesting happening. During break the rain got heavier and many chose to stay inside the classroom for that. Roxas imagined his friends would ask him about Axel nonstop, but they all simply smiled to him to his relief. Ventus left the classroom for a while, just enough to return with a Lucky Lucky.

"For you" He said giving the chocolate to Vanitas, who accepted it but broke it in half to share with the blonde.

"You really like this shi- Atchoo!" Vanitas sniffed, apologizing and Ventus sighed.

"See? You got a cold already!"

"I don't have a cold, Ven!" The boy protested "Can't I even sneeze anym- ATCHOO!" Ventus laughed. Damnit!

Not long after the break their principal Yen Sid entered the classroom. Everyone went silent; it was rare to see him there.

"Good morning, everyone ! I came here personally to remind you that our semester is coming to an end in only two months" The students shared glances "And as it is a tradition of our school, we are going to take a trip to a theme park by the end of the next month!"

A trip? That word alone was enough for every single teenager to pay attention!

"The park I'm talking about is Disney Town! You're allowed to take someone with you, maybe one of your parents, a friend from another school, you decide. One person per student, though. One of your teachers will tell you about the price which I believe is really accessible to everyone, and I want those who are interested in going to give your names to said teacher by the end of next week!"

Everyone was excited! Ventus turned to his brother, who smiled to him and celebrated in silence. They loved Disney Town! The boys had been there two or three times with their parents but to go with their friends would be so much fun!

When it was time to leave Vanitas decided to wait for the rain to settle down before going, which looked like it would take a long time. Ventus said goodbye to him, watching the older teen sit by himself at one of the tables on the schoolyard and cross his arms, only this time to warm himself up. The blonde waited for a little bit and then told Roxas to wait while he approached Vanitas; he couldn't just leave him there alone!

"Vani, why don't you come with us?"

"Hm?" He lifted his head and looked to him.

"We have more umbrellas at home. Come on, I'll lend you one!"

"Thank you, but no. The rain will stop soon, I can wait"

"Don't be foolish!" Exclaimed the boy, surprising Vanitas "There's nothing to it, come on!"

He reached out for him by impulse, not knowing exactly why. Still unsure, Vanitas rolled his eyes impatiently but in the end gave up, holding Ventus' hand and standing up.

"It wasn't my idea" He told Roxas once they were outside. Ventus wouldn't stop looking to him with joy, holding the umbrella over their heads and smiling. They talked all the way home and although the older boy didn't talk much he was happy for being there. Even Roxas joined in the conversation, but Vanitas only had eyes for one of them.

They were just a few squares away from their house when three boys walked by them. Vanitas narrowed his eyes; it was Max and his two friends. They looked to him and to Ventus with a malicious smile, but didn't say a word as they passed by.

"You guys don't really get along, do you?" Ventus asked "They take this path everyday, you know"

Vanitas turned to him alarmed "Every day? At this same exact hour?"

"It depends... Why?" Roxas noticed Vanitas' reaction and frowned.

"Don't take them lightly" He replied and looked to Roxas "And don't let your guard down. Those guys are bad news!"

Ventus said nothing, only remembered when Roxas told him the same thing about Vanitas. After a few seconds of silence, he decided to change the subject.

"Oh, Vani! Are you going to Disney Town?"

"I'd like to... But I don't know"

"You should go, man. You'll love it in there!" Roxas said.

Ventus started to tell him about all the attractions they could find there. They didn't even see time pass by and soon they were at their house. Ventus even invited Vanitas to drink something and get warm but he refused and waited outside.

"Mom, where are our extra umbrellas?" Ventus asked once he opened the door "Vani's broke and he needs one to go home!"

She quickly came to them, smiling to the boy who stood there trembling in the cold "Oh sweetie, why don't you come in? I can get you something to dry off with!"

"Thank you, but I really need to go home" He replied, smiling back to her. Ventus soon returned with the umbrella they had and gave it to him.

"Don't you want to... Have lunch with us?" The boy asked, taking a glance to his mom. She nodded and Vanitas would have loved to, but he couldn't. He had to make lunch himself or he might have problems with his father later.

"Another day then!" The twins' mother suggested when he told them he really couldn't stay "I'll make something just for you! My specialty!"

"You'll love it! It's the best food ever!" Said Ventus.

"I agree!" Shouted Roxas from the living room. Vanitas smiled again; it was hard not to do it when he was with that family. Finally, he thanked them and left.

* * *

When Vanitas entered his own house and saw Xehanort on the kitchen he was immediately on full alert. He greeted the man and walked by him.

"You're late" Xehanort said without facing him but smiling with somewhat of mockery that Vanitas did not understand.

"My umbrella broke on the way, I had to borrow one"

"Were you going to melt if you came without it?"

"Is it really that hard to make your own lunch?"

Without waiting for the reply he left for his bedroom. He was considering the trip to Disney Town... He had never gone there because there was no one to go with. Now he had... Friends. It might be fun.

Thinking about that, Vanitas closed the door and opened his wardrobe to check how much money he still had left. Although he never spent much but he knew it couldn't last forever. He really needed to find a job soon...

Where was it?

He took another look, searching for the wallet he left hidden there. It should be behind that one crack deep inside the wardrobe, in a place only he knew where! He always hid it there, but now... It was nowhere to be found!

The teen tried to relax, looking around with more calm and patience. He did everything he could, wondering if it had fallen even deeper down or even if it had fallen off the wardrobe, but he pulled it away from the wall to check and it wasn't there either. He was the only one to enter his bedroom. And there was only one other person living with him.

Vanitas took a deep breath. His father's smile when he arrived... He hadn't-

Nervous, the boy went back to the kitchen. He said nothing at first, but then his father turned to him and laughed.

"What's wrong, son? It's almost like you've... Lost something"

"Where is it?" He questioned.

"Where is what?"

"You know very well what! I want you to give it back!" The boy exclaimed louder than he should, taking a step closer to the adult.

"You want it, eh?" Xehanort stared to his son ironically, eyebrows raised "And who do you think you are to want anything, you wastrel? How long have you kept that money hidden from me?!"

"It is my money! Money I earned with hard work while you stay here by yourself doing nothing all day long!"

"Your money? Há!" Xehanort approached him at once. He closed his fingers over his hair and pulled his head backwards, forcing the boy to look at him. His breath smelled like alcohol "Everything in this house belongs to me! How many times will I have to repeat that?!"

"That was my spare money! I don't care if you waste yours with fucking beer, but that was mi-"

The father of the boy let go of his hair and grabbed him by both arms, pushing him against the wall "Now you listen here, you piece of shit! You have been a really manerless and rude boy lately! Will I really need to teach you everything I did when you were a child?! Is that what you want?"

"You know how hard it was to get that job! You know it, d-dad! It's my right to use what I rightfully earn-"

He couldn't finish his sentence, choking in his own saliva when Xehanort hit him against the wall violently, a sharp pain running down his back.

"It is your obligation to help with the house! And because of that you have no right to do anything else, brat!"

"To help with the house, not to satisfy your needs!" He groaned when he was once again hit against the surface behind him.

"Pay attention!" Xehanort approached him even more, looking inside his son's eyes which were slowly being taken over by fear "You better stop complaining! It's been 17 years... **17 years** feeding and caring for you, a child I never wanted to have! A burden!"

Vanitas felt a lump in his throat, trying to stay calm despite the pain on his back "I... I don't know what else to do for you, dad. No matter what I do, it never seems to be enough!"

"There's nothing you can do anymore" Xehanort said at last and let go of him "The way you are now... You'd be better off **dead!** "

Vanitas felt all of his thoughts turn into smoke. He looked to his father, to the man that didn't even look back to him, and leaned on the wall not to lose his balance. He... He would better be...

He didn't know how he got to his room. He was moved by something stronger than him, by such a deep agony that he wasn't able to explain. Did he really say that? Did... Would... He would be better off ...

Vanitas slammed the door shut, his veins boiling with hate. He walked from one side to the other, running his hands through his hair and trying to focus on something to calm himself down, but he couldn't think about anything that helped! Vanitas groaned to himself, sitting on the bed and holding his head in both hands.

Was he really so useless that he deserved to hear something like that?! He breathed deeply once again, but suddenly his head seemed as if about to explode.

"Keep cool" He kept on telling himself "Keep cool. You know that's not true!"

 _"Why do you think she left?!" His father screamed at the little boy who cried his heart out after his mother left "She left because of you and you know that, you dumb shit!"_

No! Everything he had ever heard were lies! He had done nothing wrong, absolutely nothing wrong! On the contrary, he was always trying to do things right, to... To be a good son!

 _"Dad..." 5 years old Vanitas sat by the table, unable to eat. He was thinking about what his teacher told him at school. It left him so confused "My teacher said.. That family means to love each other"_

 _Xehanort looked to him, frowning._

 _"And?"_

 _He gulped, staring down to his small fork._

 _"D... Do you love me, dad?"_

Vanitas dug his nails on his scalp "Stop", he repeated "Stop thinking!"

 _A 6 year old Vanitas lay on his bed, hugging his favourite plushie while sleeping, a blue small creature he named Flood. It was his best and only friend and Vanitas truly loved him, telling him stories at night and cuddling with him until he believed the little creature was asleep. It was past midnight and his father still hadn't returned, leaving him alone to take care of himself all day long. When he did arrive, however, Vanitas jumped on his bed: He had entered his room without warning and now just stood there, staring at him._

 _His father smelled like alcohol and he sat on his bed, next to him. Xehanort smiled and put a hand over the boy's head before running it down his legs._

 _"You're a good boy, aren't you son?" He asked before going further._

 _"D... Daddy?"_

" **Stop thinking!** "

He threw himself on the bed, staring to the ceiling. Vanitas wasn't breathing properly and the sudden stress due to what had just happened brought just too many things to his mind at once. He hated that, he hated to be there, he hated himself so much! No matter what he did nothing would change! Nothing he did would lessen the torment he lived everyday. The images, the memories, all of them ran through his mind like a movie, a movie that turned into a nightmare, a movie he didn't want to watch!

Why did it have to be like that?!

Vanitas' eyes watered up but he dried the tears as fast and they came. He couldn't cry. He couldn't and he wouldn't! He wasn't weak, no matter what people told him. He felt his body shiver, only then remembering he was still wet from the rain but ignored that. He didn't feel like getting out of bed right now, especially because that man would be waiting for him outside and would certainly do something more. If he as much heard him leaving his bedroom he'd come after him again and Vanitas had had enough of it.

He hated him so much... Hated him, hated him!

The teenager hugged his pillow, brought it closer to his chest and squeezed his eyes shut. His back still hurt and so did his head but he could deal with physical pain.

Vanitas felt a sudden urge to smoke. It was the only think that kept him from freaking out, but he couldn't leave his room right now. He shivered once again, but this time not from the cold. He was extremely and terribly anxious, his stomach was turning and he couldn't control his pounding heart. He just...

He just wanted to forget.

* * *

Ventus had sent a message to Vanitas in the afternoon, but he still hadn't replied. Oh well. He could always talk with him at school on the next day!

When they arrived, there he was again at the street corner. He wasn't standing but sitting on the sidewalk, smoking. The rain wasn't heavy that day, it was actually raining very little, but he didn't seem to mind about looking for shelter.

"Good morning, Vani!"

Vanitas looked to him, greeted him with a nod of his head and looked away again, staring into nothingness.

"Are... Are you coming inside?" The youngest of the twins asked hesitantly.

"Later" Was the raven's response, straight and cold. Ventus nodded and went with his brother, but both were surprised by that. Perhaps he was having a bad day, who never had a bad day, but...

Vanitas entered the classroom much after the bell rang. He sat on his desk and lay his head over it, avoiding everyone's gaze. Ventus didn't say anything, but he was worried. Was he sick?

"...Vani?" He called right before they left for break. Vanitas still hadn't said a word.

"What is it?" He asked and he sounded irritated and angry. Ven frowned, a little tense when he remembered his first days there.

"Will you... Will you stay here today?"

"Yes"

"... 'Kay" Ventus stood up slowly. He wanted to do something for his friend, but by the way he was acting he didn't even know where to start. He went to the schoolyard reluctantly and waited for the end of the break with unease. Roxas shared that feeling with him; Vanitas looked so calm the day before. What could have happened after they parted ways?

"What... What do you think happened to him?" Ventus asked, sad.

"I don't know... But we better leave him alone for now" Roxas said and Ventus followed his advice. Vanitas only spoke to them again when, at the end of the day, he returned his umbrella.

"No, it's okay. You can keep it until you get another one for yourself. What if tomorrow is raining too? I don't want you to get a cold, remember?" Ventus said playfully. Vanitas didn't react to that, merely thanked him ( _"I'll return it to you soon"_ ) and left.

On the following day the rain was even stronger. Aqua, who was already used to seeing the two boys always talking, found it odd how distant they looked right now. She tried talking to Vanitas but he ignored her and when Ventus said he didn't know what was wrong she fell in dismay. She wasn't the only one; Ventus felt really bad. It hurt to see Vanitas clearly depressed and still be unable to do anything to help.

"Vani... I think... I think it might do you good if you came with us for break today" Vanitas glared to him and only then Ventus saw how deep were the dark circles under his eyes. He hadn't slept one bit for the past two days "You know, to get some fresh air. Talk a little bi-"

"What you think does not interest me, Ven"

Ventus swallowed "I... I just want to help you, Vani"

Vanitas sighed. He knew that... But he knew himself too. He didn't care about keeping everything to himself and never talk about it with anyone, but if Ventus continued like this he'd end up saying what he shouldn't.

"I know"

He ended up going to the schoolyard for break but he felt awful, especially because he couldn't focus on anything. Why should he, after all? He wasn't even supposed to be here in the first place. An unwanted child. Unable to make a living. Unable to be someone in life. Just.. Someone who deserved to die.

His mind was spinning and he did everything automatically, barely paying attention to where he went or to his surroundings. Ventus was afraid for him; he looked exhausted and was really pale so the boy walked really close to him. For the first time, however, he wasn't sure if he should stay "Can I... Can I join you?"

"If you want to"

He sat away from everyone else, crossing his arms and staying in silence. Ven didn't leave him. If staying close was all he could do, then he'd do it! And that was exactly what he did for the next few days of the week, while Vanitas became colder and colder. Only on friday Ventus tried to start a conversation with him again.

"Geez, that class was so boring!" The smaller boy began. Roxas was sick since tuesday so it had been three days since Ventus came to school alone and left with Vanitas until they took different paths "I just can't understand how someone like Axel can like Saix so much!"

Vanitas didn't reply, but Ventus was getting used to that. it didn't mean that he liked it; it actually bothered the boy but since he didn't complain he must be... Kind of alright?

"I hope we get to do something fun this weekend. We could try and play some games again!" He turned to the raven excitedly "Remember how you and my brother beat me and Axel? We could play as a team this time! It'd be so cool now that you know how to play too!"

"Hm"

Ventus frowned sadly and sighed. He really wished he could do something more for him... So he tried.

"Look, Vani... I... I don't know what happened, but... I want to see you smile again!" He said, blushing a little before he continued "Things will get better soon! Everything will be alright, okay?" The boy said with a smile. Vanitas was important to him, someone special. He wanted to make him feel good but Vanitas didn't react like he expected him to. Instead, he turned to him and narrowed his eyes. Ventus was trying to help, only trying to help, but how could he? Everything would be alright? Things would get better? Who was he to say that? What did he think he knew about him?! Thoughts of sadness and anger took over Vanitas. Unable to sleep, unable to think straight, he had had enough and something inside him woke up. Something he couldn't control.

"It won't"

"Uh?" Ventus looked to him confused.

"It won't be alright. It never was and never will be!" Exclaimed the raven, stopping before him.

No, no, no, what was he doing?! He had to stop now, he'd never hurt Ven, never! He couldn't hurt him, he was his friend, Vanitas liked him-

"You live in this little world of yours where everything works out, where everybody gets along but it's time to grow up and see that none of that is real, Ventus!"

"Why... Why are you yelling?"' Ven asked and this time he wasn't just sad; he was afraid by the way Vanitas stared at him.

"Yelling is the only way I get through that thick shitty skull of yours, kid!" Vanitas continued, poking him in the head stronger than he should. Ventus closed his eyes, stepping backwards.

"Vani, what are you doing?!"

Sora and Riku had just left the school when they saw them outside. Sora watched them ready to intervene if needed and Riku did the same, but they waited. More students realized what was happening and started to gather around the boys.

"Here's the thing: I've had enough of you!" Continued Vanitas, telling himself to stop but he had already started now and anger guided him "I just want you to shut the hell up and leave me be! I want to be alone! Want me to write it down?!"

Ventus didn't reply. He couldn't, paralized on the same spot he was. Was... Was Vanitas really saying those terrible things to him? Why? And why now?!

"What happened?!" The blonde exclaimed at last. That wasn't his friend, something was wrong. Vanitas would never say something like that to him! "What happened on monday after school? Is that the reason you're acting like this?!"

"What happened was that I realized all you do is waste my time! It happened that I'm at my wits' end and I want you to get the hell out of my face!"

"Why don't you tell me truth?! Why are you hiding it from me?! I can help you, I'm your friend!"

"My... My friend?" Vanitas smiled, not in the way Ventus loved but in a way that sent shivers down his spine. His eyes had never looked so menacing before "You were never my friend! Why the fuck did you think you were?!"

Those words cut through him like knives. Ventus widened his eyes. He was really saying that... He was really saying that!

"W-" Ventus' hands started shaking "W-What do you mean?"

"Oh, there you go again! See why I have to yell?! You won't fucking listen to me if I don't!"

"Hey, stop that!" It was Sora, standing before Vanitas and his friend, Riku by his side "What's wrong with you?!"

"Why don't you mind your own business, Sora?" Vanitas spoke and turned to Ventus with clenched teeth only to then realize how much he had hurt him.

Ventus didn't move. He didn't move but his eyes were shining with tears that threatened to roll down his face. On that moment Vanitas knew he had gone too far. He had gone too far, but he still felt so much pain! Why was he taking it out on the person he valued the most?

"Why did you lie to me...?" Ventus started, looking to him "If... If you didn't want... If you didn't want to be my friend, you just had to say it. D... Did you really have to go and humiliate me like this, Vanitas?!"

It had been so long since he called him by his full name. He had gotten so used to the nickname he called him by...

"Ah, boo hoo! Are you gonna cry now?" Vanitas asked and in his mind begged himself to stop, begged himself not to make things worse but he could no longer control the things he was saying while taking out all of the hatred he had kept for himself "Well then, looks like I won the bet, didn't I? I told you, Ventus!"

"Be-..." That was more than enough. Taking a few seconds to process what Vanitas had just said, Ventus lost his breath and started to cry, to sob in front of everyone " Is... Is that it? All this time... A-All this time you've been thinking about that **damn bet?!** "

Vanitas didn't reply, looking away. He couldn't bear to look at him like that knowing Ven was crying because of him!

"I thought... I-I thought I meant something to you! S-Something, but you n-never really cared, did you?!" Ventus couldn't stop trembling. His throat was terribly dry and his legs were shaking. He wasn't simply hurt, it was much more than that "You... You don't really care about anyone else but you! Even... Even if..."

Vanitas closed his eyes. It was too late to apologize now. It was too late but... But he promised to never hurt Ven. And there he was now. Riku stared to him furious and Sora walked to his friend to give him support but Ventus felt so awful that all he wanted now was to go home. He wanted to stay away from there, stay away and leave Vanitas behind! Because that's what he wanted, wasn't it? If he won the bet, Ventus would stop talking to him. And that's was he was going to do!

" **Even if someone really cares about you!** "

Ventus ran away. He ran away, he wanted to disappear from there, he wanted his home, he wanted his brother! Why hadn't he listened to him?! Did he really think Vanitas gave a damn about him?! Why had he been so stupid?!

"Are you mad?" Sora shouted to the older boy "Look what you've done!"

The students who were watching didn't get involved but soon started to give their opinions on what just happened while Vanitas watched Ventus disappear into the distance. He wanted to run after him and apologize. He'd beg for his apology if needed, but he wasn't going to do it. He wasn't going to do it because he didn't have the right to anymore. Vanitas ignored what everyone said around him, broken inside. Ven...

It started to rain again and it slowly got stronger, forcing the students to walk away after shelter. Vanitas then felt someone grab him by the shirt and shake him. It was Sora and he was shouting at him. Riku ran to his friend, worried that Vanitas might hurt him but the raven did nothing. He deserved those insults.

"Sora-"

"He likes you! He likes you so much, why did you have to do that to him?!"

Vanitas didn't look straight to him. He was ashamed. He felt miserable. He had just treated Ventus the same way his father treated him. He heard Sora shout at him once again, waiting for him to react.

"Say something, you asshole!"

For a few seconds Vanitas said nothing. Finally, he looked Sora in the eye and the boy clenched his teeth.

"Let me go"

Sora didn't want to, but he did it. He did it because there wasn't much he could do now and he didn't want to make the situation worse. Vanitas then sighed and turned around, leaving them behind as he walked home.

He put the hood over his head, feeling the water slowly reaching his body. It would be a long way home and he was alone, just like he always used to be. Just like he should be, just like he deserved to be, and he followed his path in silence, telling himself that what now ran down his cheeks were just drops of rain.


	24. Chapter 24

Roxas was in their living room, laying on the sofa and watching TV when he heard the front door open and close abruptly. He saw Ventus run by him and could swear he heard him sob as he went to their bedroom without looking back. Roxas immediately stood up and went after his brother.

"Ven?!"

Ventus barely saw the steps as he went up the stairs, the tears blurring his vision. He left his backpack on the floor and threw himself on the bed, grabbing his pillow and burying his face in it as he broke down crying. Roxas arrived just seconds later and only stopped when he was next to him, worried.

"Ven, what happened?!" Roxas asked but Ventus didn't look at him. He didn't want to see anyone right now. He felt like an idiot, stupid for caring so much for someone who didn't give a damn about him!

"W-w-hy didn't I b-believe y-you...?"

Roxas held his breath and sat closer to the younger boy, putting a hand over his shoulder. He was awfully wet... Did he come running in the rain?

"Ven... Ven, calm down-"

"W-What did I do t-to him? W-Was it something I said? I-I-I didn't do anything!" Ventus spoke devastated, trembling desperately and speaking in such a broken tone that it directly affected his brother. What called his attention however was what Ventus said...

 _To him?_ Roxas frowned "Brother... Bro, look at me. Tell me, what happened?"

At that moment the boys' mother entered their bedroom. Roxas looked at her with a helpless look but didn't leave his brother's side until he finally turned to him, still unable to stop crying.

"V-Vanitas, Rox! H-He... H-He h-hates me a-and I don' even k-know wh-why...!"

He then threw himself in his brother's arms who hugged him tightly while caressing his head. Roxas said nothing and sighed sadly seeing how Ventus was shaking from nervousness. The woman walked to her boys and tried to comfort her son, holding his face in her hands.

"Sweetheart..."

"I-I'm such an i-idiot, mom...!"

"Shh..."

She tried to calm him down as much as she could. Roxas let him go and watched as he sobbed before their mother while trying to tell them what happened. He didn't manage to, it simply hurt too much to talk about it, and yet Roxas could only think about one thing.

Vanitas. They would see him only in two days from now but his will was to go after him at that instant! What Roxas would do to him he didn't know yet but didn't think much about it, letting his anger flow along with Ventus' tears. He took a deep breath, waiting for his little brother to calm down before trying to talk to him again but Ven didn't want to talk. After crying so much, all he wanted was to be left alone for a while.

Both his brother and mother understood that and left him in the bedroom. Roxas hated to see Ventus like that and their mother looked equally sad; she had seen Vanitas just a few times but he was always so kind to her son and seemed to be really fond of him. Knowing Roxas' temper however and aware of how protective he was of his little brother, she just hoped he wouldn't get into trouble.

Soon everyone knew about what had happened. If Roxas was angry before, after what Sora and Riku told him he was furious! He had Vanitas' cellphone number; he could call him and tell him everything he wanted to but he thought better: He'd talk to him face to face on monday.

Ventus couldn't remember a weekend that took so long to end like that one. Whenever he stopped to think about what happened, the first thing that came into his mind was how Vanitas had looked at him. There was fury in his eyes, there was rage and hatred, just like when he fought Max and their friends months ago. Ventus couldn't understand why he'd looked to him that way and the more he tried to understand the more depressed he felt.

It hurt so much to think about the raven. They had had fun together and got so close... And Vanitas had changed so much that he actually seemed to enjoy being with him but then why...

Despite how much it hurt, however, Ventus waited. Maybe Vanitas would call him apologizing and explaining why he had behaved like he did. Maybe send a message... Anything for him to stop feeling so sad like this!

Suddenly, his cellphone vibrated. He picked it with with apprehension until he saw it was a message but not from who he expected.

 **Ienzo**  
 _Ven, if you need something, anything, just call me - 2:49 PM_  
 _Don't think twice, alright? - 2:49 PM_

Ventus smiled weakly, thankful. He shouldn't forget his other friends, those who truly cared for him and didn't think of him as part of... Of a bet.

He wondered about what Vanitas was doing right now. He was probably chilling at home, laughing in delight while thinking of his stupid face as he insulted him before everyone while Ventus himself was crying around the house like a freaking child. It was saturday but he already dreaded meeting him on monday... It was the last thing he wanted even if, deep inside, he knew that wasn't true.

On that same day, while trying to read something to distract himself, Roxas told Axel about what happened, mumbling and grumbling as he did. Ventus felt uncomfortable with that, but decided to stay quiet and said nothing more throughout the weekend.

* * *

When Vanitas arrived home on friday he ignored whatever it was that his father said to him and walked straight to his bedroom. He left his backpack aside and sat on the bed, ignoring if he was going to wet it or not.

He lost track of how much time he just stood there, trying to arrange his thoughts. As much as he tried, however, the only thing that came into his mind was how Ventus had looked at him. There was so much sadness and pain in his eyes that he felt terrible just thinking about it. He remembered how he lost his breath before sobbing in front of everyone. It was a scene he wished he'd never have to witness and yet it was his own fault that it happened!

But why worry about that so much? It was just a matter of time before the boy had enough of him and left him anyway. Also, the boy was so annoying! Of course he had never considered him a real friend. And even if he had, why care about it now? He had always been alone and it had never been a problem before.

Vanitas breathed deeply. Yeah. He'd follow that line of thought. That way it would be easier to accept what happened instead of beating himself up over something that could have been but was no more. He only needed to resume his life from where it had stopped, to remember how it was before he met the blonde and move forward. With that in mind the teenager stood up, got himself some dry clothes and went to take a bath.

He didn't think of anything, trying to focus only in how the hot water ran down his cold body. His will was to stay there the entire day, only relaxing while having nothing to do, and for a few minutes it was what he did until his father banged on the door.

"Are you deaf?! Didn't I tell you to stop wasting so much water?!"

Vanitas let out a sigh, coming out of his transe and turning the shower off. He was drying himself when he noted the scars he had in his right arm. They were barely visible now, but he remembered very well what his skin looked like after being wounded... He laughed at himself.

Just another ordinary day in his life. His father arrived home late, screaming about something he didn't understand and freaked out. Xehanort wasn't really drunk that day but there was a bottle over the table and it was what he used when he went against Vanitas, breaking it against his shoulder and tearing his arm when he tried to defend himself.

If it wasn't for Ventus cleaning up that wound the inflammation would have certainly gotten worse due to that piece of broken glass that was digging into his skin. He narrowed his eyes and opened the cabinet to check if the aid kit Ventus gave him was still there. At least Xehanort hadn't messed with that too... He needed to return it to the boy.

Once he changed clothes he left the bathroom and went to the kitchen; he was starving but with no energy to cook. There should be some rice leftover in the fridge...

"Is it funny to ignore me?" Xehanort was sitting at the table, eating from a packed lunch he bought for himself.

"No sir" Vanitas did not want any more trouble. It wasn't like he had any right to say anything there anyway.

"Good. Listen here" Xehanort pointed the fork to him "I invited some friends over today. You have two options, you can stay away from home until they leave or lock yourself inside your room while they're here. What will it be?"

"At what time?" Asked the teenager. Interesting; it wasn't always that he got to choose.

"Tonight. You better decide before they arrive"

"Yes sir"

Xehanort mumbled something under his breath before looking to his food and pointing to what was left of it "You want it?"

Vanitas heard his stomach growl. That wouldn't be enough to satisfy his hunger so he denied it and went to the fridge, looking for something else. He decided to heat what was left of the rice, eggs and eat that.

After lunch the young man didn't feel like doing anything. However, he wanted to keep his mind occupied somehow and decided to go outside, putting his cigarette pack in his pocket and leaving. The heavy rain from before held off and he took that as an opportunity to walk without hurry.

He wasn't kidding when he said that his neighborhood was dangerous. People were constantly robbed and the violence was truly scary sometimes. And yet he didn't feel afraid. Maybe he didn't know to fight properly, but he learned everything he knew about attacking and defending there, picking up fights with older people. As he grew up he became a very audacious teen and more than once returned home injured, having to deal with his wounds alone. It was then that he started to smoke and found out how much it helped him to calm down.

Vanitas ran his hand through his hair before getting his lighter and trying to light a cigarette, only to realize it was out of gas. Irritated, he walked for a few more minutes before he saw two familiar faces up ahead. Those were a 19th years old boy and a 18th years old young girl and both were sitting at the entrance of a closed store. The girl too had a cigarette in her hand while the other teenager merely stared into the distance.

"Hey, looks who's here!" Exclaimed the boy, Robert. Vanitas greeted him with a nod of his head, turning to the young woman.

"What's up, Vani" She said "It's been a while since we saw you walking around the place"

"You got a light?" He asked straight away, showing his yet to be lit cigarette. She smiled, approaching him and running her hands over his abdomen with no hesitation.

"A light, hm? Well... I could give you something else if you want"

He stared to her with pure disinterest and held her hand, slowly pushing it away "You got a lighter in there or not?"

"Wow, okay. Geez!" She gave her lighter to him "You used to be more fun before, you know"

"Leave him alone, Chris! You know he doesn't like women" Robert said.

"Yeah, well... I don't remember him complaining last time when we did it. Right, Vani?"

Vanitas returned her lighter and sat on the sidewalk "Don't call me like that"

"Someone's in a bad mood today" She said and that was the end of their conversation. Each one of them had their own problems but talking about them had never been their forte. Nowadays they could only consider themselves colleagues, no longer friends even, but it was better that way. Enough of living in the past.

The sun was going down when Vanitas remembered he should be at home so he stood up, picked up the four smoked cigarettes from the floor and took them with him. He waved goodbye to them, soon arriving home.

Some of his father's friends were already there. Xehanort stared at him with anger when he arrived but Vanitas didn't mind and went to his bedroom, locking himself inside. He felt so tired, so exhausted but no matter how much the tried to sleep all he did was to roll around the bed and get even more frustrated.

Maybe he wasn't thinking about anything at the moment, but deep inside he was suffocating.

* * *

"Ven... Ven, it's time"

Ventus knew it. He had woke up long before the alarm went off but remained silent on the bed while trying to control his nervousness. He didn't want to go to school, but if he didn't it would be harder for him the next day. He had to be strong, even if he didn't want to.

"I'm coming" He replied in a low tone and let Roxas have breakfast first. Ventus got up a while later and washed his face, rubbing his eyes. It felt so difficult to change his clothes and leave the bedroom and once he did it he had only a few minutes before going to school. He threw a piece of cake in his mouth, drank a cup of milk in a single sip and said goodbye to his mother, who hugged him tightly before letting him go.

He and his brother didn't exchange any words while they walked. Ventus was depressed and avoided eye contact with anyone who passed by him. walking with his head down. And yet he couldn't help but raise his head when they arrived at the street corner where Vanitas was always waiting for him. To his relief and sadness, he wasn't there.

Ventus thought that maybe Vanitas had skipped school and it would've been great if that was true but he hadn't; he was inside, standing with both hands in his pants' pockets while waiting for the bell to ring. He seemed to be even more nervous and impatient than he was on friday. Sora and Riku didn't hide how angry they were with him and glared at the boy but Vanitas didn't care or at least pretended not to.

He was the first one to enter the classroom, leaning over the desk. Roxas told Ventus to sit somewhere else, further away from him if needed, but he denied it and stood still. The blonde then opened his book and once the lesson started tried to pay attention only to what the teacher was saying, but he felt anxious as well and constantly lost his focus. Luckily for him Luxord didn't say a word.

This same scenario repeated itself for the next days. Vanitas became more irritated as Ventus became more depressed. He had managed to control himself until now, but it got harder with each passing day.

On thursday of that same week Ventus left for break accompanied by Ienzo and Xion. The two of them were really worried about him and wanted to understand why such a thing had happened since Vanitas didn't seem to be fine either.

"How are you, Ven?" Asked the girl.

"I'm kinda down..." Replied the blonde. The fact that all his friend knew about what happened left him embarrassed, mostly because he didn't want anyone to know what he truly felt towards the raven.

"It'll be alright" Ienzo said with a smile. Xion agreed.

"Yeah, we are here for you! Don't forget that, okay?"

The boy nodded, smiling unwillingly and leaving with them to their usual spot where the others waited for them. It would've been great for Ventus to relax with them... If they stopped talking about what happened with him that is. Roxas and Sora were really angry and were discussing about it, directing all comments of hate towards Vanitas. Maybe they thought that would help him, but it only made the boy feel even more miserable and not long after that he decided to leave and go to the bathroom.

He leaned on the sink and washed his face, fighting back the tears. Vani didn't look well either. And there was still that something that happened to him on monday but he had no means of knowing what it was...

He was still close to the sink when Max entered, apparently not minding him there. The blonde took a deep breath lost in his own thoughts when the other teenager talked to him.

"What a mess, uh"

Ventus turned to him. He was aware that the entire school knew about what happened, but was it really necessary to go around talking about it? The teen continued, a playful smirk on his face.

"You don't have to reply. I mean, you must be scared... And I don't blame you"

Ventus looked away. Vanitas told him not to let his guard down when Max and his friends were around, but...

"And you don't even know what Vanitas did on his 9th grade... Beat up a kid so bad that broke his teeth. The poor boy even left the school after that, he was so scared..." Max looked to him "Kiddo... Vanitas isn't a good thing. Don't take him lightly. And don't ever let your guard down when he's aro-"

"What are you doing here?!" Asked a third voice. Max turned to the door, now smiling even wider.

"Speaking of the devil"

The blonde swallowed in silence when his eyes and Vanitas' met. He seemed to be in a extreme bad mood and it was obvious that he wasn't sleeping well, perhaps even less than he was before. Max looked from one to the other.

"I came to piss. Why, can't I?" He asked ironically and Vanitas took another step forward.

"Stay away from Ven!"

"Why? He's not yours for you to go around deciding who can be with him or not!"

"Max-"

"Don't..." Ventus started. He didn't want to, he couldn't say a word but to simple be in the presence of Vanitas brought back every single thought he had had since they parted ways. He hated himself when he started to cry without noticing "D-Don't call me Ven!"

They needed to cut their ties. They had to be just colleagues or Ventus wouldn't be able to get over it. Vanitas didn't know how to react at first and held his breath for a second, looking at him.

It was the cue Max needed. He laughed and went to the door "I think I'm interrupting something here so... Talk to you later, kid!"

And then he left, leaving the two alone. They had been together at that same place before, but the situation had been very different from what it was now. They looked to each other for a few seconds and Ven, seeing Vanitas so tired like that, wanted to approach him. He wanted to hug him, to ask for an explanation for his sudden outburst, hoping he would say it had all been a misunderstanding but he couldn't!

Vanitas too wanted to say something. He wanted to apologize, even if he felt he didn't deserve his apology. He hesitated ".. Ven, I..."

"What did you do?!" It was Roxas. He had seen Vanitas entering the bathroom and ran over there, walking straight to the raven when he saw how close he was to Ven. Not thinking about what he was doing, Roxas grabbed him by his arms and pushed him against the wall, glaring at him. Vanitas didn't offer any resistance.

"Rox-!" Ventus intervened. The situation was bad enough, there was no need to make it worse!

"You like making my brother cry, you asshole?! What the hell do you want anyway?!"

"Are you going to fight me?" Vanitas asked in a mocking tone "Are you sure you want to do that?"

"It's the least I can do after what you've done to my brother, you-!"

At that point Ventus was already by his side, pulling his arms away and hoping that his presence there would prevent Vanitas from hurting his brother. Eve if he wasn't there however Vanitas wasn't going to do anything. He had said and done something regrettable before, but it would be needed much more than that for him to use force. Roxas' reaction was comprehensible, Ventus' as well, and yet he didn't as much move a finger while Roxas pushed him against the wall, closing his fingers over his arm.

"Rox, please, let go of him-"

"Quiet, Ven! He doesn't deserve your pity!"

"Roxas, stop!"

Vanitas didn't dare to look at Ventus, letting his brother do as he pleased. Hell, maybe if the boy actually punched him in the face he still wouldn't do anything and Roxas was seriously thinking about doing that but didn't have enough time to: Other students realized something was happening there and called Xaldin for help, who then entered the bathroom and now stared at the three of them.

"What is going on here?!" He questioned in a loud tone. Roxas jumped, suddenly very tense.

"Nothing" Vanitas said, staring to the older blonde with his eyebrows lifted "Isn't that right?"

Roxas got the message. At least both agreed that to get scolded wouldn't do them any good. He then took a step back, leaving Vanitas to do what he wanted and the raven walked away from him, stopping before the adult.

"Am I in trouble?"

"The three of you are!" Exclaimed the adult, nervous "If I see any of you doing anything suspicious, I won't think twice before taking you directly to Yen Sid! He'll deal with you just fine!"

Vanitas nodded without a care and left the bathroom as if nothing had just happened. In some way it really hadn't... But, no matter how much he denied it, the way his heartbeat rushed when he looked to Ventus was an obvious sign that the blonde still meant a lot to him.

Inside the bathroom, Ventus finally pulled himself together and forced Roxas to look at him.

"Why did you do that?!"

"Ven, don't lie to me! You're crying for a reason, what did he do this time?!"

"Can't I even feel sad anymore?!" Exclaimed the boy "He didn't do anything, brother! And... And I don't want you to fight him or hurt him! Please, Roxas!"

"But why? He hurt you, Ven! I'm not letting that go, of course I'll do something!"

"I don't want you to! Leave him alone, okay? I don't like to see him like this!"

"But Ven-"

"Is it really that hard to understand that I like him the same way you like Axel, Roxas?!"

Ventus burst through the door, leaving his brother behind. Roxas watched him leave in awe, still processing what he had just said and Xaldin sneered, scaring him. He had forgotten the adult was there!

"I believe you won't be causing any more troubles around, right, boy?"

"N... N-No, sir" He replied automatically, still thinking of his brother as the man left. He remembered when Axel spoke of the way Ventus looked to Vanitas... And he did pay more attention to that since then, but Ventus was always so cheerful with everyone so he wasn't really sure of it. But now...

When he finally left the bathroom he saw Ventus talking to Ienzo and Xion a few meters from him, arms crossed and looking even more sad than before. Roxas could've gone back to their usual spot but thought better and left for the classroom alone.

* * *

"Yes, I heard... We all did, actually" Said Aqua.

The teacher, Xion and Ienzo were all talking at the school board. The two of them were really worried about Ventus and Vanitas and both agreed they wouldn't be able to do much without truly understanding why exactly such a thing happened. Upon agreeing with that, they then decided to talk to the one teacher they trusted the most.

"We don't know what to do" Xion continued "Because well... We know something happened to Vanitas before the fight"

Ienzo agreed "Indeed. He changed completely overnight. No one knows what exactly it was... And then on friday he treated Ven like that"

"And you said they had been spending more time together? Even outside of school?" The woman asked.

"Yes, they've become really close, teacher!" Xion exclaimed "And I think..."

She blushed. The girl wasn't sure she should talk about that but Ienzo thought the same thing and by the way they shared glances Aqua deduced what they meant.

"You think they like each other?"

"Yes" Xion said at last "I mean... I'm sure Ven likes him. I went out with both of them one day and it was just so obvious to me. And... I don't know, the way he looks at him? You know what I'm talking about, right?"

Aqua giggled. That wasn't the first time she had to deal with an argument between teenagers in her life as a professor and it certainly wouldn't be the last either. She would do anything she could to help her students, of course, and was thankful to the teens for coming to her for help.

"I'm glad you worry about you friends that much" She said, smiling with care "I'll do what I can, okay? But you'll need to give them whatever support they need"

The two of them agreed, smiling and thanking her. Aqua had talked to Ventus about Vanitas before and she knew he'd tell her everything that happened if she asked him. The real problem was the raven... She had tried to approach him many times before but he never allowed anyone to get close enough to him . Aqua hoped she could find something out this time, but she wasn't too hopeful. However, if something happened to him before the argument with Ven...

Vanitas clearly didn't have a good relationship with his father at home. Perhaps a fatherly figure was all he really needed.

It was with that in mind that she told her husband about her conversation with Ienzo and Xion and asked him to try and talk to the teenager. Terra agreed immediatelly and waited for the day he'd have lessons with him.

When the day came Terra entered the classroom joyful as always, but turned his attention to Vanitas, who was leaning on the desk hiding his face in his arms. The professor sighed and began his lesson but he didn't give them too much to do. Once most of them had finished his exercises he let his students leave for break ten minutes earlier and they all left happy without looking back... Except for one of them.

"Vanitas" He called when the teenager stood up "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

The raven mumbled something under his breath but sat down again, crossing his arms. Only when everyone was outside of the classroom did Terra go to him, sitting in front of the boy.

"Are you okay? How are things doing?" The teacher smiled softly and Vanitas rolled his eyes. Every now and then someone would come to him and make that damn question.

Terra looked attentively to him; his eyes showed nothing but exhaustion and his stress was noticeable, be it because of the deep circles beneath his eyes, be it by the way he now dug his nails on his arm apparently without noticing it.

"Good"

The teacher nodded. That boy had always been a hard one to understand, precisely because he never said anything and every meeting with his father took them nowhere. Most of the teachers considered him a lost cause who never did anything due to simply being lazy, but Aqua always told him they were wrong and he agreed. Still, it was so difficult to do something for him...

"Great. You're doing better at classes. That's really good!" Vanitas narrowed his eyes and the teacher continued cautious "And at home? Is everything alright?"

"Normal. Same as usual. Can I leave now?"

Terra sighed "I'm sorry... You look tired"

The boy clenched his teeth, impatient "And?"

"And we are worried about you"

"We, uh? You and who else?" His tone of voice changed perceptively. Terra continued.

"We all are... But mostly your friends"

Vanitas felt his stomach churning "Is this some kind of joke?"

"Hm? Why would it be?"

"I don't have any friends, not here!" Vanitas replied vehemently, breathing a little uneasier than before "If someone told you the contrary then forget it!"

"I'm not so sure... I mean, I don't think Xion and Ienzo would have asked us to help if they didn't care about you"

The boy didn't move, his eyes widened in surprise. What had that stupid girl and that freaking nerd done? Did they really want him to stay there, being interrogated by a teacher? All of that for what?!

"You are lying" He replied but although he looked serious his voice was slowly breaking. Ienzo and Xion... He had nothing against them, not anymore. Not anymore... He felt confused and even more irritated "You are lying, they have no reason to do that!"

"But they did. They are worried about you, Vanitas. And so is Ventus"

Of course. Ventus was their friend, of course they'd be worried about the boy. The teacher had only come to talk to him because he used to be with the blonde, that's all. He didn't really make a difference, why was he so surprised?

"They are not!" Vanitas felt a lump in his throat. It had been more than a week holding it all once again and if this kept going... He deepened his nails into his skin and Terra held his breath "They are not, no one is... No one ever was!"

He was angry. He was angry but most of all he was sad. He was sad and disappointed with himself, hating himself for becoming exactly what his father insisted on repeating every single time. A failure, a no one who deserved nothing at all! Why believe he was worth something if he knew he wasn't?!

"That's not true, Vanitas. There are people who care about you! You are importan-"

"Important? Important?!" He teared up and slammed his hands over the desk, cursing himself for letting his emotions get the best out of him again and, worst of all, in front of a teacher! "How can you say that? You know nothing about me!"

"I don't have to know you to tell you this: You are not alone, Vanitas. You can count on us whenever you n-"

"No! No, stop that! Why would I trust you? Why would I trust in any of you?!" He was about to break again and got even more nervous as he realized that. He had never been affected like this before, why now? "You should stop lying to your students. You should stop lying to me!"

"Vanitas-" Terra stretched his hand to him by impulse. Before he could even touch him however the teen pushed his hand away in an instinctive reaction.

"Don't touch me!" He screamed furiously. Did they really have to push him like this? Why wouldn't they leave him alone?! Vanitas didn't want to be comforted, he didn't need that.

He...

"Why? Why do every single one of you do that?!" He screamed and closed his fists over the table, the tears threatening to fall down "You... Y-You act like you can fix everything. Like... Like you can actually take care of us, but guess what? You can't! You fucking can't, no one can!"

"... Vanitas" The boy continued to scream.

"N-No one... G-Gives a damn! It doesn't matter what we do! It d-d-doesn't... It d-... Shit!"

Vanitas' voice broke and the tears started to run down his cheeks. He shut his eyes tighly, trying his best to hold those freaking emotions inside but they had already taken control of him and he clutched his chest, letting out a painful sigh before he broke down and started to sob.

"W-Who am I kidding?" He said, choking in his words and covering his face with the back of his hand "I-I'm the one... The one to blame, why... Why am I like this, why do I always fuck everything up?!"

Terra just looked at him, moved by what he saw and heard. That was a part of Vanitas that he hid for far too long and it hurt so much to see him like this. Although surprised however, he found it understandable. Anyone who stayed by themselves all the time certainly held too much in the inside... And something in the teenager's voice told Terra that he wasn't just talking about what happened between him and Ventus.

"E-Everyone... E-everyone leaves... Everyone leaves because of me, because I'm an idiot! Because I always do something wrong, because.. -!" He had no one. And whenever someone got close to him he always messed it all up! His mother left him... His colleagues from school... Ephemera... And now he had lost Ventus too!

His entire body was shaking and he covered his face with both hands. He couldn't stop no matter how much he tried, no matter how much he wanted. Just like he didn't manage to control his anger before, he couldn't control his sadness now, not after so long.

"I-I... I don't understand, professor" He lifted his gaze just enough to look at him "What have I done to deserve this?!"

Vanitas continued to cry and once again hid his face in his hands, ashamed. He trembled, thinking about so many things at once that he was breathless from sobbing. Terra let him cry for a few seconds and then stood up only to kneel beside him.

"It will be alright" He said, patting him lightly on his back and staying right next to the boy.

"I-I-I'm sorry..." Vanitas said. He looked to the adult, crying, almost begging for him to make the pain stop and Terra, realizing that, brought him closer before the boy denied it.

And Vanitas didn't. He let the teacher hold him in his arms and hugged him back, hiding his face in Terra's embrace and crying his heart out. He just needed someone, anyone who could hold him in their arms like that and make him feel safe. He wanted to stop feeling so sad all the time. He wanted to stop feeling so scared at home.

The teenager closed his fingers around his teacher's shirt tightly as if afraid he would leave him alone, as if asking him not to let go. And for as long as it was needed for Vanitas to calm down, Terra didn't.


	25. Chapter 25

When Vanitas was able to stop crying, Terra gave him some space and watched him as he dried his tears with both hands, sniffing while trying to regain his self-control. The teenager breathed in and out a few times; his head was throbbing nonstop and all he wanted at the moment was to sleep. Terra saw how tired he was and put a hand on his shoulder, speaking calmly.

"You're excused from my class today. You can stay here or go to the schoolyard, whatever makes you feel better" Vanitas nodded in silence, staring to his own hands now resting over his legs "Whose is next class?"

He thought a little bit "M... Marluxia's , I think"

"Good. I'll talk to him so you won't have to worry about his lessons either. What do you think?"

Vanitas nodded again. He felt even more tired now but lighter than before. God, if his father saw him crying like that he would be so angry... "Thank you, professor"

"There's no need to thank me!" The adult replied and smiled with care, standing up. He looked to his watch; there were five minutes left of break "I'm going to get coffee. Do you want some? It might do you good"

"Thank you, but no" If he drank coffee he would end up waking up and right now he really wanted to fall asleep. The teacher then turned his back to him and walked to the door but was called again.

"I'm sorry for wasting your time" Said the teenager.

"You didn't waste my time. Everything's fine, Vanitas. Oh, and..." Terra smiled again "If you need something, and I mean anything, don't think twice before looking for me alright? You can trust me!

That teacher might not have as much control over his students as his wife, but had a heart as good as hers. Vanitas thanked him once again, truly grateful, and let him go get his coffee before laying his head over the desk and closing his eyes. It didn't take him long to fall asleep.

It had been a while since he slept so easily. He was exhausted and, regardless if it happened at school, those few minutes of sleep made him feel better. In fact, he wasn't sure of when he would've woken up if the teacher hadn't called him.

He felt a soft shake in his arm and lifted his head trying to see who it was, very sleepy. Marluxia was calling for him.

"Class is over, young man. Time to go home"

There was no one else in the classroom. Vanitas rubbed his face with his hands, forcing himself to wake up despite the absurd will to lay down and sleep for the rest of the day. From the moment he stood up he only thought of his bed and felt a tremendous relief when he finally arrived home.

"You're late again" Grumbled Xehanort while watching TV.

"I'm not feeling well" His son replied without looking at him "I'll go to my room"

He wouldn't be surprised if only minutes later Xehanort came to bang at the door but he felt so happy just for looking to his bed that, even if that did happen, he would hardly wake up. Vanitas didn't even change his clothes before letting himself fall over the mattress and enjoying his laziness.

* * *

"You what?" Axel asked exasperated from the other end of the phone.

Although it had already been four days since Roxas had faced Vanitas he had said nothing to Axel until now. He would have told him everything on that same day if it wasn't for the guilt he felt for leaving Ven even more depressed. He expected Axel to react like this of course and sighed.

"Roxas... I know you care about him. He knows that too but did you really think it was a good time to do that?"

"I wasn't even thinking back then" Replied the blonde, curled up on the sofa. His brother was in their bedroom doing who knows what and his parents had left for shopping "When I saw Ven crying I got nervous!"

"I know, Rox... But you need to be sure of things before doing something. It was just a silly misunderstanding but it was enough to affect Ventus. How is he now?"

"He's quiet... Angry, I think, and depressed too. And Axel... You were right."

"About what?"

"When you spoke of... How he looked to Vanitas. He told me, Axel. He said he really likes him"

"No wonder he's so sad then. To lose a friend is hard enough but even harder when you like someone that way... Anyway, what he needs now is your support, Roxas. There's not much to be done, unless..."

Silence. Axel thought a little bit.

"Unless what?"

"I'll talk to Vanitas"

"What?"

"You may not like him, Rox, but from what little I spoke with him I know he used to stay around us because he truly enjoyed doing so. If not he wouldn't even have a reason to go your house the other day. I think something happened... And I'll find out what it was"

"Axel..."

"Stay calm. I won't get anyone else involved"

Roxas sighed. What could he say? He wasn't in a favorable position to do it anyway.

"Alright, just... Tell me about it later"

"Will do!" That said, they changed the subject. Soon they were laughing again, talking about ordinary stuff while upstairs Ventus watched the street from their window. It wasn't the first time he saw Max and his friends walking around the place.

* * *

Vanitas only woke up on the next day when his cellphone alarm went off. He turned on his bed lazily and stared to the ceiling, wondering if he could skip classes... He changed his mind however when he remembered he hadn't spoken with his father yesterday. Was he angry? He hated being ignored for too long.

Ugh...

He went to school. Not that it made too much of a difference since he had stopped paying attention to the lessons a few days ago. He waited anxious for break where he could just sit somewhere and not worry about paying attention to anything at all, so once the bell rang he was the first one to leave the classroom.

Although a little down, Vanitas felt a lot more relaxed now. Besides sleeping more than he had slept the entire month, he had gotten a lot off his chest. He didn't like crying and hated to feel like he was weak, but he couldn't deny he was feeling a lot better now.

He was sitting alone at one of the tables, watching the younger students play volleyball a few meters from there when he heard someone approaching. His heart sped up unconsciously and he asked himself why he thought it would be Ventus. Still, he didn't complain when he saw who it was.

"Do you mind if I stay here with you?" Asked Terra, standing by his side.

"N... No. Feel free"

Terra did it then, joining him in observing the other students. Vanitas crossed his arms, suddenly embarrassed as he remembered how Terra had seen him in such a vulnerable state.

"Do you like sports?" Asked the adult.

"Only as a hobby" Vanitas replied without taking his eye off the others.

"What do you like to play?"

"Volleyball is nice. Prisonball is cool too"

Months ago the boy would have replied harshly, but he had no motives to do that now. He remained calm, only waiting for the teacher to ask more questions.

"Prisonball is great! I loved to play it when I was younger" Terra laughed and crossed his arms as well "It was the only thing I did well back when I was a student"

It was then that Vanitas looked to him, unsure of what he meant. The man continued.

"I was a slow learner. Couldn't memorize too much, you know. It was one of the reasons why I started to isolate myself"

Vanitas didn't take his eyes off him. It was funny to think that someone with a learning difficulty had become a teacher.

"And what happened?"

"I met someone" He smiled and turned to the teenager "Coincidence or not, she's my wife now"

"Oh" Vanitas wasn't expecting that and turned his gaze away and back to the students.

"But she wasn't back then. You know, Aqua... Was the first person who I could truly count with. Before I met her I had no one. It took me a while to feel comfortable around her, but after some time I realized she just wanted to help me overcome my fears"

"That's a beautiful story" Vanitas said, sounding more ironic than he wanted to and quickly apologizing for that "For real, it's... Good that that happened."

"Yes, it is. I always thought I was... Broken. Sometimes I hated myself for being unable to do something no matter how simple it seemed to be. But that wasn't true, it never was. Sometimes we just need someone who can give us a direction. To show us not all is lost"

Vanitas looked to him again. The professor smiled not waiting for an answer or reaction, but the teenager wanted to ask something.

"Did it take you too long to realize it? That you weren't... Broken or something like that?"

"A few years. But even now the thought comes to me sometimes. And it'll keep coming until my last day on this Earth. It's what makes us humans, you see. To live and feel is something normal for us. Something no one should ever feel ashamed of"

The teen looked down. Easier said than done when he had been told to fight back whatever emotion he was feeling his entire life. He stood like that for a while until Terra spoke again.

"I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable, that wasn't my intention. But... Try to think about what I've said. Alright?"

Terra then stood up ready to go back to the staff room when Vanitas spoke.

"Professor-"

"Yes?"

The boy stood in place looking at him, the words stuck in his throat. He wouldn't be able to say it, he knew that, but before he could give up the adult spoke for him.

"Do you want me to stay here with you?"

Vanitas looked down to his own feet and nodded ashamed. Terra smiled and sat next to him again, waiting for the time to pass in his company. He didn't mind being there for him, he wanted to help the boy somehow, and Vanitas once again felt that weird but warm sensation in his chest even if for just a few minutes.

"... Thank you"

* * *

Once he arrived home Vanitas went to the bathroom, noting that Xehanort wasn't there. After washing his face and changing clothes he went to the living room, laying for a bit on the sofa to rest . He picked his cellphone from the backpack and was about to spend a few minutes seeing something on the internet when he realized there was an unread message.

 **Axel**  
 _What's up, man! - 3:23 PM_  
 _I wanted to talk to you, let me know when I can call - 3:23 PM_

Vanitas frowned. What did Axel want with him? Thinking a little about it, Vanitas sent him a message asking what exactly he wanted to talk about and went to the kitchen to get something for himself to eat.

He loved the silence when his father wasn't home. It seemed as if all that negative air disappeared and he could even breathe better. Vanitas got himself some cold chocolate milk and walked back to the sofa. He wondered if his father would take long to return...

The raven ignored that thought and stretched his legs over the sofa, seeing that Axel had already replied saying that he wanted to talk about what had happened at school. Vanitas laughed unwillingly; many things had happened lately. Somehow apprehensive he said Axel could call him and only a second later his cellphone rang.

"Heya!" Greeted Axel in the most friendly way possible.

"Hey"

"How are you doing?"

The raven rolled his eyes "Good. You can go straight to the point now"

Axel sighed "Roxas told me what happened on friday"

It was Vanitas' turn to sigh. There really was no running away from that, was there? Since he went quiet Axel continued.

"You know... I might be a no one to you, but I feel there's something wrong in this situation. I mean, you two got along so well for it all to simply end like this. I really didn't want to intrude, man, but I like both of you and I don't want to see you sad like this. It's enough for Roxas to get all stressed out"

"Yeah, well... Whatever. I think it's a little late for that now, Axel" He replied at last.

"Why would it be?"

"Because..." Vanitas took a deep breath. No use lying anymore, not after crying like a child in front of his teacher "Because I was an idiot. I... I said a lot of horrible things to Ven because of my own problems. He had nothing to do with them"

"Okay... And did you say that to him?"

"He's avoiding me. And with good reason. I don't want to risk hurting him anymore"

Axel smiled "Of course, because you care about him. Even if you try to deny it sometimes"

Vanitas felt his cheeks blush, thankful for being alone. Of course he cared, he cared a lot! He finished drinking his milk and lay down, allowing himself to relax while talking to Axel.

"Look, Vanitas... I won't deny it, Ventus is still really depressed. He got really close to you, you know... And that's why I think it is not too late, on the contrary. It's common for friends to have arguments sometimes. This one might have been a really bad one, but... Ven has a big heart. If you tried talking to him I'm sure he would listen"

"Yes, he's... Way too good" Agreed Vanitas, remembering the blonde was always happy while teaching him how to play chess despite his own temper.

"See? Look, if you really like him you'd want him to be close to you, right?"

"Of course!"

"Then what are you waiting for before apologizing to him, damn it?"

Vanitas thought about it. What stopped him from going after Ventus...

"I think I'm afraid of his answer" It was Axel who went silent this time "Ventus is a good person. He didn't deserve to be treated like that, but... I couldn't hold myself and now it's done. I think about apologizing all the time, but I fear he-"

"Why don't you give him something? You know, to... Break the ice? So you two can talk"

"Something like...?"

"Well, you know him better than me. What does he like?"

The first thing that came into his mind was the candy Lucky Lucky that he so much loved. Then he remembered he liked plushies and thought about that little dog they almost got at the mall. Both things however were just objects. Vanitas wanted something meaningful! Something that...

 _They say that if you share it with someone, you're destined to be with this person forever._

The Wayfinder! Of course, why didn't he think of it before? He had made it with Ventus in mind in the first place, just never managed to actually give it to him. His pride hadn't let him that day, but right now he needed to put that aside if he wanted his friend back.

"There is something... That I think he might like"

"Great! As long as it's something meaningful, you could give it to him. And if he accepts it you two can talk about what happened! There's nothing wrong in being honest about how you truly feel, you know."

Vanitas nodded unconsciously. That was a way, of course... He could do it. Even if Ven ignored him after that, at least he would've tried.

"I'll follow your advice" He said at last. Axel laughed from the other end of the line.

"Don't forget to tell me about it later!"

The raven sneered, laughing "Leave it to me"

* * *

On the following day, Vanitas woke up a little more tense than he should be. He had left the red Wayfinder over his bedside table before sleeping and now looked at it wondering if he should actually take it or not.

Deep inside he was ashamed for doing this; he wasn't used to go around showing his feeling like this. Still, there was no denying that he wanted to at least apologize this this time, so he put the object inside a small box so it wouldn't break and put it in his backpack.

On his way to school he started to think about when and how he would give the Wayfinder to Ventus. He couldn't do it during class or at the schoolyard, it would draw too much attention. At the entrance... He grumbled. He would only be able to do it after all classes but there would still be too many people around. Of course he could put the object inside the boy's backpack once he left for break, but he didn't want to do that. He wanted to give it to him!

As soon as Aqua entered the classroom she gave him a caring smile. Vanitas blushed and lowered his head. She surely knew what had happened by now. If Terra had told her how much he cried she was probably thinking of him as a child right now.

"Did everyone do the homework?" She asked, starting her lesson and filling up the blackboard with the answers to the questions she gave them. Vanitas didn't pay attention to that and instead took a quick glance at Ventus. He didn't look depressed like before but he looked... Angry. It was then that the raven realized Roxas hadn't come that day. Did something happen?

The morning came to an end and Vanitas still hadn't given his Wayfinder to the boy, so all he could do now was to go after him before leaving... But that turned out to be a problem because the blonde left the moment the bell rang. As if that wasn't enough, Braig called for Vanitas the moment he stood up.

"You there! I want to talk to you!"

He knew that teacher very well; he was probably gonna get busted for not doing anything during his class again. He wouldn't really care about that if he wasn't in a hurry, so he decided to merely agree with everything Braig said to end the conversation as soon as possible... And that still took him ten minutes. Once he finally managed to leave school, Ventus was nowhere to be found. Determined to find him, Vanitas walked as fast as he could and followed the path to the twins' house.

* * *

Ven wanted to arrive earlier at home; he had an assignment for tomorrow which he hadn't even started yet! The blonde walked fast, his stomach rumbling with hunger. He could almost smell his mother's food...

Then he heard footsteps behind him. Not that it was uncommon to see someone on his way back home but that specific place was always quiet; many people avoided it because of the scary dark alley down the street.

He didn't even think about the alley though, only about how the footsteps seemed to be in a hurry too. Ven took a quick glance back, surprised to see Max and his friends there. Trying to ignore them, he continued his path but only seconds later they had already reached him.

The three stood side by side with him. Ventus tightened his grip around his backpack strap, tense.

"What's up!" One of them greeted him, smiling "You brother couldn't come today?"

Ventus glared at him "Why?"

"It's very unusual to see you walking home by yourself" Replied Max "We've been watching... And we all agreed that it's not a good idea to let you go all alone like this"

"I can take care of myself, thank you!" Replied the blonde before hurrying up but he didn't make it far. Max put a hand over his shoulder, keeping him close.

"Kid... I said it's not a good idea to let you go alone. So you'll let us walk with you and take you home in safety."

"Let go of me!" Exclaimed Ventus as he pushed the older teen away, which only made him even more insistent and nervous.

Max grabbed him by his shirt, pushing him against the wall "You really don't wanna go around giving me orders, blondie!" He looked around the street and, when his colleagues guaranteed it was empty, pulled Ventus and forced him into the alley. The boy stumbled, turning to them scared.

"What do you want?!" He asked, wondering if he should run. He didn't want to get into a fight, he was outnumbered and was the youngest of them all!

"It's nothing personal. Not with you, I mean" Said Max, cracking his knuckles.

Ventus eyes went wide and he ran to the other side as fast as he could. He heard the three other boys running after him and didn't dare looking back, but soon felt a tremendous force against his back when one of them jumped against him and knocked him down. He hit his chin and groaned in pain, trying to get up but the tallest of the boys pulled him by his arm and prevented him from running, taking his backpack and throwing it on the ground. Ventus tried to hit him somehow but lost his balance when he was punched on the face, stuttered back and fell.

He didn't understand why that had started so suddenly, but he knew he had to leave as fast as possible or he could get really hurt. The three laughed at him while he looked around and tried to find a way to escape.

"Pete, he's all yours" Said Max, crossing hims arms and letting his friend make Ventus stand up by force. The blonde wasn't strong enough and as much as he tried he couldn't free himself of his grasp. He felt himself being pushed against the wall again.

"Let me go, you asshole! Let me-" Ventus gasped when he was punched on the stomach, bending forward. Pete wanted to make sure he would shut up before someone could listen... But someone already had.

"Ven?!"

Max turned around, smiling "Ahhh, look who's here!"

"Vani-!" Ventus lost his breath once he has hit again and that was more than enough. Vanitas left his backpack on the floor and ran to Pete, so fast and with so much hatred that he avoided the other two without even knowing how. He threw himself against the older boy and punched him to the floor, hitting him continuously.

"Ventus, get awa-" The raven was thrown to the side, falling and receiving a punch directly on his right eye. Ven tried to pull Pete away from him but was easily stopped by Max while Julius joined in the attacks against Vanitas. Max dragged the blonde away and held his hands behind his back, watching as the other two kept on beating and kicking Vanitas, who tried to stand up while protecting himself with his arms to no avail.

"Just look at you. You're so pathetic, _Vani_!" Mocked Max while holding Ventus with force. Vanitas managed to hit one of them but was kicked so hard on his back that he squirmed and closed his eyes in pain.

"Let him go! Leave him alone!" Exclaimed the blonde and threw his head backwards, hitting Max on the nose and feeling the grip around his hands loosen. Ventus then kicked him on his knees before running to the other two, doing all he could to get them away from Vanitas.

"Get out of here, kid!" Julius exclaimed already getting up but Vanitas held him by his legs with as much strength as he could muster. He couldn't let them hurt Ventus and they were really capable of doing it!

Pete also got up and ran after Ventus but Vanitas put his leg in front of him making him fall. Ven jumped over him, throwing himself against Julius to knock him down, but he had not strength for that and was hit on nape of his neck. He fell on his knees moaning in pain and Vanitas, now free, stood up as fast as he could and kicked the other boy on his back before bending over next to his friend.

"Ven, are you okay?!" Was all he managed to say before the two attacked him again, each holding him by one arm and forcing him to stay up while pulling him away from Ventus. He tried to free himself but that only made them tighten the grip around his arms. Max then approached Ventus, who was still dizzy, and kicked him, stepping on his back so he wouldn't be able to get up.

"What are you going to do now, Vani?"

"Let him go, Max!" Exclaimed Vanitas, nervous.

"Why should I? What can you do now? You are so full of yourself... But are always with a tail between your legs when you get beaten at home. Stop lying to yourself, Vanitas, you know you're not capable of doing anything for anyone!"

Vanitas swallowed, not taking his eyes off the boy he so much hated and Ventus, while unable to move, paid attention to what Max said.

"If you stay down, there's no need to worry about the blondie. All you have to do... Is do nothing at all" Said Max and smiled to Ventus with malice in his eyes.

Vanitas wouldn't be able to explain what took over him, but on the next instant he freed himself from the two who were holding him, hitting Pete on his chin and kicking Julius between his legs before running against Max.

The two fell over Vanitas' backpack, hitting each other. Ventus was still getting up when the other two pulled Vanitas away from their friend and threw him on the ground. He fell powerless this time, grumbling in pain and covering his hand with both hands as he waited for the imminent attacks.

Before they could hurt him any longer, however, Ventus ran to him and put his arms around the raven, holding him tightly and standing between him and their aggressors. If he couldn't fight them, he would do whatever he could to make sure Vanitas didn't get hurt anymore!

Max's nose was bleeding but he smiled in delight. The raven had fared worse anyway, just as he knew he would. He looked to Julius, who was about to hit the blonde, and told him to stop.

"Stop it, Julius! That's enough for today."

Vanitas was panting, his eyes closed tightly. When he felt Ventus hold him however he opened them only to see the three boys turning their backs to them and leaving through the same path from where they came. Ventus turned around to look, only letting go of his friend when they disappeared down the street.

The older teen tried to stand up but fell due to dizziness. His right eye was already swollen and there was blood on his teeth and flowing from his right temple. Ventus stood by him, worried.

"W-Wait for a second! Don't move!" Exclaimed the blonde. He had never gotten into a fight before and now that he realized what had happened he felt more and more tense. The boy looked to both sides of the alley, worried about them coming back but he didn't have much time to think about it.

"Ventus, did they hurt you?" Vanitas asked, holding him by his arms. Ventus blinked a few times with no reaction.

"N... N-No, I... Why are you asking about me?! Look at you!"

Indeed, Vanitas didn't look very well. His entire body ached due to the continuous kicks and there were already a few bruises on his face. Ven had a small cut on his mouth and his neck hurt but he was perfectly fine compared to Vanitas!

The two said nothing for a few seconds. Ventus stopped to think about why they had been attacked like that; they didn't give them motives, did them? At least he didn't. And what was Vanitas doing there? Why had he come down that wa-

"I'm sorry" The raven said suddenly, staring to the floor. Ventus turned to him "Ventus, I'm sorry. I... I was an idiot. I said things that aren't true!"

Ven widened his eyes, listening to him almost breathless.

"It was never because... Because of that damn bet, I didn't even remember that!" He exclaimed angry with himself while speaking "Ven, what I said that day, that wasn't me. I would never say such horrible things to a friend, even less for you!"

"Vani..."

"Look, you..." Vanitas breathed deeply, now looking to the blonde who listened with attention "You are important to me, okay? Even more than you might thing! And... And I'm sorry I did that to you"

Ventus didn't know what to do at that moment. Vanitas now stared at him and breathed fast. He was tense, he was nervous and he wished he hadn't said anything but now he had already started.

"I'm sorry I hurt you so much. I just want you to know that... You're especial, Ven, nothing will ever change that. Even if-"

He was interrupted when Ventus pulled him closer, hugging him tightly and laying his head over his shoulder. Vanitas froze in surprise, not expecting that.

"Just..." Ven started. His voice trembled and he teared up but this time it wasn't with sadness. He tightened his hug "Don't do that again, 'kay?"

Vanitas still remained motionless for a few seconds before reacting and hugging the boy back. It was enough for them to forget what had just happened and they stood like that for a few minutes, calming down as they breathed in and out together. Vanitas couldn't believe this was happening and truly thought that Ventus would let go of him and leave him alone but he didn't. Instead, he giggled and caressed Vanitas head with joy before pulling away and smiling to him. After so long, Vanitas smiled too.

"We... Ahn, we should be going now!" Ventus started, his cheeks blushing "You're hurt, we need to clean up this blood!"

"This is nothing, Ven. You shouldn't worry too much"

"Yeah, well, complain as much as you want! You're coming home with me and I'll only let you leave when you're feeling better!"

Vanitas stared at him, surprised by the way he spoke. He was determined to do that and, well, who was he to deny it? Going to his house after what he did wasn't exactly the first thing he wanted to do but there was no way out this time. He sighed but smiled, only to groan again as a sharp pain shot down his back. Ventus picked him up before he fell and waited for him to catch his breath.

"Your... Your back-"

"I'm fine. They just... Hit it too many times"

"... Kay. I'll help you then"

"Heh... Can you hold me?"

"Of course I can!"

Ventus picked both their backpacks and Vanitas leaned on him so he could walk until the pain subsided. The street was still silent but it didn't matter anymore. Ventus was glad he could help Vanitas somehow. Vanitas was happy Ventus was there with him.

When they arrived Ventus knocked on the door and waited for his mother to open it anxiously. It didn't take long for them to be answered.

"Hello sweet- Oh my God!"

"I'll explain later, mom!" He replied, excusing himself and going to the bathroom while holding Vanitas close. The raven felt embarrassed for entering that way but didn't manage to say anything about it and, when he saw it, they were already in front of the sink.

"V... Ventus, what happened? Do you need help?" His mother asked worried.

"No mom, we're fine. Vani, sit on the toilet"

"Ven-"

"Sit on the toilet!" Replied the blonde, bending down a little to take a good look on the cut over Vanitas' temple. It had already stopped bleeding so he washed his hands, wetting a small hand towel and cleaning the blood. Then he rubbed the area with soap and once again ran the hand towel over it carefully.

"I... Could get some ice for you to put on your eye" Suggested the young boy, crossing his arms. Vanitas had said nothing all this time, just watching while Ventus helped. He felt strangely calm right now, even after all that beating.

"There's no need for that. Here" Vanitas stood up with a little bit of difficulty, picking the hand towel that Ven was using and wetting the other side of it. Ventus had ignored the cut over his own mouth but Vanitas could at least clean it for him as well "Look at me"

The blonde did as he was told. Vanitas looked at him with calm and gently lifted his chin a little bit to look straight to it. There was silence while he cleaned the spot, feeling how soft Ventus' skin was. The boy stared at him with slightly blushed cheeks, showing that innocence that Vanitas liked so much and had gotten so attached to. He didn't take long before finishing and lowered the hand that held the towel.

Now a little afraid, Vanitas put a hand over his face and caressed him while slowly approaching. The blonde widened his eyes and his heart started racing at once, but when he felt Vanitas' delicate touch he let himself relax and closed his eyes like him. For an instant, he could almost feel Vanitas warm breath over his lips-

"He did what?! Who?!"

\- but Roxas' sudden scream from outside the bathroom alarmed them and Vanitas pulled away, sighing. Ventus lowered his head slightly but there was no discomfort between them and they merely blushed, smiling to one another before agreeing they should leave.

Ventus left first, seeing his hot-tempered brother next to their mother.

"Ven-"

"Calm down, Rox! You don't even know what happened!" He exclaimed and Vanitas came right after him, stopping next to the younger boy and looking to Roxas.

"You- What is he doing here, Ven?! Why are you hurt?"

"It's not his fault! Vani helped me and ended up hurt because of it!"

"Helped you how, Ventus?" Asked his mother, worried with his well-being above everything else "What happened?"

"It was Max and his friends, Rox!" Ventus said "They... They forced me into the alley and threatened me"

"My God!" Exclaimed the woman now even more worried, but Ventus tried to calm her down.

"But it's alright now, mom! Vanitas helped me, he protected me from them! I brought him here to help with his wounds! And... And everything's alright now" Replied the boy, trying to say that things were alright between them as well. When silence took over, Vanitas finally spoke.

"I'm sorry for the way I treated your son before. And I'm sorry for Max and his friends; we don't get along and they went after Ventus to reach me"

"Oh sweetheart" She smiled to him "You protected my little one. I'll be forever grateful for that!"

Vanitas looked to Ventus who gave him a smile from ear to ear. God, he had missed that smile so much...

"But who are those boys? Are they from your school?" Continued the twins' mother "We have to tell that to your father and talk to the school's Principal!"

"Of course we will!" Agreed Roxas, a little confused. He didn't really like Vanitas being there, but he was happy to know his brother was in safety thanks to him. Ventus nodded, turning to Vanitas.

"Can you walk better now?"

"Yes, I'll walk slow. Relax, Ven"

Ventus frowned "Rest a little before you go, you must be in pain!"

"I can rest when I get home. You helped me a lot already, I'm ready to go now"

"You can't go alone! What if they're still there?"

"They won't be, Ven-"

"What if they are?!"

"He's right, Vanitas" It was the boys' mother. Roxas was silent "You shouldn't risk it that way. I can take you home"

Vanitas widened his eyes "N... No need for that, thank you. I mean it, thank you very much but-"

"Yeah, Vani! Please, we'll take you there! We don't have... To leave you at the door if you don't want to"

Ventus looked away and then Vanitas remembered what Max said. Did... Did Ven pay attention to his words? Did he believe in them?

"We can take you straight home, Vanitas, it's not a problem for me" Replied the boy's mother.

"To... To my neighborhood is great" He said, thankful to Ven. The blonde smiled and then turned to Roxas.

"Are you coming with us, Rox?"

"No, Ven, I'll... I'll stay. But Vanitas-" He stared to the raven deep into his eyes, speaking with sincerity "Thank you for protecting my brother"

Vanitas nodded and soon the three were on their way. When they left the house Vanitas mumbled something and opened his backpack, sighing irritated.

"What happened?" Asked Ventus. Vanitas took the box out of it and opened it; his Wayfinder with the shape of a red Paopu was there, almost completely broken. He sighed depressed as he let Ventus see it.

"Damn it. I wanted to give it to you... But looks like things didn't go as I planned"

Ventus held the object in his own hands. He remembered how perfect it looked the day it was made and felt sad seeing it like this, but...

"Give it... To me?" Asked the blonde. After looking at it for a few seconds, he continued "I don't even know what to say"

"That it's broken, maybe" Laughed the older teen, sad that it didn't look like what he wanted but Ventus didn't seem to mind. The blonde gave him a tight hug and smiled.

"It's okay! We'll fix it together!" Ventus said and, not thinking too much before doing it, held Vanitas' hand and walked to the car with him.


	26. Chapter 26

Vanitas woke up with his back hurting. He did expect his body to get sore but only then realized how strong the kicks had been! The teen sat straight on his bed with discomfort and looked around; his backpack lay on the ground carelessly and his clothes were tossed over the chair. He really needed to clean his room before that mess got out of control...

He put the water for his coffee to boil punctually at 5:45 AM like every day of the week and went to the bathroom, taking his school uniform with him. Before turning the shower on he stared to his reflection on the mirror and laughed at himself; it had been some time since his eye got swollen like that. The boy took his clothes off, unable to ignore the long scar over his chest, and took his bath.

Xehanort was snoring loudly from his bedroom to Vanitas' contentment. It was 6 AM when he got himself a cup of coffee and left the house, sitting by the sidewalk to drink it and smoke while watching the streets. It was something he did everyday and even though there was never anything new to see it was something he enjoyed doing. Of course, this place was nothing compared to the neighborhood where he used to live in.

Things were pretty different back then in Traverse Town. He spent the first six years of his life there, three of them with his two parents... Or what some may call a family. His life had never been too interesting. Any fond memory of his childhood was swallowed up by nightmares and fear, but if there was something he remembered it was how he enjoyed the sight of the streets during its long nights. There were always many people in town, so many children and adults sharing moments with each other. The lights were warm and the restaurant next to his house was always playing a soothing music fitting to the atmosphere of the city, and so every night he would go to the yard and, along with his Flood plushie, watched the stars while listening to it. It was the only memory he held close to his heart, the only one that made him feel well about himself.

But that was it. No good memories of times spent with his mother neither his father. Only memories of those who left him behind and of things he wanted to forget but didn't.

In Twilight Town however there were absolutely no good memories to be had, even less in his neighborhood. It was a violent and cold place and anyone who could stay away would be better off doing it. Maybe that was the reason Vanitas felt so tense when Ventus' mother brought him there the day before.

While giving her directions he couldn't stop thinking about when he should tell her to stop before they could see his house. He didn't want Ventus, innocent as he was, to suddenly walk in there one day and end up being interrogated by someone he didn't know.

"Tomorrow I'll go talk to your principal!" Said the boy's mother while driving "And I'm taking both you and your brother by car! I'm afraid those boys might want to pick a fight with you again!"

Ventus had said nothing until now, silently watching the streets and looking to Vanitas once in a while. He felt guilty for letting him get hurt even if the older teen didn't really seem troubled with that. Ventus wanted to believe he was calm like this due to getting involved in other fights before but he still couldn't take Max' words out of his mind.

What he said about Vanitas being beaten at home... Was it a bluff? It might be since the two of them didn't really get along, but he couldn't ignore the fact that Vanitas never said anything about his father or about his life at all. Also, he had looked rather worried when Ventus proposed going to his house to study and there was still that one thing that happened and made him behave aggressively.

Ven shook his head. Xehanort might be hard on him, but to the point of a actually hurting him? Vanitas wouldn't hide something as horrible as that; he was his father! He wouldn't do such a thing!

Or would he?

"Here is great!" The raven said suddenly. They were pretty close now, he could walk the rest of the way.

"Are you sure you don't want me to take you there?" Ven's mother asked for the last time.

"No, it's alright. I'll get there in a jiffy. Thank you very much!" He opened the car's door to leave but Ventus called him before he did.

"Vani! Thank you... For helping me!" The blonde smiled, happily holding his Wayfinder with utmost care not to break it further. Vanitas smiled back.

"No. Thank you" He emphasized and then got out of the car, putting on his backpack and resuming his walk back home.

As he knew he would, the moment he set foot inside his father stared at him in disgust but for the first time in a while Vanitas didn't mind. It hadn't been any kind of fight, he hadn't got into it simply for having nothing to do. He had had a reason and for that reason he would fight again!

That was also why the next day started so well. Despite his physical pain Vanitas felt calm and relaxed. He didn't know what would happen from now on, but he had managed to talk to Ventus and see him smiling again. To see Ventus happy... That was enough for him.

He made his way to school without thinking too much. He walked straight into the classroom, sitting down and laying his head over the desk but not long after that a well known voice called for him.

"Good morning, Vani!"

Vanitas widened his eyes a little bit, lifting his head only to see Ventus waving to him from the door. He was radiant and his light blue eyes were shining once again. The raven smiled softly; he didn't expect to see him so overjoyed but felt happy for him. A smile definitely suited him better than a sad face.

"Hey" He waved back. Roxas came right after his brother and greeted the older teen with a nod of his head before going to his desk as Ventus approached him.

"How are you? What about your back" The blonde asked.

"It's... Fine. It doesn't even hurt anymore" Vanitas lied "Are you alright?"

"Yeah!" The boy put his backpack over his chair "My mom brought us today, she's waiting at the principal's office to talk to Yen Sid!"

"I suppose you're here to call me then?"

"Yup. I thought you'd be outside so when I didn't see you I imagined you'd be here"

"Well, you weren't wrong" The raven stood up, running his hand through his hair "Take the lead"

The two left the classroom before Larxene arrived and the other students watched them leave in confusion; they didn't know what had happened yesterday but it had been a while since they saw Ventus looking so cheerful and being so... Ventus. The blonde didn't mind but Vanitas, on the other hand, felt troubled by the way they stared at him.

He was greeted by Ventus' mother when they reached the school board and greeted her back. The three waited for a few minutes before not only Yen Sid but also Eraqus called for them. The vice-principal looked first to Vanitas, clearly wondering what he had done this time, then to Ventus and his mother. They went to the principal's room and the teenagers sat down before his table while Eraqus and the woman stood up.

"Now... Can you explain us what happened?" Yen Sid began with calm and attention.

Ventus turned to Vanitas and he nodded, letting him speak "Yesterday as I went home those three 11th graders followed me and threatened me. They've been watching my brother and I for some time now and I didn't think they would go this far but they tried to hurt me and hurt Vani too!"

"Three 11th graders? Can you identify them?" Asked Eraqus.

"Yes, sir! They were-" Vanitas took the lead.

"Max, Julius and Pete. They went after Ventus and pushed him into an alley on his way home"

"And how exactly did _you_ get involved?" Asked the vice-principal, raising an eyebrow at Vanitas. The boy frowned; he was sure that Eraqus didn't like him, which wouldn't be much of a surprise after how much trouble he got himself into, but still...

"He protected me!" Ventus replied exasperated. He didn't want there to be any doubt about it! Vanitas had done nothing wrong, he was trying to help and it was best that everyone knew it "He tried to take me out of there, but we couldn't and... A-And they beat him and hurt him!"

Vanitas took a glance at him, seeing somewhat of guilt in how the boy spoke. He'd talk to him about that later.

"I am aware that the fight didn't happen inside the school" Ventus' mother said, interrupting them "But they are your students! I want measures to be taken about this and that the responsible for these boys know exactly what happened!"

"I'll certainly contact their parents once we've talked in more depth about this with you. But..." Yen Sid looked to the boys "Are you sure about their names? It's going to be a problem if you end up blaming the wrong people"

"Of course we are sure, we were there!" Vanitas exclaimed and Ventus agreed with him, repeating their aggressors' names once again.

"We shall speak to them as well" Eraqus said serious "You two must understand that it would be unfair if only you had the right to defend yourselves"

"Yes sir" Ventus sighed disappointed. Vanitas crossed his arms angry.

"They'll deny it all of course. And that's three against two, who are you gonna believe in?" He questioned. It wasn't the first time something like that happened but this time Ventus was involved as well and he couldn't ignore that.

"If you're so sure that we'll accept their words as the truth then you should show yourself to be trustworthy, young man" Eraqus retorted and glared at Vanitas. He was going to reply but Ventus put a hand over his arm and spoke instead.

"Vice-principal, I was there! It is unfair of you to doubt Vanitas when we're seeking for your help!"

Yen Sid stood by the boy and reprimanded his colleague before breathing deeply and continuing "Ventus is right, Eraqus. All of our students have the same rights in this school and it's up to us to guarantee this. For that reason, I will talk to those boys and their parents and then I'll contact you once again as soon as possible"

Ven agreed and turned to the raven. He was still glaring at Eraqus and Eraqus at him, which would've been funny if it wasn't the situation they were in.

"You two may go back to your classroom now. I'll talk to your mother privately, Ventus"

"Yes sir" He stood up "Let's go, Vani!"

Vanitas sighed irritated, also standing up and going after the boy. He mumbled something along the way but Ven didn't say anything; it would be better not to encourage him to get into more trouble.

Once the break started Roxas and the others went to their usual spot again. Ventus considered going there but Vanitas looked even more reluctant than usual (Probably due to how everyone was staring at him) and so the blonde decided to stay with the boy.

"You want a candy?" Ventus asked but he refused. Still, he bought two Lucky Luckys before they went to get their meals. Once both got their food (Today's meal was rice with potatoes and tomatoes) they chose a table and sat down.

"Are you sure you want to stay here?" Vanitas asked hesitantly.

"Yeah. Unless... You want to leave of course, I'll understa-"

"No! It's just... Your friends and your brother are there. You shouldn't keep them waiting"

"I'm staying with you today. It's been a while since we got to spend some time together like this, you know!"

"Tch... Indeed"

As happy as Vanitas was for having Ventus back, he felt terrible for everything that happened until now, mostly because the boy was acting as if they had never stopped talking in the first place. It was one thing to forgive him, but to treat him well like this? What would his friends think of him? He shouldn't be this kind to someone who mistreated him. He-

"Vani, can I ask you something?"

Vanitas felt his stomach turn, forgetting all of his thoughts for a moment. Without letting his nervousness show, he mumbled a _Yeah_ as he ate his food.

"What exactly... Happened in your first year here?"

"Are you talking about Max?"

"Well..."

Vanitas swallowed another spoonful of rice "What did he tell you?"

The boy thought about it. The only time Max ever said something had been days ago inside the bathroom, but Ventus was really nervous that day. Had he even heard it right?

"He said you beat up a kid so much that you broke his teeth... And he left the school afterwards"

Vanitas stopped chewing for a few seconds, just like the younger students sitting around them as they stared at him in shock "Oh. So he didn't lie to you after all"

"Is that the reason why Max and his friends won't leave you alone?"

"Maybe"

Ventus looked away. He wouldn't force him to say anything but couldn't deny he wanted to know more. Everything seemed a little bit off; from the argument they had to the fight with Max, things just didn't look right. If only Vanitas opened up to him...

"We used to hang out together"

Ventus turned his attention to him, surprised. Was he really going to tell him something?

"We were neighbors. Max lived with his parents and his younger brother Tobias. It was he who I befriended first" He took a potato from his plate "We used to... Spend our afternoons smoking and talking about stupid stuff"

"Was that when you started to smoke?"

"No. I was 13 when they moved in. I started when I was 11"

"Oh" It was hard to ignore how coldly Vanitas spoke about himself. For Ventus, it was hard to imagine why someone would start to smoke so early.

"I met Max and his friend as well. We all became... Colleagues, whatever. I'm not proud of the things I did back then, but you saw me at the beginning of this year so you know what I'm talking about"

"... You mean being a bully? You all spent your time hurting other people?"

Disappointment flowed through Ventus' words and Vanitas couldn't blame him. He felt pretty disappointed himself.

"I never hurt anyone physically but words hurt more than punches or kicks, so yeah. Like I said, I'm not proud of it now but it was done and can't deny it"

"But why? Did you just... Do what they told you to? I just can't see why someone would go around mistreating others!"

Vanitas sighed "Thinking about it... I don't get it either. But I guess I just wanted to feel like I-"

And he stopped. There was reason to say it, no reason to let Ventus know anything past that. He wanted to know about Max and Tobias; he would stick to that.

"Do you still feel that way? Do you still feel the need to... To..."

Vanitas interrupted him "No... Not once since I've met you"

Ventus blushed and looked down, unsure of what that meant. Indeed, right at the start of the year Vanitas was kind of a asshole to others and Ventus disliked him for that reason, even more when he was mean to Ienzo. So why-

"I started this year without a reason to continue. I guess meeting you and seeing things through your eyes made me... Reconsider some things"

The blonde blushed even more. They were off the subject now but he didn't really care; he was glad they were having this conversation. Although he did wonder what Vanitas meant with 'no reason to continue'.

He sounded so sad when he said it...

"Anyway..." Vanitas put his plate away "They found out about some crap I did and they've been harassing me ever since. But Tobias, he... He was the one to actually start it all. I realized I should've never got close to him but it was late by then. We had many arguments and he threatened me many times until I couldn't take it anymore. And then it happened"

Ventus looked at him thoughtfully. Vanitas seemed to be a magnet for trouble "And what happened after that?

"I was suspended for a month... And Tobias' mother was so scared that she took him out of the school. They moved to another town not much after that. I think Max hates me because it's my fault that he was separated from his brother. I can't blame him, but I didn't mean for it to end like that. It wasn't something I actually wanted to do, you know"

Ventus smiled softly "Yeah, I know. You wouldn't do something simply by cruelty, Vani"

Vanitas wasn't so sure of that but in that occasion he really hadn't so he agreed with the boy. When the two finished eating Ven took his chocolate out of his pocket, giving one to Vanitas and keeping one for himself. It felt so weird being this close to the raven now. He admitted being a bully before, admitted hurting someone and Ventus himself knew how cruel he could be when anger got the best out of him... And yet he wasn't afraid. He felt at ease, relaxed now that the older boy had talked to him about it. It was strange but it felt good having him around so Ventus let that strangeness go and just enjoyed the moment.

They were both starting to relax when they saw Max and Julius a few meters away staring at them; had they been called by Yen Sid yet?

Vanitas stared back, nervous just by remembering what they had done, but Ventus lowered his head. He didn't like what happened, he didn't like how impotent he felt and even less getting involved in a fight like that. He felt upset seeing them there and wondered if he would be able to look them in the eye after what they did.

"Are you scared?"

It was Vanitas who asked, now looking to him. Ventus said nothing, making it clear that he was. If he had not showed up right on time Ventus wasn't sure of what would've happened and he was thinking about that when Vanitas put an arm around his shoulder and brought him closer while staring to the boys from afar.

"Don't show your fear. They'll take advantage of this to bother you again!" Ven nodded a little bit ashamed and then also looked to them "They are cowards, people who do what they do simply for being stronger, but they're pathetic. You don't need to be afraid of them"

"Vani..." Ventus looked to the raven and felt him bring him even closer.

"I won't let them hurt you again."

They shared glances for a few seconds before Ventus smiled with blushing cheeks and Vanitas smiled back, letting him go. The blonde didn't admit that he still feared what they might do in the future, but right now having Vanitas by his side was enough to make him feel safe.

* * *

Throughout the next days Ventus didn't spend much time with his friends. Instead, he dedicated his time to the raven only. He had missed spending time with him and really wanted them to join the others as soon as possible but Vanitas was still hesitant. More than once however he told Ventus to go with his brother so they wouldn't be mad at him and sometimes he did go but then quickly returned. It wasn't that Vanitas didn't enjoy being with him - he loved it! - but he still felt bad for what he did.

He felt anxious. What if Ventus was doing that on purpose? Maybe he wanted him to think everything was alright only to leave him again. Vanitas shouldn't think of him like that, he knew it was wrong, but the thoughts simply invaded his mind with no previous warning. He was used to having no one but to stay away from Ventus for a while was so hard that he really didn't want that to happen again.

"Why?" He asked a few days later. It was Friday again and the two of them were sitting at the sports court watching their colleagues play volleyball without participating themselves.

"Hm?" Ventus turned to him without understanding.

"Why do you... Act like this?"

"What are you talking about, Vani?"

"You know what I'm talking about, Ventus" Vanitas replied, tense "It is as if nothing happened at all. How... Can you?"

Ventus frowned. It took him a few moments to fully understand to what Vanitas was referring to, but he wondered why exactly he asked that.

"Well... I didn't forget what happened. And when I stop to think about it I feel... Sad. But you apologized, didn't you? And we talked about it, we're fine. I wouldn't have forgiven you if I weren't ready to leave it all behind"

"Ven..." Vanitas was speechless; he spoke with so much clarity and calm that that it actually sounded easy when he said it.

"It's normal for... For friends to argue sometimes. But we can settle our differences and that's why we're friends, right?"

Vanitas smiled shyly "Yeah... I guess you're right"

"Besides..." Ventus lowered his gaze, closing his hands together "If I... If I ever hurt you somehow, I hope you'll be able to forgive me too. So if we both want to be friends then we'll both fight for it, right? That's... What I think"

Vanitas stared at him in confusion and Ventus turned his gaze away "You... Hurt me? That sounds pretty unlikely, Ven"

"Does it?" Ventus looked sad. Why that all of sudden?

"What do you mean?"

The blonde hesitated before speaking, staring down to his own hands "Well, it's just... I'm really clingy. I enjoy being close to people I like and expressing my feelings. And well... Not everyone likes people like me. So I'm always trying to, you know, avoid talking too much or showing to much or..."

Vanitas raised an eyebrow; Ventus was always so outgoing with everyone...

"I didn't know you feel that way"

"All the time. I'm always afraid that I'll end up annoying someone because of this. And I know some people don't mean it when they're harsh, but..."

The older boy crossed his arms "But that's who you are, Ventus. You shouldn't change because of someone else"

"I know" He smiled "I guess sometimes I think too much..."

"Maybe. But listen, you shouldn't be ashamed or worried about that. At least not when you're with me" Ventus looked at him "I want you to be true to yourself as you have always been. It's... One of the things that I like the most about you"

The blonde smiled even more. He didn't have an answer to that so they remained quiet for a few seconds before he sat closer to Vanitas.

"Vani... I don't know what exactly happened with you that day. But I want... I want you to be true with me too. And I want that if you ever need something, anything... Don't forget you can count on me, okay?"

With that Ventus then rested his head against Vanitas' arm, watching as his brother and Sora celebrated their victory while hiding his blushing cheeks. Vanitas said nothing more but he didn't really have to and, not paying attention to anything else, spent the rest of the lesson caressing Ventus' blonde hair.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** Hey there everyone! Once again, sorry for taking long to update the fic. I've been working overtime lately and the projects are killing me aaaaa But I hope it was worth the wait!

This will be this year's last update. Christmas is around the corner and I won't be able to translate another chapter until the end of the year (Because it's pretty long and it takes me a few hours to do so). Updates will resume in January though and I hope you're ready for a lot of fluff, angst and, well, lots of love for our boys 3 (Also some more angst).

Thank you for all your comments until now! It always makes my day when you tell me how you feel about the chapters and this feeling is what moves me forward to keep writing it! Until we meet again, I wish you a very sweet Christmas and also a happy new Year :D Hugs for you all!


	27. Chapter 27

"So… How are things between you two?"

After their physical education class Ventus asked Ienzo to help him with a chemistry exercise and since he had nothing else to do in the school yard he did it on their break. As soon as he asked the question, however, Ventus turned his gaze away from his notebook to his friend who had already let go of the pencil to listen.

"Well… Good. We're good. Vanitas has been pretty different lately"

"Yeah, we noticed. He looks like a completely different person when he's with you"

"I know, right? We have talked a lot... I still don't know what happened, but he's been opening himself up to me little by little. There's still a lot of things I don't know about him, of course, but I'm glad we're talking to each other again"

The blonde laughed, staring down to the formula written on his paper sheet not really seeing it as his mind was focused on something else.

"And how do you feel about him?"

"What do you mean?"

"Come on, Ven, you know what I mean"

Ienzo chuckled and Ventus went beet red. As embarrassed as he felt however, Ventus didn't fear talking about that with his friend - Something that would be harder to do with his brother, for example.

"I… Hmm… I feel happy when I'm with him. He makes me feel good even when he doesn't talk much, you know. Okay, he is more talkative lately, but you know what I mean… Like, I don't know, I just… I really like him"

Ienzo put his arms behind his head just like his friend always did "Of course you do. I just wanted to make sure"

"Is it that obvious?"

"Yes. To me, at least. And to Xion too. Sora and Riku agree and…Well, I'm sure everyone who saw you together today at the sports court feels the same, so..."

"Oh" Ventus laughed nervously "Sora and Riku… Did they say anything to you?"

"They just want everyone to stay together during our breaks again. We miss you both, you know"

"I see..." He noted the use of the word _both_ "He didn't treat you well either though. Are you mad at him?"

"Nah, that's was stupid. It's been what, fours months? I didn't even remember it anymore"

Ventus nodded. Well, at least his friends would apparently be fine if Vanitas decided to join them again. Still...

"I wish I could help him more..."

Ienzo crossed his arms "You already do. Anyone who can see you two knows this"

"You think?"

"Well… If the way he looks at you means anything, I'm sure of it"

The blonde boy smiled and turned his attention back to his notebook but the bell rang and they had to stop studying (Or chatting in any case). Once their colleagues returned to the classroom he naturally looked to them and then widened his eyes seeing Vanitas talking to Xion (With his cheeks slightly red!). The raven walked to his desk without saying a word but Ventus noted when the girl sat close to Ienzo and gave him a thumbs up.

What were them up to?

Marluxia came right after the students, but instead of starting his lesson right away he turned to them first.

"Good morning! As you well know, you are going to Disney Town in five weeks. Yen Sid asked me to check if someone else decided to go. I must remind you that you have until next friday to pay and I'll be the one to take the money to the principal"

The atmosphere in the classroom changed distinctly after the mention to the trip. Everyone who was going shared glances eagerly, some of them remembering they had yet to tell their parents about it while others were just waiting for the day to arrive. Ventus and Roxas let out a silent _yay_ and Vanitas.…

Vanitas smiled softly and laid his head on the desk, not taking his eyes off the teacher.

A few weeks ago he would have celebrated along with everyone else, but after what happened at home reality hit him hard: Without money there was no way for him to go. He sighed and opened his notebook unwillingly, focusing on the lesson and trying to forget about that.

After classes Ventus, Roxas and Vanitas went to the twins' house. They weren't sure about what happened to Max and his friends, but not having them walking around on the streets was enough for now. When they arrived Vanitas barely had time to say goodbye before Ventus walked up to him.

"Vani, don't go just yet! There's… There's something I want to show you. Why don't you come inside?"

"Ahn..."

"I'll be quick, I promise!"

Vanitas sighed; how could he say no to him?

As soon as they got in they were greeted by the twins' mother, a delicious smell of pasta with sausages coming from the kitchen.

"Hello, my darlings! Good afternoon, Vanitas!" He greeted her whil the blondes received huggles and kisses from their mom "How was your morning?"

"The last day of the week is always great!" Roxas replied, stretching and going into the bathroom.

"How was yours, mom?" Ventus asked.

"Oh, it was fine. Nothing new, really. Vanitas, come here!"

"Y-Yes, ma'am" The raven approached her only to realized she wanted to greet him like she did with her sons, awkward as she hugged him. Ventus laughed softly; to receive love seemed to be so foreign to him...

The two boys then went up to the bedroom (Ventus was just as tense as he was anxious!) and put his backpack in his closet before turning to his friend "Close your eyes!"

"What?"

"Trust me, Vani!"

Vanitas rolled his eyes but did as he was told. He heard the boy open one of the drawers, pick something up and close it. Then he felt his approach.

"You can open them now!"

Ventus was standing before him, one of his hands hidden behind his back and the other holding a well known object in front of his eyes: It was the red Wayfinder he gave to him, only it was no longer broken!

"You fixed it!" Vanitas exclaimed.

"Uhum! I couldn't let something that you made with so much care stay like that because of Max!" Ventus replied, lowering his hand and showing what he was holding in the other "And… This one is for you!"

Vanitas widened his eyes. Ventus' Wayfinder was faultless just like on the day it was made. He held it with care, staring at it carefully until he noted now there were more colors, details in yellow and black outlining its form.

"I thought you were gonna leave it all green" Vanitas commented, looking to the blonde.

"I was but I realized a yellow tone would make it prettier. And it's for you, so I decided to do it like this because… Because… It would fit the color of your eyes" His cheeks burned but he didn't look away and couldn't stop smiling when Vanitas blushed too.

"Or with the color of your hair!" They looked at each other. Both wanted to say something, it was obvious by how they waited in silence, but once they heard someone approaching the boys looked away.

"Mom is asking if you'd like to stay for lunch" It was Roxas.

"No, thank you. I'm on my way out" Vanitas replied, returning the red Wayfinder to Ventus and carefully holding the green and yellow close to his chest "Thank you"

Ventus giggled and with that the two went down the stairs. They were heading for the door when the twins' mother spoke with them.

"Boys, me and your father were thinking of having a barbecue tomorrow. What do you say you invite your friends to spend the day with us? I have yet to meet Xion, you may call her as well!"

"Great idea, mom!" The twins agreed in unisson, their eyes sparkling as their mother continued.

"What do you think, Vanitas? Would you like to spend the afternoon here?"

"We could make a chocolate cake!" Ventus said before he could reply "Do you like chocolate cake?"

"Or carrot cake! With chocolate sauce!" Suggested Roxas; Axel loved carrot cake.

Vanitas ran a hand through his hair, eyebrows lifted and a playful smile on his lips as he watched the siblings merrily discussing on the next day. Their mother laughed.

"It's settled then! Vanitas, we'll be waiting for you!"

Ventus looked to him and Roxas ran to his backpack so he could get his cellphone and call Axel. The raven smiled.

"I'll be here."

* * *

On that same night Roxas and Ventus invited their friends home, arranging for everyone to bring a sweet or savory dish to help. On the next day then right after breakfast the twins cleaned their backyard while their parents went to the supermarket to get everything they needed.

Around midday they got the barbecue grill ready. Ventus and Roxas joyously waited for their their friends and it didn't take too long for them to arrive. It was Ventus who opened the door for the ones who arrived first and couldn't hide his surprise seeing who it was.

"Hi Ven!" Xion waved at him... And Vanitas was with her!

"H... Hi! You came together!" Ventus said lively.

"We were going to come later on but Van wanted to help with lunch. So we brought the sodas and also some ice cream for dessert!"

The girl turned to the older boy who helped her by bringing the sodas. Ventus smiled and helped to bring everything inside before walking with them to the yard where they greeted the others and made themselves comfortable. Sora and Riku arrived right after, followed by Axel who quickly helped the boy's father with the barbecue grill.

"Ien couldn't come today?" Ventus asked once everyone was already there.

"He was going to hang out with his father today. You know how they're inseparable"

"Poor Ien" Sora whispered "Just imagine, getting to live with Even every day!"

For long minutes the teenagers talked about school while drinking soda and waiting for the meat. The youngest of the twins of course spent all his time trying to start a conversation with Vanitas, and while the raven did reply he looked hesitant to say the least. Ventus was going to try it again when he realized his brother wouldn't take his eyes off their father and Axel, both men talking to each other next to the grill.

"Is everything okay, Rox?

"I guess… But they got so serious out of a sudden. And dad won't stop looking at me!"

"... What do you think they're talking about?"

Roxas frowned and turned to his brother "I don't know. But I've never seen Axel like this before"

"Aw, it must be nothing. I mean, they're adults so I'm sure they're just talking about... Adults' stuff, right?"

"Yeah, well... " Roxas crossed his arms "That's what worries me"

Ventus blinked many times in silence before he looked to the men, starting to wonder what Roxas meant by that. They were adults, yeah, but Axel was a great person. He was kind, funny and caring. Besides, he and Roxas liked each other and even if Axel was a lot older than his broth-

Oh!

Ventus chuckled awkwardly and turned his attention to Vanitas once again, only this time he didn't say anything and just thought to himself... They were only two years apart, so liking each other wouldn't be a problem, right? It wasn't like Roxas and Axel couldn't have feelings for each other, of course, but…

The boy stared down to his own feet. Why was he even following that tray of thought? He liked Vanitas but that didn't mean he felt the same for him.

Enough thinking about that though! Ventus focused on making him feel at home, something that he clearly was having a bad time doing probably because Sora and Riku were there and their misunderstanding hadn't been settled. The blonde was going to say something but at that moment his mother stood up.

"Alright. Since your dad will watch over our meat, I'll cook us some rice then!"

"Let me help" Vanitas said and stood up as well, walking after her and leaving the others behind as Riku and Sora understood what was probably going on.

In the kitchen, Vanitas offered to cook the rice for her and she readily gathered all of her spices for him and got herself some tomatoes and lettuce for the salad. She let the boy cook his own way, keeping an eye on him as he did, and tried to strike up a conversation with him.

"Are you the one who cooks at home, Vanitas? You seem really skilled at it"

"Yeah, my father doesn't like to cook" He tried the rice and put a little more of salt and oregano in it.

"So you two live alone?"

"Uhum. My mother left 14 years ago, so it's always been just the two of us. Would you like to try it, ma'am?" He pointed to the pan and gave her the spoon he was using. The woman did it and widened her eyes.

"It's excellent! But there's no need to be so formal with me, Vanitas"

He gave her a shy smile and then did the dishes while the water boiled. The woman continued.

"What about you and Ventus, how are things between you two?"

The young boy blushed, glad she couldn't see his face right now. Xion had asked the exact same question yesterday and he knew he was as red now as he was before.

"... Your son is amazing"

She giggled "It's great to see him like this again. Ven is a special boy. He's always been the happiest of the house, no doubt about it, but since you two made up he's even happier lately! I'm glad you're alright now!"

Vanitas smiled to himself "So am I"

When the food was finished, they went outside and put it all on the table. Minutes later everyone was eating, Axel and the father of the boys bringing them the meat as they did.

"Whoa! Mom, the rice is great!" Exclaimed Roxas.

"Indeed it is. I didn't make it though" Said he woman and Roxas turned to Vanitas, impressed. The blonde cleared his throat.

"Oh, I see… Then, well, it's just fine I guess"

They laughed; that peaceful sensation Vanitas always felt at the twins' started to predominate again and that was just what Sora needed.

"Hey, Vanitas" The boy called, followed by Riku.

"Hm?"

"Well… You know, you two are pretty distant from us lately! You gotta stay with us again, we miss you two!"

Vanitas raised an eyebrow and soon enough everyone was looking at them. Ven swallowed, a little tense.

"Look..." Sora continued in order to break that awkward silence "I'm sorry about that day. I was nervous and I might have been a little harsh. But we're alright now, so-"

"Don't apologize for that" Vanitas said serious. Their friend stared at him and he continued "You did nothing wrong, I did. I was stupid…. And an asshole. I would have done the same thing if I was in your place"

"Vani..." Ventus whispered. Vanitas had apologized to him before, but to hear him say those words out loud for everyone to hear it…

"After what happened I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable with my presence. That's why I'd… Rather stay away"

"There's no need for that anymore" Riku said, nodding his head "Ventus forgave you and so did we"

"Yeah!" Xion joined them in joy "You to better be with us next monday, eh?"

"... Alright. Will do"

Vanitas turned to Ventus and the blonde smiled, a really warm sensation inside his chest, to what his parents reacted with a share of approving glances.

After that the air got even lighter and the teens finally started to talk more. They had just restarted to discuss their trip when Roxas spoke.

"Did you hear? We'll get to choose the teachers that are coming with us! I heard Braig talking about it with Xemnas"

"Really?" Ventus celebrated "Oh, I know who's gonna go!"

"Who?" Axel asked interested.

"Aqua and Terra, of course! Everyone loves Aqua and, well, even though Terra isn't our best teacher, he's great! And I'm sure she wouldn't like to leave him behind, so why not choose him as well?"

Vanitas agreed. He was really grateful to Terra for what the teacher did and, even though he never accepted Aqua's words when he was younger, he liked her and how much effort she put in trying to talk to him.

"Are you coming with us, Axel?" Xion asked excitedly.

"I saved a bit of money to! If I am free of my classes by then, I'll go by car and meet you there!"

"We have until next week to pay, right?" Riku asked and Sora nodded. The trip was only due next month, but it seemed to be so close already!

"I can't wait!" Ven exclaimed and looked to Vanitas "You'll love it, Vani!"

The raven smiled "I'm sure I will"

In between talks about school, videogames and news, the twins' parents told their friends about their adventures, especifically silly stuyff they used to do when they were kids, leaving the two boys deeply ashamed.

"No matter what we did though, nothing will ever beat what we did at our graduation!" Exclaimed Roxas, more in an attempt to draw his friends attention from their childhood stories.

"Oh yeaah!" His brother agreed "We switched places at the ceremony!"

"How?" Xion asked laughing.

"Like, you know how the seats are sorted in alphabetical order, right? We changed seat and I pretended to be Roxas and he pretended to be me, so we got each other's certificates!"

"Almost no one noticed!" Roxas continued, laughing "Only Sora knew what we were up to. Only when we were called to take a the pictures the teachers realized something was wrong!"

"Hey, I want to see the album!" Axel said "Where is it?"

"I'm gonna get it, wait up!" Ventus left running without wasting a second and soon returned with the album in hands, handing it over to Xion who held it for everyone else to see.

The brothers looked great, both with a playful and infectious smile. In the photographs it was actually hard to identify who was who, mainly because they were wearing identical clothes, striking identical poses and sharing the same triumphant, joyful eyes. It was impossible not to feel happy seeing them like that, not to mention Sora was also in those pictures just as cheerful as they were.

Axel laughed "Man… I can't believe I'll graduate this year! Seeing you guys like this brings back so many memories and, look at me, about to finish college already!"

"Time sure does fly, uh" Vanitas commented with a sigh, arms crossed over his chest.

"Now that you mention it, how was your graduation, Vani?"

"Hm? Ah, you know what it's like. A way too long ceremony followed by a speech of the class rep… Nothing too interesting"

" But you do have a photo album, right?" Riku asked "I didn't really care about mine, but my mother wanted it, so..."

"Not really. I don't… Like to take photos" Vanitas said, hoping no one else would ask about that. He really didn't want to think about it right now.

"What do you mean you don't like to take photos?" Exclaimed the redhead "That will change right now! Is any of you with your cell phone?"

"Hey, what are you-"

Vanitas did try to protest against it but Roxas was already up and Ventus next to him, all of their friends quickly approaching and standing around them. The oldest of the twins gave his cellphone to his mother, who readied it and told them all to look at the her.

Sora looked to Vanitas "Hey, come on now! No frowning and no sad face! This boat runs on happy faces!"

"Yeah! Stop being so gloomy!" Xion agreed and Axel gave the raven a slap on his shoulder so he would at least try not to look so irritated.

"Alright everyone, look at me!"

Vanitas once again tried to say something but froze when Ventus put his arms around him and gave the camera a thumbs up. The black-haired teen glanced up at him and, unable to deny anything to those blue eyes, let go of his pride and smiled softly to the camera as well.

There was the flash and they pulled apart, all of them eager to see the picture. Vanitas merely watched as their friends babbled about it but didn't pay too much attention to their words, only to the fact that Ventus still hadn't let go of him. The blonde giggled and, seeing that Vanitas actually looked pretty comfortable with him like this, tightened his embrace.

That picture would be one of the best memories they'd have in the future.

* * *

After lunch the teenagers went inside and ended up watching a random movie they found on the TV while having ice cream. Everyone was relaxed, calm and happy. Vanitas couldn't remember feeling that way before.

… Was that what having a family felt like?

A long time ago he thought he had one when his mother still lived with them. The memories he had of her, however, weren't too many. He was nothing but a small annoying kid back then, stupid enough to believe he had a good life. What he felt at Ventus' home, however, was more than what he could ask for. He felt so happy when Ventus' mother said she liked his food and when his father talked to him during lunch. It didn't matter if he wasn't used to that kind of treatment and for that reason behaved awkwardly; it was something that made him feel really well. However, that only left him even more depressed when he had to leave. Not long after the others left, it was his turn.

Ventus waited for him to say goodbye to his parents and Roxas before walking with him to the door. The two boys then stood a few minutes outside, simply staring at the street.

"I hope you enjoyed staying with us" Ventus said. He really wanted Vanitas to feel well instead of nervous or anxious.

Vanitas smiled "Of course I did, Ven. Thank you"

"Teheee. I can't wait for the trip to Disney Town! It'll be so awesome"

Vanitas' smile disappeared and he sighed. He should tell him already.

"Ven, about that…. I'm not going"

"What? Why?" The boy lowered his gaze "I thought it was decided, you even signed the list..."

"I had a few… Problems and no longer have the money. Even if I got a job tomorrow, I wouldn't be paid in time"

"But Vani, why didn't you tell me before?" He hesitated "Does… Does that have something to do with what happened that monday?"

"... Yes, it does"

Silence. The blonde thought about it for a while, putting his hand behind his head and now looking up, to the upcoming sunset. Before Vanitas got too depressed, Ventus spoke.

"I've got an idea!"

"Hm?"

"Tomorrow you and I are going downtown to find us some odd jobs. That way we can get the money you need!"

"... What are you talking about, Ven?"

"There's always someone in need of a service in there. Me and my brother already did some when we wanted to buy something for us"

"I'm not sure..."

"Does it really need to be a steady job?" Ventus asked as if reading his friend's mind "It'll be something just for you, Vani! Your… Your father doesn't need to know"

Vanitas held his breath, trying not to express concern with Ventus' words.

"The money will be for the trip and for whatever else you want, that's all! I mean, you really want to go, don't you?"

"Of course I do!"

"Then it's settled! Tomorrow morning, around 9AM, come home again and we'll go from here!"

The raven blinked many times while staring to the boy and Ventus put his hand on his waist, pretending to be angry and glaring at him for a few seconds. What had gotten into him?

"Whoa… Looks like my presence is really that important, uh?" Joked the older boy, smiling in a way that made Ventus flush crimson.

"O… O-Of course it is! It… It won't be the same without you..."

Vanitas laughed out loud, making Ven blush even more "Alright then… I like your idea. I'll come here once I wake up then"

"'Kay!" Ventus celebrated and smiled with joy before turning his attentin to the sky once again. Vanitas said nothing for a while and watched the boy, his heart beating faster by the minute. He let himself be and smild once the sunset finally started, the blue eyes of the younger boy shining with it.

"... Ha"

Ventus looked at him "What?"

"Nothing. It's just..." Vanitas stared to his own feet "It's kinda weird being here like this"

"Weird… In a bad way?"

"No. I just never imagined I'd have a day like this. Just getting to be with friends and relax, you know?"

Ventus nodded, smiling with compassion. After he told him about max and Tobias, Ven imagined having friends wasn't something usual for him. Still, there was something more in the raven's eyes…

"And… Ventus, I..."

The boy didn't take his eyes off him for a single second while he tried to gather the courage to tell him whatever it was... Then Vanitas approached him and brought him closer into an embrace.

Time seemed to stop. Vanitas… What was he doing? Why so suddenly? Especially him who rarely showed any kind of affection, why-

"You look adorable when you blush like this" Vanitas said in a low voice. Ventus didn't move and remembered when he had caressed his head at this exact same spot many weeks ago. Now he had… Hugged him. Vanitas had really hugged him!

"Y-y… You're... Ahm... Adorable in any way" Ventus whispered and hugged him back, more to hide how nervous he was. They felt their hearts beat as one and Ventus didn't let go while Vanitas didn't.

When they pulled away, the black-haired teen continued "Can I... Watch the sunset with you?"

"S... Sure. I-I'd love you to!"

The two boys sat next to each other on the sidewalk. Ventus couldn't stop smiling but he didn't know what to do except to look at the sky. It was when Vanitas took the initiative and took his hand in his own.

The blonde turned to Vanitas, watching those yellow eyes he liked so much shining only for him, and giggled before sitting even closer to him. The sun went down not too long after this, but the warm feeling both felt as they held hands would remain for longer than they could imagine.


	28. Nightmare

The rain was pouring down. The sun was nowhere to be seen, covered by dark and dense clouds that forced children and adults alike to stay indoors. For young children who were at school, however, they now had to wait for their parents to come and pick them up.

The small 5 year old entered his house running and wiped his feet on the rug at their door before going inside trembling.

"Daddy, I'm cold!"

"Yeah, well, so am I. Go to the bathroom"

Vanitas did as he was told. He was a good kid; he always took his clothes off and left them folded over the toilet for them to be washed later. If his dad was busy, he didn't mind putting them into the washing machine as well. He did all of his chores carefully and patiently, always did all of his homework right and was always quiet.

But above all of his traits, he knew to obey.

"The hell is this?" Xehanort asked later while bathing him, staring closely to a cut on his hand.

"... I.. I fell down. I was leaving the classroom and the floor was wet so I slipped and-"

Xehanort glared at him and the boy stopped talking. He knew very well to stay quiet when his father looked at him like that, so he lowered his head and stared to his own feet while Xehanort washed his hair with shampoo. Vanitas spoke a few seconds later.

"I made a drawing today"

Silence.

"I drew a baby duck. And a forest for him. And a lake"

"Hm"

Vanitas looked up trying to see if his father was still glaring at him but all he got was soap in his eyes. He closed them tightly and immediately started rubbing them. In silence.

"Got soap in your eyes again, uh?! When will you learn not to move while I'm giving you a bath?!"

Vanitas groaned painfully in the lowest tone of voice he could manage. It hurt, it hurt a lot but he couldn't cry for that.

 _No crying._

He held his pain inside until his father was done and then breathed in relief when he washed his eyes. As usual, the little boy dried himself alone while his dad left to… Do something. He didn't know what exactly it was and he couldn't ask either. Daddy always said it was none of his business.

Vanitas walked to his bedroom and smiled for the first time that day when he saw his little Flood friend there, sitting on his bed and waiting for him. He walked to the plushie in fast steps and caressed his tiny blue head.

"Hi Flood! I'm home!"

The plushie barely moved with his touch. Still, Vanitas didn't really mind it's silence; it was the only one that didn't make him feel alone.

He ran to his wardrobe and got himself a green shirt he loved and a grey shorts, changing clothes quickly as he spoke.

"I drew a baby duck today!"

Flood was still looking at him. He looked without seeing but to the boy he was paying attention to every word he said.

"And a forest. And a lake! The teacher said it was cute, but that's because she doesn't know you! You're lots cuter!"

He grabbed the plushie and hugged it. He loved his friend more than anything in the world. Flood was always there while he studied or watched TV. Flood always listened while he told him about his day at school. Flood was always there when he felt lonely and when he cried himself to sleep.

He loved his Flood. And yet he would've done anything to be loved by his father.

"The teacher even let us bring it hom- Oh!"

Vanitas gasped. Maybe if he showed him his drawing dad would actually listen to him! He ran to his backpack and grabbed the drawing, almost intact despite how heavy the rain was.

Without thinking too much he ran to the kitchen with the drawing in hands. He smiled and for a second a bit of hope grew in his heart, but in his excitement he didn't see the adult and bumped right into him. The next sound he heard was that of shattering glass and food falling on the floor.

And so he had his most instinctive reaction.

"I'm sorry!" Vanitas exclaimed, tightening his fingers around his bond paper " I-I'm sorry, daddy!"

Xehanort stared at him in annoyance and disappointment. Vanitas hated when he looked at him like that. It always made him feel scared.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I… I-I'll clean it, I'll clean it all!"

The adult grumbled with anger, pulling the drawing from the boy's hand with violence and slamming it against the table.

"It wasn't enough to make me go pick you up under this freaking rain, now you won't even let me eat in peace?! Look at what you did with my lunch!"

"Y-You can eat mine! You can eat mine, dad, I-I don't mind, i-it's okay…!"

"Shut up. Go to your room!"

Vanitas stared to the floor, holding his hands together over his chest.

"I… I-I can clean it f-for yo-"

Xehanort held him by one arm and pulled him closer, shaking him and forcing him to look into his eyes.

"Are you allowed to refuse when I give you an order?!"

"I-I'm not refusing, I just want to h-"

"Stop answering when I told you to shut up!"

The child gulped and trembled in fear.

"I'm so-"

Xehanort let him go with a push "Go to your fucking room! And don't you dare get out of there!"

"Y… Y-Yes, daddy..."

Vanitas jumped over the splattered food, careful not to step on it, and walked to his bedroom teary-eyed. He closed the door without making a sound and sat on his bed.

Flood was still there.

"He… He didn't even look at my drawing" The boy whispered minutes later. No matter how much he held it in, he couldn't hide his sadness and sighed, trying his best not to cry "I… I always mess things up, d-don't I?"

He held the plushie in his arms, staring into nothingness while trying to remember Xehanort's rules and hoping his dad wouldn't beat him again because of what he did. He focused and started to remember all of them...

 _No complaining, no fighting back, no questioning and no crying_. He could only obey, pay attention and be quiet.

But there was something missing… Something…

Then he remembered! No matter what happened, _no screaming_.

When he heard his father's footsteps approaching his bedroom door Vanitas hugged his Flood even tighter, trembling uncontrollably and biting his lips once tears started to roll down his face. Dad always told him not to cry, but he always cried in the end, he always cried, he was so scared, he didn't want him to hurt him again, but he had misbehaved, he deserved it, he deserved it…

Vanitas was a good kid but it still wasn't enough for Xehanort. For as long as he disobeyed those rules, it would never be enough. It would never be enough.

The door opened.

* * *

Vanitas was hugging his pillow desperately when he woke up and opened his eyes at once, immediately sitting straight and turning to the door. He stared at it intently for what seemed like ages but there was no sound outside. There was no one coming for him. There was just… The silence in the dark.

The teen covered his face with both hands taking deep, shaky breaths to calm himself down but it took him longer than he expected to do it. Damnit… Damnit, damnit-!

He lay down again, covering his pounding head with his blanket and trying not to think about his dream... But how could he if one led to another? It would've meant nothing if it was just that: A dream or, better, a nightmare. He would've calmed down in an instant and it would be as easy to sleep again as it was to wake up. But it wouldn't be that easy.

After all, he was never haunted by nightmares.

He was haunted by memories.


	29. Chapter 29

"Are you okay?" Ventus asked the older boy who walked next to him as they made their way towards the downtown. It was obvious that Vanitas was having a really hard time trying to keep his eyes open and Ventus, of course, was worried about him "You look really tired… Did you have trouble sleeping?"

"Yeah, I… I had a nightmare" Vanitas rubbed his eyes and yawned. He hadn't managed to sleep since we woke up at 3AM. However, Ventus' idea had really picked his interest and he couldn't overlook the fact that he had only until that friday to pay for the trip! Besides, he was pretty used to not sleeping well, so why bother?

"Do you want to talk about it? I know how awful nightmares can be..."

"Nah, it's okay. Thank you, though"

"And did you have breakfast? Did you eat?"

"Yup. Relax Ven, I can take care of myself"

"... I wouldn't be so sure of that"

Once at the town, Ventus walked straight to one of the notice boards and looked at the many notices, flyers and, of course, papers and more papers offering jobs for anyone who'd like to do them. He read them all with attention.

"So?" Vanitas asked after a few seconds.

"Well, there's a woman with a bee infestation at her house so she needs someone to help her to get rid of it… Then there's this guy who's looking for someone to clean his yard and mow the lawn… And…"

Ventus gasped, his mouth open in surprise and excitement! Vanitas frowned.

"What is it?"

"There will be a Struggle Tournament next month!" He exclaimed, pointing to the flyer of the event.

"Struggle? I didn't know that was still a thing. It's been years since no one even mentions it"

"I know right? Me and brother participated every time but we never won. We loved it though!"

Vanitas approached the board to read it: Registration were currently open for those interested in it. The struggle bats could already be bought. Every participant had to be at least 13 years old and the event itself would happen exactly one week after their trip to Disney Town.

Ventus told Vanitas about how he and Roxas used to practice for it every year and how Sora

almost got the trophy once. Vanitas let him go overboard for a few seconds before speaking again.

"Okay… So we'll do some of those jobs and, once we're done, we can go this address so you can sign up. What do you think?"

"Really? Are you coming with me?"

"Of course. If you're participating this time, that is"

"Of course I am!" Ventus replied, even happier now "You should too! It'll be fun!"

"I think I better not… I don't want to see you all sad when I win the trophy myself"

Ventus crossed his arms "Is that a challenge?"

"That is a fact!" Vanitas replied, boasting "We both know which one of us is the strongest, Ven"

"Oh yeah? Well, I'm the fastest!" Retorted the boy, pointing to himself "The Struggle is an endurance test! So even if you're stronger, I doubt you can defeat me while I'm dodging nonstop!"

"Há, right! Fine, if you insist so much I'll sign up too. I just hope you won't cry when I win"

"I'm not insisting, you're the one who wants to participate but are too proud to admit it!"

The two laughed at each other and then finally turned their attention back to the flyers on the board again. Vanitas was going to help a man with his house's gate painting and Ventus decided to help the woman with the bee infestation. Both agreed to meet again at that same spot once they were done and then went different ways.

Vanitas finished painting the gate around midday. The owner of the house was really satisfied with his work and paid him 30 munny for it. Thanking him, the black-haired then walked back to the board and waited a few minutes until Ventus came back.

"Wait… I thought you said you were the fastest!" Vanitas joked as Ven approached him. The blonde laughed with irony.

"Very funny, haha! Anyway, look: I got 20 munny! What about you?"

"30" Vanitas thought to himself: The amount he needed was 200; he would have to work a lot for that.

"Great! We already have 50 munny on our first day so I think it won't take long before we reach our goal!" Vanitas stared at him for a few seconds.

"50 if we count yours, you mean. I only have 30"

"Oh, you didn't really think I was going to get money for myself? I'm just helping you!"

"You don't have to"

Ventus sighed "Come on, there's no need to feel embarrassed for this, really! I'm here because I want to help you so we can go to Disney Town together! Alright?"

Vanitas raised an eyebrow, pretending to be irritated but unable to keep that expression for too long. Ventus didn't need to do that, he could be at home relaxing and yet he was here! The raven took a deep breath.

"I'll pay you once I get a full-time job"

"I won't accept your money, Vani. But I won't refuse if you pay me an ice cream later!"

Vanitas rolled his eyes but smiled at the end. Geez, that blonde...

"Okay then. I think this is enough for now, we can come back after lunch. Wanna go home?" Ventus asked but Vanitas denied.

"Not before we get you signed up"

"Oh yeah, the Struggle! Come on!" Ventus exclaimed and held Vanitas' hand, pulling him while he ran down the street.

"What's the big prize for the winner anyway?"

"The Struggle Trophy! It's a symbol of honor and is handed over from the previous victor to the year's winner! It's like… This blue statuette with four crystals in it. Me and brother always agreed that, if we ever won, we would keep one crystal each and then give the other two to our friends!"

"I see… It's more like a symbol, then"

"Yep! I really wanted to win just once, though…"

"Why?"

"Oh, I don't know. I just… Think it must be nice to be a winner, no?"

Vanitas thought about it "...Well, if it's something that you really want… I will help you with your training so you can take that prize home!"

"Uh? But I thought you were going to participate?" Ventus asked. After all, if Vanitas won, the trophy would be his!

"I was joking back there. But think about it… If we both do it, we'll have higher chances of winning. Then you can have that trophy. Deal?"

It took the boy a few seconds to get his idea. So Vanitas wanted to try it as well in order for both of them to get to the finals!

"Oh… Then at least one of us has to win! That way, no matter who does, victory will be ours!"

"Smart boy!"

They arrived at their destination a few minutes after that. There weren't too many people there, maybe five or six, all of them waiting in line to sign up for the event. Ventus looked at them and it was then that his smile disappeared and he stopped walking. The blonde let out a sigh, suddenly looking tense, and Vanitas followed his gaze to see what he was staring at… Or who.

Max was there as well.

"Geez… Is that asshole going to participate?" Vanitas asked out loud, pretending not to be bothered with his presence because Ventus clearly was. The smaller boy turned to him.

"Do you think he'll try to do something?"

"He's not stupid to do anything in front of all those people. In any case I'm here, so don't worry too much about it"

"Okay..."

They walked to the line of people and waited. Max remained quiet until he signed up and only when he turned around to leave was that he saw the other two boys.

"Hey. Good afternoon!" He said with a smirk. Ventus looked away but Vanitas stared right into his eyes "Oy, why the grumpy face? I'm just greeting you guys"

Ventus crossed his arms still looking away; his mother told him Max and his friends had been suspended for two weeks, but did that really matter if they could still meet outside of school? Sensing his apprehension, Vanitas spoke.

"Didn't know you liked Struggle" He said casually.

"I'm not the one participating, Julius is. Glad to see you're into it as well; he's been looking for a punching bag lately"

"Don't you dare!" Ventus exclaimed and even Vanitas was surprised. He pointed to Max without leaving the raven's side "If you even try something against us again, you're gonna regret it!"

Max widened his eyes "Oh wow… Well, I'm not too interested at the moment. Who knows next time, blondie? After all… Vanitas won't be around forever"

He smiled coldly to the raven and Vanitas held his breath; damn those threats again…

"He doesn't need me to deal with you, though. I mean, your buddies did all the work last time. I wonder how long you'd last if you were alone" Vanitas retorted. The three boys stared at one another for a few seconds, all of them being watched by everyone else in line, but after a while Max shook his head.

"I'm not gonna waste my time with you. See you at the tournament, losers!"

With that he walked away, pretending not to be mad or irritated and failing terribly at that. Ventus and Vanitas watched him go and only when he disappeared from their sight they looked at each other.

"Holy shit, that was great!" Vanitas exclaimed and, before Ventus could understand what he was referring to, caressed the blonde's hair vigorously "You caught him totally off guard with that. That'll teach him!"

"Me? I-I did nothing…"

"Well, you definitely showed you're not scared of him anymore. That will make him think twice before messing with you again"

Ventus giggled, his cheeks completely red by now "W-well, no, I-I just… I didn't say that because of me, actually. I just don't want him to hurt you again. But… I-if he ever tries, he'll have to deal with me!"

Vanitas laughed, loving the brave face Ventus put on, and gave him a nudge "Tch! Don't worry about me. I told you I can take care of myself. Although I would be in pretty bad shape if you hadn't helped me back there"

"Hehe… I guess we do make a good team, uh?"

Vanitas said nothing in return. Instead, he put an arm around Ventus' shoulder and smiled to himself. He was actually proud of Ventus for standing up for himself and he couldn't help but enjoy knowing the boy would actually fight for him if needed.

Just a few minutes after that they left for Ventus' home. The blonde spoke gleefully while the raven listened with patience and care. He could listen to Ventus all day and yet it wouldn't be enough. It was as if the more they were together, the more he wanted them to stay together! He thought about his conversation with Xion and how she told him to tell Ventus about his feelings. Oh, how he wanted to! And yet it was so hard...

His mind drifted far away while they walked and only when they stopped by the front door he pulled himself together. It wasn't like he had a choice though: Ventus couldn't ignore the shouts coming from inside either.

"That's so embarrassing! Just… God, dad, why did you have to-?!" Roxas exclaimed and they heard his mother try to say something but his father did first.

"Son, would you please listen to what I'm sayi-"

"We never did anything! We just like to spend our time together, it's not like- Uuugh, seriously, why?!"

Ventus widened his eyes and turned to Vanitas, who looked pretty shocked as well. He gave him an awkward smile.

"Ahn… Well, ahn… Do you want to go downtown tomorrow again?"

Vanitas nodded, unable to ignore how angry Roxas sounded. Unlike Ventus he didn't know what he was talking about but, based on what he was saying, he had an idea "Sure. But… Don't you want to go somewhere now? Until everything is… Settled?"

"Nah, it's okay. Roxas will need someone to talk to when this is over so I better stay here"

"Ven to the rescue"

"Something like that, haha"

Once Vanitas left, Ventus prepared himself and opened the door as slowly as he could. His father and brother were at the living room, with Roxas questioning him while the adult merely waited for him to stop. Ventus walked by them, waving awkwardly to his dad and being ignored by his angry brother.

"What's going on?" He asked his mother who was at the kitchen.

"Oh, hello sweetie. I'm sure your brother will tell you everything once he's finished"

"I better prepare myself then!"

"Indeed. But forget about Roxas for now, tell me about you. How did it go?"

"It was great! We got 50 munny today, I'm sure we'll have everything until fri-"

"How did you expected me to react?!" Roxas screamed from the living room.

"-day, so it was fine. Oh, and we saw Max there too!"

"Max? That boy who's threatened you?! Did he do something?!"

"He spoke ill of Vani… So I told him he'd have to deal with us if he tried anything again. Vani said I did great although it felt pretty scary!"

"Haha, I see. Well, that's right! I don't you to go around picking fights but I surely want you to defend yourself! Just promise you'll always tell me everything, sweetheart"

"I promise, mom" With that, the youngest blonde gave his mother a kiss and just like that went up to his bedroom to wait until Roxas came after him.

It took him only ten minutes of waiting.

His brother walked into their bedroom and then into the bathroom, apparently washing his face and then jumping on his bed. Seconds later he spoke.

"Do you know what dad and Axel were talking about yesterday?"

Ventus shook his head "Did you find out…?"

"Yeah and guess what! He was having a serious conversation with Axel about me! Because even though we're friends, if we ever do something else then he'd have to keep in mind he's older than me! And that he has to be careful and wait until I'm older to do 'anything' because I'm still just a teen? Like… ?! Can you freaking believe he said that to Axel?!"

Ventus didn't move, astonished with Roxas' sudden outburst.

"O… Oh…"

"I mean, Jesus! We have only kissed once and that was it. It's as if dad thinks I'm not old enough to care for myself! I know my limits and Axel does too. I can't even imagine how he must've felt while hearing those things!"

The younger blonde nodded still unsure of what Roxas wanted him to say. After all, his father did have a point. And it wouldn't hurt to have a nice, calm conversation about… Some things, would it?

"W… Well…" Ventus cleared his throat "I understand what you mean. Still, do you think all of that anger was really… Necessary?"

Roxas stared at him in denial "What do you mean? Didn't you just listen to me?"

"Geez, no need to be harsh with me, Rox"

Roxas crossed his arms "I'm… I'm sorry. But you gotta understand! Based on… What I've said until now. Sorry, Ven"

Ventus smiled. Roxas had always been such a hothead but, even after all those years, he still managed to calm him down just with a few words.

"Yeah, yeah… I understand" Ventus lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling while speaking "Still, even Vanitas was scared of you! I'm pretty sure dad didn't like this either, neither mom"

"Vanitas heard me?" Roxas looked away "I… I wasn't that loud-"

"Yes, you were. Why do you think I didn't even greet you when I came in?" Ventus laughed, his mind suddenly filled with memories of their childhood "It's been a while since you don't get this stressed, so I admit it's kinda funny seeing you like this"

"It's not funny! Just..."

"Anyway..." Ventus giggled, unable to keep a serious face for too long "I'm not saying that's not embarrassing. But still…You can't deny that Axel is older than you, brother. And we're old enough to know what dad is worried about"

"Yeah. But we've had this conversation before. He spoke with both of us, remember? Even mother gave us advice"

"Uhum. That's why you have to understand their side too, Rox. They're just worried about you like they've always been. So all dad did was talk to Axel because he wants you to be okay"

"You sound more like another dad than my brother sometimes" Roxas said with a frown and Ventus laughed out loud.

"Well, someone's gotta keep you in check, right? Seriously, though… Must've been very weird for you, but I'm sure Axel understood it all. Better than you did, at least"

"... Maybe"

"Just don't forget to apologize to mom and dad later, uh?"

"Riiiight"

Only a few minutes passed before the boys started to laugh and tell silly jokes. Maybe Roxas was the older sibling (By seven minutes!) and maybe he was protective of Ventus, but no matter how many years passed and he still wouldn't be able to argue against his little brother for too long.

* * *

"Ven, it's time! Ven… Brother, wake up!"

"Mmmmm..." The boy covered his head with his blanket. Roxas rolled his eyes and left for the kitchen, pretty used to his brother's behavior, and was already having his breakfast when Ventus finally showed up with his wild messy hair. They finished breakfast together and Ven ran back to the bedroom to pick up his backpack.

"We're going to be late because of you!" Roxas shouted from downstairs while Ventus brushed his

teeth.

'I'm coming, I'm coming!" He ran after his brother, complaining about him until they were side by side.

It was extremely cold! It wasn't windy and yet it was cold enough for the boys to wear their winter clothes. Ventus and even Roxas already expected to see Vanitas at the school's block, smoking as usual, but today he was accompanied by Xion and Ienzo.

"Good morning!" The twins greeted, waving to them. They greeted them back and joined the boys on their walk to school.

"Are we going downtown today again?" Ventus asked and Vanitas nodded.

"Sure. Maybe we can get our bats too"

"Bats?" Xion asked.

"Yeah, Struggle Bats! It's a competition we have here! We fight against each other and the first one to fall loses" Ventus explained.

"Ohhh, so cool! When are the subscriptions due?" Xion continued, interested.

"I'm not sure but they're open now! You just need to go there, it's free!"

For the rest of the week Ventus and Vanitas kept their routine of going to the board at 2PM, doing any jobs they managed to and meeting again at the same place to count how much they had. It was on thursday, one day before they had to pay for the trip, that they finally got the needed amount.

"230 munny! 200 pays the trip and we still have 30 left!" Ventus celebrated, happy while giving Vanitas the rest of the money.

"I wouldn't have made it without your help! Thank you, Ven"

Ventus gave him a wide smile, putting his arms behind his head "No need to thank me. I really want you to go, Vani!"

Vanitas giggled, truly happy, and put the money in his pocket.

"Me too. But hey, we can buy our bats now. Wanna go?"

"Yeah! Let's go there now!"

They didn't take too long to choose their bats: Ventus chose a blue one, Roxas' favourite, and Vanitas got himself a green one. They went back to the blonde's home and spent the rest of the day talking about the competition before they agreed to start practicing for it on the next monday.

Then it was Friday. It was of general opinion that Terra and Aqua were going with them to Disney Town and Marluxia waited patiently while the students brought him the money and signed the list confirming their presence.

The moment Vanitas gave his 200 munny and wrote his name down on the list Ventus raised his arms above his head in celebration. The older boy returned to his desk, sat down in silence… And then did the same, looking at Ventus with a cheerful, truly happy smile.

And Ventus loved that smile. He really wanted to make Vanitas happy and, at least for now, he was sure he had managed to.

* * *

Vanitas entered his home gleefully that friday, ignoring the cold weather and doing everything his father told him to without complaining, way too happy to care about the old man's stress. He was thinking about the trip, the first he would ever go to with the school! Of course the trip itself didn't matter that much; what really mattered was who he was going with.

He stared into nothingness for a moment, remembering how adorable Ventus' reaction was when he held his hand… And that made him think about what the truly felt. Vanitas wasn't the kind of person who'd keep thinking about things that happened but he couldn't help it when Ventus was involved. He thought about how he loved when he smiled or laughed. Also about how he never let himself be taken over by pessimism, being patient even when he shouldn't.

The boy had never felt this way before; he wanted to spent as much time as he could with the blonde. He wanted to protect him, to make sure he was fine, to make sure he was happy! The raven sighed and then his mind drifted to that day in the bathroom at the twins' home. He couldn't explain the feeling that took over him but he knew he wanted to kiss him, to show how much he cared-

And Ventus hadn't show any resistance. It was as if he wanted that as well!

Vanitas thought; they knew each other for some time now and Ventus… Maybe Ventus didn't show hesitation that day because he wanted the same? Maybe he had just been frozen by surprise? Why were those feelings so complicated?

It was around 7PM when Ventus sent him a message. Apparently Axel was going to sleep at their house and so Ventus wanted him to go there as well and spend the night together. Vanitas frowned and… Was that jealousy he was feeling? Axel was going to sleep there… He could only imagine how good it would be.

Returning his attention to the message, it seemed they wanted to go to the bakery to have a hot drink and so he was invited as well. Vanitas then quickly took a bath, choosing some black pants he liked and his red sweatshirt to wear.

"Where are you going, boy?" His father asked minutes later when he opened the door to leave.

"I'll go take a walk. Be back later"

He left home without waiting for any comments and made his way to the boy's house. He knocked on the door three times and then he was answered.

"Good evening!" It was Roxas who opened the door.

"Evening!"

"Vani, come in!" Ventus exclaimed from the kitchen and Vanitas did, greeting the blondes' parents and walking to him.

"Axel is in the bathroom, we'll be leaving soon!" Ventus said the moment he approached and gave him a welcoming hug.

"It's really cold outside though. Do you think it's a good idea to go out?" His father asked.

"We'll get warm once we to the bakery dad, don't worry" Roxas said. After yesterday's discussion, he apologized and talked to his father and mother about him and Axel. They gave him even more advices (Ventus watched it all with a big smile on his face) and once he understood their worry, they agreed he could spend more time with the red head as long as he behaved himself. Therefore, Axel was allowed to sleep there tonight and had already put his stuff in the guest room.

Once they left, Roxas told Axel all about his day and his plans for the next week, arms locked with his. Vanitas and Ventus walked side but side but there was a clear, even if small, distance between them. The raven noticed that Ventus didn't take his eyes off the two walking in front of them and, well, who was he trying to fool? He couldn't take his eyes off them himself, seeing as they had no problems in walking so close to each other. Vanitas wondered if he could try and do the same with Ven...

And as if in response, Ventus suddenly hugged himself with slightly shaking hands: It was his chance!

"You alright in there, Ven? Are you cold?"

"A little. But I'll be fine once we get there!"

"Maybe I can…Help you with the cold" Vanitas said, trying to keep his cool and not sound too presumptuous, so once Ventus looked at him without understanding he did what he wanted to and put an arm around him, bringing him closer to himself while making him feel warmer as well. Ventus was surprised but it felt so good to be this close to Vanitas that he let himself be, comfy.

When they arrived at the bakery they chose a table in the back where was warmer and asked for two cappuccinos and two mochaccinos. They were in the middle of a conversation when Ventus realized…

"Hey, this is that same sweatshirt, isn't it?"

"Yeah. Must be funny to see me wearing it after so long, uh?

Axel and Roxas didn't understand but Ventus remembered it all very well. He felt so nervous back then, afraid Vanitas would scream at him or beat him, but in the end he managed to help him with no problems at all.

"If it wasn't for that, do you think we would be here today like this?" Ventus asked and Axel narrowed his eyes.

"Hey, what are you two talking about? I want to know!" He said playfully. The younger blonder laughed to himself and lay his head against Vanitas' arm. He had felt so relieved when Vanitas used his first aid kit... How long had that been? It felt like a long time ago.

"Just look at you two" Axel said, pointing to them. Roxas didn't say anything, swallowing his jealousy and letting them feel comfortable despite his will to say something "Can't wait to see you bringing that Struggle trophy back home together!"

"Me neither. We have to practice for it, Ven" Said the older boy, taking a sip of his mochaccino.

"We'll start on monday! It'll be great!"

"Everything is 'great' for you" Vanitas said with kindness.

From that moment on Ventus wouldn't stop talking about Struggle and about every time he and his brother participated, making the conversation more interesting and giving them the giggles. It was so pleasant to be there that it was actually hard to go outside and face the cold again, but they couldn't avoid that for too long so they eventually left. The four of them went to the square, sitting on one of the benches and watching the people. Everyday at night there were some food stands, clothing stands and even some people selling toys around. Many families were there that night, children, teenagers and adults coming and going.

Ventus and Vanitas sat side by side while Ven looked at the stars and Axel was about to say something when he noted the way Vanitas was looking to the boy.

"Hey Rox, let's take a look around" Axel said out of nowhere "I'm curious as to what kind of clothing they're selling here"

"Oh, it's nothing special, just-" Roxas started but Axel interrupted him.

"Let's see if there's something neat for us there!" Before Ventus and Vanitas could follow, he turned to them "You kids wait for us here, we'll be right back"

"Hey, who are you calling a kid?" Ventus complained and they both walked away (Much to Roxas' discontent). Vanitas finally mustered the courage to speak a few minutes later.

"Do you like watching the stars?"

"Yeah. Me and my brother did that all the time"

"That's cool! I used to do that all the time too when I was a kid"

"You did?" Ventus smiled: Vani had never talked about his childhood before! "What was it like?"

Vanitas was caught off guard; there was nothing too exciting about watching the stars at night and yet he felt glad Ventus asked. He shrugged as if it was nothing, but couldn't deny that was something he really liked to do.

"Ahn… Great, I guess. I had this… Plushie I liked. It was a blue weird creature and well, you know how children are, I would take him with me wherever I went. Its name was… Flood. So we watched the stars together. Or at least I thought he was watching them, it was nothing but a toy of course. So stupid"

"It's not stupid, it's cute! It seems Flood was more than a toy for you so it was a very important moment, wasn't it? You don't have to pretend you didn't like it"

"... Yeah"

Vanitas then sat closer to him, letting him lay his head over his chest and closed his arms around his body to warm him up.

"You know, Vani..." Ventus started.

"Hm…?"

"I was really fun to do all those jobs this week. I… I am really happy you're coming with us to Disney Town"

"So am I" Vanitas said, unaware that he was now caressing the blonde's head "I've never been to an amusement park before. It must be awesome"

"Yeah! You'll love it in there, I'll take you to the best attractions and all the rides! Do you like the roller coaster? What about the ferris wheel? Have you-"

Ventus continued, detailing what they could do and where they could go and soon he was telling Vanitas about the park's history, about the people he met there and pretty much about everything. When he finally stopped, he pulled away from his friend and sighed.

"I'm sorry… I got too excited and didn't even let you talk" He said embarrassed. Vanitas didn't reply right away, he just stood there trying to find the right words. Trying to tell him how important it was to be there with him-

"Don't apologize. Ventus, I..." Vanitas stared deep into his eyes "I… I really like when you talk about things the way you do. You're always so… So cheerful and excited. And I like how you always do everything you can to help people. To… To make them happy. You know, it's kinda funny because I only got to know you after you helped me, even if I didn't want your help. Even if… Even when when I didn't want anything..."

He looked directly into the blonde's eyes and Ventus didn't move, his heart pounding as Vanitas got closer and closer. He felt the older boy's hand slowly move to his face and touch him with calm, felt how this same hand trembled slightly and saw how anxious he was feeling as he approached him. Ventus himself couldn't bring himself to say any word, only to look to this boy he was so fond of...

"Ven..." Vanitas closed his eyes as he got even closer. _Ven, you are so important to me_ , he tried to say. _Ven, I'd do anything just to keep you safe_ , he tried to say. There was so much, so much he felt, so much he wanted to tell him but even if he tried to turn those thoughts into words he knew it wouldn't be enough. It wouldn't be enough because what he felt was something deep, something real, he….

 _Ven, I am in love with you!_

Ventus closed his eyes and Vanitas' lips touched his own. At first he didn't understand what ran through his mind but his heart beats became so strong that he stopped thinking altogether and returned the kiss. He rested his hands behind the raven's neck, slowly moving them upwards and along his hair, keeping him close and only pulling apart to breath before kissing him again.

Vanitas had waited that moment for a long time but he always feared what might happen then, feared being rejected, feared losing Ventus again. Now, however, he felt whole. He was sure of what he felt, sure of what he wanted, and when he saw in Ventus' eyes this same intensity of affection he smiled.

"V… Vani..." Ventus whispered, breathing deep and looking at the older boy. Vanitas kissed him on his forehead and then laughed joyfully, unaware of how trembly he was as he smiled to the blonde.

"You're so beautiful" Vanitas said and his eyes shined like they had never done before. The younger boy looked at him, intertwined in those beautiful, powerful eyes, and smiled from ear to ear as Vanitas too lost himself in his deep, ocean blue gaze.

With a giggle Ventus then lay his head over his arm, holding onto him, and Vanitas caressed his face. They stood like that for a few minutes before Axel and Roxas returned and, once they did, the boys simply got up and walked with them. Their silence wasn't awkward for both knew words wouldn't be enough to express what they were feeling and so they held each other's hand, not letting go until the night was over.


	30. Chapter 30

**Author's Notes:** **Hello everyone! How are you doing? :D**

 **Before you read the chapter itself... Do you guys remember the chapter where Vanitas and Ventus accidentaly ended up waay too close in the bus on their way to the music school? (Chapter 22 in case you don't). Yeah, well...**  
 **MY BEST FRIEND MADE A DRAWING OF THAT SCENE AND IT'S THE CUTEST AND MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I'VE EVER SEEN. LIKE, THEY'RE SO SWEET AND VANI AND VEN'S SMILE ARE JUST PERFECT? LIKE OMG?**

: / / bit . ly / 2BtGeHt (Remove spaces and put http before everything)

 **CHECK IT OUT 3 I'm sure you'll love it because it's AMAZING AAA! Check out her other art too, I'll sure you'll love them 3**

 **On a second note...**

 **OMGGGG WHAT WAS THAT NEW KH3 TRAILER? If you haven't watched it yet here's the link ( watch?v=lz-0zQ2dI-U) because I'll give spoilers down here**  
 **I KNEW MONSTERS INC HAD TO BE REAL BUT OMFG SORA LOOKS SO CUTE AND WHEN VANITAS THEME SONG STARTED I WAS LIKE "OH MY GOD, MY BOY?" AND THEN AT THE END HE'S LIKE I'm back ;) AND VENTUS RECOGNIZES HIM THROUGH SORA AND I'M JUST *crying loud***  
 **Nomura please, expand upon his tragic backstory AND LET OUR BOY HAVE PEACE WITH VEN. THEY'VE SUFFERED ENOUGH**  
 **(Also apparently the translation at the end is wrong. Vanitas didn't call Ventus an 'insignificant speck' but instead 'remnant of my heart' which gives me EVEN MORE FEELS 'CAUSE HE NEEDS VENTUS TO STOP HIS PAIN**

 ***breathes deeply***

 **Phew! Sorry for the caps, I'm really freaking out xD Hope you enjoy this chapter! The next one is coming tomorrow!**

* * *

It was past midnight and the only light sources in the twins' bedroom were the TV (The movie _The Three Musketeers_ was being shown) and Ventus' cell phone screen. The boy stared to the device with a sleepy smile, running his fingers on the screen while reading and rereading his conversation with Vanitas.

Roxas was deeply asleep next to Axel who lay on his bed next to him. He was the only one watching the movie at the moment but would occasionally take a glance at Ventus, noticing how happy he was.

"Aren't you sleepy?" Axel asked after some time, startling the blonde.

"Oh, just a little..." Ventus replied, smiling to his friend before turning his attention back to his cell phone. Axel left him quiet for a few minutes before talking to him again.

"Let me guess… You're talking to Vanitas"

"Nah, he's gone to bed already. I'm just killing time, really"

"Right" Axel looked at him "You look happy. Even more than usual, incredible as it may seem"

"Yeah... It's that, ahn... I really liked going out tonight, just the four of us. It was great!"

"Indeed. And you and Van, hopefully he won't curse me for calling him like this, but you two seem to be really getting along"

Ventus let out a shy laughter "Indeed. Vanitas is really kind to me. And he… He makes me feel good"

Ventus really wanted to tell someone what happened but he feared his brother's reaction and wasn't sure he wanted to tell his parents about it at all. For now he only had Axel… And, well, Axel worried a lot about him just like all of his friends. For some reason - Maybe because he was the oldest and most experienced of them all -, Ventus imagined there would be no problem in telling him first.

— He… We… Ahn, is my brother sleeping?

— Hm-Hm — Axel nodded.

— We… We kissed today.

— Really? — Axel of course had expected that and replied with an ear to ear smile, settling himself on the bed and turning to the blushing blonde. Despite his embarrassment, however, Ventus shared the same happiness Axel expressed, not afraid to admit it.

— Uhum! And he didn't force me into it, you know. I think… I think that if I asked him to stop he would. He was… He was really caring.

Axel chuckled — That's great, Ven! You know, since the very beginning I just knew you felt something more for him . And Vanitas… He really likes you a lot.

— Did he tell you something?

— It's secret, of course!

— Aww, come on! Please, tell me! — Ventus asked, sitting straight so he could stare to his friend who now laughed playfully.

— Let's just say I talked to him once. You're really important to him, Ven. You can be sure of that.

The blonde smiled. It was funny to think that just a few months ago they didn't even know each other. At the beginning of that year he didn't even imagine they'd be friends one day! And now he meant so much…

— How… How do you think Roxas will react? — Ventus asked.

— Hmm… How do you think?

— I… I don't know. You see, he really despised Vanitas back then. And then there was our argument and all…

— Listen, Ventus… Roxas has his way of being but that's because he loves you and wants to take care of you. I mean, want it or not you're the youngest by- How many minutes again?

— Seven — Ventus laughed.

— That's right, seven minutes! That's just how big brothers are, you know. He wants to see you well and will do everything he can so no one hurts you. So… He will feel jealous, of course, and that might never change, but as long as you're happy he will be as well!

As right as Axel may be Ven still felt a little insecure. Still he nodded and smiled.

— Yeah… But I won't tell him right now. Just imagine if he gets mad at me for it! _He's not a good person, Ven!_ — Ventus said in a perfect impression of his brother, now laughing with Axel, and suddenly everything felt very simple. As long as they were happy with each other, everything would be alright.

Axel stayed in their bedroom until the movie was over and then he stood up, adjusting the blanket on Roxas before leaving the room.

"Well, time to go to bed. Goodnight Ven! Oh, and if you need anything or maybe some advice, just talk to me!"

After Ventus thanked him, the redhead went to the guests' room downstairs closing the door behind himself in silence. Ventus then got up and went to the bathroom but not before taking a glance to the two struggle bats that rested near his wardrobe. He smiled to himself, wondering why Vanitas didn't want to keep his one in his own house.

Once he was done, he turned the TV off and picked his cell phone. Now laying on his bed he smiled again, reading his conversation with Vanitas for the last time before falling asleep.

 **Vani** **  
**I'm home! - 9:55 PM

 **Ventus** **  
**Yay :D - 9:55 PM

 **Vani**  
Man, it's so cold. I'll make some coffee - 9:58 PM

 **Ventus**  
Coffee at this time of night? You won't be able to sleep, Vani! - 9:59 PM

 **Vani**  
Relax, I drink coffee everyday at night - 9:59 PM  
Not this late though but still - 9:59 PM

 **Ventus**  
u.u Right - 10:00 PM  
I hope you enjoyed the evening with us... ^-^ - 10:07 PM

 **Vani** **  
**More than I thought I would - 10:10 PM

 **Ventus**  
:3 - 10:10 PM

 **Vani** **  
**What about you? Did you enjoy it? - 10:11 PM

 **Ventus** **  
**I think I won't ever stop smiling anymore - 10:11 PM

 **Vani** **  
**Hahaha - 10:13 PM  
You're so cute - 10:13 PM

 **Ventus**  
-^^- - 10:14 PM  
When can I see you again? - 10:14 PM

 **Vani** **  
**Whenever you want - 10:14  
Except tomorrow morning, I'm going downtown again to try and get some more money - 10:14 PM  
I want to have enough so I won't feel bad for spending it at Disney Town - 10:15 PM

 **Ventus** **  
**Okay :D I'm not going with you tomorrow morning but next time I'll be there o/ - 10:16 PM

 **Vani** **  
**\o - 10:16 PM  
I'm really tired today so I'm going to bed now - 10:30 PM

 **Ventus** **  
**Alright, I'll talk to you tomorrow then - 10:31 PM  
Don't forget you said you'd help me practice for Struggle (Even if we know which one of us is actually the most experienced and all) - 10:31 PM

 **Vani** **  
**Let's see if you'll continue to brag like this when I defeat you - 10:32 PM

 **Ventus** **  
**You can try 8D If you're gonna make it now that's another story - 10:32 P

 **Vani**  
Tch xD We'll see u.u - 10:33 PM  
See you tomorrow, Ven! Sleep well! - 10:33 PM

 **Ventus**  
You too, Vani! - 10:33 PM

In the morning it was Roxas who took the device from his side. The older blonde put it over their desk, put the blanket over his brother with a sigh and returned to bed, his deep breathing joining Ventus'.

* * *

Vanitas woke up a little later than usual, around 6:30 AM, and stretched with no will of leaving the bed. Once he woke up however he could never go back to sleep again and so a few minutes later he was already in the living room, cell phone in hand while the water for the coffee boiled.

The teenager smiled to himself rereading his conversation with Ventus from last night. He felt happy in a way he hadn't felt in a long time and sighed, wondering if Ventus had kissed someone before him. The blonde seemed reluctant at first, but when he kissed him back… Maybe it was because of what he felt for the boy, but Vanitas couldn't remember a kiss that left him this captivated!

"Do you wanna let the water dry, you moron?" His father exclaimed from the kitchen and Vanitas jumped, leaving the sofa and walking to the kitchen to make the coffee. It was still very early in the morning so he had some time to relax before going downtown again to get some more money…

It was then that it hit him: He'd have to tell his father about the trip since they would spend the entire day outside. The problem wasn't exactly how long he would be away from home but to where he would go. If he said it was a trip, Xehanort would want to know where he had got the money from and would do anything in his power to take advantage of that. Vanitas took a deep breath, trying to come up with a good enough excuse so he wouldn't be scolded or worse. After all, he still didn't truly have a job-

"My friends' son is working as manager in a company" The adult said out of nowhere, turning the television on and sitting down to watch "He's your age… And he studied enough so he could get in there as an apprentice"

The way Xehanort seemed to read his mind always made Vanitas shiver. He didn't say a word, getting himself a cup of coffee and leaving the coffee pot on the table.

"He worked towards his goals" His father continued "Unlike you, who wastes your life doing nothing"

Vanitas replied with an _Uhum_ while opening the entrance door but then his father spoke in a louder tone.

"I want you to look at me when I'm talking to you!" He exclaimed, now glaring at the teenager who turned to him unwillingly "Are you looking for a job?"

"Yeah, well, what do you think I do everyday in the afternoon?"

"You waste your time, obviously, since you can't even make coffee without almost burning the house! They're gonna cut off our water supply next week unless we pay the bill and, you know, I should let them! Maybe then you'll finally do something!"

"And what do you do with your money? In fact, how do you even earn your money?"

"That doesn't concern you, boy"

"Of course it does!" Vanitas stared intently at him "According to what you said, they'll cut our water supply. You could have paid the bill with your money plus the amount you stole from m-"

Vanitas bit his lower lips. _Shit._

 **"Stole** from you?" Xehanort stood up but Vanitas didn't move. He had already said what he shouldn't; there was not much he could do now. Xehanort grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him closer, dripping some of his coffee due to the harsh movement, and stared into his eyes "Everything that's in my house belongs to me. If you still don't understand this then be my guest and **leave**!"

Vanitas stared back to him but without the confidence he wished he had. He held his breath.

"Can I put my cup over the sink before you do whatever you want?" The boy asked. If the cup ended up falling and breaking he would be the one who'd clean the mess and it wouldn't hurt to try and avoid at least that.

But Xehanort either didn't listen to him or didn't care, letting him go and striking his face with a strong slap.

"Put that crap on the table" His father said and so he did, wondering what he was going to do next. Xehanort didn't approach him but continued to speak "Since when you forgot the rules?"

"I didn't forget"

"I didn't forget what?" Xehanort insisted, nervous.

"I didn't forget, sir"

"Then what are they?"

Vanitas gulped. He wished he could at least drink his coffee in peace…

"No compl-"

"Look at me!"

Why did he enjoy humiliating him so much? Vanitas turned to the adult, staring at him while as he spoke.

"No complaining. No fighting back. No questioning. No crying. And no… No screaming" Vanitas replied, his face burning with humiliation for repeating those goddamn words. Words he had to repeat day after day since he was a child while he was abused. Worse than being forced to repeat them, however, was to know that the _rules_ went beyond their definition: He shouldn't forget that no matter his mistake he should apologize. And if during a punishment he asked his father to stop then it would only get worse and worse until he couldn't take it anymore.

Xehanort smiled. Vanitas might be an almost adult but he was still dependent to him. He could break the boy again if needed and he knew that, which gave him advantage over anything the teen wanted to do.

"What's the third rule?"

"N… No questioning, sir"

" **Then why did you do it?!** "

Vanitas sighed deeply, now lowering his eyes and watching as his coffee got cold "I'm sorry"

"Tch" Xehanort returned to the living room "Just drink this crap already and go waste your time around. You better have the money until next week, dumb shit"

Silence. The boy drank all of his coffee at once and went to his bedroom, cleaning what was left and changing clothes so he could leave. He definitely needed to get out of there.

He returned to the living room, picked the phone he had left over the sofa (Properly blocked in case Xehanort tried to mess with it) and left, slowly closing the door. Before he started his walk to downtown he unlocked his device and read the message he had just received.

 **Ven** **  
** _Good morning Vani :3_

The raven smiled. That message was just what he needed to follow his way, leaving any bad sensation behind. It was something he could do.

At least for now, it was something he could do.

* * *

After a fairly calm weekend (And a lot of messages sent to Vanitas), Ventus woke up excited for school on monday. He changed clothes quickly and had his breakfast just as quick; he couldn't wait to meet Vanitas at school again! It wasn't too hard to find him, of course, since he was at the same place as usual with a cigarette in hands.

"Good morning, Vani!"

"Good morning, Ven! Roxas" He greeted them, putting the cigarette in his mouth again "You can go ahead, I'll finish this one before I go"

"I'll wait" Said the younger blonde and Roxas nodded, leaving the two alone. Ventus then approached his friend "So, how was your weekend?"

"It was good. I got some more munny for us to spend" He said with a soft smile.

"Awesome! I'm bringing some too, we'll have lots of fun!"

Vanitas laughed, thinking about the trip. They were so close now and he felt a little anxious for it. Still, he couldn't wait to see what the park was like, the most loved among all students of the class and therefore the one chosen for every school trip.

"Why do you smoke?" Ventus asked out of nowhere.

"Uh?"

"I mean… Why did you start to smoke? Was it out of curiosity or did you have a reason to?"

"Hmm..." Vanitas stared to the object in his hands "I guess it calms me down. It helps me concentrate when I'm nervous or worried about something"

"So… Are you worried about something today?" Ventus asked afraid.

"Oh no, I smoke every morning by habit. I always have one at home and then another one when I get here. It's a damn addiction, but well..."

Ventus agreed "Yeah… It's bad for you, you know. Some people even say that who's always close to someone who smokes may suffer more than the smoker himself"

"Yeah. That's why I avoid doing it when I'm with you" Vanitas replied, lowering his hand so the smell wouldn't fully reach Ven. He stood in silence for a while, thinking "Although… There really is something bothering me today"

"What is it?"

"My grades. The second semester is almost ending and the tests are around the corner. If I can't get better now it will be harder by the end of the year. I… I didn't want to fail this year again"

"But you're doing well this semester, aren't you? I don't recall seeing you get a bad grade yet. And you're very intelligent, Vani!"

"But they're not enough. Not enough for an overall final grade which is a problem. And I'm not intelligent, I was just lucky enough to get something better than a 5 in our last few assignments"

"Aw come on, we did super great in Aqua's test, remember? And it was you who wrote most of the answers down! You weren't lucky. You just..."

 _You just have a really low self-esteem_ , he thought without saying it.

"You just need a hand! I can help you if you'd like, we can study together for the next tests and all. I may not be the best student of our class but I think I can do something about it"

"Really?" Vanitas asked with irony, throwing the cigarette away and holding his backpack.

"Yup, that title belongs to Riku. Seriously, have you seen his grades? Always 9, 10, 9, 10..."

"Well… I don't know about Riku, but I think I'll accept your help" The raven said smiling. Ventus blushed but smiled too and then both went for the classroom.

They were already close to the entrance when Ienzo approached them.

"Hey, Vanitas!"

"Ienzo"

"It's been a while since we played chess. What do you think about one match on today's break?"

The older boy thought a little "Did you bring the board?"

"I can ask Xaldin for it!"

"Then it's settled!"

And so, at the moment everyone left the classroom for break later on Ienzo ran to the school board while his friends went to their usual spot. Sora, Riku, Xion, Roxas, Vanitas, Ventus and soon Ienzo, everyone together again. As soon as Ienzo arrived he and Vanitas readied the pieces and started to play while the others watched and gave their opinions on it. They all felt so happy, so relaxed, that an almost nostalgic sensation was felt among them.

When the bell rang Ienzo took a picture of the chess board (Just like Ventus and Vanitas did when they started to play together) so they could continue on the next day. Slowly the students returned to the class already waiting for the end of the morning.

"Hey, Ven" Vanitas called, forcing Ventus to stop walking and turn to him "Here"

He opened his hand before the boy who smiled openly "A Lucky Lucky!"

"I couldn't give it to you in front of everybody since I couldn't buy for everyone" Vanitas explained, putting his hands in his pants pocket. The blonde accepted the candy, happily thanking him and was about to break it in two when Vanitas took another one out of his pocket and laughed.

"Oh! You're prepared today!" Ventus said, biting his candy.

"Of course. This thing is really good" He replied and, walking as slowly as he could, let Ventus enjoy his chocolate before returning to class.

* * *

"Oh my God, this is so boring!"

Vanitas and Sora were sitting on Ventus' bed while he and his brother were on Roxas'. The four of them had decided to start studying that thursday afternoon and began with History but, although Aqua did explain her lessons really well, to study all of it was truly tiring due to how much they had written down. Vanitas, of course, was irritated and bored. Sora shared the feeling, literally laying down on the younger blonde's bed and staring to the ceiling uninterested.

"Oh, stop complaining you two" Ventus exclaimed, turning another page of his book "We still have a lot to read so be patient!"

"Can't we call it a day for now?" Sora asked "How many pages have we seen already? Five?"

"I agree with Sora" Vanitas said and Ventus turned to his brother as if asking for help but this time he was alone.

"We can stop for a while I guess. We'll come back later, Ven" Roxas said and Ventus sighed. Three against one was unfair!

"Okay, fine. We'll stop for a while then… To do what?" He asked with arms crossed.

"I don't know… Play video games? It's been a while since I don't come here, I don't wanna spend the entire day reading and reading" Sora suggested. Roxas stood up immediately.

"Good idea, Sora! I'll turn it on!"

"I was thinking about doing something else" Vanitas said, scratching his head and looking to Ventus.

"What?"

"Struggle?"

The younger blonde widened his eyes. Of course!

"Yeah! Let's go to the backyard" He exclaimed, momentarily forgetting they had to study for their tests and turning to Sora and Roxas "Are you coming?"

"Nah, I'm good" Sora said "Rox?"

"Nope. Have fun" The other blonde replied and so Ventus and Vanitas got up, picked their struggle bats and left the room. The twins' mother was in the kitchen baking cake and smiled to them when they passed by her, warning them to be careful. They both nodded and walked outside.

"Well, I need to know the rules of it first" Vanitas said, smiling with superiority and somewhat of mockery "Only then I'll be able to test your abilities"

"It's simple! We'll face each other in a friendly fight! The first one who falls and is unable to continue loses!"

"Alright then. Show me what you're capable o-" Vanitas frowned "Can you properly swing the bat holding it like that?"

"Ha! Surprised, aren't we?" Ventus joked, his 'weapon' actually being held backwards.

The raven shook his head with a pretentious smile on his lips and prepared himself, his left hand in front of his body and his right hand holding the bat above his head "Let's see what you can do"

And then the two ran against each other! Ventus really was fast and had no problems in attacking Vanitas. Still the raven knew how to defend himself even if not with his bare fists and the two faced one another for a few minutes before they stopped for a moment.

"Is there a rule as to a body part we shouldn't aim for?" Vanitas asked, laying the bat on his shoulder.

"Well… I think there's a ahn… Common sense?" Ventus replied a little embarrassed, making Vanitas laugh out loud.

"Oh my God, I wasn't going to hit you _there_ , Ven!" He said, laughing even more when he saw how red Ventus' cheeks were. The blonde took advantage of his distraction and ran to him again, but he was so embarrassed that he didn't focus enough and Vanitas dodged, hitting his hand and making him drop his weapon.

"Too slow!" The older boy exclaimed in laughter but he barely had time to enjoy his victory and Ventus had already recovered the object and jumped against him, hitting him in the face and making him stumble backwards.

"Ahá-! Oh my God" Ventus gasped and quickly approached Vanitas, who now covered his face with his hand "Sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you!"

"Oh wow..." Vanitas blinked a few times to recover "You really do take this struggle thing seriously, uh?"

"I… I am sorr-"

Ventus widened his eyes when Vanitas hit his hand again, this time grabbing his blue bat in the air and therefore now armed with both of them. He shook his head.

"Tch… You need to learn not to let your guard down. Can't forget I'm still stronger than you, Ven"

"Y… Why you… Há! Not for too long!" The boy exclaimed and readied himself again, challenging Vanitas for another round. They trained for half an hour before stopping, both really tired and dying of thirst.

"Boys, come inside! I made some fresh and sweet lemonade for you!" The mother of the twins called, waving to the two boys in the backyard and speaking loud enough so Sora and Roxas heard it as well.

The five of them joined at the table but Ventus and Vanitas barely spoke, recovering their energy. Once all of them were rested and full they still stood in the kitchen chatting before going back to their studies. Until 5:30 PM the friends studied History and then by the end of the afternoon Vanitas told them it was time for him to leave. He said goodbye, going down the stairs next to Ventus.

"You're welcome to return whenever you want, sweetheart!" Said the woman, waving to them. Vanitas thanked her and left through the door with the blonde.

"Finally friday!" Vanitas exclaimed relieved "And then next week..."

"Disney Town! Yeah!" The younger boy celebrated, jumping excitedly.

Vanitas looked to him for a few seconds in silence before turning his attention to the sky again. This was getting pretty common now; both of them together under the stars shining upon them. It made him feel happy and warm, probably because now he wouldn't have to watch them alone. Ventus, however, wasn't looking to the sky; instead he looked to Vanitas, instigated by his gaze. Thinking about their kiss. Thinking about how much he wanted it again.

He shook his head, putting those thoughts aside and staring to his own feet "Are you going to school tomorrow?"

"Of course!" The raven replied, unsure if she should try something with the blonde. Right here by the entrance of his house didn't seem like a good idea though so he decided to do nothing "See you tomorrow?"

"Yup! See you tomorrow!" Ventus said and Vanitas left. He crossed the street, enjoying the fresh air and the silence throughout his way and was already deciding upon what to do for dinner when he heard quick footsteps behind him.

"Vani, wait!"

"Yes?" He turned to the smaller boy who came running after him.

"I… Well, it's just that..." Ventus stumbled on the words, making Vanitas look to him confused. His expression changed completely the next second when Ventus stood on his tiptoes and kissed his cheek "S… See you tomorrow!"

Ventus turned his back to him, way too embarrassed to stay there, but he didn't have time to leave. Vanitas held him by his hand thus making him turn around to face himself and pulled him closer, not thinking before kissing him again, madly in love with the boy. Although surprised Ventus returned the kiss and let himself go, touching the taller boy's face with care and delight. Vanitas kept him as close as possible, embracing him with both arms and occasionally running his hands over his hair and down his back while smiling. When they stopped, both pulled apart just a little not truly letting go.

"Vani, I-I… I-I like you so much"

"I like you too Ven, so much you have no idea...!"

Both of them blushed but neither looked away. They found what they wanted in each other's eyes and stood there while Ventus caressed Vanitas' face, still safe in his arms. Then they both giggled and smiled, finally letting go and looking to one another with love.

"I'll be waiting for you at the same spot" The raven said, blinking to him.

"O-Okay! I'll meet you there" Ven replied gleefully and Vanitas then took his leave, only this time he didn't think about anything. Anything but how much he liked that boy.

Ventus watched him disappear into the distance and then returned home. On the second floor, Roxas stared to his friend in shock, almost unable to speak, while Sora laughed out loud at him.

Roxas took a deep breath trying to recover. To watch his brother through the window had definitely been a bad idea.


	31. Chapter 31

Ventus was still unsure of when to tell his brother about him and Vanitas. He wanted to wait a while longer to see what would happen between them but now Vanitas said he liked him and that changed everything! He felt _the same_ for him and that, besides making him happy, gave him another reason to finally tell his brother about it.

On that same night then he decided to do it. It was 10 PM and each of them were laying on their respective bed playing around on their cell phones. Ventus waited a few minutes before speaking.

"Rox…?"

"Hm?" Roxas turned to him. He had hidden his shock and mainly his jealousy until now but he still remembered perfectly the way his brother threw himself into Vanitas' arms earlier, how the two had- "What is it, Ven?"

"I… Want to tell you something"

He sat straight, looking to his older brother anxiously. Roxas did the same, waiting for him to speak.

Ventus lowered his gaze "So… Ahn… I… I like Vanitas a lot. I-I told you this once at school, remember?"

"Yeah…?" Roxas said, knowing where this would lead but still pretending to be confused.

"And he… He said he likes me too!"

Ventus smiled and expected his brother to react but the older twin merely blinked a few times, not understanding why he stopped there.

"Oh… Oh, really? That's cool, Ven!" He replied awkwardly. Ventus noticed his apparent lack of interest and questioned whether he should continue or not, staring down to his own hands.

Roxas shook his head. Damn it, what was he doing? Ventus was talking of something important to him, he should make him feel comfortable!

"And what else?" He asked, trying to make his brother tell him more. The boy hesitated a little but ended up giving in.

"And we kissed that day we went to the bakery!" He said at once.

Roxas stared at him for a few seconds with no reaction but then gave him a heartfelt smile as he saw his brother's eyes shining. Ventus relaxed seeing him react that way and smiled too… Then Roxas went deadly serious.

"What do you mean when we went to the bakery?" He asked nervous and Ventus widened his eyes "That was days ago! Why did you tell me only now?"

"Ahhn..."

"I mean, when I kissed Axel I told you right away on the same day! Why didn't you tell me anything?"

"I… I told Axel-"

"You told Axel? You told Axel and you didn't tell me?"

Ventus lowered his gaze again "Sorry…! It's just… It's just I feared how you might react to it-"

"You feared how I'd-...? Ven..." Roxas frowned and then sighed slightly depressed.

"I know you don't like him, Rox. You never wanted us to get closer since the very beginning. I thought… I thought you'd be mad at me, of course I was going to tell you either way but I just wanted to wait for the right time!"

Roxas sighed "Well… He really wasn't someone I wanted you to hang out with. He was always getting into trouble and didn't give a damn about classes. You know that!"

"I know, but he has changed Rox! I wanted you to see that!"

"But I do, Ven!" Exclaimed the older blonde. Ventus frowned, expecting that to end in an argument but it didnt "I know he's changed. Everyone knows… And it's obvious he did it for you!"

Ventus felt his cheeks burn but didn't look away. Roxas continued, scratching his head.

"I realize that… That the reason you didn't come talk to me was because I didn't make you feel comfortable enough so it's my own fault. I'm sorry for that, Ven… I didn't want you to be afraid. You're my little brother, I want you to tell me everything you'd like! I mean, when I kissed Axel you were the first one I told about it because I trust you"

"I trust you too, Rox. Sorry… For not saying anything"

Roxas smiled much more relieved and walked to his brother's bed, sitting next to him. He then crossed his arms and glared at the younger blonde playfully.

"Now that that's out of the way… Only that day at the bakery, uh?" Ventus cheeks reddened even more and he laughed sheepishly, looking away.

"... Today as well"

"Yeah… I saw it"

"You saw it?!" Ventus almost jumped from his bed "Then why all of that drama?!"

"Because I was hidden from you, I wanted you tell me yourself!"

"You… And Sora…?"

"Yeah"

"Oh God" Ventus hid his face in both hands wishing he could disappear and Roxas laughed out loud seeing him like that. It was obvious that he was happy, truly happy, and even if Roxas still didn't feel that okay with Vanitas being around he couldn't ignore how he was making his little brother feel. Still laughing, Roxas caressed the younger boy's head and returned to his bed, stretching himself before speaking again.

"But if he ever does anything to you again, Ven..."

"I'll call you so you can deal with him. Got it" Ventus laughed in a low tone and lay on his bed again, staring up to the ceiling while thinking.

"That's right!" Roxas laughed, covered himself with his blanket and changed the subject so Ven wouldn't feel so embarrassed anymore. The two chatted gleefully before falling asleep and both did so with a smile on their lips.

* * *

That day Vanitas decided not to smoke by his house door; instead, he did it on his way to school. First because his father was in a really bad mood so it would be better to keep his distance. Second because he still didn't know what excuse to give him. He had already falsified his authorization signature a few days ago and until now no one had said a thing... But if he wasn't home by the time Xehanort told him to he would have problems and he didn't want that.

Once he arrived the boy took another cigarette out of his pocket and was about to lit it when he decided to control himself. He needed to stop with that before the consequences became irreversible...

Undeniably depressed even if just a little he sat on the sidewalk and pulled his cell phone from his pocket, scrolling down some silly images while waiting for Ventus and Roxas. Before them, however, Ienzo and Xion walked to him.

Vanitas greeted them and the two sat by his side, talking about the upcoming tests and how they were studying together. He too told them about his studies as well as how he and Ventus were training for struggle and the three chatted for a few minutes before the twins arrived accompanied by Sora.

"Good morning, Vani!" Ventus exclaimed as usual. Vanitas stood up, dusted off his shirt and greeted him back, waving to them and approaching.

"Everything okay with you guys?" He asked and, with no previous warning, held Ventus' hand. The blonde immediately went beetroot but, of course, it didn't even cross his mind to let go of him. On the contrary, he interlaced his fingers arounds the raven's and smiled with flushed cheeks.

"Everything's great!" Sora said and put his hands behind his head. None of their friends said a word about that gesture but discreetly shared glances between them.

Even those who knew about Ventus and Vanitas' friendship noticed how extremely closer they were that day! Their friends and also classmates who barely spoke to them started to shoot glances at the boys and the teachers did so as well. They wouldn't be that surprised if it was only Ven, but Vanitas seemed to be smiling and laughing more as well.

Despite how happy Vanitas felt however there was still his problem at home. As good as he was at hiding things, he surely hadn't forgotten that time was running out. He didn't want to let Ventus know about that since he couldn't raise any suspicions about his father, but he had only a few days to give him an excuse...

Then he gave in. That sunday he decided to tell Ventus about it and asked the boy if he could go to the plaza so they could talk. So around 2 PM Ventus left his house alone, wondering what Vanitas could possibly want to talk about. When he arrived the raven was already there and, surprisingly, he wasn't smoking. Whatever it was bothering the boy probably made him forget the cigarette too.

"Vani!" The blonde sat next to Vanitas, greeting with with a silly smile but then going serious "Are you okay? You said you wanted to talk about the trip but it couldn't be by phone…"

"I'm alright, don't worry. But… Here's the thing..." Vanitas straightened himself against the bench and crossed his arms, staring into nothingness "That signature n our authorization paper for the trip? It wasn't signed by my father"

Ventus frowned when he said the word _father_. There was so much the raven hadn't told him, probably because he didn't want to obviously, but that made him feel uneasy. Vanitas continued.

"I signed it myself because he wouldn't let me go even if I paid with my own money. But… We'll spend the entire day there. I need to to tell something to him, something so he won't suspect that I'm leaving town without his permission"

"Ahn..." Since Ventus was always trying to obey his parents and never hide anything from them he thought it was wrong to do as Vanitas wanted to. At the same time… If he had to hide something from him, that meant there really was something more Vanitas was hiding. His uneasiness deepened.

"Is it really necessary to hide where you're going?"

"Yes" The older teen replied immediately. He clearly didn't want to give him any more details but his answer was definitive and Ven understood that.

"Well… Do you have something in mind? Or nothing?"

"Nothing yet. He'll believe I'm at school during the morning, but after that..."

"Well, you still don't have a job… What if you got a job interview?" Vanitas raised an eyebrow, listening "Let's say you'll be going to this interview in another town… And it's, like, a practical test! One that lasts the entire day!"

Vanitas gave it some thought "A test for what?"

"Maybe… Maybe… To work at at Disney Town! Perhaps something to do with customer services at the park? Something like that."

"Hmmm" The raven went silent, considering that idea. To say he would do something like that certainly would keep his father off his back. And then he could simply tell him he had failed. Happened all the time anyway.

"It's not a bad idea, you know. I'll search for some real job vacancies so I can talk to him about it as well"

"Yeah. He won't stop you of looking for a job… I mean, it seems to be so important for you to have one"

Vanitas smiled to him, satisfied and happy that he didn't ask anything past that. They kept the silence for a few seconds before Ven continued "Was that all you wanted to talk about?"

"Yep. I told you it was no big deal"

"Ah, that's okay then. I was kinda tense" Ventus watched the people walking around the plaza before he spoke playfully "But admit it, you just wanted to see me!"

"Obviously. I wouldn't call you here only to say something and leave" Vanitas replied with a smirk. Ventus raised an eyebrow and stared at him for a few seconds before turning red and looking away. The older boy of course noticed that and laughed.

"What?" The blonde asked.

"You don't need to hesitate like this"

"Hesitate? Hesitate with what?"

"If you want to kiss me just do it. It's not like I would complain, you know" He said, smiling with some malice in his voice. Ventus swallowed; was he really that obvious?

"Ahh… Well, It's that… I… I don't feel comfortable doing that where there's too many people"

"Oh..." Vanitas reached out for his hand, holding it with affection "Do you want to go somewhere else?"

"Somewhere… Else? I-I don't know, I… guess?"

Vanitas watched those blue eyes glowing with innocence. The raven wasn't sure if he was in fact too innocent or if he was just too embarrassed to the point of not admitting what he wanted, but any of those was be enough for him.

The two then stood up, walking down the path to the school which also led to the twins' house. That neighborhood was extremely quiet on weekends and that sunday wasn't different. The teenagers were just walking by the street corner where Vanitas always waited for the boy when he stopped walking and turned to Ventus.

"What is i-" The smaller boy began but didn't finish for Vanitas silenced him with his lips, pushing him slowly and carefully against the wall and letting him lean his back on it. Although surprised at first Ventus didn't take long to kiss him back and Vanitas smiled again, entertained by how the boy now wrapped his arms around him not letting him move away.

Ventus started to run his fingers through Vanitas' black hair. He unconsciously pulled them ever so slightly making Vanitas feel even more excited and so he completely pressed his body against the smaller boy, noticing the heat between them slowly rising with each touch. The blonde opened his eyes to half, noticing that the raven was also looking at him.

Ventus wasn't sure of what he wanted to say or even if he wanted to say something at all. He just wanted to feel more of this. To feel Vanitas close like that.

"V-Vani-"

"Do you want me to stop?" Vanitas asked with calm but Ventus slowly shook his head and pressed his lips against Vanitas' parted ones once again.

And so the black-haired boy closed his eyes and ran his hand down Ventus' body. The blonde shivered and smiled, his subconscious wondering if he should tell him to stop but he didn't want him to stop and Vanitas knew it. He tilted his head to the side a little and closed his eyes again, letting the older boy continue to caress him when Vanitas spoke.

"Had you never kissed before?" He asked, pulling away just enough to look into his eyes.

"No… No one before you" Ventus suddenly looked worried and stared at him as if he had done something but Vanitas smiled with affection, placing his hand under his chin and gently lifting it up.

"Don't be afraid. Just let it go, Ven..."

Vanitas went back to what he was doing and Ventus let him, feeling his tongue now slightly touch his lips and slowly slide into his mouth, urging him to do the same. Ventus focused on what he felt, on how fast his heart was beating and soon let himself be controlled by his this will, both now fighting for dominance in soft and yet intense movements.

When they finally stopped the blonde smiled to him, still catching his breath, and Vanitas smirked.

"Are you sure you've never kissed before?"

"Yeah… I mean, o-of course I am! Why would I lie about that?" Ventus asked, blushing.

"Well… You surely don't seem like a beginner to me" Vanitas replied with a sneer "You can tell me the truth, I won't be jealous nor anything"

"But it's the truth! And… This is your fault, you're the one who makes me feel like this!"

"Like this? Wait, do you mean..." Vanitas laughed and approached him again, whispering against his ear "Turned on?"

Ventus froze and glared at him embarrassed but his eyes confirmed it. Vanitas couldn't stop laughing while looking at the boy who grumbled something and crossed his arms. The raven then put an arm around him and brought him closer as they continued to make their way to his house.

"It's alright. I know I'm irresistible, you can admit it"

"Tch, irresistible? Get real!" Ventus said but sighed in defeat. Once they got to his home they said their goodbyes and the older boy left, leaving a slightly confused Ventus behind.

Damn it. It had been months since he knew Vanitas and he understood his feelings towards him very well, but he didn't think he'd feel… _That_ way today. They had kissed what, two times only? Three now? Wasn't it wrong or hasty to feel this way? Or maybe he was simply thinking too much?

Ventus greeted his parents with a wave and walked to his bedroom where Roxas lay on his bed reading. His brother greeted him as well and turned his attention to the book before looking back to him.

"Your cheeks are pretty red. Are you feeling well?" Roxas asked and Ventus nodded, throwing himself on his own bed.

"Yeah… It's pretty hot outside."

"Was Vanitas with you?"

"Aham"

"Oh okay" Roxas finished, ignoring any kind of connection that could exist between him being with the raven and saying it was hot outside.

Still, while Ventus wasn't sure of what to make out of that sensation, he wouldn't deny he enjoyed it. Actually, he loved it… And that made him blush even more while hiding his face on the mattress.

Ventus spent the next few hours laying there and fell asleep without realizing it. He only woke up later on when his cell phone vibrated. He picked it up to see what it was and smiled with love while replying to the new messages.

'

 **Vani  
** Good evening, Ven - 9:37 PM

 **Ventus** **  
**Hi, Vani :3 - 9:37 PM

 **Vani** **  
**I hope I didn't embarrass you today - 9:38 AM  
I tried to hold myself but I just couldn't - 9:38 AM  
I can't resist to you - 9:38 AM  
Sorry? - 9:38 PM

 **Ventus** **  
**^-^ I felt a little embarrassed but that isn't a bad thing actually. It's just I'd never kissed anyone before - 9:40  
And I've never felt the way I am right know with you - 9:40 PM  
But I would be lying if I said I didn't like it - 9:41 PM

 **Vani** **  
**I see… So you do find me irresistible - 9:42 PM

 **Ventus** **  
**Well… You just said you can't resist to me so I guess I am as well? ;) - 9:43 PM

 **Vani** **  
**Há. Fair enough - 9:42 PM  
Well, like I said today… You don't need to hesitate around me. Just do what you'd like - 9:42 PM  
And tell me to stop whenever you're not feeling comfortable, you know - 9:43 PM

 **Ventus** **  
**Do what I like? Can I tickle you until you can't breathe? - 9:44 PM

 **Vani** **  
**Anything but that :) - 9:44 PM

 **Ventus** **  
**Hahaha - 9:45 PM  
3 - 9:45 PM

 **Vani** **  
**Well then, I'm going to bed. Thank you for helping me today - 9:48 PM  
I'll talk to you tomorrow! - 9:48 PM

 **Ventus** **  
**3 I'll always help you Vani, you know that - 9:49 PM **  
**Okay! Sleep well and see you tomorrow ^-^ - 9:49 PM

 **Vani** **  
**You too! ;) - 9:50 PM

'

Ventus giggled to himself. It was so weird to see Vanitas acting like this, so worried and kind. He seemed to be trying him best to please him and he actually managed to do so. What was funny however was that, although he was pretty calmer around everyone else lately, Vanitas was only that sweet to him. And well...

Ven truly loved that special attention.


	32. Chapter 32

"There's the bus!" It was Xion who exclaimed, jumping with joy when she saw the vehicle turn the corner and stop by the school's gate.

The whole class screamed happy with students pushing one another while trying to stay as close as possible of the bus door. Before that excitement got out of hand however Aqua spoke to them in a loud and serious tone.

"Everyone stand in line so we can go! The longer you take to do this the longer it will take for us to leave!"

Terra was a few meters away from her repeating her instructions. Soon they were all in line, backpacks and lunch bags held closely and everyone ready to go inside. Right at the start of the line were Roxas, Sora and Riku. Next to them was Ventus.

And right next to him was Vanitas!

The blonde didn't hold his joyous scream when Vanitas told him everything had worked out with his father! After they talked about it and the older boy guaranteed there would be no problems with the adult at all the boy celebrated even more and now was all smiles for having the raven next to him.

Roxas and Sora wouldn't stop talking, both euphoric and excited while Riku watched them with a soft smile on his lips. Ventus however couldn't ignore Vanitas' silence.

"Vani? Is everything alright?" He asked even though he knew why his friend was deepening his fingers around his backpack anxiously like that. The day before Vanitas admitted being afraid: That was his first trip with the school in all those years! He didn't know what it would be like and was eager to know but, at the same time, he felt apprehensive.

"Yeah, I'm alright, Ven. Just a little bit nervous"

The blonde smiled "Relax. You'll like it in there! Besides you'll be with us so don't be afraid!"

"He'll like it in there alright but will he enjoy being with us?" Riku asked playfully and gave Sora a little nudge.

"Hey, what do you mean by that?"

Not too much later the driver allowed them to go inside and so they did. One by one the students entered the bus and chose their seats, a constant chatter taking over the vehicle. Ienzo and Xion sat on the left side of the bus, followed by Ventus and Vanitas. On the right side were Sora and Riku with Roxas on the seat in front of them.

Ventus couldn't stop smiling: He loved school trips! Vanitas on the other hand kept his silence; he was on the window seat and right now watched the outside still not believing that, yes, he was going to Disney Town. With his friends!

"What did you bring for us to eat?" Roxas asked Sora and Riku, calling their friends' attention and making Vanitas stop daydreaming. The silver haired boy opened his bag, pulling a sack with a few medium bowls out of it.

"We made a few snacks with bread, ham and cheese. We also brought some sweets and a little bit of money. What about you?"

"Our mom made a chicken pie for us!" Roxas replied happy "And we brought cake too!"

"Ien made a lemon pie!" Xion exclaimed, turning to them and making her friend giggle "I already had a piece of it and, oh my God, it's delicious!"

"Hey, I want a piece of it too!" Sora said.

"I can't risk having you eat it all before we get there, Sora" Ienzo replied with an ironic but whimsical smile. While their friends talked about all the food they were bringing with them Ventus spoke to Vanitas.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes. I'm just... Listening"

"Are you anxious?"

"A little. I wish..." Vanitas looked away for a few seconds "I wish I could smoke right now"

"Do you… Have cigarettes in there?"

"... No. Maybe if I can distract myself enough I'll forget them for a few hours. I thought… I might try that today"

"I know you can make it!" Ventus said and held Vanitas' hand with care, closing his fingers around it trying to make him feel confident "I'll be right next to you so tell me if you're not feeling well or anything like it, 'kay?"

The raven stared to him for a few seconds with slightly blushed cheeks but at last let out a soft smile "Okay"

Once the bus left the chatting tripled and all the students talked and laughed for long minutes. Despite the fun, however, it would take them an hour and a half to get to their destination and soon they all started to feel sleepy. Just half an hour later and all that could be heard were a few students who spoke to each other in low tones while the others enjoyed their rest.

Vanitas lay his head against the window watching the road. He enjoyed that silence, even those low voices he could still hear, and the slow swaying of the bus brought a welcome tranquility to his mind with it. He blinked heavily a few times and was almost falling asleep too when he heard footsteps and turned around to look. Professor Terra was walking towards them.

"Hey! Everything alright around here?" He asked, smiling to Vanitas and also to Ventus who was playing on his cellphone.

"Yes sir!" The blonde replied. Sora and Riku were playing on their portable video game device and Roxas was sleeping. Xion was asleep as well and rested her head over Ienzo's shoulder while he read a book.

"Good!" Terra smiled to them, leaning on the seats and looking down to the front of the bus. Aqua too was asleep and so he was now responsible for the students if they needed something "Have you already gone to Disney Town before?"

"Me and my brother did but it'll be Vani's first time!" Ventus continued and Vanitas nodded, looking at the teacher.

"You must be excited! But also a little bit nervous, I suppose"

"A little, yeah" Vanitas replied awkwardly and Terra smiled to him.

"Aqua and I will be enjoying the rides as well. So if you'd like to stay with us be our guests!"

"Sure! It will be fun!" The blonde replied and Vanitas looked to the teacher again, smiling with gratitude. Terra still spent a few minutes there talking to Ienzo before checking on the other students.

"If you need anything just call me!"

"Thank you, professor!"

Once Terra left Ventus went back to playing on his device and Vanitas ended up watching him without much interest, barely paying attention to what he was seeing on the screen. A few minutes later however Ventus stopped moving his fingers and simply held the cellphone no longer using it.

"Ven…?" Vanitas moved a little bit forward to see the boy's face and confirmed his suspicion: he had fallen asleep. His head was slowing tilting forward and his fingers loosened their grip around the cellphone. Instead of calling him right away, however, Vanitas watched him for a few seconds. He looked so adorable sleeping like this without a worry in the world…

Vanitas took the cellphone off his hand waking him up in the process, but Ventus was so sleepy that he merely stared down to his fingers not understanding what happened. Vanitas then lifted the arm rest between their seats and softly lay his hand behind the boy's head.

"Here" He said, slowly pulling him closer to himself as in showing that he could rest on him. Ventus, without thinking twice and to Vanitas' surprise, made himself comfortable and lay his head over his chest. The raven chuckled when he felt the smaller boy close his fingers over his shirt… Then he smiled and started to caress his head. A few minutes later and he fell into a deep slumber as well.

When the sun was finally high in the sky Vanitas heard the characteristic _flash_ of a camera and slowly opened his eyes trying to see who was looking to them despite the annoying discomfort on his neck. Sora hid his cellphone as soon as he saw Vanitas look to him and then smiled to his friends.

"Are you two coming or what? We've arrived!" He exclaimed! Vanitas blinked tight to wake up but Ventus, at the mere mention of the word _arrived_ , opened his eyes almost completely awake!

The two looked through the window. Right at the entrance they could see the roller coaster and part of the amusement park in the distance. Every student quickly got ready to leave, no one else sleepy due to the euphoria that took over the vehicle, and soon Aqua and Terra were asking them to calm down.

"Come on, everyone, pay attention! All of you will leave the bus and wait for us outside until you're allowed to enter the park. Your backpacks and lunch bags will be checked and then you're free to go!" Terra said with a smile and Aqua continued.

"When it's time to leave both of us will be waiting for you at the entrance staircase. I want everybody here by 8PM or we'll leave without you, uh!" She joked and everyone did as they were told.

Students from other schools where there as well, many buses coming and going and dozens of cars already allocated throughout the parking lot. Vanitas wasn't the only one going there for the first time but even those who knew the place couldn't help but eagerly stare to the entrance.

"Hey Ven, check this out!" Sora said suddenly, his portable video game device in his hand "Me and Riku beat our record at the Command Board! Take a look!"

Ventus smiled, checking the numbers on the screen. A little far from them Roxas approached Vanitas.

"Hey. How are you feeling?" Asked the blonde, trying to get closer to the raven in consideration for his brother.

"Anxious. I want to see what it's like on the inside"

"It gets even better during the night. Do you know about the Nightmare Before Christmas theme?"

"Uh?" Vanitas frowned. He knew nothing about the park and hadn't even searched more about it. Roxas laughed.

"It's like a 'fright night'. The employees dress up for it like monsters roaming around the park. My brother was scared shitless of them when we were younger"

"Really?" Vanitas laughed in a low tone "Good to know"

"If you plan on scaring him be careful though. Once he was so frightened that-"

"Roxaaaaaaaas! " The two jumped and turned around. Roxas smiled hearing Axel's voice… But then went deadly serious.

The redhead was hugging Ventus from behind, smiling happy while tightening his arms around him more and more. The younger blonde, red as a beetroot, was frozen like a statue under his arms, his eyes open wide staring to Sora and Riku not knowing what to do.

"I surprised you, didn't I? Told you I'd manage to come!" Axel asked and kissed Ventus' cheek who shrank under him.

"A-Axel, I-I'm V-Ventus! Ven!" The blonde murmured while the boys before him did their best to hold their laughter. Axel stood silent for a few seconds then turned around and saw Roxas in the distance crossing his arms. Still hugging Ventus, Axel gasped feeling Roxas' sharp stare against his own as if he was about to jump on his throat… And then he saw Vanitas next to him and felt as if death would come for him at any second now.

"Oh… Oh, hi Ven!" He said awkwardly, letting go of the boy and tapping his head before approaching Roxas - ignoring the almost murderous stare of Vanitas - and smiled to the boy "Well… I did surprise you though, didn't I?"

Roxas rolled his eyes but he couldn't be mad at him for that and smiled too, greeting the redhead with a kiss on his cheek. Ventus was still stuck in the same place, watching the movement in front of him until Vanitas walked to his side.

"Shall we?" The raven asked serious and let Ventus hold his arm. The younger boy nodded and, noticing Vanitas was jealous, giggled and walked with him along with their friends.

Everyone was there: Ventus, Vanitas, Roxas, Axel, Sora, Riku, Xion and Ienzo. They went down the staircase, passed through the turnstile and were finally truly inside Disney Town!

There were so many things happening at the same time! They could see the tallest rides in the distance, especially the Free Fall which was closer to them. People of every age walked around talking and playing with each other. Every place was decorated with Disney related themes, as expected, and a few of the park's attractions were people dressed as the characters. Dozens of children took pictures with their beloved characters, everyone happy and anxious for the day that awaited them.

"We always keep our stuff in the lockers" Roxas told his friends "Then when we get hungry we can come and get our stuff"

"Better than carry all this weight all the time I suppose?" Xion said, already taking her backpack off her back and following the twins to the lockers room where each one of them received a key, left their things in and then at last left.

"So… Where are we going first?" Vanitas asked. He was truly fascinated with the place but had no idea where to go just like Ienzo and Xion. Ventus, Roxas and Sora shared glances.

"To the Dark Roller Coaster!" The three exclaimed as one. Every time they went to Disney Town they went straight to that ride. First because they really loved it and second because the line of people usually got too long as the day went by.

Each area of the park was thematically separated according to Disney Movies. Until they arrived to this Dark Roller Coaster they walked through Hercules World (Where the tallest rides were, like the Free Fall and the Ferris Wheel), Monstro's area (Entirely occupied with water-based rides) and Alice in Wonderland World (Focused on illusory attractions such as the mirror room). The one they were going for was at Aladdin's World area where many statues made of fake sand were scattered around the terrain.

Everyone stood in line waiting for their turn and then they understood why it was the _dark_ roller coaster: It was inside a pyramid and therefore literally in the dark. To make things more exciting (Or scarier, depending on the person you ask), every cart turned around its own axis while it moved as well.

"So we're going in pairs?" Xion asked and looked to Ienzo "Let's go together, Ien?"

"Sure! Let's see if this roller coaster really is as good as it seems" The boy said. Axel smiled looking to both of them.

"Well, then let's choose our pairs so we won't take long to get in! Vanitas" He pointed to the raven haired boy "You're coming with me!"

"What?"

"That's right!" The redhead insisted, putting both hands on his waist "Xion is going with Ienzo, Sora with Riku, Roxas with Ventus and you're coming with me! It's perfect!"

Roxas and Ventus looked to each other. That wasn't exactly what they wanted, but…

"What if I don't want to?" Vanitas asked serious but Axel didn't care about his tone of voice and pulled him closer, putting a hand over his head.

"I don't care. You're coming with me and it's settled! You'll see, Vani, you'll love my company!"

The boy glared at him, even more serious "Why is your hand on my head? And... Vani? Who allowed you to call me that?"

"Vani? Who said Vani? I didn't say Vani, Ventus is the one who calls you that! I don't know what're talking about "Axel said hurriedly, putting his hand before himself as a shield and laughing along with the others.

Minutes later they finally reached the end of the line, some of them anxious with suspense and other simply happy for going in. When they were authorized to go through the turnstile they went straight for the ride in pairs as they had decided before.

Vanitas held the safety restraints, waiting. He was quiet but it was obvious he was tense. Axel had played around with him before he didn't at that moment.

"It's your first time on a ride like this one?"

"Yes"

"No wonder you're so nervous. Relax. This things' safety is excellent! Just think about how many people use this beauty every day and every week! It's in perfect condition!"

"And probably worn as well" Vanitas completed without taking his eyes off the front. Axel laughed.

"Dude, just chill. It's totally saf- Oh my God" He held on the safety bars when the cart made a sound warning that it would start to move. Vanitas would've laughed if he wasn't so scared and as soon as the carts started to follow along the trails he wished he hadn't gone there. Soon one could barely see the inside of the pyramid but they could feel they were going up… And up… And up…

"Here we go, Vanitas… Here we goo….!" Axel whispered.

"Shut up!"

"It's now… We'll go down, we'll go down!"

"Shut up goddaaaAAAAAA-

And they went down! Beams of light invaded the place through intentional cracks on the walls but they were going so fast that it was hard to descry anything that was farther than their own nose. Screams of euphoria and despair came from every cart and the air became a mix of voices and laughter. Axel was one of those who laughed.

"This is awesoooooome!" He screamed with every abrupt movement of the ride as they followed the trails and turned around their own axis. Vanitas was still holding himself on the bars before him as if his life depended on it when everything was suddenly engulfed by light; they were on the external part of the trails now, high enough to see a big area of the park.

At that moment their cart turned around on the same time as the one who came before them and they saw Xion holding Ienzo by his arm while screaming desperately. Better than Xion's face however was Ienzo's, more shocked with her reaction than with how fast the ride was. When Vanitas saw that he couldn't hold it and laughed out loud, throwing his head backwards as they proceeded. Axel joined him and by the end of the ride they were both completely relaxed and loving all of that noise.

Each pair left the ride as fast as they could so they wouldn't delay the others but Xion had her legs wobbly so Ienzo let her hold onto him while they walked. All of the adrenaline was news for her but soon the girl was back to being herself.

"What did you think, Vani-?" Ventus started but saw Vanitas and Axel having a fit of laughter and smiled, leaving them behind. Roxas accompanied him.

"I think we lost them, Ven"

"Damn" The younger blonde laughed.

Beyond the Dark Roller Coaster was the famous Pirate Ship, only this time it was customized as a spaceship from Lilo and Stitch. The teens went there next, glad the line of people wasn't as long… And it was there that they met their teachers.

"Hey there" Terra greeted them with a wave of his hand as they approved. Aqua did the same and smiled to her students.

"Aqua, oh my god" Xion started, a hand over her chest "Did you guys go to the Dark Roller Coaster?"

"Not yet. Why? Is it good?"

"Then don't!" The girl exclaimed, ignoring her friends' laughter "I almost died!"

Aqua laughed too, crossing her arms "Oh, come on, Xion. There are too many places here for you to go to yet, you can't die right at the start"

"Ah, don't worry, teacher. Ienzo is taking good care of her" Sora said with a giggle and Riku nodded, putting a hand on his waist.

"Yeah, Sora knows how Xion feels. He too screamed all the time"

"I was screaming with excitement, of course!" Retorted the boy and everyone smiled, always alert to the line. While waiting for their turn Terra and Aqua finally truly meet Axel and it didn't take long for the adults to join their students in their excitement.

"Hey, Vanitas" Axel said a few minutes later "I doubt you'll sit on the last row of seats in the front"

The raven stared to him and then to the ship. Of course the farthest seat got the highest once the ship moved. He could even see the mess his hair would become once they left that thing.

"What's in it for me?

"My respect. You'll have proved your bravery. I mean, Ventus said you're brave but I haven't seen any signs of that yet"

Axel smiled, seeing determination shining in the other's eye. He only needed to include Ventus in it and the magic happened.

"Then you'll see it. Here and now"

"If you don't give up until it's our turn that is" Axel joked and crossed his arms. Next to them, Riku and Sora had their gleaming eyes on the ride and heard their conversation.

"Hmmm… You know what, Sora… That sounds like a good idea"

"What?"

"I challenge you to do the same! To go on the seats that frame the edge, right next to me"

"What?! No way! I don't have to show any bravery to you" Sora retorted, trying to take that idea out of Riku's mind but the silver haired boy laughed in a way that made clear he'd have to go anyway. Vanitas turned to them.

"What's that, Sora? Are you afraid of heights?"

"Eh?! Now you want me to go too? Na-ah!"

"Come on, Sora" Roxas spoke, crossing his arms like Axel "Are you seriously scared?"

"Yes I am! So what?"

To Sora's bad luck the seats in the middle of the ship were immediately occupied and the only ones left were the ones he didn't want to sit on. Terra let his students go first and gave Sora a light tap on his back when he passed by him.

"Looks like you lost this time, Sora"

"Even our teacher is against me? That's so unfair!"

No matter how much he grumbled there there was no running from this and Sora then sat next Riku, Ienzo, Roxas and Aqua while Ventus, Vanitas, Axel, Xion and Terra sat on the other side. Everyone made themselves comfortable before holding onto the bar in front of them.

"It mustn't be that high" Xion whispered trying to convince herself of that. Axel, who was sitting next to her, chuckled.

"Of course not. Just 10 meters more or less"

"Don't exaggerate!" She exclaimed, wondering if they would really get that high and starting to get nervous again. Vanitas looked to Sora on the other side of the ride, laughing at the boy without realizing Ventus was looking to him.

"There's a shop near the entrance where we always go to after lunch. I'd like to take you there" The blonde said suddenly.

"Yeah? What shop?"

"Surprise!" He replied seconds before the ride started. Everyone held themselves due to the movement that started slow but got faster with each second and Xion let go of the bar to hold onto Axel.

"Axel, help!"

The young man laughed "Calm down, Xion! Enjoy the ride, come on!"

"No, I'm going to fall!" She exclaimed. Vanitas had his teeth closed together, his black hair fluttering on his face, and when he looked to Ventus and saw how his blonde one was even messier he laughed.

"Help?" Ventus said smiling and then the ride reached it maximum altitude! Cheers (and screams, mostly Xion's) filled the ship. With each swing Roxas put his arms above his head and shoute with enthusiasm and Axel did the same, one looking to the other. Xion still hadn't let go of his, her eyes closed, and Aqua and Terra were thankful for the strong wind that hit their faces which reminded them they were having a day off.

"Put your arms up, Vanitas!" Terra shouted suddenly.

"What? No!"

"Come on, Vani!" Ventus insisted and used what little time they had before they went down to tickle him, making him let go of the bar.

"Stop th-" His voice joined the others' when they went down again, now with his arms above his head too. When they all finally started having fun instead of feeling tense the ride slowed down for good and they sighed sadly, except for Xion who let outa loud and clear _Thank God!_. When the ship finally came to a stop they left the ride, everyone with their legs slightly trembling.

"See? It wasn't that bad!" Riku said and Sora glared at him with an irritated look but said nothing.

Axel turned to Vanitas "Alright, you're really brave. I'll leave you alone then, you earned it"

"Finally!" Vanitas exclaimed in a playful tone and left Axel's side to stay next to Ventus, holding him by his hand. Axel hugged Roxas just like Riku and Sora, Xion held Ienzo by his arm and Terra and Aqua held hands. The eight students plus their teachers resumed their walk now going to other areas of the park and they did so until it was lunch time.

"Did you bring something to eat?" Ienzo asked the adults hours later while going to the lockers room.

"No, we usually buy food in a restaurant from here. Are you going to eat now?"

"Why don't you stay with us?" Ventus asked, looking to his friends "We brought a lot of stuff, you can eat with us!"

"Yeah" Vanitas nodded and looked to Terra, unsure of what else to say. It felt so… Amazing to be there having fun with their own masters and he, just like the others, would be glad if they were with them.

"It's true, we've got a lot of food!" Riku confirmed and, even if the adults wanted to leave before, they couldn't ignore that many students expecting their presence. That way, minutes later they were all sitting by a water fountain sharing what they had. Sora pulled the medium bowl out of his backpack.

"Here it is!" He said, offering his bread with ham and cheese to his friends and Roxas did the same with the pie and cake he and his brother brought. Xion gave each of them small soda bottles (Glad she had brought more 'just in case'!) while Ienzo too shared the pie he made. When everyone had eaten, Vanitas pulled his own backpack closer.

"Guess it's my turn" He said and pulled a plastic bag out of it, opening it and letting Ventus see what was inside. He smiled from ear to ear.

"Lucky Luckys!"

"For everyone" The raven added, giving him the bag "Go on, you can share it"

"Awesome!"

When the blonde gave the chocolates for everyone he once again sat next to Vanitas and gave him back his plastic bag, opening his own candy and smiling to him.

"I'm so happy you're here!" Ventus said and even those who weren't paying attention to them stopped for a moment to see Vanitas' reaction. The older boy blushed immediately and smiled back, running his fingers through his dark hair.

"So am I, Ven"

Aqua and Terra shared a lovely glance; Ventus wasn't the only one happy that Vanitas was there.

When they were all ready to go the students returned their backpacks to the lockers and went to Monstro's area. It was the perfect spot since it was really hot now and so they truly enjoyed the water attractions. There Xion truly had fun and together, she and Aqua, made sure to throw as much water on the boys even as they tried to escape from them.

Ventus had never seen Vanitas so excited like he was that day. He was relaxed, talking with everyone and joking around like he had never done before. The smaller boy couldn't stop looking to him, loving how radiant he was and deeply in love with that smile that wouldn't dare to leave his lips. Vanitas, of course, thought the same of him and felt really lucky for having Ventus with him.

"Hey" The raven started once they left another ride "You said you wanted to take me somewhere… Where?"

"Oh yeah! Sora!" Ventus turned to his friend "We gotta go to the Moogle Shop!"

"Oh, you're right!" He grabbed Riku by his arm "Come on, let's go before it gets dark!"

"Moogle Shop?" Axel questioned and saw Roxas sigh and facepalm next to him "What's in there?"

"You'll see! Come on, come on! Xion, you'll love it in there!" Ventus continued, so excited that he left running before the others. Sora and Xion immediately followed him and soon everyone was running to reach their friends.

The Moogle Shop was at the center of the amusement park. It was a very big shop with all kinds of products, from child toys to shirts, posters and games. Ventus, of course, always walked straight to the plushies section, freaking out while seeing and picking as many as he could in his arms.

Sora went to the clothing sectio since every time he went to the park he bought something for himself. He fell in love with a shirt of The Lion King, specifically one where the character Simba wore a King's crown.

"Riku, look!" He put the shirt before his body to see if it fit "What do you think?"

"It'll look great on you, Sora" The teen replied and Sora, now blushing slightly, laughed as he turned to the clothes again.

"Let's find something for you now!"

"Nah, there's no need to. I've got too many shirts at home"

"But Riku-"

"Sora!"

"So you're taking something else then! Let's take a look around!" The boy insisted, searching the shop while his friend followed him.

Vanitas looked to everything, more curious than actually willing to buy something. There were so many things there that he actually felt kind of lost so he just watched for some time while his friends and teachers walked from one side to the other. He was simply wandering around without a goal when he felt something being put on his head and jumped.

"Teheeee, you look so cute!" Ventus exclaimed and Vanitas immediately moved his hand to his head. Were those… Mouse ears?

"What's this, Ven?"

"Mickey Mouse ears! Every character has their own, even Goofy, and there's also Donald's hat, come se- Ahh don't take it off!" He complained when Vanitas went for it.

"Of course I'll take it off. I'm not going to walk with ears around!"

"But they're just toy ears"

"A mouse's ear"

"Mickey Mouse's! Not a mouse, it's _the mouse_ "

"Oh my God, you look adorable" Said a third voice; it was Axel but he wasn't talking to Vanitas; He was talking to Roxas!

"Axel, please-" The blonde stared to his partner who too had put the same ears on his head, clearly mimicking Ventus.

"Relax! I'll wear one too!" The redhead put Goofy's ears on his own head and went to look himself in the mirror "Wow, I'll so beautiful. Hyuck!"

"Oh my God" Roxas exclaimed and Vanitas, caught off guard with that, barely noticed as Ventus dragged him across the shop.

"I want to show you a plushie! It's the cutest, you have to see it-!" Ventus repeated endlessly and any discomfort Vanitas felt with those damn ears was gone. Of course, plushies. They were what the boy liked the most after all.

Xion was also there, hugging a Paopu Fruit while looking for other things. Still holding Vanitas' hand so he wouldn't run from him, Ventus smiled from ear to ear when he found what wanted.

"Look how cute he is, aaaaa, he's got a small cape and looks like a furball, awwww" The blonde picked the stuffed animal in his arms and hugged it tightly. It looked like some kind of anthropomorphic cat with a small purse on its neck, gray fur with dark gray stripes and blue little eyes. There were many of them and a few variations too which had purple fur, dark stripes and red eyes. Next to them Xion now held two other plushies, two long creatures with what looked like zipper in their mouths and an unique symbol on their heads.

Vanitas stopped next to him, watching as he squeezed the thing "You really like those, don't you?"

"I love them! And I didn't even show you all the ones I have back home!" Ventus said excitedly and held the plush next to his face, booping the cats' nose with his own. On its tag the name: _Chirithy_.

"Where is this from?" The raven asked, his attention now on the dozens of other toys piled on the shelves. Ventus widened his eyes and even Xion stared to him with her mouth ajar.

"You don't know Kingdom Hearts?" The girl asked before Ventus could.

"Doesn't ring any bells…"

"Oh my God, you must!" Xion continued and approached her friend with the two dusks "It's a very very famous Disney Cartoon where Mickey, Donald and Goofy must travel the worlds and save them from the forces of darkness!"

"Mickey?"

"King Mickey!" Ventus corrected her and both told Vanitas about the famous Kingdom Hearts while searching around the shelves. Ventus didn't let go of Chirithy not even for one second while they were there.

"Why don't you take him?" Vanitas asked.

"Oh no, I just want to stay with him for a while"

"Why?"

"No reason. It's just that I already have too many plushies back home"

Vanitas frowned but didn't say anything, thinking to himself. Didn't Ventus have money to buy it? He couldn't think of another reason for the boy to leave it behind since he wanted it so much… And yet he had helped him with all those odd jobs so he could be there today. Vanitas sighed and automatically moved his hand to his head to take the ears off when Ventus turned to him once again.

"Ahhh, don't-!"

"I won't wear this all the time, Ven!" Vanitas replied but as soon as he took it off Axel walked to him.

"Leave that there, boy! You're Mickey now, get into the mood. See? I'm Goofy!" He said and when the others saw that he was actually wearing Goofy's ear they started to laugh out loud.

"We need a Donald!" Xion said, running to Ienzo (Who was all by himself checking the books of the shop) and grabbing him by his hand.

"Xion, what are yo-"

"Axel, get Donald's hat for me!"

"Eh? I don't want to be Donald!"

"Leave it to me!" Axel replied, helping Xion while their friends laughed at the boy's face.

While they all worked to turn Ienzo into Donald ("Why are you doing this to me?", he screamed) Ventus spent some more time looking to the stuffy toys with Vanitas. That whole area was dedicated to this Kingdom Hearts cartoon where Mickey, Donald and Goofy joined Keyblade Wielders to save the worlds. Ventus recognized all the monsters; there were the Shadows, the Scrappers, the Dusks… He stopped looking to them when he noticed Vanitas grabbing one.

It was a-

"Flood!" Ventus exclaimed and only then he realized "Was that the Flood you had as a child? It didn't even hit me that it was a Flood from Kingdom Hearts!"

That Flood was a purple one. Ventus always found them cute with their triangular heads and small red eyes. Vanitas was holding it with both hands as if it was a puppy and now stared to it with his mouth slightly open, as if surprised or fascinated. Or both.

He felt the urge to cry.

"... I didn't even know it belonged to Disney" Vanitas whispered, checking every detail of the plush. He swallowed hard and deepened his fingers around the small creature "They are… Villains, is that it?"

"There are many enemies in Kingdom Hearts. We have the Heartless, the Nobodies and the Unversed. Little Flood there is an Unversed"

"What do the Unversed do?"

"Well, they're… Mickey, Donald and Goofy's enemies. If I'm not mistaken they represent negative emotions and feelings"

Vanitas let out a depressing sigh. What a coincidence.

"Was yours like this one?" Ventus continued, not letting Vanitas' reaction go unnoticed.

"No, mine was blue… I think I might still have him somewhere…"

Vanitas seemed to be so focused in thoughts and memories that Ventus decided not to say anything for now. The blonde let his friend think as much as he wanted to, not interrupting him for anything. What he didn't know was that Vanitas wanted it to stop, stop that continuous flow of memories he always tried so hard to avoid.

He was three years old when he got his plushie…

After everyone paid for the things they bought they walked out of the Moogle Shop and Ventus was so entertained talking that he didn't realize Vanitas was still inside. When he was about to go back, however, Xion told him to wait.

"Relax, he'll be coming soon" She said with an adorable smile. Ventus stared to his friend without understanding but soon Vanitas came after them. Before they could resume their walk however the raven asked Ventus to wait.

"Close your eyes"

"Okay!" The blonde agreed without thinking twice and the raven giggled, opened his backpack and picked what he wanted.

"You can open them now"

As soon as the blonde did it he gasped! Vanitas was holding a Chirithy before him and kept it really close to his face as if the small thing was directly staring to him. When Ventus hesitated Vanitas continued.

"It's yours!"

Ventus opened his mouth in shock and before he knew it he threw himself on the older boy, holding Vanitas and the stuffed cat at the same time.

"Ahhhhhhh, he's so cute! Thank you, Vani, thank you, I love it so much, it's so adorable-!" Ventus repeated many times, tightening his hug every time he said it. Vanitas could barely move!

"You're gonna break me in half!" Exclaimed the older boy when he heard his back crack and his face turn red. Ventus apologized and picked the cat, squeezing him in his arms again and holding Vanitas by his hand.

"He is the cutest! Just like Flood!"

Vanitas smiled with care "Just like Flood"

Around 5 PM it was already getting dark and the nocturnal attractions would start at 6:30 PM. At that moment Terra and Aqua took their leave - They went back to the entrance since it would soon be time to leave - while the students went to the center of the park for the closing presentation.

That said, soon the fright night started and many different monsters were walking around, playing tricks and scaring people. For the first time Ventus didn't even flinch around them. Maybe because he had Vanitas by his side.

Time passed by faster than they wanted it to and it was 7:30PM when the final presentation began at the center stage. The place was crowded though and it was hard to find a good spot with a nice view among so many people. Still, Ventus and Xion sneaked to the front since they were smaller while Vanitas and Ienzo remained behind, Sora with Riku and Roxas with Axel. Vanitas had no idea of what was going to happen there but soon a woman walked to the stage and started to sing.

Vanitas didn't recognize any of her songs but that didn't stop him from enjoying them. The sensation of being there with the others was amazing! The people, the rides... The jokes, all the laughter and all the screams of joy-

He smiled to himself. That had been the best day of his life!

Suddenly the spotlights' colors started to become softer and warmer, changing between blue and green tones and giving everyone a feeling of peace. The ones who knew which music she was going to sing now cheered. The ones who didn't know were surprised with such a sweet and peaceful melody.

.

 _When you walk away, you don't hear me say_

 _Please, oh baby, don't Go_

 _Simple and Clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight_

 _It's hard to let It go_

.

Vanitas paid attention to the lyrics, observing how the people were moved by its rhythm. He looked to Ventus standing a few meters from him and noticed he was calling for him, telling him to get closer.

.

 _You're giving me too many things lately_

 _You're all I need. You smiled at me and said:_

.

The raven's cheeks turned red and he started to walk to him as fast as he could through the crowd. There was something in that boy which made him feel unique. Different, in a good way. He wanted to see him smile again.

.

 _Don't get me wrong, I love you_

 _But does that mean I have to meet your father?_

 _When we are older you will understand what I meant when I said_

 _'No, I don't think life is quite that simple_ '

.

Not only that. He wanted to be the one to make him smile! God, he had never felt this way before but he would do anything for Ventus to always be exactly who he was now. He would do anything to make him happy.

Vanitas reached him.

.

 _When you walk away, you don't hear me say_

 _Please, oh baby, don't Go_

.

Vanitas hugged him from behind, lay his head on his shoulder and giggled seeing him still holding the Chirithy and smiling back. Ventus leaned against him, relaxing in his embrace and singing softly. They enjoyed the music together, felt every emotion it had to give them and Vanitas felt whole as he joined Ventus' pure and sweet voice to sing with him.

.

 _Simple and Clean is the way that you're making me feel tonight_

 _It's hard to let It go_


	33. Chapter 33

**Author's Notes:** **Long chapter to make up for the lack of updates! Thanks for your patience! Also, it might be a good idea to check the trigger warnings at AO3 ^^**

* * *

The bus stopped at the entrance of the school around 10 PM. After such an amazing but long day, it was only natural for the students to be tired and so when professor Terra told them they had arrived everyone slowly but thankfully left their seats.

Many of the students' parents and familiars were already there waiting for them. Even was one of them and he thanked his fellow coworkers before taking Ienzo and Xion to his car. Sora and Riku soon left as well, leaving only Ventus, Roxas and Vanitas behind.

Ventus was still holding Chirithy close to his chest, a tired but happy smile spread across his face. He knew Vanitas was tired as well and yet it felt so good to see him calm and relaxed like this. The blond held his hand, looking to him.

"Did you enjoy the trip?" Ventus asked.

"Yeah. It was... Amazing"

"I knew you'd love Disney Town!"

"I did love Disney Town. The park itself isn't what made today a great day though"

Vanitas smiled and looked to the shorter boy next to him, making Ventus blush and tighten his grip around his hand. He always felt good being this close to the older teen but today was special. Today he could actually feel Vanitas' joy wash over him and to see him happy like this was worth anything they would yet have to face.

Once the twins' parents arrived Vanitas tried to make them go without him but they refused to leave him all by himself. A few minutes later then they arrived to his neighborhood and, as much as he tried to dissuade them from seeing exactly where he lived, the adults insisted to at least take him to his street. Vanitas imagined that as long as there was no car at their house entrance he would be fine and so he smiled when they waited for him to go inside a few meters from his door. At least his father wouldn't be able to question him about who they were...

When he entered his house Vanitas took a deep breath, checking for any noise that could tell him where his father was. And the noise was right there: A loud snoring coming from the man's bedroom. Feeling a little relieved, Vanitas went to his own room, picked a very comfy clothing to wear and walked into the bathroom.

The teenager smiled under the water, thinking about everything they did during the day. He felt so well, so happy that he actually started to wonder if all of that had actually happened.

Once he returned to his room he threw himself on the bed, taking a deep long breath before he picked his cellphone and turned the internet on...

And there were so many new messages! Apparently everyone had taken pictures at the amusement park - Even if hadn't seen anyone doing it - because there were so many photos! There was Xion with Aqua, Sora and Riku, even Terra and himself talking in the background. He chuckled through all of them and even laughed remembering every moment they spent together. The moment he finally saw the picture Sora had taken of him and Ventus sleeping on the bus he received a new message.

.

 **Ventus**

 _I loved to spend the day with you!_

 _You have the most beautiful smile I've ever seen_

 _I hope I can see it more times! ^-^_

.

And then Ven sent a picture of himself. He was wearing his green pajamas, hugging his newest plushie and waving to the camera, eyes as shiny as they had been the entire day.

Ventus' happy face could only mean that he had truly loved Chirithy! To see Ventus like this filled his heart with joy and Vanitas giggled to himself like a young boy. Both of them knew they were more than friends by now and honestly there was no point in denying that anymore so he simply embraced those feelings and let himself be, staring to the picture with a silly smile.

After the trip Ventus got even more comfortable around Vanitas. He loved to play with his dark hair, to lay his head on his shoulder, to kiss his cheeks and see him getting flustered and pretending to be irritated. Sometimes he kept it all to himself, especially when they were around his parents, but even the adults knew the boys weren't just friends anymore and were just waiting to be told about it.

Vanitas, of course, loved whenever Ventus was close to him. He missed him after school and wished they could spend more time together which, even after all this time, was still surprising to him. He had never dated someone before, simply because he never felt anything strong enough that made him want to be with someone else. In fact, _being with someone_ usually only meant to talk a little, have sex and then leave. No feelings involved, nothing but a purely carnal desire. Back then that was good enough for him.

With Ventus, however, it was different. He could no longer imagine how life would be without him. He could not even remember what it felt like before he met Ventus! What would he be doing right now if they hadn't become friends? What would he be feeling-

 _You know exactly what you would be feeling right now._

A dark memory suddenly clouded his thoughts. Back to the first day of that year he knew what was going to happen. He knew where he would be right now and he knew it because he was determined to do something. He was determined to…

 _Don't lie to yourself. You still want to do it._

Vanitas put a hand over his face, trying to keep that away. Yes, he knew exactly what and how he was going to do it but that didn't matter anymore. He hadn't done anything. He was here after all.

 _But for how long?_

He looked to the Wayfinder Ventus had given him, carefully placed on his bedside table… And that annoying but well known voice spoke to him again, his subconsciousness telling him ( _reminding him_ ) that sooner or later he would be left alone again. He shook his head but then the thoughts came, one after the other, unstoppable as they always were. He stood up, decided to get something to eat so he would forget about that, but then he remembered the trip.

The plushies.

Feeling terribly uneasy Vanitas didn't leave his room. Instead, he walked to his wardrobe and opened it. He didn't even have too many clothes and it was still a mess! Despite the very bad organization however, what he was looking for was right there staring back to him: A reasonably large brown box, hidden deep inside.

He pulled it out, running his hand over it. It was so old; how long had it been there, forgotten by the time?

The teenager opened it, shocked at how much dust was inside as well. The first thing he saw was a very small box and he knew what was inside: His old guitar picks, kept as a reminder that one day he'd be able to play guitar again... A green folder with drawings he made when he was a child... Books, a dictionary, a few old pencils... So many useless stuff he didn't know why he hadn't throw away. What Vanitas was really looking for, however, was beneath all of that, and when he saw it there was a lump in his throat as endless memories took over his mind.

His blue plushie. His Flood.

It took Vanitas a few seconds of silence before he could bring himself to pick it up. He held it with both hands just like he had held the purple one back in Disney Town, and stared to it intently. It was so old that the livid blue color he remembered looked much more like a greyish blue now. There were stains all around its fabric, acquired throughout the years it was left to rot in there. Its red, tiny eyes however were the same as he remembered. Vanitas took another deep breath and that was when he started to tear up.

That toy had been the closest thing to a friend and a partner he had had for a long time. A gift he got when he was 3 years old. Its arms were small now but they were the same arms he'd put around his neck to feel like he was being embraced. Vanitas would talk to him, tell him stories and pet him as if trying to give him the love he never received.

It could've been just that. Just a deep love that any child feels towards a toy they really like. But once his mother left and his father started to hurt him the plush became his only haven. It was Flood who listened to him every day when he cried. It was Flood to who he asked why daddy was so nervous with him. It was Flood who was with him that dreadful night when Xehanort entered his room, drunk and disoriented, and locked the door, held him against his bed and-

Vanitas hugged the plushie, suppressing his sobs against its small head, anxiety taking over him. He started to stroke the Flood's head automatically just as he did when he was a child, only this time he knew it couldn't feel anything and, worse of all, it couldn't help him in anyway. Vanitas bit his lips and held back his sorrowful cry as best as he could, his mind overwhelmed with more memories than he could take.

"Poor little one… You've seen too many things, didn't you?" He asked in a whisper once he pulled away from Flood, letting himself just stay there with the plushie in his arms. After a few minutes of shaking and crying the teen stood up and naturally put the plush on his bed before laying next to it. He stared to the ceiling and forgot about everything else while thinking in silence, his appetite completely gone. Only a few minutes later he did the one thing that his younger self wished he had done years ago.

He locked the door.

* * *

Vanitas was silent on his bed, snuggled under his blankets, arms around his pillow while he lay on the plushie he had pulled closer to himself during the night. Having cried himself to sleep he felt exhausted and his body barely moved as if he had passed out. Therefore his cellphone rang many times before he finally woke up mumbling, annoyed at himself for forgetting to turn the damn alarm off, and reached for the device over his bedside table. It took him a few seconds to truly open his eyes and then he realized that was no alarm but a call. He answered without even seeing who it was.

"H… Hello?"

"Vani, where are you?" Ventus sounded desperate. Vanitas blinked tight.

"Ven…? Where-?"

"The Struggle is today! We've got 20 minutes before it begins, everyone's here!"

The teen shot his eyes open, waking up instantly. Struggle? Today? 20 minutes?!

"I'm on my way"

Vanitas literally jumped out of his bed, throwing the blankets to the side and running to the bathroom. He threw as much water as possible on his face, brushed his teeth and ran back to his room to change his clothes.

Shit, shit, shit! He hated to wake up late, mainly because he always felt like crap without his morning coffee. He combed his hair but it would look like a mess once he got there anyway and so he didn't even waste any time to check himself on the mirror. He wouldn't know if his father heard him leaving until he came back, but that didn't matter at the moment so Vanitas opened the front door and didn't even lock it before rushing to the sandlot.

The place was crowded! There were people from all ages and the majority of them was there only to watch the event. Vanitas rubbed his eyes, walking by the people while trying to find someone he knew.

"Vanitas! Over here!" A known voice called; it was Xion and she waved to him, Ienzo and Sora by her side.

"Hey" He greeted them, feeling as if he had been run over by a car. He felt so tired and very stressed, angry at himself when he remembered why he had had trouble sleeping. He hid his face in both hand, aware that he was sweating and his head was aching. Such a perfect way to start the day.

"Ventus and Roxas are there and Ven has your bats. Riku couldn't come though" Sora said, pointing to their friends a few meters from them and closer to the platform whee the contestants would face each other soon. Vanitas thanked them and walked to the twins, breathing as slow and deep as he could as if to regain his composure.

"Vani, you're here! Finally!" Ventus exclaimed once he got close but then frowned when he saw his expression.

"You look like you just sucked a lemon dry" Roxas said with his hands in his pockets "You good?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Ven, why didn't you remind me of this?" The raven asked, scratching his head in irritation.

"But I did! I sent you a message yesterday at night, didn't you see it?"

Vanitas said something under his breath but it was obvious he hadn't. Ventus then rolled his eyes, gave his and Vanitas' bats to his brother and walked to him, holding him by his hand.

"Come here"

"Where are you going?" Roxas asked, eyebrows raised.

"I'll just get some medicine for this grumpy face here. Be right back!" Ventus replied and stared to Vanitas while dragging him away from his brother. The older boy grumbled again but didn't have enough time to complain for they soon reached a coffee machine properly put there for the event.

"Here, pick an extra strong for you" Ventus said, pulling some munny out of his pocket and giving it to Vanitas. He wouldn't say anything for now but he knew something was wrong. Was Vanitas... Crying before getting there? "No need to pay me later"

"Tch" Vanitas turned his attention back to the machine, putting in the money and waiting for his drink while Ventus waited in silence. The moment the well known taste of coffee slid down his throat Vanitas let out a very relieved sigh and instantly felt his muscles relax. It was almost scary how dependant of coffee he was.

Ventus noticed his immediate change with arms crossed and laughed "Now I know what to do when you're angry"

"What?"

"Make you some coffee, of course!" Ventus said and Vanitas tried to hide his amused smile to no avail.

"Yeah… That would work, actually"

Ventus giggled and walked to him, noticing how his mood seemed to be improving already. The blond was ready to pull him into a hug but the moment he stretched his arms towards him someone pushed him and he fell against Vanitas, what was left of his coffee falling over the raven's shirt and splashing on Ventus' face, the cup falling on the floor. The blond quickly regained his balance, his surprise rendering him unable to speak for a second, but before he could even apologize to Vanitas he heard a voice behind them.

"Oh my God, I'm sorry!"

He turned around and instantly gritted his teeth together as Max smirked to him.

"I didn't see you there… Ventus, isn't it? Ven! I didn't see you, I'm so sorry"

Vanitas tightened his fists and Max's grin grew wider. He would have bothered the raven anyway but seeing those dark circles under his eyes only made it all the more entertaining for him. Ventus spoke.

"Don't you have anything better to do?"

Max laughed and walked past them, staring into Vanitas' eyes instead of facing the blond "No, I don't. Besides, you really look like you need that extra energy to get into the mood. I mean, Julius will be here soon. I told you he needed a new punching bag, didn't I?"

"Why you-" Ventus continued but this time Vanitas didn't move an inch. That didn't stop him from deepening his nails in his palms however, trying to remind himself that he should not do anything here. Not today. And especially not against someone who could target Ventus because of him!

"It's okay, Ven" Vanitas said and put a hand on Ventus' shoulder. Although the blond might not want to actually hurt the other boy, Vanitas didn't want him to be bothered by him either "It's just coffee. I'll clean this up later"

Max laughed "Might as well use that shirt to wipe the floor"

Neither of the boys said another word. They just glared at him, waiting for him to leave and he finally did, leaving them behind with a bitter taste in their mouths, the coffee spilled on them and on the floor.

"Vani..." Ventus started but was quickly interrupted.

"Don't worry about it. He won't do us harm here"

"... I know he won't but…"

Ventus looked to him hesitantly and Vanitas frowned. He felt his stomach turn however when he noticed Ventus was tense.

"Yes?"

"... Max will do everything he can to annoy you. And so will Julius. I… I know they won't hurt us here, not physically, but..."

"... I won't do anything, Ven."

Ventus sighed and Vanitas followed. Yes, Ventus was tense. Afraid that he might lose control and get into trouble again. To realize that Ventus feared a sudden outburst coming from him filled his chest with guilt but the worst part of it was that he actually feared the same thing.

"I'm sorry, Vani"

"Don't be" Vanitas turned to him, doing his best to ignore the coffee that stained his shirt, and took his hand in his own "But don't worry. I really won't do anything... I promise!"

Ventus smiled to him, an ashamed and shy smile, and then they walked back to their friends. A few minutes later of explaining about the coffee stain and a man went to the center of the area, calling everybody's attention and starting to speak.

"Good morning everyone! After a few years of inactivity, we're bringing back to you once again our most beloved event of Twilight Town: The Struggle!"

The screams and shouts covered shook the place and Roxas returned Vanitas and Ventus their respective bats. Xion, Ienzo and Sora soon walked to them as well and the six friends stood together, waiting as the other contestants readied still had deep bags under his eyes but with all that excitement around him at least he wasn't feeling sleepy anymore.

"Alright you two! You're gonna go up there and come back with the trophy in hands, alright?" Sora said energetically and Xion followed him.

"Yeah! Show them what you guys are made of!"

Ventus nodded and so did Vanitas, focusing once again on the blond next to him. It was a dream of his to get that trophy even if it was something symbolic and so Vanitas swore he was going to get it for him!

Once the announcer called the contestants to the platform Ventus and Vanitas followed the others and all of them were presented to the audience. There were some comments and a few shared glances before they tournament finally began.

Ventus was called right off the bat, against someone he didn't know called Tifa. It was a good round as both of them were fast and Ventus was victorious, returning to his friends' side and cheering with them.

"The next contestants are… Vanitas and Seifer! " The man announced, his voice disappearing under the deafening shouts of the audience.

"Go Vani, finish him off!" Xion said urging him and he gave her a thumbs up, readying himself as he always did whenever he and Ventus were practicing. That round lasted longer than the first one, maybe because both of them were older and stronger, but Vanitas won and walked back to their friends as well.

With each friendly fight however their tiredness grew more and more. Everyone was exhausted and now all of them were trying not to waste whatever energy they had left. Ventus and Vanitas were intact, hoping they wouldn't end up against each other, which was still a possibility. Soon enough, however, Ventus was called again. Against Julius.

Vanitas frowned, not taking his eyes off the older boy as he walked to the platform after the blond. He could see Max on the other side of the stage, smirking at him with a weird glimmer in his eyes.

"Alright then. Let the Struggle begin!" The announcer said and the screams restarted.

Ventus waited for Julius to come to him, holding his blue bat before him. He wasn't afraid but there was no denying he was feeling uneasy with Julius and Max there. He still remembered that day very well, how they had kicked and punched Vanitas mercilessly, how they held him while Max laughed and mocked him. He remembered and he hated not being able to do anything before.

"Do it, Ven! Come on, go!"

His friends' brought him back to the present moment and he nodded to himself when Julius ran to him, swinging his bat with force. The blond jumped out of his way, rolling on the ground and getting back on his feet as quick as he could, striking Julius on his back. The older boy turned to him faster than Ventus expected and hit him as well, sending the blond stumbling a few steps back.

Their friends were all shouting, encouraging him, but Vanitas didn't say a word. He did not even move, only watched Julius' every movement. His hatred towards him, Max and Pete was never going to wear off, especially now that they had actually hurt Ventus as well. If he as much tried to do something-

But he didn't. Julius played fair and so did Ventus, both of them swinging their bats around and trying to recover before striking again. As much as the blond tried though he was tired and Julius was clearly stronger than him. That said, after many minutes Ventus fell and lost against him.

"Brother, no!" Roxas sighed, sad for his defeat. Ventus himself couldn't believe he had lost and stood up sighing. He looked to the other boy and Julius returned his look, although this time more menacingly.

"Looks like you still can't do much against me. Eh, blondie?"

Ventus picked his bat back from the ground without replying and left the platform. As soon as he approached his friends again with a depressed frown all of them tried to cheer him up but he didn't really mind losing. The way he looked to Vanitas made that clear; what was bugging him was that he lost to the person who had hurt him before and that made him feel terrible about himself.

Still Vanitas smiled to him, stroking his hair before speaking "You did a great job up there! But now I guess it's up to me to get that trophy for you, right?"

The boy smiled sheepishly but nodded as Vanitas walked to the platform against a contestant called Cloud. Vanitas didn't really mind Cloud's fast and well timed movements; he was determined to win and face Julius next, even more now that Ventus was clearly sad about it and that Max was laughing a few meters from him.

They should've been nothing but rivals for this event but, of course, there were too many things involved for it to be just that. And for that reason Vanitas didn't smile when he won against Cloud. Instead he simply nodded to him and waited for the next round.

None of his friends said a word. The people watching were excited for the outcome but his friends knew what was going on there. Ventus of course was worried and tense and as much as he tried to hide it he couldn't. Suddenly, he remembered when Vanitas punched Max to the ground at school, way before they became friends, and the way he screamed at him. He thought about the day they met Max at the sandlot and he threatened them. He remembered…

 _You are so full of yourself... But are always with a tail between your legs when you get beaten at home._

"It is time for the last round! Who will come out victorious? Who will take the second place?" The announcer started and Ventus' thoughts were blurred by Vanitas' gaze towards the other boy on the other side of the sandlot. He tried to talk to him but Vanitas left before he could, leaving him and his friends behind.

Julius was smiling, followed by Max who was watching with an ear to ear smirk. Vanitas, on the other hand, was dead serious. He tightened his fingers around the bat's handle, a wild glimmer in his yellow eyes. He wished it was Max there so he could actually _hurt_ him-

Vanitas shook his head. What was he thinking?

" Let the Struggle Begin!"

The black-haired teen attacked, dodging to the side and swinging the bat against the boy who shielded himself, returned the attack and jumped backwards once he hit Vanitas. The raven frowned and, just like he did with Ventus' a few weeks ago, hit Julius' hand and sent his bat flying in the air. Julius, however, didn't let his weapon fall and recovered i, moving his arms with swiftness and hitting Vanitas on his waist.

Vanitas could hear the shouts coming for the audience but he couldn't focus on them neither on what he was feeling at the moment. He wanted to… He _could_ strike the boy as much as he wanted to without being blamed for it. It was just part of the event, right? And yet, he knew that wasn't the reason why he was there. He just wanted to win so Ventus would feel happy. Once again, however, his temper was getting the best out of him, he could feel it as his mood decreased just by looking to the other boy, but Ventus, Ventus would be devastated if he lost control-

Vanitas let his guard down.

Julius attacked him again and again, one strike after the one, and Vanitas almost let his bat fall before picking it up but stumbling on his feet once more. He was hit again on his face but took advantage of that one second he had and went for Julius' legs, making him fall.

"Go, Vanitas!" His friends screamed in unison. They barely did however and Julius was already standing again, hitting Vanitas continuously in a way he could do nothing but shield himself.

"I know what you're trying to do!" Julius said to him, their faces only an inch away "You've been trying to change all this time but you know you can't. We know the real you! We know you can't keep those thoughts at bay!"

Vanitas widened his eyes and clenched his teeth together, unable to move as Julius pushed him more against the ground, his legs giving in and forcing him to kneel while still holding the bat over his head.

"You thought we'd be alright with being suspended from school? Maybe Yen Sid can help you while you're inside the school but we'll graduate soon. And once we're no longer students there'll be no one to help you anymore, you fag!"

The raven pushed the boy away, standing up but falling on his knees again, completely out of breath. What was Julius talking about? What were they planning? Was he even serious about that or was he just trying to harass him and make him do something he would probably regret later?

An uneasiness settled in the depths of his stomach, his breathing now fast and harsh. It would be easy to let go of the bat and run after him barehanded. It would be easy to throw him against the floor and make him regret those freaking words.

But he didn't want to. He really didn't want. That was not the reason he was there!

"Dude, you've lost! Just give up!" Julius said, walking to him. Vanitas heard his footsteps among all the shouting and screaming, he knew exactly when he'd be close enough to hit him-

"You can do it, Vanitas!"

It was Ventus. Vanitas turned to him and held his breath. Unlike his other friends, who were just excited because of the friendly fight, Ventus wasn't saying he could win against Julius. No, there was something about the way he looked to him, about the way he now smiled to him, that meant something different. Ventus was saying that he could resist the urge to fight back. He truly believed he could let that go, no matter how hard it was right now.

The only reason he had subscribed for the event was for Ventus' happiness after all. And where would he be if it wasn't for that blond who now cheered for him, not for a trophy but for his own good?

He wouldn't even be here anymore.

Vanitas let go of the bat.

"What?" Julius asked in surprise and the announcer started the countdown. The many people surrounding the stage freaked out seeing that one of the contestants had given up being so close to winning but Ventus was happy. Among many people frozen in shock Ventus actually let out a sigh of relief and smiled more than he thought he could.

"And the winner is… Julius!"

Julius looked around in awe. He didn't expect that to happen, of course he didn't, and he looked even more confused when Vanitas stood up and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Congratulations. You won"

That was the last thing he said to the boy before walking back to his friends. He didn't expect the others to understand what was going inside his head at the moment neither how he was feeling, but one of them would and that was the one person who brought him into an embrace once he was close enough.

Ventus buried his head against Vanitas' chest and both of them smiled as Vanitas returned the hug. He closed his eyes, resting his head on the shorter's boy shoulder "Thank you"

"Vani… I'm so proud of you!"

Just a few minutes later the three top-placed contestants were called to get their prize. Julius received the Struggle Trophy although his excitement wasn't that tangible anymore. Cloud was in second place and although Vanitas was in third he was clearly happier than the other two as he received a bronze medal.

"That. Was. Awesome!" Xion exclaimed to a slightly flustered Vanitas a few minutes later as they walked home, Ventus happily holding him by his arm.

"Yeah! It felt like a real battle!" Sora agreed, staring to the older teen with shining eyes. Vanitas merely shook his head and let his friends talk about the event like there was no tomorrow while he silently enjoyed the fuzzy feeling inside his chest.

"Next time I'll participate as well" Roxas said "Then the three of us will have a chance of winning first place!"

"Maybe all of us should join" Ienzo said and Xion agreed vigorously, Sora right behind her.

"It will be so much fun! Think I've got a chance of winning, Ien?" The girl asked and her friend smiled.

"Of course you do! You can win against all of them, just like I do on chess"

"Uh? If I'm not mistaken, last time we played I was the winner, Ienzo" Vanitas said with a amused look and the boy glared to him, accepting his challenge.

Once they arrived at the twins' house Ienzo, Xion and Sora left the three boys behind and resumed their walk to their own home. The moment they stepped inside the parents of the twins greeted the three, especially their mother who walked to them with a caring smile.

"Hey there, sweethearts! How did it go- Oh, Vanitas!" She was clearly staring to his medal now.

"Vani got third place, mom!" Ventus told her excitedly and - In a purely instinctive and natural act which he'd probably come to regret later - kissed Vanitas' cheek " It was so cool, you should've seen it!"

"You got third place? That's great!" Ventus' father said and Vanitas nodded with a stupid smile in his face. It was just a silly medal but even then the reception there was always so sweet.

"You two can tell me everything about it once you eat. I'm baking a cake for us!" She said gesturing to the kitchen and, indeed, they all could already smell it "Why don't you rest for a while and then we can all eat together?"

"Sure thing, mom!" Ventus said and turned to his brother, who smiled to him and walked to the living room, sitting on the sofa next to their father. The younger twin then turned to Vanitas and smiled as well.

"Wanna see where I've put Chirithy?" He asked and didn't wait for Vanitas' response before dragging him upstairs and into his and Roxas' bedroom. The raven followed of course, smiling awkwardly to the boy's parents before going after him.

Ventus' bed was carefully made and clean, only this time there was a stuffed cat on it. Chirithy felt as if it belonged there with its grey fur and small, tiny purse. He couldn't help but chuckle seeing Ventus basically run to it and pick it up.

"Isn't he the cutest?" Ventus asked, smiling even wider. God, how Vanitas loved that smile…

"Actually..." The raven picked the plushie and stared to it for a second before putting it on Ventus' bedside table along with his medal "He's not. You are much cuter"

The blond widened his eyes and giggled, not expecting Vanitas to say that but of course enjoying it nonetheless.

"Ahm… Wanna watch something while we wait for the cake?" Ventus asked with flushed cheeks and Vanitas agreed, already laying on the bed as if it was his own. Following him then was Ventus who carefully closed the door before literally jumping on the bed and on Vanitas.

"Oof- You're heavy, oh my God!" Vanitas exclaimed to what Ventus denied.

"No, I'm not!"

"Yes, you are!"

Ventus then sat straight by Vanitas' side, taking a deep breath. The Struggle had really worn him out and he imagined Vanitas was feeling even more tired than he was, so he started to stroke his dark hair to make him relax.

"Next week we've got that Geography test… And then Music Classes the next! I can't wait!"

"Me neither. I think we'll be in the same class as well, at least in our theoric lessons" Vanitas said.

"Uhum. Which is even better 'cause then we get to study together too! I can almost see the keyboard before me, oh my God!"

Vanitas smiled to him, relaxing with the soft movement on his hair. He would finally be able to play guitar again, one of the things he loved to do the most, and he was as excited as Ventus even if he didn't show it. He let the boy talk as much as he wanted to about his thoughts, paying attention to everything he said until he was finished.

"You're so quiet…" Ventus noticed "I'm sorry… I talk too much, don't I?"

"Nah, you're fine. You can talk as much as you want. I like to see you happy like this"

"Hehe… I like it when you're happy too. And today I… I was really happy for you"

Vanitas blushed and looked away for a few seconds but Ventus turned his face to him and kissed his cheek, waiting for him to return it just like he knew he would. They spent some time like that, just being silly all the while sharing soft kisses until they got more and more intense.

Ventus liked the way Vanitas touched him and caressed his skin with affection. He felt comfortable like this, he felt well and every time they kissed Ventus wanted more. However Vanitas didn't want to go too fast, afraid that he'd end up pushing him away due to embarrassment or fear, but he also felt how the boy pulled him closer to himself, how he kissed him more and more willingly each time.

Vanitas then gently closed his fingers over the boy's hair, pulling his head back so slowly and softly that Ventus didn't notice while they kissed, only doing so when he felt Vanitas' hot breath against his neck. He shivered when he licked him, his face now burning, and moaned louder than he thought he would.

"V-Vani…!" Ventus swallowed and looked to Vanitas in shock.

"Are you ticklish?" The older boy asked, teasing him.

"N… No" The boy replied, looking around "You think they heard me?"

Vanitas laughed out loud. How could someone be this adorable?

"Of course not, Ven. You weren't that loud, trust me. But if you're worried… We could watch some TV, I don't know"

Ventus understood his idea, to which he replied by silently reaching for the remote controller and turning the TV on before locking the door. He felt a little bit guilty for doing that but he'd rather do it than having someone enter the room without warning…

Of course, the way Vanitas smiled to him once he returned to the bed made him feel everything but guilty.

Ventus smiled and held Vanitas's face with both of his hand. The older boy was surprised when Ventus pulled him closer and kissed him intensely, a little more daring than himself on the day they first kissed

Vanitas then returned it, enjoying how Ventus was slowly letting go of his embarrassment, and sat in a way so he could caress the boy's body. Seeing as Ventus seemed to be more confident today he let himself go further as well and lay his hand over the younger boys' abdomen, moving it downwards and carefully under his shirt.

Ventus moaned again, closing his fingers a bit more energetically over the taller boy's clothing. Vanitas continued, returning to his neck while his hand still moved and Ventus shivered feeling his breath on his skin again. The raven started to kiss that spot, controlling himself not to do anything that might leave a mark, and smiled when he saw Ventus smirk. He continued to run his hands down his thin body until he reached his legs and his thigh, pressing it slightly.

The blond stared at him, Vanitas now pulling away a little to look right into his eyes, resuming what he was doing. He was serious and paying attention to Ventus' every reaction, be them groans or even the way he moved under his body. His yellow eyes were so piercing that they made Ventus feel defenseless but not in a bad way. He enjoyed feeling that way, completely at the mercy of the older boy.

Vanitas then continued to massage his legs, sliding his hand up and down until he reached his groin and touched the boy's member over his shorts. Ventus widened his eyes, surprised by this exciting new sensation that exploded within him, and stopped kissing the raven to just stare at him with eyes half-closed, as Vanitas continued to touch him and feel the volume of his shorts grow bigger in his hand.

Vanitas stared back at him, ready to stop if Ventus asked him to which Ventus didn't. Instead, he deepened his fingertips against Vanitas' skin and whispered his name which made Vanitas smile even wider! He then moved his hand from Ventus' shorts to his neck; he could feel the desperate throb of his veins under his fingers and that turned him on more than anything. However, he wouldn't do anything else for now. Instead, he simply kissed the blond tenderly once more and smiled to him.

"... You ever touched yourself before?" He asked and Ventus' face turned red in an instant, although he didn't feel actually uncomfortable with the question.

"Ahm… N-No. Not really"

"I see" The raven moved off of Ventus and lay next to his, fingers interlaced with his.

"... Have you?"

"Yeah. Many times" Vanitas said without a worry in the world. Ventus was silent for a few more seconds before speaking again.

"Does… Does that change anything? I'm… I'm not experienced with this so-"

"That doesn't change anything. Not for me, it doesn't" He replied, kissing the boy's hand again. Although the blond was relaxing now, deep inside he actually wanted more of that.

"... This is weird" Ventus said and laughed to himself "Like… To talk about this. It's weird because I don't really mind talking to you about it, you know"

Vanitas laughed too and this time closed his eyes, letting himself be washed by that innocence and… Sense of discovery, if he could call it that. To know Ventus trusted him. That was all he really needed.

"I'm glad. 'Cause well… I am shameless" Vanitas said with a smirk and Ventus blushed again, only this time he turned to face him and just lay there, their hands held together as both of them enjoyed each other's company.

By the time they were called by Ventus' mother both were already very well rested and relaxed. They joined his mother, father and brother in what turned out to be a very fun and pleasant moment, telling silly jokes and laughing after such a tiring event. Time went by very fast and before they noticed stars already covered the sky.

Like they always did, Ventus and Vanitas stood together by his house door. They didn't say much, there really wasn't much to be said, but then Ventus suddenly stood up and put a hand on his head.

"You forgot your medal inside! I'm gonna get it!"

Before he could however, Vanitas grabbed him by his hand.

"I didn't forget. It is yours"

"But I lost. You're the one who-" He was silenced when Vanitas put a finger on his lips.

"Shhh. It's yours. I wouldn't have made it this far without you, you know. You deserve it"

Ventus giggled. He looked inside Vanitas' eyes, not focusing on how tired he look but instead on how much his eyes were shining just for him. He sighed in defeat and then circled his arms around him again.

"You're… Really important to me, Vani"

Vanitas smiled and suddenly there it was again. An unwanted thought about how much he had cried last night threatening to return. He returned Ventus' embrace.

 _I wouldn't have made it this far without you._


	34. Chapter 34

The moment Vanitas got home he looked around checking whether his father was there or not, and finding him only seconds later at the kitchen with a bottle of beer in his hand. Xehanort didn't bother to talk or even to look to his son and the teenager sighed before walking to his bedroom in silence. It was better that way.

He sat on his bed and let himself relax, sometimes taking a quick glance at Flood which now lay comfortably on his pillow. He smiled to himself and rubbed his eyes, tiredness finally taking over him. After waking up late and facing many contestants on Struggle he did expect to feel tired but definitely not this much.

Seeing as there was no reason to stay awake any longer the teen then lay on the bed next to his plushie ( _I really need to wash him_ , he thought) and only seconds later drifted off into sleep. The sunday went by without any trouble and he used his time to study for the upcoming Geography test, sending and receiving messages from his friends who were doing the same.

On monday then Vanitas woke up with nothing in mind except that he wished he could sleep just a few more minutes. Just like every other day the first thing he did was to check his cell phone and he frowned at the missed call notification...

Ventus called him at 3AM? And even sent a message afterwards too:

 _Vani, is everything alright? Please, call me when you wake up? Please, no matter what time it is!_

What could have possibly happened that made him call so early? It wasn't like Ventus to call him like this in the middle of the night. Was he in trouble? Without thinking twice Vanitas called him and was promptly answered.

"Ven? Are you okay?"

"Vani!" His voice was bathed in relief "Are you alright? Did something happen?"

"Not that I know of" The older boy replied in a playful tone. He wasn't lying; nothing had happened this time "But I asked first, you know!"

He heard Ventus sigh and then laugh on the other end of the line "Sorry. I just… I just had a really bad feeling, I really wanted to talk to you because I was worried!"

"No need to worry about me Ven, really. Everything's okay around here. I just woke up and I'm more than ready to sleep again. But is everything really alright up there? Be honest!"

"Uhum. Honest!" He replied clearly calmer although he still felt uneasy.

"Good. I'll see you at school soon then you can tell me what happened. Alright?" Vanitas asked, leaving his bed and yawning.

"'Kay! I'll see you soon then!"

"See you!" He let Ventus hang up first and then followed his routine, going to the kitchen to make his coffee and then to the bathroom to take a shower, leaving his house at 6:30AM.

When he got to the usual street corner he lit his cigarette and waited for the twins to show up in the distance, not surprised when they arrived earlier since Ventus was definitely walking faster that day. When the blond saw Vanitas he started to run towards him and jumped in his arms, hugging him tight and burying his head on his chest.

"H-Hey, Ventus-"

"Are you really alright?" The boy asked, staring deep into his eyes. Vanitas returned his gaze, affectionate.

"I am! Look at me, see anything different?" The raven asked with a smile to calm the boy down. Roxas sighed.

"Ven woke up crying during the night. He was... Desperate"

"I had a nightmare!" Ventus exclaimed, following his brother's words "A-And it was horrible, I-I don't even want t-to think about it, y-you were hurt and I couldn't d-do anything to help, I-I-!"

Vanitas widened his eyes. If Ventus continued to talk like this he would start crying any minute now!

"Ven, hey!" Vanitas pulled away from him just a little and put his hands on his shoulders "Relax, it was just a dream. Nothing happened to me. I mean, I might've stubbed my pinky toe on the table leg yesterday but that was all, really!"

Ventus still looked distraught but ended up smiling. _Thank God_ , Vanitas thought. He wouldn't know what to do if the blond started to cry there out of a sudden. Vanitas then stroke his face and brought him into an embrace again as if protecting him.

"I'm being serious. Relax. If something happened to me you'd be the first one to know about it. There's no need to be this desperate"

"I'm sorry… I-I was scared"

"No need to apologize, blondie! It's over now, isn't it?" Vanitas patted his head.

"Tch!" Ventus laughed, trying to push him away "It's been a long time since you called me blondie!"

"Indeed. Feels nostalgic, doesn't it?"

Roxas smiled to himself seeing his brother being comforted that way, the two boys now walking together to the school gates. Ventus knew Vanitas was trying to distract him from his nightmare and, really, he appreciated it.

Still, the image of Vanitas bleeding and asking for help, while he was unable to do anything but cry, would still haunt his mind every now and then.

On the break the boys decided to spend their time alone and so they did, going to the sports court to watch other students play volleyball. They sat on the floor and spent what little time they had talking, Ventus hugging Vanitas close while the raven caressed his head and played with his hair.

"Vani… Were you serious before?"

"Hm? When?"

"When you said that… If anything happened to you I'd be first one to know. Were you being honest?"

"Yes. Why?"

"Would… Would you do it even if it was something that you didn't want to tell anyone, though?"

Vanitas stared to him and felt his stomach turn "What kind of question is that?"

The boy lowered his gaze. He knew Vanitas was hiding something, he could see it in his eyes, deep inside them; there was sadness and anxiety. There was pain and yet he never said anything about it. And yet he was always worried about Ventus and ignored if he was actually well himself. Ven felt that and wanted to help him, but didn't know how. He needed to be sure before saying anything.

"Just a question" The blond replied, lifting his head and smiling before kissing the tip of his nose. Vanitas blinked in confusion before staring to him again.

"What are you up to, boy?"

"I'm not up to anything!"

The two continued to chat for a few minutes laughing without a reason to but Vanitas started to wonder if Ventus suspected about anything, reason why he had had a nightmare… Those thoughts however left when Ventus started to poke his face to irritate him but Vanitas merely grumbled and kissed his fingers in response. It felt good to be this close and just to be silly together but then the blond kissed his cheek and only seconds later they heard someone talk.

"...I know right? Disgusting!"

They turned their heads to look; there were four girls a few steps from them, staring to the boys with repulsive expressions on their faces. Two of them were laughing while the other ones just shook their heads in what looked like disbelief.

Ventus frowned "Are you talking to us?"

"No, I was talking to my friends _about_ you. Like, really? Do you know where you are?"

"What do y-"

"So indecent!" One of the other girls said "To think I'd see that here out of all places…"

"If you're bothered then what are you still doing here?" Vanitas intervened, holding Ventus' hand without taking his eyes off them.

"This is a school. It's our right to come and go. But if you two want to have some private time then why don't you go somewhere else? No one needs to see it, you know?"

The other girls laughed but the way Vanitas glared to them made them take a step back. He was well known for his aggressions against other students after all and even if it had been a while since he'd done anything they didn't want to risk it.

"Vani..." Ventus began but Vanitas continued.

"No one's asking you to stare! Why don't you move along and go bother someone else?"

They didn't reply this time. Just as they came without a reason they went away and left the two there alone, Vanitas still holding Ventus' hand while they both watched them leave.

There was an unpleasant silence afterwards, Ventus still looking to the direction where they'd gone.

"Ventus..."

"What did I do wrong?" The boy asked suddenly, looking to him with an utterly confused expression "I didn't… I didn't do anything wrong, did I?"

"Of course not, Ven. Look..."

"I… I kissed your cheek! Is that… Indecent?" He looked really guilty and stared down to his own feet "Although I… I shouldn't have done that here at school"

"Ven, that's not the problem. Don't mind those people-" Vanitas continued but the boy looked so upset with that that he didn't really seem to hear him.

"We're not even in a place where everyone can see us… And we're not… Kissing and touching either, I just… I just wanted to..."

Vanitas sighed. He couldn't blame Ventus for reacting like this. He had felt the same before, heard things he wished he hadn't, seen things he wished he could erase from memory. He was going to say something but Ventus interrupted him.

"They… They wouldn't have said anything if I was with a girl, right?" The younger boy asked, unsure of what he was feeling. Vanitas sighed.

"Probably not"

The raven touched the boy's chin and gently turned his head to face him "Ventus, look. Those people… They just want to bother you, you mustn't mind them too much"

"They didn't… Really do anything though, they just said it. But other people… What can they do?"

Vanitas wanted to say they couldn't do anything, he really did, but that would be a lie and he really didn't want to lie to Ventus. He knew however that under the blond's apparent confusion there was actually acknowledgment about what that meant… And that only made things worse.

Ventus pulled away from Vanitas but the raven reached for him again, putting a hand behind his head and moving forward so their foreheads touched.

"Ven… What you did wasn't wrong or disgusting, not even indecent. Those girls… Weren't talking about what you did but..."

"With who I did it. Another boy!"

"-That's not a problem either! Look, Ven, I… I don't want you to stop being yourself because of those people. I don't want you to stop expressing yourself either. People… People will still talk a lot about it and I'm not saying it will be a pleasant thing but you need to be tough and ignore them. Alright? You're not alone in this"

Ventus closed his eyes, his worry now renewed. As if the night hadn't been bad enough...

"Alright" He said mostly to keep Vanitas calmer. He didn't want to worry him more than he had and Vanitas seemed to have enough problems already. Of course, the older teen could see right through him and knew he wasn't really okay with that.

Worst of all, he wasn't sure of how to make Ventus feel better about it. After all, it wasn't something easy to deal with for him either.

* * *

That night Ventus went to bed later than usual. His mind was still on what had happened at school and how… Sudden it had been. He turned on his bed, facing his brother who was already sound asleep. Did he and Axel ever go through that before? What the girls at school said was nothing compared to what some people did, but the fact still bothered him.

He then thought about Vanitas again. His thoughts always seemed to drift back to him and to whatever it was that he was hiding. It had felt so good to go to Disney Town with him and it was even more amazing to see him let go of the bat at struggle! And yet, his eyes were swollen back then. He had woken up late, hence why he answered his call with that drowsy voice. He looked tired and stressed out even before the incident with Max.

What exactly was Vanitas so determined to hide from him? Didn't he… Didn't he trust him enough?

...Was he scared of something?

Bothered by those thoughts, Ventus left his bed and went to the kitchen, picking himself a cup of water and then walking to the living room. If he couldn't sleep he might as well watch some TV, so he turned it on and tried to pay attention to whatever it was airing at the moment but to no avail. He was so distracted by what he was feeling however that he jumped startled when footsteps were heard.

"Son? Is something wrong?"

It was his father, any trace of sleep he had a few seconds ago vanished as he walked to his boy, worried. Ventus smiled to him and nodded, afraid he had woken him up because of the loud volume of the TV…

"Y-Yeah. I just… Can't bring myself to sleep"

"Hmm..."

The adult looked to him for a few seconds and Ventus turned his gaze away, trying not to worry him. It was too late for that however for his father could tell if he wasn't feeling well from a distance.

"Come on" The man sat next to him and muted the TV "What's bothering you?"

Ventus gulped and stared down to his own feet. He felt embarrassed for worrying about this but he really shouldn't. It was something worrisome after all… Still…

"I… I... "

"You…?"

The boy held his breath and finally let it out "T… Today at school, I… I-I kissed Vani's cheek"

He stopped and looked to his father hesitantly, unsure of how he'd react to that. Yes, Vanitas had been there before. Yes, both of his parents knew there were more than friends. Still, he had never talked about it openly with them and couldn't help but worry about their opinions on it…

But his father simply nodded, urged him to continue. And so he did.

"And… And that was all, I-I was holding his hand but that was all really. We… We didn't even do much but then some girls walked to us and… And one of them said that was disgusting. That she wished she didn't have to see that at school. And her friends, they all agreed with her"

His father sat closer, putting an arm around his shoulder. Ventus felt his throat go dry.

"Oh, Ventus… I'm so sorry. That must have been really hard for both of you"

Ventus teared up. He didn't know where those tears came from because those girls words hadn't been that bad. Or maybe they had and he was just lying to himself to feel a little better. He felt so weak and ashamed for letting that bother him like this, but his father saw nothing wrong with that. Nothing at all.

"What did Vanitas do?" The adult asked, his soft and worried voice giving Ventus all the comfort he needed.

"He… Told me not to listen to them. And that I'm not alone in this" Ventus laughed unwillingly and in a low tone "I remembered that day when those three boys threatened me. I… I felt scared"

His father sighed and pulled him a little bit closer. The blond smiled weakly but then turned to his father when he spoke.

"Son… You and your brother are the most precious beings I could ever ask for. Your mother and I, we love you more than anything. And we are really proud of you" Ventus giggled sheepishly "However… I'm afraid that what happened today is something you'll have to face from now on, my boy"

Ventus nodded, still unable to speak.

"You see… Some people don't seem to understand what it means to love someone. They think that only a man and a woman can be happy together or even build a family together. It would be alright if they simply kept that to themselves, of course, everyone's entitled to their own opinion. But some will try to make others feels bad for it… And I will never understand why"

He smiled "Ventus… I wish you were still that tiny boy who'd never let go of my hand and who I could keep safe in my arms. But… You've grown. You still have many difficulties to face on your way and, unfortunately, maybe even more because you like another boy"

"Yeah..."

"But don't let that change who you are neither affect what you feel. You're an amazing person Ventus and I know that, no matter how many years go by, I'll always be proud to call you my son."

Ventus smiled and, fighting the tears back, hugged his father tight. The boy smiled and breathed deep to try and hold himself, but his father continued.

"Ven… It is okay to feel upset. It's okay to cry. Don't feel bad for that"

That was when the tears started falling and Ventus closed his eyes, overwhelmed by the negative feelings but mostly by gratitude for the family he had. It felt good to be loved. It felt good to feel important like this, to be cared for.

"T-Thank you, dad. I love you"

It felt good to have support from the most important people in his life.

"I love you too, son"

* * *

"Alright, then. I hope you all managed to finish last week's assignment" Aqua said cheerfully "I want you all to read the text on page 34. Meanwhile, I'll check each one's exercises"

The class was quieter than she thought it would be. Starting from the first student on the first row, she called every teenager to her desk. It would've been easier and faster to write the answers down on the blackboard, but she wanted to see who had and who hadn't done it.

"Ventus" She called. The young boy quickly got up and walked to her, notebook in hands.

For a while she only focused on the assignment before her while Ventus waited, anxious to know if he had got the answers right. A few seconds later though she spoke.

"How are you, Ven?" Aqua asked the same to all her students; she truly cared about everyone's well being and that was a way to know if they needed something or if they were having any problems.

"I'm good, thank you!" He replied with a happy smile.

"We sure had a lot of fun in Disney Down, uh?"

"Yeah! It was so awesome! I don't remember if you saw Chirithy, though? Vani gave him to me, it is a stuffed cat and he's adorable! I can show you a picture later if you'd like!"

"Of course!" Aqua smiled back, a warm and comforting smile only she had to offer "You and Vanitas are really close, uh?"

"Yeah" Ventus blushed a little "He's… Really kind to me. And caring. Sometimes we don't even do anything, we just stay together, but I really like his company. It makes me happy to be with him"

Aqua smiled even wider and took a quick glance to Vanitas, who was attentive reading the text she told them to "Vanitas kind and caring? Who would have thought, uh?"

"I know, right?" He laughed, also looking to him. The raven felt he was being watched and lifted his head from the book, only to give Ventus a thumbs up before resuming his reading "He is… Very different from what I thought. I'm glad I got to know him better"

"Really? Different how?"

"Well, he's not as annoying as I thought. Only when he doesn't have his morning coffee, then he gets all grumpy" Ventus laughed "But he's not a bad person. He just needs someone who cares for him. Vani doesn't admit it, but he's not as strong as he pretends to be"

The teacher gave him her full attention. There was more to Vanitas than anyone knew of and she was happy that Ventus was so close to him… Especially because it seemed he knew something that she didn't "Is there anything you'd like to tell me, Ven?"

Their voices were already low but Aqua practically whispered her question. The boy pressed his lips together, thinking about his suspicions and wondering if he should tell her about it or not.

"I'm… I'm not sure. But there is something bothering me. Something I don't know exactly what it is"

"Hmm… " She didn't want to force him, mainly because she knew Ventus would tell her if it was something important "Well, when you're sure about it or even if you'd like to talk about the matter you can come and talk to me or Terra. No judgment nor anything. What do you think?"

"Sure! Thanks Aqua- I mean, professor"

"Aqua is fine, Ven" She said with care, turning her attention back to his notebook "You know, Ventus, I once said you you are one of the best students of this class… And that is true. Not only because of your grades but something about you stands out"

"Really? Like what?"

"You have this… Unexplainable purity. Everyone here likes you. And, you know, you really are special. Only someone like you would be able to get this close to Vanitas. And believe me when I say this, I've been trying for two years"

She wasn't bluffing. Ventus had done what she and many others had tried for two entire years to no avail. One just needed to look to the black haired boy to see how much he had changed. His grades also spoke for themselves and his attention on class was completely different from before.

The blond put a hand behind his head "Hehe… Ah, I don't think I'm special. I just want everyone to be happy I guess"

"Of course" The teacher gave him a friendly tap on his shoulders as a sign of affection and then returned his notebook "Well, let's continue then. You got some answers wrong, I marked them down so you can redo them. I think you might have misunderstood the questions. Once you're done you can bring it to me again"

"Okay. Thanks, Aqua!"

Aqua nodded. Once Ventus left it was Vanitas' turn to go to her desk and he did, as quiet as he could be.

"How are you, Vanitas?" She asked.

"Pretty good. What about you, ma'am?"

"Pretty good" The woman smiled and focused on her job. Vanitas crossed his arms, standing by her and waiting until she returned his notebook as well.

"They're all impecable!" She congratulated him "Your progress is outstanding, Vanitas. Keep it up!"

"Thank you, ma'am" He said and walked back to his desk. Ventus, who was watching everything, stared to him in shock.

"Impecable? Did you seriously get them all right?"

"Of course! I actually pay attention in class, you know" The teen replied, giving him a stupid smirk.

"Aww, come on!" Ventus retorted, laughing "If you're so smart then why not help me here?"

"Why? You can do it yourself!"

"That's so unfair!"

Only a few seconds later though and Vanitas pulled his chair closer to the blond, helping him with the exercises he got wrong. It was funny to see the older boy explaining things like that, mentioning details and answering his questions. Once Ventus finished and took his notebook to Aqua again - Everything now correct -, the blond sat by Vanitas again and started to laugh.

"What is it?" Vanitas asked, frowning.

"Nothing. I'm just… Really proud of you"

"Proud of me? Why?"

"Just look at you! You're even better than me on classes now!"

"No need to exaggerate, Ven"

"No, I mean it! You're doing your best, studying and paying attention to the lessons. You once told me you were afraid of failing this year again but if you keep like this then you will pass with flying colors!"

"You sound like a teacher when you speak like that"

"I know" The blond laughed to himself and looked away, back to the book. Vanitas watched him unsure of what to say and was caught off guard when Ventus turned to him with his eyes shining.

"Looks like I won the bet after all, uh?"

Vanitas just stared to him, speechless. It felt like so long since they made that bet. They had even had an argument because of it, an occasion he really didn't like to remember. And now…

 _"If... If I win..." Ventus swallowed "You will stop being so freaking lazy and actually try to study harder!"_

 _"What?"_

 _"It's my bet! Will you accept it or not?"_

The raven laughed, running his hand through his hair and being engulfed by that fuzzy feeling again. Ventus closed his eyes, giving him that sweet and innocent smile he loved and Vanitas did the same, certain that he would do anything to keep Ventus happy like that.


	35. Chapter 35

"Come on, Ven! Do it!"

Ventus pressed his teeth together and attacked again, fingers closed into fists. He missed.

"If you wanna be able to defend yourself then you must learn how to attack as well!"

It was no use! No matter how many times he tried or how strong his punches were he simply couldn't hit Vanitas. The older boy seemed to be constantly prepared for his attacks and always dodged or protected himself. It was frustrating!

"Come on, Ven, you're better than that!" Vanitas exclaimed. The boy grumbled and went for him again, trying to strike any part of his body with no success.

"You're too fast! I just can't do it!"

"That's not what I saw on Struggle. You did a really good job there, what's holding you back now?"

"I just… Don't fight well with my bare hands, that's all"

"That's why you must be prepared in case you need them. What if you're disarmed?"

"I think I'm better at defending myself than attacking..." The boy said under his breath.

"Still, you can't be on the defensive forever. You need to impose yourself! Make your opponent fear you!"

It was 7 PM. Roxas had left with his parents and the two boys were alone in the house. They had been training like that for one hour and Ventus was getting more and more irritated.

He wouldn't complain about it though since he was the one who asked Vanitas for them to do that. _F_ _o r self-defense_ , he told him the day before. The two had thoroughly talked about the possibility of someone else trying to pick a fight with them and Ventus, expressing his stress for not being able to deal with the situation when he was cornered in the alley, asked Vanitas to teach him what he knew.

Vanitas agreed to it reluctantly. Honestly, he didn't want Ventus to use violence to deal with his problems. Even if he did that all the time himself, he was conscious that it was not the best choice. Violence only led to more violence. And yet, he knew they couldn't always expect good from other people so if Ventus thought it was important to learn that then he'd help him with it. If he could.

The younger boy frowned and this time he looked really disappointed "This isn't working. I can't"

"Let's start from the beginning then" Vanitas suggested, going back to what they did when they first started. He closed his fists and readied himself "Go on. I won't move,I'll just defend myself"

"Why not the other way around, you try to hit me and I try to avoid it? You can do that and we'll see for how long I can take it!"

"That's not what we're aiming for, Ven"

"But it's all I can do! I'm not strong enough to face someone, I just want to be able to protect myself if needed!"

Vanitas sighed. Despite Ventus being the one to ask for this it was obvious that neither of them were really happy with the idea. One hour of practice - If they could call it that, since both were hesitant - was more than enough for them to realize it.

"Hey…" Vanitas smiled and walked to the smaller boy, putting his hands on his arms "You wanted to try it, we tried. It didn't really work out but we'll think of something else"

Ventus avoided Vanitas' gaze. The raven ruffled his hair and walked away from him, stretching his arms above his head.

"I know you're worried. So am I. Actually, I've always been"

Vanitas sat on the ground, distracted as he played with the grass. Ventus walked to him and sat by his side.

"... Did someone… Ever hurt you for this?"

The two remained silent for a while. Ventus didn't know if it was a good time to talk about that ( _When would it be a good time?_ ) but now he had already asked. Vanitas cleared his throat and stared to his own feet.

"... Yeah. But most of the time there were just shouts or insults instead of actually punches or something. I guess that's a good thing?" He laughed unwillingly.

"... How did you know? You know, that… That you liked other men?" Suddenly Ventus wanted to ask him everything. There was still a lot he didn't know about Vanitas, he wanted to know him better now that they were this close. Vanitas didn't say it but he actually wanted the same.

"Well… How did you?"

"Ahm… I… When I met you" He said, blushing lightly.

"And was it weird? Or just something natural?

"Hm.. It was natural for me"

"That was how I knew" Vanitas said and smiled to him, but his smile disappeared one second later "It was pretty much the same as when I spent my time with women. I just didn't know that to be with another man would be something wrong in other people's eyes"

Ventus looked away. Vanitas sounded deeply hurt.

"Nowadays I know there's nothing wrong about that. I don't think gender matters anyway. But I've heard… And seen things that left me afraid"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Vanitas denied with a shake of his head "It's in the past. Better leave it where it is. What I'm trying to say is that I understand what you're feeling, Ven"

The blond nodded and held his hand, not only asking for comfort but also trying to give it. The two said nothing for some more time until Vanitas lay on the grass and stared to the sky, a curious nostalgia taking over him. Ventus looked to him with affection.

"You know what we should do? I'll get something for us to eat and we can stay here watching the stars while we wait for my parents. What do you think?"

Vanitas laughed "What, you want to have a picnic in your yard?"

"If you'd like!"

The raven sat straight, brushing the dust off of his hair and standing up "Well, why not. I don't really have anything to do tonight"

"Well, now you do!"

The two went to the kitchen and got themselves food and drinks before going back and spending the rest of the evening relaxing. They talked for what felt like an eternity, enjoying how the stars seemed to stare back to them. Before the adults returned Ventus ended up sleeping and Vanitas kissed his forehead, making sure he was comfortable next to him.

He felt scared for Ventus. Afraid that the day might come when he wouldn't be there to help him. But at least for now he could keep him safe.

* * *

Terra gave his tests just before the break, wanting to free his students of any worries for his second class. Before they started, he stood in front of the blackboard and smirked to them.

"Alright everyone. Until the end of the next class I'll be marking your tests because I know all of you are excited for vacation and only a few of you are coming next week"

The students started to cheer, screaming with enthusiasm. That was the last week of the second semester where teachers would actually give them new lessons. On the next one only those who had low grades were supposed to go, but those were only a few and the eagerness for vacation was shared by everyone.

"I hope you have fun, please stay safe, but mostly importantly rest! We're going to have a lot of work once we come back"

"Geez, why ruin it before it even starts?" Sora asked out loud and everyone laughed. After that the teacher distributed the tests and everyone did it in silence so to finish it without problems.

Finally they left the classroom for break. Ventus, Vanitas and Xion walked to the line of students waiting to get their food (Today they had spaghetti with sausages for lunch) and were chatting excitedly while waiting for their turn when they heard a fourth voice.

"Is it true, then?"

Vanitas and Ventus recognized it at the spot. Xion didn't at first but her friend's reaction when they saw the other boy made it clear that he was Max. The teen had his arms crossed over his chest and smiled mockingly at them.

When no one said a word he continued "I was told you were making out next to the sports court. Is that true?"

Ventus blushed violently and all the fear and shame he felt that day returned at once. Vanitas however took the lead and glared to the other "What is it? Do you want to be suspended again?"

"As if that was a problem" Max said with a wave of his hand "I don't want to fight, I just wanted to make sure. As if those two weren't enough" He pointed to Sora and Riku, sitting at the other side of the schoolyard "Now you too? Really? You're gay? Aren't you ashamed? Where's your dignity, Vani?"

"Do you really want to start this here?" Vanitas asked pissed off and Ventus held him by his arm. The entire line of students had already noticed the commotion between them and the adults watched them with attention.

"Hey, what do you want?" It was Xion, taking a step forward "You think you can just come here and bother them? Don't you have anything better to do?"

"Who do you think you are to talk to me like that, poking your nose into our conversation? No one's talking to you!"

"If you're gonna mess with my friends, then you're messing with me!"

Xion glared to him with anger, right by Vanitas' side. Ventus tried to say something to her, but he didn't have time to.

"Girl, just stay put alright?" Max mocked her "What, you think you're worth something? Shut the fuck up and leave the talking to u-"

Even Vanitas was shocked when Xion interrupted the boy and kicked him between his legs, making him fall groaning in pain. The school monitors who were on their way now ran towards the teens telling them to stop.

The muss that became of the line of students however was total and they all laughed at Max, pointing at him while saluting Xion. The girl didn't move, still staring down to the boy. Ventus put a hand on her shoulder.

"X… Xion?"

"Don't even try, Ven!" She exclaimed, making him jump startled "I won't let anyone bad mouth you, uh uh! No way!"

As soon and their friends saw that from afar they quickly ran to them. Ienzo practically jumped to reach Xion, eyes wide and with no words to say, but once he stared down to the boy who was on his knees before her he nodded with respect. Sora and Riku were laughing like mad as they were told about what happened, Roxas was surprised by it and Ventus barely moved. When Vanitas started to laugh out loud and congratulate the girl however he relaxed and joined them.

"Stop that right now!" The school monitor Xaldin shouted while helping the boy up "Whoever is responsible for this better say it **right now** before I send all of you to Yen Sid!"

"It was I who kicked him. And I'll do it again if I have to!" Xion replied immediately, proud of herself. Max stared to her with pure hatred but he was in disadvantage there and completely humiliated. Vanitas took a step forward.

"I encouraged her to do so" He said with an ear to ear smile ( _You think this is funny, boy?_ , Xaldin asked him ). Xion had stood up for them, he couldn't let her take all the blame!

"So did I" It was Ventus' turn to join his friend and Xion smiled to them. By the way they looked to each other it didn't even feel like they could get in trouble for that. Still, in that moment the three of them seemed to agree that it would have been worth it.

Once the situation was explained however everything they got was a warning and were told that if that happened again there would be consequences. Still Yen Sid was deeply distraught by Max's words and told every teacher to talk about that with their classes.

"Everyone must be respected inside and outside this school. I'll guarantee this doesn't happen again" He said to their joy. At least that small confusion had been useful for something!

"You're the best!" Vanitas said to Xion, friendly tapping her back and smiling along with her and Ventus as they walked back to the classroom. When they reunited with the others everyone congratulated her and Xion, embarrassed, repeated she had done what anyone would have.

On friday the friends said their goodbyes with waves and shared warm hugs. None of them had low grades and therefore would start their vacation that day. They promised to meet again while they were away from school and then they all left, going to their homes excited for that month of tranquility they'd have.

"I'll miss you" Ventus said to Vanitas right after they went through the gates.

"Relax, I'll go to your house every day"

"No, there's no need to, I want to miss you" The boy laughed and they followed to the twins' house, waving one last time to their classmates. When Ventus looked to Vanitas he widened his eyes instantly.

"Vani, are you okay?"

Teary-eyed, Vanitas looked to him with a genuine smile "Sorry. Guess I'm eager for vacation as much as you are"

Ventus exhaled in relief and held his hand, walking closer to the other. Vanitas let him and breathed in the cool air of the end of the morning. That was the first time in years he had friends who actually wanted to see him even when they were away from school. The first time he had someone to share this feeling with.

It was amazing.

* * *

On that saturday Vanitas woke up later than usual, around 7 AM. He sat straight with no need to hurry, spending a few more minutes on the bed before stretching, getting out of it and going to the bathroom. Finally, the first day of Music Classes had arrived. It felt so surreal; he had waited for so long.

He was going to play guitar again… Oh yeah, he was excited!

Vanitas took a shower and checked the time: 7:25 AM. Their class would start at 9 and the bus they needed to get would be at the bus stop around 8:20. He still had time left to enjoy a nice and calm breakfast, rest a little more and then leave his house. A sleepy smile formed on his lips.

Xehanort wasn't there. Since he had gotten home yesterday, Vanitas didn't see him anywhere. That wasn't weird however; if he wasn't home on a friday night he'd certainly be getting drunk or having pleasure with women. Vanitas only asked where he used to go on fridays once in his life and the scolding he had suffered from the man taught him never to ask again. For that reason he didn't mind the absence of the adult and wouldn't complain if he only showed up at the end of the day.

After changing his clothes he went to the kitchen to put the water for his coffee to boil. Vanitas had just sat by the table to read the news on his cellphone when it rang. It was Ventus who called.

"Good morning, Vani!"

"Good morning, Ven!" Ventus sounded so enthusiastic!

"Just making sure you won't miss our first day at school!" He said in a playful tone.

"Me, missing our first day? Really?"

"Well, someone did oversleep before Struggle so..."

Vanitas laughed "You got me there. Have you had breakfast yet?"

"Having it now! You?"

"Waiting to make some coffee. I'll be leaving in a few minutes"

Suddenly the front door opened. Xehanort entered his home with a plastic bag in his hands, seemingly sober and turning around at once when he noticed his son was awake. Vanitas tightened his grip around the device.

"Okay! Should I wait for you at the bus stop?" Ventus asked happy. And then he heard another voice other than Vanitas', an exasperated one.

"Who are you talking to?"

"Yeah, see you" Vanitas was quick to reply and hung up before Ventus heard anything else, not aware that he already had, or that his father asked too much "No one. What do you got?"

"Bread and milk" The man answered, putting the bag on the table and staring to the boy from his head to his toes, realizing he was wearing clothing he usually didn't to stay home "Going somewhere?"

Vanitas stood up and went to check if the water was already hot. It still needed to boil a little more "Yes"

"Where?"

"Why would you like to know? It's not as if it matters" Vanitas said in a calm but low tone of voice. He never gave a damn about the places he went to, why today?

"Answer the question" Xehanort repeated, raising his voice. The raven didn't take his eyes off of the kettle with the water, not wanting to face his father now.

"I'm going out with my friends"

Xehanort started to laugh and it wasn't a simple one. He laughed out loud and with mockery, making Vanitas blush out of embarrassment.

"Friends? Please" The man took the stuff out of the bag "You don't have friends. You know that, you never had and you never will"

Vanitas tried not to give his father too much attention. It wasn't worth it to waste his time with him. It would be better to ignore him at the moment and he would have done it if it wasn't for what the man said next.

"Of course you're not talking about that blond boy who was with you on that stupid… What's the name? Struggle, is it?"

Vanitas widened his eyes and stopped moving at all. He… Did he know about Ven? And about the event? He had seen them there?!

"You're suddenly quiet, son" He continued "Yes… I was unlucky to see you wasting your time with that stupidity. Looking for a job, of course you are. Not only you do nothing useful, you still have the nerves to lie to me"

"I am trying!" Vanitas replied, hurt "You don't expected me to literally do it the entire day, do you?"

"I expect you to do it at least!" Xehanort was screaming "I expect you not to lie about what you're doing out there!"

"I paid the bill you asked me to, didn't I?" Vanitas retorted. Yes he had, working twice as much on the odd jobs he had got to pay for something his father should've paid a long time ago.

"You did… Being unemployed. Where did you get the money for that? Will you hide that from me as well?"

Vanitas frowned. He couldn't believe it "I did my best, okay? I got some odd jobs after sch- Look, I got the money, I don't understand why you're complaining. What, you think I'm selling drugs or something?"

"I'd expect no less from you"

"Expect no less from me, sure... Well, I'm not the one who can't even pay for what I drin-"

Xehanort put a hand on his shoulder and Vanitas instinctively shrunk a little. The man laughed again seeing his reaction, he could almost grasp his fear in the air "You better not be doing anything wrong boy, I've had enough of putting up with your shit!"

"What do you mean?" Vanitas asked without making a movement, still afraid and tense but trying not to let that show in his voice "You never had to deal with any of it. I don't… I don't even know why you still let me live here"

"Me neither. Maybe because then I can keep an eye on you, make sure you won't fuck your life up more than you already have" Xehanort pulled away from him "Anyway, do whatever the fuck you want. Just don't come home crying like a girl when your 'friends' leave you. No one can put up with you forever"

"At least I have someone who cares about me! Unlike… Unlike my own father" Vanitas said hesitant.

"What?"

"It's not my fault if you don't have anyone. All you do is complain. You're never happy with anything and then… And then you blame it all on me. In fact… Have you been watching me? Since when?"

Vanitas felt a deep dark anxiety grow inside him. He thought about Ventus, about what his father could say if he saw him with the boy. He felt scared, afraid that the man would mistreat Ven too just because he was with him. Many thoughts came to his mind and he couldn't hold back his words in the worry he felt.

"How is it possible… How is it possible for someone to be so ungrateful?" Xehanort exclaimed in a loud voice "My patience with you is wearing thin, Vanitas!"

"Mine already did a long time ago" He said, grabbing the kettle with the boiling water "This might be your house… A-And you might be my father, but I don't want you to control my life. I have as much right to have fun as y-"

It happened too fast. Xehanort walked to him and slapped his shoulder so hard that he let the kettle fall and a scream left his mouth when all the water fell on his right hand, his skin washed over by the scalding liquid. The boy bent forward, keeping his hand close to his stomach, groaning and holding in a second scream stuck in his throat.

"You don't! As long as you don't act like an adult should you have no rights whatsoever! You should at least thank me for keeping you safe here!"

Safe? _Safe?!_

Vanitas took a few steps back, his eyes full of painful tears, the sensation of dozens of needles on his skin making him shiver. The water was too hot, way too hot. He could barely think with his hand like that, feeling his already scarred skin pulsing, the urgent need to put it in the cold water stronger than anything else but Xehanort stood before him, stopping him from reaching the sink.

"O-Out of the way!" He said, trembling while keeping his hand protected under his body.

"What did you say?"

"Get out of my way!"

The man pushed Vanitas against the table, forcing him to lean against it so he wouldn't fall with the movement.

"You better watch your mouth!"

"I'm in pain, you burned my hand, **how can't you see th-**?!"

Vanitas heard a loud _crack_ rise up his skull and burst in his ears when his nose was broken. One hit was all it took, a single hit as Xehanort punched him, and it broke. Vanitas couldn't see anything for a few seconds and, still trying to hold himself against the table, feel on his knees next to it. His right hand, free of any burns, shakily moved to his nose and was soon stained by the blood that ran down his nostrils, the burned hand still throbbing close to his stomach.

Xehanort grabbed his hair "Say that again, you bloody brat! Look at me and say that again!"

The teen closed his eyes tight due to pain, due to hate but mostly due to sadness. There were tears in his eyes and they threatened to fall but he wasn't going to cry in front of that man, he refused to…!

"Look at me!" Xehanort demanded him to, so irritated with what Vanitas said that he only realized the boy was bleeding when he looked right to his eyes and then finally to his hand.

"Holy shit…!"

Vanitas let out a sorrowful laughter and looked up to the adult with gritted teeth "Is that all you have to say to me? I-Is that all? Look at what you've done and that's all you're going to say?!"

"Shut up!" Xehanort shouted, letting go of the boy with violence "Shut up!" If someone knows about this, boy, I swear- **Dry those tears!"**

Vanitas was already doing that, drying the damn tears that escaped his eyes with the back of his right hand, its palm dirty with blood from his nose, his vision blurry because of them.

"You look like a five year old! Look at you, how is this possible… Just look at what you've done! Now I'll have to take you to the hospital because you're not even old enough to take care of yourself!"

Vanitas felt his throat go dry, trying to stand up "Why… Why do you have to humiliate me like this?"

"Stop crying"

"It hurts, goddammit!"

"It will hurt even more if you don't shut your mouth and pull yourself together!" The man shouted, holding him by his shoulders and shaking him "What are the rules?"

"I'm not saying!" He'd keep at least that bit of dignity he had, at least-

"I asked you a question!"

"No!"

He was pushed again and this time actually hit his back on the table, whimpering. Vanitas sat on the floor, taking deep breaths while his father scolded him from somewhere above himself. He didn't stop until he was tired of shouting and then finally focused on his son again.

"Get in the fucking car! I'll take you to the hospital, waste my time with you there, so you better not say a word about this! Understood?"

Vanitas bit his own lips, eyes closed tight. Don't say a word about it. Don't say a word about it.

"Are you deaf?"

Vanitas stood up, walking with difficulty due to the sudden shock on his back, and went to the car. He struggled to open it and then sat on the back seat, laying his head against the window, both of his hands shaking and his nose still dripping blood, painful groans leaving his mouth. Xehanort took a few minutes to come, enough minutes for Vanitas to remember Ventus would be waiting for him at the bus stop. To remember today was supposed to be their first Music Class.

The tears were falling again.

 _No, no, no, stop-_

"Didn't I tell you to stop crying?" Xehanort asked once he got in the car and Vanitas shivered again, swallowing and drying his face with his shirt, marking it with blood and sweat. No complaining, no fighting back, no questioning, no crying, no complaining, no fighting back, no questioning, no crying, no-

As Xehanort started the car Vanitas closed his eyes, trying not to think while they drove through the streets as if what happened had been just an accident. Nothing more than that. An accident, Vanitas had burned his hand by himself, his father couldn't be the one who broke his nose, it was just...

Just another accident among some many others.

"... W-Why do you hate me so much?" Was all he managed to say under that unpleasant and terrifying silence.

He wasn't answered.


	36. Chapter 36

Ventus checked the time again: 8:15 AM. He had been waiting at the bus stop since 8 o'clock and Vanitas should've arrived by now but there was no sign of him. Ventus called him for the fifth time and for the fifth time he heard his phone ring unceasingly without being answered.

It was alright to be late, it was alright to even give up classes that day, but if that was the case Vanitas would warn him about it. What was really concerning was the voice he heard on the other side of the line.

That harsh voice could only belong to Xehanort. And Vanitas hung up so quickly when the adult spoke to him… Even the way he said goodbye was as if he was… Afraid?

Ventus took a deep breath, his uneasiness growing. Why didn't he answer the goddamn phone? What if something had happened? It was Vanitas who he was talking about and Vanitas hid things from him, things who seemed to be directly connected to his father. The blond hadn't told anyone about his suspicions because they were unfounded but he couldn't stop worrying about them now.

The boy sighed when he saw the bus arriving with Vanitas nowhere to be seen. He waited for the door to open and went up the stairs but stopped on the last step.

"I'm sorry, sir, wrong bus!" He said to the driver and got off, making his way back home. It would be useless to go like that, he wouldn't be able to focus on the class, and right now he really needed to know where Vanitas was and if he was okay.

As he entered his home he saw Roxas at the kitchen, looking like he had just woken up. Their mother was right after him, sleepy and still wearing her pajamas.

"Ven? Weren't you going to the Music School?" Roxas asked.

"Vanitas wasn't there! And he won't reply to my messages neither answer my calls!"

"That's strange… Didn't you talk to him during breakfast?" It was his mother.

"I… I did but then he hung up, like, really fast. I thought he was going to be there so I could ask what happened, but he wasn't!"

"What do you mean by hung up really fast?"

His father entered the kitchen, having listened to their worried tones and stood beside them.

"We were just chatting and then I heard… Someone enter his house and speak, he sounded angry. Then Vani said goodbye and hasn't talked to me since then" Ventus checked his device just in case Vanitas had called him now but he hadn't.

"Why didn't you tell us before, son?" The boy's mother asked, drying her hands.

"I thought… I thought that was just his father, I don't know, but now I'm worried mom!" Ventus put his backpack on the floor "Can't we go to his house, see if he's alright?"

"We don't know where he lives though..." Roxas said, not trying to put him down but it was the truth and Ven knew that. The youngest blond crossed his arms.

"Yeah, but we do know his street. I can ask someone about him, I don't care. I'm just… I've got a really bad feeling!"

"When was the last time you spoke?" His father asked.

"Around an hour ago"

"Are you sure he wasn't busy back then?"

"No, he told me he was making coffee and ready to meet me at the bus stop!"

"Alright. I'll take you there then, let's go" The man said promptly and Roxas followed, as worried as they were "We'll be right back"

"Maybe I should go with you?" The woman asked.

"It's alright. We'll be back soon"

As soon as their father started the car Roxas looked to his brother and although he didn't know about his thoughts on Vanitas' dad he could tell his worry couldn't be for nothing. Ventus held his cellphone close all the time in case Vanitas called him. Deep inside however he felt that wasn't going to happen.

His father turned the street corner and slowed down as they arrived at the neighborhood he lived in. The street was really quiet, save for some people sitting on the sidewalk who stared at them while speaking. Roxas gulped.

"We shouldn't stick around for too long. See how they stare at us?"

HIs father narrowed his eyes, searching for someone on the street who was alone. He saw a teenager smoking a few meters ahead and slowed even more.

"Dad-" Roxas called but Ventus was looking to her as well, anxious.

"Excuse me" Their father called "I'm sorry for bothering you, I just wanted to ask: Do you know someone around here called Vanitas?"

The girl raised a brow and smiled "Are you a friend of his?"

"I am" Ventus spoke and the girl looked to him "But I don't know where he lives. Could you tell me?"

"Ah, that's an easy one. You see that blue house over there? Number 13. I only know one Vanitas around and he definitely lives there. Although I don't think he's home at the moment"

Ventus widened his eyes "Do you know where he might be?"

"Not really. I saw him in the car with his father but I have no idea where they went"

The adult smiled with relief but Ventus shivered. It was his father who screamed at him back then and then they left without Vanitas even telling him to where? His stomach churned.

"Oh, if he's with his dad then he must be alright, son" The adult said but lost his smile when he saw how worried Ventus was.

"Y… Yeah. I hope so"

Both him and Roxas frowned in dismay as Ventus bit his lips. He must've looked really concerned but he hoped they didn't ask any questions he couldn't answer. Not yet.

"Well… We'll be going then. Thank you for your help" The man said and the girl nodded, throwing her cigarette on the trash and watching as they left. Chris sighed and looked to Vanitas' house as well, still hoping that wasn't blood she saw on Vanitas' face through the car window.

* * *

Xehanort kept his arms crossed over his chest all the time, watching as the doctor addressed the boy's nasal injury as minor. Thankfully his nose hadn't been displaced and after long painful minutes of waiting and checking he only prescribed him pain medication and nasal decongestant, encouraging him to wrap ice on a cloth and place it over the nose to help reduce the pain.

"If it continues to bleed stop using the decongestant and come see me again as soon as possible. Do not forget to elevate your head when you sleep"

The man continued. He had a soft voice, a really caring one, and looked to Vanitas as a proud but worried father should, unlike the one who was standing a few steps away from him. When he stopped he put a hand on the teenager's shoulder, smiling to him.

"It's a good thing that it isn't crooked, my boy" He looked down to Vanitas' hand, seeing as he was still holding the cool compress on it "Remember everything I told you and you'll be alright in no time"

Vanitas nodded but even that small movement seemed to hurt immensely. He looked and felt miserable as if his spirit had been crushed, and to an extend it really had. He just couldn't stop thinking about Ventus and how worried or angry he must be right now.

Once they left Xehanort took the lead, walking fast and talking about how he had lost half of his day there and how he'd have to buy painkillers for the boy. Vanitas hadn't said a word since they left his home and he wouldn't say anything else for a while. He only listened, listened from the moment they left the hospital to the moment they finally got home.

"I hope you learned your lesson" Xehanort said once they were inside and Vanitas lowered his gaze to see his cellphone on the table "Maybe now you'll think twice before disobeying me"

Vanitas swallowed but he wasn't paying attention to him anymore. He was staring to his device, seeing the many times Ven had called him, and a deep sadness filled his heart. He hated to let him down, and it destroyed him to feel the deep concern there was in each of Ven's messages.

The boy stared to his hand. He'd have to buy an ointment later and also more painkillers. He had already cooled the burnt area at the hospital, now he just needed to be careful while it healed. Make sure he didn't hurt it more than it already was. Sighing he went to his bedroom with the device in hand.

A few minutes while staring to the ceiling and trying to make sense of the void inside his head his phone rang again. Damn it, he forgot to tell Ventus he was home…

"Vani? Vani, can you hear me?" Ventus asked desperate from the other side of the line.

"Hi, Ven. I'm sorry, I-" Vanitas took a deep breath.

"Are you alright? You disappeared and I didn't tell me where you were! We went to your house and there was no one there!"

Vanitas turned pale. To… His house? Had they found out exactly where he lived?

"I'm alright, yeah" He struggled to said, struggled to lie without letting his anger or his melancholy show "I'm sorry, Ven"

"What happened? I heard someone talking to you-"

"Oh yeah, that… That was my dad" Vanitas swallowed dry, closing his eyes "He… There were some guys bothering him and I was stupid enough to get into a fight with them"

"A fight?"

"They got me by surprise, broke my nose and I had to rush to the hospital. I forgot my phone here, that's why-"

"They broke your nose?" Ventus exclaimed, alarming his parents and brother who were close to him "And how are you right now?"

"Oh, it's been put back" Vanitas said with an unwilling laughter "There's no need to worry about it now, it's just swollen"

"Vani..." Ventus held his breath. How could he not worry? "I'll ask my dad to take me there so I can see you, okay? It won't be a problem! Right, dad?"

Vanitas heard the adult agree, saying they would go immediately to check on him. In other circumstances he would have smiled. Staring to his burnt hand, he teared up again.

"Ah…. Now might not be a good time, Ven"

The boy went silent, his smile dropping.

"Not today, at least. I… I'll take the day off to rest, to recover from the hit and sleep a little bit. Alright?" The raven continued, saddened. He really wanted to see Ventus now but he couldn't risk with his father home. Besides, he really didn't feel well. It was better to recover instead of crying in front of the blond.

"Oh… Oh, sure, it's okay" Ventus finally replied after what felt like an eternity. He should remember that Vanitas was hurt and really should rest. Still… "Let's keep talking then. When you wake up that is"

"Sure. I'll send you a message when I'm up" Vanitas smiled softly. He knew he couldn't hide forever but he could avoid talking about that at least for now.

"Right… Take care, okay?"

"Leave it to me"

Vanitas hung up and turned his phone off, shooting a quick glance to his plushie which now stood next to Ventus' Wayfinder. His inner child must be so ashamed of him, stuck in there after so much happened and after so long.

He turned on the bed, groaning. He would try to sleep even if a little, hoping the pain would subside until he woke. Bothered, Vanitas closed his eyes and forced himself to sleep until he finally did it.

At the twins' house, their parents looked at Ventus intrigued. The boy returned their look.

"He… He said he got into a fight and broke his nose"

"God… And how is he?"

"He said he's fine. But said it wasn't a good idea to see us today 'cause he's going to rest for now"

The four of them were quiet for a few seconds and Ventus rubbed his palms on his neck, distressed. Roxas lowered his gaze.

"He said he's fine but you don't think he is. Right, brother?"

The youngest agreed. Something about that wasn't right, he felt it. He needed to find out what it was. He needed to make Vanitas tell him, but how?

To make matters worse, on the following day Vanitas barely talked to him. He sent him a message saying he didn't feel well and nothing more. Ventus tried calling him during the afternoon, but his cell phone was turned off. There was relief in knowing he was at his home but there was also worry for the same reason.

Monday. Ventus still kept the routine he followed on weekends; that said, he woke up earlier than everyone in the house, went out to buy some bread and made the coffee, setting the table and waiting for his mother and brother to join him.

"So?" His mother asked after wishing them a good morning "How is he?"

"He said he's fine" Ventus replied, taking a sip from his cup of coffee with milk "But I still don't believe that. I… I just never thought he would avoid me like he's doing"

"Don't feel bad for that" Roxas said "I'm sure he really wants to see you, but he must be afraid of something… For whatever reason"

"Why don't you tell him to come here today?" His mother suggested with a smile "Tell him I was the one to invite him to spend the afternoon with us. I could bake a cake. What's his favourite flavour?"

"Hmm… I don't know. I never really asked"

"Oh but you should! He's more than your friend now, son. You need to know these things"

Ventus turned red and even Roxas blushed, lowering his head without taking his eyes off the bread he was eating. Their mother laughed at their reaction but it was a caring laughter.

"Come on, you two! You're no longer kids to hide those things from me. I can't say it isn't kind of obvious, but still!"

"Mom!" Ventus covered his face with both hands and she laughed even more. Roxas soon joined her and what could have been an uncomfortable subject turned into a gleeful talk over breakfast. Until they finished the twins were already chatting and casually talking about Vanitas and Axel.

"Alright then! I'll find out which one he likes better then I can help you with it, mom!" The younger boy said while he did the dishes and Roxas dried it.

"Very well. I'll be waiting. But you two better really help me, uh?"

"Two?" Roxas looked to his brother with a smug expression "I don't remember agreeing with this. He's your boyfriend, not mine!"

"We're not-"

* * *

Vanitas woke up at 6 o'clock on monday. He really didn't want to leave the bed and tried to fall back into sleep to no avail. His hand hurt and his nose was giving him a headache. The teen lay on his bed for as long as he could before standing up, slightly nauseous for taking a painkiller with an empty stomach, and stumbled towards the bathroom, leaning on the sink and throwing as much water as he could on his face.

He stared to his reflection on the mirror. His exhaustion was apparent but this time it wasn't just a physical one. He couldn't stop thinking for one second and even while sleeping he had messy and confusing dreams. Vanitas hated himself for still getting so worked up with what his father did to him, but he couldn't help it and all that was left was to accept that weakness of his. Minutes later he was at the kitchen, once more waiting for the water to boil for his coffee while his father was still sleeping. Better safe than sorry.

After drinking on the sidewalk and smoking four cigarettes he went inside again. Xehanort was in the living room by then but didn't even look to him. It was as if he wasn't there, as if he didn't even exist. And yet Vanitas knew Xehanort was watching his every single move.

Returning to his bedroom, the teenager considered going outside to distribute his resumés again but the mere thought stressed him out. He grumbled irritated while going through the folder where he kept them but stopped when his cell phone vibrated. He picked it up, guilt splattered all over his face.

 **Ventus**  
 _"Hi Vani :3 My mom is gonna bake a cake for today's afternoon and told me to ask you what's your favourite flavour. We're waiting for you here today! You better don't disappoint her, uh? :P" - 7:03 AM_

Vanitas inhaled deeply. He wouldn't be able to escape him forever. Of course Ventus was going to ask what happened, of course he would want details and, for the first time in his life, Vanitas feared not being able to lie. He wished he could talk about that, to tell everything to the boy but at the same time he knew it was better to keep his mouth shut. _Don't say a word about it_ because he didn't know how that would affect their relationship or even what Ventus would think of him. The boy was way too good, it wasn't fair to put him in such a chaotic life like his own.

 **Vanitas** **  
**_Your mother's food is always amazing, Ven. I'll accept the cake but you can choose the flavor - 7:10 AM_

 **Ventus**  
 _Teheee, she'll be happy to hear that :D - 7:10 AM  
_ _We'll be waiting for you then! - 7:11 AM_

 **Vanitas  
** _Okay. I'll be there! - 7:15 AM_

 **Ventus**  
 _Yay :3 - 7:15 AM  
_ _3 - 7:15 AM_

Ventus… Why was it so hard to lie to him? Why did it hurt to hide things from the boy even if he had hid them from everyone his entire life?

 **Vanitas**  
 _3 - 7:27 AM_

It was around 1 PM when Vanitas went to the twins' house. He took a deep breath and knocked on the door, waiting with his hand behind his waist. He could at least say hi without making a fuss…

"Vanitas! Come in, sweetheart" The boy's mother invited him as she opened the door. Since she made no comments about his swollen nose he imagined Ventus had already told everyone about that and he didn't know if that was a good or a bad thing "Ventus will be coming soon and Roxas is in the living room"

"Excuse me" He greeted her and she, as she always did, brought him closer in an embrace. Vanitas returned it, noticing how much he was craving for one, and went to talk to Roxas.

"Hey!" Roxas waved to him and then looked to his right hand "Ouch, what happened?"

"Hot water" The raven said as if it was nothing. Seconds later he heard a well know voice behind him and Ventus' hurried steps as he came down the stairs.

"Vani!" The blond jumped on him, hugging him tight enough to leave him out of breath.

"Agh, Ven-!"

"Sorry" Ventus smiled with glee but then his eyes too widened as they fell over Vanitas' hand "Vani, oh my God, what happened?!"

"Relax, blondie!" Vanitas ruffled his hair with his other hand "It's just a burn"

"But it looks bad!"

"I've never seen a good looking burn, that's for sure" He shrugged and Ventus rolled his eyes, making him laugh "I was making coffee and got distracted. Nothing special"

"When did that happen?" Ventus questioned, thinking about saturday.

"Yesterday morning"

"And why didn't you tell me anything?!"

Roxas chuckled and stood up, walking into the kitchen to get himself some water. His mother followed.

"Boys, boys, you can fight later. Come here, Vanitas, we just finished the cake!"

Vanitas poked Ventus' nose "Relax. It's just a common burn. Really"

The boy crossed his arms and frowned, but decided to let that go - For now - and smiled "Right, right… Let's eat now and then you can give me a better excuse"

"Better excuse!" Vanitas repeated, walking with the boy into the kitchen and sitting by the table, amazed by the smell of the apple cake. Ventus had asked his family not to say anything regarding Vanitas' absence or about what had happened to him. They didn't; instead they decided to discuss their plans for vacation.

"There's a waterfall on the road to Traverse Town which is awesome! We always go there for camping, at least once in the year" Roxas told him while drinking his juice.

"Traverse Town?" Vanitas felt a sting of nostalgia hit him again "I was born there. It was where I spent most of my childhood"

"Really? And you've never heard of the waterfall?"

"Can't say I have, no"

"There are always people there, we usually go with a couple of friends. We considered going this month since you're all free from school" Their mother said, smiling.

"That sounds good"

"We still don't know if we're gonna make it this month though… But whenever we do, we hope you can come with us!" Ventus said. Vanitas looked to him and then to the woman.

"That's right. We want everyone to go, it'll be fun! A family trip!"

Vanitas widened his eyes, speechless. Family trip? Did they really consider him part of their family? But it had been only a few months since...

"You're welcome here anytime, Vanitas. You should really come with us" She said. Vanitas gaze went from one to the other, uncertain about what to say, about what to feel. He was quiet for a few seconds until he smiled and let out a shy chuckle.

"Sure! I'll help you with anything you need! You just need to ask me and I'll do it"

"You could keep an eye on Ven; he behaves like a kid when we're playing in the water" Roxas joked and Ventus glared at him with a laugh. Vanitas joined them, thinking. It was insane how well he felt whenever he was with them. It was almost absurd; did he even have the right to feel this way?

When they were done eating and cleaning the kitchen Roxas and his mother went to the living room. Vanitas didn't mean to stay there for too long that day but Ventus asked him and ran up the stairs, leaving him with no choice but to follow.

As soon they entered his bedroom Ventus closed the door, threw himself on the bed and hugged his Chirithy "Come here, stay with us for a bit"

Vanitas shook his head with a silly smile and walked to him, sitting by his side. The younger boy held his burnt hand with care, staring to it and caressing its palm in silence. None of them said anything for a while so Ventus looked to him.

"What happened? What did you get into a fight for?"

Vanitas huffed; that tone of deception in the blond's voice saddened him "They were bothering my dad. He came inside, asked me to do something about it"

"But why you and not him? I know you're strong but he's the adult!"

"He didn't ask me to fight. He just… Wanted me to talk, I guess. But you know me"

The blond turned his attention to his hand again, thoughtful. There was a tangible hesitation on Vanitas' voice.

"How were they bothering… Exactly?" The boy insisted, staring to Vanitas and this time not looking away "I mean, what were they doing that your father had to call you?"

Vanitas paused for a few seconds "They're like Max and his friends, I guess"

"But I thought they went to your father first?"

"Yeah, well, they always find a way to get to me. They've done the same with you once, you know that" Vanitas said while avoiding his gaze. He was feeling cornered and felt that was exactly what Ventus wanted, which made him feel really uncomfortable.

"But why? What did you do to them?"

"I don't know, I've done so many things in my life" The raven laughed but there was nothing funny in his words "Believe me, my neighborhood isn't a good place to live at, I've done a lot of bad stuff growing up. That's why I don't want you going there without warning me, it's dangerous"

"Don't change the subject" Ventus said and he didn't sound angry but concerned. He held Vanitas' other hand, tightening his grip around it "Vani… Look at me"

Vanitas frowned and did as he was asked, surprised by how intently the boy stared to him.

"Ventus, listen-"

"Please, don't lie to me"

"Lie? Lie about what?"

"You are… You are hiding something, aren't you? You've been hiding something from me for a long time"

"Why would I hide anything from you?" Vanitas now glared back at him. He was feeling threatened and he hated that sensation. He didn't want it to continue, it couldn't or else he might lose control again!

"Because… I don't why Vani, but please, tell me the truth. Who hurt you like this?"

"I already told you who it was, Ventus. It's not my fault if you don't believe me" The other replied harshly and stood up.

"What about your hand? You didn't burn it yesterday, did you? It happened on the same day you broke your nose, wasn't it?" Ventus continued exasperated, desperate.

"I don't know why you're doing this but I don't want to hear it anymore. I better go" Vanitas said and walked away, determined to leave. He didn't want to hear that, he wouldn't and he was about to open the door when Ventus spoke.

"It was Xehanort, wasn't it?!"

Vanitas stopped with his hand on the door handle, feeling the color from his face fade and his body freeze. In a slow motion he turned to Ventus without getting away from the door.

"Xe… No. No, of course not! What are you talking about, Ventus?!" He asked sounding extremely hurt. Of course he was lying, no matter how angry he sounded, and the younger boy noticed that.

"V-Vani..." He got up, his hands shaking and his heart racing, fear and sadness in Vanitas' eyes in a way he had never seen before "Vani, I just want to help you. Please, tell me the truth. Was your father the one who hurt you?"

"W… Why do you think that? It's not… It's not like you father does this to you for you to think such a thing! Who said this to you?"

"Was it him?" The boy insisted, trembling. Vanitas glared to him in silence, his stomach turning while he tried to associate what was happening. Ventus had figured it out or at least paid enough attention to see the signs. Ventus had known something was amiss since the beginning but Vanitas never expected him to find out about it like this. The raven swallowed dry and, after what felt like an eternity, pulled away from the handle and stared down to his own feet.

"Disgraceful, isn't it?"

Ventus's heart missed a beat and he held his hands together, eyes wide in shock. Vanitas stopped denying it, he was confirming it! But Ventus never wanted that to be true, never…

"An almost adult like me, a damn 17 year old..." Vanitas clenched his teeth, nails digging against his palm "An almost adult who's afraid of going back home. Who's… Who's afraid of sleeping in his own bedroom. An idiot!"

Ventus didn't know how to react. He just stood there, his heart pounding on his chest, listening but wishing he wasn't. The older boy continued, feeling his throat go dry. Stop talking, he told himself. Stop talking. _Don't say a word about it!_

"No wonder I can't do anything I want! No wonder I'm a no one! All those years and I can't even bring myself to do something! All this time and I still can't react when he does whatever he wants with me!"

"V..."

"I should already be used to this but no. I always let myself be shaken by every little stupid thing! I look like a five year old, haven't changed a bit in my entire life!"

"Vani, calm d-"

"I told you once that it wouldn't be alright, nothing would ever be alright! Because no matter how much I hide, no matter how many times I lie to myself, I know I am weak because of this! I know that no matter what I do nothing will change because it never did! No matter what I do for him, no matter how much I try to please him, I never meant shit to him and I never will! And… And it's useless to try and 'comfort' me because when I get home it will mean nothing either!"

He glared to Ventus breathing deep and uncontrollably. And Ventus didn't take his eyes off him as the same scene from months ago repeated itself before him but this time he knew the reason why. And this time, Vanitas managed to stop.

The raven turned around to face the door and ran his trembly hand through his dark strands "Look… L-Look at me. I'm doing it again. Why do I always take it out on who's most important to me? You do everything for me and what do I give you in return?"

"Vani..."

"I can't even control what I feel. Must be the reason why I always end up alone, he said it was gonna happen again as he was right! Nothing but… Nothing but a burden for everyone!" He lowered his tone of voice "What are you thinking right now? When you look a me, how strong is the shame that you feel? How… How repugnant do you think-"

Then he felt arms circling around him and said nothing more. Ventus hugged him tightly, lay his head on his back and closed his eyes.

"Stop! Stop putting yourself down like this! S-Stop… B-Blaming yourself…"

Vanitas didn't move, feeling Ventus' embrace tightening without returning it. He felt ashamed and scared. He wanted no one to know about this but it was too late now. The two kept their silence and Ventus, his eyes full of tears, spoke in a low tone.

"What… What happened and… And w-why?"

Vanitas hesitated to answer "... I argued with him. I was holding the kettle, he hit my shoulder and I couldn't pull my hand in time. I wanted to put it in the water but he stood before me and I shouted at him. It was when..."

A tear left Ventus' eye "S… S-Since when…?"

"... I don't know. My entire life?" He laughed unwillingly "I don't remember anymore"

"No... " Ventus let go of him "Vani, look at me, please"

The older boy turned to him it but couldn't look directly into his eyes. He wanted to disappear. He wanted…

"Why didn't you tell me before?" The boy asked, reaching for his burnt hand again and holding it with caution and care "W-Why?"

"Because I'm afraid"

"Afraid of what? Vani..."

"Afraid of being looked at differently. Afraid… Afraid of losing any importance I have"

"Who knows? Who knows about this?"

"Except me, my father, Max and his buddies? Only you now"

The blond lowered his gaze. How could Vanitas say that in such a cold way? How could he ignore that, how could he let that happen for so long?

"You need help! Vanitas, he hurt you, you need-"

"No, I don't. It won't be too long now, just a little bit when I'll come of age then I will finally be free to leave the house without problems!"

"Come of ag-"

"I've endured it until now, Ven. Only… Only a few more months and then I'll-"

"Endured it until now! This shouldn't even have happened!"

"But it did, didn't it? It happened and it's pointless to suffer for it anymore"

"But Vanitas-"

"Someone already tried to help me, okay? And… And it only made things worse. I don't need that to happen again"

What could he say? Throughout his childhood that was all he knew. It was completely normal for his father to be the only one who didn't ask about his day, who never went out with him, who didn't care. It was normal. It was expected! And when he understood exactly what was happening it was already too late and he no longer wanted to change that, he shouldn't. He should only be grateful for having a place to live in. He should be grateful for being alive!

Ventus started to tremble and other tears fell down as he thought and remembered… Remembered the first day when he helped Vanitas with the glass on his shoulder. Remembered the countless scars, one worse than the other, that covered his back.

"V… V-Vani, your scars..."

"Please, don't make me talk about that. It's bad enough as it is"

"Don't… Don't tell me..."

"Yes, Ven, it was him!" Vanitas replied nervously, hating the situation he was in and hating himself "It was all him, some… Some of them I made myself, but the others were him. Because I wouldn't obey. Because I didn't do what he asked me to. Because I..."

 _Because I broke a plate. Because I didn't clean the house as good as he wanted me to. Because one day I didn't follow the rules and screamed in pain when he punched me to the floor and instead of stopping he continued and made me repeat them again and again and..._

Ventus couldn't stop his tears. He didn't want to believe it but it had always been clear to him that Vanitas was in danger! And there was the confirmation and there was Vanitas talking about it was if it was no big deal. He had never looked so fragile before and it wasn't only because of the way he spoke but also because of the way he stared to Ventus. He looked to him as if apologizing.

He looked to him as if apologizing.

"Vani… I… I don't want you to suffer alone. I want to help you and I will if you let me but you have to trust me!"

"Ven, I trust you more than I trust anyone. You don't need to worry about this"

"But why? Did you really think… That I was going to judge you? O-Or that I'd look at you differently? It's not your fault!"

"How can you say that?" Vanitas asked, tearing up "How can you be so sure that it's not my fault? My mother wanted to get rid of me! She didn't give a damn but I was an idiot and asked her to come back home everyday! No one ever got close enough to me, not as I wanted them to, and I still don't understand why my father has put up with me for so long!"

"That's not true… You weren't an idiot for caring, Vanitas! Your mother didn't leave because of you, you're not guilty of anything!"

Vanitas pressed his lips together, running a hand on his face and looking away once again "How can I really believe that?"

"Stop holding it in. You don't have to be strong all the time, Vanitas"

He took a deep breath and looked to the boy "If I'm not, I won't be able to go back home, Ven"

The two looked to one another without sharing any words for a while. Ventus expected him to say something but, seeing as he wouldn't, approached and touched his face.

"I'm sorry" Vanitas apologized "I'm so sorry. I didn't want it to be like this. I didn't want this, you don't have to worry about it, you don't"

"I want to take care of you. Let me… Let me try, Vani!"

"I just… I just need to live by myself. It's about time, I need to find a job, rent a house where I can live once I'm out of my father's home!"

Ventus wanted to do something immediately. He wanted to ask more things and to know everything, but he didn't want to press Vanitas further than he already had. He wanted him to feel well. He wanted him to feel safe.

"You don't have to do all of this alone. There are people who want to help. I want to help!"

"Why bother? When the time comes it will come to end. There's… There's no need to get upset. In a way or another, it'll come to an end"

"Don't say it like that..." Ventus said with care, drying the silent tears that started to run down Vanitas' cheeks "I'll do anything I can, I just don't want you to s-suffer, Vanitas. You're important to me! You're important to all of us!"

Ventus hugged him again and this time Vanitas returned it. He rested his head on the boy's shoulder and closed his eyes, no longer able to hold his tears anymore. He knew had to leave but didn't want to. He wished he could stay there frozen to that moment because on that little moment, safe in Ventus' arms, his heart didn't hurt as much. On that little moment, their hearts beating as one, he felt he was worth something.

"It will be alright. I-I promise! We'll figure it out together, okay?"

On that little moment, he allowed himself to believe.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** **Hello everyone! I hope you're enjoying the fic so far. Also, it's always a good idea to check the trigger warnings again!**

 **I wanted to tell you that the next chapter might take 3 weeks to be posted. The reason why is that I'll be rewriting the first 9 chapters of Fledging Emotions in the next 2 weeks. I've noticed people have stopped reading it because of how bland the first chapter is which, of course, really saddens me but is still my fault anyway. There won't be new content, mind you; I'll just try to make the description of the scenes more complete and enjoyable. My writing has changed a lot since I first started it and while I don't really love it nowadays it is better than it was before. So once chapter 37 is posted, feel free to go to the first ones and check them if you'd like ^^ Thank you for reading!**


	37. Chapter 37

They couldn't tell how long they stood there, Vanitas clinging to the younger boy as tears streamed down his face, but they eventually pulled apart and returned to the bed. It took Vanitas a few more seconds before he calmed down, holding his hands together and sniffling, and stared down to the floor without saying another word. Ventus sat beside him and let him lean on him while his breathing slowed down.

"Isn't… Isn't there anyone else you can live with?"

"No. I don't really have any contact with my father's family. And my mother, she… She had another son. She has her own family to worry about"

Ventus lowered his gaze and Vanitas sighed, pulling away. His head was pounding and he couldn't help but feel ashamed for crying like this, before Ventus nonetheless! He ran his fingers through his dark strands unsure of what to do when Ventus held his burned hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it as gently as he could.

"You said… You're afraid of sleeping? Vani, did he-" Ventus wanted to stop asking questions but he was so anxious to do something that he couldn't help himself. Vanitas turned his gaze away.

"He hurt me before. When I was sleeping, he's done it a few times. It's been a while now, years even, but I don't trust his mood"

Ventus swallowed and held his own tears back. He felt torn and distressed for not being able to help him sooner. Looking at him now it was obvious how tired, how exhausted Vanitas was, and now that everything made sense he just wished none of that was real.

Once Vanitas finally looked to him again Ventus put his arms around him and slowly pulled him so both lay on the bed, a deep silence between them. Ventus touched his face, caressing his cheeks with his thumb.

"You know… You don't have to be afraid when you're here. No one's gonna bother you if you sleep and… And I'll be right beside you so I'll take care of you" Ventus said and it was Vanitas' turn to hold back more tears. What had he done to deserve someone like Ventus? What had he…

"I can sleep Ven. It just… Takes a while. You shouldn't worry that much"

"No, I mean it. You… You can rest as much as you need. Even if takes a while, I'll stay with you. And I'll be here when you wake up too".

"Ven..."

Ventus smiled and continued to caress his cheek before snuggling closer to him, sharing not only his warmth but also his calm with the raven haired boy. Vanitas let him and as bad as he felt for letting Ventus know just how weak he was he liked the closeness and the affection, allowing himself to enjoy the silence. Besides Ventus' low breathing any other sound was inaudible and he managed to relax in a matter of minutes. Feeling the younger boy closing his fingers on his shirt, Vanitas closed his eyes with no expectations and not too long after gave in to his exhaustion.

The day would soon turn into night and it was around sunset that Vanitas opened his eyes unsure of where he was. He felt uneasy when he didn't recognize his room until he saw Ventus sleeping and holding onto him and remembered where he was.

Ventus was so cute. He had seen him sleeping before when they went to Disney Town and even on their small picnic in his yard, but right now he was actually deep asleep. It felt warm and good to have him this close, so Vanitas tried his best not to move and wake him up. Minutes later however he needed to go to the bathroom and so he had to.

"Hey..." He booped the boy's nose. Ventus moved a little but continued to sleep until Vanitas called for his name and he slowly opened his eyes.

"Hmm… Hm?" The blond lifted his head to stare to the yellow eyes that watched him and that he was so fond of "Hi, Vani"

Vanitas returned Ventus' smile and let him sit and stretch before leaving the bed. The boy rubbed his eyes and turned to him.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Never better" Vanitas said and ruffled Ventus' hair "What a mess"

"I know, right? My hair always looks like this after I sleep. But I'm used to it" He added with a shrug and Vanitas shook his head. He couldn't say much though, his hair was also pretty wild.

After he went to the bathroom Vanitas came back to find the bed already made and Chirithy sitting on the pillow. Ventus hugged him.

"You're so warm!" He said, hiding his face on his chest.

"Yeah, well, there was a Ventus on me. How could I not be warm after that?"

They laughed, both still sleepy, and finally went downstairs. Roxas was reading a book on the living room and their parents had gone to the supermarket. They greeted each other and Ventus was about to ask Vanitas if he'd like to stay for dinner when he said it was time to leave.

Only then Ventus thought about what he now knew and felt his stomach churn.

"A… Are you sure? Why don't you stay a while longer?" He asked, his worry not going unnoticed by Roxas. Vanitas answered as if nothing had happened.

"I do want to stay but it's pretty late. I can come back tomorrow if you'd like?"

Ventus nodded slowly and just watched while Vanitas said goodbye to Roxas with a calm expression on his face. How many times had he put on that face while he crumbled on the inside?

Just like every time, once they were outside the boys sat on the sidewalk and stood together for a few more minutes. Ventus swallowed dry.

"Vani… Can you promise me something?"

"... What?"

Ventus took a deep breath "If something happens… And by something I mean anything… You'll tell me right away. Maybe I can't help you immediately but I... You don't have to go through it all alone. Okay?"

Vanitas didn't take his eyes off the street, too many things going through his mind at the moment, and after what felt like ages he turned to the boy and held both of his hands.

"Only if you promise something as well" Ventus frowned but then pressed his lips together. He knew what Vanitas was going to ask "You won't talk about this to anyone. Not our friends, not even with your parents or… Or you brother. No one"

"Vanitas..."

"Just for now" He continued but his voice was filled with hurt and hesitation "Ven, I know you want to help me but… Try to understand. You're the one I trust the most in this world but I'm still not comfortable with you knowing about this"

The boy lowered his gaze. He didn't know what to do; there was no way he could help him by himself, especially because he denied needing help in the first place. He could support him, he could give him advices, but without actually taking action nothing would change and he couldn't allow that to happen!

"I trust you Ventus, and I'm… I'm grateful. But this… This is hard for me. When the time comes, I'll do something about it but now-"

"And when will this time come?"

"In two months. When I turn 18" He replied, almost begging Ventus to forgive him for giving such an unsatisfactory answer "Maybe even before, I don't know, but not now"

The night already hovered over them and the air was getting colder by the minute. Ventus let go of his hand and Vanitas feared that he might had angered the boy, but Ventus wasn't angry. He was worried. He didn't want him to leave.

"Just… For now. Until we decide on what to do" Ventus said without looking to him.

"That's right. Until… We decide on what to do"

There was an awkward sensation in the air. Vanitas turned to the street again, staring into nothingness and suffocated by the thoughts that started to roam in his mind, anxiety taking over him. Ventus didn't say anything, unaware of the sensation that doing this was causing and only when Vanitas spoke was that he noticed.

"Listen, I'll… I'll understand"

"Understand…?" Ventus looked to him.

"If… If you want to stay away from me. I know this isn't your problem and it's unfair for you to have to deal with this when it's my business"

"W… What do you mean, what are you talking about?"

"You wouldn't be the first one to leave me after all. Really, it's… It's okay if you do. I will understand. You don't have to deal with this burden"

When Ventus saw him for the first time at school he hadn't seen any of that. He hadn't seen what was behind that bored and irritated look Vanitas gave to him, he didn't feel the discomfort in any word he muttered back then. Back to when they first met, he didn't notice how he was, covered by doubt and fear.

"Vani, I'm not leaving you because of this nor anything! I would never leave you alone!"

Vanitas laughed unwillingly and Ventus held his face in his hands, making him look at him "I don't know what happened or… Or who left you behind before, but I'm not doing that. No matter what happens, I'll always be right here. And I… I want to make you happy, Vani!"

"... So you'll promise me what I asked you to?" Vanitas asked, his face burning with shame. Ventus was offering his support to him and yet all he could ask was if he could make that promise?

"… Okay. I promise. But only for now and when we know what to do we'll talk to someone who can help!"

"Right" Vanitas nodded thankful. The two stood up and finally said their goodbyes, Ventus taking longer to let go of him. He wanted to keep him safe but there was no way he could do that now and that was the worst part.

Seeing Vanitas walk farther and farther away to the end of the street all he could think of was how downcast he looked and how sad he sounded, and with each thought Ventus felt his nervousness and worry grow in his heart. Would Vanitas be in trouble for getting home late? Would his father force him into doing something? How did he manage to keep that to himself his entire life?

As soon as he entered his home Ventus walked straight to the stairs. The moment he put his foot on the first step however Roxas called him.

"Brother?"

"Yeah, Rox?"

"Is everything alright? You sounded pretty… Worried" He paused "Did something happen?"

Ventus' fingers closed around the handrail and he bit his lower lip, glad Roxas couldn't see his face "It's… Complicated. There's something Vanitas is hiding from me and… I don't know what to do about it"

He heard Roxas close his book "Didn't he tell you anything though? Haven't got a clue?"

"... No. But I'll keep on trying. He just… He looks so tired, doesn't he?"

"He does… But well, he likes you. He's bound to tell you I guess. And, brother?"

"Yeah?"

"If you need help with that, just let us know. Alright? He's, uh… Part of the family now. No need to deal with it alone"

Ventus smiled to himself. Despite everything that had happened and how much Roxas seemed to dislike Vanitas in the beginning, he sounded serious. He could be trusted to know about Vanitas' problems. Ventus just wished he could tell him about it.

"Thank you, brother"

A really bad feeling settled itself deep down in his stomach.

* * *

Vanitas walked straight to his bedroom, ignoring whether his father was home or not. He hadn't seen him there but even if he did Vanitas really didn't feel like talking to him. He didn't feel like talking to anyone. He picked his pack of cigarettes from the bedside table and left again, litting one as he walked around his neighborhood, breathing in the drug, breathing out whatever good air he still had left. He walked aimlessly, thinking, thinking, smoking and coughing as his heart raced.

Stupid, stupid, _stupid_! Why did the tell Ventus about it? **Why**? There was no guarantee that he wouldn't tell anyone else about it and he couldn't really blame him for it. And even if he didn't tell anyone he would obviously ask more and more as time went by, out of worry of course but the reason didn't really matter. Vanitas felt exposed, as if he was naked for everyone to see his damn scars and the blood of his father that would always run through his veins.

His heart was racing, pounding against his chest, his breathing already harsh and sweat covering his skin. Shaking, grumbling to himself, _why did you tell him_?

He sat on a bench a few squares away from home and stood there, his hand naturally moving to that one wound on his back, nails scratching on his skin. Scratch, scratch, scratch. Second cigarette of the night, the scratching stopped and he coughed, trying to get a hold of himself. Nails eager to dig into it again, he bit his tongue to remind himself of the pain. Stop. He could hear his heart beating on his skull, it was frightening but he had already felt that before, his damn never ending anxiety holding onto him like the monster that it was.

Fourth cigarette. He hid his face in his hands, breathing. In and out. In and out. His throat went dry and his eyes welled but he held it all in. He was used to it. He was-

 _Damnit, what if Ventus tells someone?_

Vanitas coughed again. Ventus wasn't the only one who knew, yeah. Chris also knew, just like Robert, and nothing had happened until now. Ephemera…Who cared about him, he probably hadn't even read his letter anyway, and that was years ago. Now Ventus…

He didn't know how long he stood there on that bench, alone in the dark and the cold of the night. He didn't know how long he thought he was about to die because his breathing just wouldn't slow down and his head felt as if about to explode. He didn't know but he knew he was tired of feeling like that, tired of being so afraid and now he had just made it all worse!

Standing up, staggering back to his home, Vanitas went inside and into the shower, only then cleaning the blood from his nails and his back. He leaned against the wall, let the water wash away his fears uselessly, and finally went to his bedroom again. Vanitas locked the door and picked his cellphone to turn it off when he saw a new message. He read it and, unable to respond, lay on his bed with both hands on his head.

 _Don't be afraid, okay? We'll figure this out, together!_

 _I will never leave you_

* * *

It was 6AM. There was almost no one on the street that day, except for those who had to work early. Vanitas enjoyed the empty streets and the fact that there as no one to bother him at this hour of the day.

He lifted the cup of coffee to his lips, taking a glance to his hand. It was healing fast now but the reminder of how it happened didn't leave his mind nor it would for a long time. Shaking his head, the boy put another cigarette in his mouth again, aware that he had smoked more than usual yesterday but too tired to care at the moment. He wanted to stop but right now he would probably go mad if he didn't have it to calm down his nerves for a bit.

One hour later Vanitas finally went inside again. He got himself another cup of coffee and returned to his bedroom, thinking about what to do despite the headache that bothered him.

There was a lump in his throat however as he checked his phone. He still hadn't replied to Ventus' message and he knew he wouldn't. It just… Felt like a lie to him. He knew he shouldn't doubt Ven, and deep inside he didn't, but for how long would he endure? Those problems weren't his to care about, they were Vanitas' only and yet it was obvious that he would be worried all the time.

Ventus was too good for him. For his own peace of mind, perhaps it would be best if he left him.

However the mere thought of Ventus leaving him made him feel sick. Vanitas put a hand on his head. Since when had he become so dependent?

His cell phone rang. Even before checking he knew it was Ventus and confirmed it seconds later. Staring down to the screen, Vanitas closed his eyes. He wanted to tell him everything. To let him know every little detail of why his mind was so fucked up. Of why he felt so broken all the time. Of why he thought and felt like he deserved everything that happened to him. But those were his secrets, he couldn't and wouldn't-

"Good morning"

"Good morning, Vani!" Ventus sounded cheerful as ever. Why did he expect him to sound different? "Are you okay? Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Had a good night's sleep. You?"

"Me too! I dreamed we were back in Disney Town and my Chirithy was talking!"

"A talking stuffed cat. Sounds like a dream alright"

Ventus chuckled "Hey, so, Axel is coming here today for lunch. There won't be anything special really but I thought maybe you'd like to come?"

Vanitas bit back a sigh. He actually didn't feel like going out but he really wanted to see Ven. Or maybe he didn't. He was still ashamed, he wouldn't deny that, but he couldn't simply disappear like he wanted to.

"Uh, yeah, sure. At what time?"

"Lunch will be around 12 but you can come earlier if you want. Axel will be here at 10 so what's best for you really"

"Alright then. I'll be there"

"Really? Sweet! I'll be waiting then"

Vanitas smiled softly. Ventus always sounded so happy to see him… Even when he'd brought all those worries into his calm and peaceful life. It was unfair.

"Okay. See you, Ven"

"See ya!"

Vanitas stared down to the cellphone for a while longer before leaving his room and getting himself something to eat. Time seemed to be stuck, the clock's arms ticking at the speed of a slug. Vanitas stared to nothing in particular for long minutes, listening to his father come and go through the hall without saying a word, then choosing something for him to wear and laying on his bed until it was time to leave.

The thoughts remained. How he shouldn't have said anything, how Ventus would worry more than he should, how he regretted bringing more problems into the boy's mind. Still, he found it impossible not to smile when he saw the blond at the entrance of his home, waving and smiling to him. Had he waited all this time?

"Hey-"

"Hello!" Ventus hugged him tight.

"Hello" Vanitas gave the blond a caring pat on his back to what Ventus tilted his head "What?"

"Nothing" He said before standing on his tiptoes to give him a quick kiss. Vanitas blinked a few times in confusion. He had been so deep in his own thoughts that it had completely escaped him how sweet Ventus' kisses were. And how much he liked them.

"How's the burn?" The boy asked, holding his hand carefully and looking to it. Vanitas ignored him and this time cupped his head in his hands, giving him a gentle and deep kiss.

"It's better" He said once they pulled apart and Ventus chuckled. That was when the door opened and they found themselves before Axel, who wore a goofy smile.

"Hey there! Long time no see, Vanitas!"

Blushing more than Axel thought they would, Ventus and Vanitas went inside with him and joined the others at the living room. Greeting everyone, Vanitas sat next to Ventus while listening to everyone talk but he didn't pay too much attention to their words.

Instead, he was checking whether they were looking to him or not. Wondering if someone else knew about it.

The realization of what he was doing made him feel worse than before. Still, there was someone looking at him and that was the one who reached for his hand and now kissed it with care, his bright blue eyes shining before him. Vanitas smiled, thankful, and turned to the others once more. It was then that Axel cleared his throat and spoke.

"So… I have some good news. My graduation ceremony will be happening in two weeks, 7PM at Radiant Garden! I would be really happy if everyone could go so… You're all invited!"

Except for Roxas who already knew about that, everyone was surprised but they all smiled for him. After what felt like a never ending battle with college it was finally over! And of course he wanted to celebrate with those who were important to him!

"That's amazing! Of course we're going!" The twins' father said, excited. Their mother shared his excitement.

"Thank you! And I… You know, I really wanted everyone to go. Our friends from school?" He looked to the teenagers "All of them were so nice with me when I was there! And you're all really special to me. I wanted to take everyone but for that I'd need your help"

"What can we do?" The woman asked.

"I thought I could come here by car so I could take four people with me. But the rest of them would have to go with you . If that's not a problem of course. You're like my family! And I really want you to meet my parents too"

"Vani, Xion and I could go on our car. Then you, Rox, Sora, Riku and Ienzo am go on yours. It's perfect" Ventus said and looked to his parents, hoping they would agree with that.

"Perfect indeed, Ven! Just let all your friends know about it and it's settled then" Their father said and Axel smiled wide, thanking them immensely before they changed the subject and went to the kitchen for lunch. Before Ventus could get up however Vanitas tightened his fingers around his hand, asking him to wait.

"What is it?"

"Do you think we'll come back late from the ceremony?" Vanitas asked serious and Ventus frowned.

"I… Don't know. You think there would be a problem with that?"

"I'd have to at least let my father know about it. Just to make sure" Ventus crossed his arms.

"Hmm… I think that, yeah, we'll get home pretty late. But… Do you think… Do you think you could sleep here? We have the guests room, you could sleep there so you wouldn't need to worry about the time and…"

Vanitas stared to Ventus without saying a word for a few seconds. The boy imagined he had gone too far knowing Vanitas was still uncomfortable but the problem wasn't that; Vanitas was just thinking on how to ask that to Xehanort.

"Don't you… Don't you think it would be a problem for me to sleep here? Would your parents be alright with that?"

"Sure! I just gotta ask them, I mean, Axel slept here before as well so I see no problem with that!"

Vanitas chuckled "Of course. Yeah, ask them about it first. Then I'll ask mine"

"'Kay!"

Ventus put an arm around his waist and kissed his cheek, giggling when Vanitas kissed his forehead. Both got up at last and went to the kitchen for lunch, but all Vanitas could think about was what to wear for Axel's graduation. He didn't have any formal wear and that was a formal occasion that's for sure. Also, if he did sleep at Ven's it would also be the first time he'd sleep away from home, which was a little scary to some extend. He would also need to pick some nice clothing to bring with him.

Not that any of that would matter if Xehanort didn't let him go.


	38. Chapter 38

There was only one week left for the graduation ceremony and therefore two weeks before vacation was over. It was saturday morning and Vanitas was making his coffee as usual, his hand being the constant reminder that he should stay focused, attentive to whether his father was around or not. Even now that Xehanort had left to buy bread for breakfast, Vanitas still couldn't avoid his uneasiness. At least for now he could drink his coffee and prepare for his music class in peace… With no interruptions this time!

Ventus had already sent his typical Good Morning message but today Vanitas didn't leave him hanging and replied. The raven was still trying to convince himself that Ventus wouldn't tell anyone about his situation, but it was hard to control his disjointed thoughts when they came. Still, he had to try. It was dangerous to get paranoid over it.

The door was opened and his thoughts dissolved into smoke. Vanitas didn't look to the man who was his father, merely got himself more coffee to drink and sat again, staring down to his cup the whole time.

"Where are you going to waste your time today?" The man asked.

"Studying. Then I'll look for a job"

"You say you'll study as if you actually did that"

Vanitas opened his mouth to reply but thought better and drowned his thoughts in more coffee. He didn't want to lose another music class because of a stupid argument. Xehanort smiled at the boy's hesitation and continued.

"I don't know if I'll be here tonight. In any case, lock the doors and don't do anything stupid while I'm out!"

"Yes, sir"

Vanitas stood up, washing his cup and picking his backpack from the other chair. He wanted to leave home earlier to make sure he wouldn't lose the bus. And also to stay away from his father. After brushing his teeth he walked back to the entrance and reached for the door but didn't open it, thinking. Xehanort was still in the kitchen, making something for himself to eat. He was right there. It was his chance.

"... I'm going out next weekend"

He didn't look to the man when he said it and regretted his decision for a moment. Vanitas didn't want to face him and be denied to go right away but he couldn't just pretend he wasn't there. When he finally looked to him however Xehanort didn't seem angry nor anything like it. There was no expression on his face.

"Where are you going to?"

"I'm… I'm going to another town. To a party" Vanitas cleared his throat. It wasn't exactly a party but it would be easier to put it that way "And… I don't think I'll be back on the same day. Probably not"

"Mmm. A party, you say..."

Vanitas frowned: Xehanort was smiling.

"So you'll be away from home for the night? I see… As long as you're careful, then it's all good"

"Careful?"

"You'll be 18 soon" The man continued, taking a sip of his drink and turning to the boy "You may be a no one but at least you don't have any responsibilities in life. What I mean is… You don't have someone who depends on you yet"

Vanitas lowered his head. He knew what was coming.

"I'll only tell you one thing: If a girl shows up saying she's pregnant you're out of here! And don't you think you're taking anything with you because you're not!"

Vanitas closed his eyes. Did he really have to say that? Did he-

"I don't care if you're staying one or two days away from home as long as you don't bring me more problems. Take some condoms with you, have fun but don't do anything stupid that you'll regret later!"

A cold, shaky laugh left Vanitas' lips. Of course. Xehanort always found a way to remind him just how miserable he was. Nothing more than a problem. A burden. An unwanted child.

"Don't worry, dad. I won't make the same mistake as you" He said before leaving and closing the door behind himself. It wasn't hard to just ask where he was going or even with who he was going, was it? And yet…

Vanitas shook his head and left. It was 7:40 when he arrived at the bus stop and there he once again smoked a cigarette in silence. When Ventus arrived a few minutes later, he threw it away and waved to him.

"Good morning, Vani!" Ventus gave him a tight hug "Are you okay?"

Vanitas smiled.

"I'm fine"

* * *

Ventus went to the guests room for the 5th time that Friday to make sure that everything was alright, that the bed was made and that it was all clean. It was 6 PM and he couldn't contain his enthusiasm! How could he when Vanitas would be sleeping there for the first time?

He ran back to the living room, the whole family being there watching TV. Ventus sat next to his father and smiled when he ruffled his hair.

"Excited?"

"Yeah!" Ventus smiled even wider "Thanks for letting him sleep here!"

The man smiled too and then both turned their attention back to the TV. Only twenty minutes later however the bell rang and Ventus jumped off of the sofa, almost running to the door while his brother shook his head and his parents shared glances.

Vanitas was terribly nervous and yet there he was. Standing right before the door, the same backpack he used for school now full of clothing and anything else he needed to spend the night there and go to the ceremony. There was only silence when he rang the bell but soon enough he heard footsteps, already knowing who would be on the other side.

"Hi, Vani! Good evening!"

"Hey" Vanitas' smile was soft when Ventus called him inside. They kissed before they went to the living room where everyone was quick to greet him.

"Make yourself comfortable, sweetheart" The twins' mother said, walking to the boy to give him a proper welcome. Vanitas thanked her and soon enough followed Ventus to the room where he'd be sleeping in.

The blond turned to him "You can watch TV later if you want, the remote is right here. Also the bathroom is right there, you can take a shower if you'd like, there are towels and soup you can use there"Vanitas listened and nodded, looking around for a while. It reminded him a lot of his own bedroom back home.

"If you need anything else, you can tell me. You can knock at my door or send me a message if you'd rather me to come here, I don't mind"

"That's alright, Ven. I don't think I'll need anything else"

Ventus looked at him for a few seconds "Is this your first time sleeping away from home?"

"… You noticed, uh?"

"Well…. You do look more tense today than when you came here before, so… " Ventus said and then wrapped his arms around Vanitas, looking up to meet his gaze "I can't believe you're actually sleeping here. I'm so happy!"

"Yeah?" Vanitas kissed his forehead "I'm happy too. Sorry for, uh… Feeling nervous, it's not because of you"

"Don't apologize!" Ventus kissed him back "I just hope you enjoy your stay here!"

"I already do"

It would be impossible not to enjoy it. Once they left the bedroom they were called to watch a new movie - Popcorn included! - which they all enjoyed immensely. Just a normal evening with family, something Vanitas really liked. Once the movie was over they still spent an hour just chatting before the adults announced they were going to sleep. Roxas then took his leave as well, returning to his bedroom while the two went to the guests room.

Ventus took the lead, standing before the wardrobe and opening it "How many blankets would you like?"

"One is fine, thank you" Vanitas observed Ventus prepare the bed for him with a silly smile "So… Excited for tomorrow?"

"Yeah… But I'm more excited with having you here, to be honest" Ventus said and sat on the bed, inviting Vanitas to sit next to him.

And before they knew it they were kissing again. Vanitas touched the boy's face with care, both closing their eyes and letting themselves be guided by each other's warmth. Ventus really missed being with him, just the two of them, and having Vanitas this close reminded him of the feelings he had awakened within him. He wanted more of them.

Vanitas smiled, noticing how Ventus' hands didn't stay still and roamed around his neck, then down to his waist and then suddenly under his shirt. Vanitas didn't know where that had come from but he enjoyed it nonetheless and he would've let Ventus touch his skin as much as he wanted to... But then Ventus' hand reached his chest and Vanitas instinctively gripped at his arm.

They pulled apart and looked each other in the eye. Ventus pressed his lips together.

"Vani, there's… There's something you don't want me to see, isn't there? Is it a wound?"

Vanitas looked away "... Yeah. I didn't want you to know about this one. But… i guess I don't really have any reason to hide it anymore… Right?"

Ventus was silent. He saw how Vanitas' fingers were suddenly more trembly than before, but something in his eyes told him he was more relieved than nervous somehow. Maybe because the hardest part - Telling Ventus what happened at home - had already been done. Vanitas looked to Ventus, waiting for him to say it was okay to show him, and when Ven nodded he took off his shirt.

There were some scars on his abdomen but not too many. Ventus widened his eyes however when he saw the one Vanitas didn't really want him to see, what was once a cut now a long, deep and pale scar on his chest. Vanitas lowered his gaze and then ran his finger over it.

"… This one was made by one of those kitchen knives" Ventus gasped "It's okay, it wasn't my father who did it! I just messed with the wrong people when I was young and well…. I paid for it"

"... How old were you?"

"I think… 13" Vanitas said without worrying too much about it "Do you… Want to see my back?"

Ventus gulped. Vanitas wouldn't let anyone see his wounds like this unless he really trusted that someone and while Ventus wondered if he really wanted to see them, he knew Vanitas needed him to. He had to show someone, to take that weight off his chest and so Ventus said yes, watching as Vanitas turned his back to him.

Unlike his abdomen his back was very scarred. Ventus moved and sat closer to him, gently running his fingers over his wounds. There were… Too many of them. Ventus saw the wound on his shoulder, the one he had helped Vanitas with, but most of them were cuts which had been reopened more than once. One of them in particular, on the right side of his back, looked especially bad. The skin was bruised and he wouldn't be surprised if it was infected.

"You… Said you'd made some of those yourself…?" Ventus asked, saddened. Vanitas felt him touch that same wound he'd made days ago and nodded.

"Yeah. When I get too nervous I… I don't really notice I'm hurting myself until it's too late. I end up… Scratching on my skin, reopening wounds, making them worse"

Ventus frowned, noticing the large bruise under his ribs. It looked recent "What happened here?"

"It's from… The day when I burnt my hand. He pushed me against the table"

"... Does it hurt?"

"Not anymore"

They were silent once again. It wasn't the scars that bothered Ventus, no. What bothered him was how they had come to be. How much Vanitas had endured throughout his life, how much he had suffered alone. How much he still suffered to this day, even now, showing his scars to him like this. Ventus swallowed the tears that threatened to leave his eyes and gently hugged Vanitas from behind.

"You don't need to be ashamed of them. I can't even… Begin to imagine what you've been through but those scars, they're the proof that you're here. The proof that you made it through all of this. And when this is over, they will be nothing but markings you can leave behind"

"Do you think you could live with that?"

"Without thinking twice" The boy replied and Vanitas turned to him, kissing him again and slowly pushing him on the bed, his hand never leaving Ventus' cheek as they lay down. He couldn't thank him enough. Everything Ventus did for him, even after he knew about his father, was much more than anyone had done for him. Much more than he deserved.

"Ven..."

"Hm?"

"Can you… Stay here for a while longer?"

Ventus smiled and kissed him again before pulling him into an embrace. Their foreheads touched and Vanitas smiled too.

"I'll stay here for as long as you want me to"

* * *

The blond stood before the mirror staring at his mess of hair. He let out a deep and long sigh before he brushed it once again. And again. And again.

There were only a few hours left before the ceremony. Their friends would be there soon and then Axel, who would take 4 of them in his car just like it had been decided before. Everyone was pretty much ready but Vanitas was still changing clothes and Ventus was fighting his wild hair. A lost battle, but one he always fought.

"You look like a Chocobo" Roxas said.

"Há, very funny!"

The brothers were both wearing suits and Roxas, seeing how Ventus was struggling with his hair, decided to at least help him with his tie. The younger blond stood still, waiting.

"Are you nervous?" Ventus asked at last.

"Uh? Why would I be nervous?"

"Well, you're finally meeting Axel's parents. If you're not nervous then you must be excited at least!"

"And why would I be nervous because of that?"

"I... Nevermind" Ventus shrugged. He knew there was nothing going on between his brother and Axel - Apparently their parents had had a long conversation with him, something Ven overheard but was never told about - but he imagined he would be nervous. After all, if it was him meeting Vanitas' parents he knew he would be crying on the inside!

Before Ventus' thoughts could go any further and he started thinking too much, they heard the doorbell ring and walked to the window, staring down to the street with a wide smile; everyone was there!

"I'll open the door!" Ventus said and ran down the stairs, inviting his friends inside. All the the boys wore formal clothing while Xion wore a beautiful black dress and a pearl necklace. One by one they got inside and greeted the twins' parents, all of them eager for Axel to show up.

It was then that Vanitas left the guests room and Ventus widened his eyes when he saw him. He was wearing dark jeans, and over his white shirt was a simple but elegant black blazer. He was surprised to see everyone there already but when he saw Ventus his cheeks blushed immediately! It didn't help that Ventus looked pretty flustered himself.

"Hey there, Vanitas!" Sora said and the black-haired teen finally waved to them, although his attention was still on Ven. He approached the blond and smiled to him.

"You are beautiful"

The blond blushed just as much as him "Ah… Thank you. So are you! I love your clothes!"

Vanitas almost told him the blazer belonged to Riku but he figured that wasn't necessary for now. He joined the others and they spent a few more minutes chatting before Axel arrived and when he finally did everyone practically jumped on him.

"You did it, man! Congrats!"

"You're finally free!"

"Congratulations, man!"

"Thank you, thank you! I know, I know, it's an honor to be in my presence!" The redhead bragged playfully while they all talked to him. Just a few minutes later and they all hit the road, everyone being so loud that before they knew it they had already arrived.

The place was crowded, as expected! While the graduates ran around looking for their classmates and getting ready for the ceremony, their families all gathered together, happy voices echoing as one single unintelligible sound. As for the teenagers, they all looked around in awe. No one said a thing for the time being, but they were clearly imagining what college was truly like.

"Ah, there you are!" A woman exclaimed and Axel smiled, walking towards his mother and father who were coming their way. Roxas was next to him and a tint of red covered his cheeks but he too smiled.

"So you're Roxas?" Axel's father asked, greeting the boy and quick to talk to his parents "Nice to meet you!"

"Nice to meet you too, sir!" Roxas held back a nervous laughter. There was nothing going on between them but he couldn't deny having his and Axel's parents in the same place was a bit overwhelming.

There were five seats for each graduate and the teenagers agreed that those seats belonged to Axel's parents, the twins' parents and Roxas. The rest of the group stood in the back, watching everything from afar.

"Man… Can you believe that in two years it'll be our turn?" Sora said right when the graduates were called to the stage "And then… Off to college!"

"It feels like yesterday since we met, Sora" Ventus said "Remember?"

"Of course I remember! I saw a shy blond a few meters away from me, then I looked away… And when I looked again he was all angry and pouting. Only then I noticed there were two blonds and I was like 'What?'"

The boys laughed. Riku turned to Ventus "Has Sora always been lazy like this?

"Nah… He's much lazier nowadays"

"Ven!"

The ceremony had finally begun and with it the excited cheers from the families of the graduates and their friends. There was loud clapping every time one of them received their certificate but when Axel got his own screams joined in, Xion and Sora shouting out his name while the others cheered him on.

Still, it didn't go unnoticed by Ventus that Vanitas was thinking about something. He could see it in his eyes, in the way he watched the ceremony unfold. The blond held his hand, bringing his back to the present moment, and decided to wait before saying anything.

"Man, you guys were so loud! I loved it!" Axel exclaimed half an hour later when he reunited with his friends. After a heartwarming moment between Axel and his parents, all of them crying in joy, they were told the photographers had started to call the graduates for the pictures. It would take a while for Axel to be called, however, and Vanitas saw that as an opportunity. He had kept his cool since they arrived; he deserved to have a break.

"I'm going to get some fresh air" He told Ventus when no one else was looking "I'll be right back"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I just need to smoke a little"

"Oh… Can I go with you?"

"... Sure"

"Okay!" Ventus took a quick glance at his friends and called for Xion "Xi, we're going outside for bit. Can you call us back when it's time?"

"Sure, go on!"

With that the two left the building, walking to the plaza at the entrance. After Ventus insisted he was fine with the smoke, Vanitas lit one cigarette and sat on a bench, smoking in silence.

"... Are you smoking because of your addiction… Or is there something bothering you?" Ventus asked in a low tone.

"A bit of both I think"

Ventus sat closer to him "When did you start again?"

"When I was 11. But I've been trying to stop, I swear" He laughed nervously "I don't want you to be bothered by this bad smell forever"

"It's not about me, Vani. Think about yourself. Smoking is bad for your health!"

"I know. But it's hard to stop. I almost did it years ago but… Well, here I am"

The blond looked up to the sky. It was a very starry night and the moonlight shone through the leaves of the surrounding trees with a pretty sensibility "Well, if you smoke to calm yourself down… Then perhaps you need to find something to replace that need, right?"

"... Right?" Vanitas looked to him, getting rid of the ashes.

"Alright. So, tell me! What do you think would make you relax?" Ventus asked and turned to him, a silly smile on his lips. Vanitas raised a brow. What was he up to?

"Hmm... I don't know. What do you do to relax?"

"I usually try to read a book. Or I play video games. I also like to listen to music! And sometimes I just cry because, you know" Ventus said with a low laugh, one that made Vanitas chuckle himself.

"I think I'll pass on that one. But music sounds nice… It helps sometimes"

Ventus crossed his arms and looked away and that was when Vanitas noticed a- Wait, was that a smirk? On _Ventus'_ lips?

"I see… Well then, we should be able to find something that can calm you down. Something you can do whenever you want. Right, Vani?"

"Yeah?" Vanitas laughed again, utterly confused with the expression Ventus was giving him. Still, he shrugged it off and continued "Which I still don't know what it is. So if you've got an idea let me k-"

On the next second Vanitas lost his breath, caught by surprise when Ventus pulled him by his shirt and locked their lips together. Vanitas held the cigarette away so he wouldn't hurt Ven but the boy was so intense that he let it fall and returned his kisses and soft touches.

Just when Vanitas wanted more Ventus stopped and smiled to him with innocence "So? Did it work?"

Vanitas raised a brow at him again, unable to hold back his laugh "I don't think so. I still really want to smoke"

"Oh, so you want more, uh? Okay then..."

Ventus put his hands in his pockets in search of something and Vanitas frowned, watching him and trying to see what he was looking for. Smiling, he took a necklace out of it and held it before Vanitas' eyes.

"I was going to give it to you once we got home but if you want to distract yourself then why not?" The blond said and smiled, giving the necklace to Vanitas. The raven held it with care, looking to the carefully crafted shape that stood on its end: A small silver and black guitar!

"I wanted something we could both use, you know. So I got that one for you..." He pulled another necklace out of his other pocket and, instead of a guitar, this one had a musical keyboard on it "And this one for me! We just started theory classes but soon we'll be playing and.. I thought you'd like it"

"... Can I?" Vanitas smiled and extended his hand to Ventus, offering to put his necklace on his neck. Just as he did, Ventus did the same for him and giggled.

"It looks really good on you!" The younger boy said and Vanitas ruffled his hair with care before picking the cigarette from the ground and throwing it in the trash next to the bench.

"Why… Why do you do all of this? I… I don't understand"

"What do you mean 'why'?" Ventus exclaimed in a playful tone but then stared down to his own feet and blushed again "Because… Because I… Because I love you, of course!"

Vanitas' eyes went wide and he stared to him in shock. Ventus felt his deep gaze over him and continued, speaking with trembly words.

"A-And of course you deserve it! You're… You're special and I like to see you happy and- I-I'm sorry, was I too straight forward?"

Vanitas still hadn't moved, unable to. Had Ven really said them? Those… Words? Ventus was freaking out with embarrassment, not knowing what to do, and seeing Vanitas serious like that made him regret even saying it in the first place.

"I-I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me! It's… Just because I feel this way it doesn't mean you have to as well, I just, uh, I… I-I- "

No more words were necessary. Vanitas held his face with both hands, delicate and gentle, and kissed him again, passionately. Those words… He had heard them before but never in his life did he understand their meaning. No one ever said they loved him and he knew he had never loved anyone before.

Until now. Now he understood their meaning because he felt the same, because he was overflowing with this emotion he didn't know existed a few months ago. Vanitas ran his hand on Ventus' hair, his thumb stroking his cheeks with affection. The blond was still blushing but his eyes had a different light to them now. Vanitas felt the same for him!

The raven let himself stare to that shiny blue for a few more seconds, his heart pumping fast in his chest and it felt as if time itself had stopped for them when a voice called.

"Vanitas, Ventus, come on! It's time!"

The boys waved back to Xion and she quickly went back inside while they stood up, Vanitas letting Ventus hold him by his arm. They both felt so happy that they couldn't even speak and so they walked back inside, back to their friends, waiting with a never fading smile on their lips. Just before they were finally called to join for the picture, Vanitas held Ventus back for a second...

"Hey, Ven"

"Yeah?"

And for the first time Vanitas didn't care if people were looking, he didn't mind what they could say or think, because for the first time he could finally say it out loud as he kissed Ventus' lips one more time.

"I love you too"


	39. Chapter 39

**Author's Notes:**

 **(Those notes are better read on Ao3. I strongly encourage you to go there so you can check the tags for this fic because they are very triggering!). So~**

 **1\. I have a Ko-Fi account now :3 ( /saoryemanoelle). So if you' like to support my work with a cup of coffee I'd be very grateful! If not, I'll always be grateful for having you here reading my fic which means the world to me, you guys have no idea!**

 **2\. Something I never explained before but I am now: My fic runs on the same logic as my country (Brazil) for school. The year starts in February then we have vacation in July, students go back for another few months and then the year ends with vacation on December. I know that in some countries classes start in the middle of the year so I just wanted to clear things out ^-^**

 **3\. On a heavier note: Please, please check the tags for this fic again. I've updated them since it was first uploaded here and there's a lot of triggering themes in there. From now on, pretty much every single tag will be present somehow and I really don't want anyone feeling bad because of it. If you think it's too much, don't read any further. 50% of those themes are triggers for myself and I'm the one writing it! So please, take care and consider whether you'll continue reading it or not!**

 **That's it! Thank you so much for your patience and I hope you enjoy! c:**

* * *

Everything had been fine until now. The night had been amazing, the ceremony ended up being more enjoyable than he thought it would be and after a long time he felt truly happy. Then why?

Why did this always have to happen?

"Useless!"

The man screamed, spitting the words. The teenager staggered when Xehanort slapped his face not waiting for him to recompose himself before doing it again, but Vanitas stood still and looked down, hoping that in doing so the man would stop hurting him.

He didn't. Instead Xehanort held him by his arm, screaming and shouting and eventually forcing the boy to look at him again. Vanitas swallowed dry; he didn't understand what he was saying. He couldn't even remember how this had started or even the reason why Xehanort was shaking him with so much hatred right now. All he could do was to accept it and listen in silence.

"Get the hell out of here!" The adult ordered after what felt like a really long time, pushing Vanitas and showing him the way to his own bedroom "Get out of here and don't you dare come back before I allow you to!"

"Yes, si-" There was another slap as he turned around to leave and so he picked up the pace, entered his room and locked himself inside. Vanitas leaned against the door and there he stood for long minutes, taking deep breaths to calm down and once he was finally able to breathe properly he chose a worn t-shirt and shorts to wear and threw himself on the bed.

He tried not to think about what had just happened. He tried to think only about how his day had been, about the night he had had with Ven and their friends, but it was hard to do so when he could hear his father walking from side to side throughout the house, huffing and complaining about something he didn't even know what it was.

Maybe because he was really tired or because his mind forced him to have a little bit of peace Vanitas didn't stay awake for too long. He hugged his pillow like he always did and hoped that he could manage to sleep more than he usually did.

He just never imagined that he would wake up at the early hours to see his father inside his bedroom, staring at him.

"AH-" Vanitas sat up straight and covered his body with his blanket on instinct. There was only a shy ray of light coming through the semi open door (How did he open it?!) and Xehanort was just standing there. Watching him sleep.

"W… Wh… Get out of my room!"

"I need to talk to you"

"GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"

Xehanort didn't as much flinch but his son shivered with dread when his lips changed into a twisted smile.

"What's wrong? Don't you trust your own father?"

Vanitas was ready to jump off the bed! He didn't know what could happen if he tried something, but maybe he could run and ask for help. That was all he would be able to do anyway, Xehanort was stronger than him in every possible way and-

"G… G-Get out of my-"

"Insolent child!" Xehanort stepped forward, grabbing the teen by his arm in a swift and desperate move. Vanitas gasped and tried to free himself but he was unable to and so he closed his eyes, hoping, begging for the man not to hurt him anymore!

When he opened his eyes again he was laying on the bed covered in sweat, shaking almost feverishly, his arms wrapped around himself. He blinked many times, too nervous to move or to understand what had truly happened and it took him a while to realize where he was. He was lying… On his bed…

No, that wasn't his bed. And he wasn't in his bedroom either. He was sleeping at Ventus' house, in the guest room. In safety.

He blinked tight, breathing fast and rubbing at his face with both hands to make sure he was no longer dreaming, forcing himself to remember what happened the night before. They had gone to Axel's graduation ceremony. Once they came back to Twilight Town, he and Ventus watched a little bit of TV together before Ven headed to his own bedroom and he fell asleep… And that was it. Nothing more, nothing less.

Vanitas checked the time on his cell phone: 7 AM. He rolled on the bed, grumbling. Everyone was probably still sleeping so he was alone right now, alone with that annoying shiver down his spine. He wondered if he could try and sleep again when just a few minutes later he received a message from Ven.

 _._

 ** _Ventus_**

 _Good morning 3 Are you awake? -_ 7:15 AM

 **Vanitas** **  
**_Yeah, I just woke up_ \- 7:16 AM

 **Ventus** **  
**_Sweet :3 I always wake up early on weekends to buy some bread for breakfast - 7:17 AM_

 _Wanna go with me?_ \- 7:17 AM

 **Vanitas**

 _Count me in!_ \- 7:17 AM

.

God bless sweet Ventus for waking up early. Vanitas changed clothes as fast as he could before leaving the room to see Ventus already there, waiting for him next to the door.

"Hey!" The boy gave him a hug again and it was impossible not to return the gesture "Good morning! Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, never better. You?"

"Never better!"

Ventus held Vanitas' hand and they left the house as carefully as they could not to wake anyone else up. The day looked beautiful, especially with the sun rays just now finding their way through the leaves of the trees! More beautiful than that however was the smile Ventus had in his lips when he gently pulled Vanitas closer and kissed his cheeks. And so Vanitas smiled too.

It was easy to forget about his nightmare while they talked, even if it was about nothing in particular. Ventus was happy and if he was happy so was Vanitas. Hands held together all the time, the boys soon arrived at the bakery and got what they wanted, heading back home eager to have breakfast.

Since they were the only ones awake at that time they didn't talk too much while eating. Instead, they spent their time smiling and playing with the other, all the while holding back laughter that could wake Ventus' parents up.

"Hey, Ven..."

"Yeah?"

"What you said yesterday after the ceremony, did… Did you mean it?"

The blond boy smiled with compassion and tilted his head in the most adorable manner "I did. Did you?"

Vanitas smiled back "Yes, I did"

"Really?"

"Really"

Foreheads now touching, Ventus held Vanitas' hand.

"Can you say it again?"

Vanitas raised an eyebrow at him and then gently lifted his chin and moved a little closer "Ven... I love you"

"I love you too"

Vanitas could feel himself being pulled to him even more now. They interlaced their fingers and Ventus kissed him, caressing his face as he did, both of them smiling at the touch.

By the time everyone else woke up they were back to the guests room laying on the bed and watching TV, having decided to enjoy the time they had before Vanitas left. Being that close to Ventus, he found himself slowly drifting off into sleep again and welcomed that warm, nice feeling with open arms... But then Ventus spoke, calling his attention.

"So… Are you excited for school?"

Months ago Vanitas would have laughed at the question but he couldn't deny he was looking forward to it now. Still… "I guess? Just hope it isn't as boring as last year was"

"It won't be. I mean, you've got us! Life is never boring with us around!" Vanitas laughed.

"Can't disagree with that. But… Nevermind"

"What is it?" Vanitas hesitated "... Are you still worried about failing the year?"

"... Yeah. I'm... Tired. I just want to move on and-"

Ventus kissed his forehead, surprising him "You shouldn't worry too much. Your grades are already improving. As long as you work hard this semester you'll do just fine!"

Vanitas closed his eyes and slowly shook his head. Ventus' optimism was enjoyable and exactly what he needed for now so instead of saying anything Vanitas put an arm around his waist and lay his head on Ventus' chest, allowing himself to rest.

It was 7 PM when he finally gathered enough courage to go home, not because he wanted to but because he had to. Ventus walked with him to the door and as they usually did they sat on the sidewalk and stood side by side.

"Hey, Vani"

"Hm?"

"I was thinking… And…" He laughed "I mean, it's been months since we met but I still don't know when your birthday is!"

He widened his eyes in surprise; Ventus was right. How weird was that? He frowned and couldn't help but laugh "Well, you never told me yours either"

"Mine is on January 9th. It's pretty far from now, only next year. When is yours?"

Even if that was Ven, Vanitas still hesitated. It was still weird to tell him that since no one asked anymore "It's on, uh… September, 2nd"

"Oh! Just a month and a few days away. Okay!"

Vanitas frowned. He knew that look.

"... What are you planning, Ven?"

"Uh? Planning? I'm not planning anything!" The way he said it however made it obvious that he had something in mind.

"Ven, no! Don't… Don't start having any ideas. It's just an ordinary day, nothing more"

"Aww, come on, Vani!"

"No. No, no, don't even think about it!"

Ventus giggled "Why not?"

"Because… Just because!"

"You don't like to celebrate?"

"That's not it! I just..." He looked away, scratching at his head "I don't see a reason to"

Ventus pressed his lips together and sat closer to him "Well… If you don't want to celebrate that's alright of course. But we could at least do something you'd enjoy. Let me know if you'd like that, okay?"

"Tch… Okay"

They shared another moment in silence until Vanitas decided to leave. He stood up with a long and deep sigh, clearly not wanting to go, and Ven gave him a comforting smile and a hug before speaking.

"I'm free tomorrow if you'd like to do anything!"

"Sure. I'll send you a message then. We could go for ice cream if you'd like!"

"Alright!"

They kissed once again, but now that Vanitas was ready to leave it didn't feel as reassuring as when they were inside. Still they smiled and hugged one last time before the boy finally took his way home.

And then he was alone again. Not for long, he knew that, but without Ven to keep his head from wandering plus the fact that he was going back to a place he hated, Vanitas soon found himself deep in thought.

School would be resuming next week… And just one month later he'd be turning eighteen. He had been optimistic before with Ven, telling him that once he was truly an adult he'd be able to leave the house with no problems whatsoever but that wasn't true. It wouldn't be that easy. He still needed a job to begin with so he could pay his bills. And even if he had one… Where would he go then? He would need to rent a house. It was never cheap, would he even be able to pay for it? What if he wasn't? He wouldn't be able to work full-time because of school so of course he wouldn't get too much money from whatever job he got...

Vanitas grumbled. It was necessary but he hated when reality hit him hard like that. He just wished he could stay with Ven, that he could stop worrying so much all the time. And yet here he was, getting nervous just as he was getting close to his house.

He stopped with his hand on the doorknob.

" ' . Do you hear me? That's not an excuse for- What did you say?"

He frowned; it seemed his father was talking to someone on the phone and was angry. Very angry. He probably shouldn't go inside for a while or the old man might blame him for whatever reason he was arguing on the phone...

"Goddamnit! That's not- I don't care if you have one of your own. He is not just my son, he is our son! You have as much responsibility as I do! He's not old enough yet, I can't do much to him without the money! I also have bills to pay, you know?!"

Vanitas didn't hear anything past _our son._ His hands instantly started to sweat still holding on the doorknob and he shivered, all the color of his face washed out. Was he hearing things? His father couldn't possibly be talking to…

"That's not my fault! It's beyond my control! How will I pay for his school material if I don't get any more money? How do you expect me to keep him that way?"

Vanitas was shaking. There was no way Xehanort was talking to someone else. He was talking about himself. With _her_.

His mother.

He rested his head against the door. How long… How long had it been since-

"He's not home yet"

Vanitas widened his eyes. Was she asking about him? Why? Maybe she was just agreeing with his father about what he just said. Maybe she wanted to talk to him. No, she wouldn't. Why would she want to talk to him now?

"I won't accept this! You can't do this to me!"

Something stronger than him forced Vanitas to open the door. Something that came from deep within himself, something he didn't know still existed. The door opening to reveal his father apparently _relieved_ for seeing him felt surreal. It felt wrong. It felt…

"Oh, thank God you arrived!" Xehanort exclaimed, standing up and holding his phone before the boy. Vanitas looked up at him, his mouth half open while he tried to understand what he was feeling, unable to "Here, you talk to her!"

Vanitas couldn't speak, his eyes going from his father to the cellphone held before him, in his eyes now the same expression from his five year old self, craving for something he could not have. Lost and in dismay.

"… Her?"

"Your mother, stupid! Who else could it be?"

He felt as if his arms weighed a ton when he picked up the device, his heart missing a beat. Vanitas stared down to the screen and then back to his father.

"What… What does she want?"

"Stop asking and just talk to her already!"

With a lump in his throat, Vanitas sat by the table and rested his head on his hand. He stared to the device's screen and only after what felt like hours slowly took the phone to his ear and stood still, oblivious to his father who now stood next to him like a statue, watching him.

"... Hello?"

"Vanitas?"

Tears welled up in his eyes and he bit his bottom lip. That voice. He remembered it way too well. Even if he hadn't listened to it since he was 8, he remembered it perfectly. Maybe because of his childhood memories. Maybe because of the last words that were spoken to him nine years ago. Maybe because-

"Yes"

-it hurt so much.

"Listen… I don't even know why your father wants me to talk to you. This decision isn't yours to make. In fact, it's not even your father's. You'll be eighteen in the next month, won't you?"

"Yes?"

He heard the woman laugh in disbelief "Well… I think you're more intelligent than your father so maybe you'll listen. Here's the thing: I agreed on helping him with alimony. I agreed to do so until you were an adult. Turns out you'll be one soon and therefore I will no longer send in the money"

His voice came out lower than he expected "... I see"

"Easy to understand, isn't it? But now your father keeps yelling at me saying he can't live without this money while you're at school. It's not my fault if you failed for two freaking years or if your father is a drunk asshole! I did what I say I would, didn't I?"

"And what... Do you want me to do about that?"

"I want you to tell this to your father and put some sense into his head!"

His voice sounded way lower than usual and yet the blood in his veins has just started to boil. Nine years later and that was all? She didn't even ask if he was okay?

"I'm not an errand boy"

"Well, you can talk, can't you?"

There was silence on the other side of the line, but Vanitas felt his father's hand rest on his shoulder and his fingers twitch over his skin. Xehanort was impatient.

"That is all" The woman continued, ignoring his last words "If you don't want to tell him about this, fine. At least let him know he doesn't ever need to talk to me again"

And then she hung up. Just like that, she hung up. Vanitas didn't move, he stood still with the cellphone against his ear, breathing in and out faster than usual, anxiety kicking in.

"What did she say?"

Vanitas didn't answer right away, the words were stuck in his throat, but Xehanort demanded him to.

"What did your mother say, Vanitas?!"

"... She won't be giving you any more money, dad. It's over"

"You've got to be kidding me…! Why didn't you saying anything about it? Why didn't you ask her-"

"I have nothing to tell her"

"How do you have nothing to tell her, you damn-"

Vanitas put the cellphone on the table, turning to look at his father, his tone of voice growing louder "What do you want from me? You told her you need the money to… Raise me? You don't even care! You just want the money to buy your drinks and that's it!"

"You didn't finish high school yet! You think it is easy? Think it is cheap?! You can't even keep a job to know how expensive it is so don't you dare question my decisions, boy!"

"What do you want me to do so I won't give you any more trouble? If your problem is money, well, you always took mine anyway. Want me to leave the house? If that's what you want, please, just let me know and I'll do it!"

He got up and walked to the kitchen. Everything was spinning, his stomach was burning out of rage and saliva was gathering up in his mouth.

"You never used her money to buy me things except for school because if you didn't the teachers would ask you questions! Listen, I don't want you bothering her nor anyone else! Soon I'll be out of here and so you can live the life you always wanted! Is that good enough for you?

Xehanort's face was red and he was clearly on the verge of losing control… But then he took a deep breath and smiled "Why are you so angry? Is that because I upset your mommy?"

"I don't give a fuck if you two had a fight or what. It doesn't matter to me. It never did"

"Tch… You're all talk. Nothing but an ungrateful child. Can't see everything I did for you in all those years and now gets mad at me because I yelled at your mother!"

"She's not my mother!" Vanitas screamed and ran his shaking hands through his hair before he continued "Just like you're not my father"

The words barely left his mouth and Vanitas regretted them. More tears gathered in his eyes threatening to fall and he waited one, two, three seconds, waited for the man to come towards himself and hit him. But Xehanort didn't do it. Instead, he spoke.

"At last something we both agree with… Son"

Vanitas stepped back, trying to get out of there, his legs keeping him still.

"Are those tears? Jesus Christ..." Xehanort turned his gaze away before looking to him again and Vanitas saw it. He saw how tired his father was. How _exhausted_ he was. How old he was.

"I'm..."

"What did I do wrong?" Xehanort questioned in a loud tone "Not only did I raise a boy who can't even look after himself… But I also let him become weak!"

He shouldn't have anything to worry about anymore, but he had a son to deal with. A son that should have been his pride, but had only become a nuisance. A son that should have never existed in the first place.

"I thought you would at least be useful while talking to your mother but it looks like I was wrong. Useless!"

 _Useless!_

Vanitas had no recollection of how he went to his bedroom. His legs took him there on their own and even then he barely saw where he was going. Lightheaded, he left his backpack on the floor and rushed to the bathroom, his stomach worse now, a bitter taste in his mouth and as soon as he leaned on the sink all that came out was saliva. He breathed in and out, in and out, still trying to make sense of it all, of why he was feeling like this, of why hearing his mother's voice after so long messed him up so bad!

He lifted his head just enough to stare at his reflection on the mirror. The bags under his eyes were much more visible when he was like this, stricken with pain and confusion. Like a mask that could easily fall off and then show him his scars. He could see all of them, from the smallest one on his eyebrow to the longest one on his chest. To the deepest ones in his heart. From the day he cried and begged for her to come back to the day he saw her again, to this day.

Did he really hope that she would care for him after all this time? Had he been nurturing this hope, considering possible that she might look back and actually hold him like he wanted her to? Hold him like she held her other son in front of him, leaving Vanitas alone to figure out was was wrong with him, to question why his mother didn't love him as much as he loved her?!

He turned the shower on and stood in the water, but this time it wasn't enough to take things away. It didn't wash the pain, if only it made it worse because he could see his younger self on that same damn bathroom screaming and crying because something was wrong with him. Because he couldn't take the pain anymore. Because...

Vanitas sat on the floor, his legs way too trembly to hold him up. If his mother hadn't left, none of this would have happened. His father wouldn't have freaked out or turned to alcohol for solace. If she hadn't left, he wouldn't have gotten sick to the point of almost dying because his father couldn't tell he had a high fever and ignored all signs that he was getting worse. If she never left, maybe she would hold his father's hand when he held that knife up, maybe she would push him away when he got out of control, maybe...

Maybe if he wasn't such a despicable child his parents wouldn't even have divorced. They wouldn't have had so many fights. As much as he wanted to blame someone else, it was clear to him whose fault it was. It had always been clear.

Holding his knees to his chest he closed his eyes tight and, just like months ago when he tried to take his own life on that same spot, Vanitas cried.


	40. Chapter 40

Vanitas woke up confused, unable to remember what he had done after leaving the bathroom except for taking some painkillers for the headache from crying so much. Closing his eyes, he wished he could fall asleep again because his body refused to move no matter how much he tried to, but he knew it wouldn't and groaned in annoyance. His cellphone was tightly secure in his hand even though he didn't remember picking it up, fingers leisurely moving over its screen before they unlocked his access and he saw what he was doing before sleeping.

Nothing, apparently. Had he tried to call someone…?

He checked his last made calls but there was nothing new. Maybe he had watched or read something before he fell asleep... Not that it mattered. It made no difference anyway.

Tired as he was, it took Vanitas a few minutes to sit properly and then finally leave the bed. Almost crawling to the bathroom, he washed his face as lazily as he could before staring to the drowsy face that stared back at him from the mirror.

He looked terrible. Just one week left before school and he already felt like shit.

Vanitas quickly went through his morning routine to force himself to do something. Wash your face, make some coffee, have a cigarette then… Maybe have another one? He went to the kitchen, rubbing his eyes as he did, and would have walked towards the sink but the moment he stepped in he knew something was wrong.

There were beer bottles over the sink. That by itself wouldn't have surprised him but his father was there and there was something about him that looked… Off. He was staring to the wall, grumbling in a low tone, his eyes deep with... Worry? No, there was more than that. They were full of hatred. They were cold. And something more that Vanitas couldn't quite understand but gave him shivers. Sure, he did expect Xehanort to be upset because of the thing with his mother, but was that really all he needed to snap?

"What do you want?" The man asked and he sounded more sober than Vanitas expected him to. The boy looked to him then to the sink again; he supposed could live without coffee for one day.

"N…. Nothing"

He walked back to his bedroom, quick to make the bed before taking a last look around his room. Everything was pretty much in order, no reasons to complain, but he didn't feel like staying there. Something told him to leave and that was no time to doubt his guts. Walking to his Flood, he took a good look at Ven's Wayfinder, picked the guitar necklace the boy gave him as a gift and left with it on his neck. Seeing as there was no need to talk to the old man, Vanitas walked by him with a low _I'll be back soon_ and then he left.

The feelings from last night had yet to pass, and although the bad taste in his mouth had finally left he didn't feel better in the slightest. Blowing out smoke, Vanitas walked aimlessly around the neighborhood and it was a calm and quite peaceful walk before he noticed someone was approaching. He frowned but kept on walking as Chris joined him.

"Hey"

He would've rolled his eyes if he wasn't so tired.

"Hey"

For a few more minutes they continued to walk, side by side but with no words spoken between them. If anyone asked Vanitas didn't even know her, but the girl had other plans.

"So… How've you been?"

"Fine"

"Good"

He once again blew out the smoke, finally noticing she too had a cigarette in her hands but it wasn't lit.

"Want a light?"

"No… I'm trying to quit"

"Good luck then"

It was her grumbling that made him look at her face "What is it?"

"Do you really have to be this cold, Van?"

"Do you really have to be this random?" Vanitas raised a brow and laughed although he had no reason to "Last time we spoke you were seemingly trying to seduce me, all smiles and playful words! Now you're all gloomy and sad. What are you trying to do, really?"

"You know very well what I'm trying to do. I thought you'd at least be happy that I'm still trying"

"Happy?" He found the strength he needed to finally roll his eyes "Seriously, Chris… "

"Look, I know I fucked up, okay? I know I put you into trouble! And I… I never got to fully apologize because-"

"I don't care. It doesn't matter anymore"

"Of course it does! Would you- Fuck Vanitas, can't you even look at me?!"

He imagined it would be fun if he said _no_ and left her behind but deep inside he knew it would only make him feel more miserable so he did what she wanted.

"Fine. I'm looking at you. What is it?"

She sighed again, now a little more relieved "I… I saw you and your father days ago. You were inside the car and I know you were bleeding! Vanitas-"

"That was weeks ago"

"- did he hurt you again?"

Now the idea of leaving her behind didn't sound so bad. Instead, he merely gritted his teeth with irritation, holding the cigarette between his fingers.

"Why does it matter?"

"It matters to me! I worry about you!"

"Really? I thought we'd both agreed you didn't give a damn anymore. So much for someone who I'd give my life for, uh?"

His last comment seemed to hurt her deep because tears quickly welled up in her eyes and her hands started shaking. Vanitas looked away; the last thing he needed was to get emotive over this as well.

"I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry, Vanitas! I-I never meant for that to happen, I… I swear, I didn't want to get you into trouble! I was a fool, I was stupid and yet you were still there, protecting me!" Chris had finally started to cry and was trying her best to hold it in but she wouldn't be able to and they both knew that "I… I couldn't bring myself to apologize because I was too busy thinking about my own good! And now I just don't know how to do it, Van, because you won't even pay attention!"

It was Vanitas' turn to grumble. He sat on the sidewalk, feeling the heaviness of this sudden apology and last night's problems threatening to crush him, everything he always kept very well hidden inside now boiling in his head.

"I see"

"No, Van, you don't understand! I know what I did was wrong! I just… I-I wish there was something I could do so you'd forgive me"

She was standing up before him, staring down without averting her eyes from her own feet while Vanitas himself stared to the end of the street. He didn't want to get mad at her and he didn't want to blame things on her either so he waited until she stopped crying to speak.

"... You want to know something?" She looked to him "That night… You actually opened my eyes. It was the first time that I felt… Able to make my own choices. I could have ended everything that day right there. Fast and… Painless"

He motioned his finger as if it was a gun but his eyes dropped and he used the same hand to rub at his other arm "Or I could let go and find something to fight for. It hasn't been easy but that's what I've been trying to do. While part of me wishes something actually happened that night... Thank you for showing me that I did have a choice"

Her tears started to fall again but she stood still, watching as he put out his cigarette and then walked to her, putting one hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Chris. I wish I could forgive you as well"

She didn't stop him from leaving neither did she go after him. His words were decisive and she couldn't blame him for that. There was no one to blame but herself. But…

"That boy who came looking for you…!" Vanitas stopped with his back still turned to her "He was really worried. You seem to be someone very dear to him. Let him know… How dear he is to you as well"

Vanitas reached for the necklace and held the small guitar in his hand, closing his fingers around it. With a last nod, he kissed the object and moved forward.

"I will"

* * *

The last weekend before school resumed had finally arrived. Vanitas woke up automatically and tried to enjoy his last minutes of sleep even as he stood up. When the water touched his skin however he could feel his drowsiness dissipate and let out a content sigh while washing himself.

Music school awaited him. Until now not much had been taught, just the basics of musical theory an even though he didn't mind waiting he knew Ventus was eager to finally play his instrument. He understood of course; he wanted to play his guitar as well! However with so many things happening lately he didn't really feel too excited about it or anything at all.

Vanitas still hadn't told anyone about his mother's call. Not a surprise all things considered but after a week holding it in he felt… Empty. Hollow. Unlike in the past where he would've taken it out on something or someone, now he just felt like laying down and doing nothing at all. Not only did he feel awful because of his mom, there was also his father who had become way too silent and serious. It bothered him but at least he hadn't lashed out at him again.

Not until now, that is.

Making his coffee, it was impossible not to think of what should have been his first music class but ended up with him at the hospital caring for a broken nose and burnt hand. Since the day Chris brought it up he had started thinking about that day more often. Xehanort was scary, sometimes terrifying, but he knew what to expect when the man started screaming or simply complaining altogether. Sometimes he'd be bruised, sometimes a bone would be broken. It was expected. Now that the man was silent however things were different. The air was poignant and he felt as if being pressured by this cold, dark cloud every time he saw him.

At the end of the day he was just relieved he had Ventus to keep his mind away from things, even if just a bit. But even so here he was, hiding things from him. Again. Vanitas knew it was his right not to tell him everything, but it felt so wrong to hide it from Ven above anyone else...

Cursing himself for not paying attention and almost burning his hand again, Vanitas got his usual cup of coffee and sat by the table, waiting for the minutes to pass until it was time to go to the bus stop. To his luck Xehanort didn't wake up until he was minutes away from home and so he managed to calmly leave the house, not worrying about anything else but their lesson.

He was almost at the bus stop when he saw Ventus there, waving at him.

"Vani, hi!"

"Hey. You're early"

"I wanted to be here when you arrived!" Ventus hugged him when he got close enough, kissing the tip of his nose "How are you? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm alright" He looked at Ventus' neck and smiled "You're wearing your necklace"

"Heh, yeah. And so are you! I'm glad you like it!"

Vanitas smiled once again. Even though he hadn't seen Ventus much that week he'd wore the necklace everyday, holding it whenever he felt anxious and kissing it as if he could send signs to Ventus of how much he cared.

 _Let him know how dear he is to you as well_.

"I loved it."

The bus wasn't as full as the day when they went there for the first time, so the boys sat on the last seats holding each other's hand. All the way to the school Vanitas stared to the streets and the people which they passed by, unaware that Ventus was watching him.

"Vani?"

"... Hm? What?"

"Did you have trouble sleeping last night?"

Vanitas pressed his lips together. Shit "Yes, I did. But I'll sleep when I get home"

"Did… Did something happen?" Ventus' eyes went from his face to the scar on the raven's hand.

"Not really. I… Just couldn't sleep, that's all"

The look in Ventus' face told him he knew that was a lie and Vanitas expected him to ask more but Ven simply nodded and kissed his hand before looking to the other side. It made Vanitas' heart ache.

Just as they left the bus Xion walked to them, having just arrived as well. The girl hugged them both, proceeding to chat excitedly.

"I'm so not ready for school after tomorrow! Ien on the other hand can't wait to go back. What about you two?"

"I'm ready!" Ventus said, putting his hands on his waist with a proud expression.

"Definitely not" Vanitas said. Even though he didn't really like school he had to admit it had become… Bearable that year. He even had friends this time after all.

"I'm with Vanitas then!" Xion laughed, giving him a nudge "I mean, the only teachers I want to see again are Terra and Aqua. The others… I'll pass"

"Ugh... Same" Vanitas agreed with a gesture of his hand which made Xion laugh and Ventus smile. While chatting, the three of them followed the other students into their class and chose their seats, waiting for their teacher to arrive. The class itself wasn't that bad but once again they were all disappointed by the lack of practical lessons. Sure, it was a public school and they couldn't expect much from it, but it was hard not to do so when everyone had been so excited before.

Seeing that Ventus was feeling down, Xion held both boys by their arms and spoke "That's enough sadness for today! Why don't we go to the bakehouse again and have something to eat together? It'll be fun!"

It would be impossible to deny it with the girl looking at them like that. Just minutes later they were all sitting together, asking for drinks and food. Xion was sitting in front of Vanitas, who sat next to an already happier Ventus.

"So, any expectation for this semester?" He asked to them.

"I just hope Braig stops being such an ass" To Xion's dismay, Vanitas shook his head.

"Bad news. Been studying with him for three years now and no, he doesn't change. You know, I think he actually got worse"

A loud groan left the girl's mouth, much to Ventus' amusement who started laughing "Don't worry, Xi. We have other teachers to make up for his awful lessons"

"Yeah. Maybe Demyx gets to teach us practical lessons too… While the music school doesn't!" Vanitas added, trying to cheer Ventus up.

People came and went but the three stood there for over an hour before Ventus went to the bathroom. They were all ready to leave so Vanitas and Xion simply waited while Ven was away. It was then that Xion looked to the boy and spoke.

"So… How are you, Van?"

He blinked with no reaction, wondering if that was what she really wanted to ask, but replied anyway.

"I'm… Fine, thanks. You?"

"I'm alright" She waited a few more seconds "And how are things between you and Ven?"

"Me and Ven?"

"Yeah. You know, your… Relationship? If I can ask of course!"

Vanitas didn't say anything as if whatever he was thinking about was just sinking in because it truly was. It just hit him and he frowned, not because of her asking that but because of the question itself. He and Ven were… Good. Good, yeah, good. They loved each other and they spent much of their time together on vacation. But asking about them like this, about their relationship-

Xion noticed his confusion and stuttered "S… Sorry, I mean… Uh…It's obvious you're getting along well, I just wanted to check! You're just so cute together and uh, I'm sorry if this is rude to ask, I didn't meant to-"

The girl was blushing like mad out of embarrassment, afraid she had asked something she shouldn't but that wasn't the point. The point was yes they were alright, but her words suddenly made Vanitas question one thing that for some reason he had stopped thinking about some time ago.

He and Ventus… What were they? They had started liking each other months ago and then simply… Began to spend more time together until Vanitas was comfortable enough to go to his house and actually bond with his brother and his parents. One could say they were dating… But were they? Ventus had never said anything about it and ever since they first kissed Vanitas didn't really think about what they were supposed to be. If someone asked him what Ven was to him, could he say he was his… Boyfriend?

"Things are great!" He replied just as Ventus returned and sat by side, looking from one to the other.

"So, are you guys ready to go?"

"Yeah! Let's go!" Xion said and promptly stood up, leaving a confused blond and an embarrassed raven-haired boy behind as she took the lead. They shared confused glances and Vanitas shrugged as if he didn't know what had just happened. It seemed to be enough for Ventus, who held his hand and followed Xion.

Minutes later the three left home to enjoy what was left of the weekend and while Xion went to the other direction, Ventus and Vanitas waited for their bus. Vanitas was still thinking about what Xion said but Ventus had more important matters in his mind.

He held Vanitas' hand again, looking to his fingers before kissing each one of them. Vanitas raised his eyebrow but laughed a little confused.

"What are you doing, Ven?"

"Kissing your fingers"

"Yeah, I'm seeing that" He smiled and gently lifted Ven's chin to kiss his lips "But why?"

Ventus returned the kiss but even then he looked hesitant. Sighing, he looked up to Vanitas' eyes.

"Vani, look… It's okay to not tell me things. It's your right to keep them to yourself, but... But you don't have to lie about it either. You can just tell me you don't wanna talk about it and I'll understand"

Vanitas' mouth opened with surprise. What was Ven… Was he talking about their conversation from earlier?

"I know you don't want to worry me but lying will make it worse" Ventus continued with a sad frown "So if you're not comfortable with something you can let me know and I won't ask. Okay?"

And there it was. That sweet, caring smile that always, always made Vanitas shake to the core. How could someone be so pure and special he didn't know. But he knew that, whenever Ven spoke to him like this, he felt terrible for hiding things from him. He looked down, unsure of what to say or at least where to begin... But if he was going to tell him, might as well just get to the point at once.

"My mother called"

Ventus eyes widened and his grip around Vanitas' hand tightened "Your mother?"

"Last sunday. When I got home she was… Talking to my dad and… And he was screaming and then he wanted me to talk to her"

Vanitas kept on looking down, avoiding Ventus' worried and watchful gaze at all costs. His cheeks were burning and his heart was pounding hard against his chest, hands covered with sweat again. He pressed his lips together, still staring to his feet. Memories and unwanted thoughts filled his mind again. He could hear his father in the kitchen, opening up new bottles of whatever drink he could find. And then the silence that followed the entire week.

"What… What did she want with you?"

Ventus really hoped Vanitas' mother had called him to ask how he was doing, that they had talked for hours and laughed together, but judging by Vanitas' behavior he knew that hadn't been the case.

"... She… She didn't want anything. But she told my father that… Since I'll be turning eighteen in a few weeks I'll be an adult and so she won't be giving any more alimony. Which is fair I suppose. But dad wasn't too happy with that and wanted me to talk to her about it. To change her mind, I think that's what he wanted me to do"

Vanitas smirked with disgust. "She didn't even ask how I was doing. Didn't ask anything about me, at all. Eight years without seeing me and she didn't even-" He stopped for a moment, closing his eyes and breathing deep "She's just glad she won't have to give him any more money. That is all"

Ventus remained silent, unsure of what to say. He didn't know how Vanitas was feeling but just imagining his own mother treating him like that hurt. As if having that awful man as a father wasn't enough...

"I'm… I'm so sorry, Vani" There wasn't anything he could do to erase Vanitas' past or to take away the pain he felt towards his parents. It was all he could say "I… I really wish things had been different"

Vanitas nodded, avoiding to say anything more so he wouldn't cry before Ven and, worse, in public. If anyone other than Ventus saw him crying he might as well never leave his house again. Ventus put an arm around him and pulled him closer.

"Your father, how… How did he react to that?"

"... Better than I thought. He didn't try anything. Just… Drowned himself in alcohol, basically"

"Isn't that worse?" Ventus looked to him, his eyes filled with worry.

"As long as he's doing just that… No, it isn't. I'll be alright, Ven"

The bus arrived just as he said that and both went it, finding a seat for themselves again. Once they sat down, Ventus lay his head on Vanitas' arm.

"I'm scared for you. Are you… Are you sure we shouldn't… Tell someone?" Vanitas held his breath. Just the thought of letting someone else know made him feel tense. When he didn't reply, Ventus continued "Your birthday is in a few weeks… And then… We're going to tell. Right? You and me. No need to do that alone, yeah?"

Vanitas could feel his emotions trying to overtake him again. He had tried to be as direct as he could about his mother to avoid that but how could he when he had someone like Ventus to remind him that it was alright to _feel_?

He pulled Ven into an embrace and kissed his forehead, unable to hold back the silent tears for any longer. Pausing for a moment, he gathered his breath to speak.

"Yes, we are"

* * *

"Brother? Brother..."

"MMmmm..."

"Ventus!"

"Uh… Wha-..."

"Wake up!"

Roxas pulled the blankets off of him, throwing them on his own bed and laughing when Ventus complained, pushing himself into sitting position.

"Rox...!"

"No way we're arriving late today! Come on, mom is calling us!"

The younger-by-seven-minutes blond grumbled but soon enough joined his brother and mother for breakfast. He knew why Roxas was so excited for their first day of school after vacation: For the same reason he was!

Away with the initial awkwardness when meeting new people or getting to know their teachers! No more need to think about which class was theirs, no more worry about choosing the seats they'd use for the rest of the year, nothing! Basically the first day worries were out of the way; now all they wanted was to go back, see their friends and teachers and enjoy the rest of the year together.

A few minutes later and the twins were joined by Sora and Riku, the four friends then chatting all the way to the school. As they got to the school's street Ventus picked up the pace, running towards a very sleepy Vanitas and hugging him. A very comforting smile was on Ven's lips, which Vanitas was thankful for, holding his hand as they went inside.

Since saturday Vanitas had thought a lot about his conversation with Xion and also with Ventus at the bus stop, especially the one with Ven. Ventus was always true to him, always kind, always loving… Much more than he deserved. Perhaps things at home weren't so good and perhaps he was going back to feeling depressed, but nothing would change what he felt for Ventus. And with that in mind and with what Xion said, he knew it was about time they made it... Official.

Only he didn't know how to because he had never done that before.

"Vani, let's go!"

Ventus pulled him by his arm and they followed the others back to their old barely got there however and Luxord followed, putting his books nonchalantly over his desk and running his hand on his face as the students sat down.

"Welcome back, everyone! Did you get some well deserved rest?"

"I could handle a few more days, actually..." Sora said, making not only his friends but also the teacher laugh.

"I'm sure we all could, Sora. But, well, here we are!" Luxord put his hand on his waist "Alright then! I believe you all remember how easy our first class of the year was… I went real soft on you. And well, just like our friend Sora said" He pointed to the boy "I'm sure everyone here would enjoy a few more days off. Well… If you comply and do a few revision exercises, I could let you free for the rest of our time. What do you say?"

As expected everyone agreed: No way they'd deny having some more time to do some catching up! And so the first hours of the day were spent chatting with friends and telling silly jokes while they still could.

When the bell rang signaling the end of Luxord's class Vanitas, who had been resting his head in his hands ever since they got there, finally noticed he was being stared at. Ventus was looking to him with a soft smile, light blue eyes shining at him.

"...Can I help you?" Vanitas asked and Ven laughed "What is it?"

"Isn't it funny?" The blond boy smiled wider "In our first day of school I caught myself staring at you… And you got mad because of it! You used to push me away and I was actually kinda scared. But now… I can't see myself coming here without you. It's nice how things changed, isn't it?"

Vanitas blushed violently and his own eyes shined bright as he stared at Ventus. Every thought he had had since saturday popped back into his mind and he smiled as well, shaking his head.

"Yeah… It really is"

Their first week coming back from vacation was definitely much better than the first of the year. Being together at their usual spot during lunch breaks, sharing books and files to help with their studies, having fun during Aeleus classes, everything felt much easier to enjoy. And yet, all Vanitas had in mind at the moment was this next step he wanted to take with Ven.

It felt as if he'd taken to long to ask him about it. As if he hadn't shown to be serious enough about their relationship. While it hadn't been that long, Vanitas couldn't stop feeling that way simply because Xion had brought it up without even knowing. And so he spent the last five days trying to think of how to talk to Ventus about the matter, how to let his feeling be known and to show him how much he wanted to be with him!

How though? He couldn't simply walk up to him and say it, could he?

It wasn't like he could ask anyone about that. There was Axel who was older than him and whose number he still had saved, but there was no way he was going to ask advice from him! He could end up talking about it with Roxas who'd then talk about it with Ven and-

No, there had to be someone else he could talk to about… Those matters. Vanitas supposed one could talk about that with their parents but that wasn't his case. He spent the entire weekend thinking about it, wondering if he was being stupid for making such a fuss about this, questioning why he felt so nervous when Ventus said he loved him back, and the solution he needed only came to him on their second Tuesday of the semester when Terra entered the classroom.

Part of him told him not do it. Still, he couldn't deny he felt relieved remembering how supportive Terra had been to him before. Going against his will, he waited until class was over and it was lunch time to talk to him. Telling Ventus to go ahead without him, he waited patiently until the teacher could talk. He just wished his hands weren't shaking so much.

"Alright, Vanitas!" Terra said once no one else was in the room "What was it that you didn't understand?"

Vanitas almost stopped functioning for a moment, staring down to his fidgeting fingers "I… Actually, I… This isn't about the lesson, professor"

"Oh… I see. Do you want to talk?"

"Yeah, but it's… Not too important" The boy ran his hand on his hair "I… Need, uh, an advice. If that's not a problem"

"Of course. How can I help?"

Vanitas took a deep breath. He was blushing, he felt awkward and should have probably just left, but Terra noticed he was nervous and smiled with care, telling him to continue.

"I… Uh… I want to ask Ventus to… Be my…. Boyfriend but I don't know how to do it!" He almost spit the last words and now he really wanted to get out of there. All he had to do was to go to Ventus and ask him, just that! But then why did it feel so difficult that he wanted to make sure-?

Terra smiled with care "Are you nervous?"

Vanitas nodded, still ashamed "I'm sorry for bothering, professor, this isn't even something you have to worry about anyway, just-"

"You're not bothering me. But a coffee would be nice" Terra stood up "Come with me. I'll get some for us and then we can talk"

Vanitas did as he was told, not able to hide just how awkward he felt while passing by his friends accompanied by a teacher. He observed Terra greet his wife at the teacher's room before getting two cups of coffee, ignoring everything the other adults were talking about and then going back to him, calling him to the entrance of the school where they could talk with no one around.

"So… What would you like to know exactly?" Terra asked, he and Vanitas now sitting on the sidewalk like two friends except one of them was having difficulty even holding his cup. The boy took a sip of the hot drink and sighed.

"I don't know. I suppose I could just… Ask him. I never had someone like Ventus before. I feel... Nervous"

"I can imagine how you feel. However, you and Ven seem to really get along"

Vanitas smiled to himself "Yeah. I... Want to make him happy"

Terra listened to him with attention. It was still kind of odd to be here talking to Vanitas like this considering how much he had changed "What would you like to do?"

"I don't even know what I'm gonna say to him" He finished drinking and put the cup next to him, his eyes on the street "I could… Take him somewhere he likes. Have him enjoy a pleasant night before saying something. But I'm afraid he'll say no"

Terra crossed his arms. He remembered very well his own nervousness when he asked Aqua on a date when they were also two teens "Well, if what you feel is real then you shouldn't hold it in. Show him that you really care, Ventus will be happy with that. And, you know… You already seem to make him happy"

Vanitas looked at him, surprised "You think?"

"You don't?" Terra laughed "Well, your idea of taking him somewhere nice isn't bad"

"What if I choose place he doesn't like though? Or… Or a place where he doesn't feel comfortable?"

"You seem to be afraid of a lot of things, Vanitas" Terra said with compassion "You shouldn't be. But… Does that mean you have somewhere in mind?"

"No… No, not really. But even if did I don't have anything to wear. I'd have to… Borrow it from someone. Again."

Terra listened with a smile on his face. He sat closer to his student.

"Vanitas, tell me something… Why do you like Ventus?"

The boy blushed violently "W… What do you mean…?"

"Do you like him because of the things he has? Maybe because of how he dresses? I don't know… Perhaps because of his house? Maybe because he has money, I don't know?"

"Of course not! Ventus..." Vanitas stared down to his own hands. Whenever he thought of him the first thing that came to mind was his smile. His eyes that always glimmered with life when they stared at him. The way he spoke, the hugs he loved to give. His voice. His face.

Terra laughed "See? None of those things I said matter. What matters is that you care about him. Anywhere, any occasion would be special for you if you're together, right? Why should it be different for Ven?"

Vanitas agreed with a nod, still a little tense. Of course it was normal to feel like this but it would be great if he could simply ignore that like he did with everything else. The teen breathed deep and looked back to the teacher.

"So… Should I just… Ask him? Anywhere?"

"Don't think twice!"

As the next days came and went Vanitas only felt more anxious as he gathered up the courage to finally talk to the boy. His professor's words about why he liked Ven were still in his mind and he began to pay more attention to each of Ven's mannerisms, finding out that there was even more things he liked about him that he hadn't thought of before. Everything just seemed to come naturally to the boy and Vanitas loved that. He loved everything about him, even when he talked nonstop or held him tight in a suffocating embrace.

It was Friday when he decided to try. He waited until class was over and asked Ventus to wait for him while he checked something. Telling Roxas to go ahead, Ventus did wait for Vanitas while he did whatever he needed to not knowing he had spent the last fifteen minutes at the school garden, finally picking one of the many small flowers there was and gently putting it in his pants pocket, overthinking all the time he was there.

When the boys finally left school, the gates already being shut due to the time, Vanitas put his hands in his pockets and walked beside Ventus.

"It was a pretty cool day, wasn't it? Aeleus was pretty chill too! Even Marluxia seemed to be calmer for some reason" Ventus said to Vanitas' relief because he didn't know if he'd be able to start a conversation right now.

"Y-Yeah… Indeed" Vanitas gulped and he could feel the droplets of sweat already gathering on his neck and between his fingers.

"Thank God weekend is here though! I feel so tired… Do you have any plans for tomorrow? I'm thinking of laying on bed the whole day. You could join me if you were up to it" He added with a silly tilt of his head.

"Uhum" Vanitas nodded and agreed with everything Ventus said but he had no idea what he was talking about. His attention was only focused on their surroundings and he looked to the street. There was no one else around and his heart felt as if about to burst! He held onto his necklace again.

"... Vani, you're quiet. Are you ok-?"

Ventus stopped moving, Vanitas now right in front of him with a somewhat brave look on his face, a small slightly smashed flower in his hand. His cheeks were red and he was shaking but there was no turning back now. Although part of him regretted that decision because he felt as if about to faint, the other part of him told him to go on and he listened to it.

"Ven! Ventus…. I-"

Seeing Ventus' cheeks turn pínk made Vanitas blush more as well and he held the flower closer to his chest, laughing nervously while trying to speak.

"Look… You… Uh-"

"Y… Yes?"

He opened his mouth again uselessly because no words came out "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Ven, I'm so nervous, I-!"

Maybe he would have given up right there... But then the boy took Vanitas' free hand in his own with a smile "D… Don't be"

Vanitas froze for a moment, his mouth slightly open as he stared to the most beautiful person he had ever seen. Looking at those blue eyes full of joy and love, Vanitas could feel his fear slowly melting away and he gulped, holding Ventus' hand back and, with a deep breath, offered him the flower.

"V-Ven… I… You… I want… I'd like to ask something because… Because I... I love you and... God, I suck so much at this, I must be sounding awful right no but will you-" He offered him the flower "W-Will you be my boyfriend?"

Days before asking him, Vanitas had already imagined Ventus' reaction. He imagined him staying still, thinking, maybe considering what to say before answering. But in reality Ventus didn't have to think about it all! As soon as Vanitas finished Ven pulled him and their lips met, intertwined in a deep, caring, lovingly kiss where neither of them wanted to let go. He closed his fingers around Vanitas', their bodies fully touching now, sharing whatever breath they still had left, their smiles alone able to lighten up the sky.

"Yes!" Ventus said "Yes, yes!"

"R... Really?"

"Really really!" Ventus wrapped his arms tight around him and lay his head on his chest, listening to Vanitas' heart beating just as fast as his own before feeling him hug him back.

Ventus stood on his tiptoes so their noses touched, sharing a sweet eskimo kiss in broad daylight. Vanitas smiled and then laughed as well, his nervousness finally vanishing as he kissed Ventus again, suddenly not caring anymore if someone showed up and saw them. If that happened, it would be the least of his worries because just like Chris told him to, he should let Ventus know how important he was to him. Just like Terra said, he loved him for who he was and that was what mattered. And although they had been friends for months and had shared more than just kisses, it was then that Vanitas knew: As long as Ventus was with him, everything would be alright. And with that thought he leaned in closer to feel his soft, sweet lips against his own once more.


	41. Chapter 41

"... Are we going to tell them now?"

By them Vanitas meant Ventus' family. It was Saturday, just one day after they had officially started dating, and Vanitas was at Ventus' home laying on the bed with him while Roxas watched TV downstairs with their parents. The blond had a relaxed smile on his lips, his fingers leisurely twisting around the other's dark hair.

"... What do you think? Should we? Or... Maybe we should wait a little longer?"

Unlike Ven, Vanitas had worry written all over his face. He didn't really want to tell them about it, not because he didn't trust Ventus' parents but because he was nervous and really didn't want that to show!

"Do you think they'll be alright with it?"

"I think they will" Ventus said in a sweet tone of voice, kissing his now boyfriend's forehead "I'm just nervous because… You know… I've never been in a relationship before. So… I just don't know how to… Tell them?"

"... Me neither"

"Boys! Come down for lunch"

They looked to each other with a nervous and yet funny look. It wasn't until Ventus' father called them a second time that the boys finally left the bed, exchanging a last worried glance before going down the stairs to join the rest of the family.

"I was talking to your mother..." Ventus' father began a few minutes later "What do you say we watch a movie after lunch? I could go and buy some dessert for us too"

"Sure! It'll be fun! Right, Vani?"

Vanitas nodded, watching Ventus who was eating vigorously, his hand shaking as he held the fork. He looked back to the adults and then to Roxas, smiling at them in an attempt to hide just how much he wanted to run away from there!

"Alright then!" It was their mother "You can help me with the dishes while your father goes out. Then you can go and choose the movie as well"

Under the table Vanitas held Ventus' free hand, trying to help him calm down a little bit. The boy looked to him with a shy smile, thanking him, and although Vanitas didn't say anything his eyes gave him the support he needed.

"Mom? Dad?"

The adults and Roxas immediately focused their attention on him, not failing to notice the tint of red on his and also on Vanitas' cheeks. As if they had been expecting that - because in fact they were - the three of them waited in silence until the boys were ready to speak.

"We… We've got something to tell you!" Ventus said. Vanitas looked to him and then to Roxas, who stared at him in a way that would've made him laugh in other circumstances. Feeling Ventus' fingers tighten around his own, he swallowed his fear and looked back to the adults, trying very hard to keep smiling.

"We are dating!" He announced, and instantly felt drips of sweat gather on his and Ventus' hand.

"Oh my God!" Their mother exclaimed with an ear to ear smile and put her hands on her cheeks, a gleeful glimmer in her eye. Her husband smiled just as much as her and crossed his arms with a vigorous head shake, an approving look in his eyes.

"Well, I wasn't going to say it, but… We always knew you two would be more than friends"

Ventus let out a loud, relieved sigh when he said that and Vanitas actually laughed, closing his eyes and savoring that sweet warmth as Ventus' family shared their care with them. The adults stood up and Ventus' mother made sure to hug both boys at once, squeezing them in her arms.

"Oh, you-!" She said, squeezing them more.

"M-Moom-!"

Vanitas blushed, still looking at her after she let go "I'm really happy for you! But you have to promise me, you two will continue to study hard and be just as responsible as you are now!"

"It's a promise!" Ventus said and Vanitas nodded in agreement just as Ventus' father walked to them, putting one of his hands on Vanitas' shoulder and the other on his son's.

"Vanitas… Ventus… Me and your mother had been expecting this for some time now. I am happy you decided to tell us and I'm happy for your decision as well. But I must ask: Are you aware of what this means? Like your mother said, you're still young and have a lot of study ahead of you. I trust both of you won't forget that?"

Vanitas nodded "Yes, sir. Ventus… Means everything to me. I want… I want to make him happy. I promise I won't let you down"

"Vani… " Ventus chuckled and looked away flustered.

That was enough to make his father laugh out loud. The man pulled the two boys into yet another embrace but this time Ventus was blushing too much to mind. And Vanitas…

It was as if a gush of wind had taken all of his worries away at once, faster than he ever thought possible. He didn't exactly expect Ventus' parents to freak out over the fact that their son was dating another boy, but their reactions were nothing like he expected them to be. They were genuine and much, much better than he had ever hoped for.

It was then that Roxas' gaze fell on him and Vanitas chuckled. Even though the blond was happy there was something more in his eyes, his thoughts easy to read. _If you dare to hurt my little brother, I'll make you regret it_ , they said. The memory of the three of them months ago when Roxas still hated him to the core made Vanitas laugh again and the older blond crossed his arms, shaking him head.

Who would've thought they'd come this far! The beginning of the year felt like a very distant past now; all of the stress, those meaningless fights and misunderstandings seemed to belong to an almost forgotten time. Even Roxas was happy for his brother and even for Vanitas, the guy he wanted Ventus away from. So much had changed since until now and seeing how happy the two of them were right now…

Maybe the best of the year was still to come.

* * *

That monday Vanitas didn't wait until classes started. The bell still had to ring and the teachers still had to arrive when he left Ventus with his brother at the schoolyard and walked to the staff room, looking for the one person he trusted enough to share the news with.

When he saw the teacher who was coincidentally walking in his direction Vanitas refrained himself from calling him because Aqua was by his side, but the moment she saw the look on his face she smiled and left on her own. Vanitas blushed; by their looks Terra had probably talked to her about their conversation as well. Trying to ignore that sudden knowledge, he looked back to the adult and greeted him.

"Vanitas, good morning! You look happy!"

"He said yes! I asked him on Friday just as we left school and he said yes!"

"Haha, that's great, Vanitas! What did you do for him?"

"I… I just asked while going home. I was really nervous so I picked a flower from the gardens and-" He stopped, awkwardly staring to the teacher while cursing himself in his mind "Uh… Please, don't tell Marluxia?"

Terra raised an eyebrow at him and shook his head, but his voice was soft and he was actually holding back his laughter "I'll let this one go. So you gave him a flower?"

"Yes. And he… He actually helped me, I was freaking out"

"Well, who wouldn't be? It's not something easy to do but, hey, you did it!"

"Yeah! I… " He rubbed at his arm "I wanted to tell you because… You helped me and I... Wanted to thank you"

Terra put a hand on his shoulder and Vanitas looked up to him. Terra's reassuring grip made him feel at ease and he held his breath for a moment "There's no need to thank me, really. I will always help you whenever I can!"

"... Thank you, sir."

"Terra is fine, Vanitas."

"Terra. Thank you, Terra!"

Vanitas smiled again and a quite happy chuckle left his lips too. He really enjoyed just how calm the professor's voice was and how caring he was too. It wasn't the first time he'd helped him and although hesitant Vanitas now knew that, yes, he could trust the man. He didn't know if Terra and Aqua had any children, but if they did that would be a very lucky child.

He looked down and his stomach churned. In his heart he still did and would always yearn for the love of a parent, of an adult that actually cared for him.

"Vanitas? Are you okay?"

The boy looked up again. Ventus wanted him to tell someone about… Everything. If only he could do that right now, maybe things would get better. Maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't feel too guilty for telling someone just how much Xehanort hurt him.

"I..."

If only.

"I'm alright, thank you. You?"

And just like that Terra opened his arms, offering to pull him closer, and Vanitas allowed him to as natural and eager as he was, closing his eyes and relaxing into the man's embrace. When the bell rang and even as the other teachers passed by Vanitas didn't let go. His face buried on the man's chest, he was glad he couldn't see their faces and that they couldn't see his as well. It helped him calm down for a moment and Terra let him, caringly rubbing his back.

It felt nice.

* * *

With school back, soon all the stress and frustrations would return and the teenagers would have to deal with another six months of studying before they had a break again. Thankfully, life was going back to normal.

Vanitas sat next to Xion, joining her in watching Ventus and Ienzo play chess. They were the only ones on their usual spot that day - Roxas hadn't come to school and Sora and Riku were by themselves somewhere else.

Xion groaned loudly "Uugh… I still have to start Saix's assignment… God, I hate Sociology"

"I hate Saix" Vanitas said, shrugging.

"Oh, I hate him too"

Ventus looked away from the chessboard "Stop complaining you too! We barely came back from vacation!"

"Pay attention, Ven, you just left your Queen unprotected" Ienzo spoke calmly, taking Ventus' piece.

"Ahhh, damn it!"

"What about Xemnas' though? Do you think he meant what he said about a test per month?" Xion asked Vanitas.

"Probably. When he says something, he means it. Huh… At least that'll make failing the year more interesting"

The girl frowned and the other two boys looked at him.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing. I guess I'm just tired of starting over and over again."

Ienzo frowned "Are you worried about failing the year again?"

Vanitas nodded, resting his arms on the bench and looking up "Yeah"

"That's not going to happen though" Xion intervened "You're getting some good grades lately!"

"Xion is right" Ienzo continued and took another of Ventus' chess pieces "We've got your back, so if you need help we're here. You shouldn't worry about it too much"

Vanitas said nothing despite being thankful for the support and stared down to his feet, thinking to himself. Ventus smiled.

"Vani, it will be okay! Like Ien said, we've got your back! Besides you've got Terra and Aqua too! I know you like them so they could give you some advice if you asked"

"Yeah, I guess so"

Xion gave him a pat on his shoulder "Come on, Van. You need to relax a little bit. What do you guys say we go to the mall one of these days? We could eat something and just take a stroll around the shops!"

"I'm on it!" Ventus said promptly, followed by Ienzo. Vanitas shrugged.

"Well… Sure, why no-?"

"It'd be a good way to celebrate your birthday, too!"

Vanitas blinked a few times. Time was a funny thing; it felt like he had talked to Ventus about it yesterday but in fact it had been more than a month and now there was only one week left before he turned eighteen! That realization brought back his conversation with his mother and his father's odd behavior, a bad taste back into his mouth.

He pushed those thoughts aside "Celebrate?"

"Well, yeah! It's a special day, we should do something special too, right?"

"I agree!" Ienzo said "Check mate, Ven"

"Aww, Ien!"

"... Why would it be a special day?"

The three looked at him with confused and now worried expressions! He forced his teeth together, regretful for not thinking before speaking although he truly did not understand.

"You… Don't you celebrate your birthday?" Xion asked with an almost hurt expression. Ventus looked back to the chessboard.

"Uh, not really. I don't… Enjoy birthday parties nor anything like that. Sorry"

"Oh…"

"We could celebrate at the mall then!" Ventus spoke so neither Xion nor Ienzo could ask any further. He didn't know that, he didn't know Vanitas didn't like birthday parties but it was clear from his expression that Xion had just touched a sore spot. He would have to ask him about that later "What do you say, Vani?"

The parties weren't exactly the problem. Vanitas had never celebrated before simply because his father never let him. It's a waste of time and money, he would say. It's just a day like any other, he would say again.

Now that he thought about it, his birthday must be the worst day of the year for his father. The day in which he was forced to remember the unwanted child that had been born.

"That way it won't be exactly a party but we still get to be with you! Right, guys?"

"Good idea! We can spend the day there, maybe eat something too!" Xion beamed excitedly and Ienzo smiled.

"We could even watch a movie if you'd like. I mean, it'll be your day. You can choose"

"I… I appreciate it. But-" Vanitas stared to and from each one of them with a confused expression. He was getting used to Ventus showing just how much he cared but having his friends do that as well was something else. He sighed "... Well, we still have a week to think about that. Then we can decide"

"One week!" Ventus repeated and then blew him a kiss, which made Vanitas blush and look away with a shy smile.

* * *

On September 2nd Vanitas left his bed around 8 AM. Surprisingly he didn't feel tired. He was excited, a little tense even, but mostly eager to meet his friends at the mall... To celebrate his birthday!

He wondered what it would be like. Sure, they weren't going to do anything out of the ordinary, probably just walk around and have something to eat, maybe even check the movies and do… What else? There wasn't too much to do other than wander around the place but the realization that they were doing that for him made him feel like a child. A happy, bouncy child like he used to be.

Noticing his father wasn't home, the teen had his breakfast in silence. He stretched his arms above his head, breathing deep and relaxing and just as he got himself another cup of coffee his cell phone rang.

"Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday my Vani, happy birthday to you!"

"Oh my God, Ven" Vanitas threw his head back, laughing out loud and sitting down again "Thank you"

"How are you? Did you sleep well? Are you excited for today?"

"I'm okay, yes and yes" He smiled, staring to the ceiling "What about you?"

"I'm good! Did you already have breakfast?"

"I'm doing that right now. Would you like some?"

Ventus chuckled "No, thanks. I'm having tea at the moment"

"Heh" He took a sip from his cup "So, I'll meet you guys there at noon?"

"Yeah. But I talked to Sora and Riku yesterday and they won't be able to go… They'll be busy throughout the day"

"It's alright. Is someone else going?"

"Ienzo and Xion already confirmed they're going. My brother and Axel too!"

"Almost like last time"

"Almost like last time!" Ventus smiled to himself "I'll see you there then! Enjoy your breakfast! I love you!"

"Will do" Vanitas hesitated but since his father wasn't around he was able to say it "I love you too"

The moment Ventus hang up Vanitas widened his eyes, not believing what he was seeing: Messages, many of them, coming from each one of his friends popped on the screen! Sora apologizing for not going to the mall but wishing him to enjoy his day. Riku doing the same, promising to go next year and saying he'd buy him a nice gift. Xion sending him a lot of cute cakes and cats emoticons and Ienzo actually sending him a voice note wishing him a great day! Vanitas couldn't keep the smile off of his face and he didn't for the whole morning.

His father arrived just a few minutes before it was time for him to leave. Vanitas put his cell phone and a little bit of money in his pocket, humming as he made his way to the door. He was wondering if he should send a message to Ven letting him know he was already going when Xehanort stood up from the couch.

"Wait!"

A chill ran down his spine and he stopped just an inch away from the door. Vanitas turned around fearing what he might see, but his father didn't look angry. That alone made him feel uneasy.

"… Yes, sir?"

Xehanort walked to him and, in shock, Vanitas noticed he looked… Sad? The adult sighed heavily, once again making it obvious just how tired he was, and then put a hand on his son's shoulder.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm… Going out with my friends"

"For your birthday?"

"Yes" Dear God, he remembered.

"Right..." Xehanort tightened his grip around Vanitas' shoulder "Listen to me, boy. I know these past few days have been though… Your mother doing such a thing to me… To us"

Vanitas blinked in utter confusion and nervousness. What was going on? Why was his father speaking like that, why wasn't he screaming or just ignoring him?

"I am trying to find another job that will help us. I'll be able to help you with school and pay our bills… With no need of any charity she ought to give. But still… It might not be enough, son"

There was sweat already forming at his brow. For some reason, having Xehanort talk like this scared him to the core. For a very confusing and contradictory moment, Vanitas realized he'd rather have him screaming.

"Do… You want me to help?"

"Yes" Xehanort sat on the couch, finally letting go of the boy "For now… Enjoy the day. It is your day after all, you should enjoy it. But from tomorrow forward I'll need you to try harder my son. For both of us"

Vanitas nodded and for a moment he felt like his younger self again. Seeing Xehanort there, talking to him in that soft tone of voice, just like on the day before his graduation from middle school. Just before he-

He shivered and nodded again out of spite, looking away "Yes, sir. Can I go now? My... They're waiting for me, I'll be late"

Xehanort smiled. He looked so old "Sure you can. I'll talk to you again tomorrow."

"Yeah" He turned around and opened the door "I'm sorry I'm in a hurry-"

"It's alright. And, my son… Happy birthday"

Vanitas couldn't even force a smile.

* * *

"Happy Birthday, Vani!"

Ventus hugged him and Vanitas smiled, hugging him back and laying his head on Ventus' shoulder while Xion and Ienzo walked up to them. As he pulled away he felt someone ruffle his hair from behind and turned around, frowning but still smiling nonetheless.

"Happy Birthday, man!" Axel said and gave him a nudge, Roxas right beside the redhead wishing him a happy day as well.

Except for Sora and Riku, all of their friends were there just like months ago when he first joined them. He didn't know what to expect and was actually afraid they'd make a fuss about 'his day' but thankfully they didn't: All they wanted was for him to enjoy his time with them. And he did.

The teenagers spent the entire afternoon at the mall. They walked from store to store, checking out the games they wanted to play, getting some sweets to eat, chatting and joking nonstop. When they passed by the musical instruments shop they had been in the last time Ventus pulled Vanitas inside, soon followed by Xion who was telling Ienzo all about their music classes. Even hours later it still felt kind of weird knowing that those people were there for him, but everyone was so excited and happy that he wouldn't trade that moment for anything else.

They all arrived at the twins' house around 7 PM. While everyone went inside Ventus asked Vanitas to wait and so they sat on the sidewalk and waited until they were alone. Ventus held Vanitas' hands with both of his, bringing them to his lips to kiss his fingers.

"Did you enjoy your day?"

"I loved it, Ven! Thank you" Vanitas kissed the blond's forehead and smiled then laughed. He was happy, happy and safe there with Ven and the others. He could hear the twins' parents talking to their friends, thinking about just how lucky he was for being there. Thinking about-

"I love your smile"

He was caught off guard and turned to Ventus, surprised.

"I love your laughter. And your voice. And the way you hold my hand" Ventus kissed his hand again "I love everything about you, but… When I saw you for the first time what caught my attention the most… Were your eyes"

"My- Eyes?"

He hated his eyes. They always gave away what he tried to hide: Pain, sadness, hatred… And the yellow color, his everyday reminder of his father. How could Ventus love them? How-

"I remember looking at you and feeling… Surprised. Amazed I guess. They were filled with something I couldn't quite explain back then and they shined with an intensity I had never felt with anyone before. I thought... I was afraid of them"

Vanitas teared up.

"But then I saw you in the bathroom that day and I felt something different in you. That day I… I wanted to protect you. This feeling, it got stronger and… Well, I feel in love with you. But only now I know why they attracted me so much" Ventus stared directly to him "They are fierce. And when you laugh they glimmer with the same intensity as they did back then! They could only be so strong coming from someone equally strong. Someone who's been able to go through a lot and still be here today"

"Ven..."

Ventus held his face with both hands "You're special. You're important. You're loved, Vanitas! Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise!"

The blond kissed his forehead with gentleness, pulling him into his arms and letting him lay his head on his chest.

"I have you right here with me. And that alone is worth celebrating. Don't forget that, okay?"

Vanitas felt a lump in his throat and leaned onto Ventus' warmth. The boy didn't know about his attempts at ending his life so he couldn't know just how much his words meant but he probably felt it when the tears Vanitas had been holding back fell on his shirt. He held Vanitas tight, caressing his face and stroking his hair.

"Ven… "

"Yeah?"

"... Thank you"

"For what?"

"For everything"

Vanitas kissed him. He kissed him with kindness, with passion, stroking his face as he did, kissing him deeper and deeper with each breathe they shared. He was thankful, so thankful for having Ventus in his life and even though it was hard to deal with everything that happened to him he knew it would be worth it in the end. Because he too deserved to be happy, he too deserved to have a better life. Ventus reminded him of that.

A few minutes passed before they decided to go inside. Ven walked in front of him, leading the way. They could hear the sound of the TV coming from his parent's room and saw the light from his bedroom on the stairs. Ventus went into the kitchen holding Vanitas' hand as he did and it was then that he turned on the lights and joined the many voices that spoke in unison!

"SURPRISE!"

Vanitas jumped, startled, his eyes open wide staring to the people gathered on the kitchen.

Axel was next to Roxas, the blonds' parents next to them. Xion and Ienzo were right in front of him, clapping their hands excitedly, Xion even bouncing slightly! Sora and Riku were each on one side of the kitchen, their arms open as if trying to hold everyone at once. On the table there was a cake and next to him a plate with chocolate truffles on it!

Vanitas took a deep breath and started to laugh with relief and a little bit of nervousness. Ventus' heart was filled with relief as well and soon enough everyone was walking to Vanitas, giving him their best wishes.

"Now that you're eighteen you'll wish you were 17. Like me, only I am 21" Axel said giving him a tap on his back.

"We still have a lot of chess to play together. I hope you're ready to lose more times" Ienzo joked, challenging him.

"When I'm good at playing the violin we must play something together, Van!"

Ventus watched all of them walk to him and teared up when he noticed Vanitas wouldn't stop smiling. Even when his parents greeted him he thanked them with utmost respect but above it all with happiness. Ventus was the last one to go to him and hugged him tight, giving him a quick kiss and holding him by his hand again, walking to the table.

"Ienzo baked the cake!" Xion said excitedly and Vanitas widened his eyes, unsure of how to react "You'll love it!"

"He… he did?"

"I hope you like it, Vanitas!"

He couldn't even speak. They really did that for him? All of them, even Sora and Riku who were busy earlier, everyone had taken their time to be there? Ienzo had even gone as far as to bake a whole cake for him?!

"Alright, let's all wish Van a happy birthday!" Sora spoke "And then you blow up the candles and make a wish. Just don't say it out loud or else it won't come true!"

"Oh God"

"Yeah, Van! Let's go, everyone!"

Despite it being his eighteenth birthday, for Vanitas that was the first real one. Not because of the date, but because of what he felt. He watched his friends singing to him with tears in his eyes and while in the past he would've cursed himself for getting emotional before so many people this time he didn't. He didn't because looking to each of one of his them and seeing how happy they were for him…

They felt like family.

"Make a wish, Vani!"

Vanitas thought and blew out the candles, chuckling with all the clapping that followed. Ienzo was quick to start cutting the cake and Xion helped him with it. The chatting then began and before Vanitas realized he was laughing and joking while they went to the backyard, giving a slice of cake for everyone. They all sat on the grass, just like Ventus and Vanitas did when they had their little picnic, and spoke about their day, about school, about everything!

Vanitas sat next to Ventus, hugging him and resting his head on his shoulder while listening to the others talk. Ventus held his hand.

"What did you wish for?" Roxas asked and Axel pinched him on his sides "Hey!"

"If he tells you it won't become real! Get it memorized, Rox!"

"Aww, come on!"

Vanitas laughed, stroking Ventus' hair as he leaned into his embrace. He had already wished for many things in his life. If he was to think about all of them he'd have too much to ask for but right now he just needed one thing. The only thing he wanted the most after that moment.

For him to never feel alone again.


	42. Chapter 42

"A little more to the left! There, it's perfect!"

Vanitas carefully moved the claw a little bit closer to the stuffed animal, the same dog plushie they had seen at the mall months ago. Ventus didn't take his eyes off it but Vanitas only stared to the claw, making sure it wasn't swinging too much, just enough to be able to grab the fluffy thing.

"I think this will do." For some reason Vanitas knew they'd get it this time. It was a certainty he couldn't quite explain but the moment the plush was grabbed and then dropped for them to catch he clapped his hands in victory.

"Hell, yes!"

"You got him!" Ventus jumped and picked it up, squeezing it in arms before giving Vanitas a kiss on his cheek "Way to go!"

"Heh. I told you I'd get him."

"You did! And it's so fluffy! More than I thought it was!"

Vanitas hugged Ventus from behind "What will you call it?"

"Hmm, I don't know. Any ideas?"

"Let's see..." Vanitas looked down to the plush. It was fluffy alright, its white fur soft to the touch and blue eyes just like Ventus'. He tilted his head and pretended to be in deep thinking when a name simply popped in his mind but it was soon forgotten when he looked up for a moment and saw a figure standing a few meters away from them.

"Vani?"

He didn't reply. He couldn't. All color washed out from his face and the hair on his neck stood on its end. His mouth dried up and he realized in horror that he was holding Ventus' hand just as his father's eyes fell over them.

"Vanitas, what's wrong?" Ventus turned around to look but Vanitas didn't even move. He couldn't move!

"What is this?" Xehanort asked and even though he was meters away Vanitas could hear his voice inside his head. Then he heard something being ripped in half and then the sound of the belt striking the ground but aiming for his back-

"Are you a man or not?!"

"Y-Yes, sir-!"

"Then you will act like one!"

"Dad, please, please dad, it hurts, it hurts too much-!"

"Shut up!"

"Dad, I'm sorry-!"

"What are the rules?"

"It hurts!"

"Vanitas?"

Vanitas woke up with a violent shudder, frantically looking around when he felt a gentle touch on his hair.

"Hey, shhh… It's alright. It's okay, I'm here!"

He grasped at whatever was under his hand only to realize it was Ventus' leg. Vanitas blinked tight forcing himself to wake up, and noticed they were in the living room, an unknown movie airing on the TV before them. Ventus was still stroking his hair, speaking softly to calm him down and so Vanitas remembered what exactly he was doing there.

Ienzo made a cake for him and all of their friends went to Ventus' house to celebrate his birthday. After everyone left, Roxas went upstairs but they decided to watch a movie in the living room. He lay on the couch with his head on Ventus' lap and stared to the TV… And then nothing more. He must have dozed off while watching it.

"Had a bad dream?" Ventus' voice spoke somewhere above him, a soft, worried voice.

"Y… Yeah… Kind of." He closed his eyes again and sat straight, rubbing his eyes. Ventus looked at him, worried.

"I'll get you some water-."

"No, no, it's okay. I'm alright" Vanitas smiled at him and took both of his hands in his own. He didn't want Ventus to worry "Ven, do you… Still want that dog from the mall?"

Ventus looked confused for a moment "Dog...? Oh, you mean from the claw machine? That was months ago!"

"It was! But… Do you still want it?"

"Hmm… I think it is very cute but you gave me Chirithy and he's way cuter!" Ventus said happily "I'm not sure if I want it anymore. Why?"

Vanitas chuckled "Well, in my dream I was trying to get it for you. So I thought you still wanted it."

"Really? And did you get it?"

"... No. It was a bad dream after all, right?"

Ventus laughed and Vanitas smiled. He supposed a small lie like that didn't hurt.

"Your bad dream… Had you trying to get me a plushie and failing at it?"

"What about it?"

The boy shook his head "Vani..."

Vanitas looked at him, met with the sweetest expression he had ever seen. His boyfriend was so beautiful. The way his light blue eyes observed him, always filled with kindness and compassion, was much more than he deserved.

"... Why are you looking at me like that?" Ventus asked. Vanitas held his face in his hands.

"… No reason."

He leaned closer and kissed him, happy when Ventus kissed him back. How could he resist? After all they were alone now, everyone else was either asleep or just relaxing in their own rooms. Ventus seemed to feel the same way because he slowly but perceptively shifted his position so he was laying on the couch, under Vanitas.

"Heh… You're so cute" Ventus said and Vanitas chuckled.

"I'm not- You're the cute one around here, Ven."

"Look at you being cute again!"

They kissed once more, hands roaming around, fingers so eagerly going for the other's face and hair, both of them smiling and giggling all the time. Vanitas' nightmare was pushed aside for a while and he appreciated that.

"Vani?"

"Hm?"

"... I love you!"

Vanitas smiled at him fondly and they shared an eskimo kiss.

"I love you too, Ven."

Vanitas hoped he wouldn't need to think about his dream again. At least for the rest of that night he didn't need to.

* * *

"I will be busy every morning from now on."

Vanitas was doing the dishes when his father came from behind him and said those words. Despite sounding calm he was definitely angrier than he was back on his birthday.

"Yes, sir."

"I'll be working. Every morning, even on weekends. So expect to find me here only after lunch."

"... Will you be eating at work or-"

"I suppose that for someone who doesn't even work making some food shouldn't be a problem, should it?"

Vanitas held back a sigh. That was more like his father than the man who'd wished him a happy day alright. "No. I'll make something good for you to eat."

"Good." He opened the fridge, looking for the thing he liked the most and grumbling when he didn't find any. He turned to Vanitas "I swear I bought more last week."

Unaware he was being stared at, Vanitas continued with the dishes until Xehanort cleared his throat and demanded his attention. The boy looked at him confused until it hit him.

"… You think I-... I don't drink. I only smoke."

"Are you sure?"

Vanitas gulped. Never in his mind would he think of taking his father's drinks again. His first time had also been his last.

"Yes."

Silence. Xehanort didn't look angry just utterly annoyed. Maybe because he would have to wake up earlier to go to work now? Where would he be working anyway? Vanitas decided not to ask. And so Xehanort decided not to say anything else and left the house, probably to buy more of what he wanted.

The teenager sighed loudly this time. He thought about his nightmare again, the sound of the belt striking his back way too recognizable to be ignored. Still, what stuck with him the most was the name he thought of for the plushie. He wasn't sure why he thought of him… Maybe because he was holding Ventus' hand in the dream.

Vanitas finished cleaning and walked to his bedroom, picking the necklace Ventus gave him and wearing it around his neck once more. Happily holding the object, he stared to his Flood and grabbed it, checking just how old it really was.

" … You've been denied a bath for a long time, uh." He turned Flood in his hand, smiling softly "I'm sure Chirithy would be a better companion for you than I am, buddy."

Vanitas left his bedroom and closed the door behind him, leaving the name he had in his mind locked within it. Right now, Flood needed a bath before he could meet Ven.

* * *

On that Thursday, Xion and Ienzo didn't leave the classroom and decided to study together during their break. Sora, Riku and Roxas played volleyball while Ventus and Vanitas were by themselves at their usual spot. Of course they didn't mind being alone and just sat together, holding each other's hand while watching the other students come and go.

Ventus was also wearing his necklace. He held it before his face.

"... Do you think we'll ever start practical classes?"

Vanitas held his own necklace as well, smiling at the tiny guitar "Yeah. I just… Don't know when. We can't expect too much from a public school."

"At this rate we'll have more classes with Demyx that at the actual music school..."

"Probably." Vanitas stared back to the other students again "Guess we'll have to wait and see. Oh!"

"Hm?"

"I gave Flood a bath!" He laughed to himself "I want to show him to you. If you'd like to see him that is."

"Of course! I'd love to! Maybe we could take a picture of him and Chirithy together?"

"You read my mind."

Vanitas reached for Ventus' hand and kissed it gently, closing his eyes and just enjoying the fact that he could do that for now. He liked how Ventus' hand fit in his, he liked being next to him. At least at school it was safe to be together like this.

 _"Of course you're not talking about that blond boy who was with you on that stupid… What's the name? Struggle, is it?"_

But outside of school… He couldn't believe just how naive he had been all this time! He needed a stupid dream to be reminded of just how dangerous it was to hold another boy's hand. Vanitas didn't mind when people stared or said things, he had dealt with that many times before. Even Ventus had to deal with it when Max decided to be a bother, but those people were the least of his problems. His biggest problem lived with him and if he wasn't careful…

Vanitas moved closer to Ventus, their foreheads now touching. He would have to be more careful from now on, but that didn't mean much had changed. He didn't need to freak out. At least that what he told himself.

"Hey!"

They turned their heads at the voice. It was Sora.

"We're at school, guys, come on!"

Ventus laughed, his cheeks now pink "We didn't do anything!"

"But you wanted to!" Sora replied teasingly and Ventus blushed even more.

Aqua's class was perfect for Vanitas to forget a bit about his problems. The woman was in a very good mood that day so after break she just gave them some exercises and let them be, occasionally checking to see how they were doing. Vanitas was just about to start when someone poked his arm.

"Hm?"

"Wanna make these with us?" Ventus asked and pointed not only to himself but also to Roxas. Vanitas raised a brow at the older blond and gave him a half smile.

"Are you sure I won't slow you down this time?"

"That's up to you." Roxas replied with a shrug but smiled back.

They pulled their desks next to Vanitas' and did the exercises together, quick to understand and finish them. Ventus looked from his brother to his boyfriend, giggling to himself remembering their first month together. Vanitas did the same, but for some reason his heart ached when he did.

After the end of their classes the twins and Vanitas walked home together, chatting about school, about how they missed vacation already and just really enjoying their time. Ventus held Vanitas by his arm and, maybe for the first time, Roxas truly didn't mind that.

"Oh, you said you were going to show me Flood?" The younger blond asked, tilting his head in the most adorable way. Vanitas nodded.

"I thought maybe I could bring him here for you… Someday?"

"Hmm… We won't be home today so how about tomorrow? " Ventus suggested.

"Yeah, tomorrow would be nice. We could play some video games too, if you'd like" Roxas said and Vanitas nodded. Sure, why not? It could be fun!

"It's settled then?" Ventus asked eagerly and Vanitas laughed.

"It's settled, yeah. Then you… Uh, then Flood can meet Chirithy." He said with a blush, a little uncomfortable with Roxas hearing him talk about their plushies.

"Okay! We'll be waiting for you!"

With a quick kiss on his cheek Ventus said goodbye and he and Roxas went inside while Vanitas followed his path alone once more, hurrying to get home in time to make his father lunch. As soon as he stepped inside he threw his backpack on the couch and walked to the kitchen, deciding on what to make for him. Thankfully there were leftovers from last night so at least that was out of the way. He made some salad and was almost finished with the fried chicken when he heard the door click open.

Vanitas turned around to look; it wasn't time for his father to arrive yet but there he was. Xehanort sat on the table in deep silence, unmoving.

"Good afternoon" Vanitas greeted him but had no response. Realizing he was probably waiting for his food, Vanitas put the plate before the man and checked on the chicken when a cell phone rang. His father's.

"What do you want?" Xehanort asked to whoever was on the other side "I told you to leave me be."

Vanitas rolled his eyes, glad the man didn't have his attention on him. However, Xehanort only got louder and louder and by the time Vanitas sat down to eat as well he was almost screaming.

"I don't care what you do as long as you- What did you just call me?!"

Vanitas could hear whoever his father was talking to getting louder as well. Xehanort was sweating and Vanitas knew what that meant. Things weren't working the way he wanted them to, whatever those things were, and if he kept on speaking in that tone things could easily get out of hand. Pretending not to care despite feeling uncomfortable, Vanitas left the table and went to the bathroom, decided to wait there until his father was done.

Only he kept on speaking for far longer than Vanitas expected him to! From inside the bathroom he couldn't hear much but he did make out the words 'job', 'money' and 'useless'. Was he talking about the job that was supposed to help them?

When he finally stopped talking Vanitas waited a few more minutes and then went back. He sat down and picked his fork but then, for some reason, he felt compelled to look at his father. Xehanort was looking down to his plate-

Holding the knife he'd been using to eat in his right hand.

Vanitas widened his eyes and froze. He could hear Xehanort forcing himself to steady his breathing and he could see his fingers tightening around the knife. Vanitas held his breath, desperately thinking of what he should do, afraid that staying there or even attempting to stand up would get him into trouble!

"Boy..."

"Y… Yes?"

"Did you get a job?"

"N… Not yet, sir. But I've been looki-"

Xehanort lifted his hand and stabbed the knife against the table! Vanitas stood up, his heart racing and pounding loud in his ears, but before he could even step back his father's voice reached him again.

"Sit. Down."

Vanitas gulped. What would he do if he didn't? Would he come after him? Vanitas hadn't forgotten about the long scar he had on his chest because Xehanort had scarred him with a knife just like the one he was holding now, and that was more than enough to make him turn around and leave but what would happen if he did it? Was it worth the risk?

"Vanitas!"

He sat down, his eyes still on the sharp object, his hands shaking.

"S… Sir?"

"You've been looking. Are these the only words you know?" Xehanort finally looked at him. Vanitas wished he hadn't "Because I sure as hell haven't seen you looking anywhere for some time now!"

"I was... Busy with school-"

"Last month you were on vacation. What's your excuse for that?"

"I don't have an excuse. I did… Try. B-But it's been hard. All I have are those odd jobs I get a-and even then -"

"Are you hiding something from me, son?"

Vanitas froze.

"W… What?"

"Have you really been studying? Trying as you say? Or are you just wasting your time somewhere else? You're not doing drugs, are you?"

"No!" Vanitas felt hurt. Where did that even come from? He was never away from home for long, he never missed a day at school and his father knew he only smoked. So why was he asking that? "I would never-"

Xehanort grabbed him by his shirt "You better pay attention to what I'm going to say, boy! Unlike you, I actually have been trying to find something for both of us! I've been sacrificing my time and my energy to take care of your sorry ass! So you better do something about it as well or else-!"

Vanitas saw his fingers tighten around the knife but was forced to look away from it, forced to face his father's terrifying gaze.

"I..." His voice was much weaker than he expected "I-I will do everything I can, I swear!"

"You better! Because if you don't-!"

Xehanort let him go "I've had enough of you! You either find a way to help me… Or you're out of here! You hear me?"

"Yes, sir!"

"Go to your room!"

"Y-Yes, sir!"

When Vanitas found himself in the safety of his room he locked the door and walked to the bed, but his legs were shaky and he almost fell before he could reach it. His right hand went for his chest and he clutched at the cloth of his shirt, a choked sigh erupting from within him.

His father was holding the knife as he spoke. He was holding the knife even as he grabbed him. He was holding it when he straight up threatened him. Did… Did Xehanort…

Did it even cross Xehanort's mind to get rid of him? For good?!

The ground spun beneath him and he turned around to check if the door was locked. It was locked, he had locked it, but then on that day years ago he also thought it was locked only to find out it wasn't and that had been his worst mistake, the worst thing he could have ever done, to forget the door unlocked, to let that man come in and hurt him-!

His vision blurred. Maybe he had seen and heard things. His father was angry at whoever he was talking to on the phone and Vanitas was afraid so he had seen it wrong. That was the only explanation, it had to be it. It had to be it!

But if that was the case, then why were tears falling from his eyes?

The boy shivered again and again, the feeling never leaving. He couldn't stand, he couldn't speak, he couldn't do anything but stay right where he was and tremble in fear. He wanted to leave the house but he shouldn't disobey his father. He shouldn't disobey him, he told him to go to his room and he had, now he just needed to stay inside until he calmed down but he wouldn't calm down. He couldn't.

Vanitas didn't sleep that night, no matter how much he tried. He was exhausted, panic draining every bit of energy he still had, but he didn't sleep. He held onto the necklace Ventus gave him, held it like his life depended on it, but time seemed to have stopped and nothing he did made that feeling go away. He dreaded the moment Xehanort woke up, he dreaded seeing him in the morning. He needed to get out of there.

He needed help.

* * *

"Vani, what happened?!"

The moment Ventus saw him on the way to school he knew something was wrong. Not only him, Roxas also noticed. Anyone would have noticed.

Ventus told his brother to go without him and sat next to Vanitas, holding him in his arms, shaking just as much as he was.

"... Hey" Vanitas leaned onto Ventus, laying his head on his shoulder with a heavy sigh. He didn't want to worry Ven, he didn't want to worry anyone, but he couldn't simply hide what happened. Not anymore.

"Vani, are you hurt? Did he-"

Ventus touched his cheeks, his eyes searching for any new bruise or wound he could see on his face or on his arm, but Vanitas shook his head.

"He didn't hurt me, Ven. But he's… Strange."

"... Strange? How?"

"Do you know when we went to the mall… On my birthday?"

"Yeah…?"

"He… He actually remembered it. And the way he spoke was… It was soft. He even wished me a happy day and he's…Never done that before. And… And yesterday he… He was talking to someone on the phone and-"

Ventus held his hand; Vanitas was stuttering. Ventus didn't remember the last he did that, not like this.

"... What happened, Vanitas?"

Vanitas frowned, his throat drying up. He had tried to keep that image away from his mind but it was impossible to. But now, looking at Ventus he didn't want to say a thing.

"Ven-"

"Vanitas, please. You have to tell me"

"But-"

Ventus held his hand "It's okay. It's alright. You're safe here."

Vanitas took a deep breath and looked away. He couldn't. "... He was angry. So very angry, Ven. And he… He started… Talking to me and threatening me to get a job or… Or else I'd have to leave the house. A-And I-"

"Vani-"

"I'm scared, Ven."

Tears welled up in his eyes. There it was. He had finally said the words. He had never said it out loud, not even when he was a child, because he had rules to follow and those rules were very clear about what would happen if he was weak. He never said it out loud but now that he had his hands started to shake again and something inside him screamed. It screamed for help.

He broke down.

"I-I'm so scared, V-Ven-!"

Ventus pulled him into his arms again, his own eyes full of tears. He rubbed Vanitas' back, holding him so close so that no one could touch him or do him harm.

"Vanitas…"

"I'm scared. I'm so scared, I'm afraid of what he might do to m-me!"

"You're here now, you're here with me. He can't reach you here."

 _But he will when I go back home!_

This was serious, it had always been, but it had just got worse. All at once memories of the entire year came back to him, mainly Vanitas' scars and his broken nose and Ventus shivered, remembering his dream from months ago.

"Vanitas we have to tell someone! This is serious, we need to talk to an adult!"

"I know, Ven. But I… I-I can't."

"Then let me do it for you." Ventus stroked his cheeks "Please, Van… Let me help! Look, first we tell someone and then you can stay at my house. For as long as you need, you can stay with us, stay with me!"

"I can't. H-He's working in the mornings and asked me to make his l-lunch."

The blond hugged him tighter and tighter. He wished he could take Vanitas' pain away, he wished he could take care of him, but if no one else knew about what was happening there was nothing he could do!

"Listen… I think Terra is at school today. We could try to talk to him." Vanitas looked down and Ventus gently lifted his chin up so he wouldn't look away "I can do it for you if you want. We can go together but I can do the talking, you don't need-"

"I have to do this alone."

"You don't. You really don't have to it alone, Vani. Only if you want to."

"B-But I have to! For… For my own sake, for… For everything he's done to me. I won't forgive myself if I can't even do that!"

"Why should you forgive yourself if you did nothing wrong in the first place? Vanitas, nothing that ever happened was your fault. You didn't ask for this!"

 _Maybe it's what I deserve then?_

"Look, Ven… They're gonna close the gates. You should go."

"I'm not leaving you here alone."

They remained in silence for a few seconds. Vanitas forced himself to stop crying and Ventus stood by him, thinking of how exactly to approach Terra. They couldn't wait any longer. Weekend was about to start and he simply didn't want for Vanitas to be with his father any longer. They had to talk to someone right now!

"... I'm… I'm sorry for..."

Ventus frowned sadly "Van, you don't have to apologize."

"... for crying and… And being like this, for being so fucked up-!"

"Vanitas… Please, don't apologize. It's alright to cry. It's alright to feel scared. But we can't let that continue, you know that. Please, Vani..."

"I… I will talk to him. I will talk to Terra in our break. I… I really don't want him to see me like this, I-"

"Then come with me..." Ventus kissed his hands reassuringly "We'll go to the bathroom, you can wash your face and we'll wait until you're ready to go to class. Then-"

"Then I'll talk to him." Alone.

"... Then you'll talk to him."

Because they were good students, both were allowed to enter despite the gates being locked. Once inside, Vanitas managed to control himself better and went back to his quiet, serious self. Ventus walked with him to the classroom and because Roxas had already told their friends that Vanitas wasn't feeling well his friends didn't ask anything.

Vanitas lay his head on the desk and tried to sleep but it was futile. All he could think about was the knife pointed at him. No matter what happened, he'd have to leave the house sooner or later. Still, he couldn't help but imagine how weird it would be to live alone. Not that he was going to miss that man but he had spent his entire life with him. How would Xehanort react? Would be feel happy for finally being free? Would he get mad, maybe even more than he usually did? He reached for his necklace and held it with one hand for the three next classes.

The moment the bell rang Vanitas shivered, realizing he wasn't ready at all. He stood up, Ventus by his side, and walked to the schoolyard with him, staying a few meters away from the staffroom.

"... What if he doesn't believe me, Ven?"

"He will! I'm certain of that!" Ventus kissed Vanitas' hand "Are you sure you want to go by yourself?"

Vanitas nodded. He took a deep breath and then kissed Ventus' hand back.

"Thank you, Ven. For everything."

He walked towards the staffroom, feeling his heart race again and his will to run away from that place grow stronger with each step. All the teachers were already having their lunch and he stood next to the door, trying to gather what was left of his courage to call for Terra. He looked around for a bit and then took another step forward, staring inside.

"Excuse me-"

He wished Terra wasn't there. It would be the perfect excuse: He couldn't trust anyone else after all so he would have to wait until Monday to say anything! And for that reason, he felt more nervous than relieved when Terra immediately turned around and smiled at him.

"Vanitas. Good morning!"

"Uh… I… " Vanitas looked down. The other teachers were all staring at him "I'd... Can I talk to professor… Terra, if that's not a problem?"

"Of course." The man said just as he was getting himself another cup of coffee. Vanitas forced himself to smile as well but wasn't too happy with just how fast the man approached him. He still wasn't ready. "You like coffee, don't you?"

"Y…Yes. But I'll pass today. Thank you."

Terra frowned slightly and Vanitas looked down to his feet, pressing his lips together. Terra had noticed, hadn't he? Terra had noticed something was amiss or he wouldn't give him that look. His entire life he managed to hide what he was feeling and until now he had succeeded but now he was giving away everything. He had shown his weaknesses and now couldn't control it any longer which was bad and disappointing considering that-

"Vanitas?"

The boy looked up, his endless thoughts silenced. He swallowed dry, anxiety crawling up and down his body, weakening his voice, making his legs want to give in, and he desperately started to make up some story in his head to explain why he was so nervous "Can we… Can we go outside?"

Of course Terra noticed something was wrong. He nodded, understanding Vanitas wanted somewhere quiet to talk, and so he walked with him to the school's entrance, going outside and sitting on the sidewalk just like on the last time.

"Vanitas… Are you alright?"

He couldn't say it. The words were there, he knew exactly what he had to say. but he simply couldn't. He stared at the teacher, then to his own hands, to the street and to his hands again. What was stopping him?

"I… I wanted to ask you for some advices again" He lied, screaming at himself in silence. Coward. Coward!

"Yes…?"

What kind of advice? About what to do when he couldn't speak about it how much he had been hurt in his own home?! About how to react when he was treated like trash?

"I'm… Scared of the next year."

Terra widened his eyes, slightly surprised. "What do you mean?"

"I mean… I-I don't think I'll fail this year again." He let out a cold, desperate laugh "I've been here for three years now but I think I'll finally pass this time."

"Oh… I see. Everything will be new for you, including classes and some teachers as well."

Vanitas turned to him "Will you be teaching us?"

"Oh, yeah. You won't get rid of me until you finish High School." Terra smiled "But, Vanitas… What exactly are you afraid of?"

 _Of what might happen to me when I leave home._

"I don't know. Of everything I guess. I feel… Nervous."

"Every new experience makes us feel nervous. It's the famous fear of the unknown, but we'll always have to deal with it once in a while. It's a good thing however, to sometimes leave our comfort zone. It's when growth happens. You can learn a lot of things in doing so."

"Y-Yeah. I think you're right."

Vanitas looked away. Ventus was waiting for him, thinking he was finally letting someone know about what was happening and he would e so disappointed when Vanitas told him he didn't manage to tell him. Unless he didn't know about it. If he lied to Ventus, the boy would probably believe him. If he lied-

"Professor-"

"Yes?"

"... Professor, there is something that I… That I need to tell you. But I can't. I'm sorry."

"Vanitas…" Terra put a hand on his shoulder "Did something happen?"

Vanitas didn't reply right away. If he said yes Terra would ask about things he didn't want to talk about but if he said no...

"Maybe."

"Did someone hurt you?"

"No." He lied again "I just… I'm don't feel comfortable talking about this. But I need to. I… I really need to tell someone else."

Terra listened. He had been trying to know more about Vanitas for two years now, not only him but also Aqua, but he never expected Vanitas to come to him like this. What exactly had happened that made him want to talk about it?

"Stay calm. I am here with you. No matter what is happening, we will help you."

"I know." _But I don't believe that._

Vanitas opened his mouth to speak but he felt too guilty to say anything. It was one thing to tell that to Ventus but an entirely different thing to tell someone who… Could actually do something about it?

Terra lowered his voice "Vanitas... Do you feel threatened?"

 _Yes._

"Do you think you're in danger?

 _Yes. Yes, oh God, I've always been!_

"No. It's just… Something happened many years ago and… And it's coming back to me. I need… I need to let it go." Which wasn't entirely a lie but he was still hiding things. He was still hiding so many things.

"Are you sure you're not in danger at the moment? Do you feel safe at home?"

"Yes. Everything's fine at home. It's just… This thing that bothers me."

He was speaking much more clearly and calmly now. Thank God he had spoken to Ventus earlier. If he cried right now everything would be lost and he would have to tell him the truth-!

"... But I don't think I can say it. Not… Personally. I-"

"... Would you like my cellphone number? If it's hard for you to say it, you could write it down or call me. At any time, whenever you want and need."

He wasn't a psychologist to do that but apparently he was the only adult Vanitas trusted enough to share something important. He couldn't let that pass, mainly because he didn't know what the boy really needed.

"I… I don't want to bother you, professor."

"You won't. I told you once you could always count on me and I meant it."

"... Thank you."

Terra gave him a sad smile "Why don't you send me a message already? That way I'll have your number saved as well."

"Oh. Oh, uh- My cellphone's in my backpack. I'll send it once I get back to the classroom then?"

Terra nodded and slightly tightened his grip around Vanitas' shoulder.

"Vanitas… Whatever it is that happened, don't be afraid to talk about it. You can tell me anything you want without fear. I'm not here to judge you, I'm here to help you. Don't forget that. Alright?"

The boy smiled softly and Terra smiled back. For a moment, the man thought Vanitas was finally going to tell him what was bothering him. For a moment he felt relieved for the boy and he waited for Vanitas to finally tell him what he had been keeping to himself for so long.

"... Thank you."

He didn't.


	43. Chapter 43

"I couldn't tell him."

The moment Ventus lay his eyes on Vanitas again he knew he hadn't told Terra. He knew it because of how sad Vanitas looked but also because he avoided his gaze, ashamed.

"Vani…"

"I couldn't tell him." He repeated and only then did reality sink in. He didn't simply refuse to tell him, he also felt relieved when Terra didn't force him to speak. Now that he was away from him however he realized what he had done. "And I don't want to."

"Vani, listen-"

"No, Ven. I can't do it, I tried, but I just can't. And I-I don't want you to either!"

Ventus reached for Vanitas' hand just as the bell rang signaling the end of their break. The boy looked down, stroking the raven's fingers gently.

"V-Vani, I don't want you to go h-home without letting at least someone know."

"I… Terra gave me his cell phone number." He said, as if that piece of information could make him feel like he hadn't just messed up his only chance at getting help. "So I can… Call him later."

He stared at Ventus with an apologizing look and he wouldn't be exaggerating if he said he was about to burst into tears again. Ventus looked around.

"Want to go to the bathroom?" He asked with a gentle voice.

"... Yes, please."

The other students were already going back to their respective classes when they went to the bathroom. Vanitas washed his face a few times, breathing in and out to calm himself down while Ventus waited, his arms crossed over his chest.

"... Van-."

"I'm sorry, Ven."

"Don't be. But-"

"Please, don't tell anyone."

Ventus bit his lips, holding back an exasperated sigh. He had to.

"Vani, this is for your safety."

"I know. But… Please, let me try to talk to Terra again. I'll send him a message, we'll work something out."

"Why do you insist in doing this? It's… It's okay if you can't tell him, I know It's hard for you but… Why won't you let me do it?"

Vanitas stared down at the sink, then to his reflection on the mirror. To his tired, yellow eyes.

"... I just don't want you to. This is-"

"I know you think it's your responsibility to do this and I know I can't change these thoughts, but… Like, right now you can go to the class and I'll talk to him instead. You don't even have to be there!"

"No, Ven, I have to be there. I've held this for too long. It's the least I can do for myself."

"But what if you can't? What if you can't do it, what if you need help? This can't go on, Vanitas!"

"You think I don't know that? Ventus, I've been there. I've tried! But nothing will ever make this easier for me!"

"It's not easy for me either!" Ventus exclaimed and Vanitas turned away from the mirror, staring at him. "Y-You… Do you… God, Vanitas, how can you expect me to stay calm at a time like this? How do you expect me to be alright after hiding this secret for all this time? Afraid that you'll get hurt? Afraid of what might happen to you?!"

"I don't! I don't expect you… To… To stay calm, I..."

Vanitas looked down and once again back to the sink, leaning on it. He closed his eyes and tears streamed down his face. "V-Ven, I-I don't expect you to do anything at a-all..."

Guilt tore Ventus inside out. He had made Vanitas cry. Despite always saying he'd be there for him, that he wouldn't judge him, he was to blame for those tears that now fell. That wasn't about him, it shouldn't be about him. Vanitas had kept said secret for years, for his entire life, and yet he was complaining because it was hard for him to do it?

"V… Vanitas… Vani, I'm sorry." He walked to his side and could almost see Vanitas turning away from him, avoiding him but he didn't even flinch. "I'm so sorry. I… I didn't mean to… T-To hurt you, Vani, I-"

"It's okay. It's alright, Ven." Vanitas looked up and reached for his face, gently running his thumb over the blond's cheeks. "I… I should be the one apologizing. I'm sorry I've put you through this."

"No. No, you don't have to apologize at all!" Ventus teared up and held Vanitas' hand against his face, making sure he wouldn't let go.

"Yes, I do. I… I always feared all of this would affect you, as I knew it would. It's… It's not fair. I know what it's like to hide something this important… But that's why I'm the one who has to do it, Ven. I've kept this hidden for too long."

"Vanitas..."

"Please… P-Please, let me try just one more time. I… If even then I can't tell him what's going on, if even then I can't say a word, then… Then please, don't even wait before telling someone."

Ventus looked down, still thinking about what he had just said. Wondering about how many times Vanitas had been put against the wall like that and how many times he went on without saying a word.

"Alright… Okay, I… I will let you talk to him first. But when are you going to do it?"

"I'll… I'll try tonight. If I can't then tomorrow morning. And if I can't, then I'll let you know."

"... You promise?"

Vanitas smiled at him and Ventus felt his heart sink again. He knew Vanitas was once again putting on his brave face because he was more worried for Ventus' well being than his own and that made him regret saying those words even more.

"I promise."

Roxas didn't ask any questions when they walked home that day despite the uncomfortable silence between them. He knew his brother and Vanitas hadn't had a fight, mainly because they held hands all the way and walked slightly closer than usual, but he didn't know just how tense and afraid the two of them were. And he wouldn't know, not until the next day when Ventus would finally be able to tell him.

He invited Vanitas to spend the afternoon with them, but as Ventus knew it would happen he denied. He had to make his father's lunch after all. That didn't stop Ventus from asking him to stay just a few more minutes however and he agreed before sitting next to him.

"Are you going to the Music School tomorrow?" Ventus asked, trying not to sound as anxious as he was.

"I'm not sure." Vanitas looked down to his necklace. "I'll probably stay home and sleep for a while. I could use some rest."

Ventus nodded. Memories from the day Vanitas had his nose broken flooded his mind again and he pressed his lips together.

"... You said your father won't be home in the morning?"

"That's right. It's been a week now… He says he's working but I'm not sure I believe it. He's probably looking for a job instead."

"I bet you enjoy all the peace and quiet."

"I do. And since I'll be alone at home, I'll… Try to talk to Terra then."

Ventus really didn't want him to leave. Yet, that glimmer in Vanitas' eyes actually made him feel proud of him before guilt came rushing back again.

"... I better go now."

"Vanitas, wait." Ventus held him by his arm so he wouldn't try to get up just yet. "I was thinking and… Since Terra gave you his number, why don't you give it to me as well?"

"... Why?"

"Because if… If you ask me to tell him, then I can do it tomorrow. Instead of… Waiting until Monday. What do you think?"

Vanitas looked away. That was reasonable, considering he did ask Ventus to help him in case he couldn't do it. After a few seconds of debating whether that had been a good idea, he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and checked the number for his newly added contact: _Professor Terra_. He watched Ventus adding his number in silence, a million thoughts in his head.

"Here." The blond smiled at him. "Thank you, Vani."

Vanitas stood up and Ventus followed. Both of them stared to the street, into the distance where Vanitas would be going to. He turned to Ventus, about to tell him goodbye, when he was pulled into a kiss. Not a kiss like Ventus used to give him; it was a desperate one. A kiss that screamed _Please, don't leave me_ despite knowing that no matter how much he asked that wouldn't happen.

When they pulled away, Vanitas kissed his forehead reassuringly. "Don't worry. I'll go straight to my room, sleep and then tomorrow morning I'll be alone. I'll be alright, Ven."

Ventus nodded and hugged him tight, afraid of letting him go. Keeping him there for longer however would only bring him more problems and he knew that.

"... Please, send me a message when you get home?"

Vanitas kissed him one more time, tasting his sweet, soft lips. He thought of the first day their lips met, thought of the first day Ventus said he loved him. He couldn't and wouldn't blame Ventus being so worried. Besides, he couldn't help feeling happy knowing Ventus cared this much about him. To know someone truly loved him and wanted him to be safe.

"I will."

* * *

Neither Vanitas nor Ventus slept well that night.

As soon as he arrived home, he sent Ventus a message letting him know and took a quick shower before jumping on his bed and just laying there, staring to the ceiling. Xehanort didn't bother him in the slightest, but that wasn't enough for Vanitas to relax of course. He felt tense and when he heard his father's footsteps outside of his room he was certain that he would come into his room.

Ventus talked to him throughout the night. The blond didn't sleep much either, constantly waking up covered in sweat and wondering if Vanitas was okay, watching the minutes go by anxiously until Vanitas replied to him. It was around 3 AM when both of then fell into a deep slumber.

In the next morning, when Vanitas woke up the first thing he did was to check the time. It was already 9 AM, which was odd since he usually woke up very early no matter how late he slept. Still, he didn't complain. Taking a few deep breaths, reminding himself that Xehanort wasn't home, he stood up and went to the kitchen to make his coffee while checking for any new messages. As he expected, Ventus has sent him a few.

 **Ventus**

 _Good morning, Vani! - 8:01_

 _I wanted to go to the music school but I really don't feel like going today - 8:01_

 _How are you? Did you sleep well? - 8:02_

 _Please let me know when you wake up, 'kay? - 8:02_

 _I love you 3 - 8:02_

Vanitas let Ventus know he was awake and smiled to his device. Just as he was starting to relax however something told him to go and make sure his father wasn't around. Vanitas trusted his guts, so he got up and went to his father's bedroom. The door was open but he wasn't there. He checked the rest of the house and then walked to the living room to find the front door locked. Thankfully.

He scratched his head and then went back to make his coffee when he decided to take a shower. Before he headed for the bathroom however there was something he needed to do. Maybe because he wasn't seeing him or because he was by himself now, it did feel easier to write down what he wanted to say. He thanked Terra in silence and sent the messages.

 _Good morning, professor - 9:25_

 _Do you think we could talk a little bit? - 9:25_

 _If you're not busy, of course! - 9:25_

Leaving the device on the table Vanitas then went for his shower. Lost in thoughts and in the sensation of the water running down his skin, he allowed himself to relax for a while and spent ten minutes under the water, just waiting for his nervousness from last night to go down the drain. Once he left the bathroom he got his necklace, put on a soft clothing and returned to the kitchen where he got himself some bread to eat and a cup of coffee.

A few minutes later he checked his cell phone again and although Terra still hadn't answered Ventus had called him. He returned the call, yawning just as the blond picked it up.

"Good morning."

"Good morning, Vani! Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah. Well, kind of. You?"

"Kind of." Ventus laughed. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, nothing special. Just having breakfast. What about you?"

"I'm trying to get out of bed… I feel so tired and sleepy though."

Vanitas chuckled. "Why don't you sleep more? It's Saturday after all."

"Ha, I probably will!"

Vanitas took another sip of his coffee and looked up to the curtains of the kitchen, still hiding the window behind them. "Hey, Ventus."

"Yeah?"

"I… You know, I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me today? We could go to the mall or just take a stroll around town. Have something to eat, you know…"

"Of course! You mean after lunch?"

"Yeah, that'd be good. I'll clean the house, make lunch for my father and… And then I'll be free."

"... Did you talk to Terra?"

"I sent him a message but didn't get a reply. He's probably still sleeping."

"I see… Well, I'm still happy you sent him the message! Just… Let me know about it, okay?"

"Will do. So I'll see you in the afternoon?"

"Yeah! I can't wait to see you!"

Vanitas smiled softly. Once he had his own house, he'd call Ventus to spend the night with him. That way they could be together, just the two of them, and spend as much time with each other as they wanted to. He closed his eyes for a moment.

"I love you, Ven. So much."

"I love you too, Vani. So so much! I'll see you later, then?"

"I'll see you later. Have a nice nap."

Ventus laughed. "Thanks! Take care, okay?"

"I will."

Vanitas hung up still smiling at his cell phone, at Ventus' profile picture. Before he could think more about him however a new message popped on his screen.

 **Professor Terra**

 _Good morning, Vanitas - 9:38_

 _Of course! How can I help you? - 9:38_

Vanitas held his breath for a few seconds, unsure of what to say or how to start. He wrote and erased his message a few times before finally sending it and putting his device back on the table.

 _It's about my father - 9:41_

It was then that he heard movement in the living room. Then a low, cold laughter.

He wasn't alone.

"Do you always take this long to shower when I'm not home?"

Xehanort stood up from the couch and Vanitas froze, widening his eyes and staring to the back of the man. There was an empty beer bottle in his hand and yet he didn't sound drunk. What was he doing there?!

The man laughed once again but this time he didn't seem to be interested in how much water Vanitas wasted, no. He turned around, clearly sleep deprived by how deep the bags under his eyes were, and he fixated said eyes on the teenager.

"You've got to be kidding me." He started and took a step forward, his voice extremely low "No, no, no, you've got to be kidding me..."

Vanitas went pale. Had his father arrived when he was in the shower? Why did he just lay there on the couch instead of going to his room? Shouldn't he be working? Just how much had he heard?! Had he realized what Vanitas was planning to do, planning to tell someone, had he heard-

"You have… Once second… To explain me all of this."

Vanitas stood up and stepped back.

"Dad-"

"I do… I do and I always did everything for you and **that's** how you repay me?!"

Vanitas stopped with his back on the sink, now just a few steps away from the man. Xehanort closed his hands closed into fists and Vanitas, Vanitas didn't even know what to say or what to do. It was obvious, it was obvious he imagined what Vanitas wanted to tell his teacher, it was obvious that-

"I… I-I didn't know you were ho-" He began but Xehanort wouldn't care about anything he said from now on. The man put his bottle on the table and stared back at him.

"Ventus? That blond boy?!" Xehanort took a deep breath and laughed in denial, refusing to believe that was real despite the proof he now had. "You… Are you **dating another** **man?!** "

Vanitas lost his breath, shock hitting him at once. The reason why Xehanort was staring at him like that wasn't because he was going to tell something to another adult about him, it wasn't because of any suspicions he had. It was because he had said _I love you_ to another boy.

"… I- "

" **Don't you open that fucking mouth of yours if you won't answer me! Are you dating another man?!** "

His heart was racing now, pounding against his chest and Vanitas tried to calm his breathing down but he couldn't anymore. He couldn't even speak properly and he started shaking with fear because he had seen that look before, he had seen that hatred before and he felt just as terrified as he did on that day!

"D… D-Dad- !"

Xehanort went for his son and only then Vanitas reacted. He put his arms before his body when the man tried to hit him but even then he couldn't hold him back. He felt Xehanort's fists strike against his jaw and didn't have time to do anything because he was hit again. And again. And again.

" **I didn't raise you all those years so you'd become a faggot, you shit! You thought you could hide that from me?! How long have you being doing this, you filthy-!** "

Vanitas stumbled with the last blow, leaning on the table so he could stand, and closed his eyes trying to understand what was happening. He took a step to his side without letting go and didn't know what to do when his father stood in front of him, staring at him.

"D… D-Dad-"

Xehanort grabbed him by his shoulder and slapped his face, deepening his fingers onto his skin. "Answer me, boy. Answer me, answer me if you're a **man**!"

Vanitas looked at him trying to stay still but the look Xehanort gave him wasn't just an angry one, it was a look of disgust and disdain. Xehanort shook him with force and with one held him by his hair, pulling it back. Vanitas was so dizzy and confused that all he could do was to look at him for a few seconds before he managed to speak.

What he saw in his father's eyes…

He had never felt so scared in his whole life.

"I… W-Why are you doing this?"

"Are you really questioning me?"

"W-... W-What are you doing?"

" **Answer me!** "

 _No complaining, no fighting back, no questioning and no crying. And no matter what happens, no screaming._

"How could you do this to me? To your own father?! Don't you ever get tired of shaming me, Vanitas?! Do you really feel the need to go out there and get fucked by other boys instead of just being a normal person?! Really, Vanitas?"

Xehanort pushed him, almost making him fall. Vanitas ran his fingers on his mouth, the well known taste of blood on his tongue, and looked back to his father.

He was unrecognizable. Despite everything he had done, despite every scar he had given him, he didn't look like himself now. He looked like a monster and the way his eyes glimmered with rage made him shiver with fear! Vanitas could run, he could call for help, he could scream, he could do something!

But the rules that had also been given to him since he was a young boy scarred his skin and spoke louder in his mind.

"Stop..."

Xehanort stared at him, breathing fast and nervously. Vanitas stared back.

"Say whatever you want about me, but don't you dare speak ill of Ven! You don't even know him!"

"I don't even-?" Xehanort laughed out loud "I'll never want to meet this… This thing you're walking with!"

"He's not a thing!" Vanitas exclaimed, gritting his teeth. "You don't understand, you'll never underst-"

Vanitas' words were lost when Xehanort grabbed him by his shirt, pulling him closer and staring deep into his eyes.

" .Mouth."

"Let go of me!"

"Vanitas-"

" **Let me go!** "

Vanitas grabbed his father's hand and tried to push him away. Surprised, Xehanort let go of the boy and Vanitas, in an instinctive reaction, tried to hit him back.

And he hit him.

But he wished he hadn't.

Xehanort glared at him, taken aback by the punch on his face. He felt hurt, hurt not because he once cared for the boy but due to the realization that he had attacked him. That brat had deliberately attacked him!

That-

"I'm going to **kill you!"**

Vanitas tried to walk away but he too was surprised for having reacted and didn't move, giving his father the chance he needed to attack him again. Xehanort punched his face, stronger than before, and continued to do so until Vanitas was spitting blood and having to lean on the wall not to fall.

"Of course I don't understand! What is there to understand in that?! Are you out of your mind, boy?!"

"I-I did nothing wrong-" Vanitas said while trying to catch his breath. His legs were wobbly and he kept his eyes closed while breathing with his mouth open. "Y… Y-You have no r-right to-"

" **I told you to shut up!** " Xehanort screamed and, taken over by all the rage and hatred he felt, he picked the empty bottle from the table and broke it against the boy's head!

As if something exploded in his head Vanitas heard a loud ringing in his ears! Dizzy, the ground spinning under his feet, he fell on his knees with his vision blurring. He closed his eyes tight, an unpleasant and constant buzzing in his head while his senses tried to adjust without succeeding.

Above him, Xehanort was still screaming but Vanitas only understood half of the words. He didn't manage to focus. He felt his chest ache and closed his fingers over it, his heart beating too fast and echoing in his ears. Was that really happening? He… He was really-

Vanitas was pulled by his hair again, forced to stare up at the man who looked at him as if he was some sort of abomination.

"After all these years… All these years, boy, and you didn't do anything! Is that why you never got a job? You were too busy wasting your life with other people like you to care enough?! Smearing our family's name?"

"I-It hurts-"

"It hurts!" Xehanort repeated in a mocking tone and let go of him only to knell by his side and hold him by his chin, forcing Vanitas to stare at him before he held the boy's necklace. "Look at me!"

"L… L-let go-"

"You're never talking to that boy again… Or you'll suffer the consequences, **do you hear me?** "

"Let go of my necklac- Ugh!"

Xehanort stood up and pulled the object by force, snapping it and hurting Vanitas' neck as he did. Desperate, Vanitas tried to stop his father and take the object back but before he could he was kicked on his waist and groaned in pain.

"What is this crap? You complain about helping me but you keep spending money with shit like this?!"

"N-No-... Give it back! It's mine!"

Xehanort threw the necklace on the ground "Trash belongs in the trash. Just like you! I should have done the same as your mother did and left you behind because all you ever did was to fuck up with my life!"

"V-Ven gave it to me… Please, it's important for me, please g-give it b-back!"

" _Ven_? Your… Boyfriend? Disgusting!"

Vanitas looked away when Xehanort stepped on the necklace once, twice, many times until it was finally broken beyond repair and he hated himself for being unable doing anything. His father wasn't only hurting him, he was hurting Ventus as well, but he still couldn't fight back.

"No wonder your mother never wanted you. She knew, she knew what you would become! But I was a fool, I felt pity and look at what happened!"

Vanitas felt a lump in his throat, looking at the adult as he tried to stand up.

"W-What difference does it make… I-If I'm dating a boy? D-Dad, you never c-cared about me! What difference does it make?!"

"Ungrateful! Ungrateful, that's what you are! I had no obligation of raising you but I still did. You should thank me! But you're a wimp! A disgrace! Such a man you are!"

"M-man?" Vanitas laughed nervously "Dad, you… Y-You have no idea what it means to be a man!"

Xehanort walked closer to him and Vanitas backed away, tears gathering in his eyes.

"A man… D-Doesn't do to his son half of what you've done to me! A man doesn't treat a c-child like a toy, doesn't hit a little boy because he broke a cup, a man doesn't h-hit their own son until he's bleeding and asking him to stop-!"

Vanitas didn't take his eyes off him. He was scared, he was so scared. but the least he could do was to keep what was left of his dignity. What he still had left to fight.

But it wasn't enough. It had never been and it never would be.

Xehanort interrupted him.

"Are you questioning me, boy?"

 _No complaining, no fighting back, no questioning and no crying. And no matter what happens, no screaming._

" **Are you questioning me, boy?** "

"... I-"

Xehanort held him by his neck and pushed him against the wall again, hitting him against it while closing his fingers around his skin unaware of his son's gasps for air. Vanitas tried to hold him, tried to stop him, but in just a few seconds he was suffocating. He was taken over by dread as he stared to his father's yellow eyes, yellow like his own, but his own were covered with tears while Xehanort's were covered with hatred. Just as he was about to lose consciousness Vanitas was thrown against the floor, coughing and trying to recover in time to get out of there but Xehanort kicked him in the stomach and he fell down, closing his eyes tight.

"W… W-Why are you d-doing th-"

 _No complaining, no fighting back, no questioning and no crying. No matter what happens, no screaming._

"You'll… Learn not to… Question or… Disobey me again!"

Xehanort couldn't stop himself. He continued, he continued to scream, to shout, to call his son names, to hurt him. Taking out his own frustration over him. Hating him because he wasn't like he wanted him to be, hating him for being his son. Hating him for existing. Vanitas put his hand in front of him in an attempt to defend himself but he was breathless and Xehanort wasn't holding back. He really wanted to hurt him. He really wanted to hurt him, to make him suffer for all the trouble he had given him. To make him pay for being useless, for being such a terrible son!

To make him pay because he loved another boy.

Vanitas gasped, coughing and spitting the blood that covered his tongue and teeth, his nails scratching on the floor as he tried to recover, as he tried to flee!

"D… D-a… Aagh **-"**

"What did you say?!"

"D… D-Dad, p-please-"

"You're responsible for this, not me! It's your fault you didn't graduate yet, your fault you can't keep a job! It's your fault if you're worthless, not mine, it's yours! But who do they blame when they see you fail again and again? Who do they blame?! **They blame** **me not you!** "

Xehanort stopped kicking the boy for one second, giving him just enough time to whimper and apologize before he did it again. Vanitas choked, writhing in pain, unable to hold back the tears now. He was scared, he was so scared-

"You know that, don't you?! You know you're the one who let all of this happen, don't you? It didn't have to be this way, Vanitas, **look at what you've done!"**

"I… I-I… Ugh-" Vanitas hugged himself, staring into nothingness, trying to avoid his father hopelessly. "I-... I-I'm so… Sorry-"

Xehanort took another step closer to him and Vanitas recoiled even more, closing his eyes.

"I-I'm sorry…! I-I'm so… sor-.. ry-! P-Please, d-don't hurt me a-anymore…! P-Plea-ase..!"

"Don't hurt me anymore. **Coward**!

He attacked him again.

"You never changed, did you?! And you never will! You'll be alone, your little friend will leave you in the end and then you'll come running back to me!"

He kicked him again and Vanitas lost whatever breath he still had left.

 _No complaining, no fighting back, no questioning and no crying. No screaming._

"You'll come back apologizing again. And after everything I've done for you, you'll look down on me again! Because you're useless! Because you're ungrateful!"

 _No complaining. No fighting back._

 _No questioning. No crying._

 _No screaming._

"I'd be much better off without you! Why don't you just leave while you can, Vanitas?! **Why don't you just die?!** "

 _No complaining. No fighting back._

 _No questioning. No crying._

A loud and terrible cracking sound was heard when Xehanort kicked his ribs.

 _No screaming._

And Vanitas screamed.

" **AHHHHH-** "

He moved a hand to touch at his broken rib, desperately trying to reach it, to ease the pain, to do something, to make it stop! Only then Xehanort snapped out of it and he froze, staring in shock to his own son, the boy shaking and drooling in agony, trying to hold onto something or someone who wasn't there, his face covered in sweat, cuts and blood.

 **"I- I'm s-sorry-… Aahhh- I a-am s-s-sor- r-ry- AaaaAAhh-"**

"V… Vanitas…"

" **D-d-d-d-ad, I'm s-so s-s-sor… ry...** " Vanitas choked in his tears and his voice grew weaker. His body couldn't take it anymore. His mind had already collapsed. He was fading. ""D… D-d… D-Da-a-ad-"

For agonizing and excruciating seconds, all Vanitas did was to apologize because he couldn't ask for help. While one hand held tight to his own body trying to lessen the pain he felt, the other lay next to him, his fingers twitching. He didn't think about anyone, only about the pain, only in how he wanted it to stop!

"D- …. D-Dad…. D-... Da...d…"

The man kneeled next to him seeing just how much he'd hurt him. He noticed the blood running down his mouth and nose, bruises already forming on his face and on his neck. Vanitas was crying and soon his words were overwhelmed by his sobs, becoming indiscernible and almost inaudible.

Xehanort hesitated but touched his face, feeling just how trembly he was. However, Vanitas didn't react to his touch and only stared forward as he shivered and muttered apologies over and over. Lost and no longer aware of where he was, the boy coughed a few more times before his words turned into mere sobs and his sobs turned into whimpers. His whimpers soon died and after what felt like an eternity of pain, guilty, and fear Vanitas closed his eyes, a few last tears falling down until he finally stopped moving.

A morbid silence took over the house. Xehanort was barely breathing but he continued to look at the boy and carefully moved his hand to his neck, laying his fingers over his veins and waiting.

He closed his eyes and sat next to his son, rubbing his face with both hands. The silence crushed him and probably for the first time in his life Xehanort wished Vanitas would open his mouth to say something. Anything.

"My God..."

He looked at the boy once again.

"What have I done?"


	44. Chapter 44

**Author's note: After months, chapter 44 is finally here! TvT**

 **First of all: Pretty much every trigger warning this fic has was put in there because of this chapter in particular. Please check them out again! There are a lot of separation marks throughout the chapter so, if a part feels too overwhelming for you, you can always skip it and go to the next one.**

 **Second: Thank you so SO much for all of you who haven't given up on this fic. I've received so many nice comments here and in social media of readers who were waiting for this and, honestly, they all made my day! To those of you who have read or reread it, who have left comments and/or kudos, or just enjoyed coming here to read without saying anything: I couldn't feel happier for having your support! Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for still being here.**

 **I am so so sorry for taking this long to update.**

 **I've been writing Fledgling Emotions for three years now (I wrote it in Portuguese for an entire year before I even started to post). After posting the latest chapter I got busy with other stuff but, also, I felt like I needed to take a break from this fic. I found myself in a really dark place in these last months and I'm busier now than I've been before (Which sadly means the next chapter might take a while to be posted as well :( Not as much as this one though, promise!). Another reason why I took so long is that I've written it all in Portuguese first and then translated it. This is the longest chapter of the fic and since I do it all by myself and because I haven't had too much free time I couldn't focus entirely on it. To top it all, writer's block. Basically, everything's been a mess but I'm happy (And honestly relieved) for finally updating it after all these months.**

 **Once again, thank you to everyone who's still around! I really hope the wait was worth it and that you enjoy this chapter! I love you all 3**

* * *

"It's alright… It's alright now…"

He gently held him in his arms.

"You know this didn't have to happen… I didn't want for this to happen, it didn't have to come to this. But... You left me with no choice..."

The curtains in the kitchen completely covered the windows. No one would have been able to see him carrying the boy. No one would have been able to see the blood on the floor.

"Dad was only teaching you how to behave. Like any father would. Because… Dad worries about you. But it's alright now. Everything's alright."

He lay the boy down on his bed, pulling the blanket over his wounded body, ignoring that the bed sheet would soon be dirty with saliva and blood. His fingers gently touched and caressed his son's face.

"Dad won't hurt you anymore."

* * *

Xehanort had grown to become an intelligent and successful man. His adult life didn't prove to be a challenge for him; he had a good job, a good house and all the comfort a single adult could wish for, the best life a 40-year-old man could have.

The clock struck 2 in the morning. The baby was crying again.

He turned over in bed, covering his head with his pillow for a second, trying to go back to sleep. Next to him, the woman snored loud, not even slightly bothered by the screams that came from the other room.

Before he met her, that bed was only his. The bedroom had plenty of space for his own things, which weren't many but enough for his needs. The other room, smaller but with as much space as the first one, used to be his office where he'd work during the night and where he kept all of his paperwork. Most importantly, he had silence.

Now his bedroom belonged to him and to the woman who had practically settled in by force, using everything she could to make him accept her. His former office had been reduced to a room full of toys which the damn child didn't even know how to play with, his own money used to buy all that trash. Not to mention the extra food he had to buy, the extra bills and all the new expenses that weren't his but that he still had to pay for.

It should've been just one night. Just one night, nothing more. But then the woman came back, telling him she was pregnant and his world fell apart.

The baby was still crying. It would be useless to try to wake the woman up; every single time he had tried had been enough for him to know that. He pushed his pillow away and got up, groaning as he walked to his former office.

Xehanort shook his head and entered the room. He approached the baby crib and stopped next to it, glaring at the 3 months old baby who screamed and flailed his arms. His hair was growing fast, its color the same as his mother's. Actually, everything in him came from his mother, except for one thing. Baby Vanitas opened his eyes when he realized someone was there, looking up at the man with big teary yellow eyes.

"What do you want?"

He covered the baby with a small blue blanket but he continued to cry. It hadn't been long since he had been fed, he couldn't be hungry already! Xehanort touched his forehead; he didn't seem to have a fever either. By pure obligation but with clear disgust, the man held the child in his arms and lay him against his shoulder, moving his hand up and down his back.

There was nothing more he could do but hold him and calm him down, he thought. Even if that was his mother's job and not his, but now he was already awake and walking around the house, still rubbing the boy's back, hoping he would fall asleep soon. Long minutes went by before Vanitas grew tired of crying and lay his small head over his father's shoulder, his tiny fingers holding the man's t-shirt.

At that moment, Xehanort held him tight. He stood still for a few seconds making sure the kid was no longer awake and looked down at him. He wondered if one day he'd be able to feel something when holding him like this. To understand what people meant by the emotion of being a father. While waiting to see if Vanitas was actually asleep, he tried to feel it, tried to think of the meaning of said words.

He felt nothing. And so, as soon as he thought he could return the boy to his crib without waking him up, he did and went back to bed.

* * *

It had been a week since Vanitas turned 10 months old. It had been ten minutes since he had said his first word: Mommy.

"You don't look too happy about it." Xehanort said, giving a cynical smile to the woman who watched her son play on the floor, biting one of his rubber toys and showing it to the father who didn't look at him.

"Very funny, Xehanort."

She was very different from when they first met. All the shine in her eyes that had attracted him was gone. She was tired, irritated and clearly regretful of her carelessness. Regretful, just like him.

"Well, what can I say? I imagined you would have left by now."

"Left?" She glared at him. "And how exactly did you expect me to do that? You know very well I have no conditions to keep this child alone. Nor where to go to!"

 _And why should I care?_ He thought of saying but contained himself. Neither of them wanted to throw in the towel; both were too proud to admit their faults.

"I know that. That's why I let you stay here. But I was hoping you'd act like the adult you are and deal with your responsibilities-"

"He's not just my responsibility, Xehanort. He's your son too! You can't change that!"

"Oh, I can..."

"Was that a threat?"

He grumbled out loud. Vanitas followed him with his eyes before crawling to him and playing with his shoes, babbling happily, one of his toys still in his hands. An ironic smile curved the man's lips.

"You can pretend you're satisfied with this as much as you want. We both know you're not."

"And what do you want me to do? To leave the boy to your care? You can't even take care of yourself!"

Xehanort laughed, a low and unpleasant laugh. He hated the child. Maybe for what he represented, the end of a calm and peaceful living he had fought for during his entire life, a fruition of a mistake of his. He could've said no to the woman, could've let her and the child rot away from him! But he wouldn't do that, no. He had a reputation to honor, a reputation he had built for himself through many many years.

Realizing his dad would not give him attention, the baby turned to his mother, smiling as he shook the toy and threw it for her to catch

"I could take care of myself very well before this thing was born."

The woman glared at Xehanort and got up, grumbling something he didn't understand and going to another room. Vanitas watched her move for a moment, then crawled to the toy and picked it back to play alone.

* * *

He learned to walk just after he turned one year old. Since he spoke for the first time, Vanitas had learned many other words. He was an attentive and smart child and learned by listening to people through the window, watching programs on TV and even seeing his parents talk. And they talked a lot, just never with him.

Their conversations were generally just between the two of them. Even his mom, with who he spent most of his time, seemed less and less interested in playing with him but he was still too young to understand why and incessantly asked for her attention.

"What is it?" Xehanort asked whenever he called him or tugged at his shirt. Then Vanitas would show him a toy, sometimes one of his little plastic toys or one of the plushes he liked. "Go bother someone else, will you?"

And he did.

Every time, with staggering steps. Vanitas walked to his mother inviting her once again. Showed her his toys, talked to her and waited. Sometimes, she gave in. Rarely, she smiled. Most of the time, she refused to acknowledge he was there and ignored him.

'Later'. 'I'll play with you tomorrow'. 'I am tired today'. Vanitas didn't understand why she never had time for him, he didn't know how to deal with it all the time and he cried, which ended up with mommy screaming at him, daddy screaming at mommy and finally with him in his bedroom, grounded for being so loud.

Despite all the stress he lived under, however, Vanitas was a calm child. For the next years, even in a noisy environment, even without having the affection he wanted from his parents, he became affectionate. Even if he barely left the house, because his parents never let him, he liked to see different people and talk to them. His favorite pastime was to stay by the living room's window and watch people leave and return to their houses, a time when he could say 'Hi' to them and get smiles from afar.

But no one ever came to visit him. Even two years later, no one ever came to play with him. And Vanitas, in his innocence, still didn't know why.

"Mommy, why don't I have friends?"

"I'm busy right now, Vanitas."

"But-"

"I'm busy!'

"... Okay." Vanitas lowered his head. That was yet another day when she didn't have time for him. She never had time for him. Neither she nor his father.

But the people on the street were always there for him! And so he would always go back to the living room, observing everything from the sofa. One of the things he liked the most was to watch other kids coming back from school, chatting, laughing, smiling. It looked so interesting to him. It looked fun!

"Mom, when can I go to school? … Mom?"

The sound of voices caught his attention again. He turned around to look out of the window once more and saw three little girls laughing out loud, showing something to each other. He squinted his eyes, trying to see what it was, and gasped!

Each one of them had a different plush! One had a mouse with red clothes and really big ears. The other had what looked like a dog with cute tiny ears, its body of the color blue and pink. But what really caught his attention was the third one he saw, one with a triangular head, red eyes, and blue body!

Vanitas had never seen that one before! He wanted to see them up close, but he couldn't leave home. Maybe if his mother asked the girls to show them to him they would let him hold them for a bit?

"Mom! Mommy!"

He looked back to the children; they were quickly moving out of sight!

"Mom! Come here!"

"What is it, boy?"

"It's really quick, please, come here!"

"I'm coming!"

He jumped out of the sofa in a hurry, looking for his mother in the house and found her on her bed playing on her phone. Vanitas ran to her, held her by her arm and pointed to the living room.

"There's a cute plushie outside, I want to see it, can you ask for me?"

"What are you talking about?" She pulled her arm free from him.

"I wanna hold it! Pretty please?"

The woman rolled her eyes, turning her attention back to the phone. "I'll check it later. I'm working right now."

"But-"

"No buts!"

Vanitas sighed and turned his back to his mother, running back to the living room. Maybe if he asked them with respect ( _Dad always says we must be polite!_ ) the girls would let him see it!

"He's my friend! Isn't he cute?" He heard one of the girls say and moved as close as he could to the window. A friend? Plushies could be friends?

To his despair however only seconds later and the girls had left. He saw other people, other children, and adults but none had toys like those. Or like the blue one. His eyes filled with tears and he leaned his face on his hands, the hope of seeing those girls again weaker with each second and he stood there for a few more minutes, hoping that they would come back, but it didn't take long for him to know he would never see them again. He started to cry.

"What now?" His mother screamed from her bedroom, but Vanitas didn't reply, covering his face with his small hands and sobbing. He didn't care much about toys, he had never asked his parents for any, satisfied with what he already had. But that one was so cute! And now he wouldn't even be able to see it again!

"Vanitas!"

"T-The plushie…"

"What?!"

"The blue one… A blue plushie…!"

His mother approached him with heavy steps while he tried to hold back his crying.

"Why didn't you come? I asked you to..." He pointed to the window. "I wanted to see it!"

"You already have too many toys in your room! Why don't you go play with them instead of crying like a baby?"

"I wanted to-"

She yanked him by his arm, forcing him to look at her. "Look. Look at me! I'm tired of you bothering me every single day! I told you I'm busy, didn't I?"

"Y-You did..."

"So you better stop being a nuisance and shut the hell up! You either stay quiet or I will lock you in your room again! I'll continue with my work now and if I hear you crying like this again I swear I'll-

"Don't hit me! Please, d-don't hit me, mom!"

"Then shut the hell up!"

Vanitas held his hands together as soon as his mom let go and turned her back to him, returning to her bedroom without saying another word. He tried to stop crying but just by looking out the window he felt sad again. Whimpering, Vanitas got out of the sofa again and went back to his own room, crawling into his bed. He lay down and sighed, trying to keep himself from crying as best as he could.

* * *

"What's wrong with this boy?" Xehanort asked during lunch, irritated at the child who played with his food without eating it.

"Ignore him. He just wants a stupid toy."

"What toy?"

"A blue one." Vanitas said, shy. "It's cute."

"A child walked by with it and he saw. Now he won't stop talking of it!" Said the woman, turning to her son. "You better eat all of that!"

Xehanort let out a low laugh, shaking his head. "A person of such a small size suffering for a toy. For Christ's sake...'"

They continued. Vanitas didn't pay attention to them, thinking only about the plush while he forced a spoonful of food down his throat regardless of not being hungry in the slightest. Once his parents were finished they left the kitchen, leaving the boy alone until he ate everything and was finally allowed to go to his room.

Ever since Vanitas saw the plush he'd go to the window and stay there, observing expectantly only to be disappointed and return to his room. Sometimes, after waiting for hours with no success, he'd lay on the sofa and watch cartoons on the TV. On one of those days, he found it.

"Mom! Mom!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. She came running due to the urgency in his voice. "Come here, come here!"

"What, what is it?"

"There! That one! That's it!"

She turned to the TV and frowned. The famous Mickey Mouse was on screen, running around with what looked like a giant a key in his hands, his partners Donald and Goofy right behind him while the three of them faced dozens of enemies and monsters! Among these monsters, dark creatures appeared from the ground, white ones took shapes they didn't have before… And blue ones came out of the shadows, joining the others. The narrator spoke as they appeared.

"... can have them in your house too! Get one today! Shadow, Nobody or Flood-"

"Flood!"

"-and complete your collection!"

"Flood! That's it, mommy, it's the one I saw, that's Flood!" Vanitas repeated, jumping with glee and pointing to the TV, then looking back to his mother with a smile full of expectation! "Can we get one? I want one! Did you see it appearing? It's has a cute name too! I didn't know-"

"Fine, fine, enough, stop!" She put her hands on his shoulders so he would stop jumping. "I heard you already, stop talking!"

"Pretty please?" Vanitas asked with shiny eyes. She sighed.

"You already have many of those, Vanitas!"

"Not that one!"

"But you have others!"

"But I want that one…"

She rolled her eyes and grumbled. Xehanort wouldn't like to know his money had been spent in a new useless toy. She crossed her arms.

"I'll think about it. But enough jumping and screaming!"

"Okay! I promise!" He ran back to the sofa, laying his head on one of the throw pillows and looking back to the TV. "Thanks, mommy!"

The woman sighed again and left him by himself watching TV.

* * *

Two weeks after, Vanitas met the one he would call his best and only friend for many years to come.

Flood arrived in a common plastic bag, still inside its box. His mother had finally bought it for him after hearing the boy ask over and over again and, despite Xehanort's constant complaints, both agreed that it would be better like that: To give the boy something new to play with, something he really wanted, would certainly keep him occupied for a while.

Vanitas was sitting on the sofa, watching the same cartoons he always watched in the morning while his father read the newspapers in the kitchen. As soon as the door opened however and he saw the plastic bag his eyes widened with curiosity.

"Hi, mom!"

"I brought something for you."

She took the box out of the bag, letting it be known what was inside and held it before the boy. Vanitas opened his mouth without making a sound, motionless.

"Take it. It's yours."

The little boy stretched his hands with somewhat of fear, taking one last look to his mom, checking if he could truly take it. His fingers were shaking with eagerness but also with surprise because he couldn't believe his mom had bought something for him. But she had! She really had!

"Flood! It's Flood! Mommy, it's Flood!" He screamed, bouncing and pulling the plush from inside its box, hugging it tighter than he had ever been hugged before. His mother smiled at him, a tired and unemotional smile that said _I hope you'll stay quiet now_ , but Vanitas didn't even notice, too busy hugging the thing he had wanted so much.

"How much did it cost?" Xehanort asked from the kitchen.

"It doesn't matter! You wanted the boy to be quiet, didn't you? Now he will be."

"Daddy! Mom got me a Flood!"

Xehanort grumbled, hearing the child's footsteps when he ran to him and stopped by his side, holding the plush for him to see, showing it to him.

"Isn't it cute?"

The boy smiled and his eyes shined so brightly that they seemed to be covered with tears. Maybe they really were, such was the happiness of the boy. Their parents shared glances and at last Xehanort looked at him again.

"Yes, it is."

Vanitas smiled even bigger, hugging the toy as if it was an old, dearly loved friend who he hadn't seen in a long time. Jumping with excitement, he hugged his father, hugged his mother and ran to his room to play, too happy to notice the way his parents stared at him behind his back.

* * *

From the moment Vanitas held the plushie in his arms, he didn't let go anymore. He would take Flood with him wherever he went and would hold him with care, with affection. Every day he woke up still holding it, wishing the plushie good morning with his sleepy voice. Every day he gave it a small kiss and petted it, laughing at how cute its triangular head was. Every day he talked and laughed with him, his friend.

After its arrival, Vanitas even took a liking to play more in their yard. _Flood likes the fresh air,_ he'd say. _It wants to play outside_. And so he went, holding the plush in one hand and a box with a few plastic cars and animals on the other, walking in fast and happy steps.

"Do you want to see my cars?" He'd ask the plush, assuming it had said yes and then picking them up, one by one. "This is the fastest! And this... It is the most beautiful. The little animals are cute too. Look at this baby cow!"

His mother would look at him from the door once in a while to see if everything was alright, soon going back inside and to her room again. Vanitas barely noticed, he continued his adventures alone, and when he felt tired he'd just put everything in the box again and take it all to his bedroom. Once he lay on his bed, he'd hold Flood on his lap and then choose one of his books, pretending to read it for it while making up stories based on the pictures he saw. And then he'd fall asleep, wishing it a good night and sweet dreams like he had seen being done in cartoons.

As he became more and more attached to his friend, Vanitas didn't notice his parents having more and more constant fights. While telling Flood stories, he could ignore his own. Playing with him, he could forget he never had anyone to play with and he could forget how in that exact moment his parents threatened each other in the living room. It wouldn't be enough forever; one day, that small blue thing wouldn't be able to make up for everything he needed. But for now, it was enough.

"Look what I can do!" He said one day, drawing in a blank piece of paper with his favorite crayon, the green one. "It's a kitten!"

Flood didn't reply, but it didn't need to. It just needed to listen.

"I love kittens! And puppies! And I like you too! I love you! You're the cutest!"

For now, Flood still made him smile. And, for now, that was what enough.

* * *

A few more months went by before the situation got out of hand.

It was on Friday. Vanitas had just finished eating dinner and decided to go outside to watch the stars, something he loved to do. He was sleepy but didn't want to sleep now, so he picked up his friend and went.

The sky was beautiful! The moon was shining really bright and Vanitas thought it was the most beautiful thing in the world. Sitting on the grass, he stood still watching the stars when he heard something. Music!

"Do you hear that?"

He stood up. It was a soft song, coming from not too far from there. In fact, he could swear it came from the other side of the street! It didn't sound like radio music like the ones his mother listened to, it seemed to be right there!

"Whoa!"

He held Flood by his tiny pointy hands, dancing clumsily with it on the grass. There were no voices, just instruments, and he loved that! Humming, Vanitas looked up again, counting the many lights he could see. One, two, three...

"Four! Heh! Like me! I'm four!" He told, gesturing four fingers to show his age to Flood when another sound, loud and nothing like the music he was listening to, made him jump.

It came from inside his house. His parents were arguing again.

"I've had enough of you, Xehanort! Every day is the same thing! Look at this house! It's filthy! Disgusting!"

"I work outside every day! It's your responsibility to at least clean the house since you don't do shit despite being on that fucking phone the whole day!"

"I use my phone to work!"

"Do you think I'm an idiot? To work? Where's all the money from this job of yours then?"

Vanitas unconsciously pressed his fingers deeper against Flood.

"I don't like it when they fight. It scares me." He smiled at the plush. "But… It's okay, right? They always fight. And everything turns out alright. Everything…" He looked at his parents again. "Turns out alright..."

The sound of breaking glass reached his ears.

"If anyone in here has the right to feel tired that's me!" Plates were broken again. His mother shouted something and his father got even louder. "I gave you everything you needed! I even shared my house with you! But you destroyed all I had, you fucked up my life!"

It felt more serious this time; they never screamed this much! Scared, Vanitas walked to the door, going inside the kitchen and trying to see what was happening.

He got there just in time to see his father hold his mother by her arms and punch her face. The boy gasped and took a step back, holding Flood against himself like never before, afraid. His mother stumbled to the side, leaning on the wall not to fall, and his father glared at her with anger. Hatred. Something else young Vanitas still could not understand.

"I'll give you one more day! You either leave this house… Or I'll kick you out of it by force!"

Vanitas looked back to his mom who was still recovering from the unexpected attack. He wanted to go to her but his father was too close and he felt scared, too scared to approach so he took a step back to stay away from the man's sight, hiding next to the wall.

"You… Son of a bitch-!" The woman started but Xehanort went against her again, holding her by her arms and shaking her.

"And if you dare to try anything against me… I swear I'll make you regret it!"

The silence that followed made the child shiver. He watched, still hidden, while his mother got ahold of herself and went to her room, his father grumbling to himself and rubbing at his temple. Only when the man turned to the sink was that Vanitas went inside and, as fast as he could go without running, entered his room and locked himself in.

He jumped to his bed, his heart pumping desperately against his chest. His father had hit his mom. And she didn't do anything. Could adults hit other adults? Who had broken the plates before? There was too much for him to understand but all he could think of was that he didn't want his dad to hit him too!

Hours were spent in silence. Vanitas wondered if his mother or even his father would come to his room to hurt him but neither did. He didn't hear anything and even though he was curious, he didn't want to go outside. When he couldn't hold it anymore and needed to go to the bathroom however, Vanitas saw the man sleeping on the couch and the woman on her bed. Believing everything was alright again, the boy let out a deep, relieved breath and finally felt calm enough to sleep.

* * *

"What do you mean you're leaving him here?"

He woke up with their screams. It was at 9 AM.

"What? Did you really think I was going to take him with me? I'm going to live my life! Recover the time I lost with you!"

"You can't do this. You can't do this!"

"I can and I will! I can't stand you anymore, not you and not that child! I've had enough!"

Vanitas opened his eyes slowly, still very sleepy, and turned to look to his closed door. He heard his mom walking outside and he also heard his father shouting at her. He couldn't fully understand what they were saying.

"I told you to leave-"

"And that's what I'm doing! If you really think you can take care of yourself all alone, then prove it!"

"I fed you and kept you here all these years and now you want me to keep h-"

Forcing himself to get up, Vanitas got off the bed. His stomach rumbled with hunger, reminding him he hadn't eaten anything last night, but that didn't matter now. With slow and silent steps, he opened his bedroom's door to take a peak and saw his mother taking a suitcase outside.

"Mom...?"

"He's not my responsibility!"

The woman didn't reply. She simply rushed to the car and threw her bags inside, Xehanort going after her, his nails pressed over his palm. Vanitas was still trying to understand. His father always let her go around in his car, why was he so angry about it today?

"Dad?"

"You cunt! How am I going to raise him alone?!"

She didn't seem to mind him and went inside the car, locking its doors. Xehanort ran and screamed at her but she was already backing the car up towards the street. Towards the street, with her bags in the car while Xehanort screamed for her to stop, why was she leaving with her things and why was his father shouting at her?

"Mom? Mom?! Where are you going?!" Vanitas asked out loud, his little heart beating too fast inside his chest. Xehanort turned to him ('Go back inside, boy!') but the woman ignored both of them, not even looking at her son.

"Mommy? Mommy! Daddy, where is she going? Dad, where is mo-"

"Go inside!"

"Is she leaving?" The lack of response scared him. "I don't want her to leave, why is she leaving….?"

"Shut up and go back to your room now!" Xehanort ordered, glaring at him with all the hatred he felt towards the woman now turned to the child.

"When will she come back? When is she coming back?"

"She's not! Now you better go inside before I-"

Vanitas opened his mouth in shock. She's not. She's not. Why wasn't she? What had happened? His eyes filled with tears as he watched the car move farther from them and he froze, just like his father who couldn't believe what was happening.

"D… D-dad..."

"Vanitas!"

Xehanort's angry voice pulled him out of his trance and he let out a shaky sigh, running back inside. Why was he so angry? Why did his mom leave without even saying goodbye?

"I don't want mommy to leave..." Vanitas whispered to no one and just as he turned around Xehanort was right behind him.

"To your room."

"You and mom had a fight again? Why?"

"Listen here boy, I'll only say this once so you better listen well: Your mother is gone, she's not coming back and if I hear your annoying voice again today I swear I'll make you regret opening your mouth!"

"Gone? But why? I-I want mom...!"

"Vanitas, I swear to God-!"

Vanitas stared up at his father and started to cry, shaking, unsure of what to do. He took a few wobbly steps toward the adult with his arms open, asking for comfort, for anything that could help him feel better and for a moment he thought he would have that. But the moment he hugged his father's legs he was pushed away and slapped on his face, sent stumbling to the sides until he fell on the floor.

The small boy looked up at his father again and immediately swallowed his tears, waiting for him to do something. He noticed how angry he looked. He remembered how he had hit his mother the day before.

"To your room."

The boy stood up and did as he was told, afraid. He closed the door once he was inside, barely breathing not to make any noise, and crawled back into the bed, desperately searching for Flood and hugging it when he found it. Vanitas couldn't say a word, deepening his fragile fingers over the toy, crying as silently as he could. His father had hit his mom and now he had hit him too. And now his mom has left and daddy said she wasn't coming back, but she hadn't even said goodbye to him, why hadn't she said goodbye to him?

The silence was suffocating. The child trembled and held his crying with pure fear, pressing his little friend against his chest as tight as he could, yearning to be held. Unaware that for the next years he'd keep calling his mom and asking for her to come back. Unaware that his mother had never truly loved him and while he cried for her she smiled for her freedom.

He looked down at Flood and sobbed against its small body.

"S-She didn't even say goodbye…"

* * *

It had been a week since his mother left. Vanitas was having breakfast with his father, carefully holding his plush on his lap while he ate. There hadn't been much talk about what happened. Xehanort avoided the subject all the time, drowning in alcohol and leaving the child on his own.

Vanitas took another piece of his bread, eating because he was hungry but not because he wanted to. He missed his mom. Every day waking up without her there made him feel empty and alone, even more than before. Xehanort never listened to him, never, and he'd even forget to give him food or help him with his bath. He was just a nuisance to his father and even when he tried to be something more he failed!

"... Alright."

He looked up from his bread to his father. Xehanort stared right at him.

"Now that it's just the two of us, things will be different around here." The boy nodded out of respect and Xehanort rolled his eyes. "First: You only get to watch TV the entire day when you're alone. The bills are too high and we need to take care of that! Second: No more toys of any kind from now on! You already have too many and I'm getting sick of them! Third:"

Vanitas didn't move, eyes slightly wide. That was sudden but it was what his father wanted and he had no one else, so he nodded again.

"Yeah?"

"... There will be a few rules to follow. They apply to everything, you hear me? If you're angry, if you're sick, if you're anything, I expect you to follow these rules!"

"W… What rules, dad?"

Xehanort counted on his fingers as he spoke. "No complaining. No fighting back. No questioning. No crying. No screaming. Do you hear me? I've had enough of your voice in my head all the time so I expect you to at least behave in my presence! Understood?"

Vanitas teared up; he felt tense. His father always sounded so angry with him but all he had done was to listen. He didn't need to look at him like that.

"Can… C-Can you say them again?"

"Oh, I will. I will say them as many times as necessary!"

"'K-kay… Okay."

"Okay, what?"

"Okay, dad."

Xehanort glared at him. "Okay, sir!"

"Right!" Vanitas nodded again. "Okay, sir! I'll behave!"

Xehanort got up, trying to calm down his nerves. Even when he obeyed, Xehanort still couldn't feel empathy for the child. But it would be alright; he would prove the boy's mother, he would prove everyone he could not only take care of himself but also of the stupid kid!

"You better be!"

* * *

The rain was falling heavily outside. A few minutes ago, the now 5-year-old child was happy for being home after school, away from the cold outside to the warmth inside his house. But he was no longer happy.

He was still sitting on the bed when the door to his room was opened.

"D-dad, I'm s-sorry-"

"Shut up."

Vanitas bit his lips and lowered his head, hugging Flood even tighter than before and trying to hold his whimpering. He waited for what felt like a long time for his father to approach and stop before him.

Thoughts of every kind went through the adult's mind. To drop a plate of food on the floor was nothing to get so angry at but the boy, that unwanted boy, the boy always got on his nerves! He always had that irritating voice calling for him. Always with that damn plush in his arms, that ugly thing that was probably stinking by now but that the boy wouldn't let go of because 'mom gave it to me'. Mom gave it to him, of course, the same mom who wanted to get rid of him, the same mom who hated him and who'd left him behind!

That brat who only made him spend his money not only with food but also school and clothes, that… Thing who had taken all the tranquility away from his life.

Xehanort didn't notice when his hand moved on its own and his fingers closed over the boy's ear, pulling it.

"How many times did I tell you not to run inside the house? Uh?"

Vanitas closed his eyes and clenched his teeth, a really low sob finally escaping his trembling lips. "I-It hurts…!"

"Answer me!"

"Many! M-many times, I… I didn't mean to-"

"Then why did you do it?"

"I-I… I wanted to..."

"Wanted to what?"

 _To bother me_ , Xehanort thought. That was all he always did, bother him! But the child, instead of talking nonsense, said exactly what he wanted and did so by breaking down, sobbing while answering.

"I-I wanted to show you the baby d-duck, I-I… I drew it at school, I w-wanted to show it to you…!"

Xehanort let go of him and observed the child hide how much he was crying on that disgusting blue plush, his tears mixing all the mite that joined in with that horrendous plush, that annoying cry-

The adult took a deep breath. A really low voice in his subconscious told him to stop and think about what he was doing. Told him there was still time to change, still time to do something so the child wouldn't be too much of a burden in the future as he was now. The voice said and repeated 'stop' but it was a very low one so he ignored it. He hated that child.

"Swallow these tears."

The little one trembled, doing his best to stop crying but he was scared, he was so scared…

"D… Daddy..."

"Silence!"

"P-please-"

His hand moved on its own again; that was what he said to himself every time he did that, every time he threw the boy on the ground from hitting him so much, and would say it again as many times necessary. Anything to justify the body of the boy swaying to the side when his small face was hit by his hand. The child held his breath and looked down again, shaking even more violently now, terrified.

"Speak at once, stop crying like a baby!"

The boy nodded to tell him he was listening even if he couldn't speak. Despite that, it took him a few seconds to catch his breath, a few seconds until he was able to look at his father again and finish his sentence.

"P… Please, don't hurt m-me."

Xehanort held his breath for a few seconds and a new wave of words said by that damn voice came back to him. Hatred took over his being but above that a bit of guilt. A bit of remorse, perhaps.

No. It was a bit of fear, in case someone found out about what he had done.

"I will be a good boy… I will..."

"If that happens again-!"

"it won't! I-It won't, I promise!"

"It better not!"

He screamed his last words and Vanitas resumed sobbing but this time he did not make a sound. He didn't want to irritate his father anymore but as long as he continued to cry he'd keep shouting at him and, with that in mind, he bit his lips and buried his face on Flood's small head to hide again.

Xehanort took a deep breath - He wanted to beat that boy until he shut his mouth for good - and left the room, hitting the door behind him. And little Vanitas stood still for almost an hour, afraid his dad would come back and hurt him again.

* * *

Vanitas was slowly getting used to being alone. Since his mother went away, his father would leave him at home all the time, reminding him to stay quiet so no one would notice he was alone in there or he'd suffer the consequences. It became normal to him; his father would leave a plate of food on the microwave and all he had to do was to warm it up when he felt hungry.

After he turned 6, Vanitas learned how to do more things on his own; he'd make simple sandwiches and juice for himself. He could handle a few things and entertain himself with his only friend but even then he didn't like being alone for so long. For that reason, he would wait anxiously for the time when his father arrived, even if the man didn't really spend too much time with him.

That day, Vanitas was lying on his bed trying to read a story for Flood but unable to, constantly checking the time. It was past midnight and there was still no sign of the adult. At first, he thought of calling for a neighbor but his father had prohibited him from leaving the house or making any sound while he was away. However, hours continued to go by, it started to get dark and he was still alone. Thankfully there were some fruits on the fridge, which had been enough to control his hunger for now, but he couldn't sleep!

Nervous and anxious, Vanitas tossed from one side to the other on the bed. What if his dad were hurt? What if he couldn't make it home? What if he had left him just like his mother and he had to live alone forever, without no one?

"He'll be here soon, Flood." He told his friend once again, kissing its triangular head, trying to convince himself that he hadn't been left behind. "He'll be here soon..."

Only one hour later was that he heard the sound of a key on the door. He jumped to a sitting position and waited in silence, still holding on to Flood, until he heard the door open and close again.

"Daddy?" It could only be him, of course. Only he had the key. Vanitas heard steps down the hall, approaching his room. "Daddy, is that you?"

Xehanort stopped before the door and turned to look at him.

"Daddy, you arrived!"

Vanitas breathed relieved and smiled but the man let out a surly groan, his eyes going from the boy to his room and back to the hall, with no focus at all. Vanitas stopped smiling; he already knew what it meant when he looked like that. Dad was drunk again.

"G-go sleep, boy…!" He said and left for the kitchen. Vanitas looked at Flood then stroked his head.

"See? I said he'd arrive!"

Relieved, he covered himself up again, stretching and closing his eyes. Maybe his dad wasn't kind to him but he was still his dad. And he gave him clothes and food! And he took him to school! The fear of not having him around was worse than being hit by him and knowing he was right there made Vanitas quickly feel calmer.

He was almost falling asleep when the door opened again and his father showed up. Vanitas looked at him.

"Hi."

Xehanort blinked tight, grumbling under his breath and rubbing his face with both hands; the light made his eyes hurt. Still, he entered the room and approached the bed, looking to the boy.

"Are you okay, son?"

Vanitas smiled. "Hm-hm."

"Good." He grumbled again, looking at the boy from his head to his feet still covered by the blanket. "Very good..."

He sat on the bed and Vanitas frowned. Whenever his father drank he generally screamed at him or locked himself in his room, but he looked calm today.

"What did you do today?" Xehanort continued. His eyes were red.

"I played. And… And I had an apple. And I watched TV." Vanitas thought for a moment. "I think that's all."

"You played? Mmhm..." He ruffled the boy's hair and Vanitas' eyes shined. He knew that was a kind of affection, he'd seen other dads to that to his classmates, but it was the first time his dad did it to him! "Do you want to play a little more before sleep?"

Vanitas opened his mouth in awe. Did dad want to play with him? But he never played with him! And he never spoke this calmly either! He must be in a really good mood but that didn't matter because he wanted to play! The boy smiled from ear to ear.

"You wanna play with me?"

"Mm-hm."

"'Kay!" He exclaimed, throwing his blanket aside and ready to jump out of bed. "I have a lot of toys! Did you know I have a little ox? We can make a farm! And a road too, I have a few cars, they're super fast, it-"

Vanitas continued, bringing as many toys as he managed to carry in his arms back to bed. He put them on it and sat next to them, occasionally looking back to his father to see if he was going to say something, but he was quiet. There was a calm smile on his face, which made Vanitas smile too.

He held two plastic animals in his hands and showed them to him. "This is an ox and this is a cow. Did you know they like to eat grass? Look." He put them on his blanket. "And this is the fastest car in town! The driver is the owner of the animals, he takes care of them when he's not in a race."

And he talked. He talked about every single one of his toys and about the stories he had made up for them, only shared with Flood until that day. His father listened or at least seemed to be listening to him, and even if he wasn't saying anything the boy was happy because he was paying attention to him.

"… and that's that! Which ones do you want?" He looked up to the man with a shy smile, waiting for him to say something but Xehanort didn't speak right away. He was busy. Thinking and talking to himself in his mind tampered by alcohol and anger.

He shook his head. "Daddy… Will teach you another way to play today."

Vanitas' eyes glimmered, blinded by his childish innocence. "Yeah? What are we playing?"

"It's a game between… Dads and sons. But..." He swallowed. Thinking. Rethinking. Xehanort smiled and ruffled the boy's head before moving his hand to rest on his small legs. Vanitas followed with his eyes.

"You are a good boy, aren't you, son?"

"I am?"

"Of course you are." Xehanort sat closer to him, letting a few of the toys fall on the floor. "You stayed quiet the whole day until I came back home."

"Mmhm!" He agreed with a nod. "Like you told me to do, right?"

"Yeah… Like I told you to do..."

Xehanort once again ruffled the boy's hair, but he wasn't looking at his face. His eyes were still on his legs. His face was red and he questioned what he was doing or what he was about to do when Vanitas spoke to him.

"Daddy, what are we going to play?"

He smiled. "You'll see. But I need you to do something for me."

"What?"

He smiled bigger and this time Vanitas felt something weird. That smile wasn't as soft as before and his father's hand was-

"You'll stay quiet… Really quiet… And will not talk about this with anyone."

Vanitas widened his eyes. He suddenly felt very uncomfortable. He didn't like that. He didn't like how his father was looking at him. He didn't like how he was suddenly afraid and how he felt cold and how all of his toys fell to the floor when his father tossed the blanket aside.

"… Dad…?"

"Shhh..."

He didn't know what was happening, but he knew he didn't like it. He didn't like how his father looked at him. He didn't like how he was being pressed against the bed.

"Dad-!"

Xehanort continued to touch him, to move his hand down his small body, to press his fingers against his skin. Vanitas widened his eyes and felt the pants of his pajamas being pulled down and started to ask his father to stop because he didn't want that anymore, but he was ignored and his father continued. And continued. And then came the pain and Vanitas started to cry. Flood watched everything.

"I-It hurts! Dad, stop-!" Xehanort put his hand over his mouth, muffling his screams, groaning at the child.

"... Shut up, Vanitas!"

The child sobbed, choking with saliva.

"And stop crying!"

He asked, he begged for the man to stop, but it was all to no avail! For the few minutes where he called without being heard, called while being ignored, Vanitas tried to understand what was happening. He tried and he thought and he imagined that, if mommy was there, she could ask the man to stop and he would listen.

"I-I…"

But there was no one else there, no one he could turn to, only he and the monster that his father was. And before the pain became too much for the young child and he passed out, Vanitas could only try to understand what he had done wrong.

"I-I don't wanna p-play anymore…!"

* * *

The next day, Vanitas woke up earlier than usual. He felt confused and tired and it only took the smallest movement for the pain to spread through his entire small body again. He squeezed his eyes shut, grasping the pillows and shaking.

It was quiet. He didn't know if Xehanort was home or if he had left for work and he also didn't know which he preferred. The more he remembered yesterday, the more he knew he hadn't liked their game. And the more he knew that the more it hurt.

He tried to sit down but the pain was too much for him and he lay down again, tearing up. After much effort, Vanitas managed to turn around and moved his hand on the bed in search of his friend. Flood had fallen on its side but was still safe on the bed, and the child pulled him to his chest in a tight hug when he heard something behind him.

"Vanitas?"

He tried to speak, but his throat was dry and even his senses were still messed up. He curled up under the blanket, his eyes open wide.

"Son?"

He heard steps and whimpered. His father sat on the bed and touched his shoulder. He felt like crying.

"... Vanitas?"

His voice was still low. Calm. Soft. Just like the night before. Vanitas couldn't understand what he was feeling or what had happened, but he turned around to look at him.

"H-hi?"

Xehanort sighed, more relieved than the boy could understand. Relieved that he was… Well after last night, fearful that he had hurt him too much. Xehanort smiled; he could still feel the alcohol in his brain.

"I'm going to work. Will you be okay?"

Vanitas felt his heart clench and agreed with his head. He felt a shiver when his father caressed his hair.

"Good boy."

He didn't go to school the next day, not even on the next. It was easy for him, to be quiet. Not to let anyone know he existed or else his father would have problems. But the days passed by, the silence grew ticker and he woke up in the middle of the night one day when his father played with him again. He didn't like that game, he hated that game, but he was a good boy. He was a good boy and he followed the rules. No complaining.

Vanitas no longer did the things he liked; he didn't feel like eating or watching his cartoons. He didn't feel like playing with his toys, all of them except Flood now kept away in a box, untouched ever since the first time dad had ruffled his hair. He stopped eating during the day, his father too busy to notice, and at night he'd drink a cup of chocolate but that was all he had on the day. On weekends, he'd accept anything dad made for him but that was nothing compared to what he needed and it didn't take long for him to fall sick. Xehanort only noticed it when the child threw up on his plate one night on dinner.

"You're cleaning that up, brat!" He screamed, getting up from his chair and walking to the sink looking for something he could use to clean the mess, but Vanitas threw up again and started to cry.

"'K-kay..." The boy whimpered, hugged the plushie that was always on his lap and tried to stand up from the chair to help. Before he could, however, he felt dizzy and fell down, hitting his face on the cold floor.

"Fucking hell!" Xehanort ran to him. "Pay attention, boy!"

"I'm sorry… I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"'I didn't mean to', everything you do you didn't mean t-" Xehanort stared at him and finally saw how pale he was. "Boy, what did you eat yesterday?"

"Uh…?"

"For lunch. And before yesterday. Have you eaten at all?"

Vanitas' lips trembled and he lowered his gaze, shaking his head.

"P-Please, don't h-hurt me..."

Xehanort let out a deep sigh. It was undeniable that the boy was sick. He was aware of the things he had done, but he didn't expect that to...

"I'm not going to hurt you. I'll give you a shower. You need to rest for a while."

He picked the boy in his arms, holding him tight so he wouldn't fall and Vanitas lay his head on his shoulder, hiccuping while being taken to the bathroom. Xehanort couldn't take him to a hospital in that state; they'd blame him for leaving the child malnourished. That would lead to questions he didn't want to answer and if they suspected anything had happened...

"Dad will take care of you."

He couldn't let that happen. In his arms, Vanitas sobbed.

"I-I'll be a good boy..."

* * *

Vanitas didn't cry the night they left their house. He didn't cry while the car moved away from the only place he'd known as a shelter, from the place where he once had had a real family.

He had cried before, while his father prepared their suitcases just like his mother had done. And then he proceeded to prepare his son's bag, all while the boy watched him.

"Dad, where are you going?"

"Leaving. To another house."

"Why?"

"To have a better life. In a place where no one knows us… To begin anew and leave the mistakes behind."

"... Am I a mistake?"

Xehanort took a deep breath. "I am not leaving you behind."

It took them a few hours to arrive in the town where they'd spend the next years: Twilight Town. Vanitas didn't say a word, just observed the road with Flood on his lap. It occurred to him that he would no longer hear that beautiful music at night in the backyard. He would also no longer see the other children leaving school through the window. He wondered what his new house would be like, if he would go to another school and if he would have any friends.

It had been hard enough for him to go to school after his mother left. It was even worse to study in a new school, with people he didn't know, in a city and even a house that was foreign to him.

More than once Xehanort remembered him not to tell anyone about what they'd done. More than once he threatened him so he would never even mention those days. Vanitas wasn't going to, he hadn't even thought about it, and he would also never know of the lies his father had told the school principal to make sure that, if he ever mentioned it, he wouldn't be blamed for it.

Vanitas would remember his first few months at school with fear and distress. The teachers allowed him to take his plush to calm him down but, even with Flood in his arms, he didn't feel completely calm. There were too many students in his class; the teachers were all scary to him since any adult made him feel tenser than usual; the lessons they were learning wouldn't get in his head; and amidst it all, there were the other kids who, he was sure, mocked him behind his back.

It had been two months since he had arrived at the new school. Vanitas had just finished eating and was walking away to sit next to the slide, to watch the other children play while he petted Flood's head. He wasn't brave enough to play with his classmates and most of them had given up talking to him. Most of them.

"Hi! Do you want to play?"

Vanitas turned around, startled by the boy who stood next to him with shining blue eyes, his curly white hair moving with every bounce he took while walking.

"I'm going to the slide. Don't you wanna go?"

"Leave him, Eph. He never plays with anyone."

Vanitas hugged Flood tighter and looked away in shame. It was true, he never played with anyone and everyone who had called him before had already given up by now. It didn't take long and, as he knew it would happen, the curly haired boy turned his back to him and left to play with his other friends as well. Then, before he knew it, he came back and sat by his side.

"Hey." The boy spoke again, smiling at him. "Are you okay?"

Vanitas didn't reply, didn't even look at him. Was he okay? He wasn't sure. He felt constantly sad and anxious. Alone. Cold. Vanitas wasn't okay but despite everything, he didn't know the reason why.

"Mm… You don't talk much, do you? That's okay." The boy continued then smiled, looking down at the blue plush. "Your plushie is so cute! What's its name?"

That caught Vanitas' attention. He looked at Flood for a moment then agreed with his head.

"He's my friend."

"Yeah? I have a plush friend at home too! But my mom won't let me bring it to school."

Vanitas looked at him, wondering why not and then looking back to the slide. To the other children who occasionally stared at him but never said a word.

"My name is Ephemera. My friends call me Eph! What's your name?"

The bell for the end of the break rang. The kids who were playing left running to the yard where they'd get in line to go back to the classroom. Looking down at Flood again, the black-haired boy pressed his lips together then spoke in a low tone.

"Vanitas."

* * *

Just like another boy would do many years later, Ephemera did everything he could to get close to Vanitas. And just like it would happen with the blond boy who he would fall in love with in the future, Vanitas got attached to him.

At first, he continued to behave the same way. Quiet, alone, scared. That wasn't enough, however, to push the curly-haired boy away. More than once he had denied other children's invitation to play so he could stay with Vanitas, even if he didn't talk much. Ephemera didn't seem to be bothered by the silence.

"Look who I brought today!" He said one day, months after they had first met, and held a dog plush in hands. "Her name is Quely! She's a good girl!"

Vanitas' eyes glimmered, his attention immediately turned to the white and black dog plush. He gave Ephemera a shy smile, not letting go of Flood when he did.

"She's cute."

"She is, isn't she? Now she can be your friend's friend!" Ephemera smiled, handing Quely for Vanitas to hold, his smile growing bigger. "See? The two of them can be friends, like us!"

"Like… Us?"

"Yeah! We're friends! They can be too!"

Vanitas felt something warm and pleasant inside his chest. He was... Confused. There was the initial euphoria because he had never had a friend besides Flood, but how could they be friends if he barely spoke? Friends played when they went to the park. Friends laughed and enjoyed being together. Friends shared things-

He widened his eyes, looking at the dog plush on his lap and then to the only friend he had had since very young. With a clench in his chest and with more difficulty than he thought he would have, he pressed his fingers on Flood and gave it to Ephemera, waiting for him to hold it. And he did.

"Like us..." Vanitas said very low when he saw the other caress the head of his plush. His eyes watered with tears and he smiled. "Friends!"

Ephemera became to Vanitas what he had never had. It was him who gave him his first affectionate hug. It was he who drew with him because he wanted to and not for an obligation like with his other classmates. He was the only one Vanitas trusted enough to leave Flood with. The only one who ever invited him to his house, even if Xehanort never let him go.

Everyone could see how close they had become. The two little boys walked around the school, never leaving the other's side, always holding each other's hand. Ephemera wasn't just his friend, he was his best friend! Even when his father hurt him, for Eph Vanitas still felt excited to go to school. His friend never judged him for not getting the lessons quickly, he liked him for who he was and for the next two years they became as close as best friends can be.

"I got a videogame for my birthday! My parents said you can come home to play with me!"

"A videogame?"

"Mmhm! It has two joysticks! One for me and one for you!"

Friends shared things. And Ephemera shared everything with him.

But Vanitas couldn't do the same. He shared what he had at school and always helped him when he needed, but his experiences, things that he wanted to talk about, he couldn't. Even after he turned seven he still couldn't sleep without Flood and still had nightmares whenever his father entered his room without knocking. He was humiliated every day, left alone almost always and obliged to clean even his father's dirty bedroom.

And yet, as soon as he got to the school and Ephemera ran to him, held his hand and started telling him about what he had done the other day, Vanitas felt good. He could leave his fears and his nervousness behind when they were together, ignore that these were actually becoming worse with every day.

* * *

"Alright, alright, come closer everyone!"

All the students started to gather but Vanitas didn't move, staring at all that commotion not knowing what to do. It had been a cool lesson, their paintings looked nice but he didn't understand why taking a picture was so important. That is until Ephemera reached for his hand again and pulled him closer to the others.

"Eph, what are you-"

"Come on, Van, or they'll take the picture without us!"

"Closer or you won't all fit the frame!" The teacher said, pointing the camera to her students while they gathered together. Vanitas looked at her then to his friend.

"I don't like taking photos!" He exclaimed which wasn't exactly a lie. He just rarely took any pictures and wasn't even sure one of himself even existed! His father had never taken one, of that he was sure, and his mother...

"Just one! Just to remember this day!"

Vanitas opened his mouth to say something but closed it when the teacher spoke, waving at them.

"Alright! One… Two..."

"Smile, Van!

"... Three!"

There was a loud _flash_ before everyone split up again, laughing and chatting about the lesson, and that was it. Vanitas frowned, confused and surprised at how fast (And simple) it had been. He didn't think too much of it for the rest of day, joining Ephemera and his other colleagues, but he would understand how much that moment meant just a few days later when each of the students of his class received a printed copy of the photo.

"It looks cool, doesn't it?" Ephemera said and gave him a nudge, holding his own copy in hands. Vanitas looked at him and nodded.

"It looks great, Eph!"

Vanitas was still smiling when he went home, humming a song to himself, his photo safe inside his backpack. There was no one with him so he had no reason to hide how much he liked it. Specifically, how much he liked to see his friend there. A memory, yes! So they could remember that day when they were older.

The boy laughed; when they were older? That was a funny thought. Until now he had never imagined himself in the future, what he would be doing or even what he would like to do. Everything about himself always seemed to be covered in a thick, dark fog, which was why he avoided thinking too much about it. Looking at that photo, however, made him wonder what he would be like as he grew older.

When he got home, Vanitas left his backpack on the couch and walked to the kitchen - It would soon be lunch time and he needed to prepare everything for his father. He started by doing the dishes that had been left in the sink the night before, humming yet another song to himself while he did, and had just put the rice to boil when he heard his father's footsteps.

"Hi, dad."

Xehanort walked right by him and went to the bathroom, his eyes semi-closed with tiredness and lack of sleep. Vanitas didn't say anything, just continued with his chores so he could go to his room and rest, and so when he was done he picked his backpack from the couch and went.

After cleaning everything he pulled the photo from inside his backpack and looked at it for a moment, smiling again. It felt good to smile like this. Vanitas ran his fingers over the print, over his and Ephemera's happy faces. He wanted to frame it, to put it somewhere he could always look at. He'd have to buy a photo frame though so he decided to just leave it at his bedside table for the moment.

"Vanitas!"

He jumped; he had his back to the door when his father came inside without warning again.

"... Yes?"

"What are you doing in there?"

"Uh… Oh, I'm... " Vanitas ran his hands down his hair. "Just doing some cleaning. Why?"

"The water for the rice has almost dried up, did you forget you're supposed to-"

"The rice! I'm sorry, I-" He exclaimed and took a step forward when he noticed Xehanort looking at the picture and then picking it up.

"What is this?"

Vanitas frowned; he hated when he touched his things without permission. "It's… It's from school. We took it last week during one of our lessons. Our teacher gave each one of us a copy. I'll buy a frame to put it in."

His father didn't move. He seemed interested in the picture, staring at it intently, touching it with his fingers.

"Dad?"

"At school, you say."

"Yeah...?"

"And what does… This mean?"

"Wh-"

Vanitas stumbled backward with the strong slap on his face. Caught by surprise, he recovered his balance in time to notice a weird shine in his father's eyes before he spoke again.

"What does this mean? Answer me!"

"What are you talking about? It's just a p-picture!"

"And what about this?"

Xehanort turned the picture to him and pointed at it. He was pointing at him, at him and Ephemera but not to their faces. He was pointing to their hands.

"Holding a boy's hand? At school? Is that what you've been doing?"

Vanitas stared at him in dismay. Yes, he did hold Ephemera's hand daily but there wasn't an exact reason for that, was there? Both were used to doing that, it became a habit for them. They always walked like that around the school and no one ever complained. "... Eph likes to hold hands. And-"

"A boy likes to hold your hand? And you just let him?!"

"I do… Why?"

The man took a step forward, his teeth clenched, features contorted with meaningless anger. Vanitas took a step back, failing to understand what was happening or what was wrong!

"I send you to school for you to study! Then you come home to tell me you're fooling around with a boy?"

"He's my friend! There's nothing wrong with it, our teacher lets us-"

"Your teacher doesn't tell you what to do!" He screamed, fixing his eyes on him. "I tell you what to do and I don't want to see you with any other boy, you hear me?"

"Dad, we didn't do anyth-"

Vanitas felt his body go cold when Xehanort crumpled the photo in his hand and proceeded to tear it in half.

"What are you doing?" Vanitas shouted. "Dad, stop!"

But Xehanort continued to tear it in one, two, and more pieces, destroying it all while his son asked him to stop! Vanitas tried to take it back but was pushed away, being elbowed on his face and falling to the floor.

"I hope-" Xehanort let the pieces fall and reached for his pants' belt, unbuckling it. "You learn this lesson well, boy..."

Vanitas felt his throat dry up and completely forgot the picture. He opened his mouth to try and say something but couldn't move. He could only look while his father took his belt away and finally held it in his hands. Dozens of thoughts raced in his mind, memories he had tried to bury and hide from himself, and in his dread one of them seemed to echo in his head, his voice as loud as it had been years ago.

 _I don't want to play anymore!_

"D… Dad, please, don't-!"

Vanitas screamed when Xehanort hit his shoulder with the belt.

"I don't want to see this again! Do you understand me?"

"Dad-!"

The belt hit him on his legs. Vanitas screamed again and tried to stand up, turning to the bed, trying to move towards it and being hit on his back.

"That hurts! P-Please, stop, it hurts-"

"Shut up!"

Vanitas felt the pain again but immediately tried to contain his screams. He felt his father's fingers reach for his hair as he forced him to kneel, making him tremble as he remembered the nights when his father had surprised him in his room.

"P… Please, don't do this..."

"What are the rules? Repeat them!" Xehanort hit his back with the belt again.

"N… No fighting back-"

"Wrong!" The belt hit his shoulder again. Vanitas held onto the bed sheet, groaning.

"No crying…!"

"Wrong again! For fuck's sake, how many times do I have to repeat them? Will I have to start over? Are you fucking with me?"

"N-no, I swear I'm not…!"

"Then repeat them to me!"

But Xehanort didn't let him talk. He kept on hitting him, the sound of the belt cutting not only the air but also his skin and Vanitas pressed his face on his bed to muffle his screams. It felt like he had been there for a long time now but the more he asked him to stop the harder he hit him until it cut through the thin cloth of his shirt, leaving markings which he'd have for the rest of his life.

"No… Complaining… No fighting back… No q-questioning and..." He bit his bottom lip, his eyes closed tight. "N-no cryi- AH!"

Vanitas choked when the buckle of the belt hit his ribs with force and let out a shaky sob, refusing to turn around, refusing to even breathe. He felt his father's heavy hand on his shoulder again.

"I will not accept people like these at my home so you better not be one of them! Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Vanitas nodded, his head still pressed on the sheets. No, he didn't understand. He didn't know who the people his father was speaking of were, he didn't understand why he was being punished when he hadn't done anything wrong. But he nodded, he nodded so his father would let go of that belt, let go of him!

"If I find out you're with another man, you will regret it. You understand me?"

"Y… Y-yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes, sir..."

"Good. Now that you've listened and after you've stopped crying-" He straightened himself, turning his back to his son and walking back to the door and to his own bedroom. -"make sure to clean up this mess!"

Vanitas stood still in the same position until he was sure his father wouldn't come back. He wouldn't be able to move even if he wanted to, the pain on his back being too much for him to do so. His eyes were red from crying, he felt tired after being hurt so much and while trying to move his eyes fell over the plush on his bed. He had watched it all. Again.

It took all in him to turn around and see what he didn't want to see. His body hurt and with each movement, his cut skin stretched and bled more. Tears started to fall down again and he crawled to the photo, carefully picking every single piece with his shaky fingers and placing them in his hand.

What had just happened? It was just a picture! A picture he had liked very much, that he had taken with his friend. That he was going to frame! Why was it so wrong to hold his friends' hand?

Vanitas couldn't understand what had just happened, he didn't know why he had been punished, why it was so wrong to have a friend who enjoyed his presence. Unable to stand the pain, Vanitas lay on the floor, sobbing uncontrollably and desperately. He was bleeding. He was hurting. But nothing hurt more than to see something so precious to him be destroyed right in front of his eyes.

* * *

"Where have you been? Are you okay?"

Ephemera came running to him. Vanitas hadn't gone to school for a week, ever since he had been punished by his father. The pain made it hard for him to walk which would eventually make people look and ask questions. It would be easier to simply stay away for a few days and that was what he did.

To see so much worry in his friends' face however made him feel bad, guilty. He should've told him somehow, maybe go to his house just to tell him he was okay. What would he tell him, though? He couldn't tell him the truth after all.

"Hey! I… Uh, I got sick. You okay?"

"I am now!"

The boy moved fast to hug him and Vanitas had to resist the urge to scream in pain. He groaned and hugged his friend back but Ephemera had already noticed.

"Van?" he let go of him, tense. "Did I hurt you?"

"I-It was nothing. I… Fell out of bed last night, my body hurts."

"Oh… I... Hope it stops hurting soon!"

"Yeah." _Me too._

At the start of the day, nothing seemed to have changed. They went to classes together, as usual, Vanitas sat on the same desk as before and they followed the same routine. Nothing seemed different, nothing felt different, not until Vanitas noticed that Ephemera, despite looking happy for seeing him earlier, didn't seem too fond of talking to him for the rest of the day. In fact, he spent most of his free time talking to other classmates but not him.

Vanitas tried to ignore that. Maybe Ephemera was just upset because he had practically disappeared without telling him where he was. In his absence, he must've found other friends, better friends. It was to be expected.

But if that was the case, why did he look so sad? Vanitas could tell something was wrong, that most of his smiles were fake ones, and wondered if he had something to do with that. Had he made Ephemera sad like this? Deep inside Vanitas knew his own insecurities were making him have precipitate thoughts, but he just couldn't help it. Two more days passed and the sensation that something was off still lingered, making him feel just as uneasy as he felt back home. He once asked if his friend was okay, to what Ephemera just said yes and nothing more. Afraid that he was bothering him, Vanitas decided not to ask anymore.

That silence, however, was getting to him. He didn't know what to think about it; it had been three days since he'd returned and it already felt unbearable. He had gotten so used to having Ephemera with him everywhere that he couldn't really imagine himself without him now. At the same time, he felt angry at his friend. Why lie and say he was okay if he wasn't?

On Friday, Vanitas left home earlier than usual, having been awakened by his father who wouldn't stop screaming for him to take the trash outside. He was used to this, but since the last few days had been awful he just couldn't stand staying at home that morning and left to school.

To his surprise, Ephemera was already there too. The place was still reasonably empty at the time and they went inside, not sharing any words besides 'Good Morning'. Vanitas wouldn't have said anything, still bitter at what was happening, at the pain he still felt, but Ephemera spoke to him.

"How are you?"

"I'm fine. You?"

"I'm okay."

It all felt so awkward, almost like they had just met even though they had studied together for two years now. More students started to arrive and Ephemera waved to his other friends, greeting them. Vanitas grumbled under his breath and his friend continued.

"You know..."

"Mm?"

"I… Miss spending more time with you."

"Oh." I do too, was what Vanitas wanted to say. But Eph looked like another person when looking at him. Just one second ago he'd smiled at the others and now stared at him like he was feeling uncomfortable.

"And I was thinking, you know, we could… Have ice cream together."

Was Ephemera feeling uncomfortable? Why? Maybe because he had no way of knowing where Vanitas had been the past few days? Maybe because Eph knew he was lying, maybe because he could tell he had lied about being sick. Maybe he could see right through him and realized there was too much he didn't know about, so it would be better to keep his distance?

"I'm going with my parents tomorrow. Before…"

Hence why he had turned to other classmates.

"Oh, so now you want to spend more time with me?"

Ephemera frowned. "Uh?"

"Why don't you invite your other friends?" Vanitas said, his hands in his pants pockets, fingers fidgeting inside it. "I spent a few days away and… And you're so close to them already. You can go with them."

"But… I want you to come with me! You're my friend too! My best friend!"

"Yeah?" Vanitas glared at him. "Well, I didn't know best friends were so easily forgotten like that!"

"Forgotten? But you weren't… Van, are you jealous?" The younger boy asked, genuinely worried and a bit scared with his friend's reaction.

"I'm not jealous!" Vanitas screamed. His father's voice screamed in his head and he took a step back. He felt his eyes burn and the buckle of the belt hit his ribs. "I'm not!"

Ephemera walked to him, reaching for one of his hands. "Vani, calm down! It's ok-"

"Let go of me!"

Vanitas held his breath. None of that would've happened if not for that, if Ephemera hadn't held his hand to take that damn picture! He could've stood next to him like the other boys, like a normal person but no! He really needed to have acted like a… A…

 _Why was it so wrong to hold his friend's hand?_

"I don't want you to touch me anymore! O-or to stay close to me! This is your fault, Eph, it's all your fault! If it wasn't for you, he wouldn't have-"

"But I didn't do anything!"

"What's happening here?"

One of their teachers walked up to them and Vanitas bit his bottom lip, looking away. Ephemera approached Vanitas one more time.

"Hey-"

"Get away from me!"

"Vanitas, stop!" The teacher stood between them, pulling the younger boy closer to herself. "What happened? Why are you fighting?"

"I don't want to talk to him! Tell him to go away!" Vanitas insisted, pointing to his friend and only then seeing the expression on his face.

"Why are you doing this, Van? What… What did I do wrong?"

Ephemera stood behind the teacher, still looking at him. The adult was trying to comfort him but Vanitas wasn't paying attention to her, only to his friend and to the tears that had started to run down his face.

"Van, what did I do wrong?" Ephemera asked again, feeling more and more desperate but Vanitas wasn't going to say it. He wasn't going to say it because there was nothing to say: He hadn't done anything wrong. Despite being indirectly responsible for his pain, even hurt Vanitas knew what happened wasn't really his fault.

No, the only one to blame was himself. He was to blame for making his mother leave, for his father punishing him, for his father playing with him. He was to blame for being born and for being a burden. He was to blame for holding the hand of a boy who was his best friend. Ephemera hadn't done anything. But Vanitas never got to say that to him.

He didn't remember what happened next. He didn't remember their conversation and didn't know if Eph was okay. He knew his father had been called, that he had been sent home earlier while being scolded by the adult, but before that, all he remembered was the way Ephemera had looked at him.

The boy went straight to his room. He felt even more uncomfortable today than in the last three days. he felt bad for fighting and to think about how much he'd hurt his friend made it all worse. It wasn't until he lay on his bed and felt his back aching again that he started to cry.

Vanitas was ashamed. Ephemera had other friends now, friends who didn't scream at him nor blamed him for things he hadn't done. And now, thinking better about it, that was okay. It was everyone's right to have more than just one friend. He wished he had more friends too! But...

The boy hugged his pillow, muffling his crying on it. He had to apologize. He had to, he wanted to, but what would he tell him? How could he tell him, how could he explain to him what had happened that made him feel so angry in the first place? He couldn't simply tell him his father had hurt him!

... Why couldn't he? That hadn't been the first time it happened. He was old enough now to know that not all parents hurt their children like that. But his father did and made him feel sad, his father was wrong so why couldn't he tell his friend about it?

 _Because I'm afraid_ , the voice in his head replied. That was is; just a terrible fear of what would happen to him is his father found out. But Xehanort had done so much already though. What else could he even do? Kill him?

A shiver ran down his spine. No, he wouldn't go that far. After all, he was his father! He wouldn't do that!

But there was no denying he would continue to hurt and humiliate him. Vanitas needed to tell someone, he needed help. And he needed to apologize to his friend.

It took him more than an hour to decide, more than an hour for him to finally leave the bed and get himself a piece of paper he could write on. He didn't want to lose Ephemera. He had already made his mother leave, he didn't want the same to happen to his best friend.

And so Vanitas wrote. He wrote about his mother, about how he missed her and how much he blamed himself for making her leave. He wrote about the nights he used to spend with his father, the words he had to hear and the many scars he got. He wrote about the day he took the picture home, about how Xehanort had destroyed it, about how he had been unable to control his emotions and frustration and therefore had lashed out at him. Writing everything down wore him out and Vanitas felt exhausted, but it had to be done. Once it was finished, he hid the letter as deep as he could in his backpack.

He didn't sleep well that night, anxious to deliver it and apologize. Waiting for the weekend to end felt like torture but finally, it was Monday and Vanitas left for school earlier again. He ran to the classroom, waiting for the arrival of the other boy. Minutes went by, more students started to arrive but there was no sign of him. Vanitas hoped he was just late and would get there soon. But he didn't. Not on that day, not on the next. Three days went by and there was still no sign of him and Vanitas was getting impatient.

So that was how Eph felt when he was absent? It was awful! He also needed to apologize for worrying him so much.

Three days turned into a whole week. He couldn't handle being without his friend like this and as much as he wanted to ask the others what had happened he didn't really talk to anyone else in the class. Finally, at the end of a lesson, he gathered up the courage and walked to Ephemera's other friends, hesitant but decided to ask.

"Where's Eph?" He asked, stuttering.

"Hm?"

"Ephemera! My friend! He… Is he sick? I… Wanted to talk to him but it's been a week since-"

"Eph? Wait, don't you know?"

The children exchanged looks.

"He left."

Vanitas felt like he had been stabbed in the chest. "W… What?"

"He left to another town with his family." One of the kids said, his hand on his waist. "We thought you knew. He was really sad with you, you know?"

"Yeah! Why didn't you talk to him before?"

"I… I…" Vanitas blinked a few times, pressing his fingernails on his backpack strap. "He didn't tell me he was leaving!"

"Well, he tried to. But it was hard for him, he didn't want to leave you!" Another child said and Vanitas felt his throat go dry. "And then when he finally felt ready to tell you, you shouted at him like that!"

"Yeah." One of the girls crossed her arms.

 _He didn't want to leave you._ "Was… Was that why he was different?"

"Why do you care so much now? You could've apologized to him before after all. Why just now?"

 _He left_.

"Mmhm. Everyone thought you were going to say something but you didn't!"

 _He left_. _Just like his mother. Because of him._

Vanitas took a few steps back, no longer hearing what they were saying. Ephemera had left. He had left, to another school, another town, how would he see him now, how would he apologize? His best friend was far away from there like his mom and his mom had forgotten him, would he forget about him too? Would he forget him, be angry at him for the rest of his life?

How was he going to apologize now?

"No… No, he can't… He can't leave like this, he..." Vanitas teared up. "I wanted to talk to him!"

 _But you won't. And even if he saw you now, do you think he'd want to talk to you? You hurt him! You were mean! Can you really consider yourself his friend?_

"I-I wanted to talk to him!"

Vanitas got home in tears. He opened his backpack on the bed and picked the letter from inside it, carefully folded for his friend to read it, now useless because he was never going to read it, never!

"Why didn't you tell me?" Vanitas held the letter against his chest, sobbing. "W-why didn't you tell me you were leaving? I don't want you to l-leave…!"

He threw himself on the bed, pulling Flood closer to himself and tightening arms around it. He couldn't stop crying, he couldn't stop thinking about how sad Ephemera had looked when he was screamed at!

"Why did you leave me? Why, Eph?!"

Vanitas felt like he was suffocating. His chest hurt and his head were pounding and he coughed and coughed, held onto his plush unable to stop, asking for God not to let his father hear him!

He thought of his mom when she left. He remembered how his parents had screamed words he couldn't comprehend back then and how she simply left with the car. Without even looking at him. Without even saying goodbye. And now his friend had done the same, he had left without even saying goodbye and once again that was his fault!

Vanitas held Flood before his eyes. He always wondered why he didn't have friends. He always wondered why he felt so alone and useless. Well, what had he done to avoid being alone, to avoid being useless? He had gotten attached to that thing, to a lifeless object and called it a friend even though he knew it couldn't answer him! Instead of doing something to change, he hid behind that thing, cried like the idiot he was and pushed people away!

 _It's all your fault._

"All your fault."

His father had always said that. He always called him a mistake, a waste of space. And he was right. No wonder he had no one who truly cared for him. No one but an old and filthy plush!

 _Leaving. To have a better life and leave the mistakes behind_

Why had he taken him with him then? He was his worst mistake. Everyone knew that. Everyone.

 _Now you're worried about him?_

No wonder he felt so out of place at school. No wonder he felt so out of place everywhere. He didn't belong anywhere, he did not have a family, he had no one to lean on for help. Nothing!

 _"You are a good boy, aren't you, son?"_

 _"You stayed quiet the whole day until I came back home."_

 _"Like you told me to do, right?"_

 _"Yeah… Like I told you to do..."_

He groaned threw the plush against the wall as hard as he managed to. He watched Flood fall to the floor almost without a sound, without weight, as if it didn't even have any importance. And if it didn't even matter! He could do whatever he wanted to it and the plush would still never complain or fight back!

It would never complain or fight back because it couldn't. Just like himself.

Despaired, Vanitas ran to his friend, leaned down and picked it up in his arms, staring at it with teary eyes. Looking at it with care, remembering that whenever he felt alone Flood had always been there for him. It didn't matter if it was a toy. It didn't matter if it couldn't talk nor hear! And even then, even after how much it meant to him, he had thrown it away as if it was trash!

"I'm sorry! I-I'm sorry, Flood! I'm so sorry…!"

 _I'm sorry, mom. I'm sorry, dad. I'm sorry, Eph._

"It's not your fault! It's only mine! Only m-mine..."

Vanitas still looked at the plush for a few seconds before deciding on what to do. He loved that toy. He loved that toy and to this day couldn't sleep without it. But if he was going to start lashing out on it, it would be better for it not to be around anymore.

Despite how much it hurt, he needed to let Flood go. For its own safety. Vanitas hugged it as tight as he could and kissed its small head again, just like he did when he was little, and then put it in a box, hid him as deep as he managed to. It was better to keep it away from him if it meant he would be safe.

Safe.

He said goodbye to the only friend he still had. He loved him too much to let it be hurt. And with that, losing all the self-control he had recovered a few minutes ago, Vanitas lay on the bed and wept for hours before passing out from exhaustion.

* * *

It was 8 PM and Vanitas left home, numb, not knowing where to go to or even what to do. His head felt as heavy as lead and his sight was failing him. He felt nervous, extremely anxious and needed, he needed to get away from that place and so he walked even if without a destination.

He stared down to his shirt stained with blood. It all had happened too fast. He had just taken a shower and was changing in his room when his father came after him, grumbling and screaming nonsense. He seemed to be complaining about a person Vanitas didn't know, someone who had apparently tricked him into something, and was waving a knife in his hand.

Vanitas didn't know why he felt worried about his father. But he did and tried to reach for the knife to take it away from him when he felt the blade on his chest, cutting deep into his skin.

Xehanort did nothing when he realized what had happened; he just stood there, staring at his 11-year-old son before walking back to the kitchen, where he then proceeded to open the fridge to get another beer for himself. All while Vanitas sat on his bed, shaking in shock and staring at the blood that poured out of his torn skin. Scared, he picked a black shirt he found in his wardrobe, put it on and left as fast as he could.

The boy walked for just a few minutes and stopped five squares away from home. With a groan, he sat on the sidewalk, burying his face in his arms. It was cold but he didn't care; all he wanted was to stay away from that man. He spent around ten minutes by himself before someone else arrived and stopped by his side.

He raised his head to look and was surprised to see another boy like him.

"Hey." The boy greeted him. "Can I sit next to you?"

Vanitas nodded and the boy thanked him, sitting by his side and pulling a cigarette pack from his pants pocket, a rather baggy one for his size.

"Do you mind if I smoke?"

"Huh? Oh, no, I… Don't mind."

"You want one?"

"N… No, thanks."

The boy still held one of the cigarettes in hand before holding it between his teeth, lighting it and dwelling in his own thoughts. He was happy to have someone else around, even if it was a boy he had never seen before. Vanitas, on the other hand, felt awkward and terribly alone. Left by everyone he knew, sitting next to a stranger in the middle of the night.

"I've never seen you around these parts." The boy said, pulling Vanitas from his own thoughts. "I'm Robert. What's your name?"

"I'm... My name is Vanitas." He didn't make eye contact, staring at the cigarette between the boy's fingers to keep his mind from wandering away. "Nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you too." Robert smiled; it was a soft smile, one that belonged to a child just like him. It did strike him as odd - Or sad - to see someone so young smoking, however. Not that he could judge him. "You new?"

"No, I… I've moved in a few years ago, I just don't leave the house much."

"I figured. I'm the only one who likes to take a stroll in this place. Gets pretty lonely sometimes but, hey, I might not be the only one now!"

"Oh, I'm not doing that every day, I just-"

"Man, you look tense! Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you, you know? You can stop stuttering."

Vanitas frowned, looking away from him and back to the middle of the street. It was quiet and, to him, scary even. Now that he was calming down, it hit him anything could happen this late at night, especially with young boys like him. He swallowed dry and smiled to himself; his own father had just attacked him with a knife. Why should he fear the streets?

"Are you sure you don't want one? My mom told me it helps people to calm down and it worked for me. Why don't you try it?"

Robert pulled another cigarette from the pack and offered it to him. Vanitas held his breath for a moment; he knew smoking was bad but right now it wasn't like it even mattered anymore.

"I… Uh..."

"Try it at least! If you don't like it then just throw it away. No big deal."

Vanitas cleared his throat. He should say 'no', the boy wouldn't force him to do it. He seemed to be nice and he was being kind towards him. Just say no and be done with.

"... You said this helps you calm down?"

"Yeah. And it works for my mom too."

There was no one else on the street. No one but two young boys talking on the sidewalk. For the next few minutes, they would talk and try to find things they both liked, both just trying to kill time and stay away from home for as long as they could. And for the next minutes, Vanitas would enjoy what would quickly become his addiction.

* * *

13-year-old Vanitas stared down to his notes again; he still had to get the toilet paper and a few cleaning products. His father was on another aisle and would probably take some time to go to the checkouts, but Vanitas wanted to get whatever they needed quickly and get out of there at once. All he had wanted for that day was to go outside and smoke, maybe chat a little with Robert and then go back to sleep. Right now though he was stuck at the supermarket with his father. Oh, well.

Rolling his eyes, Vanitas walked fast around the place, searching for what he wanted without really paying too much attention to where he was going. Taking another look at his notes, Vanitas took a turn and had just looked up when he bumped into someone. It was a small child.

"Auch!"

"Oh! Sorry!" Vanitas leaned closer to check on him. "Are you alri-"

He widened his eyes. The boy before him was a spitting image of himself! He had the same hair as him, the same nose, the same everything. The only difference was his eyes: They were not yellow but shiny blue ones. Like Ephemera's were.

"I'm looking for my dad! I can't find him!" The little boy said in a hurry and looked around. Vanitas blinked a few times, still taking in how much they looked alike, but focused on what really mattered at the moment: He was a little kid who was lost. He needed help.

"Did you come here alone?"

"No, I came with mom and dad, but-"

"So they're here in the supermarket?"

"Mmhm! But I was playing then I ran and I wanted to play catch but now I-!"

"Hey, don't worry! Come with me. I'll help you find them."

Vanitas held out his hand to the boy and waited for him to hold it back before walking with him. The supermarket wasn't that big really; he just needed to find the boy's parents and leave him with them before resuming his duties. Quick, easy and simple, until the kid started to speak.

"We always come here. I never got lost before."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Mom buys me lots of candy! And today we are going to another town for my birthday!"

"Oh." Vanitas nodded, not looking at him. "Cool."

"We travel every year for my birthday too! Sometimes mom and dad throw me a surprise party! It's really cool!"

"It is."

Vanitas could care less about any of that, but he let the boy speak. It was better than having a nervous child following him around, although it did worry him how comfortable the child felt walking around with a stranger. A child he didn't even know the name of. It suddenly hit him that he was completely responsible for him now. If something happened, he'd be the one to pay for it, even if he didn't even know the kid! He pressed his lips together, thinking. It would be better to take the boy to an adult who could help him. Maybe if he asked one of the cashiers about it he could-

"Daddy!"

As fast as he had shown up, the boy let go of his hand and left off running, jumping on the arms of a clearly worried father. The man hugged him tight and kissed his cheek before looking back at Vanitas with a smile that shouldn't have made him feel nervous, but did.

"He… Uh, he said he was lost. I was taking him to a cashier, and..."

"Thank you!" The man said. "He likes to run away from us when we're not looking. See what can happen now?"

"I'm sorry, daddy..."

"You found him!"

Vanitas smiled at them and watched the mother of the little boy run to him and cover him in kisses before scolding him for leaving their side. It was for his own good; she was worried and there was no real anger or hatred in her voice. But there was something more about her that made Vanitas keep staring...

She looked familiar. Strangely familiar, scarily familiar. He felt his stomach burn, a strange and nostalgic sensation taking over his mind. She was older, but her features were the same as years ago. Features he had inherited from her himself. Her voice sounded the same too, or almost identical to what it was like before, but he had never heard her speak so calmly and worriedly, he'd only ever heard her shout and scream. He stared at her for what felt like an eternity and gasped when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Ah… It's been a while, hasn't it?" His father spoke from behind him.

"Xehanort."

His parents glared at each other and Vanitas looked from one to the other, lost, feeling like an intruder between them. The little boy who looked like him turned to his dad, confused, but said father didn't return his look. The man knew who Xehanort was. He just didn't know who-

"Vanitas!" Xehanort said in a loud tone, and he sounded almost proud of himself. "Why don't you go and give your mother a hug?"

"Mother?" The woman asked in her usual cold tone of voice and looked at him. "He is not my son."

Vanitas felt his entire body go cold. He tried to speak but found himself unable to. He tried to look back at his father, waiting for him to do something, but he couldn't either. He felt his lungs ache with lack of air, the words cutting through him just like the knife his father used to cut him two years ago.

"Sweetie..." The man next to his mother spoke. Was he her husband? Boyfriend? Just a friend, perhaps? No, he was the boy's father, the boy who looked like him because he too had inherited more from his mom than from his dad!

"Daddy?" The boy who was his younger brother asked. "Is he okay?" And pointed at him.

But Vanitas wasn't okay. His throat was dry, his face was white as a paper sheet. He was shaking as if taken by a sudden awful fever and tears were endlessly running down his face. It felt as if he was suffocating but he still couldn't move. He couldn't do anything.

"So? Anything else you want to say?" His mother asked, staring at his father. Xehanort smiled at her; he had nothing else to say but Vanitas did, even though his voice didn't matter, as it had never before.

"Let's go home." Xehanort said and pressed his fingers on his shoulder. "I see you didn't get the things I asked you to. Great. Come, I'm in a hurry!"

Xehanort yanked him by his arm, forcing him to walk against his will. Vanitas barely reacted to it, he barely understood what was going on and let his legs carry him wherever his father wanted. His mind felt distant, he felt numb and during all the way home, he didn't even speak or reply to anything his father said. He could only think of her features. Of the person he had loved so much and then the words that came out of her mouth.

"It hurts, doesn't it?" Xehanort asked. "To realize someone never really loved you. Now you understand, don't you?"

Vanitas teared up, clutching at his own arms.

"No matter how much I told you, you refused to believe me. Your mother left because she wanted to, because she grew tired of you. She never wanted to have you, you were never meant to exist, you were a mistake. So.."

 _She left her mistakes behind_ , Vanitas thought. To start over, start anew. To be free.

"But even after I explained it to you over and over again you still lost your time trying to talk to her. Calling her, asking her to come home... Tch. Her home was never with you, boy."

Vanitas agreed with a nod but he didn't know what he was agreeing to. He didn't want to think right now, he didn't want to remember. But her words, those words were still playing in his head even when he went to sleep that night.

* * *

Vanitas hadn't done anything for the past few weeks. He did wake up and go to school. He did come back and do his chores. He did everything he used to but, in the end, didn't do anything in his heart. He felt hollow. Broken.

 _He's not my son._

Most of the time, all he did was lay on his bed and stare to the ceiling. Many things went through his mind, many questions, many ideas. He had a little brother; they had talked and had walked together for a few minutes, carefully holding hands. Maybe he'd do it again if given the chance to properly meet him. Who knows? He could turn out to be a good big brother after all. Or maybe he would get sick of it and lash out at the child as his father did with him.

But why did that even matter, anyway? Nothing mattered. Not even him. He had spent his entire childhood asking what was wrong with him and trying to understand the reason why his mother left without even saying goodbye. He'd tell himself that she left because life was hard and she didn't get along with Xehanort. But then he saw her hugging his brother. Kissing his face. She looked so worried about him, worried about his well-being and safety. A loved son. Unlike him.

Vanitas clutched at his chest, closing his eyes and swallowing his tears again, thinking. It hurt. It had been hurting ever since the beginning but it was only getting worse. He tried, he really tried to fight it, but after so long he couldn't take it anymore. He needed to make it stop.

The boy thought about the possibilities again. He remembered all the things he'd read, about what and how he could do, about the chances he had of making it to the end. Part of him didn't want to, but the other screamed at him, demanded, ordered for him to do it!

At 10:30 PM, when his father was already sleeping, he left his bed and walked to the kitchen. Opened the cupboard and picked their box of medicines, putting it on the table and choosing a few different tablets at random. In his mind, he screamed at himself again. Vanitas ignored the screams and counted the tablets: There were 5 one them, each of different medicines.

He looked to the pills for a few seconds and then to the fridge. Hesitating ( _Why am I hesitating ?_ ) he opened it and picked three of his father's beer cans, holding them all in his hand. He hated that thing. He hated its smell, couldn't even imagine what it tasted like. Well, there was always a first time for everything.

Vanitas returned to his bedroom with the cans and closed the door, sitting on his bed. He knew he should lock the door but for some reason, he tried to ignore that thought, the one that said he didn't really want to do what he was going to. It wouldn't make a difference, anyway; his father was sleeping and he would only wake up the next morning. Enough time for himself not to wake up anymore.

A harsh laugh escaped his mouth. After days of holding it in, he was crying again.

 _No complaining. No fighting back. No questioning. No crying. No screaming._

Yes, that's right. It was too late now to cry or to question what he was doing. At least in his final moments, he would stop being so weak.

Vanitas chose one of the tablets at random and threw one of its pills in his mouth, holding it against his tongue. With a disgusted look on his face, he picked one of the cans with equal disgust and opened it. He wanted that thing away. He needed it away!

When he turned it in his mouth, his first reaction was to spit its content. It was awful! And that smell, that damn smell that made him think of so many things, that made him _remember_ so many things, made his stomach churn. He gritted his teeth, glaring at the pill that too had been spat out, cursing himself before getting another.

 _Be strong. For once in your life, be strong!_

He took two meds at once and didn't allow himself to feel their taste, just held the can and forced himself to drink from it, taking four sips of beer before grunting and pulling it away for a moment.

He felt like throwing up. So he took two more pills.

The first bottle was emptied soon after. He looked back to his bedside table; there were still many of the pills. Some were bigger than the others, a few colorless, others colorful. A few of them he didn't even know what they were for. But it didn't matter now; they had other purposes tonight.

As soon as the second can was emptied, Vanitas felt the taste of bile in his throat. He couldn't throw up, he couldn't! If he did, he'd fail again and he didn't want to fail anymore. All he wanted was for it all to end!

 _This is not what I wanted._

He held his head in his hands, his breathing shortened as anxiety took over him.

 _I just wanted to be happy!_

His eyes wandered back to the pills. Xehanort was sleeping peacefully in his room, his mother and her husband were probably on their comfortable bed, while their son ( _My brother_ ) slept happily in his own bright, beautiful room. Did his father play with him at night too?

Vanitas opened the third bottle but just looking at it made his mouth fill with saliva. He felt dizzy and confused. In his 13 years of life, he had never even tasted any alcoholic drink and he told himself he was doing it now for a special reason. But it didn't feel special, he hated that and with each passing second, he felt his head and his stomach hurt.

 _No complaining. No fighting back. No questioning. No crying. No screaming._

He was shaking terribly, maybe because of the alcohol, maybe because of how nervous he was, maybe because of the fear he felt when he drank the last drop of beer. Maybe because his heart was pounding against his chest and he realized there was no going back now!

 _What have I done?"_

Vanitas lay on his bed with a violent shiver. The taste in his mouth got worse, his mind was spinning and he was no longer sure he had done the right thing. He thought he had, he believed he had, but he _felt_ he hadn't. He felt he had made a mistake, one he could not run away from.

He covered his head with the pillow. He needed to sleep. If he managed to sleep he wouldn't feel a thing, nor the nervousness, nor that horrible sensation and confusion. But no matter how much he tried, he couldn't stop thinking. Vanitas bit the inside of his cheeks and told himself to stop being such a coward but he couldn't help it and started to cry out of pure fear of what was going to happen to him. He didn't really want to do it, he told himself to be brave, and now he regretted it, but it was too late now, it was-

"Vanitas?"

His bedroom's door was opened abruptly and Vanitas pulled the pillow out of his face, his sight trying to adjust to what he was seeing. Xehanort, his father, was staring at him and his eyes were open wide. He looked tense, angry and… Worried.

"What did you do?"

Vanitas let out a small, repressed sob, and held onto the pillow. His father was looking at him the same way his mother had looked at her other son. He was looking at him and could definitely see something was wrong or else he wouldn't have been there now. Xehanort was truly worried about him and about what was happening! Even after all the things he had done maybe a little part of him actually cared after all because he was his father, and any father would care for their-

"Did you drink _my_ beer, brat?"

Vanitas choked. It was all too much for him.

He tried to hold it in and swallow but the pain was unbearable and he threw up, unable to move fast enough and doing so on his bed, the sheets wet with alcohol and the drugs he had taken. A loud and painful groan escaped his burning throat and he felt his stomach twist, refusing to keep the substances he had ingested.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry, d-dad..."

Xehanort approached him and when his hands touched Vanitas' face the boy broke down, pressing his hand against his stomach and coughing, throwing up again. It didn't take long for the adult to understand what had happened, there was no way he wouldn't understand after seeing all the tablets of medicine on his bedside table. He deepened his fingers on his son's shoulder.

"... Why?"

"I can c-clean it… I-I swear I can clean it..."

"Vanitas!"

"I'm s-sorry…" He sobbed, struggling not to vomit again. "I'll buy you some more… I p-promise…!"

Xehanort picked him in his arms, not saying a word as he rushed to the car and straight to the hospital. Vanitas, his head leaning on the window, trembled in shame and fear, apologizing over and over. He didn't mean to steal his father's beer. He didn't mean to make a mess on his bed. He felt dizzy, nauseated and was begging for God to let him pass out, drunk and torn with pain.

"D… Dad..."

He wouldn't remember the way to the hospital nor Xehanort talking to him when they arrived. But he did remember when he was held in his father's arms again, held against his chest so carefully and tenderly, which didn't mean he actually cared which ended up breaking him even more!

"The boy needs help!" Xehanort said from somewhere above him, talking to someone Vanitas couldn't see.

"Dad…"

"Someone, please, help him!"

"Dad, I'm s-scared..."

For a moment he swore he heard someone call his name. But it wasn't his father; their voice was soft and peaceful and he felt that whoever was rubbing his back talked to him with the worry and care he craved so much. That someone told him he would be alright, that he wasn't alone, and that they cared for him. Maybe those were only delusions due to the alcohol, or simply due to his need of being comforted, of being held. There was no way for him to know and before he could ask, Vanitas closed his eyes and lost consciousness.

He was safe for now and he would recover in the next few days. But once he was awake and went back to his house, he would hate himself for not making it to the end.

* * *

Vanitas was scratching at his shoulder, and he stared at nothing in particular. It was almost 10 PM and Robert said he had someone to introduce to him. Not giving it too much thought, Vanitas agreed to meet him and whoever that someone was on their usual spot and he got himself another cigarette just in time to see the other boy crossing the street in his direction, a girl by his side.

"Hey, man." Robert greeted him and Vanitas stood up, nodding and looking at the newcomer. "This is Chris. I met her two weeks ago at that party I told you about."

"Hello, there." The girl said and Vanitas smiled at her. "Vanitas, isn't it?"

"That's right."

"Robert told me a lot about you! He said you use to hang out together?"

He nodded. "We're always around here. There isn't much to do in this place, really. You from around here?"

"She just moved in." Robert looked at her. "So I thought, hey, maybe Van and I could keep her company for a while."

Vanitas raised his eyebrow. "I don't see why not."

They never developed a real friendship; the three teenagers became colleagues and would spend their nights together, talking and smoking. Sometimes Chris would bring in drinks, which Vanitas always denied, saying he couldn't drink them to hide how much he hated them. Thankfully, neither of them forced him to do anything while they were together. At least not for a while.

Chris took a liking to him. He never questioned why, he just let her be and tried his best to be nice and gentle to her. Soon, she started taking him to parties she went, to tell him about the many things she had done before moving in and, even though he wasn't surprised, he was amused by her stories. So he tagged along and accompanied her to the places she asked him to.

Her favorite place to go was to a dance club whose owner she was friends with. Robert usually went with them too, enjoying that he could get in for free, but not as much when he found out he'd have to buy anything he wanted inside. Vanitas, on the other hand, didn't really mind. As long as he could keep his mind busy, he'd continue to go.

It wasn't like he even did much in there anyway. Once they were inside, he'd find himself a seat, sit down and wait until Chris was satisfied. He observed her dancing and laughing, calling everyone's attention wherever she went. She was a very attractive girl, he could tell that. And, by the way she looked at the other men who hit on her, she knew that too.

"Do you like to dance, Van?" She asked one day, hugging him from behind with a drowsy voice.

"Not really."

"Aw, come on!" She tried to pull him up. "Just for a minute. You need to have more fun, you know."

"I have enough fun just watching you." He said, not meaning anything by it. It really was amusing to see how easily she could get people to like her. It was funny that she preferred to stick around him and Robert when so many people were head over heels for her.

"Just a bit, pretty please?"

She moved her hands down his chest and Vanitas blinked, confused at that feeling. He shook his head, not moving from where he was. "I'm good here. Thank you, though."

That scene repeated many other times when going with her to said places. It happened so much that it started to make him feel uncomfortable which was when he told her to stop.

"I just want to dance with you, Van! It doesn't hurt to, you know?"

"Look, I don't… Feel comfortable dancing or even being around too many people like this. I just do it for you. Hoped you could respect me a little bit."

She frowned and stared at him intently. "You… Oh, Van, I didn't know, I… I'm sorry!"

He rolled his eyes, once again not giving it too much thought. It didn't really matter, he just wanted to chill out. But then she reached for his hands and gave them a squeeze, not taking her eyes off him before leaning in closer, looking down to his lips.

"Then… Maybe you could come to my house! We can spend some time together alone if you'd like."

Vanitas stared at her for a moment and then slowly pulled away. He could feel himself blushing further so he looked away. That was… Unexpected, to say the least.

"Uh… Sure, I guess." _I have nothing else to do anyway_. "What do you want to do there?"

"Oh, I don't know. We could watch a movie?"

"Sure. Just… Let me know when."

Two weeks later Chris called him in the evening. Xehanort didn't really care where he went anymore, assuming he was just going to meet that friend of his again, but Robert wasn't going tonight. Vanitas left his house at 7 and arrived at hers a few minutes later. She was already waiting for him; apparently, there was no one else home.

"Come in. My bedroom is upstairs." She told him and he followed her, trying not to look around too much. He had never gone to someone else's house before and coming to her house of all places felt odd. Still, there he was. To watch a movie or something. Her room was relatively clean, with a few items of clothing throw in the corner of the room. Other than that, it felt cozy even.

"Who do you live with?" He asked, looking at the posters on her wall.

"My dad and my stepmother. Don't worry though, they won't be back until tomorrow morning."

"Oh, I was just-"

He heard her close the door behind him and turned around; she smiled at him.

"Relax, Vanitas. There's no one here but you and me."

With that, she approached him and pushed him on the bed. Vanitas stared at her with surprise and, once again, unexpecting that. He did imagine she wanted something more than to just watch a movie, but-

"Hey… Can I ask you something?" She smiled down at him, running her fingers up his chest.

"Y… Yeah?"

"Are you a virgin?"

The question shook him in his core and Vanitas cleared his throat, now understanding why, while her touch seemed nice, he felt tense with it. It reminded him of that day. Was he a virgin after all? He wasn't sure. He had no idea of what it meant to not be one, he'd only heard of it at school, nothing more!

"I… U-uh, I-"

"Can I kiss you?"

Vanitas blushed even more and his body felt hotter than before. He didn't know if that was a good thing.

"You..." He stuttered and she laughed. He must sound like a child to her now and, to a certain extent, that's what he was. Not really an adult, not a young child anymore. He still felt confused and nervous but now he could hide it better than when he was a kid. He couldn't hide his blushing cheeks though. "Yeah."

Chris didn't waste any second before leaning in for a kiss, and she immediately explored his mouth with his tongue. Vanitas didn't return it for a while, he still didn't know if this was the right thing to do.

"The moment I lay my eyes on you… Ah, you're so hot, Vanitas!"

She continued to kiss him and to praise him but Vanitas' mind wasn't entirely on it. He could see she was excited but he hesitated. Her sudden and unexpected movements, even the way with which she touched his body, made him flinch. It had been so long ago but the emotions and sensations he felt in those nightmarish nights were buried deep inside him.

The girl smiled at him, holding his chin. "You look tense. Haven't done this before, uh? Don't worry… I'll teach you."

The moment she put her hand between his legs, however, was when the sensations got more confusing. She was doing the same as his father had, but he was actually enjoying her touches somehow. Was it because she was a woman? No, that wasn't it. Maybe because he was older? No, he was sure that if his father tried anything nowadays he'd feel just as disgusted as years ago. Maybe because…

He tried to find a reason, an explanation, but couldn't. He held his breath when she pulled his pants down and gasped when she touched him there, but the memories refused to leave!

"Chris… Chris, l-listen..."

"Oh…? Hard already, aren't we? You _are_ a virgin, alright." She laughed and kept on stroking him.

"N… No, Chris… Stop, p-please..."

"We just barely started, Van."

He didn't feel satisfied as her when he came on her hand. He felt conflicted, everything felt wrong. But he stopped asking her to stop; he let her do it, he didn't mean to upset her, and soon he'd found himself on top of her, sweating, panting and wondering if that was how his father had felt when on top of him.

"Come on, Van. Why did you stop?" Chris whispered, smiling and touching his face. "You are a man, aren't you?"

He didn't remember much of his night with her. Aside from when they started and when they finished, everything else was a blur. Chris assured him everything was alright, and she sounded proud for having sex with him, but he just felt out of place and disgusting. She said she wanted it. She said he should do it. He was doing it because she was comfortable with it, he wasn't forcing her to do something she didn't want. But in doing so, he forgot about what _he_ wanted. And he knew he hadn't wanted to do it.

* * *

It was the fifth time he tried to adjust his tie. He had already wrinkled his shirt from moving too much and with each failed attempt he let out another grumble.

Why was it so hard to do that? No, why did it seem like he was the only one who didn't know how to? He hadn't heard of anyone in his class complaining because they didn't know how to tie a tie knot!

Vanitas rolled his eyes and stared at his reflection in the mirror. He looked terrible; anyone could tell he wasn't sleeping enough by the dark circles under his eyes. Why should he care, though? It didn't matter what people thought of his face or even of his tie. It really wasn't that important, why was that stupid graduation so important after all?

He straightened his shirt again and put the tie in his pants pocket. Everyone from his class seemed to be excited, everyone but him. He wasn't trying to be different or to contradict people for the fun of it, Vanitas just really didn't understand why there was so much happiness involved in something so… Simple and bland.

Perhaps it made sense for those who had plans for their future, but for him? There was no need to worry. He was pretty sure he would be dead before his twenties anyway.

Vanitas left his room, checking the time on his wristwatch. There were still two hours left before the ceremony, but he didn't really have anything else to do at home so he decided to leave earlier. He turned off the lights, checked if his keys were in his pocket and was about to open the door when his father called.

"Where's your tie?"

"Uh?" Vanitas stared at him; he too was wearing formal clothes. "Oh… I'm going without it."

"Don't tell me you couldn't tie a knot."

"... Uh..."

"Come here."

Xehanort shook his head and walked to him before he could move. Vanitas lowered his head and took a step back. His father's voice was soft and calm and that was never a good sign. It made him feel uncomfortable, as if that wasn't really his father there, just something hiding behind his face. But the adult didn't do anything, just straightened the boy's shirt and looked at him.

"Where is it? I'll do it for you."

He was in no position to say no; with an irritated but subtle sigh, he pulled it from his pocket and gave it to him, not moving an inch while his father explained how he should do it. Vanitas didn't pay attention to what he said, only to his reactions, waiting for the insult that was bound to come soon or later.

"There. Much better now."

Vanitas looked down to see it; the knot was impeccable now. He nodded, an automatic but silent thank you, and his father continued.

"Where are you going so early? I thought the ceremony was only due in two hours."

"I'll wait there."

"Why don't you wait here for a while longer? I'm going by car, we can go together."

Vanitas frowned. "You're… Going?"

"Of course I'm going! Today is a special day. Maybe the most important day of your life until now!"

"And why is that?"

"From today onwards, you're no longer a child… Today marks the moment when you become a young man. Not everyone gets this far and, for that, I am proud of you."

Vanitas swallowed dry; Xehanort was smiling. He felt his insides twist and yet hearing these words made him feel strange. Even though he had told himself for so many years to stop seeking validation from the one person who'd never give it to him, the little boy inside him still felt proud of himself.

Ugh.

He left his house shortly after, walking to the place where the ceremony would take place. It was a 20 minutes walk from his home there and most of his classmates would go by car. Of course; it helped to keep their clothes tidy and neat, plus so they wouldn't feel tired before the event started. And, of course, so they could go with their family members.

But not him. He had always done everything by himself and didn't want to depend on anyone. Still, he couldn't help the lump in his throat seeing his classmates laughing and talking with their familiars and friends, smiling and happy.

It occurred to him that Ephemera was as old as him. He wondered if the boy was graduating today too, in whatever city he lived now, celebrating that… Special day. His parents were definitely with him now, covering him in hugs and affection, loving him as he deserved to be loved.

A few years in the future, the little boy who was his brother would be celebrating too. With his own father. And a mother who actually cared for him.

Vanitas hated himself for it but, no matter how much he tried to push that thought away, he knew he'd rather have his father there than to be alone.

He walked around the place for thirty minutes, observing without saying anything and avoiding contact. The others were being called to take pictures at the entrance but his father hadn't arrived yet and he didn't want to be alone. So he walked away from them and went inside, seeing the seats that were reserved to the students' parents. Sure, his father did tell the principal he would be there but that had been months ago. He wasn't sure he believed him.

It did make him wonder however if a person could change so abruptly like that. Maybe he felt truly interested in being there because it was an 'important day' like he had said. Maybe he wanted to try again and right his wrong. Maybe, if he proved to be good enough himself, things could change for the better.

'They will not change', he told himself. But kept waiting.

The ceremony finally started after what felt like ages and Vanitas found himself sitting among people he knew nothing about. He knew their names and he knew which ones were the best students in the class, but that was all. He had never bothered to make friends again, or even to talk to someone. And now, being among so many people, he never felt so alone.

Vanitas listened to the principal as she welcomed those who had already arrived, which were pretty much everyone. Only a few seats were empty but from where he was now he couldn't see if Xehanort was there. Well, there was still time left. It had just started after all.

Soon enough however the students started to be called, one by one. All of those names, none of them meant anything. At least not to him; everyone else in the hall clapped vigorously every time someone stood up and people screamed, friends and familiars alike.

That scene repeated more times than he'd like and at last it was his turn. Once he heard his name he stood up and realization of what he was doing finally hit him, making him feel suddenly tense and nervous. Had his father arrived in time to see him? He walked up to the stairs, his head down, counting every step as if that would postpone the moment where everyone would be able to see him.

There weren't too many claps for him, which wasn't a surprise since he didn't have any friends. But at that moment, he let that innocent childish hope grow inside of him. He reached the top of the stairs, walked on the stage to where one of his teachers were waiting for him with his certificate and then looked back to the parents' seats.

"Vanitas?"

There was complete silence. Vanitas didn't move.

"Vanitas?" His teacher took a few steps to him and touched his shoulder. "Are you alright?"

Then he turned to her, pressing his lips together, closing his fingers into fists.

"He's not here."

His teacher frowned for a moment, then looked back to the empty seat. She tightened her fingers on his shoulder.

"He's not here." The boy repeated, letting out an ironic laughter just as he started to tremble. Of course he wasn't. "He's n-not here."

"Vanitas..." She opened her arms to offer him a hug but he pushed her hands away, glaring at her with anger and shame. Of course he wasn't, he never was. And he knew, he knew he wouldn't be, but a part of him, that stupid and innocent piece had still been able to imagine that-

Vanitas ran. He ran down the stairs as fast as he could and left that place, ran away from those people, away from all of that nonsense of a celebration. He had nothing to celebrate.

Pride? Proud of what? His father had no reason to be proud of him. Everything he had done to the man was to ruin his life. Not only his but everyone else's. He hadn't even been able to put an end to himself when he had the chance, he hadn't been able to do anything. It had all been a big lie, nonsense hope that one day he would be happy. He wouldn't be, he didn't deserve to be!

His hand reached for the cigarette pack in his pocket, quickly pulling one out and lighting it effortlessly. He picked up his pace, not really thinking of where he was going, just trying to stay as away as he could. Away from everything and everyone, away from the shame that seemed to tear through his skin, from all that anger. Away from all that hope.

It was 8 PM when he arrived at one of the city squares and sat on one of the benches, taking a drag on his cigarette. He was an idiot for still believing. He had all those wounds on his body, a damn cut on his chest, all of them given to him by the man who was his father. And even then he had wanted him to be there? Why? Did he think he could change? Did he think he could become someone he'd like to have around, a friend like his classmates' parents were to their children? Someone who actually cared for him, who was truly proud?

The cigarette trembled in his hands and he felt a lump in his throat. Vanitas held as much as he could, told himself to stop being such a kid and to grow up, but his heart was heavy and he buried his face on his hands, sobbing loud and desperately. Just as alone now as he had been before.

Vanitas spent more than an hour alone in that place. He broke down, thinking and rethinking a thousand things to himself, and smoked more than he used to. When he managed to stand up even with the excruciating headache and the will to hide from everyone, Vanitas walked back home not looking anywhere but ahead. Always ahead, just trying to get there. What would happen after, what school would do about him, it didn't matter. All he wanted and needed was to lock himself in his room and hope that, once he was out, he wouldn't wake up the next day.

When he arrived home, he opened the entrance door careful not to make any noise and glanced to the couch. There was a purse there, a feminine purse, and a blouse he had never seen before. Walking into the kitchen, he stared at the bottle of wine that wasn't there when he left and sighed. He walked in silent steps, hearing the sounds inside his father's bedroom. And then he understood why Xehanort had been wearing those clothes before.

* * *

"You what?"

Chris wouldn't stop crying, inconsolable. He would've felt sad for her but he couldn't lie; she was the wrong one in this case. He crossed his arms and stared at her coldly.

"I didn't mean, to, Van! I-I was drunk! And… It just happened!"

"Cheating doesn't just happen, Chris, you know that very well!" He wasn't going to take it lightly and wanted to make that very clear.

"I know! Look, okay, I know I messed up… B-but the guy, he's insane! I don't want to go there alone, I'm scared, Van!"

The teen rolled his eyes. He had gone through a rough week at school, his father was grumpier than usual, and now this. What was he, a magnet for trouble?

"So you cheated on your boyfriend, which is by no means acceptable, avoided him for over a month and now that he wants to talk you're afraid he's going to do something to you: Did I get all of that right?"

"Yes! I don't know what he's able to do…!"

She started crying again and Vanitas grumbled, running his hand down his hair in disbelief. "Jesus fucking Christ, can't you stop fucking things up for once?"

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, Vanitas, I swear I-"

He ignored everything she said, merely stared at the girl while she sobbed and asked for his help. That wasn't his problem, he had many of his own to deal with already, why should he care? If she was old enough to cheat, she was definitely old enough to deal with the consequences. Or at least she should be.

Vanitas picked up another cigarette, smoking while she spoke and gave him a million excuses as to why she had done what she did. He thought of telling Robert about it so he could help her with that but Robert had his own responsibilities too.

"It doesn't matter if the guy was an awful partner, Chris. If you didn't like him then just, I don't know, have some common sense and break up?"

"I'm sorry…!"

He blew out some smoke and stared at her with a tired expression on his face. "What do you want me to do? I'm not going to fight the guy, if that's what you want, you did him wr-"

"No, no, no, I just want you to come with me!" She smiled, affected. "I'll do the talking, you just have to be there in case he… Tries something."

"And do what if he does try?"

"Come on, Vanitas! You wouldn't let him hurt a friend of yours, would you?"

"Not sure if I can call a cheater my friend, Chris."

Maybe he was being a bit hypocritical. After starting High School he didn't give a damn about anyone anymore, which had led him to hurt people just because. Seeing them crying or just getting angry at him wasn't fun, he didn't enjoy it, but he didn't really give a damn anymore. He bet other people wouldn't like being friends with him either but, well, that was their problem. Or so he thought.

The girl kept looking at him, waiting for a reply. Vanitas took his sweet time to say anything and then thought of her going by herself to meet this... Guy he didn't even know. He wouldn't forgive himself if something bad happened to her, even if she had asked for it.

He sighed. "Okay, fine. But keep in mind that, if he does something to me, it's your fault it's happened, Chris!"

She nodded vigorously, relieved. "O-Okay!"

That same night he left his house at 8:30, holding his jacket closer to himself. It was cold and windy, a great night to stay indoors and do nothing on the bed. He groaned to himself; he had accepted it, so he'd keep his word.

Chris met him a few squares from his house and they walked together for twenty minutes before reaching their destination. Vanitas groaned and glared at her.

"Why the fuck are we going into an alley? This means trouble, Chris."

"It's where he wanted to meet!" She said in an excuse. "What can I do about it? Now you see why I didn't want to come alone!"

"Yeah, because you wanted to drag me to hell with you!"

She didn't say another word and they walked in, going further between the houses and quickly engulfed by a very dim light. Vanitas hadn't failed to notice how Chris didn't seem to be as emotive as earlier. Tense, but not emotive. What had he gotten himself into?

"... Chris..."

They heard footsteps up ahead and stopped walking. A tall and strong teenager came into view and started to walk to them.

"... What are we really doing here?"

"So..." The other man began; he was definitely older than them and Vanitas immediately regretted coming. "Decided to bring someone else with you, uh? I suppose he's the one with the money?"

Vanitas stared at her. "... Chris, what am _I_ doing here?"

"He doesn't have any money on him. Neither do I. But..." She took a step forward. "Marko, look, just give me a few more days! I swear I'll pay you!"

"I've given you two more weeks than I should, bitch. No more time for you."

The air felt heavy and both Vanitas felt awfully tense. What was he talking about? Money? It wasn't about relationships then, he should've known when they waked into the alley, but-

"And the guy..." Marko smiled at Vanitas. "I feel merciful today, so I'll let him go."

Vanitas held his breath, not taking his eyes off the man. There was a mad shine in his eyes, one he knew too well.

"Marko, please-"

"Shut up, Chris!" He walked to her and held the girl by her arms, pulling her with him. "You had your chance, it's too late now!"

Vanitas acted out of instinct. It didn't matter if she had lied about an ex or whatever the fuck she did, he knew the guy was up to no good and he couldn't simply let him take her away! He moved as fast as he could, jumping on the taller male and holding his arms, screaming at Chris to leave! She pulled herself free but fell on the ground and Marko laughed, walking toward a wall and hitting Vanitas against it.

"Well, damn." The guy laughed and Vanitas gulped. "I wanted to be merciful but if you want to die so much so be it!"

His knuckles hit Vanitas' stomach with force, over and over again, until he had bent over his body and struggled to breathe. Marko smiled at him, enjoying his pain-stricken face, and held him by his neck against the wall, his feet leaving the ground.

"You thought I was fooling around?!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. Vanitas tried to push him away but the guy pressed himself against him, holding his arms and legs. "I told you to leave, didn't I? But you chose not too! Well, too bad!"

He closed his fingers over Vanitas' throat, laughing at how desperate he looked while he tried to break free. Vanitas didn't even have a chance to move and already knew he would pass out but Marko suddenly let go and he fell to the ground, coughing and shaking.

"Oh, I see how it is!" Marko spoke and Vanitas looked up, trying to see what was going on; Chris had hit him and now he was holding her. "That's the guy you like, isn't he? And because you were afraid, you brought him along. How nice, Chris."

He punched her to the ground just as Vanitas stood up and pointed a gun to his face.

"Now you get to see him die first."

Vanitas never reacted so fast in his whole life! He threw himself forward, even with the little air he still had left, hearing the bullet fly over his head, and went for Marko's legs, making him fall and desperately trying to keep his hand on the floor.

"Chris!"

The girl jumped on him as well, kicking his face to make him drop the gun. In a fit of desperation, Vanitas punched him and reached for the weapon, jumping to his feet with it in hands. He pointed it to the other teenager and put his finger on the trigger.

"Vanitas, don't!"

Vanitas was shaking uncontrollably, prone to shoot by accident, the adrenaline telling him to do so. It felt terrible to see Marko on the ground, no longer so tough but afraid instead. He was begging for his life, Chris was begging him not to do it, and Vanitas was finally feeling what control felt like. He literally had someone's life in his hand, he could take it away so easily, and that idea, that notion made him step back in fear.

It wasn't Marko who he wanted to shoot. With that much power in hands, the one he wanted to kill was the one who was holding the gun.

He pointed the gun to the floor, panting, sweating. He didn't break eye contact with the guy and both stared at each other. They were tense and nervous but it didn't have to get any worse than that.

"Go away." Vanitas said, his voice coming out shaky but decisive. "And leave her the fuck alone!"

Marko left as fast as he could, never turning his back to Vanitas, believe he'd shoot him while he ran. He wasn't a fool but Vanitas wasn't either. They observed while he fled, waited until they were sure he wasn't coming back and, once the teen was finally away, Vanitas fell to his knees and coughed again, letting go of the weapon, frightened by it.

"Van! Van, are you o-"

"Don't touch me!" He screamed at the girl, pushing her away. He could've killed someone by mistake!

"Thank God you didn't shoot. I was so sc-"

"Shut up!" He stood up, the ground spinning under him. "What the… What the fuck were you thinking, Chris?"

She didn't say a word. Vanitas continued to scream.

"You knew this would happen! You knew this would happen so you brought me here as a distraction to him? You brought me here to die!"

"Vanitas, no, I-"

"How much do you owe him? Were you doing drugs, Chris? Did you pull me into this mess, did you lie to me after _you_ fucked up?"

"Van-"

"You get rid of this gun!" He pointed at it, shaking with anger. "You get rid of it and deal with your own problems, don't you _dare_ get near me again!"

He left the alley and left her behind. He should've known, he should have! He felt pity for her, had risked his life for her, and had almost died for it. Worse, he had almost killed someone for it. It was insane! How could she…

As soon as he stepped inside his house, Vanitas ran to the bathroom, leaning on the sink and throwing up. His neck hurt, his head hurt, everything hurt. He couldn't believe that after so long he had had his trust broken again! Chris not only lied to him, but she also consciously lead him to danger!

How could she!

He knelt down next to the sink, breathing in and out as slow as he could, trying to keep his heart from bursting out of his chest. Thank God he hadn't told Robert, thank God no one else knew. Thank God Marko hadn't been shot.

He closed his eyes, remembering how it felt to hold the gun.

Thank God he hadn't pulled the trigger.

* * *

High school. For the third time.

For the third time, he walked through the open gates not really wanting to while being pushed by the new students. For the third time, he waited for the opening ceremony by the same principal and the same vice-principal, the same words, the same everything.

It was funny to see all that excitement on the newest students' faces. It always worked the same way; Yen Sid's encouraging words made them feel special, which gave them enough energy to endure maybe a month or two without complaining. Teenage years, almost adults, yada yada, they all always believed the same useless speech. Soon enough however they'd be just like him; tired of going there every day and wishing they could quit.

Once they were free to go, Vanitas let the youngest ones go ahead and just watched, amused but reality quickly dawned on him and he sighed, exhausted. Once he was finally inside, he walked to the first empty seat he saw and walked to it, tired and already bored for being there again. Vanitas pulled his notebook from inside his backpack, settled down on his desk and let himself be, arms crossed over his chest.

He looked around; sometimes other students who'd failed the year would end up in the same class as him but this year he seemed to be completely alone. He saw Seifer, an older boy who he had fought before, but who probably didn't even know who he was anymore. And that was it. Everyone else was a new face. And one of those new faces was staring right at him.

Vanitas groaned. Just as he stared at the boy then noticed someone else behind it, identical to the first one: Twins! It had been some time since he'd seen twins there. While the blond from behind seemed to be focused on his own things, the one in the front continued to look at him. What the hell?

"What are you looking at?"

"Nothing, I-"

Vanitas looked angry but what he really wanted to do was to laugh. He had simply asked a question and the boy was already freaking out. He looked away from the blond; it was funny to observe people's reactions when he spoke to them. Most of them seemed to be scared of him.

"You don't really need to speak in that tone, you know?"

"Or what? Will you force me to do it, blondie?"

It wasn't something he was proud of, but it did help since it allowed him to stay by himself in peace.

He could still feel how much the boy looked at him. Vanitas groaned again, listened to Luxord call the roll and then heard the blond answer to his name.

"I'm here, sir!"

"Ventus, huh?"

* * *

"Why are you so harsh?"

That was just what he needed.

Apparently, it wasn't enough to be hit with a broken bottle and to have cut his arm, no. It wasn't enough to have a wound on his shoulder that refused to heal. No, he still had to put up with that noisy brat who for some reason still remembered he existed!

"No one here treated you bad, you know. And... And everyone's worried! There's no reason for you to-"

"I don't give a damn" He replied between teeth, loud enough for more people to hear it. "I didn't ask for anyone to worry"

"Ven, he doesn't want to be bothered. Let him go"

"You should listen to your brother more often." Said Vanitas, laughing unwillingly "At least he seems to have a bit of common sense"

At least he seems to know it wasn't worth it to worry about him.

* * *

"You can stop that already."

Ventus looked at him, confused "Stop that what?"

"Don't pretend you don't know!"

He didn't know why he was getting so worked up. He should've just ignored the boy and left him be like he always tried to do with everyone else. And yet, he just couldn't do that, not with Ventus. He reminded him too much of _him_. Desperately trying to get his attention and for no reason at all. It made him angry. It made him nervous.

"So that's that. You already got what you wanted, little Ven. No need to play the good guy anymore"

"Got what I- What are you talking about?"

"Oh, come on!" Vanitas gritted his teeth in exasperation "What other reason did you have to come after me that way? Do you think I don't see how you look at me?"

"W... Well, you were hurt. I couldn't ignore that now, could I?"

Yes, he could. Of course he could, everyone always did.

"You... You think I helped you for that? To prove something?"

"Wouldn't be the first time someone does that."

"You're wrong! I didn't... Want to prove anything. I was actually worried about you!"

"Really now? And why? Will you tell me or you don't know?"

"Because- Because you're always too quiet and all by yourself. And... And you looked sad. I wanted to help! And to..."

Vanitas wanted to stand up and leave at that moment, but he didn't. He kept his cool, told himself not to react to that, not to think about how miserable he must've looked for the blond to come after him.

"Kid, no one does anything unless there's a reward for it. You wouldn't have done it unless it would be worth for you."

"That's not true! It is not and... And I'll prove it to you!"

"Good luck, then! You can't"

But he did.

* * *

Vanitas realized not too long after they started to spend more time together: He liked to be with Ventus.

It didn't matter if during class, maybe on their breaks when they played chess, anywhere. He just felt better when he was with him. He never showed it though; he had no reason to. To show him how much he cared would make him vulnerable and that vulnerability would make him suffer again. It was much easier to stay quiet, to observe how things were going and hide his thoughts behind the chessboard.

He couldn't deny however it made him happy to see the boy running to him every morning to wish him a good morning. And he smiled.

Vanitas realized he loved his smile.

His innocence captivated him. There was so much kindness in him, so much joy and excitement every day. It was special, gratifying even.

"I want you to be true to yourself as you have always been. It's... One of the things that I like the most about you"

Ventus had smiled again. The most beautiful smiled he had ever seen. And then Ventus sat closer to him and Vanitas felt his cheeks burn, silently hoping he's come closer and closer...

"Vani... I don't know what exactly happened to you that day. But I want... I want you to be true to me too. And I want that if you ever need something, anything... Don't forget you can count on me, okay?"

He still didn't know why the blond had come to cared so much for him or where all that affection had come from. He didn't deserve all that, but Ventus seemed to disagree. He made him feel complete and satisfied, not like the mistake he always believed he was. But there was something more about him, something he had never felt before with anyone before. It was a good feeling.

Vanitas realized he loved him.

* * *

"I love your smile. I love your laughter. And your voice. And the way you hold my hand. I love everything about you, but… When I saw you for the first time what caught my attention the most… Were your eyes."

Ventus' voice echoed in his mind. It was so gentle and kind. So full of affection and care. Ventus made him believe that, maybe, despite all of his mistakes he really deserved a second chance. Even if he had believed the contrary his entire life, maybe he could really change.

He wasn't alone anymore. For the first time, he actually believed that. He wasn't alone.

"You're special. You're important. You're loved, Vanitas! Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise!"

He had friends. He had people who cared for him. He had Ventus, the person he loved the most in the world. He wanted to be by his side for the rest of his life because Ventus gave him hope. He gave him a reason to fight, a reason to leave his bed every morning.

"I love you so much."

"I love you too, Vanitas."

One day, he would have his own house and he would call Ventus to live with him. He would be the best person he could be because Ventus brought out the best in him. He had taught him so much in so little time.

"You're special. You're important. You're loved, Vanitas! Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise!"

 _"You've got to be kidding me."_

He had spent half of his life looking for ways to end it. But he didn't want to die now; he wanted to stay alive, to have a new chance of living. He felt proud of himself.

 _"Don't you open that fucking mouth of yours if you won't answer me! Are you dating another man?!"_

And even if he was still scared about asking for help, he would do it. He would get help, he knew he would.

 _"V-Ven gave it to me… Please, it's important for me, please g-give it b-back!"_

 _"Ven? Your… Boyfriend? Disgusting!"_

And he would finally tell his inner child, the little boy that still lived within him that everything would be alright. And when he met him again in his thoughts and memories, he would be able to smile at him and hold him.

 _"I'd be much better off without you! Why don't you just leave while you can, Vanitas?! Why don't you just die?!"_

And he would hug him with care. He'd keep him safe in his heart that even though hurt was still beating! And he would tell the little boy to be strong. To keep fighting and wait for the day when things would get better. He would tell him he was alright. He would tell him…

 _He felt a soft touch on his cheek. It hurt. It hurt so much. It was cold, cold and dark but there was a warm touch on his cheek, of someone who would take care of him. Of someone he loved._

He was…

 _Ven..._

... Happy.


End file.
